New upset member - Al-Anon Family Group

mketcher1 · Newbie

New upset member

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Dear Megan

Welcome to MIP

I am so sorry that the this problem is causing so much pain in your life.. Alanon is a fantastic fellowship that holds Face to face meetings in every community and addresses many important tools to use while living with alcoholism.

It is important to break the isolation and connect with others who are walking this path and learning to live with serenity, courage and wisdom.We believe that alcoholism is a disease and that we did not cause it cannot control it and cannot cure it. In order to improve our lives we must change and develop new constructive tools to live by. The meetings can be found in the white pages of the telephone directory

This is a simple program for complicated people Please keep coming back and sharing You are not alone.

tommyecat · ~*Service Worker*~

For me Alanon was not the place I wanted to go but it was the place I needed to be. Today I look back on going to my first meeting and I can see how the program has been the greatest gift to me in my life. For newcomers it is suggested that you try 6 or more meetings as close together as possible before making a decision as to whether or not Alanon is right for you.

When I started I never talked in the room, just passed and said I was there to listen and learn. I think I did that for a few months before I felt strong enough to share about the drinking that was going on in my home. There is something magical going on in the rooms of Alanon. What is shared is experience, strength and hope, not advice giving. There is a take what you like and leave the rest attitude which for me was such a blessing. In my family it was always the opposite, you should do XYZ and do it perfectly attitude which never worked for me.

I am so glad you posted today. I appreciate the opportunity to welcome you to the forum. Please continue to share and get to know us better.

In support,

Tommye

danni · Senior Member

Welcome! This sounds very familiar to me. My AH and I have a 2 and 5 year old. I'm glad you found us here. Al Anon meetings were such a relief for me to help deal with the embarrassment, shame, frustration and anger. I'm sorry you are having to go through this, especially with a little one, but I am glad you have reached out for help. You are not alone! Sending you lots of support this morning.

ladysoblue · Veteran Member

Hi Megan, welcome to a good place.

I also told my husband (just over a month ago) for the first time ever that "It's the bottle or us", which was one of the hardest things I've had to do.

I'm glad that you have found this board. I come here often just to read things, and it has been such a major, incredible comfort to me. I hope that you come back often. I think you'll find it helps a lot.

Sending you 'cyber-hugs'!

Michelle814 · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Megan! I am truly finding serenity and this board is one major aspect of that progress. I hope reading and posting helps you too. I gave my husband a few ultimatums haha but I have come to the realization that I have to just stay in this moment, today. Thinking ahead and worrying drove me insane.. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Now I've put the focus where it belongs.. ON ME, and wouldn't you know... I'm worth it. Amazing. Welcome and glad to 'meet' you.

Bargee · Veteran Member

Hi Megan,

I can fully relate to what you are going through. I too am new here. Our first baby is due in about 8 weeks and after nearly 9 months of being sober my husband has decided "he's sick of struggling" (his words).
I don't know what to do. I have left him before, but I always end up back because I love him so much. But it just kills me what the alcohol does to him and to me and to us and now there is the baby.
I'm so scared and confused and hurt. I can't sleep or think and Christmas is a huge thing in my family and I so wanted this last Christmas of it being "just us" to be perfect.
I can't talk to him cause he's so angry and defensive and I just end up crying and it just turns into a huge fight.
Anyway sorry didn't mean to dump on your post, just wanted to say that I feel your pain. I have no advice sorry as I too am seeking advice and support.
All the best sunshine.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.