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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> I am in withdrawal going from calm, serene sitting still, to psychotic ugh
Post Info TOPIC: I am in withdrawal going from calm, serene sitting still, to psychotic ugh
Debilyn


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I am in withdrawal going from calm, serene sitting still, to psychotic ugh
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Ok there are times in the life of a person who is the only human in the house has its moments.

No one to bring ya some water at night, help ya find your glasses, no one to say uh your deoderant is NOT working.

for me right now, no one said, make sure you use your last week money you save for stuff,you save acouple bucks for meds.

This in case your pet farm pig busts in and eats the last ones you have....

No money no meds.been over a week with no effexor. anti depressant for grief depression. To say I am insane is not the half of it. IF you want to know how bad it is, research effexor withdrawal, that is if you are not me and go to google and forget what I went there for...

I have forgotten what made me start this.

sorting thru the molasses that is my brain. OH I believe this is an HP thing. I hate being on med, any med as my bod is so weird it wakes up during surgery, dieretics almost klled me, nsaids bad bad bad.Narcotics? Morphine barely touchesme.

so I am thinking, the med was only $2.50 cents. I cannot drive like this.

I have been in active horrible withdrawal all this time, cold turkey. I kid  you not an alcholic and or a heroin user would be over the physical stuff by now. That being a raging, pulsating windstorm with elecrical flashes in my head, Nausious, dizzy, faint, NO engery, anorexic, ugh I do not recomment this drug to anyone cept demons....

so I called doc office to get him to put on his thinking cap and help me. HP spoke and said,"HEY I am over hereeeeeee."

I do not need my lovely funny smart a** cute doc. Cept to help me set up a schedule with the drug ready, to slowly detox. cold turkey does not work. did it for 6 months before and when I realized I could not get out of bed....went to doc went back on.

NOT this time.  I am asking for prayers thru this journey.seeeeee!!! I just realized my pink tiny plaid jammie bottoms are inside out! and the pillow case is in my lemonade...

I don't know if this kicking has spurred me into making some great choices, but it is making me face my fears.... of men. NOT sure what makes me afraid of them.I have known this very very cool guy for 3 years,yes we have met. I have wanted to know him. We have shared conversations where he is very openwith me. anyway I asked him if he would go for a walk with me in the woods by water or? And I would come to where he lives so I can see his farmhouse.

Saying this is my life, sent me to me in bed dying thinking, why the heck didn't I just DO IT? I will walk right into about anything, any situation as my kids do to. But put me on a path to be around a man, even as a friend, I feel like barfing. So what is bad about barfing???

It is all the horrible addict memories of the dear cool men in my life that are grabbing me and pulling me back to eden to be safe with my animal family, wearing pink jammie bottoms, a flannel shirt with my phyllis diller hair??? fat skinny pregnant, men have liked me,so why not believe they would like my company as an older wise a** woman?

Anway, I have mad some huge strides this year, not on my own power of course, but hps.

Am now 100% vegan. This means NO Meat products at all that alllll come from a place of torture, fear and murder. factory farming, inhumane dairy and chicken raisers,down tore out of live lovely geese, no leather shoes. being an assertive/gentle activist of sentient creatures...

Researching the influence of addiction on the family and loved ones, researching and learning things I did not know. Did you know if one, even with a predisposition to being an addict, doesn't drink alcohol before 21 they have a HUGE better chance of not waking up the dna to push one into full addiction. the number 21 has a reason.

Studying the Bible like crazy, coming to conclusions about ones sexul orientation, and how addiction plays so heavily in that.

Am walking more, willl have knee surgery the endof may or early june.huge step...

I do not want to accept that I am dead. done. meaning never being kissed or kissing or seeing a man I love next to me inbed and building something together.

I don't want to go another day with out realizing my physical need, ,meaning intimacy with another,not talking sex.

sooo I was on a serious path before I started w drawal.It is almost that this time of hurting I am facing world truths and my truths and am doing to DO something

ug my vegie steaks and vegan mushroom soup,,,,ugh oh my tummy....sigh.

anyhoooo I can be as happy as can be to a tearing up mess seeing someone on fb show a guy/cop giving a  wild rat some water on a hot NYC day...

If I laugh the tears come every time.Who knew they were so close together.

I am telling u if there was detox and rehab for effexor with drawal? I would have my red hankerchief with a good book, my Bible, pics of my animals, and my tortoise henry tied on one of my Mr. bamboos poles sitting on the steps waiting for the door to open to rehab. How come there are only rehabs for addicts???

we are actually having an electric storm here in Oregon, how fitting, it matches the sounds in my head,,,, though I jumped a foot when I got the mail and heard a clap of thunder, was it my head or the sky???? hugs all forgive me if my responses to you are off......

I AM!!!!I am working on it, and I will Be!!!! debilyn ps he is contacting me the end of the week. will he?

 

Gads just had to edit my own post....



-- Edited by Debilyn on Tuesday 25th of March 2014 04:58:30 PM



-- Edited by Debilyn on Tuesday 25th of March 2014 05:02:31 PM

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DavidG


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Take care, Debilyn... take a few deep breaths...

relax, if only for a moment. Nice to read your share... 



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neshema2


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DavidG wrote:

Take care, Debilyn... take a few deep breaths...

relax, if only for a moment. Nice to read your share... 

 (((((((((((((((((((((((((((Deb)))))))))))))))))))))))))  OMG.....I went through withdrawal once from my anti anxiety meds long ago and can relate to how you feel........can ya get samples off your doc??? to hold u over???  withdrawal is not something to fool with.......i am so so sorry...................i wonder if there is any herbal or holistic stuff u can do till you get meds replaced..........take care ok??  let us know how U R doing....really 



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Cathyinaz


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Don't even think of it as a relationship right now. Just enjoy the company. Time will tell if something will become of it or not. I would see him just for the company and companionship. If you keep your distance he is going thing your not really interested. Just ENJOY the talk.

Withdrawing from drugs are the worse. I had to one time and it hurt. I will never again take anything I can't handle without it. Sometimes we need something to take the edge off but not drugs that you can't be without. But I guess sometimes that is needed...oh well. I pray you will get help. Have you went to the website for the drug. Some manufactures of the medications give to people that can't afford it. Won't hurt to try and see if it's possible. Also prescription assistance websites might be looked at. You might qualify. My son did one time.

Take care my friend and eat your beans, asparagus and broccoli because you need your protein.

(((( hugs ))))


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tiredtonite


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ps he is contacting me the end of the week. will he?

Hp?  Already there.

Surrender it.  Luv ya.   (((debilyn))))  T

 



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John


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Hi Deb, I know someone else who had terrible withdrawals from Effexor and Celexa.  Even the sensation of electric shocks in the brain, or "zaps" any time she was without it for a few days.  Now, I am going to step out on the limb here and say, while she is off the anti depressants and is only taking what is needed for respiratory problems (inhalers), it is obvious she needs something for her mental and emotional well being.  Her highs and lows swing back and forth so much, that her general attitude can change radically in a heart beat.  She tends to turn small things into life changing events or crisis in her head, goes into a offensive self preservation mode, ie; attacks, ridicules, harshly judges, degrades and belittles... then when Karma (the boomerang) comes around she retreats into a world of isolation in a defensive self preservation mode for days at a time.    Now, I'm not much on the psycho babble stuff, but just making an observation.  It's as though the tree was cut from the trunk of addiction, the branches of self loathing broke as it hit the ground, the leaves of resistance scattered to the four winds... but the roots of bitterness are still firmly in place.  Facial expressions can display happiness, but the eyes do not reflect "joy", but contempt and insecurity.  Instead of having the ability to obtain and hold onto gratitude, it slides from her with great ease, and then nothing in her world is "enough".   And the attitude that comes forth is on the verge of creating a life changing event for her, which is a self fulfilled prophesy of sorts.  

My heart aches as I watch someone go through this stuff that stands between what they want for themselves and what they are capable of indulging in or contributing to.  When the opportunity arises, I will gently suggest that she seek professional help.  Otherwise, she is likely to have a life without depth or true, meaningful substance... with or without someone else being a part of it.

This is a time to practice one day at a time, one step at a time, one recovery behavior at a time, one change at a time... and be extremely patient with yourself.  And lean heavily on your HP.  

I will never forget my sponsor saying to me... 'stick around for a while and you will come to understand how sick you were...  stick around a bit longer and you'll come to understand how sick you are".

So, so true.. for me.

John



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Katy


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I had a terrible cold turkey withdrawal from celexa, Jeez I couldn't believe how terribly serious this drug was, and I wasn't on it for long, but long enough to suffer the consequences of my thinking I could just stop right there and then from taking it and be ok, so I had to go back on it again, and then ween myself off it gradually, I am not knocking these drugs though it was very much needed for a short period of time to shut my head down from the grief and depression I was facing at a very low period in my life, it's taught me to be respectful of these drugs and I am sorry your having to deal with this by yourself, lots of love Debs thinking of you Chick. xxx

love

Katy

 x



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Katy
bud


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(((Debilyn))) I also know some people who had a lot of difficulty trying to withdraw from Effexor and had to really slow the process of coming off of them over a period of 3-4 months. I know that can seem like an eternity when just wanting to be off of them! Some pharmacies will work contact the prescribing physician and provide some extra pills to help ease the withdrawing process. The pharmacist may be able to help you with the finances- as drug companies often sponsor financial assistance.

Enjoy what your friend has to offer and let him reveal who he is over a long period of time.

Sending big Alanon hugs and prayers.

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KennyFenderjazz


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Yes, I took Effexor a number of years ago. I remember having one of those when I went on them. I couldn't even describe it, it was so strange! It was like I did some sort of instant teleportation sideways by 1/2". Then if I would forget a couple of days, I would get the electric pulse thing. After I knew what was causing it, it wasn't so disturbing, but it made me very cautious when I decided to stop them. So I know what you are feeling, although mine wasn't so severe.

Sending you much sympathy and support! This too will pass!!

Kenny

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