Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

This morning I went to my COPD study and blew my lungs out. I'm not liking this study but it is what it is. The money bought my groceries this week and that's a good thing. I'm at peace on one hand and upset on another. Getting a grip on what is happening to my son can really take you down if you let it. I fee...

Aloha · Aloha

Normally, when I want to scream, I'll do it. Scream come on out. But I'm having one of those days where an employee is making me completely bonkers (she's an alcoholic, so no surprise there.) I hear more and more news about her manipulating and doing stuff on the sly and I just want to SCREAM. But screamin...

tortuga · tortuga

in recovery while walking on this new path, I have to keep myself reminding 'this too shall pass', and 'if i keep on doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results, that is my insanity'. Those two really help right now. I miss him, the good times we had, and I'm resisting the surge...

milkwood · milkwood

I'm posting this in the hope that I and others might learn from my mistakes and because writing on the board here always helps me to gain some insight. The question that I'm struggling with now is why do I give so much more weight to what my AH thinks of me than I do to the voice of other people in my life? I mad...

Truth · Truth

So I trusted my gut today and reported the behaviors to the police for my son. They cannot tell me what is going on but say that my gut is 100% correct. I don't think he is using/drinking however there are highly illegal behaviors. They advised me that I should go back to my lawyer and ask for supervised vis...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

It has been a week is putting it mildly and I've had the opportunity to share some Alanon with some friends even. I am grateful for the experience. What I love so much about this program I can give it away and other people don't know I'm doing it. There is a lot of addiction issues and consequences from sa...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

That was the topic of last nights meeting and I love that slogan and because of the simplicity forget it the easiest at times so it was a great reminder. This for me relates directly to my need to be right .. I have wondered if it's my need to be right .. or is it my need to be heard especially by others who are t...

Lyne · Lyne

It's a rough week for me due to having a crisis with needing helpers for my 90 yr old mom. So guess what I found myself doing this morning? Obsessing about my A. Like where the hell did that come from? I don't have enought stress already? I'm already having anxiety everyday. I'm getting the run arou...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am going to study, workout, but besides the normal hum drum, I am going to laugh and enjoy this day. I was on the pity pot most the day yesterday and wasted precious moments. Today is a brand new day and I deserve to be happy and to feel healthy. I did my al-anon readings and am going to roll with God today...

skahtul · skahtul

I have posted here some months back and I really haven't been back on the board unfortunately. The insights and thoughts I gained really helped me to see that my wife's addiction was her problem and that my co-dependency problems were mine. They were so helpful at that point in her recovery I am forever...

John · John

If you didn't know how old you are, how old would you be? What age would you place yourself at? for me... a youthful spirit, a youthful brain, shared with a 55 yr old body... I would guess I'm about 30 yrs old. or a very immature 35 yr. old. My body tells the truth but my spirit and brain don't listen to it t...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Thats the very best I can do. Aloha Family...Thursday morning in Hilo. Woke up in conversation with my HP repeating "place me where you want me...tell me what to do" and then went to my business. My office is a garden and the biggest part of my work is to have it look like the best part of th...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I'm good with my decisions not bailing my son out and I'm think I'm doing good but just after posting this morning I'm feeling anxious about it. I feel some fear for my son and some "what ifs" are coming into play. Why does this happen? The feelings aren't bad but they are there. Now I want t...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

So, another day is upon me. I am still in the waiting position. Nothing happens really on MY schedule. I am not complaining just stating a fact. I have had worse days for sure. Today is an example of going w/ the flow. I am doing what is in front of me. I am accepting the things I cannot change. I am hoping for t...

jillybean1 · jillybean1

Well, my AH is out of rehab, has his phone back and is in a 1/2 way house. I started off asking how he was and it went bad. So now we talk about the weather and the little stray cat he befriended near his house. It is very weird to have to try so hard to stay out of his business after being so wrapped up in it for...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Well got paid Wed. so did a couple errands, got meds. Then took myself to get Chinese food, sit, read, be warm and do paperwork. I asked for in the back quiet... THEN they sat this grama and grampa down with two girl grandkids behind me. I am jumbled, they were loud. Grampa kept talking about a squirrel in t...

Stressedmom · Stressedmom

I am just now dealing with my grown daughters first rehab stay after learning she was on prescription drugs bought off the streets. She is getting help and I am proud of her for that. But...she has been calling wanting to know if she could move back home for a couple weeks until the rehab finds her another...

lookingup · lookingup

A/bf. has been doing soo good trying so hard working hard found a great job he was soo happy,I thought we could build us an empire the way things were going,then out of. nowhere he started acting diff.lost interest in his job,I finaly had to get him out of my home,I wanted so bad for us to make it everything...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I am sad today but grateful my son is not dead. I went online and found a booking number on the Yavapai Sheriff website. My son has been arrested. I called and he has 6 counts against him ( DUI ). In Arizona he will be doing a long of time in prison now. He has lost everything......and now his freedom....

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Wow, I am soooooo glad I found alanon and MIP when I did. I'm seeing everything with different eyes and I'm so glad of that right now. Daughter, you see, has done some fairly fast maturing of late. It started with her telling me that she wants to learn French (they don't offer languages at her little prima...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

In the last 6 weeks I left my AH. He got fired from his job too. We might be losing our house. I was really happy when I first moved out. Now my moods are all over the place. I try not to constantly think about all these changes. But I find myself thinking about my marriage a lot. Thinking about how much alcoho...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

There is a chance that my husband has COPD. The results of his first test were positive. No results yet on the 2nd one. Of course the first thing I thought was about me & having to let go of my husband which naturally I do. I am being kind of selfish only thinking of myself for a moment. I guess I feel like I...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

I wish I could get a physical giant hug from everyone here. Lord knows I need 1. I have not posted on here in ages! I since have managed to disentangle myself from the throws of feeling helpless and yet controlling and accomplish some things emotionally with myself & this disease- And let go of ridin...

tishrijo · tishrijo

Hi everyone, I need to "alanon it out" again....I am finding myself feeling a strong need to help a young friend out who is under DCF investigation and afraid she will loose her 4 month old daughter. Her Alcoholic/dysfunctional family is of no support to her. They have pretty much wiped t...

Tina2014 · Tina2014

All of my life, I have had a mom who has never allowed me to express my feelings. She has always attacked me by saying "your too sensitive" or "you shouldn't feel that way" or even worse, my mother would deny every hurting my feelings by saying, "I never said that" or &qu...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Just a little thought that I have been meaning to share here. Might sound silly. But there has been a particular actor that I have been obsessed with for over a decade and a half. So recently I re-watched the TV series he is famous for and that I have loved him in for all of these years...and as i watched it, I...

whatnow4us5 · whatnow4us5

I'm here. Thanks to google. ALl of the soul searching, researching and web-searching brought me to this site. On this day. I'm feeling sad, scared, awkward and angry if I'm completely honest, and let's face it, we could all probably use a whole lot of honesty in our lives. I'm married to an addict/alco...

writeone · writeone

I am desperate for help. I have no where to turn. Went on Google and found this page. If anything, it might help that I just write something down and hopefully someone will have words of wisdom. My husband is an alcoholic. For the first 20 years of our marriage I was in deep, deep denial but the kids kne...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning Everyone I got a call last night from my X and the my sons hearing is this morning. He and his wife are going to be there and so will I. I don't think our son even knows we know what happen to him because he has not tried to call us. We will go in support and pray for him. I'm looking at this as hope...

Truth · Truth

I finally got some .... I phoned the family violence line and it is without a doubt abuse. They told me how to handle the situation. So thankful today. My mind is very clear.

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I'm sitting here at work setting up computers and as I wait for the next thing to do....I'm at my PC looking at DUI Lawyers. WTH!!! Please tell me this is not good and he's going to have to deal with a public defender. I'm nuts!!!

Truth · Truth

So I have been thinking. I have attended Al-anon for four years. In those four years pretty much every family I know has gotten divorced. I would say over 60% of the A's have had affairs in AA. The children are unhappy. So exactly what part of the program is to do with family values?

recoveryhope · recoveryhope

TRADITIONS AS A GUIDE TO HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS It is said that the unity of Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon is the most cherished quality our fellowships have. Our lives, the lives of all to come depend squarely upon it. The practice of our 12 steps puts our lives in order, but not necessarily our rel...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Co dependent . Been a bad week I told myself I would not enter the ring of fire with my A . I agreed to that when I changed my name to wisdom . I'm going to be very careful what I say on here . My honesty has got me in worst problem then I have before . That's all I'm going to say . I know I'm keeping to my side and workin...

recoveryhope · recoveryhope

She is a master manipulator. Right now you aren't a match for her skill. She doesn't have the tools to get where you are today. This is feedback from my sponsor regarding my end-of-relationship woes due to continuing contact with my ex. It pains me to hear my sponsor say it, but I know it to be true. I r...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Said my AH. I couldn't believe my ears!! Alcohol saved it for that last 10 years or so?? Huh?? this is his explanation:" Every time you yelled at me I would drink and hide out in our room". So I guess what he means is he hid from me instead of fighting. So bizarre. This is the disease talking in ful...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

I know my right now as a person who struggle with every day choices and demands that are placed on us when we have the right , our own right to chose what is good for us . Like every other person -no matter what age exsperience or situation , I am rare , unique worthwhile,human being I will make mistakes and wi...

Mum to Belle · Mum to Belle

Hi, my name is Jenny and my husband is an A. I realised this about 2 1/2 years ago and since then have done all the usual things!! (Searched the house for bottles, been through his pockets for receipts, taken away his bank card, taken him to his GP, to AA, to 1-2-1 counselling, to hypnotherapy, to group ab...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I had a great weekend this past weekend. I went on a road-trip with some friends and had a great time. However, it left me feeling sad. On the way home, a friend of mine popped in and hung around my apartment while he waited for his girl...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

I love it when my A decides how I'm feeling. 'You seem pissed off.' 'Is something wrong?' 'I just don't get what's with you.' 'I'm just trying to help because I care!' I was just chilling out and making dinner. Projection much? Well, as AlAnon has taught me, not my problem, not something I can fix.

sadsusie · sadsusie

I am moving out soon, and I see divorce not far away. I hate it because I love HIM, its the Disease that destroys me. We are just so not on the same page. He is frustrated because he is being blamed for his disease. Sure I can understand where he gets the feeling of me blaming him...That needs to be and proba...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Ok there are times in the life of a person who is the only human in the house has its moments. No one to bring ya some water at night, help ya find your glasses, no one to say uh your deoderant is NOT working. for me right now, no one said, make sure you use your last week money you save for stuff,you save acouple...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I was sitting here thinking about halt. I'm not angry or lonely but I can and will do something about hungry and tired. I haven't eaten anything for about 24 hours now so I got up and made myself a small bowl of soup. I don't feel hungry but I know I will sick soon if I don't eat something.....so I'm taking...

hmk · hmk

This is my first time visiting Al-Anon of any type. I have been married to my husband for four years and the whole time my Mom and Dad have told me that they believe he is an alcoholic and that I should check out Al-Anon. I don't want to be in any type of denial and I want to know for sure if he is an alcoholic so...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I just HAD to share this! So my AH has been gone for maybe 2 or 3 days...kept saying he was coming home...We both know I am moving out (tomorrow)...I have about giving up hope and I have been crying all day....so I had myself a beer. Now, I totally can't handle alcohol, I relax but I really can't do much else!...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Nisa ( my son's kitty ) was with me last night. She laid by my side for a while. She purred and loved my scratching her ears. She noticed my phone with the wind turbines turning in the screen background. She couldn't keep her eyes off it. Then she started to attack, hitting the screen and opening up pr...

Forgiveness82 · Forgiveness82

Hi all. I've been posting on here for a while and have been contemplating posting this. Myself and a few other young women who have been survivors of abuse/addiction and more were featured on MTV about forgiveness.

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just saying that today it is very important that I stay positive. I am going through a stalemate right now. I hope that I have the courage to stay where I am. Only God knows what will happen next. Perseverance is the key I think. I am only able to do what I can do. So, w/ the program in tact I can see the light at t...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

It's been a rough winter, and I'm really glad spring has sprung! Even with all the lovely cottonwood fluff floating around and the back yard looking like a jungle of nettle.... Still struggling with codependent and rejection issues, but feeling a little stronger. I've been writing WAIT on my hands f...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Well, I'm still under the same roof as ABF. But not in the same way. After his drunken attack 5 weeks ago I was feeling pretty screwed up. I knew something had to change but as I have explained on here before, I sort of had a bit of a PTSD spaz and just kind of lay in bed shaking for a week. I'll never forget that;...

flinn66 · flinn66

Its a while since I have shared here, in many ways my life is good and I generally find a balance in my feelings and emotions, but for the past week I have felt very flat. Whilst its so easy to blame being busy at work or the day to day stresses of life I spent some hours earlier in quiet meditation and contempl...

HervieB · HervieB

Hi there. I am a new member on the Al-Anon family message board. I started attending Al-Anon meetings last month and have recently decided that I am Al-Anon and I would like to continue with the 12 steps. As it is, there are limited meeting times available to me in my area, and I do not yet have a sponsor...

arlivipj · arlivipj

So my husband is a self-proclaimed alcoholic (he knows he is and so do I) that doesn't think his alcoholism is a problem. He thinks that since he doesn't go out and get drunk, works and supports the family and is functional that he doesn't have a problem. His mom, grandma and dad are all alcoholics as we...

Shif · Shif

Hi everyone, It's my first time here. I am married for 15 years - 3 kids - my husband used to smoke weed with his friends but has stopped about 8 years ago. He also used to drink socially and would sometimes drink to the point of throwing up but again that was not very often. In the past few years, I would noti...

chadg · chadg

How do you handle intimacy? I have no desire whatsoever to be intimate with AH. NONE! All my feelings, how he acts, what he says to me etc...has zapped any feelings of intimacy that I can possibly have. I have tried explaining to him why, but stopped he doesn't get it. Seeing him all drunk walking ar...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I have been thinking about my actions last night or Reactions really. Selfish actions made out of frustration and bitterness. This was NOT what I was going for. I was soooo proud of myself (still am) for finally standing up for myself and living MY life. I guess that while I was basking in my own glory I f...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

We can work it out! And, that is not just a song title. I am trying so hard to work things out w/ my mom. Over the weekend she talked to my husband about how she always jumps when I need something. Maybe that is true but she does need to one-up me. I guess she thinks that one good turn deserves another. She still...

Truth · Truth

John's Hula Hoop made me think. I am okay staying in my Hula Hoop until I have to advocate for my son. If he was teenager, I would just teach him the tools and trust he could deal with it. I really like "minding my own business" lol Where is the balance in this situation? I still struggle with...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I left my AH a month ago after what he calls a slip up. Over the past few years his slip ups have been worse. He has been in jail once and the hospital 3 times. It was too much for me to handle. The roller coaster of alcoholism was making me crazy. I was always anxious waiting for him to drink again. He has been dr...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

I can't believe how clueless my AH is! He can't be trusted not to drink and drive with the kids so he promised to take our 6 year old skiing, which is 60 miles away. Couldnt understand why I'd go, he said he was sorry, he's in control, read the term verbal vomit and that is so appropriate. So spent day in car an...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Up's and Down's (Preview) This morning I went to my COPD study and blew my lungs out. I'm not liking this study but it is what it is. The money bought my groceries this week and that's a good thing. I'm at peace on one hand and upset on another. Getting a grip on what is happening to my son can really take you down if you let it. I fee...	Cathyinaz	9	461	Mar 30, 2014 by mm830
	What to do when you really, REALLY want to scream (Preview) Normally, when I want to scream, I'll do it. Scream come on out. But I'm having one of those days where an employee is making me completely bonkers (she's an alcoholic, so no surprise there.) I hear more and more news about her manipulating and doing stuff on the sly and I just want to SCREAM. But screamin...	Aloha	10	654	Mar 30, 2014 by likemyheart
	learning to love…. starting with me (Preview) in recovery while walking on this new path, I have to keep myself reminding 'this too shall pass', and 'if i keep on doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results, that is my insanity'. Those two really help right now. I miss him, the good times we had, and I'm resisting the surge...	tortuga	4	418	Mar 30, 2014 by el-cee
	Learning curve (Preview) I'm posting this in the hope that I and others might learn from my mistakes and because writing on the board here always helps me to gain some insight. The question that I'm struggling with now is why do I give so much more weight to what my AH thinks of me than I do to the voice of other people in my life? I mad...	milkwood	7	462	Mar 30, 2014 by milkwood
	Mother's Intuition (Preview) So I trusted my gut today and reported the behaviors to the police for my son. They cannot tell me what is going on but say that my gut is 100% correct. I don't think he is using/drinking however there are highly illegal behaviors. They advised me that I should go back to my lawyer and ask for supervised vis...	Truth	12	355	Mar 29, 2014 by Truth
	Prayers (Preview) It has been a week is putting it mildly and I've had the opportunity to share some Alanon with some friends even. I am grateful for the experience. What I love so much about this program I can give it away and other people don't know I'm doing it. There is a lot of addiction issues and consequences from sa...	SerenityRUS	2	247	Mar 29, 2014 by mm830
	How Important Is It? (Preview) That was the topic of last nights meeting and I love that slogan and because of the simplicity forget it the easiest at times so it was a great reminder. This for me relates directly to my need to be right .. I have wondered if it's my need to be right .. or is it my need to be heard especially by others who are t...	SerenityRUS	1	1866	Mar 29, 2014 by hotrod
	Obsessing again (Preview) It's a rough week for me due to having a crisis with needing helpers for my 90 yr old mom. So guess what I found myself doing this morning? Obsessing about my A. Like where the hell did that come from? I don't have enought stress already? I'm already having anxiety everyday. I'm getting the run arou...	Lyne	8	243	Mar 29, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Today~What can I do with it? (Preview) I am going to study, workout, but besides the normal hum drum, I am going to laugh and enjoy this day. I was on the pity pot most the day yesterday and wasted precious moments. Today is a brand new day and I deserve to be happy and to feel healthy. I did my al-anon readings and am going to roll with God today...	Breakingfree	4	303	Mar 29, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Thought I was doing good work but it takes so much longer than I ever imagined. (Preview) I have posted here some months back and I really haven't been back on the board unfortunately. The insights and thoughts I gained really helped me to see that my wife's addiction was her problem and that my co-dependency problems were mine. They were so helpful at that point in her recovery I am forever...	skahtul	9	551	Mar 29, 2014 by skahtul
	If you didn't know... (Preview) If you didn't know how old you are, how old would you be? What age would you place yourself at? for me... a youthful spirit, a youthful brain, shared with a 55 yr old body... I would guess I'm about 30 yrs old. or a very immature 35 yr. old. My body tells the truth but my spirit and brain don't listen to it t...	John	10	482	Mar 28, 2014 by Tasha
	Always Prayers...Always (Preview) Thats the very best I can do. Aloha Family...Thursday morning in Hilo. Woke up in conversation with my HP repeating "place me where you want me...tell me what to do" and then went to my business. My office is a garden and the biggest part of my work is to have it look like the best part of th...	Jerry F	9	409	Mar 28, 2014 by Tasha
	Good Morning (Preview) I'm good with my decisions not bailing my son out and I'm think I'm doing good but just after posting this morning I'm feeling anxious about it. I feel some fear for my son and some "what ifs" are coming into play. Why does this happen? The feelings aren't bad but they are there. Now I want t...	Cathyinaz	12	552	Mar 28, 2014 by oldergal
	going w/ the flow(if it is possible today) (Preview) So, another day is upon me. I am still in the waiting position. Nothing happens really on MY schedule. I am not complaining just stating a fact. I have had worse days for sure. Today is an example of going w/ the flow. I am doing what is in front of me. I am accepting the things I cannot change. I am hoping for t...	Hoot Nanny	1	320	Mar 28, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Find myself talking about the weather..... (Preview) Well, my AH is out of rehab, has his phone back and is in a 1/2 way house. I started off asking how he was and it went bad. So now we talk about the weather and the little stray cat he befriended near his house. It is very weird to have to try so hard to stay out of his business after being so wrapped up in it for...	jillybean1	2	413	Mar 28, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	withdrawal day...um I forget! (Preview) Well got paid Wed. so did a couple errands, got meds. Then took myself to get Chinese food, sit, read, be warm and do paperwork. I asked for in the back quiet... THEN they sat this grama and grampa down with two girl grandkids behind me. I am jumbled, they were loud. Grampa kept talking about a squirrel in t...	Debilyn	3	620	Mar 28, 2014 by grateful2be
	Then whose fault is it? (Preview) I am just now dealing with my grown daughters first rehab stay after learning she was on prescription drugs bought off the streets. She is getting help and I am proud of her for that. But...she has been calling wanting to know if she could move back home for a couple weeks until the rehab finds her another...	Stressedmom	6	541	Mar 28, 2014 by grateful2be
	Help me!!!! (Preview) A/bf. has been doing soo good trying so hard working hard found a great job he was soo happy,I thought we could build us an empire the way things were going,then out of. nowhere he started acting diff.lost interest in his job,I finaly had to get him out of my home,I wanted so bad for us to make it everything...	lookingup	9	529	Mar 28, 2014 by Breakingfree
	In Jail (Preview) I am sad today but grateful my son is not dead. I went online and found a booking number on the Yavapai Sheriff website. My son has been arrested. I called and he has 6 counts against him ( DUI ). In Arizona he will be doing a long of time in prison now. He has lost everything......and now his freedom....	Cathyinaz	37	625	Mar 28, 2014 by mercedes1959
	J'adore al-anon et MIP!!! (Preview) Wow, I am soooooo glad I found alanon and MIP when I did. I'm seeing everything with different eyes and I'm so glad of that right now. Daughter, you see, has done some fairly fast maturing of late. It started with her telling me that she wants to learn French (they don't offer languages at her little prima...	Melly1248	11	527	Mar 28, 2014 by Melly1248
	Feeling depressed. It's all catching up to me. Hoping for encouragement (Preview) In the last 6 weeks I left my AH. He got fired from his job too. We might be losing our house. I was really happy when I first moved out. Now my moods are all over the place. I try not to constantly think about all these changes. But I find myself thinking about my marriage a lot. Thinking about how much alcoho...	Newlife girl	9	598	Mar 27, 2014 by JG123
	prayers needed...possible bad news! (Preview) There is a chance that my husband has COPD. The results of his first test were positive. No results yet on the 2nd one. Of course the first thing I thought was about me & having to let go of my husband which naturally I do. I am being kind of selfish only thinking of myself for a moment. I guess I feel like I...	Hoot Nanny	3	440	Mar 27, 2014 by Jen
	crisis…. Not really for him, It was for me. (Preview) I wish I could get a physical giant hug from everyone here. Lord knows I need 1. I have not posted on here in ages! I since have managed to disentangle myself from the throws of feeling helpless and yet controlling and accomplish some things emotionally with myself & this disease- And let go of ridin...	giraffe13	13	533	Mar 27, 2014 by giraffe13
	Needing e/s/h (Preview) Hi everyone, I need to "alanon it out" again....I am finding myself feeling a strong need to help a young friend out who is under DCF investigation and afraid she will loose her 4 month old daughter. Her Alcoholic/dysfunctional family is of no support to her. They have pretty much wiped t...	tishrijo	6	364	Mar 27, 2014 by Jerry F
	I think I might have to disown my family.... (Preview) All of my life, I have had a mom who has never allowed me to express my feelings. She has always attacked me by saying "your too sensitive" or "you shouldn't feel that way" or even worse, my mother would deny every hurting my feelings by saying, "I never said that" or &qu...	Tina2014	6	930	Mar 27, 2014 by grateful2be
	And another thing!! (Preview) Just a little thought that I have been meaning to share here. Might sound silly. But there has been a particular actor that I have been obsessed with for over a decade and a half. So recently I re-watched the TV series he is famous for and that I have loved him in for all of these years...and as i watched it, I...	Melly1248	5	381	Mar 27, 2014 by Sweet Stanley
	Thanks to Google... I'm here... New Member Intro... (Preview) I'm here. Thanks to google. ALl of the soul searching, researching and web-searching brought me to this site. On this day. I'm feeling sad, scared, awkward and angry if I'm completely honest, and let's face it, we could all probably use a whole lot of honesty in our lives. I'm married to an addict/alco...	whatnow4us5	7	470	Mar 27, 2014 by whatnow4us5
	Husband furious I told kids (Preview) I am desperate for help. I have no where to turn. Went on Google and found this page. If anything, it might help that I just write something down and hopefully someone will have words of wisdom. My husband is an alcoholic. For the first 20 years of our marriage I was in deep, deep denial but the kids kne...	writeone	36	844	Mar 27, 2014 by writeone
	Hearing (Preview) Good Morning Everyone I got a call last night from my X and the my sons hearing is this morning. He and his wife are going to be there and so will I. I don't think our son even knows we know what happen to him because he has not tried to call us. We will go in support and pray for him. I'm looking at this as hope...	Cathyinaz	9	443	Mar 27, 2014 by oldergal
	Got some answers....finally (Preview) I finally got some .... I phoned the family violence line and it is without a doubt abuse. They told me how to handle the situation. So thankful today. My mind is very clear.	Truth	9	378	Mar 27, 2014 by Truth
	Stop ME NOW (Preview) I'm sitting here at work setting up computers and as I wait for the next thing to do....I'm at my PC looking at DUI Lawyers. WTH!!! Please tell me this is not good and he's going to have to deal with a public defender. I'm nuts!!!	Cathyinaz	17	631	Mar 27, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	What part of the program has to do with family? ( 1 2 ) (Preview) So I have been thinking. I have attended Al-anon for four years. In those four years pretty much every family I know has gotten divorced. I would say over 60% of the A's have had affairs in AA. The children are unhappy. So exactly what part of the program is to do with family values?	Truth	60	1129	Mar 27, 2014 by Truth
	Traditions as a Guide to Healthy Relationships (Preview) TRADITIONS AS A GUIDE TO HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS It is said that the unity of Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon is the most cherished quality our fellowships have. Our lives, the lives of all to come depend squarely upon it. The practice of our 12 steps puts our lives in order, but not necessarily our rel...	recoveryhope	4	7762	Mar 26, 2014 by Truth
	Wisdom here or should I say (Preview) Co dependent . Been a bad week I told myself I would not enter the ring of fire with my A . I agreed to that when I changed my name to wisdom . I'm going to be very careful what I say on here . My honesty has got me in worst problem then I have before . That's all I'm going to say . I know I'm keeping to my side and workin...	Wisdom67	2	325	Mar 26, 2014 by hotrod
	Sponsor feedback (Preview) She is a master manipulator. Right now you aren't a match for her skill. She doesn't have the tools to get where you are today. This is feedback from my sponsor regarding my end-of-relationship woes due to continuing contact with my ex. It pains me to hear my sponsor say it, but I know it to be true. I r...	recoveryhope	4	261	Mar 26, 2014 by DavidG
	Alcohol actually SAVED my marriage... (Preview) Said my AH. I couldn't believe my ears!! Alcohol saved it for that last 10 years or so?? Huh?? this is his explanation:" Every time you yelled at me I would drink and hide out in our room". So I guess what he means is he hid from me instead of fighting. So bizarre. This is the disease talking in ful...	Newlife girl	6	510	Mar 26, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	I know my rights (Preview) I know my right now as a person who struggle with every day choices and demands that are placed on us when we have the right , our own right to chose what is good for us . Like every other person -no matter what age exsperience or situation , I am rare , unique worthwhile,human being I will make mistakes and wi...	Wisdom67	7	451	Mar 26, 2014 by hotrod
	Hello (Preview) Hi, my name is Jenny and my husband is an A. I realised this about 2 1/2 years ago and since then have done all the usual things!! (Searched the house for bottles, been through his pockets for receipts, taken away his bank card, taken him to his GP, to AA, to 1-2-1 counselling, to hypnotherapy, to group ab...	Mum to Belle	4	410	Mar 26, 2014 by Mum to Belle
	Feeling Sad/Ashamed to show people who I really am. (Preview) Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I had a great weekend this past weekend. I went on a road-trip with some friends and had a great time. However, it left me feeling sad. On the way home, a friend of mine popped in and hung around my apartment while he waited for his girl...	slogan_jim	8	537	Mar 26, 2014 by sadsusie
	Whose emotions are these? (Preview) I love it when my A decides how I'm feeling. 'You seem pissed off.' 'Is something wrong?' 'I just don't get what's with you.' 'I'm just trying to help because I care!' I was just chilling out and making dinner. Projection much? Well, as AlAnon has taught me, not my problem, not something I can fix.	SpiderArcana	8	480	Mar 26, 2014 by flinn66
	My AH is tired of being "blamed" for his "cancer" (Preview) I am moving out soon, and I see divorce not far away. I hate it because I love HIM, its the Disease that destroys me. We are just so not on the same page. He is frustrated because he is being blamed for his disease. Sure I can understand where he gets the feeling of me blaming him...That needs to be and proba...	sadsusie	11	994	Mar 26, 2014 by flinn66
	I am in withdrawal going from calm, serene sitting still, to psychotic ugh (Preview) Ok there are times in the life of a person who is the only human in the house has its moments. No one to bring ya some water at night, help ya find your glasses, no one to say uh your deoderant is NOT working. for me right now, no one said, make sure you use your last week money you save for stuff,you save acouple...	Debilyn	8	567	Mar 26, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Halt (Preview) I was sitting here thinking about halt. I'm not angry or lonely but I can and will do something about hungry and tired. I haven't eaten anything for about 24 hours now so I got up and made myself a small bowl of soup. I don't feel hungry but I know I will sick soon if I don't eat something.....so I'm taking...	Cathyinaz	14	368	Mar 26, 2014 by AngelicH57
	Is he an Alcoholic? What do you think? (Preview) This is my first time visiting Al-Anon of any type. I have been married to my husband for four years and the whole time my Mom and Dad have told me that they believe he is an alcoholic and that I should check out Al-Anon. I don't want to be in any type of denial and I want to know for sure if he is an alcoholic so...	hmk	6	468	Mar 26, 2014 by milkwood
	haha..IRONY..haha (Preview) I just HAD to share this! So my AH has been gone for maybe 2 or 3 days...kept saying he was coming home...We both know I am moving out (tomorrow)...I have about giving up hope and I have been crying all day....so I had myself a beer. Now, I totally can't handle alcohol, I relax but I really can't do much else!...	sadsusie	6	277	Mar 25, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Morning (Preview) Nisa ( my son's kitty ) was with me last night. She laid by my side for a while. She purred and loved my scratching her ears. She noticed my phone with the wind turbines turning in the screen background. She couldn't keep her eyes off it. Then she started to attack, hitting the screen and opening up pr...	Cathyinaz	12	454	Mar 25, 2014 by Rose50
	Forgiveness. (Preview) Hi all. I've been posting on here for a while and have been contemplating posting this. Myself and a few other young women who have been survivors of abuse/addiction and more were featured on MTV about forgiveness.	Forgiveness82	3	386	Mar 25, 2014 by dayatatime123
	I have to stay positive; Let go & let God! (Preview) Just saying that today it is very important that I stay positive. I am going through a stalemate right now. I hope that I have the courage to stay where I am. Only God knows what will happen next. Perseverance is the key I think. I am only able to do what I can do. So, w/ the program in tact I can see the light at t...	Hoot Nanny	1	282	Mar 25, 2014 by hotrod
	QTIP & WAIT (Preview) It's been a rough winter, and I'm really glad spring has sprung! Even with all the lovely cottonwood fluff floating around and the back yard looking like a jungle of nettle.... Still struggling with codependent and rejection issues, but feeling a little stronger. I've been writing WAIT on my hands f...	Raven Juniper	8	351	Mar 25, 2014 by Inrecovery
	Stupid stuff I am feeling. (Preview) Well, I'm still under the same roof as ABF. But not in the same way. After his drunken attack 5 weeks ago I was feeling pretty screwed up. I knew something had to change but as I have explained on here before, I sort of had a bit of a PTSD spaz and just kind of lay in bed shaking for a week. I'll never forget that;...	Melly1248	10	560	Mar 25, 2014 by Melly1248
	Feeling the feelings (Preview) Its a while since I have shared here, in many ways my life is good and I generally find a balance in my feelings and emotions, but for the past week I have felt very flat. Whilst its so easy to blame being busy at work or the day to day stresses of life I spent some hours earlier in quiet meditation and contempl...	flinn66	6	572	Mar 25, 2014 by flinn66
	New Member Introduction -- Request for 4th step Experiences/Activities new member courage to change step 4 (Preview) Hi there. I am a new member on the Al-Anon family message board. I started attending Al-Anon meetings last month and have recently decided that I am Al-Anon and I would like to continue with the 12 steps. As it is, there are limited meeting times available to me in my area, and I do not yet have a sponsor...	HervieB	5	2271	Mar 25, 2014 by Jerry F
	Very confused (Preview) So my husband is a self-proclaimed alcoholic (he knows he is and so do I) that doesn't think his alcoholism is a problem. He thinks that since he doesn't go out and get drunk, works and supports the family and is functional that he doesn't have a problem. His mom, grandma and dad are all alcoholics as we...	arlivipj	11	443	Mar 24, 2014 by Jerry F
	Is my husband an alcoholic? (Preview) Hi everyone, It's my first time here. I am married for 15 years - 3 kids - my husband used to smoke weed with his friends but has stopped about 8 years ago. He also used to drink socially and would sometimes drink to the point of throwing up but again that was not very often. In the past few years, I would noti...	Shif	10	561	Mar 24, 2014 by Jerry F
	Intimacy (Preview) How do you handle intimacy? I have no desire whatsoever to be intimate with AH. NONE! All my feelings, how he acts, what he says to me etc...has zapped any feelings of intimacy that I can possibly have. I have tried explaining to him why, but stopped he doesn't get it. Seeing him all drunk walking ar...	chadg	11	540	Mar 24, 2014 by Jerry F
	And The pendulum swings...... (Preview) I have been thinking about my actions last night or Reactions really. Selfish actions made out of frustration and bitterness. This was NOT what I was going for. I was soooo proud of myself (still am) for finally standing up for myself and living MY life. I guess that while I was basking in my own glory I f...	sadsusie	6	498	Mar 24, 2014 by Jerry F
	we can work it out! (Preview) We can work it out! And, that is not just a song title. I am trying so hard to work things out w/ my mom. Over the weekend she talked to my husband about how she always jumps when I need something. Maybe that is true but she does need to one-up me. I guess she thinks that one good turn deserves another. She still...	Hoot Nanny	1	255	Mar 24, 2014 by mm830
	Still trying to learn the new balance.... (Preview) John's Hula Hoop made me think. I am okay staying in my Hula Hoop until I have to advocate for my son. If he was teenager, I would just teach him the tools and trust he could deal with it. I really like "minding my own business" lol Where is the balance in this situation? I still struggle with...	Truth	23	603	Mar 24, 2014 by Truth
	I have to keep reminding myself...but why?? (Preview) I left my AH a month ago after what he calls a slip up. Over the past few years his slip ups have been worse. He has been in jail once and the hospital 3 times. It was too much for me to handle. The roller coaster of alcoholism was making me crazy. I was always anxious waiting for him to drink again. He has been dr...	Newlife girl	12	466	Mar 24, 2014 by Beatrice
	Just venting before I explode (Preview) I can't believe how clueless my AH is! He can't be trusted not to drink and drive with the kids so he promised to take our 6 year old skiing, which is 60 miles away. Couldnt understand why I'd go, he said he was sorry, he's in control, read the term verbal vomit and that is so appropriate. So spent day in car an...	Kerrymom	4	586	Mar 24, 2014 by Kerrymom
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.