Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

bud · bud

When life becomes unmanageable there is no right and wrong, there is just falling apart or doing the best we can with the information that we have. Although I'm on a much better path as I continue to work Alanon, this morning the past caught up with me as I spent hours trying to straighten out yet another...

lookingup · lookingup

I left fo the day and abf ,I just got back abf stuff still sits outside on my deck.i do need all the strength i can get from y'all and everywhere that I don't end up back with him,I know he doesn't care about nothing right now but himself and alcohol and drugs He knows all my soft spots and will play them if he...

Button · Button

Hello all. Where to start? I used to attend al anon groups a long while ago in my early teens, when my mothers drinking was a serious issue that was affecting the whole family. My sister never attended with us but my dad and I went regularly. I found it really useful. So then, we moved away due to money and we...

lookingup · lookingup

Abf got up this morning and asked me what I was doing on the couch I said cause I didn't feel comfortable sleeping with you then I asked for my house key and he said he would give it to me as soon as he got his stuff packed and outside he had someone lined up to come get him ,I asked him a few ?s and he said that he wou...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

Hi - My wonderful step son and his baby mama are expecting. He is a frugal person, always looking for the best deal. The baby shower invites went out and baby mama thinks she is Kim Kardashean. She has around 15K over 85 items on her baby registry on babies r us. Really? Who needs a designer $800 baby crib? I...

andromeda · andromeda

Nearly all my fears are financial fears. Some are related to my son's issues and his anxiety and making sure we can afford the help he's getting if we were to split up. We currently have him with a private one on one school for math and it will cost me $1000 a month. My son is 2-3 years behind in math and rea...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm staying as busy as can be ,I went and visited my friend yesterday came home and abf had left and took my yorky with him without calling me to let me know,I was irate when I got home calling his ph.he wouldn't answer his ph.then he finally called me to ask me if I would come pick him and my yorky up that his va...

sunshine23 · sunshine23

Of all the things I did for myself, I think taking the plunge and moving (although very expensive) was the best thing I have done for myself in my situation. I did not have to wonder if he drank, where is he, is he going to make a scene in front of the kids, .... It was not all rosy. The fear I had of him being very...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

As the days pass I'm getting more and more insignificant at work. As they hire on the young and new employees that will be taking a lot of our places ( older employees about to retire ) I have become increasingly more worried. I go around needing to tell everyone my worth to the point of I'm being just s...

Hullibee · Hullibee

Made it through another crazy weekend with AH drinking non stop. I thought last Saturday/ Sunday was bad when he came home at 7:00 am with 12 year old grand daughter sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast. She said, "grandpas home". I almost died from fear and embarrassment. She then p...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

So my new boyfriend of 4 months is a carrier of HPV from his cheating ex-wife and now I have to have a procedure, because of this. I am a bit scared and pissed and well just going through the motions. I am not mad at the bf, because he didn't know or purposely pass this onto me. It seems you can't ever stop hav...

Luiza · Luiza

On Friday my daughter went to MIL's house for the weekend so I took her to MIL's workplace at the end of the day to hand her over at 5:30 pm. I knew there was a meeting at 7:30 close there so I waited in a nearby park until was time to go to the meeting. When I went to the place I could see people standing outside, o...

lookingup · lookingup

While abf is acting miserable for the 2days I'm haveing a time staying calm with my temper I wasnt calm yesterday with him and he said he would lave so I let him go he came back steady on his cell ph. Agin I finally asked him what who he was texting he said nobody he was trying to pull up porn. On his ph.he never h...

andromeda · andromeda

I don't particularly feel like laughing but my son made fun of my RAH last night and it was hard not to. 2 nights ago we made a frozen pizza in the oven and my RAH came home from the store and threw a hissy fit in the kitchen. He complained about how bad those pizzas smell every time we make them and then proce...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I have been reading and studying from several different books, all are endorsed by al-anon. The one I just recently finished and am going back and rereading certain parts is The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage. I'm also reading from Courage to Change and How Al-Anon Works for Families and Friends o...

Hereandnow · Hereandnow

I think he is drinking again. I know, its not my business. Well, except to protect my daughter from it. Tuesday he picked a fight with me over me not texting him "good morning I love you" (wah wah) and said something about wanting to drink. I dropped it. Its out of my control, I know that. That ev...

kitty · kitty

I was urged to share acronyms, al-anon slogans & other sayings... some old, some new ~ food for thought. ~ Easy Does It ~ Keep It Simple ~ How Important Is It? ~ First Things First ~ Live And Let Live ~ ~ One Day At A Time ~ Let Go And Let God ~ But For The Grace Of God, there go I ~ Think! Listen And Learn ~ ~ K...

ryanhearted · ryanhearted

I haven't been to a meeting for over 2 weeks, and I have been on vacation. My AH is not drinking, is attending meetings, although he didn't while we were gone either, so maybe I'm stressing a bit related to that as well. But my biggest stress is that I just don't want to go back to work. My co-worker/boss is l...

Myoung · Myoung

My husband, Her father, has been in rehab for 7 days. I have attended a few al anon meetings during that time. She really wants to go to alateen, the first available meeting is Monday night. There is an al anon meeting this morning that I want to attend, and she asked if she can go. Would that be appropriate...

lookingup · lookingup

But as for me agin I didn't care to look at his cell ph. Last nite he was so out asleep that I could've got I to all his stuff he would've never knew but I chose not too instead I did what was best for me ,wow first I heard myself even say me for a change but I eft and went over to a freinds house ,of course abf is alwa...

slowlearner · slowlearner

My AH is so deep into his drinking that he keeps getting sick. Made a doctor's appt for his this week because he had a chest cold - turned out to be bronchitis. I had called the doctor's nurse and explained my husband's addiction to her and to have the doctor talk to him about it or at least know his histor...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Yesterday A was drunk and belligerent and awful. My daughter missed most of it as she was out. He got to a stage where he was making no sense AT all, he would not leave me alone and I was afraid of and extremely angry with him. One minute he was saying awful things to me, the next trying to cuddle me and tell me...

lookingup · lookingup

Abf Heath is shot he can't hardly get around as good and he has been talking out of his head some says the pain is more than he can handle he wished the good lord would just take him on out .i thought it was the other woman but I was wrong it's all about his health going 51 y/o with years all his life of alcohol and...

Jerry F · Jerry F

on Hawaii....Iselle and Julio. First...I am remembering the words of the song, "I love how you love me" and I do and I am grateful to all who nudged and asked and gave wishes and prayers. Get this picture...I felt empowered to go outside to the storm and raise my open hand up to it and said fir...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

AH has made my decision of whether or not to stay very easy the last couple of weeks. I've also noticed more how much his personality is changed, he doesn't play with the kids the way he used to, he is not the man I married and it is really hard to accept that. In one discussion he was of course saying he needs...

Kelly123 · Kelly123

I was once married to an angry alcoholic who I later divorced. We were together 10 years. When I left I HAD IT. I was DONE. I was and still am extremely bitter and resentful about it. I should have ditched him on our third date. I didn't listen to that "little voice" and by the time I left that litt...

blessed · blessed

I am on overload, I don't even know which way is up. I met w/ my atty after I finally decided to leave. I had to wait a week as he was on vacation. My AH & I came up w/ a financial agreement and I took that in, but it was all wrong according to law. I put all our eggs in one basket and just split it. That, apparent...

lookingup · lookingup

Abf is driveing me for my ct scan today at 3 pm,he left for work this morning ,he was running late,his phone started ringing I didn't ? Him or go look at his ph Or even say a thing I stayed where I was guess I done good for a change even though I had to bite a bullit cause y'all know how bad I'm to checking on him an...

deramam · deramam

Usually I have our vehicle on Fridays so my AH doesn't get paid and go off on a binge with his paycheck and the truck. Tomorrow will be the first time he is using the truck on a payday and I am freaking out already thinking the worst is going to happen. I could easily take him to work or have him get a ride but the...

lookingup · lookingup

Abf has been really tired and working hard,he stayed quiet all the way back from the dr.then he zipped up into a buddy of his but buddy was gone we left and went to where he was working at to get his van another buddy of his we stayed for a little I visited with his buddy which I like him as a friend then my abf was...

Jerry F · Jerry F

program? We got one that missed to the South West and two more coming almost straight into Hilo. Iselle will be here soon with Julio right behind as a tropical storm. Both are winding down and still I woke up to the sun and now its gone...gonna get dark, very windy and very rainy soon. Day off today...

lookingup · lookingup

I've enjoyed reading eaverything y'all have posted and I believe every bit of it,I just trying to get through this part of him and her being together and when he don't answer his ph.when I call I get panicky I feel tears swelling up in my eyes and I start shallow breathing I do breathing exercises but they...

lookingup · lookingup

It's hard to pick up myself and go on with my life when he abf is here every morning and nite.i don't know where to start except meetings,reading and working steps,and visiting with friends.its hard to put him in the back of my mind when I'm with him a lot and he stays here.

Debilyn · Debilyn

How are you brother? Please check in and share all you can. I sure hope all are ok. Sounds terribly scarey! thinking of you! You are always welcome to get everyone on a raft and come to Oregon!!!

missmeliss · missmeliss

Look what I found at the dented can store today! Lol, a while ago someone mentioned these here on MIP and I asked what they were. I thought they sounded delicious so when I saw them today, I bought them and.... BLECH!!! They're horrible!!! So sickly sweet I couldn't even finish one!!! LOL!!! They must...

lookingup · lookingup

my abf drove me to the bone dr dr took X-rays my foot appears to be fractured and dislocated,dr wants me back in Friday for a ct scan of my foot,thank goodness it was my left foot not my right I can get around better now with this ace bandage and boot on the pain has even gone away.as for my abf well I dunno about...

deramam · deramam

Whenever my H drink and comes home drunk he cannot keep his hands off me (because I'm so dang beautiful, lol anyways...). I try to tell him no and I always tell him I will not have sex with him when he's drunk but if I don't I feel like if I keep that up he'll go somewhere else. (He doesn't drink every day, he is a...

lookingup · lookingup

I can't seem to help it it's like I've grown such a hatred toward my abf woman he has in his life it wouldn't be so bad if he would only allow me to look at his phone and that he won't let me look at it,for yrs he didn't care if I looked at it he would lay it around the house it didn't matter he told me the other day tha...

Mirandac · Mirandac

My dry ah family response to me is "change is hard, you need to move on" doesnt AH have any accountabilty for his actions And bad behaviors. He's cheating second time around,first was an emotional relationship with an active a. second is a recovering a. He was advising and helping both. Th...

Flower49 · Flower49

So I have a situation that came up. I have been feeling really sick since last Thursday. I did see my AH on Sunday and kept the visit really upbeat. I did show him a rash I had developed etc (turned out to be shingles). and then told him I was going to the Dr on Monday. I have a heart condition called SVT which ca...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi All this site has been a big part of my recovery in the past, I do not visit as much as I could today as my life is really busy. I am still very active in recovery. For people who may not know me I have been with my partner for 9 years we are engaged. I have been in recovery for 7 years and have done some work on s...

eighteen61 · eighteen61

For a variety of reasons, I'd like to find a french language alanon type of online forum. Je le parle et mon marie ne le parle pas et ensuite je peut parle de la contente de ma couer.

do any of you know of one? I have tried googling, but lets face it, with only about 130M speakers its not surprising ther...

lookingup · lookingup

I got my old phone back from my abf he got him a new phone said he worked it out with someone well I checked my recent call list saw where he had deleted his call list then I went to his all call list and there was her phone number 2x I dunno who called who but he said he ended it with her and blocked her that someone...

lookingup · lookingup

I've enjoyed doing this it was difficult felt awkward at first but as I started writing y list started to grow,I didn't realize that I had all that in me. Thanks for showing me how to do it.

oceanpine · oceanpine

The kids and I left yesterday. After my first post sat night, I lived through such nuttiness because a very long ago boyfriend left me a short voicemail. I told my AH 1000 times that I am not responsible for other peoples behavior but he wanted to make me so. He must have been drinking Sunday morning becau...

Hereandnow · Hereandnow

Short Background : My ABF has not had a drink (that I know of) in about 3 weeks. He didn't stop drinking until I left....I came back after a week. Anyway, before he quit drinking, I was looking at houses, my options. I found a house I could possibly buy. I'm young and don't make a whole lot of money but we have...

kiajoy · kiajoy

I have been with my soon to be ex-husband for 18 1/2 years, and for 17 of those years, I thought we were blissfully happy. However, about 1 1/2 years ago, I noticed he was drinking more and more and not able to moderate. Seven months ago, I received a phone call from a friend telling me that my husband was hi...

dubdub · dubdub

Is there an online meeting/ chat I can attend?. We live rural and I have a small toddler in tow 24-7. Going to face to face meetings is not an option for me. Married 4 years.. Hubby drinks a LOT. Shut out his entire family.. is verbally abusive.. Cookie cutter to a lot of what I have seen here reading through...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I used to think my husband was the person with the problem (sickness). He was the one who needed help. With the help of al-anon and my HP, I am just beginning to understand how sick I was and am. My addiction of trying to control my husband's drinking was as bad as his need to drink. I tried everything (pre...

sunrise2014 · sunrise2014

You know, for so long I thought I wanted to be that perfect person with the perfect cookie cutter life, I was raised to think that was how we all should be and anything otherwise was wrong and looked down upon. And because of that image I tortured myself and judged myself and my family for not fitting those...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

My AH and I always end up arguing certain points. I wish I didn't feel like i have to defend why I moved out over and over. he always says "You chose to move out when I was actively working a program." Well now, sounds good on his part right?? Here's what really happened. Last November he was in be...

NL14 · NL14

The theme of my F2F meeting this morning was powerlessness. It's a beginners' meeting, so it focuses on the first three steps. I didn't share there because my thoughts were so muddled, but I came away with a new understanding of powerlessness and what it has meant and felt like in my life. I've felt powe...

WWWCJ · WWWCJ

Well, he's downstairs playing a computer game. We got home 20 minutes ago from a two day trip, he disappeared and I thought he was helping to take care of the dogs so I unpacked everything, he didn't show up so I called to see if he was ok (you never know, he could have fallen downstairs and cracked his h...

Sallygcoe · Sallygcoe

Hi all, my AS has finally admitted that he is powerless over his addictions. I can only hope and pray he has found his bottom. He is downstairs this very minute. He says his body is craving alcohol. He asked if he could stay with us tonight so he would not have to be alone. He called a good friend of ours and hi...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I have heard a few people here say they don't have sponsors and can't find one yet. One member even said at a meeting she was told it was too soon to get a sponsor!! I've never heard that kind of response. Is it ever too soon?? So I was wondering if members on this website ever offer to sponsor people through...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I know the importance of f2f meetings. I know I desperately need these meetings. Last night there were only two people, me and one other lady at my al-anon meeting. I have to drive about 25 miles to this town b/c my little home town has no al-anon group. I'm afraid my group is dying. The next closest town is...

starlady1 · starlady1

One year ago to the day, my brother took my 19 year old daughter on a road trip but come to find out, he was high the entire time on meth and verbally and emotionally abused my daughter for 5 whole days. When the two of them arrived back home, my brother told me that my daughter was disobedient and went on this...

lookingup · lookingup

It was like a bomb fell when I actually saw what my sickness was when my abf came home with a new phone and I hadn't a clue of where he got it I only pictured in my mind the worst scenario,but I was wrong but it sent my mind and body into a state of shock ,then in new it I have to back away for my own sanity,i make mys...

lookingup · lookingup

How and what is a gratitude and assets lost and is this something I need to be doing daily as part of my recovery,I need help with this and getting into my recovery,an outline or something for me yo go by everyday will help me to stay on course with my recovery cause I get confused and font know what where or h...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

So my girls went up north by their dad for 9 days and in that time he drank twice. Hmmm! The second night they were there he sent my 6 year old to his parents house (Mr king and queen enablers!) so he could go out and drink. My 16 year old was terribly uncomfortable then the next Friday night my 16 year old was he...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	when life becomes unmanageable (Preview) When life becomes unmanageable there is no right and wrong, there is just falling apart or doing the best we can with the information that we have. Although I'm on a much better path as I continue to work Alanon, this morning the past caught up with me as I spent hours trying to straighten out yet another...	bud	11	776	Aug 11, 2014 by bud
	His stuff still sits outside. (Preview) I left fo the day and abf ,I just got back abf stuff still sits outside on my deck.i do need all the strength i can get from y'all and everywhere that I don't end up back with him,I know he doesn't care about nothing right now but himself and alcohol and drugs He knows all my soft spots and will play them if he...	lookingup	4	339	Aug 11, 2014 by PP
	First Post - Last Hope (Preview) Hello all. Where to start? I used to attend al anon groups a long while ago in my early teens, when my mothers drinking was a serious issue that was affecting the whole family. My sister never attended with us but my dad and I went regularly. I found it really useful. So then, we moved away due to money and we...	Button	4	542	Aug 11, 2014 by Debilyn
	Abf moved out (Preview) Abf got up this morning and asked me what I was doing on the couch I said cause I didn't feel comfortable sleeping with you then I asked for my house key and he said he would give it to me as soon as he got his stuff packed and outside he had someone lined up to come get him ,I asked him a few ?s and he said that he wou...	lookingup	8	531	Aug 11, 2014 by PP
	Really Struggling this morning, any ES&H would be much appreciated. (Preview) Hi - My wonderful step son and his baby mama are expecting. He is a frugal person, always looking for the best deal. The baby shower invites went out and baby mama thinks she is Kim Kardashean. She has around 15K over 85 items on her baby registry on babies r us. Really? Who needs a designer $800 baby crib? I...	mercedes1959	7	474	Aug 11, 2014 by mercedes1959
	I am so done, but I have so much fear (Preview) Nearly all my fears are financial fears. Some are related to my son's issues and his anxiety and making sure we can afford the help he's getting if we were to split up. We currently have him with a private one on one school for math and it will cost me $1000 a month. My son is 2-3 years behind in math and rea...	andromeda	26	935	Aug 11, 2014 by NL14
	Staying busy (Preview) I'm staying as busy as can be ,I went and visited my friend yesterday came home and abf had left and took my yorky with him without calling me to let me know,I was irate when I got home calling his ph.he wouldn't answer his ph.then he finally called me to ask me if I would come pick him and my yorky up that his va...	lookingup	4	392	Aug 11, 2014 by mercedes1959
	Doing something for myself (Preview) Of all the things I did for myself, I think taking the plunge and moving (although very expensive) was the best thing I have done for myself in my situation. I did not have to wonder if he drank, where is he, is he going to make a scene in front of the kids, .... It was not all rosy. The fear I had of him being very...	sunshine23	5	466	Aug 11, 2014 by el-cee
	Happy Friday Morning MIP (Preview) As the days pass I'm getting more and more insignificant at work. As they hire on the young and new employees that will be taking a lot of our places ( older employees about to retire ) I have become increasingly more worried. I go around needing to tell everyone my worth to the point of I'm being just s...	Cathyinaz	25	644	Aug 11, 2014 by pinkchip
	Trying to keep sane (Preview) Made it through another crazy weekend with AH drinking non stop. I thought last Saturday/ Sunday was bad when he came home at 7:00 am with 12 year old grand daughter sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast. She said, "grandpas home". I almost died from fear and embarrassment. She then p...	Hullibee	3	329	Aug 10, 2014 by cloudyskies
	Dysfunctional ripples never stop do they...... (Preview) So my new boyfriend of 4 months is a carrier of HPV from his cheating ex-wife and now I have to have a procedure, because of this. I am a bit scared and pissed and well just going through the motions. I am not mad at the bf, because he didn't know or purposely pass this onto me. It seems you can't ever stop hav...	Breakingfree	15	781	Aug 10, 2014 by Jerry F
	Going backwards. I still have so much to learn. (Preview) On Friday my daughter went to MIL's house for the weekend so I took her to MIL's workplace at the end of the day to hand her over at 5:30 pm. I knew there was a meeting at 7:30 close there so I waited in a nearby park until was time to go to the meeting. When I went to the place I could see people standing outside, o...	Luiza	8	501	Aug 10, 2014 by Mattie
	Trying to stay calm (Preview) While abf is acting miserable for the 2days I'm haveing a time staying calm with my temper I wasnt calm yesterday with him and he said he would lave so I let him go he came back steady on his cell ph. Agin I finally asked him what who he was texting he said nobody he was trying to pull up porn. On his ph.he never h...	lookingup	3	406	Aug 10, 2014 by Debilyn
	Should I laugh? (Preview) I don't particularly feel like laughing but my son made fun of my RAH last night and it was hard not to. 2 nights ago we made a frozen pizza in the oven and my RAH came home from the store and threw a hissy fit in the kitchen. He complained about how bad those pizzas smell every time we make them and then proce...	andromeda	24	1758	Aug 10, 2014 by blessed
	A good book (Preview) I have been reading and studying from several different books, all are endorsed by al-anon. The one I just recently finished and am going back and rereading certain parts is The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage. I'm also reading from Courage to Change and How Al-Anon Works for Families and Friends o...	cloudyskies	8	456	Aug 10, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Trying to keep to myself (Preview) I think he is drinking again. I know, its not my business. Well, except to protect my daughter from it. Tuesday he picked a fight with me over me not texting him "good morning I love you" (wah wah) and said something about wanting to drink. I dropped it. Its out of my control, I know that. That ev...	Hereandnow	7	535	Aug 10, 2014 by blessed
	SLOGANS & other quotes/acronyms (Preview) I was urged to share acronyms, al-anon slogans & other sayings... some old, some new ~ food for thought. ~ Easy Does It ~ Keep It Simple ~ How Important Is It? ~ First Things First ~ Live And Let Live ~ ~ One Day At A Time ~ Let Go And Let God ~ But For The Grace Of God, there go I ~ Think! Listen And Learn ~ ~ K...	kitty	8	106347	Aug 10, 2014 by ryanhearted
	Stressed-need support (Preview) I haven't been to a meeting for over 2 weeks, and I have been on vacation. My AH is not drinking, is attending meetings, although he didn't while we were gone either, so maybe I'm stressing a bit related to that as well. But my biggest stress is that I just don't want to go back to work. My co-worker/boss is l...	ryanhearted	4	418	Aug 10, 2014 by ryanhearted
	Question for my 11 year old daughter (Preview) My husband, Her father, has been in rehab for 7 days. I have attended a few al anon meetings during that time. She really wants to go to alateen, the first available meeting is Monday night. There is an al anon meeting this morning that I want to attend, and she asked if she can go. Would that be appropriate...	Myoung	1	315	Aug 10, 2014 by hotrod
	Abf just left to go to work he said he still didn't feel good (Preview) But as for me agin I didn't care to look at his cell ph. Last nite he was so out asleep that I could've got I to all his stuff he would've never knew but I chose not too instead I did what was best for me ,wow first I heard myself even say me for a change but I eft and went over to a freinds house ,of course abf is alwa...	lookingup	7	436	Aug 10, 2014 by milkwood
	My husband is lying to me about his health (Preview) My AH is so deep into his drinking that he keeps getting sick. Made a doctor's appt for his this week because he had a chest cold - turned out to be bronchitis. I had called the doctor's nurse and explained my husband's addiction to her and to have the doctor talk to him about it or at least know his histor...	slowlearner	15	561	Aug 10, 2014 by milkwood
	Blah blah (Preview) Yesterday A was drunk and belligerent and awful. My daughter missed most of it as she was out. He got to a stage where he was making no sense AT all, he would not leave me alone and I was afraid of and extremely angry with him. One minute he was saying awful things to me, the next trying to cuddle me and tell me...	missmeliss	14	2096	Aug 9, 2014 by Kelly123
	Abf is health is going (Preview) Abf Heath is shot he can't hardly get around as good and he has been talking out of his head some says the pain is more than he can handle he wished the good lord would just take him on out .i thought it was the other woman but I was wrong it's all about his health going 51 y/o with years all his life of alcohol and...	lookingup	9	525	Aug 9, 2014 by PP
	UPDATE (Preview) on Hawaii....Iselle and Julio. First...I am remembering the words of the song, "I love how you love me" and I do and I am grateful to all who nudged and asked and gave wishes and prayers. Get this picture...I felt empowered to go outside to the storm and raise my open hand up to it and said fir...	Jerry F	13	463	Aug 9, 2014 by Breakingfree
	It's becoming clear (Preview) AH has made my decision of whether or not to stay very easy the last couple of weeks. I've also noticed more how much his personality is changed, he doesn't play with the kids the way he used to, he is not the man I married and it is really hard to accept that. In one discussion he was of course saying he needs...	Kerrymom	6	301	Aug 9, 2014 by andromeda
	Alcoholism the second time around... (Preview) I was once married to an angry alcoholic who I later divorced. We were together 10 years. When I left I HAD IT. I was DONE. I was and still am extremely bitter and resentful about it. I should have ditched him on our third date. I didn't listen to that "little voice" and by the time I left that litt...	Kelly123	19	757	Aug 8, 2014 by Kelly123
	Which Way Is Up? (Preview) I am on overload, I don't even know which way is up. I met w/ my atty after I finally decided to leave. I had to wait a week as he was on vacation. My AH & I came up w/ a financial agreement and I took that in, but it was all wrong according to law. I put all our eggs in one basket and just split it. That, apparent...	blessed	12	453	Aug 8, 2014 by Kerrymom
	Going for ct scan of my foot today (Preview) Abf is driveing me for my ct scan today at 3 pm,he left for work this morning ,he was running late,his phone started ringing I didn't ? Him or go look at his ph Or even say a thing I stayed where I was guess I done good for a change even though I had to bite a bullit cause y'all know how bad I'm to checking on him an...	lookingup	6	3293	Aug 8, 2014 by PP
	Anxiety about AH & $ (Preview) Usually I have our vehicle on Fridays so my AH doesn't get paid and go off on a binge with his paycheck and the truck. Tomorrow will be the first time he is using the truck on a payday and I am freaking out already thinking the worst is going to happen. I could easily take him to work or have him get a ride but the...	deramam	10	886	Aug 8, 2014 by blessed
	Waiting on ct scan,not a good day with abf (Preview) Abf has been really tired and working hard,he stayed quiet all the way back from the dr.then he zipped up into a buddy of his but buddy was gone we left and went to where he was working at to get his van another buddy of his we stayed for a little I visited with his buddy which I like him as a friend then my abf was...	lookingup	1	349	Aug 8, 2014 by blessed
	Where is my Hurricane (Preview) program? We got one that missed to the South West and two more coming almost straight into Hilo. Iselle will be here soon with Julio right behind as a tropical storm. Both are winding down and still I woke up to the sun and now its gone...gonna get dark, very windy and very rainy soon. Day off today...	Jerry F	26	719	Aug 8, 2014 by Jerry F
	I feel panicky (Preview) I've enjoyed reading eaverything y'all have posted and I believe every bit of it,I just trying to get through this part of him and her being together and when he don't answer his ph.when I call I get panicky I feel tears swelling up in my eyes and I start shallow breathing I do breathing exercises but they...	lookingup	7	516	Aug 8, 2014 by milkwood
	This is hard (Preview) It's hard to pick up myself and go on with my life when he abf is here every morning and nite.i don't know where to start except meetings,reading and working steps,and visiting with friends.its hard to put him in the back of my mind when I'm with him a lot and he stays here.	lookingup	6	409	Aug 8, 2014 by Mattie
	Jerry and earth moving!! (Preview) How are you brother? Please check in and share all you can. I sure hope all are ok. Sounds terribly scarey! thinking of you! You are always welcome to get everyone on a raft and come to Oregon!!!	Debilyn	21	689	Aug 8, 2014 by grateful2be
	Look what I found. ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Look what I found at the dented can store today! Lol, a while ago someone mentioned these here on MIP and I asked what they were. I thought they sounded delicious so when I saw them today, I bought them and.... BLECH!!! They're horrible!!! So sickly sweet I couldn't even finish one!!! LOL!!! They must...	missmeliss	56	1358	Aug 7, 2014 by grateful2be
	Update (Preview) my abf drove me to the bone dr dr took X-rays my foot appears to be fractured and dislocated,dr wants me back in Friday for a ct scan of my foot,thank goodness it was my left foot not my right I can get around better now with this ace bandage and boot on the pain has even gone away.as for my abf well I dunno about...	lookingup	6	495	Aug 7, 2014 by tiredtonite
	Sex with AH (Preview) Whenever my H drink and comes home drunk he cannot keep his hands off me (because I'm so dang beautiful, lol anyways...). I try to tell him no and I always tell him I will not have sex with him when he's drunk but if I don't I feel like if I keep that up he'll go somewhere else. (He doesn't drink every day, he is a...	deramam	19	1057	Aug 7, 2014 by deramam
	Still obsessing (Preview) I can't seem to help it it's like I've grown such a hatred toward my abf woman he has in his life it wouldn't be so bad if he would only allow me to look at his phone and that he won't let me look at it,for yrs he didn't care if I looked at it he would lay it around the house it didn't matter he told me the other day tha...	lookingup	9	659	Aug 7, 2014 by lookingup
	Family accountability (Preview) My dry ah family response to me is "change is hard, you need to move on" doesnt AH have any accountabilty for his actions And bad behaviors. He's cheating second time around,first was an emotional relationship with an active a. second is a recovering a. He was advising and helping both. Th...	Mirandac	12	673	Aug 7, 2014 by Nightwind
	What to do (Preview) So I have a situation that came up. I have been feeling really sick since last Thursday. I did see my AH on Sunday and kept the visit really upbeat. I did show him a rash I had developed etc (turned out to be shingles). and then told him I was going to the Dr on Monday. I have a heart condition called SVT which ca...	Flower49	6	336	Aug 7, 2014 by Nightwind
	test (Preview) Hi All this site has been a big part of my recovery in the past, I do not visit as much as I could today as my life is really busy. I am still very active in recovery. For people who may not know me I have been with my partner for 9 years we are engaged. I have been in recovery for 7 years and have done some work on s...	Tracy	6	685	Aug 7, 2014 by PP
	French Alanon? (Preview) For a variety of reasons, I'd like to find a french language alanon type of online forum. Je le parle et mon marie ne le parle pas et ensuite je peut parle de la contente de ma couer. do any of you know of one? I have tried googling, but lets face it, with only about 130M speakers its not surprising ther...	eighteen61	4	322	Aug 7, 2014 by eighteen61
	Don't know what to do He has been straight not drinking or anything for last few mths.he said he was off of everything I can't help but wonder if that's for her is reason he has quit everything her husband took her back after finding out.yes she i this I found out (Preview) I got my old phone back from my abf he got him a new phone said he worked it out with someone well I checked my recent call list saw where he had deleted his call list then I went to his all call list and there was her phone number 2x I dunno who called who but he said he ended it with her and blocked her that someone...	lookingup	8	707	Aug 6, 2014 by 7th_wave
	Working on me a gratitude and asset list (Preview) I've enjoyed doing this it was difficult felt awkward at first but as I started writing y list started to grow,I didn't realize that I had all that in me. Thanks for showing me how to do it.	lookingup	2	258	Aug 6, 2014 by hotrod
	Flew the coop (Preview) The kids and I left yesterday. After my first post sat night, I lived through such nuttiness because a very long ago boyfriend left me a short voicemail. I told my AH 1000 times that I am not responsible for other peoples behavior but he wanted to make me so. He must have been drinking Sunday morning becau...	oceanpine	7	495	Aug 6, 2014 by abbyalana
	I'm ready for the next step, but I don't know what that is. (Preview) Short Background : My ABF has not had a drink (that I know of) in about 3 weeks. He didn't stop drinking until I left....I came back after a week. Anyway, before he quit drinking, I was looking at houses, my options. I found a house I could possibly buy. I'm young and don't make a whole lot of money but we have...	Hereandnow	14	720	Aug 6, 2014 by Kelly123
	Detachment? (Preview) I have been with my soon to be ex-husband for 18 1/2 years, and for 17 of those years, I thought we were blissfully happy. However, about 1 1/2 years ago, I noticed he was drinking more and more and not able to moderate. Seven months ago, I received a phone call from a friend telling me that my husband was hi...	kiajoy	7	853	Aug 6, 2014 by Kelly123
	Family support meetings - online? (Preview) Is there an online meeting/ chat I can attend?. We live rural and I have a small toddler in tow 24-7. Going to face to face meetings is not an option for me. Married 4 years.. Hubby drinks a LOT. Shut out his entire family.. is verbally abusive.. Cookie cutter to a lot of what I have seen here reading through...	dubdub	9	465	Aug 6, 2014 by hotrod
	My Addiction--My Sickness (Preview) I used to think my husband was the person with the problem (sickness). He was the one who needed help. With the help of al-anon and my HP, I am just beginning to understand how sick I was and am. My addiction of trying to control my husband's drinking was as bad as his need to drink. I tried everything (pre...	cloudyskies	12	580	Aug 6, 2014 by Nightwind
	It's clear now (Preview) You know, for so long I thought I wanted to be that perfect person with the perfect cookie cutter life, I was raised to think that was how we all should be and anything otherwise was wrong and looked down upon. And because of that image I tortured myself and judged myself and my family for not fitting those...	sunrise2014	7	492	Aug 6, 2014 by sunrise2014
	He says one statement that I always argue with...defending myself about why I left (Preview) My AH and I always end up arguing certain points. I wish I didn't feel like i have to defend why I moved out over and over. he always says "You chose to move out when I was actively working a program." Well now, sounds good on his part right?? Here's what really happened. Last November he was in be...	Newlife girl	15	812	Aug 6, 2014 by cloudyskies
	Powerlessness and denial (Preview) The theme of my F2F meeting this morning was powerlessness. It's a beginners' meeting, so it focuses on the first three steps. I didn't share there because my thoughts were so muddled, but I came away with a new understanding of powerlessness and what it has meant and felt like in my life. I've felt powe...	NL14	8	1045	Aug 6, 2014 by NL14
	Feeling like a martyr (Preview) Well, he's downstairs playing a computer game. We got home 20 minutes ago from a two day trip, he disappeared and I thought he was helping to take care of the dogs so I unpacked everything, he didn't show up so I called to see if he was ok (you never know, he could have fallen downstairs and cracked his h...	WWWCJ	8	643	Aug 6, 2014 by WWWCJ
	MY AS has admitted he is powerless over his addictions... Need advise (Preview) Hi all, my AS has finally admitted that he is powerless over his addictions. I can only hope and pray he has found his bottom. He is downstairs this very minute. He says his body is craving alcohol. He asked if he could stay with us tonight so he would not have to be alone. He called a good friend of ours and hi...	Sallygcoe	7	460	Aug 5, 2014 by grateful2be
	Do we have online sponsors here?? (Preview) I have heard a few people here say they don't have sponsors and can't find one yet. One member even said at a meeting she was told it was too soon to get a sponsor!! I've never heard that kind of response. Is it ever too soon?? So I was wondering if members on this website ever offer to sponsor people through...	Newlife girl	10	737	Aug 5, 2014 by grateful2be
	I'm very concerned (Preview) I know the importance of f2f meetings. I know I desperately need these meetings. Last night there were only two people, me and one other lady at my al-anon meeting. I have to drive about 25 miles to this town b/c my little home town has no al-anon group. I'm afraid my group is dying. The next closest town is...	cloudyskies	7	513	Aug 5, 2014 by starlady1
	brother and mom leave me a drunk message. what to do?! (Preview) One year ago to the day, my brother took my 19 year old daughter on a road trip but come to find out, he was high the entire time on meth and verbally and emotionally abused my daughter for 5 whole days. When the two of them arrived back home, my brother told me that my daughter was disobedient and went on this...	starlady1	10	534	Aug 5, 2014 by starlady1
	I can see my sickness (Preview) It was like a bomb fell when I actually saw what my sickness was when my abf came home with a new phone and I hadn't a clue of where he got it I only pictured in my mind the worst scenario,but I was wrong but it sent my mind and body into a state of shock ,then in new it I have to back away for my own sanity,i make mys...	lookingup	3	327	Aug 5, 2014 by hotrod
	Gratitude and assets list? (Preview) How and what is a gratitude and assets lost and is this something I need to be doing daily as part of my recovery,I need help with this and getting into my recovery,an outline or something for me yo go by everyday will help me to stay on course with my recovery cause I get confused and font know what where or h...	lookingup	4	2919	Aug 5, 2014 by hotrod
	My exAH lost the privelege of my kids staying the night by him! (Preview) So my girls went up north by their dad for 9 days and in that time he drank twice. Hmmm! The second night they were there he sent my 6 year old to his parents house (Mr king and queen enablers!) so he could go out and drink. My 16 year old was terribly uncomfortable then the next Friday night my 16 year old was he...	Breakingfree	6	494	Aug 5, 2014 by Breakingfree
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