The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm not sure if I have enough information; it's probably a good idea to have a recent check up or check in with a doctor to make sure that a sustained feeling of being down or depressed isn't due to medical reasons.
In the past, I may have felt down for what seemed like no apparent reason, but my pattern was to stuff my feelings...so, in my case, I was reacting to something. It took time for me to drill down to my feelings and what specifically I may be reacting to. I tend to cover hurts with fear and anger, even knowing full well that pain is often a large part of the healing process.
I feel sensitive to my environment and working on this so that I don't take on other's feelings. I do know that by continuing to work the program, I have had many days that have been peaceful and wonderful. In support.
-- Edited by bud on Thursday 30th of May 2013 10:27:00 PM
My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.
Lately, as I've mentioned I've been feeling really down and it doesn't seem to be going away. I am questioning if this is just a down period or if I should talk to my doctor. I'm feeling very light-headed, like I am just going through the motions. Not living or enjoying where I am. and it's been like this for awhile. The problem? I have no reason to feel this way. I mean, it's hard seeing my father off work and depressed himself but I am afraid it's running off me.
I started seeing a counsellor and she asked that I take my walls down. Since then I have begun to feel this way. Is this one of those things that will go away with time?
I do have periods of feeling blue in my recovery process. Sometimes it's just hard to face everything, especially if you're starting to take some of those walls down. For me, there was a grief process involved, and at first it was hard, then it got better. As with any grief, there will be cycles, smaller and smaller, until healing takes place.
I don't know your situation, but particularly if you're moving from a place of numbness and not feeling anything and then take the walls down, even a little, those emotions can feel like a flood at first. My experience has been that those periods of feeling a down balanced out over time. And also that feeling really sad and allowing those emotions space and time to process gave me room for real happiness.
If you're worried about depression, your counselor can help you with a fairly simple screening.
I feel like that going thru recovery and marital problems at the same time. I was offered Anti depressants but declined. I can function but feel spacey,not focused, on edge. It is All these emotions and feeling coming to the surface.
Mirandac, I know what you mean. I've been on anti-depressants in the past and I don't really want to go on them again. They helped no doubt, but there are still some side effects I don't want to deal with.
When you start work in therapy (and also sometimes rigorous stepwork/self inventory) it is akin to ripping a bandaid off and letting it bleed for a while. Sounds like you are having some intense growing pains and you can't see the other side yet. Just take my word, you will emerge stronger and these feelings will pass. I mentioned in another post about you allowing yourself to be reparented in some ways. None of that is going to occur in days or weeks but it will happen because you work for it.
I believe you found a home in alanon, you found validation, insight....NOW...true change is gut wrenching sometimes and it only happens when we are ready and on our HPs time. Yeah, you've been in alanon quite some time, but it seems like now you are ready to do some serious changing and work. It's a good thing but it's going to hurt because you are surrendering old ways (step 3) and this leaves you vulnerable and sad because you don't know what the new you will look like or how your feelings and issues will resolve. But they will if you keep doing the work.
My first counselor that helped me heal and deal with some traumatic childhood things, told me it was like having surgery and it takes awhile to get better after each procedure. I feel a lot better now after it's all said and done, but it may just be some huge growing pains like pinkchip said. Just try to feel the feelings as they float to the surface and go through the motions until you come thorugh the otherside, easier said than done when you are oozing, I know. Sending you love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Hi S J, I sometimes feel blue and sad... I stop and try to think what the matter might be, and it usually is because I am focusing too much on my problems and don't have other activities with friends going on, too much thinking and ruminating going on, I try my best to "get out of my head" and it does help, and consequently I get a new look at what my problems/issues are more clearer.
Oldergal
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Don't Worry About Growing Old, It Is A Privilege For Some Of Us.....
Living with alcoholism is devastating to our lives and the path of recovery can be painful, this I think is why Denial is with us for so long. Once I started on my journey working the steps I opened up a pandora's box of emotions and from time to time this has made me feel very low. I have needed counselling as well occasionally but have always resisted anti depressants because for me I knew chemically suppressing those emotions was not the answer.
I think it will take me a long time to take down my protective walls and learn to trust those outside the fellowship, but am grateful for the trust and friendships I have built in Al-Anon, perhaps in time I may be able to take those outside and learn how to be trusting and intimate with others. At least for now I am learning to become 'my own friend'.
If I feel low I try to use a checklist and the one from AA - HALT - helps, am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired? If I can address the need, I try to establish what it is I can do about it and often it is because I am neglecting myself physically or emotionally that has led me to a dark place.
In dealing with Alcoholism we are all so 'Strong' it exhausts us, denies us pleasure, but the damage it does to our emotional and spiritual well being goes on for so long unchecked that it is hardly surprising that recovery is a long journey and I am constantly having to remember 'why I am here'
