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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> compassion
Post Info TOPIC: compassion
Tracy


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compassion
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Hi all my A is active again after 9 months sober his disease has progressed and I have detached trying hard to work my programme and do what is right for me and my kids.  I text him couple of days ago and said that he was ill and hoped he could reach out to his hp but I can not watch and i wanted no contact anymore.  Later on he started texting obsessively I turned my phone off when he rang at three in the morning he seemed convinced in txts that I had someone else he is insane with the disease I can see it so much clearer now I have seem spells of him sober.  My heart breaks for him but I have to protect me and the kids.  He started ringing the house phone none stop so I changed the things I could and unplugged the phone and went back to bed finally he turned up at my home throing stones at the window.  I let him in just for 10 mins I assured him there was no one else and again repeated that I could not help he knew where the help was.  He said he knew and that he would get there I know we should not cry in front of them cause it makes them giulty and feeds the disease but its so hard seeing him going down this is why I can not have contact, I do not want to watch.  He wwent in my fridhe there was 1 bottle of beer he took it I never stooped him and he left.  I have not heard anything since and have been focusing on myself.  I do not have any resentment I can see the illness I am just so sad.

But I have lots of gratitude that today I have al anon and he know where AA is I am just handing it all over to hp and trying to work my programme,

hugs tracy xxx



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RLC


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"I am just handing it all over to hp and trying to work my programme."

Tracy your not trying to work your program, you are working your program. What a perfect example for all to follow.

Here's HUG and a pat on the back from me.

(((HUGS)))

RLC




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GailMichelle


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Hi Tracy,

Your subject "compassion" matches your actions you took with your A.  I think that was the most loving thing you could do.  You never know, he might be close to his bottom.  That's what they have to hit before recovery begins.

Do I understand you correctly?  Your A accused you of having another man in your home?  If so, I think that is a typical accusation.  When my exAH and I were separated and then divorce, he would ask me, "Who is he?" and "Where did you meet him?"  I used to feel hurt when he'd ask me those question.  But now I realize it was the disease accusing.  My ex, when sober, knows me much better than that.

You're doing very well, Tracy.  I know it hurts deeply.  Feel the hurt, don't hide from it.  It will pass.  And continue doing the next right thing.

Take good care of you and your child.



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You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light.  Lama Surya Das

Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die.  Malachy McCourt
Pushka


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Big hugs Tracy,

It is never easy to do what is best for us and best for the A.

Work you program, hugs again P :)

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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Debilyn


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no its so hard loving them so much and watching them be so sick.

I am glad you are protecting you and the kids. All of you need that, and you know if he was well he would want you to protect them.

I know myself I could not watch it either.

Sending you lots of love and serenity. deb



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

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Ruby


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God bless you and your love ones.  You are doing a wonderful job!   ..With love...Ruby!



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Kisplease
White Rabbit


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Oh, Tracy - way to work your program. This is such a marvelous example of how much things can change. You're doing a good job taking care of you.

Prayers, friend -


Summer


P.S. I think if you need to cry, you should cry ... in front of him or not. We get to where we hold in emotions that we have every right and reason to feel. Crying is okay.

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* White Rabbit *

I can't fix my broken mind with my broken mind.
maryjane


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P.S. I think if you need to cry, you should cry ... in front of him or not. We get to where we hold in emotions that we have every right and reason to feel. Crying is okay.
----------------
Ditto on this. Don't worry about him. Worry about yourself and how you will bust open like a big balloon if you don't let it out. They are YOUR emotions and you have the right to have them. His disease is his own to deal with. You can't always give him a soft landing.... that includes the fact that he is hurting you and he can know it. You don't have to have a big dramatic scene with him, but don't hide it from him.

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maryjane
youfoundme


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HUGS Tracy... Keep coming :)

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-youfoundme

Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me... 

 
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