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High functioning AH ... feel alone.
(Preview)
My AH has been a heavy drinker since we met 12 years ago. I always thought it was because we were young and having fun. We had our first child and I noticed he still drank, a lot. We had another child. He still drank a lot. But he never drank where it interfered with work or where anyone else knew about it...
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CWren
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15
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581
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Do you know where to find this?
(Preview)
Hi, I'm looking for something I read awhile ago. It spoke about; Sometimes the answer to our Prayers is to "Wait" & that "God is Working on Something" I don't know if it is 1 or 2 readings. I think it's either in: ODAT, COURAGE TO CHANGE or AS WE UNDERSTAND I can't find it anyw...
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kickster
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2
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348
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Afraid
(Preview)
This is the 1st time I've acutally reached out and spoke- about the pain, frustration, and fear I've felt for years. My AH and I've been married 13yrs, two beautiful kids but the drinking has been the dark cloud hanging over us. The past year has by far been the best, only because I did quit trying to cont...
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Hope2000
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7
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406
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Rock Logic
(Preview)
I'm in my second marriage. By the time I married my first wife, I'd been in intimate relationships with maybe 6 women. I was married to her for 18 years. I was only unfaithful twice so that makes a total of eight relationships. I was single for 4 years. By the time I met my second wife I had made up for lost tim...
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Wolfie55
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6
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530
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Please Daddy Don't Cry
(Preview)
One day a young girl asked her daddy if they could go for a walk in the park like they used to do. Her daddy said, "not now princess I'm very busy." He wasnt really busy, he was drinking. Next day the young girl asked her daddy if they could go to the circus like they used to do. Her daddy said, "...
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Wolfie55
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4
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450
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Look before you leap
(Preview)
The ex A was and will be the last relationship where I jump in and then blame him for not being who I needed. My lifelong pattern has been to rush into relationships believing that any relationship I have will be changed by the superhuman force of my love. Granted there are many things in my life I can't cha...
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orchidlover
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6
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356
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He's encouraging me? That's a switch!
(Preview)
So everything's going really great! He's clean and sober for close to 4 months now. He's eating healthy and working out because he started gaining weight after quitting everything. He's excited his blood pressure is down and he just wants to a better, healthier person. Well that used to be my thing...
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stefani74
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5
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368
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Emotionally exhausted
(Preview)
Exhausting conversation with AH. I am reminding myself not to fight my HP's plan. Surprise endings: my HP's speciality (thanks Pushka!). Hey, HP, this better be one helluva a happy ending because right now it just sucks. I keep reminding myself there is something greater than myself. There is a big...
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Very Very Tired
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13
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725
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ESH needed please
(Preview)
Well, I have been going to Al-Anon meetings and I have discovered that everything that you are not suppose to do when you are married to an A. I did. I feel bad about that and I have already filed for divorce. However, I don't really want a divorce. I love my husband and married him with forever in mind....
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ttpurtee
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7
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405
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Took a long, hard look at my motives
(Preview)
Tonight I noticed that one corner of our apartment smells like beer. Obviously, either my AH or his friend, who had been staying with us, spilled some beer over there. We are moving out of this apartment in a week. Our new place does not have carpetl Oooo, I so wanted to send a text message to my AH. I e...
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stephaniej
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8
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346
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What to talk about?
(Preview)
I have a 26 y.o. daughter who lives with an alcoholic. I suspect she is one also. Her boyfriend just lost his job due to drinking and was ordered to undergo in-patient treatment. He has not done so. I talk to my daughter and we just talk about superficial things. Sometimes I think I don't really know...
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robind78
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4
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573
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the one little Al Anon saying......
(Preview)
Court went fine, ez. Tenant made a fool of himself, when it was over he owed me money and was livid. He argued with the judge, showed he was lying about one thing after another. When my friends asked me,"What made him argue, and how come he cannot see the damage he has done." thank you al anon. &q...
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Debilyn
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6
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363
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The Queen of Mistakes
(Preview)
About a month or so ago I wrote an email to my brother explaining to him the circumstances that my spouse was moving back home and that I was doing it primarily for our daughter... I guess at the time I felt I had the need to justify my decision and of course Im sure I shed my spouse not in the best of light. My b...
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amills4294
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10
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578
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On the Subject of Trust
(Preview)
Bernie here. Grateful member of Al-Anon for 16 years and recovered alcoholic of 14 years, whichever you prefer. I do a lot of sponsorship. I used to be old school, you know, men sponsor men, women sponsor women, but lately I don't much care what your gender is. If you're willing to do the work, I'm willin...
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TwistedServant
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6
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465
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Celebrating Every Day Victories
(Preview)
I feel proud of myself this morning... and happy... I feel very happy: My husband said goodbye to me this morning and I felt an urge to ask if he was going to his outpatient group, but I did not say a word, because it is none of my business. He ended up saying he was headed there on his own to me.. Then he talked...
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Michelle814
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6
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366
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Locked Cell Phone
(Preview)
Things have been quiet since the last outburst. I have been trying to focus on myself. He has been fairly quiet and agreeable. Then last night, I get home from work, he says he is really tired and going to bed at 6pm (usually a sign he has been drinking), I don't comment on it, tell him to get some rest. Whil...
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surfgirl123
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4
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399
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Thanks For Prayers & Support
(Preview)
Thank you all for your Prayers & Support Test came back NO Cancer . But I do have to have surgery to remove a tumor that is non-cancer. So relieved inhale, exhale. Peace & Love DEB
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peacewithin
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6
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262
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It's all ****ed up... (ESH needed)
(Preview)
The phrase (that I wanted to put in a work email, but didn't) "Never before has a job made me feel so much like jumping off a parking structure" sums up the last month quite nicely. I would NEVER actually do it, but the fact that there was an afternoon where I looked over the rail and thought &quo...
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atheos
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7
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497
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Carrying My Mat
(Preview)
Hi (((Family))), I got a little deeper bit of understanding this Sunday morning, sitting in a meeting of my "other" program. The priest was sharing about a story of Jesus healing a paralytic person who was carried to Him by his family. Jesus heals the paralytic person then tells him to, s...
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david62
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8
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433
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It works if you work it...
(Preview)
Last night right as I was arriving home from job 2 I received a text from my MIL. She was talking about how she needed to change her views and stop being so judgemental. How she needs to change some things and basically asking that we pray for her. She sends these type texts to me, my AH and my SIL sometimes an...
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Jackie11
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6
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338
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F2F Alanon meetings
(Preview)
really really enjoyed my f2f alanon meeting last night. I can't even begin to tell you how much I enjoyed it. I would take up the rest of message boards. I felt a lot of peace at the meeting. Unbelieveable!! I felt less crazy! which is always a good thing. I feel like texting my AH and telling him...
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ttpurtee
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7
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330
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How to handle family dynamics?
(Preview)
So I talked to my sister who I haven't talked to in a few months. I fear she may be developing an alcohol problem just as so many of my other family members have-she recently told my other sister that she is a functioning alcoholic and laughed about it. I have been working on detaching and using the sloga...
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daisy31
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7
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419
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3x5 Roller Coaster Ride
(Preview)
I can humbly accept God's will for me now. I feel it flowing through me now. I can put my hands up and enjoy the roller coaster ride that is life as I know it, which is not much. At my home group last Thursday, a dear friend I have made in the program happened upon a 3x5 index card holding the page for one of the...
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Michelle814
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7
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620
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Whitney Houston and understanding addiction as a disease.
(Preview)
I got into a "discussion" on facebook today with a person who was posting hate posts about Whitney Houston and how we were giving her more attention than she deserved. This person was pointing out how we as a country needed to get our priorites straight and value and recognize our fallen sol...
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Overcome
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11
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855
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The beloved addict in my life
(Preview)
I sat here for a long time staring at the smilie box and the empty text box. Here I am, about to write an Al-Anon family group post about someone in my life who is an addict beginning recovery. This is not what I thought I'd be doing on November 17, 2011. I don't know what I figured I would be doing, but you kno...
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Skylark
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14
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643
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Major Slip
(Preview)
I decided to go watch a movie with my exAH last night. I have't spent much time with him and we both love and miss each other. When I got to his house he was already well into his drinking night and well it went down hill from there. He was trying to make me confess how our marriage ending had very little to do wi...
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flopadopilus
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14
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670
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So depressed
(Preview)
My brother has ruined my life. I could write you a book right now.....I am very angry and depressed right now....mentally, physical and financially. I never know how bad things were until just recently. It's his attitude that's a killer. He does no wrong, he's nasty, and for some reason I think he thin...
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Beyondsick
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8
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517
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Re-reading posts
(Preview)
I was just going through some of my older posts on here as I am experiencing some familiar pain. As I read my own words, it brought me back to where I was when I wrote them...it hurts to see where I was and it hurts even more to see how little has changed in the lives of my alcoholics. However, Im proud to say tha...
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Corgi2
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6
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326
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googled my name
(Preview)
and it led straight to this site. Few other things first, a couple of them me, a couple not me. I understand that I can't change the name so I will be deleting this profile and starting a new one. See you all soon in a new name. I don't know how it got to be my real name, I am not good with computers and stuff and I j...
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Lindaoakford
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5
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479
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"God specializes in surprise endings"
(Preview)
Ahhhhh Pushka...HP needed an instrument to work with me today and you were it!! Bet you didn't even know. This is what I read this morning before going out into the day...Wasn't in a very good mental, emotional, spiritual or physical place cause the worry and fear and past and future were having the...
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Jerry F
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8
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619
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The X meth addict in my life & his new Legal addiction
(Preview)
Not the best Subject header but it's what it is .. I have a small daughter with my X partner of 11 years; he was clean for some time but is using a Legal Substance.. For the 3rd week in a row he has blown off his visitation with our daughter .. He's called week after week from unavailable phones and when we don'...
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MeTwo2
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8
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585
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Exhausting birthday dinner
(Preview)
My oldest turned 14 and she wanted a family party. So I invited the exAH and his enabling parents over for dinner. My exFIL helped me cook in the kitchen which is normal and nice, while cooking he was asking me questions that I was uncomfortable answering, so I gently answered vaguely. My exMIL showed up...
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Breakingfree
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7
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322
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Returning to MIP
(Preview)
Been away for a while. Back now. See you in the meetings and no doubt I'll tell a few stories about why I haven't been here or why I came back. Who knows.
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TwistedServant
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5
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352
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Question about Recovery's Ups and Downs
(Preview)
Is this common. I believe one of the readers either today or yesterday talked about it and it really spoke to me. In al-anon recovery its like waves. I will feel really hopeful and like I am making progress and then I will plummet. Nose dive back into my old ways and struggle. I also get like my brain is in o...
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Michelle814
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18
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517
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Lunch For Two
(Preview)
Got a funny story. Got to share it with you. It happened a few weeks ago. I've already mentioned in other posts that sponsorship is a big part of my program. And although I know men are supposed to sponsor men and women are supposed to sponsor women, I sponsor anyone who's willing to do the work required to...
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TwistedServant
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2
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382
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What Would I Do?
(Preview)
As I am going through the mental process of deciding whether to stay or go from my AH, I have started to think to myself "what would I do, or be doing, if he was not around?", funny thing is I often can't come up with anything. My life has become so small dealing with him that I really don't know wha...
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surfgirl123
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7
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406
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I found out thursday
(Preview)
When this older couple came up for a visit, they came to tell me my dear friend, yes the 3rd one, has a bad cancer. She, my mother and I were were and are very close. She helped Mother so much when she was dying of b cancer. I know she did not let me know becuz she knows what we went thru with mother. this last thre...
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Debilyn
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7
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368
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Speaking up on boundaries
(Preview)
Though we're divorced, thankfully it was amicable... my exAH and I still keep in touch occasionally (like maybe once a month or every few months). The other day I got to feel and come to an awareness on where I currently draw the line in our contact with one another. The hardest part of that for me was voca...
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Aloha
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2
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410
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I will read but not post for a while
(Preview)
HI guys I have been on these boards for about 7 months now. That is a really short time. It has helped me alot but I fear it is becoming SUCH a part of my life that I spend hours here. Every day of the week I am here. I spend hours here when I am at work and don't get things done at work. I have shared much of my jo...
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Lindaoakford
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8
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423
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starting over
(Preview)
The last few days have been tough for me. I've been struggling, and know I've slipped in my recovery. This morning I was thinking of RLC and remembered that he used to remind me that the great thing about this program is that we can start over any time we need to. SO, I'm starting over this morning. I'm goin...
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pineapple
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7
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373
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Please God, Show Me What To Do
(Preview)
This is a story about step eleven. its not really an al-anon story. but its a good story and like all good stories it has a moral, and I like the way I tell it. One day I was walking along the beach after a meeting. I saw an old man walking toward me. Every so often, he would kneel down, pick something up and st...
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TwistedServant
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2
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574
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Confused & Disappointed
(Preview)
Well, the ABF got so drunk on Monday that I woke up at 1:30 am to my phone ringing - him screaming at me as to why I locked the doors. Because I'm home alone with 2kids and honestly didn't want him in our home (home is in my name). He got in, he continued screaming at me but I couldn't really understand what he wa...
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Ariel
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8
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505
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Anybody feel this way about AlAnon Meetings
(Preview)
I know that people have been tremendously helped through the meetings of Al-Anon. I don't doubt their success. I have gone to quite a few meetings over the last few years, however, I feel lousy when I leave. I kept pursuing them thinking the dynamics change and people attending change, however, i...
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wifeofalcoholic
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6
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715
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Step Bosrd
(Preview)
http://stepwork.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=42763
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hotrod
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1
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285
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Perspective
(Preview)
I feel so grateful tonight. I feel such gratitude for all the friends I have made living this new way of life. I thought life would be dull when I first entered the room. I was afraid to change from my old ways. What I have learned is that life is so full of surprises and my HP really knows how to put things all...
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Michelle814
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3
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390
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Serenity Prayer
(Preview)
I have to admit I don't know what I would do without that prayer as well as the Lord's Prayer. I say the serenity prayer so very often. When it helps me is in the morning, when ever I feel the urge to control (well that can be what .. 50x a day?!), at night before I go to bed, and when I wake at night, which is get...
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Pushka
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4
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641
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F2F Al-Anon Meetings
(Preview)
I have not started Al-Anon meetings, but I was wondering if and when a person does are there people there that you could get together with one day in the week? Or you could call on the phone or whatever? I just wondered because my life was turned up side down due to alcoholism and at first I had HORRIBLE anx...
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ttpurtee
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5
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311
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Uplifting Quote
(Preview)
I've been a very busy lady recently, .. lol .. and I have time on my hands every other weekend I was out for an early morning drive. Well, been down this street a million times passing this church with it's electric billboard sign and son of a gun .. the best quote ever jumped out and it was such a God thing fo...
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Pushka
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6
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414
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Letting go of my 2 a/a's!
(Preview)
Hi! I started writing this yesterday, was unable to finish it until today. My 2 adult children are a/a's, I 've been in al-anon for 10+yrs. and I still struggle with the letting go part. Today I was thinking I could do it if I lived in a different city I could do it, then I wouldn't have to see or think of th...
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Highlyfavored
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1
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332
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Today's Meditation
(Preview)
This was in my husband's Twenty Four Hours a Day Book, I just happened to pick it up and thought it was great and I should share it here "I will link up my frail nature with the limitless Divine Power. I will link my life with the Divine Force for Good in the world. It is not the passionate appeal that g...
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Michelle814
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0
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263
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as I heal, I grow!
(Preview)
The truth is is that I am healing slowly. I am not sure what is going on w/ me except that I will grow through this experience & maybe give a little of it to others. I am not sure if I will heal today, tomorrow or sometime in the future but I am determined to not let pain get me down! Sometimes I just feel like...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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303
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Could use a little support
(Preview)
AH just walked out. Mad about... well, mad about whatever turmoil is his. I didn't argue. I remainded calm. I said one thing I shouldn't have. I apologized. I calmly spoke my truth: "I'm afraid of you and what you have become." I'm calm. Quiet. Increasing my conscious contact with my HP. My s...
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Very Very Tired
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13
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394
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I need help trying to figure out what to do
(Preview)
I will make this brief. My AH was under the influence tonight. I have stopped asking if he is, because he lies. He said he was going to make a phone call, but then called someone else. I asked which friend he was going to call since he has a few friends by that same first name. He totally forgot that h...
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wifeofalcoholic
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9
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539
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Telling the kids
(Preview)
Many of you have mentioned that I should let AH tell our son about what is going on. Son is asking questions, though. He stayed with a friend for 5 hours today and he asked what we were out doing and I told him that it was a thing for dad that I had to help him with. He asked what it was and I said you have to ask y...
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ilovedogs
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6
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332
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Chatroom Friday what?
(Preview)
Chatroom is telling me it's under construction. What? lol Will be good to break down the door soon :) wp
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wp
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1
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236
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He got an extreme DUI
(Preview)
AH was pulled over for running a red light and failure to drive in one lane. The breathalyzer test read .179 and he did submit to a blood test, too. Thank God he didn't hurt anyone else on the road. They impounded his car, took his license and it looks like it's suspended for 90 days right now. I believe...
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ilovedogs
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16
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574
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AH 2 years clean and sober today
(Preview)
2 yrs clean and sober today......he is living 8 blocks away, having an affair and abandoning his kids. My son went to school again with no breakfast and no lunch money. He is posting on fb how proud he is of his accompishments and what a better person he is...and I am sad that he does not even care to celebr...
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wantinganswers
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9
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657
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Al-Anon Couples meetings
(Preview)
I was wondering if anyone knows of meetings for 'couples' in either Al-Anon or AA. My partner has been sober for 9 years but we need help with other issues directly related.
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Isabella
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3
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7128
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My Pattern Repeating itself, AGAIN!
(Preview)
I am currently a little over a year into my 3rd marriage. The pattern is repeating itself yet again. In each case, they had drinking/controlling issues. Seems that I was okay with it in the beginning, but as time went on it became more and more unacceptable to me. I confronted and demanded changes,...
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Sally
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20
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595
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Missed my meeting, came home to a drunk
(Preview)
UGH! I had to miss my meeting tonight because my mom is in town and I had to take her to another city for an accordion meeting(she performs in an accordion orchestra). Anyway, I came home, pulled in the garage, and there is a full empty bottle of wine on the front seat and a half drunk cup of wine in the cuph...
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ilovedogs
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8
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386
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