The material presented
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My husband has been on a binge for the past 4 weeks. I've been living the slogans "easy does it," "live and let live" and "let go and let god." So I've been basically leaving him up to his own devices. I'm scared though - today he drank a lot very quickly and got incredibly drunk. He's on Antabuse and after he passed out, he vomited in his sleep. Fortunately he is on his side and I have been watching him. He has been incoherent and unresponsive for the past 6 hours. Where we live is in a state of emergency due to Hurricane Irene so any non-hurricane related matters will be given secondary priority so I'm very reluctant to call 911. I have read all over the place that the only thing that will sober up a drunk person is time. He has stopped vomiting and is moving around a bit. Am I a terrible wife for not calling 911? I know what will happen (we've been to the hospital 4 times in the past year) - they will hook him up to an iv, take some blood, get him a psych evaluation and he'll be home by tomorrow afternoon to do it all over again. And I'll have to sit in the emergency room for hours watching him sober up rather than be comfortable at home. I'm really conflicted!
__________________
--Mare
Grateful member of Al Anon
"Live in and for the day, each and every day, starting right now."
Janet Geringer Woititz, Ed.D., "Marriage on the Rocks: Learning to Live with Yourself and
an Alcoholic."
I'm in the RN field....I would say just get him to stir every so often, like every one or two hours, check his pulse & breathing. If his pulse gets below 60/min you should make the phonecall or is only taking 10 breaths/ min (or less) make the phonecall.
Thanks for the advice. I have been checking on him like you suggest. Thanks!!
__________________
--Mare
Grateful member of Al Anon
"Live in and for the day, each and every day, starting right now."
Janet Geringer Woititz, Ed.D., "Marriage on the Rocks: Learning to Live with Yourself and
an Alcoholic."
Is there a doctor you can call? Basically I would want to know what signs make it urgent to call 911. If he has a regular doctor -- or you do -- maybe you could pose this question to them. Of course you have to watch out because they don't want to be sued, so they will tend to say, "If in any doubt at all, call 911." But what I would want to know is when you should move heaven and earth to call 911 because his life is in the balance, versus when it's the same old same old. The fact that he has stopped vomiting sounds good, and the fact that you kept watch over him and made sure he was breathing.
I would also want to know what the recommended protocol is for Antabuse when the person goes on drinking. Do they recommend just stopping the Antabuse? The person who prescribed the Antabuse must have faced this situation before. Is this person or doctor reachable after hours? I would think they would have an answering service that could relay a message -- ?
Basically, what a terrifying situation. It is terrible that with an alcoholic, terrifying situations can be an everyday event. How incredibly stressful for you. Do you know people from an Al-Anon meeting or do you have a sponsor? We need all the support we can get to go through this absolutely insane stuff.
It sounds to me as if he has turned the corner. If not, if things get worse, I imagine you can call 911 and ask them whether they think the situation is urgent enough to warrant their coming.
Please take good care of yourself too. What a very, very stressful situation.
Everyone has given you rock solid suggestions. I hope where ever you are at in Irene that you are safe.
I agree on being able to call someone or even just an email makes a huge difference. You are not alone and you shouldn't be going through two different crisis at the same time, especially alone!
Hugs P
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Thanks folks. I've kept myself sane reading all evening and it's been helping me. He awoke and although not even close to sober, he's able to speak a little and focus his eyes. I just hope that nothing disastrous occurs (I'm not the panicky sort but I am feeling concerned) and I'm not left to figure everything out myself! Thanks for being here guys.
__________________
--Mare
Grateful member of Al Anon
"Live in and for the day, each and every day, starting right now."
Janet Geringer Woititz, Ed.D., "Marriage on the Rocks: Learning to Live with Yourself and
an Alcoholic."
You can call 911 and not have to ride the ambulance to the hospital yourself.
He can get a cab back or after a referral to a rehab a cab to the rehab. This
isn't a new problem I'm guessing maybe just needing a new solution. Might want to call the central office of your local AA and ask for one, couple, some of them to come out and 12th step your alky. Done that also and some times it works. Last one has over a year sober now. By the grace of God.
I am so glad you are back, I remember you. I think you have enough technical information from those that came before me. I just wanted to let you know we are here for you in love and support. Keep writing, keep coming back.
This thread made me shiver. I remember being in the grips of alcoholism so bad that I would drink regardless of how very sick it made me. So sorry you have to witness this and go through it. Alcoholism is truly ugly and awful.
We're okay. We made it through the hurricane and the night without issue. Got up and went for a short walk to see the results and then home. He ran down to barbecue a burger,was gone a long time and came back drunk. He took $20 out at a local ATM, bought himself a bottle and drank it. I knew before he even came back what he was doing and told him that I really couldn't handle another day of this so he could do one of three things - stop drinking, go up to bed or go somewhere out of our apartment. He went up to bed and I put together a lasagna, am listening to Debussy on our surround sound and reading a good book. Quiet time is nice.
__________________
--Mare
Grateful member of Al Anon
"Live in and for the day, each and every day, starting right now."
Janet Geringer Woititz, Ed.D., "Marriage on the Rocks: Learning to Live with Yourself and
an Alcoholic."
And thank you all so very much for your ongoing love, support and kindness. Truly amazing.
__________________
--Mare
Grateful member of Al Anon
"Live in and for the day, each and every day, starting right now."
Janet Geringer Woititz, Ed.D., "Marriage on the Rocks: Learning to Live with Yourself and
an Alcoholic."