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My husband is lying to me about his health
(Preview)
My AH is so deep into his drinking that he keeps getting sick. Made a doctor's appt for his this week because he had a chest cold - turned out to be bronchitis. I had called the doctor's nurse and explained my husband's addiction to her and to have the doctor talk to him about it or at least know his histor...
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slowlearner
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15
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499
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Blah blah
(Preview)
Yesterday A was drunk and belligerent and awful. My daughter missed most of it as she was out. He got to a stage where he was making no sense AT all, he would not leave me alone and I was afraid of and extremely angry with him. One minute he was saying awful things to me, the next trying to cuddle me and tell me...
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missmeliss
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14
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1779
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Abf is health is going
(Preview)
Abf Heath is shot he can't hardly get around as good and he has been talking out of his head some says the pain is more than he can handle he wished the good lord would just take him on out .i thought it was the other woman but I was wrong it's all about his health going 51 y/o with years all his life of alcohol and...
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lookingup
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9
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459
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UPDATE
(Preview)
on Hawaii....Iselle and Julio. First...I am remembering the words of the song, "I love how you love me" and I do and I am grateful to all who nudged and asked and gave wishes and prayers. Get this picture...I felt empowered to go outside to the storm and raise my open hand up to it and said fir...
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Jerry F
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13
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400
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It's becoming clear
(Preview)
AH has made my decision of whether or not to stay very easy the last couple of weeks. I've also noticed more how much his personality is changed, he doesn't play with the kids the way he used to, he is not the man I married and it is really hard to accept that. In one discussion he was of course saying he needs...
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Kerrymom
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6
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242
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Alcoholism the second time around...
(Preview)
I was once married to an angry alcoholic who I later divorced. We were together 10 years. When I left I HAD IT. I was DONE. I was and still am extremely bitter and resentful about it. I should have ditched him on our third date. I didn't listen to that "little voice" and by the time I left that litt...
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Kelly123
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19
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696
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Which Way Is Up?
(Preview)
I am on overload, I don't even know which way is up. I met w/ my atty after I finally decided to leave. I had to wait a week as he was on vacation. My AH & I came up w/ a financial agreement and I took that in, but it was all wrong according to law. I put all our eggs in one basket and just split it. That, apparent...
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blessed
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12
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384
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Going for ct scan of my foot today
(Preview)
Abf is driveing me for my ct scan today at 3 pm,he left for work this morning ,he was running late,his phone started ringing I didn't ? Him or go look at his ph Or even say a thing I stayed where I was guess I done good for a change even though I had to bite a bullit cause y'all know how bad I'm to checking on him an...
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lookingup
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6
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2943
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Anxiety about AH & $
(Preview)
Usually I have our vehicle on Fridays so my AH doesn't get paid and go off on a binge with his paycheck and the truck. Tomorrow will be the first time he is using the truck on a payday and I am freaking out already thinking the worst is going to happen. I could easily take him to work or have him get a ride but the...
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deramam
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10
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785
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Waiting on ct scan,not a good day with abf
(Preview)
Abf has been really tired and working hard,he stayed quiet all the way back from the dr.then he zipped up into a buddy of his but buddy was gone we left and went to where he was working at to get his van another buddy of his we stayed for a little I visited with his buddy which I like him as a friend then my abf was...
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lookingup
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1
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277
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Where is my Hurricane
(Preview)
program? We got one that missed to the South West and two more coming almost straight into Hilo. Iselle will be here soon with Julio right behind as a tropical storm. Both are winding down and still I woke up to the sun and now its gone...gonna get dark, very windy and very rainy soon. Day off today...
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Jerry F
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26
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660
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I feel panicky
(Preview)
I've enjoyed reading eaverything y'all have posted and I believe every bit of it,I just trying to get through this part of him and her being together and when he don't answer his ph.when I call I get panicky I feel tears swelling up in my eyes and I start shallow breathing I do breathing exercises but they...
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lookingup
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7
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451
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This is hard
(Preview)
It's hard to pick up myself and go on with my life when he abf is here every morning and nite.i don't know where to start except meetings,reading and working steps,and visiting with friends.its hard to put him in the back of my mind when I'm with him a lot and he stays here.
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lookingup
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6
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343
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Jerry and earth moving!!
(Preview)
How are you brother? Please check in and share all you can. I sure hope all are ok. Sounds terribly scarey! thinking of you! You are always welcome to get everyone on a raft and come to Oregon!!!
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Debilyn
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21
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617
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Look what I found.
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
Look what I found at the dented can store today! Lol, a while ago someone mentioned these here on MIP and I asked what they were. I thought they sounded delicious so when I saw them today, I bought them and.... BLECH!!! They're horrible!!! So sickly sweet I couldn't even finish one!!! LOL!!! They must...
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missmeliss
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56
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1256
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Update
(Preview)
my abf drove me to the bone dr dr took X-rays my foot appears to be fractured and dislocated,dr wants me back in Friday for a ct scan of my foot,thank goodness it was my left foot not my right I can get around better now with this ace bandage and boot on the pain has even gone away.as for my abf well I dunno about...
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lookingup
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6
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429
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Sex with AH
(Preview)
Whenever my H drink and comes home drunk he cannot keep his hands off me (because I'm so dang beautiful, lol anyways...). I try to tell him no and I always tell him I will not have sex with him when he's drunk but if I don't I feel like if I keep that up he'll go somewhere else. (He doesn't drink every day, he is a...
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deramam
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19
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982
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Still obsessing
(Preview)
I can't seem to help it it's like I've grown such a hatred toward my abf woman he has in his life it wouldn't be so bad if he would only allow me to look at his phone and that he won't let me look at it,for yrs he didn't care if I looked at it he would lay it around the house it didn't matter he told me the other day tha...
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lookingup
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9
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589
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Family accountability
(Preview)
My dry ah family response to me is "change is hard, you need to move on" doesnt AH have any accountabilty for his actions And bad behaviors. He's cheating second time around,first was an emotional relationship with an active a. second is a recovering a. He was advising and helping both. Th...
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Mirandac
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12
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607
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What to do
(Preview)
So I have a situation that came up. I have been feeling really sick since last Thursday. I did see my AH on Sunday and kept the visit really upbeat. I did show him a rash I had developed etc (turned out to be shingles). and then told him I was going to the Dr on Monday. I have a heart condition called SVT which ca...
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Flower49
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6
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274
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test
(Preview)
Hi All this site has been a big part of my recovery in the past, I do not visit as much as I could today as my life is really busy. I am still very active in recovery. For people who may not know me I have been with my partner for 9 years we are engaged. I have been in recovery for 7 years and have done some work on s...
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Tracy
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6
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621
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French Alanon?
(Preview)
For a variety of reasons, I'd like to find a french language alanon type of online forum. Je le parle et mon marie ne le parle pas et ensuite je peut parle de la contente de ma couer.  do any of you know of one? I have tried googling, but lets face it, with only about 130M speakers its not surprising ther...
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eighteen61
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4
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264
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Don't know what to do
(Preview)
I got my old phone back from my abf he got him a new phone said he worked it out with someone well I checked my recent call list saw where he had deleted his call list then I went to his all call list and there was her phone number 2x I dunno who called who but he said he ended it with her and blocked her that someone...
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lookingup
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8
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637
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Working on me a gratitude and asset list
(Preview)
I've enjoyed doing this it was difficult felt awkward at first but as I started writing y list started to grow,I didn't realize that I had all that in me. Thanks for showing me how to do it.
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lookingup
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2
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196
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Flew the coop
(Preview)
The kids and I left yesterday. After my first post sat night, I lived through such nuttiness because a very long ago boyfriend left me a short voicemail. I told my AH 1000 times that I am not responsible for other peoples behavior but he wanted to make me so. He must have been drinking Sunday morning becau...
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oceanpine
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7
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422
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I'm ready for the next step, but I don't know what that is.
(Preview)
Short Background : My ABF has not had a drink (that I know of) in about 3 weeks. He didn't stop drinking until I left....I came back after a week. Anyway, before he quit drinking, I was looking at houses, my options. I found a house I could possibly buy. I'm young and don't make a whole lot of money but we have...
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Hereandnow
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14
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649
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Detachment?
(Preview)
I have been with my soon to be ex-husband for 18 1/2 years, and for 17 of those years, I thought we were blissfully happy. However, about 1 1/2 years ago, I noticed he was drinking more and more and not able to moderate. Seven months ago, I received a phone call from a friend telling me that my husband was hi...
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kiajoy
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7
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788
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Family support meetings - online?
(Preview)
Is there an online meeting/ chat I can attend?. We live rural and I have a small toddler in tow 24-7. Going to face to face meetings is not an option for me. Married 4 years.. Hubby drinks a LOT. Shut out his entire family.. is verbally abusive.. Cookie cutter to a lot of what I have seen here reading through...
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dubdub
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9
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395
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My Addiction--My Sickness
(Preview)
I used to think my husband was the person with the problem (sickness). He was the one who needed help. With the help of al-anon and my HP, I am just beginning to understand how sick I was and am. My addiction of trying to control my husband's drinking was as bad as his need to drink. I tried everything (pre...
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cloudyskies
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12
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516
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It's clear now
(Preview)
You know, for so long I thought I wanted to be that perfect person with the perfect cookie cutter life, I was raised to think that was how we all should be and anything otherwise was wrong and looked down upon. And because of that image I tortured myself and judged myself and my family for not fitting those...
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sunrise2014
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7
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427
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He says one statement that I always argue with...defending myself about why I left
(Preview)
My AH and I always end up arguing certain points. I wish I didn't feel like i have to defend why I moved out over and over. he always says "You chose to move out when I was actively working a program." Well now, sounds good on his part right?? Here's what really happened. Last November he was in be...
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Newlife girl
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15
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731
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Powerlessness and denial
(Preview)
The theme of my F2F meeting this morning was powerlessness. It's a beginners' meeting, so it focuses on the first three steps. I didn't share there because my thoughts were so muddled, but I came away with a new understanding of powerlessness and what it has meant and felt like in my life. I've felt powe...
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NL14
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8
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965
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Feeling like a martyr
(Preview)
Well, he's downstairs playing a computer game. We got home 20 minutes ago from a two day trip, he disappeared and I thought he was helping to take care of the dogs so I unpacked everything, he didn't show up so I called to see if he was ok (you never know, he could have fallen downstairs and cracked his h...
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WWWCJ
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8
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580
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MY AS has admitted he is powerless over his addictions... Need advise
(Preview)
Hi all, my AS has finally admitted that he is powerless over his addictions. I can only hope and pray he has found his bottom. He is downstairs this very minute. He says his body is craving alcohol. He asked if he could stay with us tonight so he would not have to be alone. He called a good friend of ours and hi...
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Sallygcoe
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7
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404
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Do we have online sponsors here??
(Preview)
I have heard a few people here say they don't have sponsors and can't find one yet. One member even said at a meeting she was told it was too soon to get a sponsor!! I've never heard that kind of response. Is it ever too soon?? So I was wondering if members on this website ever offer to sponsor people through...
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Newlife girl
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10
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680
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I'm very concerned
(Preview)
I know the importance of f2f meetings. I know I desperately need these meetings. Last night there were only two people, me and one other lady at my al-anon meeting. I have to drive about 25 miles to this town b/c my little home town has no al-anon group. I'm afraid my group is dying. The next closest town is...
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cloudyskies
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7
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451
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brother and mom leave me a drunk message. what to do?!
(Preview)
One year ago to the day, my brother took my 19 year old daughter on a road trip but come to find out, he was high the entire time on meth and verbally and emotionally abused my daughter for 5 whole days. When the two of them arrived back home, my brother told me that my daughter was disobedient and went on this...
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starlady1
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10
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472
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I can see my sickness
(Preview)
It was like a bomb fell when I actually saw what my sickness was when my abf came home with a new phone and I hadn't a clue of where he got it I only pictured in my mind the worst scenario,but I was wrong but it sent my mind and body into a state of shock ,then in new it I have to back away for my own sanity,i make mys...
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lookingup
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3
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260
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Gratitude and assets list?
(Preview)
How and what is a gratitude and assets lost and is this something I need to be doing daily as part of my recovery,I need help with this and getting into my recovery,an outline or something for me yo go by everyday will help me to stay on course with my recovery cause I get confused and font know what where or h...
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lookingup
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4
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2679
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My exAH lost the privelege of my kids staying the night by him!
(Preview)
So my girls went up north by their dad for 9 days and in that time he drank twice. Hmmm! The second night they were there he sent my 6 year old to his parents house (Mr king and queen enablers!) so he could go out and drink. My 16 year old was terribly uncomfortable then the next Friday night my 16 year old was he...
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Breakingfree
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6
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434
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Update- rock bottom?
(Preview)
So here I am again - just thought I'd update... My partner is now in jail, not sure for how long. We were camping and she got drunk and ran out of smokes and I told her I wasnt going to drive to get more. She ended up stealing my car again and I tried to stop her and ended up getting dragged and got bad road rash. RC...
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CarlyM123
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8
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504
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Abf bad luck
(Preview)
Abf is has been haveing bad luck over and over and I'm can't help but wonder if that's part of being a alcoholic/addict,I feel like his refuge,his rescuer,his shelter,his everything how does one handle such situations or is this just part of haveing an a in your life that I will have to deal with.what el...
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lookingup
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12
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633
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Good day yesterday with my freind
(Preview)
I'm been hiding money from my abf by telling him my bank account is broke,I tell him I owed all my money out to my friends in trying to survive,he still hasn't brought any money in and up to oweing me good bit of money but I have put my foot down there,but he eats a lot more now,he maybe smoking pot I dunno,any...
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lookingup
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3
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245
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Ding Dong the ..
(Preview)
dick is dead .. opps .. I've probably violated a wording code and I'm really sorry right this second I'm not feeling anything except relief .. I'm not actually talking about my STBAX .. it's my ex step dad. He passed away over the weekend and I feel numb. I lived 7 years of hell with him in the house. It fr...
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SerenityRUS
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6
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422
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First post - need guidance
(Preview)
I will try to be concise. I need some guidance - I am not sure what is him and what is alcohol. I have been married for 30-something years. My husband has been a drinker the whole time. His mother was an alcoholic and I guess that has consequences. I have been trying to read as much as i can to try and figure o...
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Robynll
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7
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441
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The ODAAT
(Preview)
daily reader. Mine is very old. The words are still black and highly contrasted. None of them have fallen off the page and I don't know how the other old timers here experience a "read" such as today's on expectations yet let me ask. Do you also hear the voices which sat with you and gent...
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Jerry F
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8
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838
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Perspectives please ..
(Preview)
Visitation is not going well at all .. I didn't realize how much so until my youngest had a therapy appointment today. Literally I do not see visitation lasting much longer there is to much guilt for the STBAX regarding the kids and regarding me .. he has emotionally checked out on them. He is now insti...
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SerenityRUS
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10
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430
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My crazy day...so overwhelmed...need ESH...again
(Preview)
Feeling so overwhelmed today. I forgot my cell phone at work. My older daughter was taking youngest to see her dad, who is my AH. My older daughter has a different dad. She was supposed to call AH around 12. Well, she called him at 11:30 and went to the house. He didn't answer the phone. I called him at 12:15...
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Newlife girl
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7
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471
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So, we went to that wedding...
(Preview)
My H was supposed to work late and come home late the night before the wedding. But they have a change in the work and he finished early and came home early instead of going to the bar. The result was that in the following morning, he woke up early and fresh and we all got ready to the wedding normally. I was no...
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Luiza
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9
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511
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Sharing some good times
(Preview)
Hello MIP family, I just wanted to share some pictures from a lovely five day holiday on the Amalfi coast. I really loved our visit there, very peaceful and yet still buzzing and the way that the buildings cling to the cliffs is extraordinary! So the balcony view is where we had breakfast every mornin...
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milkwood
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5
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310
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first post, need courage
(Preview)
I've been reading here for a month or so, benefitting from others' experiences and wisdom, trying to understand more. We moved to another state a year ago this week, and the whole year, I thought something was wrong with my H, but I was looking in the wrong places, thinking it was a brain issue, an emotio...
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oceanpine
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15
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583
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Attitude
(Preview)
I went to a movie this Sunday with my AH. It was the house activity for the week. This time around I told myself repeatedly to keep it light, be positive and upbeat and don't bring up all my hurts, anger, resentments to him again. We had a very good time at the movie. He was excited to share with me some of his p...
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Flower49
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4
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194
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Gratitude
(Preview)
I just want to give a shout out to everyone who is here. I am making some great strides because of your E/S/H and words of wisdom and affirmations to me. I couldn't do this without all of your help. Thank you and God Bless!
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Flower49
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4
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178
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Mip!
(Preview)
So saturday our daughter was coming home to try and see her new nephew, one of the other reasons I have left home is because my husband said he wanted nothing to do with the new grandchild and he was keeping out of it! So saturday I was at work in the morning and tried to keep busy, it's the first time I have not...
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Katy
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4
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233
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Picking Up The Car The Next Day
(Preview)
My husband had to be driven home by a friend last night. I'm sure he will want me to take him to pick up his car tomorrow. If I drive him to get the car is that enabling? I'm glad he didn't drive drunk. I feel like taking him to get the car is rescuing him. Dealing with this whole issue of drinking and driving or n...
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In The Forest
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13
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501
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Honeymoon Update
(Preview)
Finally at a place with wifi long enough to check in. It has been wonderful so far. Oslo was beautiful, as was Gothenburg. The cruise has mostly British on board which has been interesting. Nobody is showing up at the AA meetings, but that's ok. Now sitting eating lunch in the town square of Tallinn, Es...
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pinkchip
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23
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755
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My feelings on MIP change
(Preview)
I started out here in the chat room. Been around about 14 years. MIP has been nothing but a HUGE success becuz of John and many, many people. What in the world would make us want to change a wonderful, safe, loving place? If we change we cannot recommend Getting Them Sober, or anything else that THEY do not...
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Debilyn
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26
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1066
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Atty #4
(Preview)
Well, I have moved on to attorney number 4 .. we'll see how this goes. She was suppose to call me back last week and did not .. that is concerning to me. I want this DONE. I think she is seeing that a lot of mistakes have been made and that I have been sold down the river so to speak in the advice I have been give...
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SerenityRUS
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6
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418
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My children back my AH need advice.
(Preview)
My husband is a very active alcoholic. But he does hold down a very good job. I've been married to him for 26 years. He drinks from the time he comes home from work til he goes to bed. And on the weekends - Friday night to Sunday night. He has recently started to get sicker, losing weight, no appetite, s...
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slowlearner
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8
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485
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leaving my a/ breaking up
(Preview)
I don't know what is harder, the fact that he is gone, or the fact that have so much catching up I have to do within my own life. I miss him everyday, and i know the biggest part of it is adjusting to a new routine, but I just hate it so much sometimes. I have to let go of the dreams of children and a home we would bu...
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astallaslions
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11
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514
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