Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Moon_Beam · Moon_Beam

So after spending hours pouring over everyone's stories and advice. I know this I want to have Christmas this year. I am ready for this massive step. All of my life holidays have been a fear of mine. I am my familys black sheep, and all but one of my mothers 5 siblings are alcoholics and substance abuser...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

It's easy to forget how important it is to continue working on ourselves during the peaceful times. That doesn't mean walking on eggshells waiting for the crisis to start anew, but it does mean staying focused on the things that help us to grow and resisting the urge to become complacent. We can &quo...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Well I have been to the psychologist for my 5th appointment. As I said last time, we have worked through emotions, what they are, how they present, identifying primary and secondary emotions. Now we are taking it one step further. Emotion exposure. Identifying the barriers and coping mechanisms th...

kris10 · kris10

So today is/was his payday... Gosh a part of me was really really hoping he would come and give me the money he owes me and say hes sorry and yada yada... Of course that is not what happen.. I can only guess what happen.. I have a pretty good idea.. I havent seen him since the morning I had to send him to jail.. H...

rehprof · rehprof

Today was one of those intense days of insight for me...I have been hurting so much, but learning too... I learned today that at times I use my "victim" status so that people will come to my rescue...why? I think I am only worthy of attention if I am sick, or down and out...people can't love me...

atheos · atheos

Poor shy little timid atheos, always acting like a victim... "My dad wasn't perfect and sometimes said mean things! WAH! WAH!" There are people who have been through far, far worse, so there's no excuse for feeling sorry for myself. But those victim-y feelings won't shut up and go away......

stephaniej · stephaniej

How does everyone handle this? My AH's emotional abuse has skyrocketed over the past couple of months. Then we had a lull for a couple of weeks. Now it's out of control again. Detaching is so hard for me right now. I want so much to be able to ATTACH, because I need his emotional support for so many thi...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My adult daughter and I haven't seen her dad (my AH) for several months. We decided together to invite him out for dinner tonight and made plans ahead of time about what would be "safe" topics to talk about with him and what topics we should try to avoid. We each brought a small gift for him for C...

LostMama31 · LostMama31

Hello. This is my first time on the message board. I've been wanting to go to an Al-Anon meeting but after my husband lost his job, we didn't have any money to have anyone watch my kids so I could go. Anyway, I'm looking for some advice, so-to-speak. My husband lost his job in June of this year. When that hap...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I am still around reading daily, but I wanted to post something that just hit me. Life on life's terms. What does it mean to you? I work at a newspaper and am at the front desk where many many people come in and want to tell their story and the newsroom won't listen to them, so they tell me if I have time to he...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I have this question that has been circling in my brain since Thursday night. I stated on Thanksgiving day to my AH that if he was upset with me he could discuss it with me when he was sober otherwise I would not stay and tolerate unacceptable behavior (although with him I don't think unacceptable behavi...

Pushka · Pushka

I have more days where I feel like I'm speaking a foreign language and going about it all wrong. It's so frustrating to say something, say what I mean and still feel like a complete moron because it's misunderstood. At what point am I not communicating effectively. It's on my list of things to address...

sookie · sookie

My recovering, AH who has moved out (3 months ago) so we can have some space came by yesterday, he wreaked of flowery-disgusting cologne or something...his eyes were blooshot and glossy and earlier a huge bouquet of flowers was delivered to our two girls (probably $60)...um, something seems off?! I...

TLD · TLD

So, my AH who was dry for over two weeks and attending AA meetings decided this week that he was only going to go if he felt the need. I just wanted to say "it's usually too late by then", but I didn't. Then yesterday he ends up going out for beer on the way home from work. I asked about his day and...

LostMama31 · LostMama31

I got a call from the police this morning saying they got a call from a neighbor of a possible alcohol overdose at our address. I'm in another state so I called his mother to ask if she would go to the house and let them in. That is when I discovered my AH was with her, who knows where, and that he was the one that...

rara avis · rara avis

Mini update: my ex RA has been complying with the stay away order [ far as I can tell ] and things have been calming down. Though to be honest I've been really really struggling with self esteem and the blues lately. The kicker: My attorney's office - and I've been hoping to end our contract - told me tha...

Doozy · Doozy

Well, I have not been on to post lately, but I do keep reading and checking in on this board frequently. I feel like I learn so much from this board and that I find so much wisdom, compassion and support here. I am often able to come here and redirect my thinking in a more positive direction and that feels gre...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Where do I begin? Well...reality is really hitting me right now. Hospice has been called in & my DAD doesn't have much time for sure as I found out yesterday after my last post. My sister is now his caregiver for sure. I am so relieved but very sad as you can imagine. I will use the tools as I have been lat...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

for a lovely weekend. This weekend was a bit of a test for myself. I went out on Sunday and left my husband at home. Doesn't sound like much does it. With my massive control issues, it was a biggie for me. Everytime I have left him alone he has been stoned or done things that he knows I dislike. Only recen...

1982Mel · 1982Mel

Hi everyone, I'm new to al anon. My husband has been and opiate addict for the past four years. The last two years have been the worst. He just finished up his 21 day stay in a rehab facility. Before he came home i told him that i wanted him to stay at our condo and our two daughters (6, and 3) here at our house...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

Yesterday I was really having difficulty in general; worrying about my AH and also just doubting my HP. I am not ashamed to say it because my HP and I worked it out last night ;) What a difference 24 hours makes!! I mean today I am seeing the world as that bright, vibrant place again. Everybody I pass I th...

12stepinKristi · 12stepinKristi

This is what I felt like saying at the "start" of my day. Approximately 24 hours ago, I was still wide awake trying to find some peace with my stuffiness and sore throat...I have a cold where you feel completely miserable and there is nothing that really a doctor can do, just rest and vitamin C...

serenityseeker1 · serenityseeker1

Hi all, I am new to this site and even alanon. I am an ex alcoholic myself, but I wouldn't say I was a recovering one as I have not been involved or used any sort of program,just been gripping on to get by. My sobriarty date is 13.06.2008. My bf is an addict and when we met he was in recovery. Last year my world ca...

debbiems · debbiems

My AS moved back into our house after 6 months of TX, he hasn't lived with us of 3 yrs. I failed by not setting boundries , our th house rules, what ever you want to call it before he moved back home. There are a few things that have came to our attention and now I am backed into a corner and heed to communicate...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

All I can say is that people need to LISTEN & LEARN! I am so grateful that I am becoming a better listener but today I just need to be heard. I am even unable to type what I am thinking! I just want to say that everyone should remember the reason for this season no matter what you believe. This time of year i...

LostMama31 · LostMama31

I've always gotten along with my husband's family. However, since I left, I feel like I get jabs by their statuses through Facebook all the time. I've gotten to where I don't even go on FB anymore because I can't take any more stress than I'm already under. I guess I shouldn't be all that surprised. It is h...

kael1539 · kael1539

My AH relapsed last night - he is not home and has been gone all night. I knew it was going to happen and did OK yesterday, spent a great day and night with the kids. AH tried to called twice and I could tell he was drinking. The first time I told him I couldn't talk bc I was getting the kids to bed. The 2nd call cam...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

When my AH was in rehab I had all the time in the world to work on myself. Now that he is out I find myself focusing on him far too often. It's a slippery slope I'm traveling down. I suppose I need to get reading some Al-Anon literature asap. I have to work late tonight so I can't go to a meeting. The more time I...

tired of trying · tired of trying

Does anyone have any experience with antidepressants-can the effects on the person taking have a similar effect as alcohol. MY AH just started taking for first time and the other day I though he was acting like he had been drinking (not drunk) but grinning and a little silly. Found no other signs that h...

confused76 · confused76

Three weeks ago we got the call we had all been dreading. We knew that our 16 year old son had been getting high we had tried everything but nothing worked. The call came from his school, he was found in school with drugs, this is when we had hit our bottom, by the next day we were on our way to take his to an impa...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha family...just gonna put out some thoughts and feelings I'm having at the moment. I'm edgy and anxious. Tomorrow starts the beginning of the "courting" dances I will be going thru until the problem with the police assault is done. I've been left alone with my thoughts and also ha...

Generic Writer · Generic Writer

My 16-year-old son was about to return home for his first visit from his residential treatment center (RTC). It had been a very long and difficult road for him. Like a bucking bronco, he fought every bit of the way. And continues. His defiance, like with most addicts, can best be summed up by Henny Y...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Here's some good food for thought, from Thought for Today's website: Something to strive for Remember, progress not perfection as you read. Working on Rebuilding Relationships Its easy to speak negatively when we do not like something about someone. We often react without thinking and beco...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

My AH and I attend the Saturday night service at our church. Every week we sit in about the same place. Last night I was picking my niece up from kid church and the man who always sits behind us introduced himself. He gave me a card addressed to the couple who always sits in front of me and told me not to lose it...

kris10 · kris10

Ok my head is going crazy with... Where is he? Is he ok? Is he alive? Is he sleeping on the street freezing to death?? He only has what is on his back... I feel the need to call every single one of his friends and just see if he is ok... I wanna scream..................

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I've lost so many people that I cared for in the past year it seems....my best grade school pal, my uncle, then a month ago my mom who was my mom, my dad and my best friend. There isn't five minutes that pass that I don't think about her. Everyone keeps saying it'll get easier with time, and every day gets h...

kris10 · kris10

I was looking threw papers that I had just piled up on my table... Bunch of old mail and school work from my son that I hadn't even looked at, or maybe just skimed threw... When I come across this home made thanksgiving book my son made in school... I was looking at all his little drawings he made in it... Tur...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I can't get on here very often so I will just say that I have so much more to say that I have to say! I am so frustrated w/ my mom. I love her & respect but my tolerance level is still very low. I am so in need of more meetings w/o her there. I went to two meetings that she wasn't at that I felt so much better when I...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

I have been to many AA meetings and been here before. Thanks to God and 12-Step Meetings, my husband is in recovery. However I know someone who has a relative that has been an alcoholic for many years with short recovery periods. He has been to hospitals, rehab, AA and therapy. Unfortunately, as we a...

debbiems · debbiems

so angry today at myself more than my 22 yrs old son. Yesterday started out great my son actually attended his first AA meeting after 6 months in treatment. I was so happy for him. then it all changed, he got a call from one of his "old" friends, asked for a ride to town ( we live out in the country)...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Yes, there are times when people get to me but they still have many reasons to rock! I am so grateful I want to cry! My life is so much richer & I am so blessed. I may be finalically blessed & that makes a difference but the truth is I am mostly blessed by the prescence of the good no great people that I h...

oldergal · oldergal

I wake up in the morning and have this precious time to ponder the days beginnings. My HP has graced me with the peace to be able to think freely in the quiet of the morning. These thoughts are deep and help me remember what is really important in life and to those I touch. I am grateful for that gift of quiet t...

oldergal · oldergal

"CIP" "Care in Progress. People are so caring and sincere on this website. No one can solve your issues, but they certainly hang in there with you and give you real encouragement to keep on moving and growing until you can see some light. I thank everyone for taking the time to respond...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I wish they had meetings here on Saturday nights.. why don't they? Its the number 1 drinking night. haha. Writing it out will suffice. I am in a good position but my husband is doing so well I find myself thinking about him far too much. When he talks about his progress and how he's doing in the program it r...

Bargee · Bargee

Why is it that every time this happens I'm surprised? Surprised how much it hurts, surprised how disipointed I am, surprised at how lonely I feel, how angry I feel, but most of all just how much it hurts? Will it hurt this much every time? Or do I become numb to it? Why does his drinking kill me so much? Is i...

Pushka · Pushka

I just really wanted to share this documentary movie by the name of "Buck", it's actually about the guy who Robert Redford based his character in "The Horse Whisperer" on. I can't remember the guy who wrote the book, however he spent a LOT of time with him as well, and the charact...

tired of trying · tired of trying

Ok-I'm pretty sure my AH who had been sober and going to meetings for the last month after another relaspe was drinking yesterday. In the past I have either ignored or confronted-both unsuccessful-from reading this board it appears I should act like nothing has happened-but to me that feels like den...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hi all. It's been too long. I've been without my computer for quite some time. I have been going to about one face to face meeting a week, definately not enough. Things were going pretty well for a while when I was concentrating whole heartedly on myself...then I got back into my disease and started focu...

bud · bud

Today, I came across this saying: "follow your heart, but take your brain with you". The dichotomy is striking; another exercise in simple, but not easy. I sat here running it through all situations, pinpointing the struggle to fear. For me it is an exercise in giving myself permissi...

12stepinKristi · 12stepinKristi

There are so many times that I wonder if I should be with my husband. He is sober and not abusive in any way. I just get so angry with his actions from the past. I know I need to -really- forgive him, and there are times when I think I have, but I just can't forget. He has lied to me so much during our dating and eve...

John · John

**Please note: I do not propose to endorse nor oppose any religious belief or religious value in my writings. Having researched and studied this subject of FAITH in somewhat depth, it is my belief based on this research that I could utilize any world religion to support and validate what I write. I...

atheos · atheos

During a discussion of how to handle a minor task at work, I disagreed with a co-worker and he started raising his voice and sounding angry with me... I spent the next half-hour in the bathroom crying. I *hate* that I'm so fragile stupid little things like this can set me off. I was really glad I was meetin...

Rematch-- · Rematch--

I'm codependant. My spouse of 2 yrs and 54 yrs old is divorcing me due to an irrational belief--a delusion that I was/am stalking her. She is menopausal, has depression, alcohol dependence, thinks now that we married too soon after her suicide attempt and sobriety. Her family used to like me and l...

debbiems · debbiems

So I am sicker than I thought. Now that I know I can not control my 22 yrs old AS. I am trying to control the way my husband deals with him. What in the heck is my problem. I never thought I was a control freak, wow I am alot sicker than I thought I was. So I am trying to take a good look at myself and see where this com...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

Michelle posted about relapse. Last night I tried to walk away and I was in the car and he absolutely would not let me leave. Yesterday was such a great day, I worked a 1/2 day then met my parents for lunch. I was able to get to the Tag office to change the registration on my car (6months later) and then got a te...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

So last night and this morning I completely lost my serenity. This morning I flipped out of my AH; yelling, telling him I hate him, wallowing in self pity over the fact that I married an addict/alcoholic, and telling him I wish I had never met him. Am I proud? I am so ashamed. But this slip has actually sh...

atheos · atheos

The co-worker who yelled at me yesterday apologized today. A *real* apology, not an "I'm feeling guilty so I'll say I'm sorry, but here's why it was your fault I yelled at you". I'm not sure I've *ever* gotten a real apology from someone who's blown up at me before. I wish it was acceptable to t...

debbiems · debbiems

I really don't know where to begin, but the day started out rough not will my 22 yr old AS just things in general. Not much food in the house, (my husband has been layed off of work for the last year) truck wouldn't start for me. So I had to call my sister in law for a ride. Work was tough! I guess in the back of my m...

John · John

We're on Step Two! Join us on the StepWork Board atstepwork.activeboard.comJust click on your group's step two area, read the chairpersons lead on the step, the responses/replies to it and then share your own experience, strength and hope on it.We will start on Step ThreeSunday, Dec. 25th, 2011...

Debi4vols · Debi4vols

I am currently seperated-3 months- from my RAH. He is 3 yrs sober. Drinking-wise he's not touched it..but his hateful, resentful personality stills lingers. When he's not complaining or passing judgement upon someone or telling me what i'm doing wrong..he doesn't say anything...totally diseng...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Choices this chirstmas (Preview) So after spending hours pouring over everyone's stories and advice. I know this I want to have Christmas this year. I am ready for this massive step. All of my life holidays have been a fear of mine. I am my familys black sheep, and all but one of my mothers 5 siblings are alcoholics and substance abuser...	Moon_Beam	4	422	Dec 22, 2011 by tommyecat
	peaceful times (Preview) It's easy to forget how important it is to continue working on ourselves during the peaceful times. That doesn't mean walking on eggshells waiting for the crisis to start anew, but it does mean staying focused on the things that help us to grow and resisting the urge to become complacent. We can &quo...	DadtoCandE	4	413	Dec 22, 2011 by tommyecat
	5th psych appointment (Preview) Well I have been to the psychologist for my 5th appointment. As I said last time, we have worked through emotions, what they are, how they present, identifying primary and secondary emotions. Now we are taking it one step further. Emotion exposure. Identifying the barriers and coping mechanisms th...	Lindaoakford	4	516	Dec 22, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Cant get this outa my head... (Preview) So today is/was his payday... Gosh a part of me was really really hoping he would come and give me the money he owes me and say hes sorry and yada yada... Of course that is not what happen.. I can only guess what happen.. I have a pretty good idea.. I havent seen him since the morning I had to send him to jail.. H...	kris10	7	640	Dec 22, 2011 by kris10
	Intense Insight (Preview) Today was one of those intense days of insight for me...I have been hurting so much, but learning too... I learned today that at times I use my "victim" status so that people will come to my rescue...why? I think I am only worthy of attention if I am sick, or down and out...people can't love me...	rehprof	8	580	Dec 22, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Feeling disgusted with myself (Preview) Poor shy little timid atheos, always acting like a victim... "My dad wasn't perfect and sometimes said mean things! WAH! WAH!" There are people who have been through far, far worse, so there's no excuse for feeling sorry for myself. But those victim-y feelings won't shut up and go away......	atheos	14	638	Dec 22, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Striking a balance between not taking abuse, and detaching (Preview) How does everyone handle this? My AH's emotional abuse has skyrocketed over the past couple of months. Then we had a lull for a couple of weeks. Now it's out of control again. Detaching is so hard for me right now. I want so much to be able to ATTACH, because I need his emotional support for so many thi...	stephaniej	9	947	Dec 22, 2011 by pinkchip
	Making Peace with my AH - One Day at a Time one day at a time (Preview) My adult daughter and I haven't seen her dad (my AH) for several months. We decided together to invite him out for dinner tonight and made plans ahead of time about what would be "safe" topics to talk about with him and what topics we should try to avoid. We each brought a small gift for him for C...	Green Eyes	2	3752	Dec 22, 2011 by Michelle814
	Alcoholic and dangerous situations unsafe scared dangerous supportive leaving (Preview) Hello. This is my first time on the message board. I've been wanting to go to an Al-Anon meeting but after my husband lost his job, we didn't have any money to have anyone watch my kids so I could go. Anyway, I'm looking for some advice, so-to-speak. My husband lost his job in June of this year. When that hap...	LostMama31	24	11815	Dec 22, 2011 by fgatling47
	Life on life's terms... (Preview) I am still around reading daily, but I wanted to post something that just hit me. Life on life's terms. What does it mean to you? I work at a newspaper and am at the front desk where many many people come in and want to tell their story and the newsroom won't listen to them, so they tell me if I have time to he...	youfoundme	8	1542	Dec 22, 2011 by hotrod
	When... (Preview) I have this question that has been circling in my brain since Thursday night. I stated on Thanksgiving day to my AH that if he was upset with me he could discuss it with me when he was sober otherwise I would not stay and tolerate unacceptable behavior (although with him I don't think unacceptable behavi...	Jackie11	10	529	Dec 22, 2011 by tired of trying
	Communication .. LOL!! (Preview) I have more days where I feel like I'm speaking a foreign language and going about it all wrong. It's so frustrating to say something, say what I mean and still feel like a complete moron because it's misunderstood. At what point am I not communicating effectively. It's on my list of things to address...	Pushka	13	659	Dec 21, 2011 by Pushka
	when you know something has happened... (Preview) My recovering, AH who has moved out (3 months ago) so we can have some space came by yesterday, he wreaked of flowery-disgusting cologne or something...his eyes were blooshot and glossy and earlier a huge bouquet of flowers was delivered to our two girls (probably $60)...um, something seems off?! I...	sookie	12	870	Dec 21, 2011 by pineapple
	Do you let one small slip go? (Preview) So, my AH who was dry for over two weeks and attending AA meetings decided this week that he was only going to go if he felt the need. I just wanted to say "it's usually too late by then", but I didn't. Then yesterday he ends up going out for beer on the way home from work. I asked about his day and...	TLD	13	677	Dec 21, 2011 by pinkchip
	Update to my situation... (Preview) I got a call from the police this morning saying they got a call from a neighbor of a possible alcohol overdose at our address. I'm in another state so I called his mother to ask if she would go to the house and let them in. That is when I discovered my AH was with her, who knows where, and that he was the one that...	LostMama31	12	636	Dec 21, 2011 by pinkchip
	He's baaaa-aaaaaack! :( (Preview) Mini update: my ex RA has been complying with the stay away order [ far as I can tell ] and things have been calming down. Though to be honest I've been really really struggling with self esteem and the blues lately. The kicker: My attorney's office - and I've been hoping to end our contract - told me tha...	rara avis	11	698	Dec 21, 2011 by orchidlover
	Keep going back to step one (Preview) Well, I have not been on to post lately, but I do keep reading and checking in on this board frequently. I feel like I learn so much from this board and that I find so much wisdom, compassion and support here. I am often able to come here and redirect my thinking in a more positive direction and that feels gre...	Doozy	3	393	Dec 21, 2011 by Michelle814
	facing reality! (Preview) Where do I begin? Well...reality is really hitting me right now. Hospice has been called in & my DAD doesn't have much time for sure as I found out yesterday after my last post. My sister is now his caregiver for sure. I am so relieved but very sad as you can imagine. I will use the tools as I have been lat...	Hoot Nanny	4	439	Dec 21, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Thankyou HP (Preview) for a lovely weekend. This weekend was a bit of a test for myself. I went out on Sunday and left my husband at home. Doesn't sound like much does it. With my massive control issues, it was a biggie for me. Everytime I have left him alone he has been stoned or done things that he knows I dislike. Only recen...	Lindaoakford	5	368	Dec 21, 2011 by amills4294
	My family is so broken right now. (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm new to al anon. My husband has been and opiate addict for the past four years. The last two years have been the worst. He just finished up his 21 day stay in a rehab facility. Before he came home i told him that i wanted him to stay at our condo and our two daughters (6, and 3) here at our house...	1982Mel	4	563	Dec 21, 2011 by sookie
	Yesterday's struggle, today's delight. (Preview) Yesterday I was really having difficulty in general; worrying about my AH and also just doubting my HP. I am not ashamed to say it because my HP and I worked it out last night ;) What a difference 24 hours makes!! I mean today I am seeing the world as that bright, vibrant place again. Everybody I pass I th...	Michelle814	4	843	Dec 21, 2011 by Doozy
	Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (Preview) This is what I felt like saying at the "start" of my day. Approximately 24 hours ago, I was still wide awake trying to find some peace with my stuffiness and sore throat...I have a cold where you feel completely miserable and there is nothing that really a doctor can do, just rest and vitamin C...	12stepinKristi	8	879	Dec 20, 2011 by rara avis
	newbie needing some direction!! (Preview) Hi all, I am new to this site and even alanon. I am an ex alcoholic myself, but I wouldn't say I was a recovering one as I have not been involved or used any sort of program,just been gripping on to get by. My sobriarty date is 13.06.2008. My bf is an addict and when we met he was in recovery. Last year my world ca...	serenityseeker1	5	587	Dec 20, 2011 by orchidlover
	Setting Boundries??? (Preview) My AS moved back into our house after 6 months of TX, he hasn't lived with us of 3 yrs. I failed by not setting boundries , our th house rules, what ever you want to call it before he moved back home. There are a few things that have came to our attention and now I am backed into a corner and heed to communicate...	debbiems	5	566	Dec 20, 2011 by orchidlover
	WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST LISTEN? (Preview) All I can say is that people need to LISTEN & LEARN! I am so grateful that I am becoming a better listener but today I just need to be heard. I am even unable to type what I am thinking! I just want to say that everyone should remember the reason for this season no matter what you believe. This time of year i...	Hoot Nanny	3	478	Dec 20, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	Dealing with family (Preview) I've always gotten along with my husband's family. However, since I left, I feel like I get jabs by their statuses through Facebook all the time. I've gotten to where I don't even go on FB anymore because I can't take any more stress than I'm already under. I guess I shouldn't be all that surprised. It is h...	LostMama31	10	564	Dec 20, 2011 by LostMama31
	How to detach correctly with relapse incident (Preview) My AH relapsed last night - he is not home and has been gone all night. I knew it was going to happen and did OK yesterday, spent a great day and night with the kids. AH tried to called twice and I could tell he was drinking. The first time I told him I couldn't talk bc I was getting the kids to bed. The 2nd call cam...	kael1539	9	850	Dec 20, 2011 by tired of trying
	Not Doing Too Well in the Moment (Preview) When my AH was in rehab I had all the time in the world to work on myself. Now that he is out I find myself focusing on him far too often. It's a slippery slope I'm traveling down. I suppose I need to get reading some Al-Anon literature asap. I have to work late tonight so I can't go to a meeting. The more time I...	Michelle814	14	671	Dec 20, 2011 by Breakingfree
	antidepressants (Preview) Does anyone have any experience with antidepressants-can the effects on the person taking have a similar effect as alcohol. MY AH just started taking for first time and the other day I though he was acting like he had been drinking (not drunk) but grinning and a little silly. Found no other signs that h...	tired of trying	7	626	Dec 20, 2011 by tired of trying
	New and very confused (Preview) Three weeks ago we got the call we had all been dreading. We knew that our 16 year old son had been getting high we had tried everything but nothing worked. The call came from his school, he was found in school with drugs, this is when we had hit our bottom, by the next day we were on our way to take his to an impa...	confused76	6	556	Dec 20, 2011 by pinkchip
	Its on my mind.... (Preview) Aloha family...just gonna put out some thoughts and feelings I'm having at the moment. I'm edgy and anxious. Tomorrow starts the beginning of the "courting" dances I will be going thru until the problem with the police assault is done. I've been left alone with my thoughts and also ha...	Jerry F	18	1071	Dec 20, 2011 by pinkchip
	Parent’s Handbook To Stop Home Visit AWOLs: Part II (Preview) My 16-year-old son was about to return home for his first visit from his residential treatment center (RTC). It had been a very long and difficult road for him. Like a bucking bronco, he fought every bit of the way. And continues. His defiance, like with most addicts, can best be summed up by Henny Y...	Generic Writer	3	597	Dec 20, 2011 by 12stepinKristi
	Thought for Today (Preview) Here's some good food for thought, from Thought for Today's website: Something to strive for Remember, progress not perfection as you read. Working on Rebuilding Relationships Its easy to speak negatively when we do not like something about someone. We often react without thinking and beco...	GailMichelle	5	4368	Dec 19, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Encouragement (Preview) My AH and I attend the Saturday night service at our church. Every week we sit in about the same place. Last night I was picking my niece up from kid church and the man who always sits behind us introduced himself. He gave me a card addressed to the couple who always sits in front of me and told me not to lose it...	Jackie11	8	428	Dec 19, 2011 by hotrod
	need ESH.... (Preview) Ok my head is going crazy with... Where is he? Is he ok? Is he alive? Is he sleeping on the street freezing to death?? He only has what is on his back... I feel the need to call every single one of his friends and just see if he is ok... I wanna scream..................	kris10	12	487	Dec 19, 2011 by sookie
	Ticked at my HP but sure He can take it...prayer request (Preview) I've lost so many people that I cared for in the past year it seems....my best grade school pal, my uncle, then a month ago my mom who was my mom, my dad and my best friend. There isn't five minutes that pass that I don't think about her. Everyone keeps saying it'll get easier with time, and every day gets h...	shellyj123	7	633	Dec 19, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Sometimes my HP slaps me in the face when I need it..... (Preview) I was looking threw papers that I had just piled up on my table... Bunch of old mail and school work from my son that I hadn't even looked at, or maybe just skimed threw... When I come across this home made thanksgiving book my son made in school... I was looking at all his little drawings he made in it... Tur...	kris10	6	421	Dec 19, 2011 by youfoundme
	so much more to say! (Preview) I can't get on here very often so I will just say that I have so much more to say that I have to say! I am so frustrated w/ my mom. I love her & respect but my tolerance level is still very low. I am so in need of more meetings w/o her there. I went to two meetings that she wasn't at that I felt so much better when I...	Hoot Nanny	2	498	Dec 19, 2011 by Jen
	HEALTHY RESPONSE??? (Preview) I have been to many AA meetings and been here before. Thanks to God and 12-Step Meetings, my husband is in recovery. However I know someone who has a relative that has been an alcoholic for many years with short recovery periods. He has been to hospitals, rehab, AA and therapy. Unfortunately, as we a...	wifeofalcoholic	5	650	Dec 18, 2011 by LostMama31
	Has all the tools for Sobriety (Preview) so angry today at myself more than my 22 yrs old son. Yesterday started out great my son actually attended his first AA meeting after 6 months in treatment. I was so happy for him. then it all changed, he got a call from one of his "old" friends, asked for a ride to town ( we live out in the country)...	debbiems	6	565	Dec 18, 2011 by LostMama31
	PEOPLE ROCK! (Preview) Yes, there are times when people get to me but they still have many reasons to rock! I am so grateful I want to cry! My life is so much richer & I am so blessed. I may be finalically blessed & that makes a difference but the truth is I am mostly blessed by the prescence of the good no great people that I h...	Hoot Nanny	3	467	Dec 18, 2011 by pineapple
	Grateful (Preview) I wake up in the morning and have this precious time to ponder the days beginnings. My HP has graced me with the peace to be able to think freely in the quiet of the morning. These thoughts are deep and help me remember what is really important in life and to those I touch. I am grateful for that gift of quiet t...	oldergal	3	402	Dec 18, 2011 by pineapple
	If I Could Rename This Site It Would Be (Preview) "CIP" "Care in Progress. People are so caring and sincere on this website. No one can solve your issues, but they certainly hang in there with you and give you real encouragement to keep on moving and growing until you can see some light. I thank everyone for taking the time to respond...	oldergal	5	432	Dec 18, 2011 by pineapple
	Quiet Saturday Night (Preview) I wish they had meetings here on Saturday nights.. why don't they? Its the number 1 drinking night. haha. Writing it out will suffice. I am in a good position but my husband is doing so well I find myself thinking about him far too much. When he talks about his progress and how he's doing in the program it r...	Michelle814	4	535	Dec 18, 2011 by Michelle814
	Why am I surprised? (Preview) Why is it that every time this happens I'm surprised? Surprised how much it hurts, surprised how disipointed I am, surprised at how lonely I feel, how angry I feel, but most of all just how much it hurts? Will it hurt this much every time? Or do I become numb to it? Why does his drinking kill me so much? Is i...	Bargee	13	597	Dec 18, 2011 by likemyheart
	Buck - OT (Preview) I just really wanted to share this documentary movie by the name of "Buck", it's actually about the guy who Robert Redford based his character in "The Horse Whisperer" on. I can't remember the guy who wrote the book, however he spent a LOT of time with him as well, and the charact...	Pushka	3	526	Dec 18, 2011 by Jen
	relaspe ESH (Preview) Ok-I'm pretty sure my AH who had been sober and going to meetings for the last month after another relaspe was drinking yesterday. In the past I have either ignored or confronted-both unsuccessful-from reading this board it appears I should act like nothing has happened-but to me that feels like den...	tired of trying	12	479	Dec 18, 2011 by tired of trying
	Good to be back (Preview) Hi all. It's been too long. I've been without my computer for quite some time. I have been going to about one face to face meeting a week, definately not enough. Things were going pretty well for a while when I was concentrating whole heartedly on myself...then I got back into my disease and started focu...	Corgi2	5	553	Dec 17, 2011 by ythannah
	"Follow your heart, but take your brain with you" (Preview) Today, I came across this saying: "follow your heart, but take your brain with you". The dichotomy is striking; another exercise in simple, but not easy. I sat here running it through all situations, pinpointing the struggle to fear. For me it is an exercise in giving myself permissi...	bud	5	1238	Dec 17, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Venting my grief (Preview) There are so many times that I wonder if I should be with my husband. He is sober and not abusive in any way. I just get so angry with his actions from the past. I know I need to -really- forgive him, and there are times when I think I have, but I just can't forget. He has lied to me so much during our dating and eve...	12stepinKristi	3	473	Dec 17, 2011 by abbyal
	The Umbrella of Faith (Part III) (Preview) **Please note: I do not propose to endorse nor oppose any religious belief or religious value in my writings. Having researched and studied this subject of FAITH in somewhat depth, it is my belief based on this research that I could utilize any world religion to support and validate what I write. I...	John	4	503	Dec 17, 2011 by bud
	Bad day (better after a meeting) (Preview) During a discussion of how to handle a minor task at work, I disagreed with a co-worker and he started raising his voice and sounding angry with me... I spent the next half-hour in the bathroom crying. I hate that I'm so fragile stupid little things like this can set me off. I was really glad I was meetin...	atheos	7	671	Dec 17, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	Delusional disorder and dry drunk--need a sponsor mental illness persecutory delusion delusional disorder menopause fear of intimacy sponsor. (Preview) I'm codependant. My spouse of 2 yrs and 54 yrs old is divorcing me due to an irrational belief--a delusion that I was/am stalking her. She is menopausal, has depression, alcohol dependence, thinks now that we married too soon after her suicide attempt and sobriety. Her family used to like me and l...	Rematch--	18	1720	Dec 17, 2011 by Rematch--
	Sicker Than I Thought (Preview) So I am sicker than I thought. Now that I know I can not control my 22 yrs old AS. I am trying to control the way my husband deals with him. What in the heck is my problem. I never thought I was a control freak, wow I am alot sicker than I thought I was. So I am trying to take a good look at myself and see where this com...	debbiems	6	618	Dec 17, 2011 by Michelle814
	Writing it out (Preview) Michelle posted about relapse. Last night I tried to walk away and I was in the car and he absolutely would not let me leave. Yesterday was such a great day, I worked a 1/2 day then met my parents for lunch. I was able to get to the Tag office to change the registration on my car (6months later) and then got a te...	Jackie11	7	557	Dec 17, 2011 by Michelle814
	Relapsed (Preview) So last night and this morning I completely lost my serenity. This morning I flipped out of my AH; yelling, telling him I hate him, wallowing in self pity over the fact that I married an addict/alcoholic, and telling him I wish I had never met him. Am I proud? I am so ashamed. But this slip has actually sh...	Michelle814	10	578	Dec 17, 2011 by Michelle814
	Wow, that was... new. And nice! (Preview) The co-worker who yelled at me yesterday apologized today. A real apology, not an "I'm feeling guilty so I'll say I'm sorry, but here's why it was your fault I yelled at you". I'm not sure I've ever gotten a real apology from someone who's blown up at me before. I wish it was acceptable to t...	atheos	2	402	Dec 17, 2011 by Pushka
	Bad day getting worse (Preview) I really don't know where to begin, but the day started out rough not will my 22 yr old AS just things in general. Not much food in the house, (my husband has been layed off of work for the last year) truck wouldn't start for me. So I had to call my sister in law for a ride. Work was tough! I guess in the back of my m...	debbiems	8	693	Dec 17, 2011 by debbiems
	Step Two on Step Work Board! Join us! (Preview) We're on Step Two! Join us on the StepWork Board atstepwork.activeboard.comJust click on your group's step two area, read the chairpersons lead on the step, the responses/replies to it and then share your own experience, strength and hope on it.We will start on Step ThreeSunday, Dec. 25th, 2011...	John	0	405	Dec 17, 2011 by John
	Recovering Alcoholic Husband (Preview) I am currently seperated-3 months- from my RAH. He is 3 yrs sober. Drinking-wise he's not touched it..but his hateful, resentful personality stills lingers. When he's not complaining or passing judgement upon someone or telling me what i'm doing wrong..he doesn't say anything...totally diseng...	Debi4vols	10	734	Dec 17, 2011 by 12stepinKristi
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