STEP 5 - Al-Anon Family Group

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

STEP 5

WorkingThroughIt · ~*Service Worker*~

Thanks Betty.

In my 5th step I just read my entire 4th step (shared my life's story) with another person. I chose my sponsor not a priest etc because why would I do steps 1-5 and 6-12 with her only to take the bulk if my work to a stranger?
We went in for a long chat (this means ill be getting feedback.) anytime I'm not getting down to the truth she can help me see my part.
I saw a common thread where I was being used as the smokescreen where others could deflect their dysfunction into me (individuals, couples, you name it, I would accept it!) I wanted people to like me so I never spoke up or ignored them (whichever was appropriate.) I thought everyone had to like me so I lost who I was in the process (typical adult child child stuff.) I was full of fear.
Then I would blame them for being who they are when I had availed myself to them by reacting -- by hiding in shame and guilt.

So in essence I was resentful that others were sucking the self-esteem out of me and trying to get me to be someone i wasnt but I was doing the same to them!

I also began to develop compassion for others and myself.
I saw Gods equality and everyone is worth the same, that meant I was equal too.

There is so much more I could never go into it.

I had a powerful spiritual awakening and God showed me who I could be (which I asked him to do every day during my 4th step when I said a certain prayer before I wrote.) I included Him so my thinking could change.

During my 5th step, for the first time I could look the world in the eye. I stood in the sunlight of the Spirit.

At the end, my sponsor hugged me and welcomed me to recovery.

Then I went on to steps 6&7.

DavidG · ~*Service Worker*~

smile Thanks Betty- I went through the steps, a n d the traditions over there, with you. Then I came back to this board to test my boundaries...

worked out well, over time. I got a little scared, there in the middle. As I pushed my boundaries a bit. But that's good. As I get on further in the programme I sense that coming from others too-coming up through the ranks. I welcome it, and embrace it in the same spirit you do.

I have found a niche here, and found love and acceptance, especially from the guys. This element was lacking in my Alanon walk...

...it takes a bit of juggling to feed the knowledge and experience back into the face 2 face group. Heaven only knows how much I and we needed that extra boost- and to feel a part of a world wide community.

I have done a step 4-5 in another programme this year. But it feeds back into the Alanon experience... with experience and maturity I think we get used to interacting with other programmes...

...these last months it has been working in with AA as well... building bridges for recovery.

Some times the going gets really tough. The guiding hand of Alanon is always remembered, and cherished.

Thanks Betty aww

David.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

WorkingThroughit and David

Thank you for your honesty and in depth response to Step 5. It is so true, I too felt the power of this program, the power of my God after working this Step.

I was also given the gift of humility and the ability to permit myself to be human. Not needing to be perfect and accepting that I could make mistakes was another gift that I so welcomed.

Living one day at a time, trusting HP life gets better and better.

WorkingThroughIt · ~*Service Worker*~

Truth IS perfect.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.