2havehope: I have bipolar disorder & have lived a fairly normal life. I am just not an alcoholic or a mother. I hope you have been or will be able to find more support from mother's like you. Try to attend Alanon meetings if you can. There is so much support there.

Keep up the good fight!

Kathleen

I believe the rooms of Al-Anon are open to anyone who has been affected by another's drinking (or drugs).  Since people who struggle with bipolar often "self-medicate" with alcoholc and drugs, you will find many with similar situations in the rooms of Al-Anon.  And I don't mean to play down the problems mental illness can cause, but many of us find that our alcoholics begin to act so insane that it's much as if they have a diagnosable disorder even if it's technically "only" alcoholism.

I have known some people who have had the extra challenges of family members with severe mental illness, such as schizophrenia or badly controlled bipolar, who also felt that support groups at NAMI (National Alliance for Mental Health) were invaluable for finding other people who had been through similar things.  I haven't been confronted with this particular struggle so I can't weigh in on that.

You will find much ESH (Experience, Strength, and Hope) here.  I hope you can also find some face-to-face meetings -- it can be so valuable to have a local support system.  Hugs.

Welcome, I just wanted to say that Bipolar disorder is hugely common among alcoholics. It is also hugely overdiagnosed and misdiagnosed because the binging and patterns resemble mania and the hungover/remorse patterns resemble depression - Hence, a misdiagnosis of bipolar disorder. Rapid mood swings are common throughout the 1st and even 2nd year sober. You (and he) will not know how serious his mental health problem are if and until he gets sober. I thought I had these horrible mental health issues. I knew I had depression and thought I might have had bipolar disorder. A great deal of my "mental health" problems cleared up with therapy and AA.

Hence, I will say that your son has illnesses that he needs to treat and to become the best and most capable person, he needs to learn to treat them on his own. My parents have helped me some, but I have always had a job, my own place to live....The general rule to follow as to know when you are helping versus enabling is to stand back and watch if someone is really working to help themselves. In that case, helping them to help themselves might be good. Helping them to remain a grown man/baby is not. Also, a good rule of thumb is that if it is something they could do on their own feasibly, then it's enabling to do it for them.

It hurts to watch your kids suffer. I have suffered with my mental health and alcoholism too. I think having reached some stability and long term sobriety now, I'm glad my parents didn't swoop in and take care of me like a baby. If you act like your son is a big victim of his circumstances, he will act that way too.