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CrazyTrain is in the station
(Preview)
The train is in the station, but I am doing my best not to get on board.
AH woke up in a weird mood and it has continued all day. Strange texts, requests for money, erratic behavior, you all know what those days are like. I dont think he was drinking today, but I know he is still smoking pot.
Anyway, I call...
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ParisMemories
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6
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367
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And the beat goes on
(Preview)
Was a horrible week last week. Between my guy and me, and the stupid dep sheriff thing. I am still feeling beat up but better. Did learn a ton. As far as my guy, he texted me asking if he could please call me. So he did Monday afternoon. We talked two hours. I had told him days ago to at least do this, text me some...
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Debilyn
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6
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426
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ESH please, moveout looms ever closer
(Preview)
Hi Everybody: This is strange; I feel....calm, resolved and know I am doing the right thing. I relive periods from my past in the struggling marriage and know that this is right for me. My soon to be ex is at the same time texting me with 'will you reconsider? I dont need drinking, I can stop yesterday an...
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yanksfan51
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10
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260
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The family disease..
(Preview)
My wife and I went to dinner with my grandson and daughters on Thursday night...a going away dinner as my grandson and his wife and their two daughters are leaving, moving to the continent. The dinner was spectacular...two different chicken recipies...no its not another addiction one was a stew...
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Jerry F
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11
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569
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trying to live in the now
(Preview)
Hi Everybody: Having a sort of 'up and down' kind of day. The weekend was tough, AH has one more week in the house and has used some of his time to get some nastiness out toward me. I know he is hurting, I know deep down he probably has self-hatred going on, but it is tough feeling those things come at me ('I a...
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yanksfan51
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5
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632
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Judging my Mother again on fb in fact!
(Preview)
My Mom is writing on facebook how she is on this diet that her Doctor had put her on, which I am proud of her because she is way overweight. Growing up she was always heavy, but now it is seriously dangerous and hard on her knees and she works long days and work hours. So anywho she is writing about how she is ea...
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Breakingfree
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3
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343
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for the first time, i am losing hope...
(Preview)
hi all, this horrid disease is killing my precious 37 year old son. his weight is down to about 100 pounds. his hands shake soon after waking up. and his body requires alcohol or he will have seizures. he has pancreatitis. he has come to the conclusion that he is just "rotting" in his ho...
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debhud
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9
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359
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My sons in rehab but yet I am living with fear and mixed emotions.
(Preview)
I thought when my 21 year old went to rehab I would be able to start sleeping just knowing he is not out there high or at home stealing for his next fixed. But I am an emotional wreck. With anger hate confusion. Asking myself I did above and beyond to help him to not see him behind bars or kill himself or someon...
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Gaby
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4
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219
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Is that legal?
(Preview)
Oops, my AH decided to get on my case about something today and I was getting frustrated. I let my 14.5 year old pull the car out of the driveway into the cul de sac and then park it across the street. He drove about 100 feet and went about 5 MPH. The first thing out of my AH's mouth was, "Is that even le...
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ilovedogs
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13
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473
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Update
(Preview)
Thanks for your encouragement and prayers of support as I travelled to my childhood home. It was a bittersweet time. I did keep my word to myself and didn't bring everything in the house home with me. It was difficult to choose what to take and what to leave behind. My brother was not available to mee...
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tiredtonite
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3
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368
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I am new to all this please help me understand
(Preview)
My girlfriend is going through detox and she is on her 7th day. I know she is sick and all but will it affect her to act as she hates me? Will it change over time? Or because she is getting clean she is losing interest in me..? please help have many more questions...
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Britt
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4
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330
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My Recovery
(Preview)
Today, after a recent counseling appointment and reading Courage to Change, I am realizing how much of my struggle is deeply rooted in two things: self-doubt and fear. I am 4 years into a Recovery process. I admit that I feel I should be farther along, as a recovered person. I will acknowledge that I...
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KLotus
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6
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276
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Tell me about your HP and how you experience it?
(Preview)
I recently had an amazing spiritual awakening and it was so wonderful. I felt God's presence with me and it was so healing. So today I opened up my bible and read some very beautiful things and some very unsettling things that it said. I immediately felt bad inside and like i wanted to throw it away. I a...
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willowtree
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16
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530
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Funny stories ..
(Preview)
It really sounds like everyone has a lot on their plate these days, .. I know I do .. lol. My mom is visiting and as I've shared in the past .. it's always entertaining and NEVER dull. Bring on the dulldom .. geeze .. LOL! So it all started yesterday and yesterday being Monday after all, I was headed out ear...
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Pushka
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3
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238
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just for today....
(Preview)
...I'm grateful for not giving in and rescuing my son, he's gone back to dad's. I'm grateful for meeting my ex ah and seeing that he's 'getting' AA finally. I'm grateful I have my daughter back with me after5 yrs, she's 22 now and I want to enjoy her company. I'm grateful for having good friends, includin...
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el-cee
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9
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799
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Strong Pattern
(Preview)
In addition to the daily work i do, around this time every year i like to do a long 10th step inventory where I list all the names where i feel most affected. I started last night. There are about 40 names on the list. I see already a very strong repetitive pattern of being used by others to deflect what is g...
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WorkingThroughIt
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11
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434
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I think I am making a little progress
(Preview)
So...had an enjoyable weekend with close friends (of us as a couple) The husband is a functioning alcoholic and the wife is a recovering alcoholic...waiting for a liver. So it was not as "normal" as normal could be, but not the usual isolation. It was nice to be able to connect with someone a...
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sadsusie
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1
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280
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Praying for courage
(Preview)
I have been posting alot lately, and I thankful to have found this site. It's an extra life line. My AH comes home from work in about an hour and again he has said today is the day he stops drinking and goes back to AA. (he threw away all his hard liquor, well drank it, and there is 2 tall buds left in the frig)...
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1976love
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9
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227
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will I ever be me again?
(Preview)
You all know me. but I do not laugh, all I do is feel pain. the love I always felt is not there for anyone or anything. I feel nothing but hurt, let down, discouraged, alone, lost, dead. I am used to this feeling of love all the time thru everything. Its hard to explain. It radiates from my heart. guess a broke...
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Debilyn
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7
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643
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But he's my son! What to do when it's a child!
(Preview)
So sad. It's almost impossible to sleep. My baby who just turned 19 is in the process of messing up his life and he wants my help...but I don't know what to do! If he makes no moves to recovery do I help him? He's piling on more and more issues that he cannot take care of. Legal issues as his mom I feel I should...
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Katytexasmom
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14
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692
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A Searching and Scary Moral Inventory
(Preview)
This is another post about gossip. There must be something in the air lately. I let myself get dragged into somebody's drama over the past 2 weeks. It resulted in my crossing the line between wanting to be supportive of someone during a hard time, and engaging in outright mean backstabbing about a 3rd...
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ClearTheFog
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9
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239
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Welcome Back
(Preview)
WELCOME BACK BETTY!! So happy to see you ...... ((( hugs )))
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Cathyinaz
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4
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218
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New here - A young wife of a recovering addict
(Preview)
Hi. I have been with my addict since we were 11 years old. We have been in a consistent relationship for the past 7 years with a few hiccups in between. We are both only 22 years old and we have a 4 year old daughter and another girl on the way! I love him more than I can say, despite every wrong doing he has done...
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MissMonty
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3
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8091
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closing the meeting after prayer & hesitation
(Preview)
I am closing our local meeting after years of keeping it open. I am frustrated about the lack of interest & no support for my commitment. I have been praying for awhile whether I should close the meeting. I am just grateful that it was open for many years & was the longest standing meeting in our s...
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Hoot Nanny
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5
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647
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I need help to begin to heal.
(Preview)
I have a 21 year old and he has been an opiate addict on and off since he was 15 years old. I admit I have been his worst enabler. He was dry for about 3 years but things spiraled huge at 20 with herion. He is now in rehab on his own but I live with fear and guilt every second of my days. How do I begin To heal?
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Gaby
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9
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567
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Was a good day!
(Preview)
In my post yesterday my A boyfriend was acting out as a dry drunk and I said I wasn't going to let it ruin my day......we had a family cook out and it was fabulous! I had a great day the kids had a blast! I went about my business and enjoyed myself, he is gonna have to find his way because I can't help him anymor...
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Holly09
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3
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152
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another quick question for my MIP friends
(Preview)
I was really thinking that I should call one of my friends from al anon meetings (don't have a sponsor, but I do have a ton of numbers) but we are told to Let go and Let God. My AH in my opinion really needs rehab. He of course will never admit that, but drinking the way he does and yesterday driving drunk (h...
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1976love
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7
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277
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Son is here for a Visit
(Preview)
My son is sober and he and my partner are talking computers, tearing down guns, cleaning and putting back together. What's so good about it I was ALWAYS in the middle talking for both of them so nothing would happen. I let go I walked away and I'm fixing a great dinner for the holiday. I can't believe w...
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Cathyinaz
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12
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469
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Today has not been good for me
(Preview)
Today started last night. We had family game night and that went well. Whole family came over and we had a cookout and played scattergories til almost 1:30 in the morning. My AW didn't drink or smoke any weed. All good. Problem started because I couldn't or wouldn't let myself go to sleep. I stayed up unt...
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dponlyme
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8
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237
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irrational guilt
(Preview)
I am just fuming right now. I left for a cruise with my parents a week ago, and the night before I had a conversation with my A boyfriend after not really seeing him for a week. He had started drinking again and his behavior was emotionally abusive. The night before my cruise, we calmly talked and he said...
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giraffe13
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8
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481
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My first birthday weekend away from .....
(Preview)
It has been a year since I moved an hour and a half away from the exAH this June 1. Although we have been divorced I still stayed in the same small town for some time afterwards. I wanted to move forward in every way so I moved and started school and put my kids in better schools. We are all thriving and doing m...
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Breakingfree
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9
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454
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A set back
(Preview)
Yesterday I started thinking about my ex husband, my qualifier. Was thinking a little too much about the past I guess. A week ago I was contacted by an old friend I had not heard from since he and I had split in November. She lives with his best friend and coworker. I had to keep redirecting conversati...
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cinders
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5
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244
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So afraid we are doing the wrong wrong thing- or is it the right thing?
(Preview)
Our son 34, had a breakdown just before Christmas. His wife had left him, he had carried an enormously heavy load for several years. She was depressed and did nothing for herself or him whatsoever. He was supporting her, doing all the housework and cooking and holding down a very stressful and underpa...
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deacon
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9
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689
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confused
(Preview)
I don't get it, and I am glad I don't...My AH has been on a raging binge ever after falling off the wagon 2 weeks ago. No need to point out all the chaos and crazyness, why repaeat the same old stories...Oh shucks, he pee'd on the brand new couch! On a serious note though, he said yesterday he would go to the...
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1976love
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7
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253
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A Visit From My Husband
(Preview)
The alcoholic has been in control for quite a while but I had gotten about a weeks worth of messages from the person I remember so I finally answered and we talked for about an hour. He said that he was sorry for blaming me and that he was the cause of his problems and many other things that are true and ration...
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wornoutmrsfixit
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5
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438
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A very good day today
(Preview)
Today my AM and I spent the day together, it's very rare that both she and I get off work, on the same day. We spent the day shopping, going to lunch, where she had only 2 glasses of wine, not even getting anywhere close to being tipsy. I was very proud of myself that I didn't get upset because she ordered wine...
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phoenixmagicgirl
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4
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171
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Glad to return the support
(Preview)
I haven't posted for awhile. Today I am driving my cousin to a rehab to have an appointment about entering the facility. I haven't seen alot of him in quite sometime, but I do see his mum and she has been a great support for me, unconditionally. So knowing of the appointment I called and offered to drive...
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lightblue2
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2
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176
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hes sober again but i cant believe it
(Preview)
my boyfriend stopped drinking again 5 weeks and i starting to fear it not going to last. he has only ever got 3 weeks before (at home, he has stayed in treatment centres for months but always drank 3 weeks after coming home) and since we passed the 3 week mark i have getting this gnawing feeling of is it goin...
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lorraine
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8
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255
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Give me strength
(Preview)
Give me strength not to inflict bodily harm on him while he is acting his dry drunk self! That is how I'm feeling right now. Yesterday was all about how he doesn't want to feel like this anymore and how sorry he is and doesn't know what to do...today it's about I don't see why I can't do what I want (not bout...
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Holly09
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0
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274
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couple little things....
(Preview)
When my son took me to the jail to fill out papers.... processed, I went to the restroom, he was waiting in the lobby. I came back and he said,"DARN!" "I was hoping you would be gone when they came back so I could tell them you took off!" I slugged him. (here is this big handsome guy ho...
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Debilyn
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1
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730
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Hello, I am new here
(Preview)
Hello everyone. I just found this site and am just starting with the steps. I have a friend that I have known for over 4 years, we became close like brother and sister. He is an alcoholic and has used me in every and anyway he could. He just got his 4th DWI and his wife finally kicked him out, He has lived...
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Malsey
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3
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241
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Living in the numb and tears
(Preview)
The hoarder across the road has caused me insurmountable pain. Now she and ignored what a sargent told her and harrassed me again. To the point that she lyed and lyed about me and I got charged with disorderly conduct. My family probably many generations back have NEVER been in trouble. never. It wi...
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Debilyn
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5
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1013
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unlearning
(Preview)
Tonight my son is sleeping on my couch. He is running out of friends to stay with. Putting the anger and guilt trip on me. I told him one night, he's going to see about a room tomorrow, he says. Hes upset he's not welcome anywhere. Feel sorry and want to rescue. My insanity is still alive. I'm sad and feeling...
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el-cee
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9
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383
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AS returns from prison in a few days
(Preview)
I recently wrote about my son and his upcoming release from prison for a technical violation (basically drinking/drugging and not reporting because he'd been drinking/drugging). I was feeling like a cheese because I wouldn't make my home an option for a place to go because I know it won't work, I'v...
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grateful2be
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6
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371
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Prayers
(Preview)
Hi Everyone I was sitting here doing a little reading and journal in my book. I ended it with a little prayer for me and my son. I asked God if he could help my son ( 6 days sober) that he finally found a therapy for this deadly disease of Alcoholism. That this time will be the right combination of therapy...
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Cathyinaz
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8
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841
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doctors that keep giving more pills ????
(Preview)
My AH thinks his blood pressure and temper issues have been helped by new doctors med. (Our family doctor kicked him out as a patient after getting popped on a synthetic drug test and showing his butt at the office) Any way ... he found new doctor that did NO blood work and asked for NO medical records.. He...
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sweeetr
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7
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1710
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Calling again!
(Preview)
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Laura Baker
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5
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322
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New Avatar
(Preview)
I was brought up in Al-Anon to constantly look for balance...serenity...sanity...peace of mind. God knows that when the disease was raging in my life none of that or those were present. Its not that the tools were not there; as most of you know now or knew then I was way too preoccupied fighting the...
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Jerry F
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11
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460
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Stay on my side of the street
(Preview)
For some stupid codependent reason I feel the 'need to know'. I feel that I have to know everything, good, bad, whatever. And, even when my intuition tells me something that is most likely true, I feel the need to seek out that truth to validate my intuition. What's up with that???? For example: AH te...
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ilovedogs
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5
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1077
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When you know they are drinking...and find the vodka
(Preview)
My husband has been sober for almost 2 months. His mom died three weeks ago. I could tell right off this afternoon that he had been drinking and found the vodka. Should I use my Al-Anon tools and keep my mouth shut? Thanks and I appreciate your comments.
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Jen61
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9
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481
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frustrated, hurt, angry, stuck
(Preview)
Married to AH for almost 22 years. Crappy crappy last few weeks. He doesn't admit he has a problem, he knows it bothers me, asked him a couple weeks ago, why do you ahve to drink every day, he says its not everyday. He tried this week to not drink, which was almost worse cause he was a complete jerk the day...
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sandydv
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10
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576
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I am having the hardest time right now
(Preview)
So my husband is finally sober, for real. He has sometime under him (a week), he is doing AA, cut off all bad associations and is really trying everyday. I know a week isn't a lot but it is a start and it is the best I have seen in three years. I felt like I took on the whole world for him-my family, his family, h...
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Rinn
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8
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537
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Surprising myself
(Preview)
Tonight I surprised myself my A boyfriend who for the past 3 years has only been drunk 2 times until tonight called me from our shed where he has been all day to tell me he had been drinking and all I said at first was why (not that it matters) he said he didn't know but he had been thinking about it for a long tim...
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Holly09
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2
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305
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Feeling at a loss
(Preview)
Hi All, So the using stepson (19) was asked to leave and with that I feel SO much better about feeling secure in my own home. Today he wanted to come over and I told my husband I am NOT comfortable with him being here until he is sober. There was too much disrespect/lying/etc... on top of the using IN the hous...
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Tennin
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14
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592
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A disturbance in The Force
(Preview)
Maybe it's the full moon; maybe the stars are aligning; maybe everyone's just gone plumb crazy. But there has been a disturbance in The Force this week. It all started with my Monday night meltdown. I felt better the next day, cleansed in a way, but there has just been so much weirdness happening this we...
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blondie99
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3
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488
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keeps getting better
(Preview)
First my friends thank you for the reponses to posts about divorce papers being served. This is a crazy time, but just when you thought things couldn't get crazier... I go onto the computer tonight and what do I see in the history but match.com profile! You guessed it, the day after H was served papers...
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yanksfan51
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13
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413
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Tired of crazymaking
(Preview)
As you are aware, my abusive alcoholic BF is still working out of town. I am safe for the moment. For that I Thank God and for his protection! He left on Monday and has been texting and phoning me daily. Its driving me nuts! I feel so angry still from the beating! I am having a hard time letting go! Two day...
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joker
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3
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376
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I am so numb after last night....
(Preview)
Well, I did it again. I lost control when he had a few beers. No matter how many times I tell myself over and over I won't say anything, I usually end up at some point losing it. Oh, he was in a great mood when I got home from work and he was actually doing some work in the garage, but I knew what was to come. He...
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Cheri_Swanson
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14
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666
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I don't know how to get away from AGF
(Preview)
So I posted about my issues in my relationship with my AGF. Things haven't gotten much better, of course. About the only thing that's sort of changed is we managed to start going back to AA meetings, which has helped me significantly. She, on the other hand, has continued to drink about every 2-3 days. T...
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Burses
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14
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553
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It hurts
(Preview)
Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. As I have mentioned before, I am seeing a counsellor to sort through some emotions I am having. She mentioned within 5 minutes of meeting me that I am avoiding feeling hurt. She could tell by my body language that I would brush thi...
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slogan_jim
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11
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472
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