Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

souljoy · souljoy

Having been in Alanon a while (over 4 years) I am recognizing more than ever places in my life when I just need to tell my own mind to stop all the nonsense of second guessing myself, say what I mean and mean what I say without falter, and set boundaries with love. I say these things because my AH has been on...

Desirae · Desirae

Al-anon meeting this morning: Topics will be: "Changes (This too shall pass.)"; "Rejection (Real or Imagined)"; "Unreasonable (Without knowing it)".

stephaniej · stephaniej

My oldest child turns 13 today. Over the weekend, my dad stopped by on his way out of town to take us all out for lunch to celebrate. He gave my daughter a very, very nice gift (combination birthday and Christmas), and then unloaded three big bags of Christmas presents into the trunk of my car. We have h...

LeenieBeanie · LeenieBeanie

Hello everyone..... Well, here it is, a few days before the holiday and I am keeping myself busy with prep (cleaning and shopping) for Thursday. Our AD and her son live with us. To the best of our knowledge, she is not drinking, but with no program. She has been working since September, going in ever...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I wanted to start a discussion topic about JADE. Those of you in program long enough know it stands for: Don't JADE: Justify, Argue, Defend, or Explain I am looking for what people's interpretations are of these words and how they apply it to their recoveries. For me, I feel like the word explain kin...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

THE GRATITUDE BANQUET WENT WELL. A FUN TIME WAS HAD BY ALL. WE LEFT EARLY BEFORE THE SPEAKER WAS DONE. THE 50/50 WAS OVER 1000 DOLLARS. A LOT OF PEOPLE COULD USE IT THESE DAYS! My MIP buddy made it because of a change of plans. I was so glad to see her there--she is a ray of sunshine to me! I enjoyed the fellowsh...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I finish the day out at work tomorrow and then I'm off until after the holiday. It's not that people haven't been caring at work but I just can't cope with the loss of my mother. I have to just feel these feelings and there's nothing else I can do. I'm finding that the people who have had good relationships...

willowtree · willowtree

I just finished Step 4 with my sponsor. I feel closer to my HP and am so thankful to be doing the steps. But the problem is that I am so aware of my defects of character that they seem to be EXPLODING everywhere from me! I am very aware of them but can't stop them and they seem to be getting worse. I feel so bad...

orchidlover · orchidlover

For me the holidays with the ex A (and there were 7 of them) were an opportunity to plunge into despair, resentment, envy and really a huge spiral downward for myself. I spent many of them racked in grief, sobbing and feeling absolutely abandoned, ignored and totally disrespected by him. Naturall...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, Tonight, I was at an Open meeting in my area. There is a member that I speak with every week and we are about the same age. Tonight, I asked with a smile 'When are you speaking?' and they looked a little flustered at my question. I then added 'Because I submitted your name'. The look on their fac...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Growing up in an alcoholic home, and having gone through living with an alcoholic father, you begin to think that youve become good at reading patterns, especially when it comes to drinking patterns.Last night I was out for a friends birthday. We attended a local hockey game, then went for dinner and...

saskimodo · saskimodo

My parents were both Alcoholics. Today I had brother and sister and lots of neices and nephews age 6 upwards for lunch and no sooner did i serve the food than my siblings started screaming at each other about Christmas. I tried to shout over them not to do this when all the kids were there but i could hardly...

Lyne · Lyne

I'm losing my ground. My A has promised to change several hundred times. I mentioned divorce during the week and she freaked. This is not the life I want. I can't forget that all her promises are empty words. It would be such a relief to believe her and she actually got into recovery. It's not going to happ...

HoofnIt · HoofnIt

I'm trying to make a decision on weather or not i should let my landlord know that my BF is an alcholoc. We rent a property that has to houses and a barn on it. My landlords elderly father lives in the 1st house and she has a horse in the barn with mine so she is on the property twice a day. We do not have written le...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I've overall been doing much better, but there are times when I get tired of the struggle. Daughter (11) is in therapy and was able to tell her mother in the therapists office, with me there also, how she feels about alot of things that were bothering her. It was hard for her. She was trembling and ner...

Aussie-72 · Aussie-72

First time poster here. Bare with me. My partner, my best friend and the love of my life is an alcoholic. I'll preffice this by saying - I have had no personal experience with alcoholism before. And I'm finding it difficult to understand this disease. A bit of back ground. High achiever. Smart and s...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Not only is it almost time for Thanksgiving but it is the day of our annual Gratitude Banquet. It is always a fun time for everyone but I can see that I can get a lot of anxiety over it. There are usually about 300 recovering people there--mostly recovering AAs. They do a sobriety countdown w/ people who ha...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

Well the weekend is here and my AW decided to drink. The drinking has really cut back but she still drinks at home on the weekends. This message is actually about my 24 year old daughter and 1 year old grandson. We watch our grandson quite a bit (I think too much cause my daughter pawns him off on us so she...

John · John

Hi Everyone, I'm a wreck right now. My A son, 32 yrs old who just recently separated from his wife of 10 years and 4 single digit age children, lost his home, his job, his car, and his drivers license ... all due to alcoholism, called me about 2 months ago, saying he wanted help, had no one else to turn to etc...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I thought I'd detail some thoughts here that were triggered in another's post. I'm now 53 and dealing with all the issues that come with that age. Besides experiencing regret in past life decisions (choice of spouse-really wondering "what was I thinking, WAS I thinking..., career - just don...

avid · avid

I am not proud of myself for feeling the way I do. I know I'm being self centered. There are those who have been seriously impacted by my friends relapse but I am being honest, if not particularly spiritual. I have a very close friend. A guy who I see several times a week, and talk to via phone virtually e...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Well...I AM having a GOOD day so far. My hubby has been in court for one of his AA buddies who was sentenced for something that I would rather not mention in details. He has a LONG road ahead of him. I am so GLAD that my husband is in recovery so HE can be there for someone else. I don't know the results from the f...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t51595318/step-3-alanon/-- Edited by hotrod on Saturday 17th of November 2012 09:43:22 AM

Temple · Temple

My daughter was five, in morning kindergarten so she could still get her afternoon nap, and I was invested in getting her to bed early enough for her to be well rested the next morning. And she was a little master at delaying tactics. One night she had lost a tooth and we were putting it under the pillow fo...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Al Anon has taught me to look at things realistically, not be trying to make things into what they are not. For instance;"OH sure I will move to La. I am a tough cookie, I can do it." Then research and its hard to live there with asthma and arthritis..... ok now what? I learned one thing, that is i...

Jozie · Jozie

Boy when I Look around at the World we Live in, it reminds me to Constantly Count My Blessings... Not just my Daily ones, but also the ones I found Right Here! In Al-Anon/ACOA... Today Marks One Years since I Lost My MIL... She Lost her Battle with Cancer, and Went home to be with her Husband, Mom, Dad &...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

After many, many months of apparent sobriety, my wife drank last night. I wasn't aware although I knew she was having a bad night. She called me today to confess, something that has never, ever happened before when she was actively drinking. What this latest experience has taught me is two things--1-...

AllieinAlanon · AllieinAlanon

My sponsor made me log on today to "listen" to some shares today. I still did not know if I belonged here or could relate; still wondered if I needed to do some more "research" before deciding if I needed t his program lol. I still think it's about dealing with the A or dealing with ot...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I have this thing that I have worked on for years. A fear that anything good is not real. If it is, it will go away. He asked me not to push him away, don't hesitate to tell me anything. This time our relationship allowed me to let whatever happen be fine. Next thing I know I am sharing everything, no longer sh...

Shunned · Shunned

I grew up in an extremely dysfunctional family and while no one was an alcoholic, there was drug abuse among other things that went on. I'm in therapy now and my therapist, recommended I come here so that I see I'm not alone. For as far back as I can remember, and Im 41 now, my life has always been hard. Thes...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.One thing that Al-Anon has given me and continues to give me over time is clarity. Clarity in my thoughts and clarity in situations. Over my time in Al-Anon I found I have been able to now distinguish which relationships in my life are health...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Hi guys, I typed this up on a word document for myself but changed it so I could address it here. We had our 4th session with MT number 2. Some good things are coming out of it, some bad. Basically, I'm seeing my part and seeing where I am unwilling to accept a lot of his character traits and behaviors that ha...

avid · avid

I first heard this phrase at an alanon meeting just the other day. I understand detachment, and I understand love, But I have no experience with doing both at the same time. Cany anyone share how one goes about doing this. Seriously, I am totally clueless. thank you so much.

maire rua · maire rua

I've just had to re-learn these, having been in turmoil for a number of months. No I can't control it, No I didn't cause it, No I can't cure it. This includes those who do not tax their car, get certificate of roadworthiness, my son's school life, my son's criminal activity in the past, people he has hurt i...

Sam813 · Sam813

I just thought I'd share something positive that has happened this past week. I got out of the way of my A brother, I didn't budge, I didn't enable him. I gave him love and detatched as best I could these past 4 months. He has been homeless and has called me numerous times asking for help. During those t...

Sincerely · Sincerely

There is an alanon 12 step retreat in my city next weekend. There is absolutely NOTHING stopping me from going. I'm just a little freaked out by sharing a room with someone. I will request a single room, but if it is unavailable, i don't know if i want to go. I went to my first face to face this sunday. ...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Want to laugh now more than I wanted to kill him then. Story; I'm at work leaf blowing the parking lot and I feel a bump on my back on the leaf blower motor. I turn to the right and there is a large Ford pickup going past me inches from my shoulder. He tried to drive past me in a smaller than truck space ra...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I know this is something no one can answer for me. Im more thinking out loud and venting, I guess? My seven yr old knows the cycle with my AH as well as I do it seems. A lil background here. I adopted my son when he was 22 months old. His birth mother was an addict during pregnancy, after pregnancy and eventual...

glad lee · glad lee

I have been in communication with my ex AH recently, due to the fact that my accountant insists we resolve an issue from our divorce once and for all, my exAH has not taken action on dividing some assets, (company stock) which he was supposed to do immediately following our divorce, over 4 years ago......

hdftby100 · hdftby100

So of all days yesterday and I could not access the board! My AW called me mid morning to say she was going home from work because she was taking the day off. She said she was stopping by the grocery store before going to the house. I immediately felt deja vu coming on. The last time this happened I found...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I am such a dipstick. It's all cool believe me. Today this did hit me. Even though you love a non A, if they have been with an A, they are addicted to that A. omg do you see what I am trying to say? Now I am wondering, am I enabling him? Do I give him a soft place to land? Does it make the progress slower cuz he has me t...

deniselt · deniselt

Hello, I'm new here. I'm the mother of a 27 year old son. He has been out of a 28 day rehab program solidly based in AA, he's been home for a little over three weeks. Sadly he's relapsed, and back in the hospital going through detox again. We had plans to go to Austin to see my oldest son, leaving on Sunday...

Jenv · Jenv

I posted a while back about my sister assaulting me at the time of her daughters HS Graduation and I am still struggling with some issues around the whole thing. The drunk sister is still going through the court process because of the assault and interfering with a police officer. I have been in contact...

Pushka · Pushka

Truth be known I can be just as dysfunctional and with crazy behavior as I was at the very first alanon meeting I attended. I was reminded of this last night when all this garbage with the stbax started coming down. The thing that always shocks me is that other women who are older than I am feeling as if I am...

respect · respect

Hello, I haven't written on here in a very long time but have found myself in a curious spot so I thought I'd write to see if I could get some feedback. I was married to a pill addict. Long story short there were many years of lies, theft, sickness...everything that comes with addiction. In July of 2011 my h...

Lyne · Lyne

I feel stronger since I am connected with you guys and my therapist again-he is a CASAC & that helps very much as he gets my spouse. Now every so often my spouse goes out with a couple and she always drinks and lies. I feel like I can handle it better for the next time. I usually get fuming mad, confron...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

I am 45 and am starting to deal with the fact that I have never ever had a truly healthy relationship. From the time I was 15 I have only chosen men who didn't want me for anything other than sex, who physically abused me, we're drug addicts or alcoholics, who cheated on me and who were emotionally unavaila...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Here I am two years away from the intensity of the madness, one plus year divorced. Song in my head spinning around - Dido, I will go down with this ship. Looked up the lyrics to see if they meant what I thought they said, yup, I will go down with this ship, I will put up my hands and surrender, there will be no w...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Thanks for your prayers, condolences and esh. I am so glad to be home again and back to my daily life. I am going back to work tomorrow. It'll be good to see everyone and return to somewhat of a routine. I have a very understanding boss who called today to ask how I was and told me I could take more time off if...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

These days w/ a lot to be afraid of I am trying to live w/ no fear. It is hard when life is so uncertain. Some things just scare me because I am afraid of the future & then I have to remind myself to just live one day a time. So, I try not to future-trip. I hope that some of you can really relate to all I am feelin...

Loupiness · Loupiness

My Friends, With the exception of a few "drive bys", I have been away from this board for about a year and a half. In addition to feeling a bit overwhelmed with work, parenting, and wicked insomnia, I decided I was at a point where I was stuck, and needed to shift my energy from words to action. T...

Pushka · Pushka

My STBAX has decided to threaten me since I asked him (well I probably told him .. LOL!!) that I needed him to take the kids to school tomorrow. My van is having issues, between the transmission and the heat being out we are getting the first frost tomorrow. He was FURIOUS. I got the most horrid text th...

Maxine12stepper · Maxine12stepper

Hi ya'll, I hope you are all well and happy today, I just wanted to let you know I finally got to my first face to face meeting and I absolutely loved it, I cant express how nervous I was on my way there, but with help from my HP I got there in one piece, lol, I met some lovely people and while the al anon meeting w...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Feels like a long time since I been here. I been busy. But I still keep in contact with some of the people here so its not like I'm isolating. Got a funny story for ya. About 25 years ago, this guy I know (in AA) was working in a recovery home for alcoholics, and like most A's he had an idea a minute about how thin...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family...just checking in before going to bed after a day of being still and quiet which worked wonders at taking the pain out of my back. I zoomed into Stephaniej's thread and read and decided to continue it with my own ESH. I'm a caller and a do unto others as I would want them to do for me. My exp...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

Sometimes life is great, sometimes it's rough. I'm in a rough patch and know it won't be forever. My mom has surgery for breast cancer on Thursday and I can't be there, I will be in So Cal visiting my son who is living with his aunt down there, the trip was planned and paid for before she was even diagnosed...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

http://youtu.be/d_sK086rHsI This is my 14 year old singing her second song she was brave enough to post on youtube and I am so proud of the young woman she is. Please give it a listen if you have time. She has grown from a very timid quiet person to coming out of her shell enough to do this, huge step for her...

Rosie08 · Rosie08

I am in the middle of a terrible place mentally and I do plan on starting a live Al Anon group this week, I just have to locate one I can get to since I work 40 hrs a week and am caregiver for my elderly mother. Anyway, when my husband was actively drinking he was verbally and physically abusive . . I had him arre...

avid · avid

Last year my daughter had a healthy baby boy. Wonderful. Except that shortly before she gave birth her husband who is always drinking, got himself fired from a good job for repeatedly sneaking home early. She went back to work after 3 months and the "plan" was that he would stay home wit...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

I finally lost it. I have been doing so well at beng detached and working on me but today was the end of that streak. I blew up at the AH because my mom and dad have gotten on my last nerve today and the reality that I am 46 years old and living in 1 room in their house and have nowhere else to go at the moment while t...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Stop it! (Preview) Having been in Alanon a while (over 4 years) I am recognizing more than ever places in my life when I just need to tell my own mind to stop all the nonsense of second guessing myself, say what I mean and mean what I say without falter, and set boundaries with love. I say these things because my AH has been on...	souljoy	5	448	Nov 20, 2012 by souljoy
	AL-ANON MEETING TODAY 9AM (EST) (Preview) Al-anon meeting this morning: Topics will be: "Changes (This too shall pass.)"; "Rejection (Real or Imagined)"; "Unreasonable (Without knowing it)".	Desirae	0	243	Nov 20, 2012 by Desirae
	Heading into the holiday with gratitude and appreciation (Preview) My oldest child turns 13 today. Over the weekend, my dad stopped by on his way out of town to take us all out for lunch to celebrate. He gave my daughter a very, very nice gift (combination birthday and Christmas), and then unloaded three big bags of Christmas presents into the trunk of my car. We have h...	stephaniej	3	436	Nov 20, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	Why I hate the Holidays...... (Preview) Hello everyone..... Well, here it is, a few days before the holiday and I am keeping myself busy with prep (cleaning and shopping) for Thursday. Our AD and her son live with us. To the best of our knowledge, she is not drinking, but with no program. She has been working since September, going in ever...	LeenieBeanie	6	705	Nov 20, 2012 by LeenieBeanie
	J.A.D.E (Preview) I wanted to start a discussion topic about JADE. Those of you in program long enough know it stands for: Don't JADE: Justify, Argue, Defend, or Explain I am looking for what people's interpretations are of these words and how they apply it to their recoveries. For me, I feel like the word explain kin...	ilovedogs	10	3881	Nov 20, 2012 by stephaniej
	IT WENT WELL! (Preview) THE GRATITUDE BANQUET WENT WELL. A FUN TIME WAS HAD BY ALL. WE LEFT EARLY BEFORE THE SPEAKER WAS DONE. THE 50/50 WAS OVER 1000 DOLLARS. A LOT OF PEOPLE COULD USE IT THESE DAYS! My MIP buddy made it because of a change of plans. I was so glad to see her there--she is a ray of sunshine to me! I enjoyed the fellowsh...	Hoot Nanny	2	325	Nov 20, 2012 by tiredtonite
	Looking forward to tomorrow (Preview) I finish the day out at work tomorrow and then I'm off until after the holiday. It's not that people haven't been caring at work but I just can't cope with the loss of my mother. I have to just feel these feelings and there's nothing else I can do. I'm finding that the people who have had good relationships...	tiredtonite	11	481	Nov 20, 2012 by orchidlover
	Starting step 5 and feel really crappy about myself..is this normal? (Preview) I just finished Step 4 with my sponsor. I feel closer to my HP and am so thankful to be doing the steps. But the problem is that I am so aware of my defects of character that they seem to be EXPLODING everywhere from me! I am very aware of them but can't stop them and they seem to be getting worse. I feel so bad...	willowtree	4	532	Nov 20, 2012 by orchidlover
	the holidays (Preview) For me the holidays with the ex A (and there were 7 of them) were an opportunity to plunge into despair, resentment, envy and really a huge spiral downward for myself. I spent many of them racked in grief, sobbing and feeling absolutely abandoned, ignored and totally disrespected by him. Naturall...	orchidlover	6	625	Nov 20, 2012 by orchidlover
	I made a joke in bad taste at a F2F meeting tonight :( (Preview) Hi Everyone, Tonight, I was at an Open meeting in my area. There is a member that I speak with every week and we are about the same age. Tonight, I asked with a smile 'When are you speaking?' and they looked a little flustered at my question. I then added 'Because I submitted your name'. The look on their fac...	slogan_jim	10	524	Nov 20, 2012 by DavidG
	Recognizing patterns/Can you relate? (Preview) Growing up in an alcoholic home, and having gone through living with an alcoholic father, you begin to think that youve become good at reading patterns, especially when it comes to drinking patterns.Last night I was out for a friends birthday. We attended a local hockey game, then went for dinner and...	slogan_jim	3	385	Nov 19, 2012 by pinkchip
	Sibling relationships (Preview) My parents were both Alcoholics. Today I had brother and sister and lots of neices and nephews age 6 upwards for lunch and no sooner did i serve the food than my siblings started screaming at each other about Christmas. I tried to shout over them not to do this when all the kids were there but i could hardly...	saskimodo	2	300	Nov 19, 2012 by saskimodo
	getting sucked in (Preview) I'm losing my ground. My A has promised to change several hundred times. I mentioned divorce during the week and she freaked. This is not the life I want. I can't forget that all her promises are empty words. It would be such a relief to believe her and she actually got into recovery. It's not going to happ...	Lyne	4	376	Nov 18, 2012 by mjhyankees
	telling the landlord???? (Preview) I'm trying to make a decision on weather or not i should let my landlord know that my BF is an alcholoc. We rent a property that has to houses and a barn on it. My landlords elderly father lives in the 1st house and she has a horse in the barn with mine so she is on the property twice a day. We do not have written le...	HoofnIt	9	497	Nov 18, 2012 by Pushka
	Always a struggle...... (Preview) I've overall been doing much better, but there are times when I get tired of the struggle. Daughter (11) is in therapy and was able to tell her mother in the therapists office, with me there also, how she feels about alot of things that were bothering her. It was hard for her. She was trembling and ner...	mjhyankees	5	430	Nov 18, 2012 by mjhyankees
	Where to turn? (Preview) First time poster here. Bare with me. My partner, my best friend and the love of my life is an alcoholic. I'll preffice this by saying - I have had no personal experience with alcoholism before. And I'm finding it difficult to understand this disease. A bit of back ground. High achiever. Smart and s...	Aussie-72	7	465	Nov 18, 2012 by pinkchip
	it is that time again! (Preview) Not only is it almost time for Thanksgiving but it is the day of our annual Gratitude Banquet. It is always a fun time for everyone but I can see that I can get a lot of anxiety over it. There are usually about 300 recovering people there--mostly recovering AAs. They do a sobriety countdown w/ people who ha...	Hoot Nanny	0	331	Nov 17, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	How to deal with daughter... (Preview) Well the weekend is here and my AW decided to drink. The drinking has really cut back but she still drinks at home on the weekends. This message is actually about my 24 year old daughter and 1 year old grandson. We watch our grandson quite a bit (I think too much cause my daughter pawns him off on us so she...	hdftby100	3	510	Nov 18, 2012 by hdftby100
	Needing Support (Preview) Hi Everyone, I'm a wreck right now. My A son, 32 yrs old who just recently separated from his wife of 10 years and 4 single digit age children, lost his home, his job, his car, and his drivers license ... all due to alcoholism, called me about 2 months ago, saying he wanted help, had no one else to turn to etc...	John	18	699	Nov 18, 2012 by oldergal
	Maybe some of this is acceptance.... (Preview) I thought I'd detail some thoughts here that were triggered in another's post. I'm now 53 and dealing with all the issues that come with that age. Besides experiencing regret in past life decisions (choice of spouse-really wondering "what was I thinking, WAS I thinking..., career - just don...	mjhyankees	2	454	Nov 17, 2012 by pinkchip
	feeling betrayed (Preview) I am not proud of myself for feeling the way I do. I know I'm being self centered. There are those who have been seriously impacted by my friends relapse but I am being honest, if not particularly spiritual. I have a very close friend. A guy who I see several times a week, and talk to via phone virtually e...	avid	5	531	Nov 17, 2012 by Flame
	Hey! what's happening? (Preview) Well...I AM having a GOOD day so far. My hubby has been in court for one of his AA buddies who was sentenced for something that I would rather not mention in details. He has a LONG road ahead of him. I am so GLAD that my husband is in recovery so HE can be there for someone else. I don't know the results from the f...	Hoot Nanny	1	305	Nov 17, 2012 by mjhyankees
	STEP WORK BOARD (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t51595318/step-3-alanon/-- Edited by hotrod on Saturday 17th of November 2012 09:43:22 AM	hotrod	0	336	Nov 17, 2012 by hotrod
	I Don't Want to Believe Like That (Preview) My daughter was five, in morning kindergarten so she could still get her afternoon nap, and I was invested in getting her to bed early enough for her to be well rested the next morning. And she was a little master at delaying tactics. One night she had lost a tooth and we were putting it under the pillow fo...	Temple	8	556	Nov 17, 2012 by Maxine12stepper
	Does anyone live in Louisiana? (Preview) Al Anon has taught me to look at things realistically, not be trying to make things into what they are not. For instance;"OH sure I will move to La. I am a tough cookie, I can do it." Then research and its hard to live there with asthma and arthritis..... ok now what? I learned one thing, that is i...	Debilyn	4	2124	Nov 17, 2012 by Debilyn
	HP's Surprises! (Preview) Boy when I Look around at the World we Live in, it reminds me to Constantly Count My Blessings... Not just my Daily ones, but also the ones I found Right Here! In Al-Anon/ACOA... Today Marks One Years since I Lost My MIL... She Lost her Battle with Cancer, and Went home to be with her Husband, Mom, Dad &...	Jozie	4	436	Nov 17, 2012 by hotrod
	My wife drank--what it taught me (Preview) After many, many months of apparent sobriety, my wife drank last night. I wasn't aware although I knew she was having a bad night. She called me today to confess, something that has never, ever happened before when she was actively drinking. What this latest experience has taught me is two things--1-...	usedtobeanyer	3	416	Nov 17, 2012 by Pushka
	facing my fear and letting go fear letting go faith (Preview) My sponsor made me log on today to "listen" to some shares today. I still did not know if I belonged here or could relate; still wondered if I needed to do some more "research" before deciding if I needed t his program lol. I still think it's about dealing with the A or dealing with ot...	AllieinAlanon	3	7512	Nov 16, 2012 by AllieinAlanon
	assuming the worst, then finding out I was wrong.... (Preview) I have this thing that I have worked on for years. A fear that anything good is not real. If it is, it will go away. He asked me not to push him away, don't hesitate to tell me anything. This time our relationship allowed me to let whatever happen be fine. Next thing I know I am sharing everything, no longer sh...	Debilyn	4	489	Nov 17, 2012 by Debilyn
	Shunned (Preview) I grew up in an extremely dysfunctional family and while no one was an alcoholic, there was drug abuse among other things that went on. I'm in therapy now and my therapist, recommended I come here so that I see I'm not alone. For as far back as I can remember, and Im 41 now, my life has always been hard. Thes...	Shunned	5	5727	Nov 17, 2012 by Debilyn
	Re-tooling, isolating? (Preview) Hi, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.One thing that Al-Anon has given me and continues to give me over time is clarity. Clarity in my thoughts and clarity in situations. Over my time in Al-Anon I found I have been able to now distinguish which relationships in my life are health...	slogan_jim	6	872	Nov 17, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Update on marriage counseling (Preview) Hi guys, I typed this up on a word document for myself but changed it so I could address it here. We had our 4th session with MT number 2. Some good things are coming out of it, some bad. Basically, I'm seeing my part and seeing where I am unwilling to accept a lot of his character traits and behaviors that ha...	ilovedogs	4	670	Nov 17, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	detach with love (Preview) I first heard this phrase at an alanon meeting just the other day. I understand detachment, and I understand love, But I have no experience with doing both at the same time. Cany anyone share how one goes about doing this. Seriously, I am totally clueless. thank you so much.	avid	12	1451	Nov 17, 2012 by orchidlover
	Re-learning the 3 C's (Preview) I've just had to re-learn these, having been in turmoil for a number of months. No I can't control it, No I didn't cause it, No I can't cure it. This includes those who do not tax their car, get certificate of roadworthiness, my son's school life, my son's criminal activity in the past, people he has hurt i...	maire rua	4	392	Nov 16, 2012 by orchidlover
	I got out of the way (Preview) I just thought I'd share something positive that has happened this past week. I got out of the way of my A brother, I didn't budge, I didn't enable him. I gave him love and detatched as best I could these past 4 months. He has been homeless and has called me numerous times asking for help. During those t...	Sam813	7	491	Nov 16, 2012 by orchidlover
	Alanon Retreat (Preview) There is an alanon 12 step retreat in my city next weekend. There is absolutely NOTHING stopping me from going. I'm just a little freaked out by sharing a room with someone. I will request a single room, but if it is unavailable, i don't know if i want to go. I went to my first face to face this sunday. ...	Sincerely	8	1664	Nov 16, 2012 by JPenney67
	Random insanity.... (Preview) Want to laugh now more than I wanted to kill him then. Story; I'm at work leaf blowing the parking lot and I feel a bump on my back on the leaf blower motor. I turn to the right and there is a large Ford pickup going past me inches from my shoulder. He tried to drive past me in a smaller than truck space ra...	Jerry F	5	447	Nov 16, 2012 by Tasha
	unsure what is better or worse for my 7yr old (Preview) I know this is something no one can answer for me. Im more thinking out loud and venting, I guess? My seven yr old knows the cycle with my AH as well as I do it seems. A lil background here. I adopted my son when he was 22 months old. His birth mother was an addict during pregnancy, after pregnancy and eventual...	sweeetr	4	479	Nov 16, 2012 by rehprof
	The next right thing (Preview) I have been in communication with my ex AH recently, due to the fact that my accountant insists we resolve an issue from our divorce once and for all, my exAH has not taken action on dividing some assets, (company stock) which he was supposed to do immediately following our divorce, over 4 years ago......	glad lee	5	701	Nov 16, 2012 by AllieinAlanon
	Deja Vu Yesterday... (Preview) So of all days yesterday and I could not access the board! My AW called me mid morning to say she was going home from work because she was taking the day off. She said she was stopping by the grocery store before going to the house. I immediately felt deja vu coming on. The last time this happened I found...	hdftby100	4	376	Nov 16, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	thinking about a non a who is addicted to his a ? huh? (Preview) I am such a dipstick. It's all cool believe me. Today this did hit me. Even though you love a non A, if they have been with an A, they are addicted to that A. omg do you see what I am trying to say? Now I am wondering, am I enabling him? Do I give him a soft place to land? Does it make the progress slower cuz he has me t...	Debilyn	8	562	Nov 15, 2012 by blueyz
	What to do? (Preview) Hello, I'm new here. I'm the mother of a 27 year old son. He has been out of a 28 day rehab program solidly based in AA, he's been home for a little over three weeks. Sadly he's relapsed, and back in the hospital going through detox again. We had plans to go to Austin to see my oldest son, leaving on Sunday...	deniselt	5	528	Nov 15, 2012 by hdftby100
	Sisters (Preview) I posted a while back about my sister assaulting me at the time of her daughters HS Graduation and I am still struggling with some issues around the whole thing. The drunk sister is still going through the court process because of the assault and interfering with a police officer. I have been in contact...	Jenv	6	398	Nov 14, 2012 by Jenv
	On any given day .. (Preview) Truth be known I can be just as dysfunctional and with crazy behavior as I was at the very first alanon meeting I attended. I was reminded of this last night when all this garbage with the stbax started coming down. The thing that always shocks me is that other women who are older than I am feeling as if I am...	Pushka	7	556	Nov 15, 2012 by orchidlover
	1 year later...a little lengthy (Preview) Hello, I haven't written on here in a very long time but have found myself in a curious spot so I thought I'd write to see if I could get some feedback. I was married to a pill addict. Long story short there were many years of lies, theft, sickness...everything that comes with addiction. In July of 2011 my h...	respect	9	558	Nov 15, 2012 by Jerry F
	drinking buddies (Preview) I feel stronger since I am connected with you guys and my therapist again-he is a CASAC & that helps very much as he gets my spouse. Now every so often my spouse goes out with a couple and she always drinks and lies. I feel like I can handle it better for the next time. I usually get fuming mad, confron...	Lyne	5	1839	Nov 15, 2012 by orchidlover
	Tired of carrying this baggage (Preview) I am 45 and am starting to deal with the fact that I have never ever had a truly healthy relationship. From the time I was 15 I have only chosen men who didn't want me for anything other than sex, who physically abused me, we're drug addicts or alcoholics, who cheated on me and who were emotionally unavaila...	TrudyS85	11	747	Nov 15, 2012 by orchidlover
	Acknowledging how I still feel (Preview) Here I am two years away from the intensity of the madness, one plus year divorced. Song in my head spinning around - Dido, I will go down with this ship. Looked up the lyrics to see if they meant what I thought they said, yup, I will go down with this ship, I will put up my hands and surrender, there will be no w...	likemyheart	18	650	Nov 15, 2012 by orchidlover
	Taking it a day at a time (Preview) Thanks for your prayers, condolences and esh. I am so glad to be home again and back to my daily life. I am going back to work tomorrow. It'll be good to see everyone and return to somewhat of a routine. I have a very understanding boss who called today to ask how I was and told me I could take more time off if...	tiredtonite	7	612	Nov 15, 2012 by orchidlover
	trying to live w/ NO FEAR! (Preview) These days w/ a lot to be afraid of I am trying to live w/ no fear. It is hard when life is so uncertain. Some things just scare me because I am afraid of the future & then I have to remind myself to just live one day a time. So, I try not to future-trip. I hope that some of you can really relate to all I am feelin...	Hoot Nanny	3	391	Nov 14, 2012 by hotrod
	Coming back (Preview) My Friends, With the exception of a few "drive bys", I have been away from this board for about a year and a half. In addition to feeling a bit overwhelmed with work, parenting, and wicked insomnia, I decided I was at a point where I was stuck, and needed to shift my energy from words to action. T...	Loupiness	3	434	Nov 14, 2012 by Jerry F
	Completely FLOORED!! (Preview) My STBAX has decided to threaten me since I asked him (well I probably told him .. LOL!!) that I needed him to take the kids to school tomorrow. My van is having issues, between the transmission and the heat being out we are getting the first frost tomorrow. He was FURIOUS. I got the most horrid text th...	Pushka	18	559	Nov 14, 2012 by hdftby100
	First meeting was great :) (Preview) Hi ya'll, I hope you are all well and happy today, I just wanted to let you know I finally got to my first face to face meeting and I absolutely loved it, I cant express how nervous I was on my way there, but with help from my HP I got there in one piece, lol, I met some lovely people and while the al anon meeting w...	Maxine12stepper	6	368	Nov 14, 2012 by hdftby100
	When You Get Your Own House (Preview) Feels like a long time since I been here. I been busy. But I still keep in contact with some of the people here so its not like I'm isolating. Got a funny story for ya. About 25 years ago, this guy I know (in AA) was working in a recovery home for alcoholics, and like most A's he had an idea a minute about how thin...	Wolfie55	5	521	Nov 14, 2012 by tiredtonite
	Drinking and Driving cont. (Preview) Aloha Family...just checking in before going to bed after a day of being still and quiet which worked wonders at taking the pain out of my back. I zoomed into Stephaniej's thread and read and decided to continue it with my own ESH. I'm a caller and a do unto others as I would want them to do for me. My exp...	Jerry F	6	482	Nov 14, 2012 by orchidlover
	It's quiet for a little while (Preview) Sometimes life is great, sometimes it's rough. I'm in a rough patch and know it won't be forever. My mom has surgery for breast cancer on Thursday and I can't be there, I will be in So Cal visiting my son who is living with his aunt down there, the trip was planned and paid for before she was even diagnosed...	AStrongerMe	4	408	Nov 14, 2012 by Wolfie55
	She did it again and WOW (Preview) http://youtu.be/d_sK086rHsI This is my 14 year old singing her second song she was brave enough to post on youtube and I am so proud of the young woman she is. Please give it a listen if you have time. She has grown from a very timid quiet person to coming out of her shell enough to do this, huge step for her...	Breakingfree	6	570	Nov 14, 2012 by Debilyn
	My dry drunk spouse (Preview) I am in the middle of a terrible place mentally and I do plan on starting a live Al Anon group this week, I just have to locate one I can get to since I work 40 hrs a week and am caregiver for my elderly mother. Anyway, when my husband was actively drinking he was verbally and physically abusive . . I had him arre...	Rosie08	12	1475	Nov 14, 2012 by Rosie08
	newcomer feeling very angry (Preview) Last year my daughter had a healthy baby boy. Wonderful. Except that shortly before she gave birth her husband who is always drinking, got himself fired from a good job for repeatedly sneaking home early. She went back to work after 3 months and the "plan" was that he would stay home wit...	avid	8	546	Nov 13, 2012 by avid
	Cherry on Top of a Craptacular Week (Preview) I finally lost it. I have been doing so well at beng detached and working on me but today was the end of that streak. I blew up at the AH because my mom and dad have gotten on my last nerve today and the reality that I am 46 years old and living in 1 room in their house and have nowhere else to go at the moment while t...	WornOutMrsFixIt	12	608	Nov 13, 2012 by Pushka
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.