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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> test
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Tracy


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Hi All this site has been a big part of my recovery in the past, I do not visit as much as I could today as my life is really busy.  I am still very active in recovery.  For people who may not know me I have been with my partner for 9 years we are engaged. I have been in recovery for 7 years and have done some work on steps but doing them again with a sponsor. My partner has been in AA for over 4 years sober this time for nearly 2. He has slipped. I am trying to be compassionate but he broke a boundary on Saturday and stayed out all night. When he rang yesterday I had to stick to what I had said told him I was upset didn't trust him when he stays out if drunk and that I did not want him to come home. I have to stick to it so it's up to him if he continues to drink I will get out of the way I can not watch his illness progress and I will not be round him when he is in these states. If he goes back to AA I still can not have a relationship until he does the work the steps makes amends and I can trust him. Although been sober has not got a sponsor or done work but did improve so much through meetings and 1 to 1. It's hard I love him so much but I love me too he is not safe to be around at the moment. I have to keep the focus on myself practice love and self care and hand him over to his hp . I know I am doing the right thing but it still hurts. Wow thank hp for recovery xx thanx for giving me a space to get this out hugs tracy xxxx          



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KennyFenderjazz


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So sorry Tracy. My AW is > 9 months sober now, I try to be thankful for it each day because lf shares like this. I know they are only 1 drink away from relapse.

Good job sticking to your boundary! Keep working those tools!

Kenny

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grateful2be


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(((T)))

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig
hotrod


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Sorry Tracy You have worked hard on your recovery and your courage and wisdom are evident.
I will hold positive thoughts for you and your BF



-- Edited by hotrod on Tuesday 5th of August 2014 06:39:11 PM

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Debilyn


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This is a hard concept for us non a's to understand. A's relapse, they just do. Even after long periods of being in recovery they do.

I had NO idea what that meant. I told my AH I would handcuff him to me so he wouldn't drink or use.

He had super strong recovery, then had a brain surgery so that was that. It was sooo bad, I told myself I don't care if he is sober on program 10 years I will never go back to that again. that horrible pain was worse than living without him.

A's are who and what they are. It's not their fault the disease takes over again. It is horribly strong. Its a symptom no different than selfishness, and manipulation, lying....

I sure understand. But for me I don't trust anyone, I don't distrust anyone. I lovem how they are, if it fits for me great, if not I move on. sure it hurts!

I have a neighbor who wants to be closer friends. I would love that too. But she smokes pot for medical reasons. I completely get that. But she also smokes so I just cannot be around that physically.  Also she forgets she tells me things, repeats. I think well how much can she care about me when she does not remember talking to me? Or more why should I share with her? she is wonderful, there for me and I am for her, though she has a husband so never needs me.

BUT I choose not to get into a close friendship with her knowing the truths. I don't trust or distrust, but her nature is not one i want in my life.

does this make sense? I would never trust an A, never. But again I just love people for who and what they are. I don't expect them to blow it, but when they do, they do. Its no right or wrong, or against me, it is their nature.

I am so sad as I know how it is to have your mate relapse. Made me feel so lonely. I still miss so much about him.

hugs honey!



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
Jerry F


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That is part of our discussion at this evenings meeting Tracy...doing the best we can with what we have.  You're growing good and yours is solid program in the right way for the right reasons.  It is how I was taught also and today how I like to work it.  Would have been nicer this evening to have you at our meeting cause this would have fit sooo nicely in our 1-2-3 step meeting.  I like to hear and watch program work this way and I made a suggestion for MIP this evening so that she can read the ESH here at times when she isn't in meeting.  Test it was and my thinking is that you passed it very well.   Keep coming back.   (((((hugs))))) smile



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PP


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Thank you for posting, Tracy.  You are strong, clear, detached with love, honest and accepting.  Prayers for all concerned.



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Paula
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