The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I had so much to say today but I managed to lose my post. I guess maybe the post was for me. I hope someday that I can recreate what I said to all of you if it seems like the right time.
It just basically said where my heart was at the time & all the realizations that I had this last week & especially last night. Maybe I need to bring all this up when I not so much in the moment. I am so overwhelmed. I am not sure where I am going to go from here.
Now I feel kind of insecure but life will go on. I will probably do what is in front of me & go on w/ my day. I have a day planned that should keep me occupied enough that I will get over losing what I really wanted to say.
I just have to remember that not all that I say needs to be heard.
My dad was however a big part of my sharing that did not make the post I lost. It seemed so right tell you all what happened last night. I guess it lost it's flavor because of my not being able to save the post. Even so, I will just say that a DAD knows when HIS children need something & my HP knows when I need that same thing. I needed to be shown some things that I might not have seen if I didn't get this card that my DAD sent that said: Things don't make Christmas, people do--even w/o the check in it, I would have got the message.
I will go on & find my way back today. I had such a positive mind-set when I first sat down to type. I hope it comes back. I guess it will. I won't obsess anymore on why things happen, just that they do.
The program is my life--I have to give of myself & remember that God doesn't make junk! I am worthy. I am able. I will get through.
I am working on cleaning not just my physical house but getting my other house in order. Wish me luck in both of these endeavours.
In the meantime, I will be positive again & get some rest! I need it!
I know you have the tools to let your HP guide you through these things. I am so proud of you. It is awesome to see the growth in you these past few years.
I have had the lost post happen to me, too. It is very aggravating, but I agree that maybe it happens for a reason. Only HP knows what I need and sometimes maybe it is just to get it out, not necessarily for anyone else to hear/read. Or maybe I just need another small reminder about letting go. I don't know, but I know how it feels, so you are not alone.
__________________
~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
