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Took a step to stop enabling.
(Preview)
So...My A never came home last night. Then this morning, from work, he called crying the blues. I told him I was very busy at work and he should call our couples counselor if he needed to talk . hahaha...that went over big.
After work, my friend called and said she saw my truck, that he drives, at a...
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kicky
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5
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530
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scrambling for the few crumbs
(Preview)
I have spent much of my life scrambling for the few crumbs. Every now and again the A offers a few crumbs of affection, attention. I take them and then am eventually oused out into the cold again. Like a soap opera he will always find a way to put everything else before our relationshi...
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maresie2
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5
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509
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My fortune Cookie said.....
(Preview)
"Possibly you are going to make an important decision tonight." And I have.
When I first came to Al-anon I avoided those who were divorced, I had a hard time w/ their shares thinking (in my know it all thinking) that they couldn't have tried hard enough. Well, I'm hear to humbly te...
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Lunamoth
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5
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546
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how do you handle it when the world is crapping on you?
(Preview)
not only getting crapped on by my brother but now im getting crapped on at work too
how do you dig yourself out when the world is crapping on you?
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Barbara
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8
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507
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AA May Prevent Murders
(Preview)
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Alcoholics Anonymous, the worldwide group that helps addicts stop drinking, may also help drive down the number of murders in a community, Canadian researchers reported on Sunday.
As membership in the group in Ontario, Canada, increased between 1968 and 1991, murders t...
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kissers
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4
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495
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getting back on the horse
(Preview)
This past week I had two job interviews for short term jobs that pay well. I did not get either. I came close on one. I have not heard from the other so I can presume I did not get that either. Normally I would go off into feeling like a victim about this. I would cite all the issues t...
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maresie2
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4
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521
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Crazy Stuff
(Preview)
My daughter and I were coming out of the car to walk into a bookstore when we ran into an old friend's 17 year old daughter. She seemed very sad and confused. She was trying very hard to keep a smile on her face. I asked her if she was alright because she did not seem to be okay. That's when she told me that she re...
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kissers
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1
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378
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New, Depressed and Hopeless
(Preview)
I was so happy to find this board. I haven't yet had the courage or willpower to go to a local Al-Anon meeting. I was recently diagnosed with Major Depression and Anxiety, had to be off work for almost 3 weeks until my antidepressants started working. I have come to realize th...
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Iguana Girl
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10
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514
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A's out drinking...go figure.
(Preview)
So yesterday we went to our bi-monthly couples therapy. The topic of consideration for each other came up and I brought up how bad I feel that my A doesn't even call to say he is staying out with his bar buddies. So of course my A says that if he calls, I'll just fight anyway, so he just saves the argument for t...
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kicky
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3
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488
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Please Pray for a Newborn
(Preview)
My best, oldest friend, Theresa got news that her granddaughter, who lives out of state, had to be born 2 months early. Her mommy didn't feel her moving, so went to Dr., and they did an emergency c-section.
Baby's name is Sydney Grace. She has bowel obstruction, and will have to have sur...
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Becky1
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9
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372
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a friend of mine is sick talk about an exercise in detachment.
(Preview)
A friend of mine who I have had to do so much work around detachment with called tonight to say she is very ill. She has bleeding on the brain and has been very sick. She lives on the other side of the USA. I feel really sad for her and at the same time angry at her because like many of my relationsh...
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maresie2
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4
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461
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Hurray I can see the screen!!!
(Preview)
Hello (((Everyone)))
My monitoe blew up a few weeks ago and it took me a while to find and get a monitor a friend wasn't using but I'm back 
Keeping busy with work mainly, and have been getting involved with animal rescues through a lady I met at the coffee shop next door. Not to mention worki...
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Jennifer
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2
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390
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What I am learning...
(Preview)
(((Good morning everyone))))
I have learned so much in the few months I have been introduced to this program. When I first found this board I was panicked, full of fear, total rage, and tears. I felt like it was the end of the world.
I did not know what Alanon was about.&nb...
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hersh
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4
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383
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Your face to face
(Preview)
I noticed in another post that someone had given a description of her first face to face, and I thought "What a good idea". So many people here are not quite sure if they are ready to go to a f2f - maybe if a few of us who do go describe what it's like at ours, it won't be so intimidating.
The f2f I usually go t...
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lin0606
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1
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481
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resigning certain roles
(Preview)
I have set myself up to be a lot of roles around the A to get a few crumbs from him.
Today I am really not very well at all. I have had a terrible time with allergies during the last week. I have been in bed for 2 days straight at some points and really really ill. I missed one day off work in...
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maresie2
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7
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501
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the 3 C's in practice - ESH please
(Preview)
I need help thinking this through -- so I come to you all who understand .... I have a couple of separate situations going on where there is either obsessiveness, alcoholism, or al-anon issues running rampant in such a way that the other persons are making choices that have a direct impact on my life, my...
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emma
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3
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528
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a little help?
(Preview)
Hi everyone,
I heard from the AH again tonight and he is in Atlanta, he asked for money...to stay with me....to use the shower and shave....
I'm wondering how much detachment I should do. I'm not very strong with face to face but I know I am going to have to face him for the kids. I don't want to be weak...
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carolinagirl
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5
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478
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I've got to get off of this rollercoaster
(Preview)
okay...the short of it is this....I meet someone and we started dating. First couple of dates, he's so excited about "us." He shares everything...including a hx. of alcohol abuse. He believes that God has healed him. He doesn't do the meeting thing, but finds stre...
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katrina2000
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4
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576
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In Limbo....
(Preview)
(((Hi everyone)))
What do you do when calm down for a while. Now, after crisis after crisis all year. AH is not getting help, and probably won't, he has had a "fling" and swears that she is a friend now. My heart has just broken after all of this.... we still live together, he...
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hersh
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7
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485
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Just thinking
(Preview)
Last night I had to go look for my A to let him know his mother is sick and that he needs to find a way to get her to the doc. tomorrow...so of course, the bars were the first place I thought to look, and after leaving there I realized a few things....we are from a small town where everybody knows everybo...
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acjmom
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6
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534
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who am I to say his an A ?
(Preview)
I had begun to think that maybe he wasn't an A. I had even stopped refering to him as an A. Tried working on me and my attitude. And things have improved greatly, so much that when he asked me again to marry him, I said yes. We were planning an Oct. wedding.
Last week he got a call that his oldes...
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sld488
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3
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403
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What I've Always Wanted!
(Preview)
I have always wanted a rock-tumbler, you know, that makes ordinary rocks shiny and beautiful. I have wanted one since I was about 5. Always asked for one for Christmas. Nope. Oh, my sister got the Easy-bake oven she wanted. But rock tumbler....nope.
I had express...
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Becky1
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6
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465
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Mental illness and alcoholism really doesn't mix
(Preview)
My brother's friend has been calling me a lot recently. Four weeks ago my brother (mentally ill, alcoholic & drug user) was found on the floor of his apartment - laying in his own urine. He was unable to stand up.
Let me back up just a little. My brother is 69 years old and has been an A/using since he w...
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Noni
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3
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382
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asking for prayers for son, once again....
(Preview)
((((((friends))))))
My son's court date is coming up soon.......one week from today, Oct. 3. It is a sentencing hearing, as a lot of you know. I am once again asking those of you who want to, to join me as I pray for him to have the best outcome possible. He is working his program and...
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Lexie
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8
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417
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detachment with a little self-doubt
(Preview)
Endured an ugly exchange with my ex (A) last night that I faced with a sense of detachment and calm I dont think I've ever experienced before. I'm so saddened by how things have degenerated between us, but I'm so grateful to Al-Anon for giving me tools, for helping me to understand what I can and ca...
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faraway06
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4
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517
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A healing day
(Preview)
This evening my ex-fiance visited to discuss step 9:
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
What a true blessing AA has been for him - he fought AA for so long and continued to fail at other attempts at sobriety. He l...
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sallyb
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4
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361
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Alcohol claims another life
(Preview)
I found out last night, Sunday, that a former co-worker had commited suicide. A very sad story. She was about 30 years old, single mom of three. Just had her last baby this past summer. All 3 children had been taken away by Dept. of SS. She was an alcoholic. She hung herslef, was found by her boyfriend. App...
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horselover58
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10
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635
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Artygirl update
(Preview)
Hello
Things have really changed since the last time I posted.
A quick recap... I'm divorcing my A/Cokehead husband. He's not dealing well with it at all. He left me a disturbing voicemail message on my phone last week, in which he fired a gun. I guess I was supposed to think he was killing himself.
...
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artygirl
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7
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353
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the marriage vow question...
(Preview)
I chatted with my husband online the other day and felt really crappy when done. He threw the old I vowed in sickness and health line at me. How have others dealt with this issue? I feel like saying they said in sickness and health not sickness and hell! Any examples of how othe...
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carolinagirl
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9
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762
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Control Issues
(Preview)
Today I sit here at home, at my computer...when I should be at work.
There is nothing physically wrong with me to have kept me home today.
Last night the husband ran to the grocery store and only brought home healthy foods, cause he's on a diet. It was as if he was putting me on one too. I di...
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Peggy7
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3
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512
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Merry Go Round called Denial for Bluebelle
(Preview)
I hope I've managed to attach this leaflet ok. I found it very useful, especially when I was a newcomer. I'm sure alot of you know it.
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mon123
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0
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432
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I can't recover until...
(Preview)
This is a follow-up to Gailey's and Maresie's most recent posts--ya' really got me to think! Thank you!
It makes me think about how I often secretly believe I can't recover until certain things happen. Of course these other things happening take the power directly out of my hands and put it directly...
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BlueCloud
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4
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452
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In the Trenches
(Preview)
Well it has only been a little over 24 hours since I joined this board. A lot of experience strength and hope, and a lot of pain being shared. I have noticed in my regular Alanon meetings, new people are often very quiet and don't really get to vent much about their situation. I think here, there is an extra...
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barisax
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4
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520
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Some answered prayers... I hope
(Preview)
(((MIP Family)))
Thanks to all who posted yesterday with their wonderful words of wisdom and experience. I love that we have each other to bounce off difficult situations that pop up with our A's. I was able to have a conversation with my A yesterday about my car. I let him know th...
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twinmom2
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2
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464
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Supervised Visits with A
(Preview)
Don't really have a question, just need to vent to people that understand and have been there. My A son (age 31) divorced and lives in a grimy little hovel (basement apt) not much better than just being on the street is only allowed to see his two children (ages 10 and 8) when they are totally...
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April306
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5
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385
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URGHHHH
(Preview)
I am having such an internal struggle. I have a close friend who is desperately trying to turn his life around. He is a recovering A/CA and also has a criminal background. One would be bad enough for trying to start over .. but to have both.. He is working the program very hard; howeve...
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Newbie
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9
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472
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Questioning myself
(Preview)
I have been reading ALOT of the post on here....new and old...and Im starting to ask myself if I really DID do everything I could have b4 I asked my A to leave, Im wondering if I did the right thing, at the time I thought I was right, but since then I have read posts about not always trying to be right, wh...
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acjmom
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5
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353
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Potato Chips or Paycheck?
(Preview)
((((((((((((Family)))))))))),
I can hear you all now: Now what is Karilynn up to? (As you all shake your heads and roll your eyes!)  Just hang in there with me, there's a lesson here.
Work called on Sunday and wanted me to come work 7pm-3am because the CEO is flying in "on a jet" to quote...
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Karilynn
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13
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616
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Growing
(Preview)
Today is a great day. Yesterday I was able to meet my new Sponsoee who i am very happy to have. Today the day is going very good for me. I have my computer up an running and I AM VERY GREATFUL TO THAT!! I am going to be going to a meeting with a friend tomomorrow and help me get back into the swing of things. That wh...
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nycbt
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5
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410
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Taking Care of me
(Preview)
I am having some issues with my substitute teaching job and trying to figure out what is the best way to take care of me. Any Experience, Strength and Hope would be appreciated.
Experience, Strength and Hope is writing what your experiences have been, what the outcome was, it is no...
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Robinks
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3
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499
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FALLING FROM CLOUD NINE
(Preview)
Hi everyone,
I've been comming into this room for a few months now, and i have enjoyed all the banter(laughs) between everyone. I may also have caused offence on the ODD occasion(lol). i have been really happy the last few months, laughing, smiling, being nice to everyone, not arguing with anyone,...
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ally
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4
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578
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Maresie said she used to think.......
(Preview)
" if certain things happened I would never recover."
Oh....Maresie!!!! I can relate to that feeling. I still have that thought in my head.
I call that "PROJECTION".That is a horrible thing for me to deal with. When A son first started exhibiting "drinking problems"[/...
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Gailey
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0
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344
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Rock bottom ??????
(Preview)
Wow, I dont know where to begin... One week ago I kicked my a husband out of the house for having phone conversations with another woman he met in a bar.. Needless to say this has been a terrible week.. I have been going to counseling, and finally had to go to the Dr's to get some medication to help .. My hus...
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Tammy
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7
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603
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A is not my husband...why is my marriage falling apart?
(Preview)
As you all know my A is my son. He has been living at my house for almost a year. It is a separate apartment attached to our house with its own entrance.
He is never at the house when he is drinking. He has a girlfriend that I guess he stays with most of the time. He loves to be at my house because of the locati...
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Gailey
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10
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616
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coping
(Preview)
How to cope with the heartbreak of the A getting sicker and sicker and slipping away? Thats a question that perplexes me lately.
I see he's looking beaten. He is drained, and almost lifeless at times. He looks like he's getting old, wearing away. I know he's ill with addiction. Also with some physc...
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annmarie
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3
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359
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resentments
(Preview)
hi everyone, i wanted to write about resentments today and share about how we can let them go. why are we holding on to them anyways? resentments get us no where and hurt ourselves more then anyone else. we are all aware of this but yet we still hold on. so what can we do about it? we can practice forgi...
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notsonew1111
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3
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412
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Debilyn says..............
(Preview)
"He has to see and believe drugs take away my home, my ability to work, my friends, my dignity my family etc."
Thanks so much for saying that Debilyn. It really helped me to believe that we are doing the right thing with having my son move out of the house.
As the day goes on I am feeling bett...
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Gailey
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1
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443
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Oh to have a bank account with endless pots of money in it...
(Preview)
This would be lovely. Why is it when one thing goes wrong in A's life it pours bucketts on them. The most frustrating piece is that if your in the firing range because you live with an A its going to affect you and everyone else around. My A has never been a man who could carry a stable job...
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twinmom2
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6
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415
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need help please,losing it
(Preview)
(((((alanon family))))
Well I'm working on my 4th step and so much crap keeps coming up.That's supposed to be a good thing though,I guess.Gotta get it out.I am stuck on something I'm hoping someone here can help me with.
Short history, I've been married since I was 17 (36 years) to my alcoholic hus...
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drucilla06
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10
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680
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Did I do the right thing?
(Preview)
My soon to be ex-husband called her the other night. There is a restraining order and so he is not supposed to (he is a lawyer and knows). I called the police right away. He spent the next night (Wednesday) in jail. What do you think? The background info to this is...
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missingKodiak
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5
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531
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Sydney Grace Update
(Preview)
Baby Sydney Grace (from post Prayers for a Newborn) is still about the same. They are just trying to get her stabalized enough to do surgery on her bowels. Her mom and dad are just trying to cope, but they have a wonderful faith, so I feel they will be OK. They have another little girl w...
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Becky1
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0
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326
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Ever have trouble speaking alanon to someone who doesn't understand alanon?
(Preview)
Hi all,
By speaking alanon I mean using phrases like accepting unacceptable behavior, not giving advice, and not attacking the "A".
At the beginnging of this month my best friend moved out of state with her long term boyfriend. And she and I have talked weekly since then. Well I just got off the pho...
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Dolphin123
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7
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479
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detachment with love or abandonment?
(Preview)
Hi Family,
Anyone who has read my posts and remembers, I have a 36 yr old son diagnosed with bipolar/schizo affective. He stayed here with us for about 6 or 7 months when he gradually got worse ...kept having hallucinations and delusions of plots against him and most of the time his anger was di...
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irish54
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7
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612
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Calling CYN..stranger!
(Preview)
has anyone seen CYN lately????
i e-mailed her ages ago and didnt hear from her since... just a little worried...
just a quick update on me.... i havent spoken to my ex in over 4 weeks... and have no intention of ever speaking to him again.... after his latest stunt of swallowing his concoction of tab...
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Rebecca
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2
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333
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How do you???????????
(Preview)
search out all the posts you have made since you started?
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Gailey
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3
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385
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what a bad day
(Preview)
i can't wait till i write "what a good day". the foreclouser sale on my house is tomarrow so i had moving men come today to get the last few things out. i hadn't been there in months. it was so hard. i cried and felt awful. all the memories, our hopes and dreams and the kids. that was their home. we all loved it s...
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serendipity
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6
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468
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Taking it Back
(Preview)
Hi everyone! It has been a few months since I have been around. I have been going to F2F meetings and haven't had a computer to get online. Now I am back in school and have gotten settled so I might be able to do more posting.
This summer has been quite the exciting thing. The la...
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hudsond
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5
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399
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GRETA Thank you so much!
(Preview)
I just want to thank Greta again for her post about the 'blame game'. I chatted online with my AH again tonight (in Shreveport now and still on his way here) and he threw in the marriage vow thing and talked about how he would never kick me out (I moved out of the house and he left on his own). I got caught in it a...
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carolinagirl
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1
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344
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Update; Family Death
(Preview)
Hi Family,
As many of you now know, two of my aunts were brutally murdered in Fort Myers, Fla. on the 10th of Sept, two weeks ago.
Well, on Saturday, Sept 23rd, the person who murdered them was caught in Topeka, Kanas and is now in jail there. He was identified by finger prints and other forscen...
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John
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13
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574
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update - long
(Preview)
Hi everyone,
I’m back. Did some more research again & WHAT a lesson…..why do I do this to myself? Again & again?
I have no one to blame but myself!
I had a no-where job, no-where life so I decided to put in my notice with my apartment complex. ...
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CAM0914
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3
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410
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