The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today at work we had a 'Town Hall meeting'. The Director for our department came in an updated us on what was happening and our productivity results etc....
There was no bad news but he was dodging some questions about outsourcing. I didn't interpret this meeting as anything bad, but as per everyone else's reaction, you'd think the world was about to end.
I find the culture at my workplace very inducive to negativity and anxiety. Because we are on contract, management is constantly being harassed about getting full-time status and rumors and gossip keeps flying around. It's got to the point where I don't go out with the group during my morning break.
Growing up in a home with active alcoholism and mental illness, i watched my life crumble to the point that I didn't want to live anymore. I lived in constant fear of the unexpected and I effing hated it.
With that being said, I am finally on my way to getting things sorted out for myself. I am putting money away, paying off debts, getting experience in my field, Through the help of al-anon, I have been able to think clearly and take life one day at a time. By trusting my higher power he hasn't let me down.
However, I am tired of all this. Tired of this fear mongering and gossip and people worrying about thngs out f their control. I know I am powerless, but when you are around it constantly it gets to you.
Great share Jim...thank you. It sounds so much like a "keep on Keeping on" slogan share to me. I appreciate and am grateful to the program everytime I can face fear and flip it for love because that is how I was taught by HP and sponsorship. I can let others go thru their choices and earn their consequences today without choosing to be a part of the negative. I can watch them act out without taking a part in the drama and when I smile thru it all I know that unconditional love is still within me. Keep wearing your program right out front and if and when they ask you if you are not afraid or how come you are not afraid...smile...just smile and tell "I don't usually do that anymore". Keep on keeping on Slogan Jim!! ((((hugs))))
Those of us in Al-anon are so lucky we have tools to deal in ALL aspects, not just alcoholism. There are many "dysfounctionals" without alcohism or addiction in their lives. When I use program at work, I've actually gotten complemented on how calm I am, when I myself know I'm far from perfect and there is so much happening inside. Like Jerry says, "just smile". We have to detatch from the dysfunction but at the same time need to keep those strong comfrotable work connections as well. I find it tricky.
You are right Rose about using the tools outside of the addiction circus. I have been having a little problem with a co-worker over the last month and after one day kicking her out of my office I decided to start using the lessons I have learn in Al-anon. For two weeks now things have gone so much better between her and I because I have let go. I have that smile now.
Great share Jim..... thank you for bringing it to us.
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
It really upset my serenity for a while there and I just kept battling it in my head - specifically battling the people in fear in my head. (Which was clear that I was in a place of fear, too... why else should I feel compelled to battle them in my mind?)
Fortunately after hitting some extra Al-Anon meetings I came to the conclusion that I was sick and tired of feeling that way and decided what I really needed to do was pray - pray for those people who are scared (and thus behaving poorly) and just pray for my office and workplace as a whole. I just ask HP every day to bless everyone working here with success in happiness in all they do. It helps me to stop absorbing the negativity. It's really been helping me - and situations really haven't changed, but I sure feel a heck of a lot better and not so easily stirred up any longer. At least at this point.
Also, in addition to the prayers and Al-Anon meetings, I'm making sure to keep a daily gratitude list, I'm journaling every night, meditate every morning before work and tell HP "thank you" every chance I get - especially in the evenings before bed. Ooooh it helps so much.
I'm currently going through this in my workplace as well. There is a huge overhaul going on. There are going to be less jobs in the company. Many will be out of a job and there is a tremendous amount of whispering in corners. I and some other employees have been given an extra temporary assignment to quiet the fears of other employees by presenting only the facts of the situation and getting their questions answered by upper management. Some of my team have elected to leave before the other shoe drops. Even some of my "quiet the fears" team have even elected to leave. Thise who are left are behaving like performing seals to get attention and stand out in the company. I can't allow myself to be sucked into this because the issue of believing myself unworthy and trying to be enough is one of the defects I brought to this program as a newcomer. My "human doing" days are over.
It can be difficult to listen to the buzz and detach at the same time when you're sitting in it too. I bring one of our daily readers to work with me. The restroom is my new reading room and I also go for walks near work to air out my brain - just me and hp. Just like you, I'm doing the on the job footwork. I keep my eye out for development opportunities to enhance my resume. I'm putting a plan b in place without catastrophsizing just in case I am out of a job. I do my job as best I can, volunteer for things but within the boundaries that I've learned in this program. I'm trying not to project the worst and letting hp lead me instead of my fears. Some days that can be a job in itself but rituals help me. I do my daily readings, pray, get to my usual meetings, talk with Alanons, make sure to eat well, get some exercise, sleep enough and do the fun things I enjoy especially seeing friends rather than isolating and thinking too much. :) When everything seemingly is in an uproar, I know that these tools have consistently helped me to keep my serenity. Thank you for sharing. TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
