Welcome to the MIP board. What you have experienced in relationship to your loved one is not unusual although it certainly isn't "normal" in healthy relationships. One thing I've experienced to the addicts in my life until they are truly working their program is that they seem to have a bottomless list of things they'd like us to do for them, with them, for them and being grateful is simply a one second thing (if that much) until the next thing they'd like us to do for them, with them and for them. You say that Al Anon meetings aren't held regularly where you live? Perhaps you can find some in a town near yours that does meet regularly by checking the website for AA & Al Anon? Being on this board is helpful, too, if you can get into the chatrooms for meetings and fellowship. Conference approved literature is helpful - "One Day At a Time," "Courage to Change" and "Hope for Today" are good books to help you start your day or to find comfort, strength and hope when you read a page that seems to have been written for you.

As far as his lying - that is what the disease requires - dishonesty/lies to continue its destructive path. I think it takes courage for you to admit to yourself that you have been lied to and you don't like it. I'm sure others will respond to you at this site with much more wisdom than I to share with you, but I did want to acknowledge your posting and let you know you're not alone. Keeping at your own recovery work will help you learn how to avoid being devastated by the lies that will continue until your loved one is seriously working his program. Good luck.