The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have heard a few people here say they don't have sponsors and can't find one yet. One member even said at a meeting she was told it was too soon to get a sponsor!! I've never heard that kind of response. Is it ever too soon?? So I was wondering if members on this website ever offer to sponsor people through email or something? I already have a sponsor, and I haven't worked through all the steps yet, so I know I can't sponsor yet.
Just trying to help our members here who are hurting
This is strictly a personal opinion so take what you like finding a temporary sponsor in these situations this is a great outlet part of the Alanon program is to teach us to reach out to others face to face. Certainly finding someone online to work with is a great idea as a temporary idea. There is something about being with someone else as you work the steps and forming that kind of real time acceptance .. watching the other person change is huge .. again .. just an opinion .. I always think getting an outside perspective here or face to face is a great tool to have :)
Hugs and good luck :)
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
I already have a sponsor. I am talking about others here who were told it's too soon to get a sponsor at a face to face meeting. I think online is a good way to get a temporary sponsor while in crisis.
-- Edited by Newlife girl on Tuesday 29th of July 2014 06:03:56 PM
...a good topic.... I no longer have a sponsor. Don't really need one any more.
What people do when the reach Alanon is their own business. Some might need a sponsor right away- it really does depend. I have this feeling that people are best to do steps 2 and 3 inside of the group. The groups are their for a reason. And i think groups for this should be smaller- say 8 to 10 people.
so everyone gets a chance to share, and to listen...
I think this helps people work out where they are at with their lives. For me at this stage I had to learn to trust other people... I needed to do this desperately...
I don't see any of the 12 steps like this- a sausage machine with our Higher Power turned the handle. In the end we are all here for the same reason... but our needs right this moment may well be very different...
...if I was asked to sponsor i would listen and find out what the needs and issues were...
...a good topic.... I no longer have a sponsor. Don't really need one any more.
What people do when the reach Alanon is their own business. Some might need a sponsor right away- it really does depend. I have this feeling that people are best to do steps 2 and 3 inside of the group. The groups are their for a reason. And i think groups for this should be smaller- say 8 to 10 people.
so everyone gets a chance to share, and to listen...
I think this helps people work out where they are at with their lives. For me at this stage I had to learn to trust other people... I needed to do this desperately...
I don't see any of the 12 steps like this- a sausage machine with our Higher Power turned the handle. In the end we are all here for the same reason... but our needs right this moment may well be very different...
...if I was asked to sponsor i would listen and find out what the needs and issues were...
DavidG.
I was pointing out that a member here said she asked for a sponsor and was told it was too soon. Doesn't sound like the correct response to me. It depends on the group. Some groups don't work the steps together. The meetings I go to have speakers or read out of How Al anon Works. I am just trying to help people out.
I waited probably too long to get a sponsor. But i wasnt ready to give up
Control. My will was strong when it had to do with my dry ah. It took losing
My hard earned serenity before my sponsor and i got together. Sometimes
you just have to wait. I had gone to two therapist during my alanon time
So i had that under my belt. I think HP put her in my path at the right time.
I still need to surrender my will and trust HP. I feel guided but not really feel it
Inside me yet. Much too much resistance on my part.
I cant imagine an online sponsor being able to provide the same support as a face to face sponsor. Ive never been a sponsor, im not finished with the steps either but didnt know that was a rule, I suppose it makes sense. When I think of what I get from my sponsor, I think some of it would have been lost if it had been in email form. I would also worry that the person may rely o the virtual program rather than push themselves to go to a meeting. I dont think there is any subsitute for meetings, the face to face contact, hugs, understanding, being physically part of the fellowship was part of my healing. For some people, me included, isolating myself, hiding away from the world was part of my disease. I wonder if I had gotten everything online would I still be isolating myself? I think its a very personal thing, choosing a sponsor, getting to know group members, watching how they work it asking them to do it and then contacting them, meeting with them, calling them up, attending meetings with them. maybe and online sponsor would take that opportunity away from someone. For me, the best I can do is offer my esh here on the public forum, that way its not about only the one person, it might help others and of course it helps me to understand the program better too. Its a fellowship of equals so for me that means we cant really cut corners without losing growth in the process.
-- Edited by el-cee on Wednesday 30th of July 2014 06:40:47 AM
Yes.. Many sponsors work online or on the phone. I prefer the phone. I can offer you a phone meeting that has lots of available sponsors if you are interested.. 918-200-2010 (Tamara) CST 9am-9PM
I am not able to get to F2F meetings because the closest ones to me are still too far for me to get to. I thought about an online sponsor but not too many people think it's a good idea. Personally I would rather have a sponsor online than not at all... I don't have a sponsor because I have yet to find someone who thinks it's a good idea to do it online.
I think its a good idea if your sponsor is someone who has what you want and has demonstrated their commitment to the program. So - there's my vote in favor of an on-line sponsor. Skype and phone calls help, too, with on-line sponsors.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Tuesday 5th of August 2014 09:25:23 PM
DavidG.