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I have a brother who has a drink problem. Himself and his family come to stay with us a few times a year for upto 10 days or so a time. Hes a binge drinker and is quite agressive by nature. We had a big argument the other night and he started to get physical with me. I didnt react to the provocation, not physically anyway, but I certainly let him know what he did was unacceptable esp with kids upstairs asleep. I am quite sure he has brushed it off as just another thing while hes on a session and not treat it with the seriousness it merits. His apology was half hearted next day and it was left at that. Hes a very arrogant type of person in general and it would be impossible to have a srious talk about his drinking or attitude in general. So I dont know what to do really. It would be a huge step to tell him they are not welcome to stay here in future but I will definitely do it if it happens again in the future. He doesnt fully accept he has a drink issue and I dont think hes any nearer to accepting it either even after the incident the other night. Thanks
It would be very helpful if you would search out alanon Face to Face meetings in your community and attend. The main number is usually found in the telephone directory Here you will find others who understand as few others can. We believe that alcoholism is a disease over which we are powerless----Powerless does not mean helpless. At our meetings we break the isolation caused by alcoholism, learn new constructive tools to live by and most importantly we learn to respond to situations that use to baffle us and not to react
Hi Heredia; only you know your boundaries and have every right to them. No one can tell you what decisions you have to make but yourself and the Al-Anon (for families and friends) program helps you find that. I have to agree with Betty. There are some very good meetings where I live and I hope you can find the same. Positive attitude too! You'll find people of all backgrounds what are in the same situation come together finding a comforting understanding.
Hi, Why do you have to wait until the next time it happens before you make a boundary? You are pretty certain it will happen again because it has happened in the past. Maybe you could have a talk about him with the rest of his family? Spouse, adult children? Maybe him included? Let him know that it is his actions, not the drinking. If he can't remember his actions, that's on him. But his actions are getting a consequence.
Get to an AlAnon meeting for you to handle your own guilt and anger. No one can tell you what to do with any specific circumstance but they sure can help you with thinking about your options.
I have to ditto what Jerry said - alcohol is not allowed on my property...period, no ifs, ands or buts. When I was growing up, drunkeness lead to violence. I remember once when my drunk cousin had a 22 rifle in my stomach and pulled the trigger - thank God it was an antique and it had to be cocked in a certain way for it to fire and my cousin was too drunk to remember that....talk about devine intervention!!!!
Drunkeness and violence will not be tolerated in my home. If someone cannot be civil then they are not welcome and I make no apologies for my rules/boundaries.
My house, my rules - obey them or stay away.
-- Edited by Path to Serenity on Wednesday 8th of May 2013 04:58:46 PM
Alcohol and anger is a very deadly mix Owen...From my experiences and education Alcohol is a perpetrator of anger which was one (only one of many) reasons that drinking was not and continues to be not allowed in my house and on my property. I agree with setting the boundary now and not waiting for another event...since alcoholism is a progressive disease the behaviors are also progressive if allowed to continue. In support ((((hugs))))
I have to ditto what Jerry said - alcohol is not allowed on my property...period, no ifs, ands or buts. When I was growing up, drunkeness lead to violence. I remember once when my drunk cousin had a 22 rifle in my stomach and pulled the trigger - thank God it was an antique and it had to be cocked in a certain way for it to fire and my cousin was too drunk to remember that....talk about devine intervention!!!!
Drunkeness and violence will not be tolerated in my home. If someone cannot be civil then they are not welcome and I make no apologies for my rules/boundaries.
My house, my rules - obey them or stay away.
-- Edited by Path to Serenity on Wednesday 8th of May 2013 04:58:46 PM
