Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Even though my mother never found Alanon, she seemed very good at practicing principles of detachment and taking it odaat. One day shared with me that her friend always said one day at a time to her. I later learned that her friend was divorced from an alcoholic. I told my mother that one day at a time wa...

Cherubhmm · Cherubhmm

It's a while since I last posted about the abuse and rages I get from my alcoholic partner. I took to heart the advice I was given. The abuse continues for me. If I walk away I'm followed so it can continue. If I don't react and keep quiet it gets louder. Yesterday I went for a walk, came back and couldn't find...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

So, having a little moment here. Yesterday I get home and the AW is in the living room sorting through some packages she got. She asked for my help and I go in there. I see a coffee tumbler on the coffee table and ask why that was in there. I get no reply. I wait about a minute or so and ask again and she repl...

cinders · cinders

I have been reading the posts on here for a long time, taking in your thoughts and applying it to my life the best I could. To start with a bit of back story, married to an active drinker for almost 7 years now, have been together for 10. His drinking had increased greatly over the last several years, but in...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

All my life I've felt this hole inside me. An emotional hole, like feelings,especially positive ones are missing. I've realized that even though there are complaints I have about life that are legitimate, nothing really would keep me happy. I have to typical acoa issues of feeling like I'm not en...

oldergal · oldergal

Addiction is such a horrible, awful, life stealing disease...., the people who are effected can't see from the outside and look in. They are so wrapped up in their disease that they don't see you on the sidelines trying to help them. It's so, so heartbreaking that all these great people who were once i...

laj · laj

This question is about co-dependency I suppose. Is it a good idea to clean up the mess your addicted loved one/family member leaves behind once they are in a rehab facility? Especially if it is the home of the addict alone- is there wisdom in waiting for the recovering addict to return so they can see the...

Zimmy · Zimmy

Im sending this this way as its easier than trying to text it on my phone.Mick I love you like no other you are my soulmate, but I am so scared that the alcohol is beating you and that you will end up ill and eventually die..untreated alcoholism kills and that is my biggest fear. I am so angry that the disease...

jane99 · jane99

can anyone explain the emotions that an addict goes through after a relapse?

Minnehaha · Minnehaha

Hello, My adult daughter has struggled with substance abuse for 26 years, on and off. She recently graduated from and inpatient program and was doing well. She got an apartment, a job, and is out on her own. After about a year she confessed she was drinking again. She stopped coming to family event...

eudaimonia · eudaimonia

Hi, I am new to this forum. I've been wanting to join group therapy or an online community because my boyfriend is a drug addict in remission for over a year now. When I met him, he was taking methadone for a former drug habit to heroin. After 5 months of our dating he decided he wanted to kick the methado...

rehprof · rehprof

Yesterday the ex came by to pick up the boys (16 and 10). The 16yo was stalling, kept on the computer, and ex was like "Okay, I'm leaving without you!" It was tense. He tried to talk to 16 yo...asked him to come with him so they could talk. Son refused. Then, 10yo doesn't like to ex's house withou...

jane99 · jane99

hi, i'm new to this but could do with some help. i've been in a relationship with an alcoholic for 6 years and he's been in recovery for almost the last 2 of those. We have a 2 year old. Our relationship has always been a bit on/off, mostly related to his drinking. He stopped going to meetings a couple of mont...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

Starting my own. 1. Thankful I will not be going through the holidays wondering about A friend - better to be totally out of his life and the lifting of that burden is great. 2. Thankful that the doctors feel they got all my mom's breast cancer out, none of the lymph nodes had any cancer in them, a few long w...

laj · laj

This question is about co-dependency I suppose. Is it a good idea to clean up the mess your addicted loved one/family member leaves behind once they are in a rehab facility? Especially if it is the home of the addict alone- is there wisdom in waiting for the recovering addict to return so they can see the...

Jozie · Jozie

Welp.. Ya know.. Last November for me was just UCK! And since Loosing my Afather to this Disease in 2008, Novemeber for me has been my "Ism" month... Tomorrow My Afather would be 63, and to think I will never know him older then 58 at times breaks my heart! I often remember my Afather before th...

Jerry F · Jerry F

that's what all the people say...Riding high in April; shot down in May..." Remember that tune and the lyrics? It really is fact. I'm living it right now and don't have many complaints while I'm still keeping "my" program as close to "thee" program as I can so the highs...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

Thinking back to last Thanksgiving- what was supposed to be a lovely family vacation in the NC mountains turned into the most horrible 5 days of my life due to my AH ruining the entire trip. Fast forward to now, I will be spending thanksgiving at my cousins with my mother and sister and am actually lookin...

Still in Surrender Mode · Still in Surrender Mode

Thanks to everyone who posted. It reminds me of who I am and what I need to be doing. The verbal and physical abuse is worse lately. More so since I stopped buying into the situation. He wants me to engage. You all reminded me -- detatch with love. Pray. Take MY inventory - not his. Thanks & God bless. Wi...

Pushka · Pushka

It's interesting because I am in a situation in which I could completely utilize my will and I know doing this always works out so not fun. So I am very frustrated at the moment with the whole don't just do something sit there ideology. I'm ok with God sending a big lightening bolt and striking my STBAX o...

orchidlover · orchidlover

I used to think I was a really empathic person. I could identify with people who had problems so well and could almost feel what they were feeling. I also would spiral into a whole circle of emotions about how unfair life was and how I felt I had been given a bad deal. I certainly (even though I have a pract...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi All I have been in counselling and Al-anon for a little while now. Also have not talk to my son in 4 week trying to get well. This morning he texted me asking to come up for Thanksgiving and I said yes...would love him to come. Now I may have made a mistake. I want dearly to see my son but I don't want to ge...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am hoping that Thanksgiving will go w/o a glitch. It will be just me & my husband like I mentioned before. I think my mom wants to spend time w/ those in my family who don't regularly see her "true" self & soak up the spoiling she gets when she goes down there. Just saying... I will rem...

souljoy · souljoy

Having been in Alanon a while (over 4 years) I am recognizing more than ever places in my life when I just need to tell my own mind to stop all the nonsense of second guessing myself, say what I mean and mean what I say without falter, and set boundaries with love. I say these things because my AH has been on...

Desirae · Desirae

Al-anon meeting this morning: Topics will be: "Changes (This too shall pass.)"; "Rejection (Real or Imagined)"; "Unreasonable (Without knowing it)".

stephaniej · stephaniej

My oldest child turns 13 today. Over the weekend, my dad stopped by on his way out of town to take us all out for lunch to celebrate. He gave my daughter a very, very nice gift (combination birthday and Christmas), and then unloaded three big bags of Christmas presents into the trunk of my car. We have h...

LeenieBeanie · LeenieBeanie

Hello everyone..... Well, here it is, a few days before the holiday and I am keeping myself busy with prep (cleaning and shopping) for Thursday. Our AD and her son live with us. To the best of our knowledge, she is not drinking, but with no program. She has been working since September, going in ever...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I wanted to start a discussion topic about JADE. Those of you in program long enough know it stands for: Don't JADE: Justify, Argue, Defend, or Explain I am looking for what people's interpretations are of these words and how they apply it to their recoveries. For me, I feel like the word explain kin...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

THE GRATITUDE BANQUET WENT WELL. A FUN TIME WAS HAD BY ALL. WE LEFT EARLY BEFORE THE SPEAKER WAS DONE. THE 50/50 WAS OVER 1000 DOLLARS. A LOT OF PEOPLE COULD USE IT THESE DAYS! My MIP buddy made it because of a change of plans. I was so glad to see her there--she is a ray of sunshine to me! I enjoyed the fellowsh...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I finish the day out at work tomorrow and then I'm off until after the holiday. It's not that people haven't been caring at work but I just can't cope with the loss of my mother. I have to just feel these feelings and there's nothing else I can do. I'm finding that the people who have had good relationships...

willowtree · willowtree

I just finished Step 4 with my sponsor. I feel closer to my HP and am so thankful to be doing the steps. But the problem is that I am so aware of my defects of character that they seem to be EXPLODING everywhere from me! I am very aware of them but can't stop them and they seem to be getting worse. I feel so bad...

orchidlover · orchidlover

For me the holidays with the ex A (and there were 7 of them) were an opportunity to plunge into despair, resentment, envy and really a huge spiral downward for myself. I spent many of them racked in grief, sobbing and feeling absolutely abandoned, ignored and totally disrespected by him. Naturall...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, Tonight, I was at an Open meeting in my area. There is a member that I speak with every week and we are about the same age. Tonight, I asked with a smile 'When are you speaking?' and they looked a little flustered at my question. I then added 'Because I submitted your name'. The look on their fac...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Growing up in an alcoholic home, and having gone through living with an alcoholic father, you begin to think that youve become good at reading patterns, especially when it comes to drinking patterns.Last night I was out for a friends birthday. We attended a local hockey game, then went for dinner and...

saskimodo · saskimodo

My parents were both Alcoholics. Today I had brother and sister and lots of neices and nephews age 6 upwards for lunch and no sooner did i serve the food than my siblings started screaming at each other about Christmas. I tried to shout over them not to do this when all the kids were there but i could hardly...

Lyne · Lyne

I'm losing my ground. My A has promised to change several hundred times. I mentioned divorce during the week and she freaked. This is not the life I want. I can't forget that all her promises are empty words. It would be such a relief to believe her and she actually got into recovery. It's not going to happ...

HoofnIt · HoofnIt

I'm trying to make a decision on weather or not i should let my landlord know that my BF is an alcholoc. We rent a property that has to houses and a barn on it. My landlords elderly father lives in the 1st house and she has a horse in the barn with mine so she is on the property twice a day. We do not have written le...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I've overall been doing much better, but there are times when I get tired of the struggle. Daughter (11) is in therapy and was able to tell her mother in the therapists office, with me there also, how she feels about alot of things that were bothering her. It was hard for her. She was trembling and ner...

Aussie-72 · Aussie-72

First time poster here. Bare with me. My partner, my best friend and the love of my life is an alcoholic. I'll preffice this by saying - I have had no personal experience with alcoholism before. And I'm finding it difficult to understand this disease. A bit of back ground. High achiever. Smart and s...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Not only is it almost time for Thanksgiving but it is the day of our annual Gratitude Banquet. It is always a fun time for everyone but I can see that I can get a lot of anxiety over it. There are usually about 300 recovering people there--mostly recovering AAs. They do a sobriety countdown w/ people who ha...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

Well the weekend is here and my AW decided to drink. The drinking has really cut back but she still drinks at home on the weekends. This message is actually about my 24 year old daughter and 1 year old grandson. We watch our grandson quite a bit (I think too much cause my daughter pawns him off on us so she...

John · John

Hi Everyone, I'm a wreck right now. My A son, 32 yrs old who just recently separated from his wife of 10 years and 4 single digit age children, lost his home, his job, his car, and his drivers license ... all due to alcoholism, called me about 2 months ago, saying he wanted help, had no one else to turn to etc...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I thought I'd detail some thoughts here that were triggered in another's post. I'm now 53 and dealing with all the issues that come with that age. Besides experiencing regret in past life decisions (choice of spouse-really wondering "what was I thinking, WAS I thinking..., career - just don...

avid · avid

I am not proud of myself for feeling the way I do. I know I'm being self centered. There are those who have been seriously impacted by my friends relapse but I am being honest, if not particularly spiritual. I have a very close friend. A guy who I see several times a week, and talk to via phone virtually e...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Well...I AM having a GOOD day so far. My hubby has been in court for one of his AA buddies who was sentenced for something that I would rather not mention in details. He has a LONG road ahead of him. I am so GLAD that my husband is in recovery so HE can be there for someone else. I don't know the results from the f...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t51595318/step-3-alanon/-- Edited by hotrod on Saturday 17th of November 2012 09:43:22 AM

Temple · Temple

My daughter was five, in morning kindergarten so she could still get her afternoon nap, and I was invested in getting her to bed early enough for her to be well rested the next morning. And she was a little master at delaying tactics. One night she had lost a tooth and we were putting it under the pillow fo...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Al Anon has taught me to look at things realistically, not be trying to make things into what they are not. For instance;"OH sure I will move to La. I am a tough cookie, I can do it." Then research and its hard to live there with asthma and arthritis..... ok now what? I learned one thing, that is i...

Jozie · Jozie

Boy when I Look around at the World we Live in, it reminds me to Constantly Count My Blessings... Not just my Daily ones, but also the ones I found Right Here! In Al-Anon/ACOA... Today Marks One Years since I Lost My MIL... She Lost her Battle with Cancer, and Went home to be with her Husband, Mom, Dad &...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

After many, many months of apparent sobriety, my wife drank last night. I wasn't aware although I knew she was having a bad night. She called me today to confess, something that has never, ever happened before when she was actively drinking. What this latest experience has taught me is two things--1-...

AllieinAlanon · AllieinAlanon

My sponsor made me log on today to "listen" to some shares today. I still did not know if I belonged here or could relate; still wondered if I needed to do some more "research" before deciding if I needed t his program lol. I still think it's about dealing with the A or dealing with ot...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I have this thing that I have worked on for years. A fear that anything good is not real. If it is, it will go away. He asked me not to push him away, don't hesitate to tell me anything. This time our relationship allowed me to let whatever happen be fine. Next thing I know I am sharing everything, no longer sh...

Shunned · Shunned

I grew up in an extremely dysfunctional family and while no one was an alcoholic, there was drug abuse among other things that went on. I'm in therapy now and my therapist, recommended I come here so that I see I'm not alone. For as far back as I can remember, and Im 41 now, my life has always been hard. Thes...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.One thing that Al-Anon has given me and continues to give me over time is clarity. Clarity in my thoughts and clarity in situations. Over my time in Al-Anon I found I have been able to now distinguish which relationships in my life are health...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Hi guys, I typed this up on a word document for myself but changed it so I could address it here. We had our 4th session with MT number 2. Some good things are coming out of it, some bad. Basically, I'm seeing my part and seeing where I am unwilling to accept a lot of his character traits and behaviors that ha...

avid · avid

I first heard this phrase at an alanon meeting just the other day. I understand detachment, and I understand love, But I have no experience with doing both at the same time. Cany anyone share how one goes about doing this. Seriously, I am totally clueless. thank you so much.

maire rua · maire rua

I've just had to re-learn these, having been in turmoil for a number of months. No I can't control it, No I didn't cause it, No I can't cure it. This includes those who do not tax their car, get certificate of roadworthiness, my son's school life, my son's criminal activity in the past, people he has hurt i...

Sam813 · Sam813

I just thought I'd share something positive that has happened this past week. I got out of the way of my A brother, I didn't budge, I didn't enable him. I gave him love and detatched as best I could these past 4 months. He has been homeless and has called me numerous times asking for help. During those t...

Sincerely · Sincerely

There is an alanon 12 step retreat in my city next weekend. There is absolutely NOTHING stopping me from going. I'm just a little freaked out by sharing a room with someone. I will request a single room, but if it is unavailable, i don't know if i want to go. I went to my first face to face this sunday. ...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Want to laugh now more than I wanted to kill him then. Story; I'm at work leaf blowing the parking lot and I feel a bump on my back on the leaf blower motor. I turn to the right and there is a large Ford pickup going past me inches from my shoulder. He tried to drive past me in a smaller than truck space ra...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	One Day at a Time (Preview) Even though my mother never found Alanon, she seemed very good at practicing principles of detachment and taking it odaat. One day shared with me that her friend always said one day at a time to her. I later learned that her friend was divorced from an alcoholic. I told my mother that one day at a time wa...	tiredtonite	3	348	Nov 23, 2012 by Debilyn
	Life getting worse (Preview) It's a while since I last posted about the abuse and rages I get from my alcoholic partner. I took to heart the advice I was given. The abuse continues for me. If I walk away I'm followed so it can continue. If I don't react and keep quiet it gets louder. Yesterday I went for a walk, came back and couldn't find...	Cherubhmm	5	458	Nov 23, 2012 by Cherubhmm
	Dreading holiday (Preview) So, having a little moment here. Yesterday I get home and the AW is in the living room sorting through some packages she got. She asked for my help and I go in there. I see a coffee tumbler on the coffee table and ask why that was in there. I get no reply. I wait about a minute or so and ask again and she repl...	hdftby100	6	493	Nov 22, 2012 by Lyne
	Many recent changes, in need of guideance and support (Preview) I have been reading the posts on here for a long time, taking in your thoughts and applying it to my life the best I could. To start with a bit of back story, married to an active drinker for almost 7 years now, have been together for 10. His drinking had increased greatly over the last several years, but in...	cinders	3	542	Nov 22, 2012 by pinkchip
	what fills the hole inside? (Preview) All my life I've felt this hole inside me. An emotional hole, like feelings,especially positive ones are missing. I've realized that even though there are complaints I have about life that are legitimate, nothing really would keep me happy. I have to typical acoa issues of feeling like I'm not en...	mjhyankees	9	646	Nov 22, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Debilitating, Life Sucking Disease! (Preview) Addiction is such a horrible, awful, life stealing disease...., the people who are effected can't see from the outside and look in. They are so wrapped up in their disease that they don't see you on the sidelines trying to help them. It's so, so heartbreaking that all these great people who were once i...	oldergal	1	412	Nov 22, 2012 by tortuga
	Cleaning up the recovering addicts home for them? (Preview) This question is about co-dependency I suppose. Is it a good idea to clean up the mess your addicted loved one/family member leaves behind once they are in a rehab facility? Especially if it is the home of the addict alone- is there wisdom in waiting for the recovering addict to return so they can see the...	laj	5	444	Nov 22, 2012 by Mattie
	Email to the love of my life and father of my son....I HATE YOU ALCOHOLISM! trying to detach with love :( (Preview) Im sending this this way as its easier than trying to text it on my phone.Mick I love you like no other you are my soulmate, but I am so scared that the alcohol is beating you and that you will end up ill and eventually die..untreated alcoholism kills and that is my biggest fear. I am so angry that the disease...	Zimmy	4	580	Nov 21, 2012 by Jerry F
	emotions after a relapse? (Preview) can anyone explain the emotions that an addict goes through after a relapse?	jane99	5	441	Nov 21, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	? about daughter (Preview) Hello, My adult daughter has struggled with substance abuse for 26 years, on and off. She recently graduated from and inpatient program and was doing well. She got an apartment, a job, and is out on her own. After about a year she confessed she was drinking again. She stopped coming to family event...	Minnehaha	3	546	Nov 21, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	I need some advice from experienced members of this community (Preview) Hi, I am new to this forum. I've been wanting to join group therapy or an online community because my boyfriend is a drug addict in remission for over a year now. When I met him, he was taking methadone for a former drug habit to heroin. After 5 months of our dating he decided he wanted to kick the methado...	eudaimonia	8	523	Nov 21, 2012 by Afraidparent
	Really Rough Afternoon (Preview) Yesterday the ex came by to pick up the boys (16 and 10). The 16yo was stalling, kept on the computer, and ex was like "Okay, I'm leaving without you!" It was tense. He tried to talk to 16 yo...asked him to come with him so they could talk. Son refused. Then, 10yo doesn't like to ex's house withou...	rehprof	15	488	Nov 21, 2012 by tiredtonite
	relapse (Preview) hi, i'm new to this but could do with some help. i've been in a relationship with an alcoholic for 6 years and he's been in recovery for almost the last 2 of those. We have a 2 year old. Our relationship has always been a bit on/off, mostly related to his drinking. He stopped going to meetings a couple of mont...	jane99	3	428	Nov 21, 2012 by canadianguy
	Need a gratitude thread (Preview) Starting my own. 1. Thankful I will not be going through the holidays wondering about A friend - better to be totally out of his life and the lifting of that burden is great. 2. Thankful that the doctors feel they got all my mom's breast cancer out, none of the lymph nodes had any cancer in them, a few long w...	AStrongerMe	6	486	Nov 21, 2012 by Breakingfree
	The recovering addicts home home. clean family blame (Preview) This question is about co-dependency I suppose. Is it a good idea to clean up the mess your addicted loved one/family member leaves behind once they are in a rehab facility? Especially if it is the home of the addict alone- is there wisdom in waiting for the recovering addict to return so they can see the...	laj	1	9133	Nov 21, 2012 by Pushka
	One More Chance to get it Right! (Preview) Welp.. Ya know.. Last November for me was just UCK! And since Loosing my Afather to this Disease in 2008, Novemeber for me has been my "Ism" month... Tomorrow My Afather would be 63, and to think I will never know him older then 58 at times breaks my heart! I often remember my Afather before th...	Jozie	4	551	Nov 21, 2012 by womanfromcalifornia
	That's life.... (Preview) that's what all the people say...Riding high in April; shot down in May..." Remember that tune and the lyrics? It really is fact. I'm living it right now and don't have many complaints while I'm still keeping "my" program as close to "thee" program as I can so the highs...	Jerry F	6	415	Nov 21, 2012 by DavidG
	Can't Believe It's Been A Year (Preview) Thinking back to last Thanksgiving- what was supposed to be a lovely family vacation in the NC mountains turned into the most horrible 5 days of my life due to my AH ruining the entire trip. Fast forward to now, I will be spending thanksgiving at my cousins with my mother and sister and am actually lookin...	TrudyS85	6	414	Nov 21, 2012 by WornOutMrsFixIt
	Thanks everyone (Preview) Thanks to everyone who posted. It reminds me of who I am and what I need to be doing. The verbal and physical abuse is worse lately. More so since I stopped buying into the situation. He wants me to engage. You all reminded me -- detatch with love. Pray. Take MY inventory - not his. Thanks & God bless. Wi...	Still in Surrender Mode	5	392	Nov 21, 2012 by tiredtonite
	Asking for God's guildence (Preview) It's interesting because I am in a situation in which I could completely utilize my will and I know doing this always works out so not fun. So I am very frustrated at the moment with the whole don't just do something sit there ideology. I'm ok with God sending a big lightening bolt and striking my STBAX o...	Pushka	6	645	Nov 21, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Overidentification versus empathy (Preview) I used to think I was a really empathic person. I could identify with people who had problems so well and could almost feel what they were feeling. I also would spiral into a whole circle of emotions about how unfair life was and how I felt I had been given a bad deal. I certainly (even though I have a pract...	orchidlover	5	3667	Nov 21, 2012 by orchidlover
	Did I make a mistake (Preview) Hi All I have been in counselling and Al-anon for a little while now. Also have not talk to my son in 4 week trying to get well. This morning he texted me asking to come up for Thanksgiving and I said yes...would love him to come. Now I may have made a mistake. I want dearly to see my son but I don't want to ge...	Cathyinaz	10	580	Nov 21, 2012 by orchidlover
	Thansgiving w/o a glitch? (Preview) I am hoping that Thanksgiving will go w/o a glitch. It will be just me & my husband like I mentioned before. I think my mom wants to spend time w/ those in my family who don't regularly see her "true" self & soak up the spoiling she gets when she goes down there. Just saying... I will rem...	Hoot Nanny	1	333	Nov 20, 2012 by hotrod
	Stop it! (Preview) Having been in Alanon a while (over 4 years) I am recognizing more than ever places in my life when I just need to tell my own mind to stop all the nonsense of second guessing myself, say what I mean and mean what I say without falter, and set boundaries with love. I say these things because my AH has been on...	souljoy	5	513	Nov 20, 2012 by souljoy
	AL-ANON MEETING TODAY 9AM (EST) (Preview) Al-anon meeting this morning: Topics will be: "Changes (This too shall pass.)"; "Rejection (Real or Imagined)"; "Unreasonable (Without knowing it)".	Desirae	0	302	Nov 20, 2012 by Desirae
	Heading into the holiday with gratitude and appreciation (Preview) My oldest child turns 13 today. Over the weekend, my dad stopped by on his way out of town to take us all out for lunch to celebrate. He gave my daughter a very, very nice gift (combination birthday and Christmas), and then unloaded three big bags of Christmas presents into the trunk of my car. We have h...	stephaniej	3	503	Nov 20, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	Why I hate the Holidays...... (Preview) Hello everyone..... Well, here it is, a few days before the holiday and I am keeping myself busy with prep (cleaning and shopping) for Thursday. Our AD and her son live with us. To the best of our knowledge, she is not drinking, but with no program. She has been working since September, going in ever...	LeenieBeanie	6	787	Nov 20, 2012 by LeenieBeanie
	J.A.D.E (Preview) I wanted to start a discussion topic about JADE. Those of you in program long enough know it stands for: Don't JADE: Justify, Argue, Defend, or Explain I am looking for what people's interpretations are of these words and how they apply it to their recoveries. For me, I feel like the word explain kin...	ilovedogs	10	4429	Nov 20, 2012 by stephaniej
	IT WENT WELL! (Preview) THE GRATITUDE BANQUET WENT WELL. A FUN TIME WAS HAD BY ALL. WE LEFT EARLY BEFORE THE SPEAKER WAS DONE. THE 50/50 WAS OVER 1000 DOLLARS. A LOT OF PEOPLE COULD USE IT THESE DAYS! My MIP buddy made it because of a change of plans. I was so glad to see her there--she is a ray of sunshine to me! I enjoyed the fellowsh...	Hoot Nanny	2	386	Nov 20, 2012 by tiredtonite
	Looking forward to tomorrow (Preview) I finish the day out at work tomorrow and then I'm off until after the holiday. It's not that people haven't been caring at work but I just can't cope with the loss of my mother. I have to just feel these feelings and there's nothing else I can do. I'm finding that the people who have had good relationships...	tiredtonite	11	534	Nov 20, 2012 by orchidlover
	Starting step 5 and feel really crappy about myself..is this normal? (Preview) I just finished Step 4 with my sponsor. I feel closer to my HP and am so thankful to be doing the steps. But the problem is that I am so aware of my defects of character that they seem to be EXPLODING everywhere from me! I am very aware of them but can't stop them and they seem to be getting worse. I feel so bad...	willowtree	4	588	Nov 20, 2012 by orchidlover
	the holidays (Preview) For me the holidays with the ex A (and there were 7 of them) were an opportunity to plunge into despair, resentment, envy and really a huge spiral downward for myself. I spent many of them racked in grief, sobbing and feeling absolutely abandoned, ignored and totally disrespected by him. Naturall...	orchidlover	6	688	Nov 20, 2012 by orchidlover
	I made a joke in bad taste at a F2F meeting tonight :( (Preview) Hi Everyone, Tonight, I was at an Open meeting in my area. There is a member that I speak with every week and we are about the same age. Tonight, I asked with a smile 'When are you speaking?' and they looked a little flustered at my question. I then added 'Because I submitted your name'. The look on their fac...	slogan_jim	10	581	Nov 20, 2012 by DavidG
	Recognizing patterns/Can you relate? (Preview) Growing up in an alcoholic home, and having gone through living with an alcoholic father, you begin to think that youve become good at reading patterns, especially when it comes to drinking patterns.Last night I was out for a friends birthday. We attended a local hockey game, then went for dinner and...	slogan_jim	3	439	Nov 19, 2012 by pinkchip
	Sibling relationships (Preview) My parents were both Alcoholics. Today I had brother and sister and lots of neices and nephews age 6 upwards for lunch and no sooner did i serve the food than my siblings started screaming at each other about Christmas. I tried to shout over them not to do this when all the kids were there but i could hardly...	saskimodo	2	358	Nov 19, 2012 by saskimodo
	getting sucked in (Preview) I'm losing my ground. My A has promised to change several hundred times. I mentioned divorce during the week and she freaked. This is not the life I want. I can't forget that all her promises are empty words. It would be such a relief to believe her and she actually got into recovery. It's not going to happ...	Lyne	4	432	Nov 18, 2012 by mjhyankees
	telling the landlord???? (Preview) I'm trying to make a decision on weather or not i should let my landlord know that my BF is an alcholoc. We rent a property that has to houses and a barn on it. My landlords elderly father lives in the 1st house and she has a horse in the barn with mine so she is on the property twice a day. We do not have written le...	HoofnIt	9	558	Nov 18, 2012 by Pushka
	Always a struggle...... (Preview) I've overall been doing much better, but there are times when I get tired of the struggle. Daughter (11) is in therapy and was able to tell her mother in the therapists office, with me there also, how she feels about alot of things that were bothering her. It was hard for her. She was trembling and ner...	mjhyankees	5	484	Nov 18, 2012 by mjhyankees
	Where to turn? (Preview) First time poster here. Bare with me. My partner, my best friend and the love of my life is an alcoholic. I'll preffice this by saying - I have had no personal experience with alcoholism before. And I'm finding it difficult to understand this disease. A bit of back ground. High achiever. Smart and s...	Aussie-72	7	524	Nov 18, 2012 by pinkchip
	it is that time again! (Preview) Not only is it almost time for Thanksgiving but it is the day of our annual Gratitude Banquet. It is always a fun time for everyone but I can see that I can get a lot of anxiety over it. There are usually about 300 recovering people there--mostly recovering AAs. They do a sobriety countdown w/ people who ha...	Hoot Nanny	0	387	Nov 17, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	How to deal with daughter... (Preview) Well the weekend is here and my AW decided to drink. The drinking has really cut back but she still drinks at home on the weekends. This message is actually about my 24 year old daughter and 1 year old grandson. We watch our grandson quite a bit (I think too much cause my daughter pawns him off on us so she...	hdftby100	3	573	Nov 18, 2012 by hdftby100
	Needing Support (Preview) Hi Everyone, I'm a wreck right now. My A son, 32 yrs old who just recently separated from his wife of 10 years and 4 single digit age children, lost his home, his job, his car, and his drivers license ... all due to alcoholism, called me about 2 months ago, saying he wanted help, had no one else to turn to etc...	John	18	774	Nov 18, 2012 by oldergal
	Maybe some of this is acceptance.... (Preview) I thought I'd detail some thoughts here that were triggered in another's post. I'm now 53 and dealing with all the issues that come with that age. Besides experiencing regret in past life decisions (choice of spouse-really wondering "what was I thinking, WAS I thinking..., career - just don...	mjhyankees	2	512	Nov 17, 2012 by pinkchip
	feeling betrayed (Preview) I am not proud of myself for feeling the way I do. I know I'm being self centered. There are those who have been seriously impacted by my friends relapse but I am being honest, if not particularly spiritual. I have a very close friend. A guy who I see several times a week, and talk to via phone virtually e...	avid	5	588	Nov 17, 2012 by Flame
	Hey! what's happening? (Preview) Well...I AM having a GOOD day so far. My hubby has been in court for one of his AA buddies who was sentenced for something that I would rather not mention in details. He has a LONG road ahead of him. I am so GLAD that my husband is in recovery so HE can be there for someone else. I don't know the results from the f...	Hoot Nanny	1	363	Nov 17, 2012 by mjhyankees
	STEP WORK BOARD (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t51595318/step-3-alanon/-- Edited by hotrod on Saturday 17th of November 2012 09:43:22 AM	hotrod	0	394	Nov 17, 2012 by hotrod
	I Don't Want to Believe Like That (Preview) My daughter was five, in morning kindergarten so she could still get her afternoon nap, and I was invested in getting her to bed early enough for her to be well rested the next morning. And she was a little master at delaying tactics. One night she had lost a tooth and we were putting it under the pillow fo...	Temple	8	614	Nov 17, 2012 by Maxine12stepper
	Does anyone live in Louisiana? (Preview) Al Anon has taught me to look at things realistically, not be trying to make things into what they are not. For instance;"OH sure I will move to La. I am a tough cookie, I can do it." Then research and its hard to live there with asthma and arthritis..... ok now what? I learned one thing, that is i...	Debilyn	4	2390	Nov 17, 2012 by Debilyn
	HP's Surprises! (Preview) Boy when I Look around at the World we Live in, it reminds me to Constantly Count My Blessings... Not just my Daily ones, but also the ones I found Right Here! In Al-Anon/ACOA... Today Marks One Years since I Lost My MIL... She Lost her Battle with Cancer, and Went home to be with her Husband, Mom, Dad &...	Jozie	4	489	Nov 17, 2012 by hotrod
	My wife drank--what it taught me (Preview) After many, many months of apparent sobriety, my wife drank last night. I wasn't aware although I knew she was having a bad night. She called me today to confess, something that has never, ever happened before when she was actively drinking. What this latest experience has taught me is two things--1-...	usedtobeanyer	3	469	Nov 17, 2012 by Pushka
	facing my fear and letting go fear letting go faith (Preview) My sponsor made me log on today to "listen" to some shares today. I still did not know if I belonged here or could relate; still wondered if I needed to do some more "research" before deciding if I needed t his program lol. I still think it's about dealing with the A or dealing with ot...	AllieinAlanon	3	8286	Nov 16, 2012 by AllieinAlanon
	assuming the worst, then finding out I was wrong.... (Preview) I have this thing that I have worked on for years. A fear that anything good is not real. If it is, it will go away. He asked me not to push him away, don't hesitate to tell me anything. This time our relationship allowed me to let whatever happen be fine. Next thing I know I am sharing everything, no longer sh...	Debilyn	4	544	Nov 17, 2012 by Debilyn
	Shunned (Preview) I grew up in an extremely dysfunctional family and while no one was an alcoholic, there was drug abuse among other things that went on. I'm in therapy now and my therapist, recommended I come here so that I see I'm not alone. For as far back as I can remember, and Im 41 now, my life has always been hard. Thes...	Shunned	5	6168	Nov 17, 2012 by Debilyn
	Re-tooling, isolating? (Preview) Hi, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.One thing that Al-Anon has given me and continues to give me over time is clarity. Clarity in my thoughts and clarity in situations. Over my time in Al-Anon I found I have been able to now distinguish which relationships in my life are health...	slogan_jim	6	929	Nov 17, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Update on marriage counseling (Preview) Hi guys, I typed this up on a word document for myself but changed it so I could address it here. We had our 4th session with MT number 2. Some good things are coming out of it, some bad. Basically, I'm seeing my part and seeing where I am unwilling to accept a lot of his character traits and behaviors that ha...	ilovedogs	4	722	Nov 17, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	detach with love (Preview) I first heard this phrase at an alanon meeting just the other day. I understand detachment, and I understand love, But I have no experience with doing both at the same time. Cany anyone share how one goes about doing this. Seriously, I am totally clueless. thank you so much.	avid	12	1710	Nov 17, 2012 by orchidlover
	Re-learning the 3 C's (Preview) I've just had to re-learn these, having been in turmoil for a number of months. No I can't control it, No I didn't cause it, No I can't cure it. This includes those who do not tax their car, get certificate of roadworthiness, my son's school life, my son's criminal activity in the past, people he has hurt i...	maire rua	4	448	Nov 16, 2012 by orchidlover
	I got out of the way (Preview) I just thought I'd share something positive that has happened this past week. I got out of the way of my A brother, I didn't budge, I didn't enable him. I gave him love and detatched as best I could these past 4 months. He has been homeless and has called me numerous times asking for help. During those t...	Sam813	7	545	Nov 16, 2012 by orchidlover
	Alanon Retreat (Preview) There is an alanon 12 step retreat in my city next weekend. There is absolutely NOTHING stopping me from going. I'm just a little freaked out by sharing a room with someone. I will request a single room, but if it is unavailable, i don't know if i want to go. I went to my first face to face this sunday. ...	Sincerely	8	1723	Nov 16, 2012 by JPenney67
	Random insanity.... (Preview) Want to laugh now more than I wanted to kill him then. Story; I'm at work leaf blowing the parking lot and I feel a bump on my back on the leaf blower motor. I turn to the right and there is a large Ford pickup going past me inches from my shoulder. He tried to drive past me in a smaller than truck space ra...	Jerry F	5	508	Nov 16, 2012 by Tasha
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.