Thats the very best I can do.  Aloha Family...Thursday morning in Hilo.  Woke up in conversation with my HP repeating "place me where you want me...tell me what to do" and then went to my business.  My office is a garden and the biggest part of my work is to have it look like the best part of the hotel.  I was doing it...I love doing it and while doing it this morning I notice a "flower" walking down the pathway coming my way.  She didn't reach me and paused and it was in the pause...the way she paused that I felt the familiarity of our disease.  She paused and then went to sit in a chair at an unoccupied hotel room just off the fish pools.  I noticed that maybe she was hapai...pregnant.  She was slight in build, shorthair, barefoot and bemused...there and not there.  She didn't even look local kinds sorta like she just walk out of a house on the continent and found her way into the gardens of Hilo Bay Hotel.  Somebodies daughter, sister, wife, friend ; certainly a child of God...stoned and I want to scream and cry at the same time.   POWERLESS!!  I didn't want to save her and I didn't want her sick.  I went back about my business...powerless and not over my work.  She lit up a "pakalolo"  marijuana smoke and I despise that smell and not this child of God; she dozed off...the flower trying to get some sleep and I continued to work every once in a while taking a glimpse her way.  She had a couple of psychotic shouts which led me to think, "Meth also"...she was tired, she had slauntered involuntarily she is a user.  No I didn't think about my alcoholic/addict wife and no also I didn't think of "fixing up" another.  My gut hurt for alcoholics and addicts and so I left the garden and went into the foyer to see if anyone noticed and had anyone thought of calling for help.  Yes some noticed and no one had called for help...I was given instruction on how to dial out and there I was "Place me where you want me...tell me what to do'.   I had a choice...police or medical.  I have no love for or of the Police and then usually they are who comes first.   No second guessing...next time I will call medical.  The child of God was walked...slauntered barefoot and hapai (maybe) off the property and the only  "haunting" memory is in my spirit.  I work with flowers all the time and they are all beautiful and this flower was more beautiful because she was child of God and I rage against our disease.  I'm left with prayers of my own and the mention that should this family find the opportunity send up as many as you can for the addicts and alcoholics who are slaves to our incurable disease.  I think praying is an answer to the request "tell us what to do".   Sad....maddening.    (((((hugs)))))