Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Tina2014 · Tina2014

All of my life, I have had a mom who has never allowed me to express my feelings. She has always attacked me by saying "your too sensitive" or "you shouldn't feel that way" or even worse, my mother would deny every hurting my feelings by saying, "I never said that" or &qu...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Just a little thought that I have been meaning to share here. Might sound silly. But there has been a particular actor that I have been obsessed with for over a decade and a half. So recently I re-watched the TV series he is famous for and that I have loved him in for all of these years...and as i watched it, I...

whatnow4us5 · whatnow4us5

I'm here. Thanks to google. ALl of the soul searching, researching and web-searching brought me to this site. On this day. I'm feeling sad, scared, awkward and angry if I'm completely honest, and let's face it, we could all probably use a whole lot of honesty in our lives. I'm married to an addict/alco...

writeone · writeone

I am desperate for help. I have no where to turn. Went on Google and found this page. If anything, it might help that I just write something down and hopefully someone will have words of wisdom. My husband is an alcoholic. For the first 20 years of our marriage I was in deep, deep denial but the kids kne...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning Everyone I got a call last night from my X and the my sons hearing is this morning. He and his wife are going to be there and so will I. I don't think our son even knows we know what happen to him because he has not tried to call us. We will go in support and pray for him. I'm looking at this as hope...

Truth · Truth

I finally got some .... I phoned the family violence line and it is without a doubt abuse. They told me how to handle the situation. So thankful today. My mind is very clear.

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I'm sitting here at work setting up computers and as I wait for the next thing to do....I'm at my PC looking at DUI Lawyers. WTH!!! Please tell me this is not good and he's going to have to deal with a public defender. I'm nuts!!!

Truth · Truth

So I have been thinking. I have attended Al-anon for four years. In those four years pretty much every family I know has gotten divorced. I would say over 60% of the A's have had affairs in AA. The children are unhappy. So exactly what part of the program is to do with family values?

recoveryhope · recoveryhope

TRADITIONS AS A GUIDE TO HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS It is said that the unity of Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon is the most cherished quality our fellowships have. Our lives, the lives of all to come depend squarely upon it. The practice of our 12 steps puts our lives in order, but not necessarily our rel...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Co dependent . Been a bad week I told myself I would not enter the ring of fire with my A . I agreed to that when I changed my name to wisdom . I'm going to be very careful what I say on here . My honesty has got me in worst problem then I have before . That's all I'm going to say . I know I'm keeping to my side and workin...

recoveryhope · recoveryhope

She is a master manipulator. Right now you aren't a match for her skill. She doesn't have the tools to get where you are today. This is feedback from my sponsor regarding my end-of-relationship woes due to continuing contact with my ex. It pains me to hear my sponsor say it, but I know it to be true. I r...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Said my AH. I couldn't believe my ears!! Alcohol saved it for that last 10 years or so?? Huh?? this is his explanation:" Every time you yelled at me I would drink and hide out in our room". So I guess what he means is he hid from me instead of fighting. So bizarre. This is the disease talking in ful...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

I know my right now as a person who struggle with every day choices and demands that are placed on us when we have the right , our own right to chose what is good for us . Like every other person -no matter what age exsperience or situation , I am rare , unique worthwhile,human being I will make mistakes and wi...

Mum to Belle · Mum to Belle

Hi, my name is Jenny and my husband is an A. I realised this about 2 1/2 years ago and since then have done all the usual things!! (Searched the house for bottles, been through his pockets for receipts, taken away his bank card, taken him to his GP, to AA, to 1-2-1 counselling, to hypnotherapy, to group ab...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I had a great weekend this past weekend. I went on a road-trip with some friends and had a great time. However, it left me feeling sad. On the way home, a friend of mine popped in and hung around my apartment while he waited for his girl...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

I love it when my A decides how I'm feeling. 'You seem pissed off.' 'Is something wrong?' 'I just don't get what's with you.' 'I'm just trying to help because I care!' I was just chilling out and making dinner. Projection much? Well, as AlAnon has taught me, not my problem, not something I can fix.

sadsusie · sadsusie

I am moving out soon, and I see divorce not far away. I hate it because I love HIM, its the Disease that destroys me. We are just so not on the same page. He is frustrated because he is being blamed for his disease. Sure I can understand where he gets the feeling of me blaming him...That needs to be and proba...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Ok there are times in the life of a person who is the only human in the house has its moments. No one to bring ya some water at night, help ya find your glasses, no one to say uh your deoderant is NOT working. for me right now, no one said, make sure you use your last week money you save for stuff,you save acouple...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I was sitting here thinking about halt. I'm not angry or lonely but I can and will do something about hungry and tired. I haven't eaten anything for about 24 hours now so I got up and made myself a small bowl of soup. I don't feel hungry but I know I will sick soon if I don't eat something.....so I'm taking...

hmk · hmk

This is my first time visiting Al-Anon of any type. I have been married to my husband for four years and the whole time my Mom and Dad have told me that they believe he is an alcoholic and that I should check out Al-Anon. I don't want to be in any type of denial and I want to know for sure if he is an alcoholic so...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I just HAD to share this! So my AH has been gone for maybe 2 or 3 days...kept saying he was coming home...We both know I am moving out (tomorrow)...I have about giving up hope and I have been crying all day....so I had myself a beer. Now, I totally can't handle alcohol, I relax but I really can't do much else!...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Nisa ( my son's kitty ) was with me last night. She laid by my side for a while. She purred and loved my scratching her ears. She noticed my phone with the wind turbines turning in the screen background. She couldn't keep her eyes off it. Then she started to attack, hitting the screen and opening up pr...

Forgiveness82 · Forgiveness82

Hi all. I've been posting on here for a while and have been contemplating posting this. Myself and a few other young women who have been survivors of abuse/addiction and more were featured on MTV about forgiveness.

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just saying that today it is very important that I stay positive. I am going through a stalemate right now. I hope that I have the courage to stay where I am. Only God knows what will happen next. Perseverance is the key I think. I am only able to do what I can do. So, w/ the program in tact I can see the light at t...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

It's been a rough winter, and I'm really glad spring has sprung! Even with all the lovely cottonwood fluff floating around and the back yard looking like a jungle of nettle.... Still struggling with codependent and rejection issues, but feeling a little stronger. I've been writing WAIT on my hands f...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Well, I'm still under the same roof as ABF. But not in the same way. After his drunken attack 5 weeks ago I was feeling pretty screwed up. I knew something had to change but as I have explained on here before, I sort of had a bit of a PTSD spaz and just kind of lay in bed shaking for a week. I'll never forget that;...

flinn66 · flinn66

Its a while since I have shared here, in many ways my life is good and I generally find a balance in my feelings and emotions, but for the past week I have felt very flat. Whilst its so easy to blame being busy at work or the day to day stresses of life I spent some hours earlier in quiet meditation and contempl...

HervieB · HervieB

Hi there. I am a new member on the Al-Anon family message board. I started attending Al-Anon meetings last month and have recently decided that I am Al-Anon and I would like to continue with the 12 steps. As it is, there are limited meeting times available to me in my area, and I do not yet have a sponsor...

arlivipj · arlivipj

So my husband is a self-proclaimed alcoholic (he knows he is and so do I) that doesn't think his alcoholism is a problem. He thinks that since he doesn't go out and get drunk, works and supports the family and is functional that he doesn't have a problem. His mom, grandma and dad are all alcoholics as we...

Shif · Shif

Hi everyone, It's my first time here. I am married for 15 years - 3 kids - my husband used to smoke weed with his friends but has stopped about 8 years ago. He also used to drink socially and would sometimes drink to the point of throwing up but again that was not very often. In the past few years, I would noti...

chadg · chadg

How do you handle intimacy? I have no desire whatsoever to be intimate with AH. NONE! All my feelings, how he acts, what he says to me etc...has zapped any feelings of intimacy that I can possibly have. I have tried explaining to him why, but stopped he doesn't get it. Seeing him all drunk walking ar...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I have been thinking about my actions last night or Reactions really. Selfish actions made out of frustration and bitterness. This was NOT what I was going for. I was soooo proud of myself (still am) for finally standing up for myself and living MY life. I guess that while I was basking in my own glory I f...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

We can work it out! And, that is not just a song title. I am trying so hard to work things out w/ my mom. Over the weekend she talked to my husband about how she always jumps when I need something. Maybe that is true but she does need to one-up me. I guess she thinks that one good turn deserves another. She still...

Truth · Truth

John's Hula Hoop made me think. I am okay staying in my Hula Hoop until I have to advocate for my son. If he was teenager, I would just teach him the tools and trust he could deal with it. I really like "minding my own business" lol Where is the balance in this situation? I still struggle with...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I left my AH a month ago after what he calls a slip up. Over the past few years his slip ups have been worse. He has been in jail once and the hospital 3 times. It was too much for me to handle. The roller coaster of alcoholism was making me crazy. I was always anxious waiting for him to drink again. He has been dr...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

I can't believe how clueless my AH is! He can't be trusted not to drink and drive with the kids so he promised to take our 6 year old skiing, which is 60 miles away. Couldnt understand why I'd go, he said he was sorry, he's in control, read the term verbal vomit and that is so appropriate. So spent day in car an...

ClearTheFog · ClearTheFog

I should have a happy smiley linked to the title but right now I'm just crying. I have been so enmeshed in a very sick relationship that I have been unable to get out of in spite of about 3 years of trying to leave. I was sick when I got into this relationship in the beginning, about a decade ago. I feel that I a...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning all Yesterday I spent a lot of the day praying, reading and went to a open AA meeting. My fear is there and I have cried quite a bit yesterday. My son's phone was checked and there is nothing. We can only pray it's off because he when to a safe place and that's a rehab center but if not we don't h...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I sound like I have some isms and may be codependent. I love him already and feel like after my first session he will be able to help me through some things. He knows of both programs and our session was awesome. So glad to be doing the work again! I only get an al-anon meeting every other Tuesday night with w...

Baffled · Baffled

There are a bunch of people who have turned our house into a "party shack" and won't leave me alone. This might be a common problem. They are claiming I am harassing them when I try to get them to leave and that I am creating a chaotic environment. Arrrgh. I have already gotten into trouble for y...

John · John

Welcome to Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums! Twelve Step recovery programs can be a life sustaining substance to many people, just as water is.You can get a cup full or a barrel full. There is plenty here to take as much as you want or need.If you leave too quickly and don't get enough, you are...

KennyFenderjazz · KennyFenderjazz

We don't talk about the finances of an alcoholic's consequences on here too much, or maybe I just hadn't noticesd it untilit really hit me this week, when we had the hearing for 2nd DUI. I wanted to write this for two reasons: get it off my chest with someone besides recovering AW, and so other folks can...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

I'm really looking for some help here guidance I should say . I got my self in a pickle. My regrets denial shame guilt has ruled my life for as long as I can remember . I took my books out again reading the Alaon on way to me it's the only way I know I can find a grounded way to living my life the way I should be and tr...

el-cee · el-cee

I love this recovery program, someone said 'Its a simple program and its us who make it complicated' which is really true for me, its the simple things that have the most power. Im such a grateful member of Alanon and I love to read the wisdom of old timers who can speak this language really well as I can lea...

New member here (Very lengthy post) · NatalieP

Please forgive any mistakes I may make. Im not only new to this group, Im new to posting anything in a forum. I am hoping to find some support until I can get enough courage to actually attend a meeting in person. The closest one to me does not meet until next Saturday, and Im feeling so desperate right n...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

It seems that things are winding down and not so much .. stbax has been laid off. Well, .. I'm not getting divorced while he's laid off .. lol .. how stupid do I look? Apparently, I have "STUPID" written across my forehead with these atty's and it just blows my mind. I'm thinking that my May t...

Truth · Truth

Why is emotional abuse so prevalent in recovering alcoholics if they are practicing a program?

ardy9 · ardy9

So I've been getting serious with a very cool girl who is the love of my life and is a recovering alcoholic. She has been sober a little over a year and I have only known her during this time. I would like to learn the best ways to support her because I want to be there for her in all walks of life; however, I fran...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I am so pleased today. I have had a handful of small challenges and I have reacted differently to them. I've been standing up for myself and standing my ground and doing what *I* want. I had secured a new place to live on Friday, so that was certainly a beginning. My AH broke our "deal" by being...

cmb · cmb

Good morning, Here is my story. I was married to an A for 12 years. Had 2 sons with him. I lived in his crazy world and at first I tried to hide his alcholism from my family. He would regularly disappoint the three of us. Through many arrests and jail terms, the final straw for me was when he was arrested f...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am sorry to say but I am tired of my mom using me. She once again, only is in it for herself. I noticed that the last few days she hasn't called or anything but today she needs me to get into her email so she can once again, get her tickets for her trip down to see my family. Again, basically she is kicking me to t...

Jkphotogal · Jkphotogal

I'm new to this board, but not to Al Anon. I try to attend meetings when I can. My story is probably similar to many of you. I've been married for 19 years, two girls ages 12 and 15. My AH has progressively gotten worse over time, but has not hit rock bottom yet, so still denies that he has a problem. He drin...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Not all alcoholics are the same. There's the dominant type and the dependent type. Not all Alanons are the same. There's the dominant type and the dependent type. And actually, every human being, alcoholic or alanon, has both of these personality traits. Its just about knowing what your percentage...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Feeling gratitude & not expressing it is like wrapping a present & not giving it! Kathleen

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I just got off the phone with my X's wife and she said they kept my son for 12 hours before releasing him. They also asked him to go to detox but he refused. This makes me feel a little better ( WHAT?) he didn't leave in such a bad state even though he will go down pretty quickly unless he stabilizes his syst...

hmk · hmk

This is my first time visiting Al-Anon of any type. I have been married to my husband for four years and the whole time my Mom and Dad have told me that they believe he is an alcoholic and that I should check out Al-Anon. I don't want to be in any type of denial and I want to know for sure if he is an alcoholic so...

NavySealWife · NavySealWife

I'M trying to figure out when I will be able to trust my AH after his big relapse five weeks ago and still drinking one or two days a week. I don't trust him with nothing not even the money he makes that goes in our joint banking account because I'm always wondering if he will drinking our money away. I try to g...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I'm watching a TV showe where someone in recovery is talking about feeling "tricked" or getting something different than they thought or were told theyd get. anyone have ideas on where this comes from? I'm coming up with this: feeling let down by parents or other authority figures. Can y...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Just got a text message from my X. My son was not right so he took him to the hospital to find out he's been drinking and his BAC was .507. They came home and my X asked for my son keys so he can sober up before he leaves but my son refused and is out driving. My son is officially homeless... First I pray he d...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am under a lot of stress. It seems that I will not get health insurance until they fix a problem I am having getting it. I am waiting for a response & am on pins & needles. I would rather not say what the real issue is because I feel that it is private & that mentioning it would be a bad idea even on...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I think I might have to disown my family.... (Preview) All of my life, I have had a mom who has never allowed me to express my feelings. She has always attacked me by saying "your too sensitive" or "you shouldn't feel that way" or even worse, my mother would deny every hurting my feelings by saying, "I never said that" or &qu...	Tina2014	6	873	Mar 27, 2014 by grateful2be
	And another thing!! (Preview) Just a little thought that I have been meaning to share here. Might sound silly. But there has been a particular actor that I have been obsessed with for over a decade and a half. So recently I re-watched the TV series he is famous for and that I have loved him in for all of these years...and as i watched it, I...	Melly1248	5	314	Mar 27, 2014 by Sweet Stanley
	Thanks to Google... I'm here... New Member Intro... (Preview) I'm here. Thanks to google. ALl of the soul searching, researching and web-searching brought me to this site. On this day. I'm feeling sad, scared, awkward and angry if I'm completely honest, and let's face it, we could all probably use a whole lot of honesty in our lives. I'm married to an addict/alco...	whatnow4us5	7	403	Mar 27, 2014 by whatnow4us5
	Husband furious I told kids (Preview) I am desperate for help. I have no where to turn. Went on Google and found this page. If anything, it might help that I just write something down and hopefully someone will have words of wisdom. My husband is an alcoholic. For the first 20 years of our marriage I was in deep, deep denial but the kids kne...	writeone	36	785	Mar 27, 2014 by writeone
	Hearing (Preview) Good Morning Everyone I got a call last night from my X and the my sons hearing is this morning. He and his wife are going to be there and so will I. I don't think our son even knows we know what happen to him because he has not tried to call us. We will go in support and pray for him. I'm looking at this as hope...	Cathyinaz	9	385	Mar 27, 2014 by oldergal
	Got some answers....finally (Preview) I finally got some .... I phoned the family violence line and it is without a doubt abuse. They told me how to handle the situation. So thankful today. My mind is very clear.	Truth	9	320	Mar 27, 2014 by Truth
	Stop ME NOW (Preview) I'm sitting here at work setting up computers and as I wait for the next thing to do....I'm at my PC looking at DUI Lawyers. WTH!!! Please tell me this is not good and he's going to have to deal with a public defender. I'm nuts!!!	Cathyinaz	17	570	Mar 27, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	What part of the program has to do with family? ( 1 2 ) (Preview) So I have been thinking. I have attended Al-anon for four years. In those four years pretty much every family I know has gotten divorced. I would say over 60% of the A's have had affairs in AA. The children are unhappy. So exactly what part of the program is to do with family values?	Truth	60	1012	Mar 27, 2014 by Truth
	Traditions as a Guide to Healthy Relationships (Preview) TRADITIONS AS A GUIDE TO HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS It is said that the unity of Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon is the most cherished quality our fellowships have. Our lives, the lives of all to come depend squarely upon it. The practice of our 12 steps puts our lives in order, but not necessarily our rel...	recoveryhope	4	6900	Mar 26, 2014 by Truth
	Wisdom here or should I say (Preview) Co dependent . Been a bad week I told myself I would not enter the ring of fire with my A . I agreed to that when I changed my name to wisdom . I'm going to be very careful what I say on here . My honesty has got me in worst problem then I have before . That's all I'm going to say . I know I'm keeping to my side and workin...	Wisdom67	2	268	Mar 26, 2014 by hotrod
	Sponsor feedback (Preview) She is a master manipulator. Right now you aren't a match for her skill. She doesn't have the tools to get where you are today. This is feedback from my sponsor regarding my end-of-relationship woes due to continuing contact with my ex. It pains me to hear my sponsor say it, but I know it to be true. I r...	recoveryhope	4	203	Mar 26, 2014 by DavidG
	Alcohol actually SAVED my marriage... (Preview) Said my AH. I couldn't believe my ears!! Alcohol saved it for that last 10 years or so?? Huh?? this is his explanation:" Every time you yelled at me I would drink and hide out in our room". So I guess what he means is he hid from me instead of fighting. So bizarre. This is the disease talking in ful...	Newlife girl	6	442	Mar 26, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	I know my rights (Preview) I know my right now as a person who struggle with every day choices and demands that are placed on us when we have the right , our own right to chose what is good for us . Like every other person -no matter what age exsperience or situation , I am rare , unique worthwhile,human being I will make mistakes and wi...	Wisdom67	7	387	Mar 26, 2014 by hotrod
	Hello (Preview) Hi, my name is Jenny and my husband is an A. I realised this about 2 1/2 years ago and since then have done all the usual things!! (Searched the house for bottles, been through his pockets for receipts, taken away his bank card, taken him to his GP, to AA, to 1-2-1 counselling, to hypnotherapy, to group ab...	Mum to Belle	4	346	Mar 26, 2014 by Mum to Belle
	Feeling Sad/Ashamed to show people who I really am. (Preview) Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I had a great weekend this past weekend. I went on a road-trip with some friends and had a great time. However, it left me feeling sad. On the way home, a friend of mine popped in and hung around my apartment while he waited for his girl...	slogan_jim	8	478	Mar 26, 2014 by sadsusie
	Whose emotions are these? (Preview) I love it when my A decides how I'm feeling. 'You seem pissed off.' 'Is something wrong?' 'I just don't get what's with you.' 'I'm just trying to help because I care!' I was just chilling out and making dinner. Projection much? Well, as AlAnon has taught me, not my problem, not something I can fix.	SpiderArcana	8	418	Mar 26, 2014 by flinn66
	My AH is tired of being "blamed" for his "cancer" (Preview) I am moving out soon, and I see divorce not far away. I hate it because I love HIM, its the Disease that destroys me. We are just so not on the same page. He is frustrated because he is being blamed for his disease. Sure I can understand where he gets the feeling of me blaming him...That needs to be and proba...	sadsusie	11	903	Mar 26, 2014 by flinn66
	I am in withdrawal going from calm, serene sitting still, to psychotic ugh (Preview) Ok there are times in the life of a person who is the only human in the house has its moments. No one to bring ya some water at night, help ya find your glasses, no one to say uh your deoderant is NOT working. for me right now, no one said, make sure you use your last week money you save for stuff,you save acouple...	Debilyn	8	506	Mar 26, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Halt (Preview) I was sitting here thinking about halt. I'm not angry or lonely but I can and will do something about hungry and tired. I haven't eaten anything for about 24 hours now so I got up and made myself a small bowl of soup. I don't feel hungry but I know I will sick soon if I don't eat something.....so I'm taking...	Cathyinaz	14	311	Mar 26, 2014 by AngelicH57
	Is he an Alcoholic? What do you think? (Preview) This is my first time visiting Al-Anon of any type. I have been married to my husband for four years and the whole time my Mom and Dad have told me that they believe he is an alcoholic and that I should check out Al-Anon. I don't want to be in any type of denial and I want to know for sure if he is an alcoholic so...	hmk	6	402	Mar 26, 2014 by milkwood
	haha..IRONY..haha (Preview) I just HAD to share this! So my AH has been gone for maybe 2 or 3 days...kept saying he was coming home...We both know I am moving out (tomorrow)...I have about giving up hope and I have been crying all day....so I had myself a beer. Now, I totally can't handle alcohol, I relax but I really can't do much else!...	sadsusie	6	218	Mar 25, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Morning (Preview) Nisa ( my son's kitty ) was with me last night. She laid by my side for a while. She purred and loved my scratching her ears. She noticed my phone with the wind turbines turning in the screen background. She couldn't keep her eyes off it. Then she started to attack, hitting the screen and opening up pr...	Cathyinaz	12	387	Mar 25, 2014 by Rose50
	Forgiveness. (Preview) Hi all. I've been posting on here for a while and have been contemplating posting this. Myself and a few other young women who have been survivors of abuse/addiction and more were featured on MTV about forgiveness.	Forgiveness82	3	331	Mar 25, 2014 by dayatatime123
	I have to stay positive; Let go & let God! (Preview) Just saying that today it is very important that I stay positive. I am going through a stalemate right now. I hope that I have the courage to stay where I am. Only God knows what will happen next. Perseverance is the key I think. I am only able to do what I can do. So, w/ the program in tact I can see the light at t...	Hoot Nanny	1	221	Mar 25, 2014 by hotrod
	QTIP & WAIT (Preview) It's been a rough winter, and I'm really glad spring has sprung! Even with all the lovely cottonwood fluff floating around and the back yard looking like a jungle of nettle.... Still struggling with codependent and rejection issues, but feeling a little stronger. I've been writing WAIT on my hands f...	Raven Juniper	8	295	Mar 25, 2014 by Inrecovery
	Stupid stuff I am feeling. (Preview) Well, I'm still under the same roof as ABF. But not in the same way. After his drunken attack 5 weeks ago I was feeling pretty screwed up. I knew something had to change but as I have explained on here before, I sort of had a bit of a PTSD spaz and just kind of lay in bed shaking for a week. I'll never forget that;...	Melly1248	10	504	Mar 25, 2014 by Melly1248
	Feeling the feelings (Preview) Its a while since I have shared here, in many ways my life is good and I generally find a balance in my feelings and emotions, but for the past week I have felt very flat. Whilst its so easy to blame being busy at work or the day to day stresses of life I spent some hours earlier in quiet meditation and contempl...	flinn66	6	479	Mar 25, 2014 by flinn66
	New Member Introduction -- Request for 4th step Experiences/Activities new member courage to change step 4 (Preview) Hi there. I am a new member on the Al-Anon family message board. I started attending Al-Anon meetings last month and have recently decided that I am Al-Anon and I would like to continue with the 12 steps. As it is, there are limited meeting times available to me in my area, and I do not yet have a sponsor...	HervieB	5	1987	Mar 25, 2014 by Jerry F
	Very confused (Preview) So my husband is a self-proclaimed alcoholic (he knows he is and so do I) that doesn't think his alcoholism is a problem. He thinks that since he doesn't go out and get drunk, works and supports the family and is functional that he doesn't have a problem. His mom, grandma and dad are all alcoholics as we...	arlivipj	11	382	Mar 24, 2014 by Jerry F
	Is my husband an alcoholic? (Preview) Hi everyone, It's my first time here. I am married for 15 years - 3 kids - my husband used to smoke weed with his friends but has stopped about 8 years ago. He also used to drink socially and would sometimes drink to the point of throwing up but again that was not very often. In the past few years, I would noti...	Shif	10	492	Mar 24, 2014 by Jerry F
	Intimacy (Preview) How do you handle intimacy? I have no desire whatsoever to be intimate with AH. NONE! All my feelings, how he acts, what he says to me etc...has zapped any feelings of intimacy that I can possibly have. I have tried explaining to him why, but stopped he doesn't get it. Seeing him all drunk walking ar...	chadg	11	486	Mar 24, 2014 by Jerry F
	And The pendulum swings...... (Preview) I have been thinking about my actions last night or Reactions really. Selfish actions made out of frustration and bitterness. This was NOT what I was going for. I was soooo proud of myself (still am) for finally standing up for myself and living MY life. I guess that while I was basking in my own glory I f...	sadsusie	6	434	Mar 24, 2014 by Jerry F
	we can work it out! (Preview) We can work it out! And, that is not just a song title. I am trying so hard to work things out w/ my mom. Over the weekend she talked to my husband about how she always jumps when I need something. Maybe that is true but she does need to one-up me. I guess she thinks that one good turn deserves another. She still...	Hoot Nanny	1	190	Mar 24, 2014 by mm830
	Still trying to learn the new balance.... (Preview) John's Hula Hoop made me think. I am okay staying in my Hula Hoop until I have to advocate for my son. If he was teenager, I would just teach him the tools and trust he could deal with it. I really like "minding my own business" lol Where is the balance in this situation? I still struggle with...	Truth	23	544	Mar 24, 2014 by Truth
	I have to keep reminding myself...but why?? (Preview) I left my AH a month ago after what he calls a slip up. Over the past few years his slip ups have been worse. He has been in jail once and the hospital 3 times. It was too much for me to handle. The roller coaster of alcoholism was making me crazy. I was always anxious waiting for him to drink again. He has been dr...	Newlife girl	12	406	Mar 24, 2014 by Beatrice
	Just venting before I explode (Preview) I can't believe how clueless my AH is! He can't be trusted not to drink and drive with the kids so he promised to take our 6 year old skiing, which is 60 miles away. Couldnt understand why I'd go, he said he was sorry, he's in control, read the term verbal vomit and that is so appropriate. So spent day in car an...	Kerrymom	4	520	Mar 24, 2014 by Kerrymom
	The hope of finding healthier people (Preview) I should have a happy smiley linked to the title but right now I'm just crying. I have been so enmeshed in a very sick relationship that I have been unable to get out of in spite of about 3 years of trying to leave. I was sick when I got into this relationship in the beginning, about a decade ago. I feel that I a...	ClearTheFog	14	447	Mar 24, 2014 by ClearTheFog
	Fear (Preview) Good Morning all Yesterday I spent a lot of the day praying, reading and went to a open AA meeting. My fear is there and I have cried quite a bit yesterday. My son's phone was checked and there is nothing. We can only pray it's off because he when to a safe place and that's a rehab center but if not we don't h...	Cathyinaz	17	474	Mar 24, 2014 by debhud
	My new counselor as of today said........ (Preview) I sound like I have some isms and may be codependent. I love him already and feel like after my first session he will be able to help me through some things. He knows of both programs and our session was awesome. So glad to be doing the work again! I only get an al-anon meeting every other Tuesday night with w...	Breakingfree	10	596	Mar 23, 2014 by Breakingfree
	A's drinking buddies won't leave (Preview) There are a bunch of people who have turned our house into a "party shack" and won't leave me alone. This might be a common problem. They are claiming I am harassing them when I try to get them to leave and that I am creating a chaotic environment. Arrrgh. I have already gotten into trouble for y...	Baffled	7	763	Mar 23, 2014 by tommywhite
	Recovery is like a vast supply of water.... (Preview) *Welcome to Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums!* *Twelve Step recovery programs can be a life sustaining substance to many people, just as water is.You can get a cup full or a barrel full. There is plenty here to take as much as you want or need.****If you leave too quickly and don't get enough, you are...*	John	6	247	Mar 23, 2014 by lightblue2
	Financial toll of alcoholism (Preview) We don't talk about the finances of an alcoholic's consequences on here too much, or maybe I just hadn't noticesd it untilit really hit me this week, when we had the hearing for 2nd DUI. I wanted to write this for two reasons: get it off my chest with someone besides recovering AW, and so other folks can...	KennyFenderjazz	16	584	Mar 23, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Guilt shame won't let be live (Preview) I'm really looking for some help here guidance I should say . I got my self in a pickle. My regrets denial shame guilt has ruled my life for as long as I can remember . I took my books out again reading the Alaon on way to me it's the only way I know I can find a grounded way to living my life the way I should be and tr...	Wisdom67	11	440	Mar 23, 2014 by hotrod
	Minding my own business (Preview) I love this recovery program, someone said 'Its a simple program and its us who make it complicated' which is really true for me, its the simple things that have the most power. Im such a grateful member of Alanon and I love to read the wisdom of old timers who can speak this language really well as I can lea...	el-cee	9	532	Mar 23, 2014 by Truth
	New member here (Very lengthy post) (Preview) Please forgive any mistakes I may make. Im not only new to this group, Im new to posting anything in a forum. I am hoping to find some support until I can get enough courage to actually attend a meeting in person. The closest one to me does not meet until next Saturday, and Im feeling so desperate right n...	NatalieP	6	486	Mar 23, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Things winding down and not .. (Preview) It seems that things are winding down and not so much .. stbax has been laid off. Well, .. I'm not getting divorced while he's laid off .. lol .. how stupid do I look? Apparently, I have "STUPID" written across my forehead with these atty's and it just blows my mind. I'm thinking that my May t...	SerenityRUS	6	424	Mar 23, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Emotional Abuse ( 1 2 3 ) (Preview) Why is emotional abuse so prevalent in recovering alcoholics if they are practicing a program?	Truth	92	1965	Mar 23, 2014 by Truth
	Supporting a Significant Other (Preview) So I've been getting serious with a very cool girl who is the love of my life and is a recovering alcoholic. She has been sober a little over a year and I have only known her during this time. I would like to learn the best ways to support her because I want to be there for her in all walks of life; however, I fran...	ardy9	3	563	Mar 23, 2014 by hotrod
	I feel like I can take my life back (Preview) I am so pleased today. I have had a handful of small challenges and I have reacted differently to them. I've been standing up for myself and standing my ground and doing what I want. I had secured a new place to live on Friday, so that was certainly a beginning. My AH broke our "deal" by being...	sadsusie	7	510	Mar 23, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Oops I did it again! (Preview) Good morning, Here is my story. I was married to an A for 12 years. Had 2 sons with him. I lived in his crazy world and at first I tried to hide his alcholism from my family. He would regularly disappoint the three of us. Through many arrests and jail terms, the final straw for me was when he was arrested f...	cmb	3	378	Mar 23, 2014 by hopes314
	my mom is using me again... (Preview) I am sorry to say but I am tired of my mom using me. She once again, only is in it for herself. I noticed that the last few days she hasn't called or anything but today she needs me to get into her email so she can once again, get her tickets for her trip down to see my family. Again, basically she is kicking me to t...	Hoot Nanny	2	332	Mar 23, 2014 by John
	New Here and Need Help (Preview) I'm new to this board, but not to Al Anon. I try to attend meetings when I can. My story is probably similar to many of you. I've been married for 19 years, two girls ages 12 and 15. My AH has progressively gotten worse over time, but has not hit rock bottom yet, so still denies that he has a problem. He drin...	Jkphotogal	14	445	Mar 23, 2014 by John
	Recovery vs Working For God (Preview) Not all alcoholics are the same. There's the dominant type and the dependent type. Not all Alanons are the same. There's the dominant type and the dependent type. And actually, every human being, alcoholic or alanon, has both of these personality traits. Its just about knowing what your percentage...	WorkingThroughIt	11	537	Mar 22, 2014 by Debilyn
	quote (Preview) Feeling gratitude & not expressing it is like wrapping a present & not giving it! Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	2	144	Mar 22, 2014 by el-cee
	He went away OK (Preview) I just got off the phone with my X's wife and she said they kept my son for 12 hours before releasing him. They also asked him to go to detox but he refused. This makes me feel a little better ( WHAT?) he didn't leave in such a bad state even though he will go down pretty quickly unless he stabilizes his syst...	Cathyinaz	14	572	Mar 22, 2014 by AngelicH57
	Is he an Alcoholic? (Preview) This is my first time visiting Al-Anon of any type. I have been married to my husband for four years and the whole time my Mom and Dad have told me that they believe he is an alcoholic and that I should check out Al-Anon. I don't want to be in any type of denial and I want to know for sure if he is an alcoholic so...	hmk	4	331	Mar 22, 2014 by Jerry F
	Trying to regain trust .... (Preview) I'M trying to figure out when I will be able to trust my AH after his big relapse five weeks ago and still drinking one or two days a week. I don't trust him with nothing not even the money he makes that goes in our joint banking account because I'm always wondering if he will drinking our money away. I try to g...	NavySealWife	5	467	Mar 21, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Fear of "Being Duped" - your experience please (Preview) I'm watching a TV showe where someone in recovery is talking about feeling "tricked" or getting something different than they thought or were told theyd get. anyone have ideas on where this comes from? I'm coming up with this: feeling let down by parents or other authority figures. Can y...	WorkingThroughIt	7	587	Mar 21, 2014 by grateful2be
	He's Homeless (Preview) Just got a text message from my X. My son was not right so he took him to the hospital to find out he's been drinking and his BAC was .507. They came home and my X asked for my son keys so he can sober up before he leaves but my son refused and is out driving. My son is officially homeless... First I pray he d...	Cathyinaz	30	570	Mar 21, 2014 by Breakingfree
	a reason to post (Preview) I am under a lot of stress. It seems that I will not get health insurance until they fix a problem I am having getting it. I am waiting for a response & am on pins & needles. I would rather not say what the real issue is because I feel that it is private & that mentioning it would be a bad idea even on...	Hoot Nanny	3	218	Mar 21, 2014 by grateful2be
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.