Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Shunned · Shunned

I grew up in an extremely dysfunctional family and while no one was an alcoholic, there was drug abuse among other things that went on. I'm in therapy now and my therapist, recommended I come here so that I see I'm not alone. For as far back as I can remember, and Im 41 now, my life has always been hard. Thes...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.One thing that Al-Anon has given me and continues to give me over time is clarity. Clarity in my thoughts and clarity in situations. Over my time in Al-Anon I found I have been able to now distinguish which relationships in my life are health...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Hi guys, I typed this up on a word document for myself but changed it so I could address it here. We had our 4th session with MT number 2. Some good things are coming out of it, some bad. Basically, I'm seeing my part and seeing where I am unwilling to accept a lot of his character traits and behaviors that ha...

avid · avid

I first heard this phrase at an alanon meeting just the other day. I understand detachment, and I understand love, But I have no experience with doing both at the same time. Cany anyone share how one goes about doing this. Seriously, I am totally clueless. thank you so much.

maire rua · maire rua

I've just had to re-learn these, having been in turmoil for a number of months. No I can't control it, No I didn't cause it, No I can't cure it. This includes those who do not tax their car, get certificate of roadworthiness, my son's school life, my son's criminal activity in the past, people he has hurt i...

Sam813 · Sam813

I just thought I'd share something positive that has happened this past week. I got out of the way of my A brother, I didn't budge, I didn't enable him. I gave him love and detatched as best I could these past 4 months. He has been homeless and has called me numerous times asking for help. During those t...

Sincerely · Sincerely

There is an alanon 12 step retreat in my city next weekend. There is absolutely NOTHING stopping me from going. I'm just a little freaked out by sharing a room with someone. I will request a single room, but if it is unavailable, i don't know if i want to go. I went to my first face to face this sunday. ...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Want to laugh now more than I wanted to kill him then. Story; I'm at work leaf blowing the parking lot and I feel a bump on my back on the leaf blower motor. I turn to the right and there is a large Ford pickup going past me inches from my shoulder. He tried to drive past me in a smaller than truck space ra...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I know this is something no one can answer for me. Im more thinking out loud and venting, I guess? My seven yr old knows the cycle with my AH as well as I do it seems. A lil background here. I adopted my son when he was 22 months old. His birth mother was an addict during pregnancy, after pregnancy and eventual...

glad lee · glad lee

I have been in communication with my ex AH recently, due to the fact that my accountant insists we resolve an issue from our divorce once and for all, my exAH has not taken action on dividing some assets, (company stock) which he was supposed to do immediately following our divorce, over 4 years ago......

hdftby100 · hdftby100

So of all days yesterday and I could not access the board! My AW called me mid morning to say she was going home from work because she was taking the day off. She said she was stopping by the grocery store before going to the house. I immediately felt deja vu coming on. The last time this happened I found...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I am such a dipstick. It's all cool believe me. Today this did hit me. Even though you love a non A, if they have been with an A, they are addicted to that A. omg do you see what I am trying to say? Now I am wondering, am I enabling him? Do I give him a soft place to land? Does it make the progress slower cuz he has me t...

deniselt · deniselt

Hello, I'm new here. I'm the mother of a 27 year old son. He has been out of a 28 day rehab program solidly based in AA, he's been home for a little over three weeks. Sadly he's relapsed, and back in the hospital going through detox again. We had plans to go to Austin to see my oldest son, leaving on Sunday...

Jenv · Jenv

I posted a while back about my sister assaulting me at the time of her daughters HS Graduation and I am still struggling with some issues around the whole thing. The drunk sister is still going through the court process because of the assault and interfering with a police officer. I have been in contact...

Pushka · Pushka

Truth be known I can be just as dysfunctional and with crazy behavior as I was at the very first alanon meeting I attended. I was reminded of this last night when all this garbage with the stbax started coming down. The thing that always shocks me is that other women who are older than I am feeling as if I am...

respect · respect

Hello, I haven't written on here in a very long time but have found myself in a curious spot so I thought I'd write to see if I could get some feedback. I was married to a pill addict. Long story short there were many years of lies, theft, sickness...everything that comes with addiction. In July of 2011 my h...

Lyne · Lyne

I feel stronger since I am connected with you guys and my therapist again-he is a CASAC & that helps very much as he gets my spouse. Now every so often my spouse goes out with a couple and she always drinks and lies. I feel like I can handle it better for the next time. I usually get fuming mad, confron...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

I am 45 and am starting to deal with the fact that I have never ever had a truly healthy relationship. From the time I was 15 I have only chosen men who didn't want me for anything other than sex, who physically abused me, we're drug addicts or alcoholics, who cheated on me and who were emotionally unavaila...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Here I am two years away from the intensity of the madness, one plus year divorced. Song in my head spinning around - Dido, I will go down with this ship. Looked up the lyrics to see if they meant what I thought they said, yup, I will go down with this ship, I will put up my hands and surrender, there will be no w...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Thanks for your prayers, condolences and esh. I am so glad to be home again and back to my daily life. I am going back to work tomorrow. It'll be good to see everyone and return to somewhat of a routine. I have a very understanding boss who called today to ask how I was and told me I could take more time off if...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

These days w/ a lot to be afraid of I am trying to live w/ no fear. It is hard when life is so uncertain. Some things just scare me because I am afraid of the future & then I have to remind myself to just live one day a time. So, I try not to future-trip. I hope that some of you can really relate to all I am feelin...

Loupiness · Loupiness

My Friends, With the exception of a few "drive bys", I have been away from this board for about a year and a half. In addition to feeling a bit overwhelmed with work, parenting, and wicked insomnia, I decided I was at a point where I was stuck, and needed to shift my energy from words to action. T...

Pushka · Pushka

My STBAX has decided to threaten me since I asked him (well I probably told him .. LOL!!) that I needed him to take the kids to school tomorrow. My van is having issues, between the transmission and the heat being out we are getting the first frost tomorrow. He was FURIOUS. I got the most horrid text th...

Maxine12stepper · Maxine12stepper

Hi ya'll, I hope you are all well and happy today, I just wanted to let you know I finally got to my first face to face meeting and I absolutely loved it, I cant express how nervous I was on my way there, but with help from my HP I got there in one piece, lol, I met some lovely people and while the al anon meeting w...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Feels like a long time since I been here. I been busy. But I still keep in contact with some of the people here so its not like I'm isolating. Got a funny story for ya. About 25 years ago, this guy I know (in AA) was working in a recovery home for alcoholics, and like most A's he had an idea a minute about how thin...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family...just checking in before going to bed after a day of being still and quiet which worked wonders at taking the pain out of my back. I zoomed into Stephaniej's thread and read and decided to continue it with my own ESH. I'm a caller and a do unto others as I would want them to do for me. My exp...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

Sometimes life is great, sometimes it's rough. I'm in a rough patch and know it won't be forever. My mom has surgery for breast cancer on Thursday and I can't be there, I will be in So Cal visiting my son who is living with his aunt down there, the trip was planned and paid for before she was even diagnosed...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

http://youtu.be/d_sK086rHsI This is my 14 year old singing her second song she was brave enough to post on youtube and I am so proud of the young woman she is. Please give it a listen if you have time. She has grown from a very timid quiet person to coming out of her shell enough to do this, huge step for her...

Rosie08 · Rosie08

I am in the middle of a terrible place mentally and I do plan on starting a live Al Anon group this week, I just have to locate one I can get to since I work 40 hrs a week and am caregiver for my elderly mother. Anyway, when my husband was actively drinking he was verbally and physically abusive . . I had him arre...

avid · avid

Last year my daughter had a healthy baby boy. Wonderful. Except that shortly before she gave birth her husband who is always drinking, got himself fired from a good job for repeatedly sneaking home early. She went back to work after 3 months and the "plan" was that he would stay home wit...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

I finally lost it. I have been doing so well at beng detached and working on me but today was the end of that streak. I blew up at the AH because my mom and dad have gotten on my last nerve today and the reality that I am 46 years old and living in 1 room in their house and have nowhere else to go at the moment while t...

Lyne · Lyne

I know why I am stuck in depression, however it is not as bad as last weekend. It is because I have had one of my Ah ha moments again, for the 500th time, that my A is not interested in changing. I think I am grieving the loss of the marriage I thought I had, wanted to have, could still have, but I am not going to ha...

smiles54 · smiles54

I am new to this board but just find that I need someone to listen to my rambling and maybe relate. I am so tired of being tired. I am married to an alcoholic and I am just burnt out. Burnt out because I work 40 hours a week and he works 8. Burnt out because he can sleep till 2 in the afternoon and I wake up early an...

Yogini · Yogini

I can't even say for sure if it is alcoholism I am dealing with in this situation. Irresponsibility with alcohol I suppose. My questioning is how to deal maturely with the situation and how to view it. On a few occasions my husband has come home from work, temporarily working at a liquor store even thoug...

2havehope · 2havehope

i am new here and i would like to ask a question...... can i still attend alanon meetings and do the 12 steps if the alcoholic is bipolar. my son is 35yrs old and bipolor (alcohol and drug induced at 29)..... i am an older (59) mother and he is the reason why i'm seeking help..... i just can't seemed to ju...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Good morning MIP Ohana...Family... I'm staying still and and full today...I will let my body heal as is desires and is attempting to do. The pain in my spine screams for attention and the only attention it will get is stillness and quiet. I was going to go to a meeting this morning...my home group, f...

DavidG · DavidG

This is a place I can call home. This place is called Alanon World, or even 12 Step World. This is a place where I am not alone. This is a place I share with a host of other people, including you. This is a unique experience, being able to attend a forum from my own dining room table. No petrol in the car and no ba...

SpookyMulder · SpookyMulder

My wife recently started going to AA after several years of our struggling with her poor impulse control. Obviously, this takes the form of drinking often enough to be a problem. The situation, though, is complicated by the fact that when she was a baby she had bacterial meningitis that went untrea...

learning · learning

Hi Everyone, I am not new to MIP. I started my journey years ago. In the beginning I tried ALNON, yet I ended up on the AA side/message board. At the time, in my search for help, after hearing and reading ALNON stories or pleadings for 'help' I was dismayed. All I could think was 'bitch, bitch, b...

Tasha · Tasha

I looked at my husband after watching the movie flight last night - and I said "The powerlessness? If you would have told me I was losing my kids and my family while I was drinking, I would not have been able to stop even if I wanted to. With out help, I would have so badly not wanted to drink again, but...

shamrockgrl74 · shamrockgrl74

Hi..I'm new to board and have never done this before.... My DH is a recovering drug addict. He cleaned up in his 20's...he had been clean & sober for about 10 years when I meet him. Fast forward.... 5 years ago he started taking pain killers for a neck issue... I was nieve and didn't think much of it...

crazycatlady · crazycatlady

hello to all-- After 2 1/2 years of sobriety and really working an AA program (up until 2 months ago) my AH drank Friday night. We all saw it coming and even he said he knew he was in a downward spiral and ready to drink again. I went back to work 3 months ago and this new schedule has prompted him to need to t...

Chaya · Chaya

Well, I had posted on here last week that my sponsor got really upset with me after she referred me to attend some AA meetings to explore some of my own drinking patterns. I haven't heard back from her since that conversation in which she told me she was busy and didn't know what to do with me. I haven't reac...

AllieinAlanon · AllieinAlanon

Hello again. Together, with my sponsor, I have decided to ask a question about Alanon meetings or Alanon in general. As I may have shared, Alanon is my last loose end I have had to tie in my recovery/addiction process in my life. When I feel afraid to share, though, my process is interrupted. This has not...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Last night at our open AA meeting I apologized for my behavior 2 weeks ago to all that were sitting there in regards to my AH. I didn't feel that he got it even though I made it clear as mud. I felt that I was out of line outing him on some of the things he has done--not my place. I felt it necessary to share it w/ th...

Summerseeker · Summerseeker

Why are alcoholics manipulative? Why do they berate, insult and try to make others feel guilty? What is the best course of action when they do this? Thank You.

SecondChance · SecondChance

Hi out there! I have never before dealt with anyone seriously affected by alcoholism. I will say, I have enocuntered certain struggles with some close family members and friends that may over-indulge from time to time, however never someone who is an active AA member and currently dealing with his...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

For the first time in many many years, I have 2 overdraft charges on our checking account. Now, I know I have been lax about taking care of stuff but when I checked the account I realized that AH had been taking out extra cash on debits wherever he went. He basically took out around 400-500 in the past 10 d...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I shared that I was in a relationship that has been going over ten years. We have never met face to face. Just everyway else to communicate. Best friends, confidants, all very moral and great. It started feeling different. Growing like I suppose we all wish would happen in our lives. But still is fine ju...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of Al-Anon. Today, I received a call from my father. He hadn't been to work in the last little while and today he said he went to go see his doctor. His doctor put him on anti-depressant medication because he is depressed. he called to tell me tha...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

I have been trying to work on myself. After deciding it was time to divorce my AH , he decided it was time to convince me he could change. He really had me going there for a while, I was allowing myself to believe him. We were having good talks, had a nice 'date' out and then it came up in a conversation that I di...

Lyne · Lyne

Ya know, my spouse is promising again to change. I think everytime she makes these promises she actually plans to do it. But in a week or two, she is right back to the old tricks. I told her she's not changing because she doesn't want to. It's me that wants things different. I no longer believe she wil...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Well...as you can see I am on here again after yesterday. Good news can travel fast. I am so glad that I don't have to worry about my health. God is in control. Just yesterday someone famous mentioned that she had thyroid cancer & one of my FB friends just had an operation to remove her thyroid for the s...

sweetyhide · sweetyhide

I have been reading here as often as work allows and decided it was time to introduce myself. I am a survivor of addiction. Both parents were alcoholics and my mother died from cirrhosis. Both of my brothers are drug addicts, also. I have been married for 26 years to an alcoholic and drug addict that now...

aprilla · aprilla

After heading down to my first meeting yesterday, I felt a mixture of relief and confusion. I feel I belong there, but Most if not all were still with their partners that have stopped their addictions. I am not, at least not physically. I find that I am still trapped in both mentally and emotionally. E...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I know this topic has come up many, many times here, but I'm hoping to re-visit it with your ESH, as I try to examine my own motives. My AH has three DUIs. Because now, he does most of his drinking at home after work (and he works until 11 p.m.), he is not in the environment he used to be in before we were toget...

Maxine12stepper · Maxine12stepper

Hello my MIP family, I am so happy to tell you guys im going to my first F2F meeting on sunday!! and boy do I need it, I had an awful day yesterday and decided to call up the al anon head office in london to find any 'day' meetings in my area, there are two evening meetings near me that I just cant get to as I have t...

kkhinaustin · kkhinaustin

Hi everyone. I am new to this forum. My mother is 64, her parents were both alcoholics and she began drinking about 20 years ago when I was in high school. For the most part she is what I would call a relatively high functioning A- she went to work every day, was dependable for any social events, did...

katfshh · katfshh

I have a question. I know I feel the need to control things. I know that I get overwhelmed at times and feel stuck. So when it comes to a relationship, what does "let go, let God" mean exactly? I am attracted to A's. Always. My friend said we should go to a local sports pub the other day to try to mee...

tortuga · tortuga

dear all, if you like, please share with me how you deal with those emotioanl gaps in your life created by alcoholic behaviour. As we know it is not only the liquid itself, but the psychological behaviour connected to that disease. Looking back, my sight got clearer, I understand, I comprehend, I get n...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Shunned (Preview) I grew up in an extremely dysfunctional family and while no one was an alcoholic, there was drug abuse among other things that went on. I'm in therapy now and my therapist, recommended I come here so that I see I'm not alone. For as far back as I can remember, and Im 41 now, my life has always been hard. Thes...	Shunned	5	5105	Nov 17, 2012 by Debilyn
	Re-tooling, isolating? (Preview) Hi, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.One thing that Al-Anon has given me and continues to give me over time is clarity. Clarity in my thoughts and clarity in situations. Over my time in Al-Anon I found I have been able to now distinguish which relationships in my life are health...	slogan_jim	6	835	Nov 17, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Update on marriage counseling (Preview) Hi guys, I typed this up on a word document for myself but changed it so I could address it here. We had our 4th session with MT number 2. Some good things are coming out of it, some bad. Basically, I'm seeing my part and seeing where I am unwilling to accept a lot of his character traits and behaviors that ha...	ilovedogs	4	624	Nov 17, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	detach with love (Preview) I first heard this phrase at an alanon meeting just the other day. I understand detachment, and I understand love, But I have no experience with doing both at the same time. Cany anyone share how one goes about doing this. Seriously, I am totally clueless. thank you so much.	avid	12	1283	Nov 17, 2012 by orchidlover
	Re-learning the 3 C's (Preview) I've just had to re-learn these, having been in turmoil for a number of months. No I can't control it, No I didn't cause it, No I can't cure it. This includes those who do not tax their car, get certificate of roadworthiness, my son's school life, my son's criminal activity in the past, people he has hurt i...	maire rua	4	350	Nov 16, 2012 by orchidlover
	I got out of the way (Preview) I just thought I'd share something positive that has happened this past week. I got out of the way of my A brother, I didn't budge, I didn't enable him. I gave him love and detatched as best I could these past 4 months. He has been homeless and has called me numerous times asking for help. During those t...	Sam813	7	453	Nov 16, 2012 by orchidlover
	Alanon Retreat (Preview) There is an alanon 12 step retreat in my city next weekend. There is absolutely NOTHING stopping me from going. I'm just a little freaked out by sharing a room with someone. I will request a single room, but if it is unavailable, i don't know if i want to go. I went to my first face to face this sunday. ...	Sincerely	8	1614	Nov 16, 2012 by JPenney67
	Random insanity.... (Preview) Want to laugh now more than I wanted to kill him then. Story; I'm at work leaf blowing the parking lot and I feel a bump on my back on the leaf blower motor. I turn to the right and there is a large Ford pickup going past me inches from my shoulder. He tried to drive past me in a smaller than truck space ra...	Jerry F	5	408	Nov 16, 2012 by Tasha
	unsure what is better or worse for my 7yr old (Preview) I know this is something no one can answer for me. Im more thinking out loud and venting, I guess? My seven yr old knows the cycle with my AH as well as I do it seems. A lil background here. I adopted my son when he was 22 months old. His birth mother was an addict during pregnancy, after pregnancy and eventual...	sweeetr	4	439	Nov 16, 2012 by rehprof
	The next right thing (Preview) I have been in communication with my ex AH recently, due to the fact that my accountant insists we resolve an issue from our divorce once and for all, my exAH has not taken action on dividing some assets, (company stock) which he was supposed to do immediately following our divorce, over 4 years ago......	glad lee	5	656	Nov 16, 2012 by AllieinAlanon
	Deja Vu Yesterday... (Preview) So of all days yesterday and I could not access the board! My AW called me mid morning to say she was going home from work because she was taking the day off. She said she was stopping by the grocery store before going to the house. I immediately felt deja vu coming on. The last time this happened I found...	hdftby100	4	338	Nov 16, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	thinking about a non a who is addicted to his a ? huh? (Preview) I am such a dipstick. It's all cool believe me. Today this did hit me. Even though you love a non A, if they have been with an A, they are addicted to that A. omg do you see what I am trying to say? Now I am wondering, am I enabling him? Do I give him a soft place to land? Does it make the progress slower cuz he has me t...	Debilyn	8	526	Nov 15, 2012 by blueyz
	What to do? (Preview) Hello, I'm new here. I'm the mother of a 27 year old son. He has been out of a 28 day rehab program solidly based in AA, he's been home for a little over three weeks. Sadly he's relapsed, and back in the hospital going through detox again. We had plans to go to Austin to see my oldest son, leaving on Sunday...	deniselt	5	484	Nov 15, 2012 by hdftby100
	Sisters (Preview) I posted a while back about my sister assaulting me at the time of her daughters HS Graduation and I am still struggling with some issues around the whole thing. The drunk sister is still going through the court process because of the assault and interfering with a police officer. I have been in contact...	Jenv	6	360	Nov 14, 2012 by Jenv
	On any given day .. (Preview) Truth be known I can be just as dysfunctional and with crazy behavior as I was at the very first alanon meeting I attended. I was reminded of this last night when all this garbage with the stbax started coming down. The thing that always shocks me is that other women who are older than I am feeling as if I am...	Pushka	7	521	Nov 15, 2012 by orchidlover
	1 year later...a little lengthy (Preview) Hello, I haven't written on here in a very long time but have found myself in a curious spot so I thought I'd write to see if I could get some feedback. I was married to a pill addict. Long story short there were many years of lies, theft, sickness...everything that comes with addiction. In July of 2011 my h...	respect	9	509	Nov 15, 2012 by Jerry F
	drinking buddies (Preview) I feel stronger since I am connected with you guys and my therapist again-he is a CASAC & that helps very much as he gets my spouse. Now every so often my spouse goes out with a couple and she always drinks and lies. I feel like I can handle it better for the next time. I usually get fuming mad, confron...	Lyne	5	1667	Nov 15, 2012 by orchidlover
	Tired of carrying this baggage (Preview) I am 45 and am starting to deal with the fact that I have never ever had a truly healthy relationship. From the time I was 15 I have only chosen men who didn't want me for anything other than sex, who physically abused me, we're drug addicts or alcoholics, who cheated on me and who were emotionally unavaila...	TrudyS85	11	708	Nov 15, 2012 by orchidlover
	Acknowledging how I still feel (Preview) Here I am two years away from the intensity of the madness, one plus year divorced. Song in my head spinning around - Dido, I will go down with this ship. Looked up the lyrics to see if they meant what I thought they said, yup, I will go down with this ship, I will put up my hands and surrender, there will be no w...	likemyheart	18	609	Nov 15, 2012 by orchidlover
	Taking it a day at a time (Preview) Thanks for your prayers, condolences and esh. I am so glad to be home again and back to my daily life. I am going back to work tomorrow. It'll be good to see everyone and return to somewhat of a routine. I have a very understanding boss who called today to ask how I was and told me I could take more time off if...	tiredtonite	7	574	Nov 15, 2012 by orchidlover
	trying to live w/ NO FEAR! (Preview) These days w/ a lot to be afraid of I am trying to live w/ no fear. It is hard when life is so uncertain. Some things just scare me because I am afraid of the future & then I have to remind myself to just live one day a time. So, I try not to future-trip. I hope that some of you can really relate to all I am feelin...	Hoot Nanny	3	354	Nov 14, 2012 by hotrod
	Coming back (Preview) My Friends, With the exception of a few "drive bys", I have been away from this board for about a year and a half. In addition to feeling a bit overwhelmed with work, parenting, and wicked insomnia, I decided I was at a point where I was stuck, and needed to shift my energy from words to action. T...	Loupiness	3	396	Nov 14, 2012 by Jerry F
	Completely FLOORED!! (Preview) My STBAX has decided to threaten me since I asked him (well I probably told him .. LOL!!) that I needed him to take the kids to school tomorrow. My van is having issues, between the transmission and the heat being out we are getting the first frost tomorrow. He was FURIOUS. I got the most horrid text th...	Pushka	18	519	Nov 14, 2012 by hdftby100
	First meeting was great :) (Preview) Hi ya'll, I hope you are all well and happy today, I just wanted to let you know I finally got to my first face to face meeting and I absolutely loved it, I cant express how nervous I was on my way there, but with help from my HP I got there in one piece, lol, I met some lovely people and while the al anon meeting w...	Maxine12stepper	6	332	Nov 14, 2012 by hdftby100
	When You Get Your Own House (Preview) Feels like a long time since I been here. I been busy. But I still keep in contact with some of the people here so its not like I'm isolating. Got a funny story for ya. About 25 years ago, this guy I know (in AA) was working in a recovery home for alcoholics, and like most A's he had an idea a minute about how thin...	Wolfie55	5	475	Nov 14, 2012 by tiredtonite
	Drinking and Driving cont. (Preview) Aloha Family...just checking in before going to bed after a day of being still and quiet which worked wonders at taking the pain out of my back. I zoomed into Stephaniej's thread and read and decided to continue it with my own ESH. I'm a caller and a do unto others as I would want them to do for me. My exp...	Jerry F	6	446	Nov 14, 2012 by orchidlover
	It's quiet for a little while (Preview) Sometimes life is great, sometimes it's rough. I'm in a rough patch and know it won't be forever. My mom has surgery for breast cancer on Thursday and I can't be there, I will be in So Cal visiting my son who is living with his aunt down there, the trip was planned and paid for before she was even diagnosed...	AStrongerMe	4	367	Nov 14, 2012 by Wolfie55
	She did it again and WOW (Preview) http://youtu.be/d_sK086rHsI This is my 14 year old singing her second song she was brave enough to post on youtube and I am so proud of the young woman she is. Please give it a listen if you have time. She has grown from a very timid quiet person to coming out of her shell enough to do this, huge step for her...	Breakingfree	6	534	Nov 14, 2012 by Debilyn
	My dry drunk spouse (Preview) I am in the middle of a terrible place mentally and I do plan on starting a live Al Anon group this week, I just have to locate one I can get to since I work 40 hrs a week and am caregiver for my elderly mother. Anyway, when my husband was actively drinking he was verbally and physically abusive . . I had him arre...	Rosie08	12	1427	Nov 14, 2012 by Rosie08
	newcomer feeling very angry (Preview) Last year my daughter had a healthy baby boy. Wonderful. Except that shortly before she gave birth her husband who is always drinking, got himself fired from a good job for repeatedly sneaking home early. She went back to work after 3 months and the "plan" was that he would stay home wit...	avid	8	505	Nov 13, 2012 by avid
	Cherry on Top of a Craptacular Week (Preview) I finally lost it. I have been doing so well at beng detached and working on me but today was the end of that streak. I blew up at the AH because my mom and dad have gotten on my last nerve today and the reality that I am 46 years old and living in 1 room in their house and have nowhere else to go at the moment while t...	WornOutMrsFixIt	12	570	Nov 13, 2012 by Pushka
	Ah ha moments repeat (Preview) I know why I am stuck in depression, however it is not as bad as last weekend. It is because I have had one of my Ah ha moments again, for the 500th time, that my A is not interested in changing. I think I am grieving the loss of the marriage I thought I had, wanted to have, could still have, but I am not going to ha...	Lyne	4	325	Nov 13, 2012 by Lyne
	Just Frustrated (Preview) I am new to this board but just find that I need someone to listen to my rambling and maybe relate. I am so tired of being tired. I am married to an alcoholic and I am just burnt out. Burnt out because I work 40 hours a week and he works 8. Burnt out because he can sleep till 2 in the afternoon and I wake up early an...	smiles54	4	337	Nov 12, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Questioning (Preview) I can't even say for sure if it is alcoholism I am dealing with in this situation. Irresponsibility with alcohol I suppose. My questioning is how to deal maturely with the situation and how to view it. On a few occasions my husband has come home from work, temporarily working at a liquor store even thoug...	Yogini	3	327	Nov 12, 2012 by Breakingfree
	alcohol and bipolar (Preview) i am new here and i would like to ask a question...... can i still attend alanon meetings and do the 12 steps if the alcoholic is bipolar. my son is 35yrs old and bipolor (alcohol and drug induced at 29)..... i am an older (59) mother and he is the reason why i'm seeking help..... i just can't seemed to ju...	2havehope	6	2308	Nov 12, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Staying still...staying full (Preview) Good morning MIP Ohana...Family... I'm staying still and and full today...I will let my body heal as is desires and is attempting to do. The pain in my spine screams for attention and the only attention it will get is stillness and quiet. I was going to go to a meeting this morning...my home group, f...	Jerry F	5	354	Nov 12, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Gratitude... (Preview) This is a place I can call home. This place is called Alanon World, or even 12 Step World. This is a place where I am not alone. This is a place I share with a host of other people, including you. This is a unique experience, being able to attend a forum from my own dining room table. No petrol in the car and no ba...	DavidG	4	1106	Nov 12, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Alcoholism and Epilepsy (Preview) My wife recently started going to AA after several years of our struggling with her poor impulse control. Obviously, this takes the form of drinking often enough to be a problem. The situation, though, is complicated by the fact that when she was a baby she had bacterial meningitis that went untrea...	SpookyMulder	6	469	Nov 12, 2012 by SpookyMulder
	Extending a Hand (Preview) Hi Everyone, I am not new to MIP. I started my journey years ago. In the beginning I tried ALNON, yet I ended up on the AA side/message board. At the time, in my search for help, after hearing and reading ALNON stories or pleadings for 'help' I was dismayed. All I could think was 'bitch, bitch, b...	learning	4	462	Nov 12, 2012 by learning
	Was that really me? (Preview) I looked at my husband after watching the movie flight last night - and I said "The powerlessness? If you would have told me I was losing my kids and my family while I was drinking, I would not have been able to stop even if I wanted to. With out help, I would have so badly not wanted to drink again, but...	Tasha	2	289	Nov 12, 2012 by ilovedogs
	new to board... (Preview) Hi..I'm new to board and have never done this before.... My DH is a recovering drug addict. He cleaned up in his 20's...he had been clean & sober for about 10 years when I meet him. Fast forward.... 5 years ago he started taking pain killers for a neck issue... I was nieve and didn't think much of it...	shamrockgrl74	11	442	Nov 12, 2012 by Tasha
	relapse (Preview) hello to all-- After 2 1/2 years of sobriety and really working an AA program (up until 2 months ago) my AH drank Friday night. We all saw it coming and even he said he knew he was in a downward spiral and ready to drink again. I went back to work 3 months ago and this new schedule has prompted him to need to t...	crazycatlady	3	504	Nov 12, 2012 by Auntyaya
	Dropped by my sponsor...I guess? (Preview) Well, I had posted on here last week that my sponsor got really upset with me after she referred me to attend some AA meetings to explore some of my own drinking patterns. I haven't heard back from her since that conversation in which she told me she was busy and didn't know what to do with me. I haven't reac...	Chaya	10	707	Nov 12, 2012 by Chaya
	sharing in meetings meeting etiquette alanon examples ESH honesty sharing (Preview) Hello again. Together, with my sponsor, I have decided to ask a question about Alanon meetings or Alanon in general. As I may have shared, Alanon is my last loose end I have had to tie in my recovery/addiction process in my life. When I feel afraid to share, though, my process is interrupted. This has not...	AllieinAlanon	9	5795	Nov 11, 2012 by hotrod
	apology accepted???????????? (Preview) Last night at our open AA meeting I apologized for my behavior 2 weeks ago to all that were sitting there in regards to my AH. I didn't feel that he got it even though I made it clear as mud. I felt that I was out of line outing him on some of the things he has done--not my place. I felt it necessary to share it w/ th...	Hoot Nanny	0	265	Nov 10, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	Manipulation (Preview) Why are alcoholics manipulative? Why do they berate, insult and try to make others feel guilty? What is the best course of action when they do this? Thank You.	Summerseeker	6	473	Nov 11, 2012 by Lyne
	Advice for a newbie (Preview) Hi out there! I have never before dealt with anyone seriously affected by alcoholism. I will say, I have enocuntered certain struggles with some close family members and friends that may over-indulge from time to time, however never someone who is an active AA member and currently dealing with his...	SecondChance	13	529	Nov 11, 2012 by alcfriend
	Funny business with the money (Preview) For the first time in many many years, I have 2 overdraft charges on our checking account. Now, I know I have been lax about taking care of stuff but when I checked the account I realized that AH had been taking out extra cash on debits wherever he went. He basically took out around 400-500 in the past 10 d...	ilovedogs	12	746	Nov 11, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Nothing has changed but everything has changed. (Preview) I shared that I was in a relationship that has been going over ten years. We have never met face to face. Just everyway else to communicate. Best friends, confidants, all very moral and great. It started feeling different. Growing like I suppose we all wish would happen in our lives. But still is fine ju...	Debilyn	8	627	Nov 11, 2012 by GailMichelle
	Closer to bottom (Preview) Hi Everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of Al-Anon. Today, I received a call from my father. He hadn't been to work in the last little while and today he said he went to go see his doctor. His doctor put him on anti-depressant medication because he is depressed. he called to tell me tha...	slogan_jim	3	336	Nov 11, 2012 by slogan_jim
	Slow Slow Journey (Preview) I have been trying to work on myself. After deciding it was time to divorce my AH , he decided it was time to convince me he could change. He really had me going there for a while, I was allowing myself to believe him. We were having good talks, had a nice 'date' out and then it came up in a conversation that I di...	TrudyS85	3	298	Nov 10, 2012 by Mattie
	still in a funk (Preview) Ya know, my spouse is promising again to change. I think everytime she makes these promises she actually plans to do it. But in a week or two, she is right back to the old tricks. I told her she's not changing because she doesn't want to. It's me that wants things different. I no longer believe she wil...	Lyne	3	298	Nov 10, 2012 by Tasha
	well... (Preview) Well...as you can see I am on here again after yesterday. Good news can travel fast. I am so glad that I don't have to worry about my health. God is in control. Just yesterday someone famous mentioned that she had thyroid cancer & one of my FB friends just had an operation to remove her thyroid for the s...	Hoot Nanny	2	349	Nov 10, 2012 by GailMichelle
	Newbie here but Old Timer (Preview) I have been reading here as often as work allows and decided it was time to introduce myself. I am a survivor of addiction. Both parents were alcoholics and my mother died from cirrhosis. Both of my brothers are drug addicts, also. I have been married for 26 years to an alcoholic and drug addict that now...	sweetyhide	4	352	Nov 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Anxiety Seperation (Preview) After heading down to my first meeting yesterday, I felt a mixture of relief and confusion. I feel I belong there, but Most if not all were still with their partners that have stopped their addictions. I am not, at least not physically. I find that I am still trapped in both mentally and emotionally. E...	aprilla	3	361	Nov 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Drinking and Driving (Preview) I know this topic has come up many, many times here, but I'm hoping to re-visit it with your ESH, as I try to examine my own motives. My AH has three DUIs. Because now, he does most of his drinking at home after work (and he works until 11 p.m.), he is not in the environment he used to be in before we were toget...	stephaniej	9	574	Nov 10, 2012 by Pushka
	Finally going to a meeting!!! yay!! (Preview) Hello my MIP family, I am so happy to tell you guys im going to my first F2F meeting on sunday!! and boy do I need it, I had an awful day yesterday and decided to call up the al anon head office in london to find any 'day' meetings in my area, there are two evening meetings near me that I just cant get to as I have t...	Maxine12stepper	3	338	Nov 9, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Very Concerned about Elderly, Alcoholic Mother - Newbie to forum (Preview) Hi everyone. I am new to this forum. My mother is 64, her parents were both alcoholics and she began drinking about 20 years ago when I was in high school. For the most part she is what I would call a relatively high functioning A- she went to work every day, was dependable for any social events, did...	kkhinaustin	3	3844	Nov 9, 2012 by pinkchip
	What about moving on and new relationships???? (Preview) I have a question. I know I feel the need to control things. I know that I get overwhelmed at times and feel stuck. So when it comes to a relationship, what does "let go, let God" mean exactly? I am attracted to A's. Always. My friend said we should go to a local sports pub the other day to try to mee...	katfshh	14	752	Nov 9, 2012 by Chaya
	How do you deal with the void of the past when you grew up in this family disease? (Preview) dear all, if you like, please share with me how you deal with those emotioanl gaps in your life created by alcoholic behaviour. As we know it is not only the liquid itself, but the psychological behaviour connected to that disease. Looking back, my sight got clearer, I understand, I comprehend, I get n...	tortuga	5	492	Nov 9, 2012 by tortuga
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.