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how to detach from alcoholic ex/father of my toddler?
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I'm writing this to reach out to others and seek any advice/helpful words/support/book recommendations. Like many others here, I grew up with an alcoholic parent. My father would try to hide his drinking from the family by drinking in the garage. But even as a child, I knew what he was doi...
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alanonnewbiew
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4
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511
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When can you ask to have a sponser?
(Preview)
My dad and I still have 2 more meetings to go until we get to 6...but I wanted to know when can you ask to have a sponser and how do I go about doing this? Thanks
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phoenixmagicgirl
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2
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286
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I take back my forgivness nothing is changing
(Preview)
Please give me my high power back I had him for one day to get me by and it seams now I'm walking down a empty path . This morning a back rub leads to yada yada . When ah sober no I don't want to.. He is selfish and thinks of his needs. Just when he said he change work on the controlling behaviors and god if you could...
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Ms co-dependent
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6
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411
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Counciling for me
(Preview)
I have been going to a Counciler (for me!) he is wonderful. He's like my face to face and I intend on bringing my son. I'm trying to learn how to parent better being married to active ah. And also my son has strong addiction running on both sides of his biological parents and I want him to have help learning t...
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sweeetr
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4
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358
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Need some Experience Strength and Hope
(Preview)
My son's graduation from high school is in a month, today I thought, well I should be sending out invitations to friends and we should have a dinner at my house after the graduation at 1 p.m. don't know how long it will be. I will have my new furniture by then and have a few friends I would like to invite over....
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mercedes1959
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16
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708
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Taking care of "me"
(Preview)
Since my last posting, I really had no choice but to leave.....again.....for the 5th time in 7 years. However, what's done had to have been done, and for that I am proud. I love the guy, but finally filed for divorce. No matter how much he is against the divorce, I can only protect the babies, myself, and f...
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RoseODAT
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3
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325
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Married 11 Years Today
(Preview)
WOW! 11 years married today. My husband and I have spent most of our 11 years of marriage seperated (i'm pretty sure). Most of the 11 years has been more bad times than good times. Today, its good. He's sober and actively working the program. Will it be always? I dunno. But today I am grateful we are ha...
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Sincerely
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8
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357
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eye appt. tomorrow
(Preview)
My first eye appt. for surgery is tomorrow--I am nervous & excited! It seems there are possibilities that there will be complications possibly. I just hope that I will have faith that it won't go wrong. The date of the surgery is not yet set. I am anxious about setting a date. Also, out of 3 possibili...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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318
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A question of sex.
(Preview)
How do people deal with the issue of sex? My partner is an A. She drinks secretly upstairs in the bedroom - even though I know and she knows. I find the empties hidden away. Vodka/ wine. Sometimes she approaches me sexually. I cringe and just sit there. She sits awkwardly and then goes back to bed. I feel vi...
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jitsuka
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14
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1075
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Need advice--"loving detachment" from father
(Preview)
I have made the decision to cut off contact with my alcoholic and meth-addicted father. He is lost in paranoid, meth-psychosis delusions of persecution, and only wants to talk about those. Every time we speak on the phone, we get into an argument and he verbally abuses me because I do not believe his fa...
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SoberGirl
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8
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536
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Home Run - Movie
(Preview)
This isn't an AA deal however it was interesting to watch, .. very honestly I had NO idea how Celebrate Recovery works. That part was pretty educational, .. I really enjoyed learning something new. What I really liked about the movie is the depiction of alcoholism as a disease and the victim mentali...
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Pushka
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3
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320
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One Step at a Time
(Preview)
Thank you all for your support. We had our mediation today at the courthouse. After much reflection, I was comfortable in my discomfort (regarding this type of conflict...or any conflict) that there would be nothing for us to mediate. We were dealing with pride, greed and one angry man (former t...
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PP
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2
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408
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A Beautiful Spring Day
(Preview)
It is a lovely day today in my part of the world. The trees and flowers are blooming. The sun is shining. The birds are singing. I took my sweet dog for a big long walk this morning and enjoyed seeing the ducks and geese swimming at the nearby pond. AH is on Day 8 of sobriety, I am working my program, trying ver...
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ParisMemories
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2
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234
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Need some support
(Preview)
hi all i'm new(ish) here and could really use some support. my (sober) alcoholic met my parents for the first time this weekend, and in two conversations casually let slip that she's planning/considering moving out of state. this was news to me, and something that is happening because i told her i wa...
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Rutabaga
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2
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288
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Do I or Don't I?
(Preview)
I've been wrestling with something this morning....sometimes I teach an extra course in May so I can make ends meet. This time the course didn't have enough students in it...so it will be cancelled. So far, I've been able to scrape through financially. ExA is buying guns, bought the 10 yo a crossbow an...
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rehprof
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7
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426
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Thank you!
(Preview)
Hello again, everyone! I want to thank you for your warm welcomes! I have found some Al-Anon meeting places, and plan to attend my first one Friday afternoon! I am looking forward to it very much. In the mean time, my counselor gave me some workbooks on codependency for me to work through. I got to a secti...
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Lay
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3
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274
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finding live meetings in local area
(Preview)
Hi~I've told my spouse I cannot exist in our relationship any longer unless she goes to recovery herself. I'm trying to find a list of live meetings for her and I just keep finding rehabs and other related topics. What do I search to find local meetings where I live? Thanks, Lyne
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Lyne
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3
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279
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My worst nightmare came true.
(Preview)
My husband is bipolar and over the 25 years of our marriage has amused cocaine and crack to "self medicate". That is what my two boys grew up in the middle of. The three of us shared the hurt, pain, anger and financial crisis that are part of the reality of growing up with an addict. He has been st...
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Jewel1
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9
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7167
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Newly "back" to Al-anon, needing help/support regarding boundaries/discussion with a child
(Preview)
I am coming back to Al-anon and hope to get to some f2f meetings in the near future. I am currently looking for support with my 8 year old daughter. My problem is setting boundaries with my AH when he is in charge of the care of my daughter. He was sober for 14 years, and for the last year and a half, has been ste...
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ryanhearted
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3
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298
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emotional hangover
(Preview)
For last 3 days I have been feeling rather drained to the very last drop of energy. I am so tired I could cry at any given moment if I see a suitable shoulder. I have short focus span and I am acting out on my addictions or feel very prone to do so. I've spent whole afternoon in lovely company of my friends, yet...
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HappyToBe
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2
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306
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Hanging in there ..
(Preview)
The post about the whole obsessivness of it all .. boy did that get me thinking this AM. I really have to bring myself into the present and remember if I am so focused on what he is or isn't doing I'm not paying attention to my own needs and what I need to be doing. I will be soooo very happy to get this divorce...
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Pushka
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9
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315
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Still forgiving am i crazy
(Preview)
Today I woke up with hope and trust and accept that I can't changed what my Ah 5 months recovery has done to me. My life has been messed up since is recovery , after all the lies and fights and cheating and betrayal and isolation . All that comes with a sober person . I still find it hard and can't understand wh...
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Ms co-dependent
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8
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747
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Introduction
(Preview)
Hello, everyone! I'm Lacy, and I have an alcoholic husband. We have been married for three years- no children. We are currently separated, and I am currently considering divorce. He has been through two detoxes, but he was not serious about either one. His health is declining rapidly I tried and tri...
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Lay
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6
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451
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To tell or not to tell
(Preview)
My son is in treatment and on probation. Residing at our home. 18. Has continued to use througout this treatment episode. First treatment. This was confronted last Monday in treatment. Started attending NA meetings last Tuesday. Used again after treatment Friday. He doesn't want me to t...
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momofrockstaraddict
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13
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457
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SCHEDULED CHAIR CHANGE
(Preview)
For personal reasons I will no longer be chairing the Monday morning Al-Anon meetings. My scheduled day to chair is now Wednesday mornings beginning on May 8, 2013. Love in recovery, Shimo/aka Jeri
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shimo
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0
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222
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Feeling Angry - Need Some Assistance
(Preview)
So I decided to tell my mother that my ABF is in rehab. I knew I should have kept my mouth shut! She really laid into me over the phone. She called him a loser and kept asking me why I felt the need to stay in this relationship and support him, etc. She kept telling me about all of the bad decisions that I've...
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rookie95
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2
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435
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Stop faking it
(Preview)
igym I am at the gym cooling down on the exercise bike and reading magazines. One if the headlines jumped out at me. It said "stop faking it!" It literally stopped me in my tracks. Not for the reasons that were in the article. I don't think. I didn't actually read it. It stopped me because that...
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Jewel1
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3
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300
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Peaceful at 30,000 feet
(Preview)
Hi dear MIP family! I am currently 30k feet up, guessing I'm somewhere over Louisiana, heading westbound. Did you know they have WiFi on planes now? I'm on my way home to my Southwest desert from my sister's wedding and I couldn't wait to share with my brothers and sisters on MIP that it was just a really l...
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blondie99
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6
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321
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Stressing
(Preview)
I took 17 credits this semester which was a bit much and I would never do it again. The extra class made me struggle with one of my grades I need to be a B or higher to get into my program this coming Fall. My finals are this week and I have fear, some of it real not just imagined. I know if I don't pass this final a...
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Breakingfree
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4
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204
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so tired of the selfishness and self pity
(Preview)
I know being self centered is part of alcoholism but I have reached my limit of my stbxah whining about poor, poor him. Life is so hard for him. No one understands how hard is life is and how he suffers. Never mind the fact that I got laid of from my job and now can't pay my rent because he spent all our savings....
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scaredandconfused
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14
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743
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What does peace and serenity feel like?
(Preview)
This may sound like a silly ?, can I be sad and maybe even tearful and not be in serenity? An alanon member tpld me that if I'm tearful that mean I'm hurting and in pain and not feeling peace and serenity. Gettingitright!!
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Highlyfavored
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9
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2723
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Step 3 Step Work Board
(Preview)
http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t53585995/step-3-alanon/
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hotrod
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4
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330
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Gratitude and Love
(Preview)
Today I am taken with the realization of alcoholism in my life. My circle of family and friends are either in recovery (AA or Al-Anon) and now I am seeing the next generation of those affected by alcoholism. In my Al-Anon meeting we always take a moment of silence for all those affected by alcoholism.....
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Jackie Z
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5
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660
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HALT
(Preview)
For some time now, apart from the many useful Al-Anon slogans I have been using this one from AA as a kind of 'check in with myself' tool. When feeling low I need to ask myself whether I am, Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired and then address whatever need might be causing my feelings. Like everything in our sp...
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flinn66
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7
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410
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Just when u think inventory was done
(Preview)
Ok I'm frustrated and not going to al Alon . My AH sober 5 months final came clean to me last night.. He not only sick and twisted.. I have no more remorse for him at all.. I gave and gave and got nothing back in return that was good.. I was wondering why I was never getting responses back from family or friends...
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Ms co-dependent
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5
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566
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suicide
(Preview)
On the 10th of April my alcoholic daughter 43year old married with 2 teenage childern daughter 16 son 15 was that drunk that she did not know what she was doing this was regular behaviuor. Her two kids had just stopped her from driving the car (she was out of booze)and put her to bed. She threatened to...
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keohone
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22
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1164
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Resentment
(Preview)
I'm going through a lot of resentment. Don't even know where to start. I'm 61 years old and thought I would be looking forward to retirement and a happy peaceful life until I die. Today all I can think about i: Is my son alive? Why is he distroying my life and his.... I can't have him in my life because of...
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Cathyinaz
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16
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1014
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Should I just keep my feelings/thoughts to myself?
(Preview)
Twice I tried to talk to my sober husband about something that was worrying me. 1st attempt, he walked away while I was talking to wash his hands. 2nd attempt, he responded, i have to go to the store for soap, you need anything. Well, I blew up! What am I suppose to do? Live in a bubble and only smile and tal...
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Sincerely
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7
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346
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The One Year Rule (or suggestion)
(Preview)
The last couple of months have been very difficult and I am in need of a bit of guidance. I know that there is a suggestion in AA, although not in the Big Book, and Al-Anon to not make any major life changes within one year of our A getting sober, with two of those suggestions being to not get married/sta...
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LiveLaughLove
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12
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590
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hp talking to me
(Preview)
Today my son turned 20. On today's c2c is a reading that was just for me. My hp is telling me this is the right thing.x
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el-cee
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3
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327
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First F2F Meeting
(Preview)
I went to my first F2F meeting this morning. It's been hard to find a meeting that fits into my schedule. I'm not sure I'll be able to make it back to this particular one next week, but am still looking. When I first left the meeting, I thought I didn't really get anything out of it, but on my way home I broke...
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rookie95
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4
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400
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needing support today
(Preview)
Hi everyone: My H is putting in an application for an apt opening June 1; I have asked for this, knowing deep down I can no longer live with the ups and downs of active alcoholism. Last night he looked at me and said'well I guess I am going to put that deposit down tomorrow'; he is waiting for me to stop him.....
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yanksfan51
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8
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394
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don't take life too seriously...
(Preview)
Sometimes I take life to seriously so I am trying to lighten up a bit! I could complain about just about anything but I refuse to today. I have not had a major incident today either. I am grateful for days like these because tomorrow might be different & maybe difficult. I just have to hold on to the now...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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490
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It's FRIDAY!!! :)
(Preview)
What a wonderful week it has been I can't begin to tell everyone how much work I have gotten done around here. I have had some tremendous help, I think I posted some pictures eons ago that had to do with some wood the tree service brought in .. THAT is all being taken care of right now. I'm thrilled!! I hav...
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Pushka
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3
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200
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Boundaries
(Preview)
Hi Folks Last October I went in to see my longtime asthma doctor at the hospital all my care had been at for 8 years. I was sick - and scared because I didn't know what was wrong with me. I had left this doc a voice mail saying I wasn't sure if he was the right doctor for me to see given my symptoms and that I needed...
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WorkingThroughIt
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6
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389
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Trying not to Obsess Trying to Let Go and Let God
(Preview)
I have a lot of things happening right now that involve tremendous change. It's the wave of uncertainty about outcomes that always does me in. I need to go back to some of the basics I've been taught through life lessons and use these tools. First I need to separate out the facts from disasterous t...
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tiredtonite
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6
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277
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New here and need some prayers/thoughts....
(Preview)
My AH has been sober since November. Apparently, he decided to start drinking the last couple weeks. I cannot believe I missed it, but that is beside the point. Today his boss called him out on it at work and I am pretty sure he is going to get fired tomorrow. I am so scared about how we are going to get by...
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ec4245
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5
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354
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In a Funk and I hate it!
(Preview)
I have not been posting or replying to post lately, mainly because I'm in a bad funk. I read some of the stuff here and on a few of the other boards on MIP and I get overwhelmed, like I have nothing to contribute that could possibly help anyone else, and I don't want to dump my "stuff" here when so many others...
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John
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14
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586
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My intentions were good! Got my feelings hurt!
(Preview)
OMG! Smack in the face by the past, at least hope in the past. Hubby and I were seperated 18 months. After 45 days of inpatient treatment, we are livinging together again. He's about 90 days clean and presently at intensive outpatient treatment as we speak. Well, my intentions were to make room for his...
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Sincerely
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3
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2273
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The precarious position of a step-parent
(Preview)
My 34 year old alcoholic stepson has recently moved in to live with my husband of 20 years and myself. Although he showed huge promise as a youth, alcohol has robbed him of everything. He has no education, no skills, no friends, no family (divorced), no job, no drivers' license, no possessions other...
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pennyprincipal
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7
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477
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A Week of Insanity
(Preview)
It's only Wednesday and so far . . . My AH showed up to a counseling session with his therapist and his son with a BAC of .14 at 9:30 am. He ran into a car in the parking lot. His therapist had seen it happen and waited to see if he would mention it and when he didn't he confronted him and made him take a breathalyz...
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wornoutmrsfixit
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12
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430
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Hating this disease more and more each day!!
(Preview)
Hi! My computer has been down for a few weeks, but the disease is still alive and well. My grandson, who receives a ss check due a learning disability, turned 18 in March. His a/a mother have been living off these funds for the past 8 yrs. and taking care of her young a/abf with her foodstamps and sec8 h...
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Highlyfavored
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2
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213
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So sick of my AGF's chaos
(Preview)
I know I probably should take some time to lurk a while or read a few stickies so I apologize in advance for jumping the gun. I really need to get some of this out. First of all, I'm a recovering alcoholic. I've never been to an Al-Anon meeting but I have considered it. I met someone in AA and we hit it off great...
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Burses
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8
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585
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talk about breaking my anonymity(funny please read)
(Preview)
I guess sometimes I have to have a moment. Yesterday I was on the radio after answering a question right. I tried only 8 times & got through. They said my name & where I am from. I guess what I am trying to say is that anyone who knows me who heard it now know my full name--first & last. But, anyhow...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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256
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Help with boundaries! Children...
(Preview)
I am new to the boards here, and i am seeking help and advice. I have a family member who is abusing alcohol and perscription drugs. This person just left their second stint at rehab, this time this person was 'kicked out' of the rehab facility. They lasted less than two weeks. The rehab facility sa...
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falconfan00
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9
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462
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Set my boundaries, now what?
(Preview)
Well, I'm 26 years old and am a child of an alcoholic. Actually, it's more like I'm the parent (And I know that's typical for child-adult alcoholic relationships). My parents divorced when I was 4 due to my father's drug/alcohol abuse. My mother's father was an alcoholic (vodka killed him), so my mot...
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iviedoodle
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2
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4469
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Overwhelming fear for my son
(Preview)
I know I need to turn my son(he's 14) over to God. I know that I've only done the best that I can do as a parent. I 'know' these things but still I have fear for his future. He recently overheard some of my conversation with my AH where I told my AH I was tired of his lies and the continued drinking and driving...
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ilovedogs
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14
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514
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Am a really heartless??
(Preview)
I am learning to detach worrywart care of myself. In doing this I am coming off as a "not nice person" . I don't have the patience for drunk neediness and chaos. And I tend to walk away and busy myself a lot. My 7 and 21 yr old see me as cold. I'm trying to learn to detach with love. But obviously am no...
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sweeetr
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5
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421
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Is anyone chairing the al-anon meeting tonight at 9pm?
(Preview)
I showed up late and I tried to ask who was chairing and got no response in the room. Everyone chatting at once like it was a chatroom of sorts? Maybe this is how it goes now unsure. Thanks
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Breakingfree
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2
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179
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abreviations
(Preview)
Hello all - since I'm still new here, can someone please fill me in on what all the abreviations are? I assume that A = alcoholic, and AH might be alcoholic husband...but after that I'm totally lost. Thanks!!!
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rookie95
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3
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395
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