Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

barisax · barisax

When I was 10 years old, my parents were in the final stages of divorce although I probably wasn't aware of it. My mom had been going to Alanon for some time, and I only had a vague idea what it was for. Because she was good at keeping up a pretense of normalcy, I suppose my brother (then 7) and I knew less than w...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I just moved to NC a year ago and to the area I am in now about 6 mos. ago and am considering going back to Boulder Co. I have been here 6 months and NO friends! Not that I have any in Boulder either. I hate the schools here and people feel very cold and unkind. Anyhow, my question i...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Ok so here's my problem. Last week since I had moved out and my husband left the state I figured I'd put the house up for rent and just pay off bills/buy food with the money until I was forclosed upon or sold. It is currently for sale. Last night I showed the house to a couple who has 3 kids just like me same...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) As I work the steps, they all make sense and they all have plausable proof, (if only to me) that I have "achived the spirit of the step before I move on to the next". Then there is step 3.... I have been struggling with that for quite a while now. I guess I am too much of a...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I keep thinking why is it so hard for me to "detach" without feeling that I'm being MEAN? I feel like I'm being mean and he says I'm being mean why can't I then think about ALL the meanness he has delivered my way? Instead of feeling sorry or guilty? I don't want to feel sorry...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

"We are so careful to see that no gets hurt, no that is, but ourselves". Quoted from an Alanon member in Codependent No More. Victimization and how that has affected me my entire life has been a burning desire to heal in the last month. I am practicing taking care of myself, speaki...

feelinhopeful · feelinhopeful

((((Hello all))) It has been months since I have posted to this board or even been in the chat room, but I once again find myself drawn back and have realized through reading the posts how much my own recovery has digressed. I am posting now because I have reached the end of my rope once again and t...

kicky · kicky

So...My A never came home last night. Then this morning, from work, he called crying the blues. I told him I was very busy at work and he should call our couples counselor if he needed to talk . hahaha...that went over big. After work, my friend called and said she saw my truck, that he drives, at a...

maresie2 · maresie2

I have spent much of my life scrambling for the few crumbs. Every now and again the A offers a few crumbs of affection, attention. I take them and then am eventually oused out into the cold again. Like a soap opera he will always find a way to put everything else before our relationshi...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

"Possibly you are going to make an important decision tonight." And I have. When I first came to Al-anon I avoided those who were divorced, I had a hard time w/ their shares thinking (in my know it all thinking) that they couldn't have tried hard enough. Well, I'm hear to humbly te...

Barbara · Barbara

not only getting crapped on by my brother but now im getting crapped on at work too how do you dig yourself out when the world is crapping on you?

kissers · kissers

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Alcoholics Anonymous, the worldwide group that helps addicts stop drinking, may also help drive down the number of murders in a community, Canadian researchers reported on Sunday. As membership in the group in Ontario, Canada, increased between 1968 and 1991, murders t...

maresie2 · maresie2

This past week I had two job interviews for short term jobs that pay well. I did not get either. I came close on one. I have not heard from the other so I can presume I did not get that either. Normally I would go off into feeling like a victim about this. I would cite all the issues t...

kissers · kissers

My daughter and I were coming out of the car to walk into a bookstore when we ran into an old friend's 17 year old daughter. She seemed very sad and confused. She was trying very hard to keep a smile on her face. I asked her if she was alright because she did not seem to be okay. That's when she told me that she re...

Iguana Girl · Iguana Girl

I was so happy to find this board. I haven't yet had the courage or willpower to go to a local Al-Anon meeting. I was recently diagnosed with Major Depression and Anxiety, had to be off work for almost 3 weeks until my antidepressants started working. I have come to realize th...

kicky · kicky

So yesterday we went to our bi-monthly couples therapy. The topic of consideration for each other came up and I brought up how bad I feel that my A doesn't even call to say he is staying out with his bar buddies. So of course my A says that if he calls, I'll just fight anyway, so he just saves the argument for t...

Becky1 · Becky1

My best, oldest friend, Theresa got news that her granddaughter, who lives out of state, had to be born 2 months early. Her mommy didn't feel her moving, so went to Dr., and they did an emergency c-section. Baby's name is Sydney Grace. She has bowel obstruction, and will have to have sur...

maresie2 · maresie2

A friend of mine who I have had to do so much work around detachment with called tonight to say she is very ill. She has bleeding on the brain and has been very sick. She lives on the other side of the USA. I feel really sad for her and at the same time angry at her because like many of my relationsh...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello (((Everyone))) My monitoe blew up a few weeks ago and it took me a while to find and get a monitor a friend wasn't using but I'm back

Keeping busy with work mainly, and have been getting involved with animal rescues through a lady I met at the coffee shop next door. Not to mention worki...

hersh · hersh

(((Good morning everyone)))) I have learned so much in the few months I have been introduced to this program. When I first found this board I was panicked, full of fear, total rage, and tears. I felt like it was the end of the world. I did not know what Alanon was about.&nb...

lin0606 · lin0606

I noticed in another post that someone had given a description of her first face to face, and I thought "What a good idea". So many people here are not quite sure if they are ready to go to a f2f - maybe if a few of us who do go describe what it's like at ours, it won't be so intimidating. The f2f I usually go t...

maresie2 · maresie2

I have set myself up to be a lot of roles around the A to get a few crumbs from him. Today I am really not very well at all. I have had a terrible time with allergies during the last week. I have been in bed for 2 days straight at some points and really really ill. I missed one day off work in...

emma · emma

I need help thinking this through -- so I come to you all who understand .... I have a couple of separate situations going on where there is either obsessiveness, alcoholism, or al-anon issues running rampant in such a way that the other persons are making choices that have a direct impact on my life, my...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Hi everyone, I heard from the AH again tonight and he is in Atlanta, he asked for money...to stay with me....to use the shower and shave.... I'm wondering how much detachment I should do. I'm not very strong with face to face but I know I am going to have to face him for the kids. I don't want to be weak...

katrina2000 · katrina2000

okay...the short of it is this....I meet someone and we started dating. First couple of dates, he's so excited about "us." He shares everything...including a hx. of alcohol abuse. He believes that God has healed him. He doesn't do the meeting thing, but finds stre...

hersh · hersh

(((Hi everyone))) What do you do when calm down for a while. Now, after crisis after crisis all year. AH is not getting help, and probably won't, he has had a "fling" and swears that she is a friend now. My heart has just broken after all of this.... we still live together, he...

acjmom · acjmom

Last night I had to go look for my A to let him know his mother is sick and that he needs to find a way to get her to the doc. tomorrow...so of course, the bars were the first place I thought to look, and after leaving there I realized a few things....we are from a small town where everybody knows everybo...

sld488 · sld488

I had begun to think that maybe he wasn't an A. I had even stopped refering to him as an A. Tried working on me and my attitude. And things have improved greatly, so much that when he asked me again to marry him, I said yes. We were planning an Oct. wedding. Last week he got a call that his oldes...

Becky1 · Becky1

I have always wanted a rock-tumbler, you know, that makes ordinary rocks shiny and beautiful. I have wanted one since I was about 5. Always asked for one for Christmas. Nope. Oh, my sister got the Easy-bake oven she wanted. But rock tumbler....nope. I had express...

Noni · Noni

My brother's friend has been calling me a lot recently. Four weeks ago my brother (mentally ill, alcoholic & drug user) was found on the floor of his apartment - laying in his own urine. He was unable to stand up. Let me back up just a little. My brother is 69 years old and has been an A/using since he w...

Lexie · Lexie

((((((friends)))))) My son's court date is coming up soon.......one week from today, Oct. 3. It is a sentencing hearing, as a lot of you know. I am once again asking those of you who want to, to join me as I pray for him to have the best outcome possible. He is working his program and...

faraway06 · faraway06

Endured an ugly exchange with my ex (A) last night that I faced with a sense of detachment and calm I dont think I've ever experienced before. I'm so saddened by how things have degenerated between us, but I'm so grateful to Al-Anon for giving me tools, for helping me to understand what I can and ca...

sallyb · sallyb

This evening my ex-fiance visited to discuss step 9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. What a true blessing AA has been for him - he fought AA for so long and continued to fail at other attempts at sobriety. He l...

horselover58 · horselover58

I found out last night, Sunday, that a former co-worker had commited suicide. A very sad story. She was about 30 years old, single mom of three. Just had her last baby this past summer. All 3 children had been taken away by Dept. of SS. She was an alcoholic. She hung herslef, was found by her boyfriend. App...

artygirl · artygirl

Hello Things have really changed since the last time I posted. A quick recap... I'm divorcing my A/Cokehead husband. He's not dealing well with it at all. He left me a disturbing voicemail message on my phone last week, in which he fired a gun. I guess I was supposed to think he was killing himself. ...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I chatted with my husband online the other day and felt really crappy when done. He threw the old I vowed in sickness and health line at me. How have others dealt with this issue? I feel like saying they said in sickness and health not sickness and hell! Any examples of how othe...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

Today I sit here at home, at my computer...when I should be at work. There is nothing physically wrong with me to have kept me home today. Last night the husband ran to the grocery store and only brought home healthy foods, cause he's on a diet. It was as if he was putting me on one too. I di...

mon123 · mon123

I hope I've managed to attach this leaflet ok. I found it very useful, especially when I was a newcomer. I'm sure alot of you know it.

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

This is a follow-up to Gailey's and Maresie's most recent posts--ya' really got me to think! Thank you! It makes me think about how I often secretly believe I can't recover until certain things happen. Of course these other things happening take the power directly out of my hands and put it directly...

barisax · barisax

Well it has only been a little over 24 hours since I joined this board. A lot of experience strength and hope, and a lot of pain being shared. I have noticed in my regular Alanon meetings, new people are often very quiet and don't really get to vent much about their situation. I think here, there is an extra...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((MIP Family))) Thanks to all who posted yesterday with their wonderful words of wisdom and experience. I love that we have each other to bounce off difficult situations that pop up with our A's. I was able to have a conversation with my A yesterday about my car. I let him know th...

April306 · April306

Don't really have a question, just need to vent to people that understand and have been there. My A son (age 31) divorced and lives in a grimy little hovel (basement apt) not much better than just being on the street is only allowed to see his two children (ages 10 and 8) when they are totally...

Newbie · Newbie

I am having such an internal struggle. I have a close friend who is desperately trying to turn his life around. He is a recovering A/CA and also has a criminal background. One would be bad enough for trying to start over .. but to have both.. He is working the program very hard; howeve...

acjmom · acjmom

I have been reading ALOT of the post on here....new and old...and Im starting to ask myself if I really DID do everything I could have b4 I asked my A to leave, Im wondering if I did the right thing, at the time I thought I was right, but since then I have read posts about not always trying to be right, wh...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((((((Family)))))))))), I can hear you all now: Now what is Karilynn up to? (As you all shake your heads and roll your eyes!)

Just hang in there with me, there's a lesson here. Work called on Sunday and wanted me to come work 7pm-3am because the CEO is flying in "on a jet" to quote...

nycbt · nycbt

Today is a great day. Yesterday I was able to meet my new Sponsoee who i am very happy to have. Today the day is going very good for me. I have my computer up an running and I AM VERY GREATFUL TO THAT!! I am going to be going to a meeting with a friend tomomorrow and help me get back into the swing of things. That wh...

Robinks · Robinks

I am having some issues with my substitute teaching job and trying to figure out what is the best way to take care of me. Any Experience, Strength and Hope would be appreciated. Experience, Strength and Hope is writing what your experiences have been, what the outcome was, it is no...

ally · ally

Hi everyone, I've been comming into this room for a few months now, and i have enjoyed all the banter(laughs) between everyone. I may also have caused offence on the ODD occasion(lol). i have been really happy the last few months, laughing, smiling, being nice to everyone, not arguing with anyone,...

Gailey · Gailey

" if certain things happened I would never recover." Oh....Maresie!!!! I can relate to that feeling. I still have that thought in my head. I call that "PROJECTION".That is a horrible thing for me to deal with. When A son first started exhibiting "drinking problems"[/...

Tammy · Tammy

Wow, I dont know where to begin... One week ago I kicked my a husband out of the house for having phone conversations with another woman he met in a bar.. Needless to say this has been a terrible week.. I have been going to counseling, and finally had to go to the Dr's to get some medication to help .. My hus...

Gailey · Gailey

As you all know my A is my son. He has been living at my house for almost a year. It is a separate apartment attached to our house with its own entrance. He is never at the house when he is drinking. He has a girlfriend that I guess he stays with most of the time. He loves to be at my house because of the locati...

annmarie · annmarie

How to cope with the heartbreak of the A getting sicker and sicker and slipping away? Thats a question that perplexes me lately. I see he's looking beaten. He is drained, and almost lifeless at times. He looks like he's getting old, wearing away. I know he's ill with addiction. Also with some physc...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

hi everyone, i wanted to write about resentments today and share about how we can let them go. why are we holding on to them anyways? resentments get us no where and hurt ourselves more then anyone else. we are all aware of this but yet we still hold on. so what can we do about it? we can practice forgi...

Gailey · Gailey

"He has to see and believe drugs take away my home, my ability to work, my friends, my dignity my family etc." Thanks so much for saying that Debilyn. It really helped me to believe that we are doing the right thing with having my son move out of the house. As the day goes on I am feeling bett...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

This would be lovely. Why is it when one thing goes wrong in A's life it pours bucketts on them. The most frustrating piece is that if your in the firing range because you live with an A its going to affect you and everyone else around. My A has never been a man who could carry a stable job...

drucilla06 · drucilla06

(((((alanon family)))) Well I'm working on my 4th step and so much crap keeps coming up.That's supposed to be a good thing though,I guess.Gotta get it out.I am stuck on something I'm hoping someone here can help me with. Short history, I've been married since I was 17 (36 years) to my alcoholic hus...

missingKodiak · missingKodiak

My soon to be ex-husband called her the other night. There is a restraining order and so he is not supposed to (he is a lawyer and knows). I called the police right away. He spent the next night (Wednesday) in jail. What do you think? The background info to this is...

Becky1 · Becky1

Baby Sydney Grace (from post Prayers for a Newborn) is still about the same. They are just trying to get her stabalized enough to do surgery on her bowels. Her mom and dad are just trying to cope, but they have a wonderful faith, so I feel they will be OK. They have another little girl w...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi all, By speaking alanon I mean using phrases like accepting unacceptable behavior, not giving advice, and not attacking the "A". At the beginnging of this month my best friend moved out of state with her long term boyfriend. And she and I have talked weekly since then. Well I just got off the pho...

irish54 · irish54

Hi Family, Anyone who has read my posts and remembers, I have a 36 yr old son diagnosed with bipolar/schizo affective. He stayed here with us for about 6 or 7 months when he gradually got worse ...kept having hallucinations and delusions of plots against him and most of the time his anger was di...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	The Great Bug Out (Preview) When I was 10 years old, my parents were in the final stages of divorce although I probably wasn't aware of it. My mom had been going to Alanon for some time, and I only had a vague idea what it was for. Because she was good at keeping up a pretense of normalcy, I suppose my brother (then 7) and I knew less than w...	barisax	4	534	Sep 29, 2006 by barisax
	Moving or running? (Preview) I just moved to NC a year ago and to the area I am in now about 6 mos. ago and am considering going back to Boulder Co. I have been here 6 months and NO friends! Not that I have any in Boulder either. I hate the schools here and people feel very cold and unkind. Anyhow, my question i...	carolinagirl	3	561	Sep 29, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Moral dilemma need help... (Preview) Ok so here's my problem. Last week since I had moved out and my husband left the state I figured I'd put the house up for rent and just pay off bills/buy food with the money until I was forclosed upon or sold. It is currently for sale. Last night I showed the house to a couple who has 3 kids just like me same...	carolinagirl	9	573	Sep 29, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Made a decission to turn our will and our lives over to the God of our understanding (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) As I work the steps, they all make sense and they all have plausable proof, (if only to me) that I have "achived the spirit of the step before I move on to the next". Then there is step 3.... I have been struggling with that for quite a while now. I guess I am too much of a...	rtexas	8	499	Sep 29, 2006 by Tiger2006
	why is this so hard? (Preview) I keep thinking why is it so hard for me to "detach" without feeling that I'm being MEAN? I feel like I'm being mean and he says I'm being mean why can't I then think about ALL the meanness he has delivered my way? Instead of feeling sorry or guilty? I don't want to feel sorry...	carolinagirl	5	502	Sep 29, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Removing the victim (Preview) "We are so careful to see that no gets hurt, no that is, but ourselves". Quoted from an Alanon member in Codependent No More. Victimization and how that has affected me my entire life has been a burning desire to heal in the last month. I am practicing taking care of myself, speaki...	twinmom2	6	580	Sep 29, 2006 by Tiger2006
	confused and torn (Preview) ((((Hello all))) It has been months since I have posted to this board or even been in the chat room, but I once again find myself drawn back and have realized through reading the posts how much my own recovery has digressed. I am posting now because I have reached the end of my rope once again and t...	feelinhopeful	3	514	Sep 29, 2006 by hersh
	Took a step to stop enabling. (Preview) So...My A never came home last night. Then this morning, from work, he called crying the blues. I told him I was very busy at work and he should call our couples counselor if he needed to talk . hahaha...that went over big. After work, my friend called and said she saw my truck, that he drives, at a...	kicky	5	540	Sep 29, 2006 by hersh
	scrambling for the few crumbs (Preview) I have spent much of my life scrambling for the few crumbs. Every now and again the A offers a few crumbs of affection, attention. I take them and then am eventually oused out into the cold again. Like a soap opera he will always find a way to put everything else before our relationshi...	maresie2	5	519	Sep 29, 2006 by leo
	My fortune Cookie said..... (Preview) "Possibly you are going to make an important decision tonight." And I have. When I first came to Al-anon I avoided those who were divorced, I had a hard time w/ their shares thinking (in my know it all thinking) that they couldn't have tried hard enough. Well, I'm hear to humbly te...	Lunamoth	5	557	Sep 29, 2006 by twinmom2
	how do you handle it when the world is crapping on you? (Preview) not only getting crapped on by my brother but now im getting crapped on at work too how do you dig yourself out when the world is crapping on you?	Barbara	8	518	Sep 29, 2006 by maire rua
	AA May Prevent Murders (Preview) WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Alcoholics Anonymous, the worldwide group that helps addicts stop drinking, may also help drive down the number of murders in a community, Canadian researchers reported on Sunday. As membership in the group in Ontario, Canada, increased between 1968 and 1991, murders t...	kissers	4	513	Sep 29, 2006 by Phil
	getting back on the horse (Preview) This past week I had two job interviews for short term jobs that pay well. I did not get either. I came close on one. I have not heard from the other so I can presume I did not get that either. Normally I would go off into feeling like a victim about this. I would cite all the issues t...	maresie2	4	541	Sep 29, 2006 by Jerry F
	Crazy Stuff (Preview) My daughter and I were coming out of the car to walk into a bookstore when we ran into an old friend's 17 year old daughter. She seemed very sad and confused. She was trying very hard to keep a smile on her face. I asked her if she was alright because she did not seem to be okay. That's when she told me that she re...	kissers	1	388	Sep 29, 2006 by Christy
	New, Depressed and Hopeless (Preview) I was so happy to find this board. I haven't yet had the courage or willpower to go to a local Al-Anon meeting. I was recently diagnosed with Major Depression and Anxiety, had to be off work for almost 3 weeks until my antidepressants started working. I have come to realize th...	Iguana Girl	10	525	Sep 28, 2006 by Iguana Girl
	A's out drinking...go figure. (Preview) So yesterday we went to our bi-monthly couples therapy. The topic of consideration for each other came up and I brought up how bad I feel that my A doesn't even call to say he is staying out with his bar buddies. So of course my A says that if he calls, I'll just fight anyway, so he just saves the argument for t...	kicky	3	500	Sep 28, 2006 by kicky
	Please Pray for a Newborn (Preview) My best, oldest friend, Theresa got news that her granddaughter, who lives out of state, had to be born 2 months early. Her mommy didn't feel her moving, so went to Dr., and they did an emergency c-section. Baby's name is Sydney Grace. She has bowel obstruction, and will have to have sur...	Becky1	9	383	Sep 28, 2006 by peewee
	a friend of mine is sick talk about an exercise in detachment. (Preview) A friend of mine who I have had to do so much work around detachment with called tonight to say she is very ill. She has bleeding on the brain and has been very sick. She lives on the other side of the USA. I feel really sad for her and at the same time angry at her because like many of my relationsh...	maresie2	4	472	Sep 28, 2006 by Christy
	Hurray I can see the screen!!! (Preview) Hello (((Everyone))) My monitoe blew up a few weeks ago and it took me a while to find and get a monitor a friend wasn't using but I'm back Keeping busy with work mainly, and have been getting involved with animal rescues through a lady I met at the coffee shop next door. Not to mention worki...	Jennifer	2	408	Sep 28, 2006 by rtexas
	What I am learning... (Preview) (((Good morning everyone)))) I have learned so much in the few months I have been introduced to this program. When I first found this board I was panicked, full of fear, total rage, and tears. I felt like it was the end of the world. I did not know what Alanon was about.&nb...	hersh	4	394	Sep 28, 2006 by Tammy
	Your face to face (Preview) I noticed in another post that someone had given a description of her first face to face, and I thought "What a good idea". So many people here are not quite sure if they are ready to go to a f2f - maybe if a few of us who do go describe what it's like at ours, it won't be so intimidating. The f2f I usually go t...	lin0606	1	497	Sep 28, 2006 by rtexas
	resigning certain roles (Preview) I have set myself up to be a lot of roles around the A to get a few crumbs from him. Today I am really not very well at all. I have had a terrible time with allergies during the last week. I have been in bed for 2 days straight at some points and really really ill. I missed one day off work in...	maresie2	7	515	Sep 28, 2006 by maresie2
	the 3 C's in practice - ESH please (Preview) I need help thinking this through -- so I come to you all who understand .... I have a couple of separate situations going on where there is either obsessiveness, alcoholism, or al-anon issues running rampant in such a way that the other persons are making choices that have a direct impact on my life, my...	emma	3	541	Sep 28, 2006 by Lunamoth
	a little help? (Preview) Hi everyone, I heard from the AH again tonight and he is in Atlanta, he asked for money...to stay with me....to use the shower and shave.... I'm wondering how much detachment I should do. I'm not very strong with face to face but I know I am going to have to face him for the kids. I don't want to be weak...	carolinagirl	5	489	Sep 28, 2006 by Diva
	I've got to get off of this rollercoaster (Preview) okay...the short of it is this....I meet someone and we started dating. First couple of dates, he's so excited about "us." He shares everything...including a hx. of alcohol abuse. He believes that God has healed him. He doesn't do the meeting thing, but finds stre...	katrina2000	4	588	Sep 28, 2006 by Diva
	In Limbo.... (Preview) (((Hi everyone))) What do you do when calm down for a while. Now, after crisis after crisis all year. AH is not getting help, and probably won't, he has had a "fling" and swears that she is a friend now. My heart has just broken after all of this.... we still live together, he...	hersh	7	496	Sep 28, 2006 by Karilynn
	Just thinking (Preview) Last night I had to go look for my A to let him know his mother is sick and that he needs to find a way to get her to the doc. tomorrow...so of course, the bars were the first place I thought to look, and after leaving there I realized a few things....we are from a small town where everybody knows everybo...	acjmom	6	545	Sep 28, 2006 by Karilynn
	who am I to say his an A ? (Preview) I had begun to think that maybe he wasn't an A. I had even stopped refering to him as an A. Tried working on me and my attitude. And things have improved greatly, so much that when he asked me again to marry him, I said yes. We were planning an Oct. wedding. Last week he got a call that his oldes...	sld488	3	414	Sep 28, 2006 by Karilynn
	What I've Always Wanted! (Preview) I have always wanted a rock-tumbler, you know, that makes ordinary rocks shiny and beautiful. I have wanted one since I was about 5. Always asked for one for Christmas. Nope. Oh, my sister got the Easy-bake oven she wanted. But rock tumbler....nope. I had express...	Becky1	6	474	Sep 28, 2006 by Karilynn
	Mental illness and alcoholism really doesn't mix (Preview) My brother's friend has been calling me a lot recently. Four weeks ago my brother (mentally ill, alcoholic & drug user) was found on the floor of his apartment - laying in his own urine. He was unable to stand up. Let me back up just a little. My brother is 69 years old and has been an A/using since he w...	Noni	3	392	Sep 28, 2006 by Karilynn
	asking for prayers for son, once again.... (Preview) ((((((friends)))))) My son's court date is coming up soon.......one week from today, Oct. 3. It is a sentencing hearing, as a lot of you know. I am once again asking those of you who want to, to join me as I pray for him to have the best outcome possible. He is working his program and...	Lexie	8	430	Sep 28, 2006 by Karilynn
	detachment with a little self-doubt (Preview) Endured an ugly exchange with my ex (A) last night that I faced with a sense of detachment and calm I dont think I've ever experienced before. I'm so saddened by how things have degenerated between us, but I'm so grateful to Al-Anon for giving me tools, for helping me to understand what I can and ca...	faraway06	4	528	Sep 28, 2006 by Karilynn
	A healing day (Preview) This evening my ex-fiance visited to discuss step 9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. What a true blessing AA has been for him - he fought AA for so long and continued to fail at other attempts at sobriety. He l...	sallyb	4	372	Sep 28, 2006 by Karilynn
	Alcohol claims another life (Preview) I found out last night, Sunday, that a former co-worker had commited suicide. A very sad story. She was about 30 years old, single mom of three. Just had her last baby this past summer. All 3 children had been taken away by Dept. of SS. She was an alcoholic. She hung herslef, was found by her boyfriend. App...	horselover58	10	646	Sep 28, 2006 by Karilynn
	Artygirl update (Preview) Hello Things have really changed since the last time I posted. A quick recap... I'm divorcing my A/Cokehead husband. He's not dealing well with it at all. He left me a disturbing voicemail message on my phone last week, in which he fired a gun. I guess I was supposed to think he was killing himself. ...	artygirl	7	364	Sep 28, 2006 by artygirl
	the marriage vow question... (Preview) I chatted with my husband online the other day and felt really crappy when done. He threw the old I vowed in sickness and health line at me. How have others dealt with this issue? I feel like saying they said in sickness and health not sickness and hell! Any examples of how othe...	carolinagirl	9	775	Sep 27, 2006 by Jeannie
	Control Issues (Preview) Today I sit here at home, at my computer...when I should be at work. There is nothing physically wrong with me to have kept me home today. Last night the husband ran to the grocery store and only brought home healthy foods, cause he's on a diet. It was as if he was putting me on one too. I di...	Peggy7	3	522	Sep 27, 2006 by maresie2
	Merry Go Round called Denial for Bluebelle (Preview) I hope I've managed to attach this leaflet ok. I found it very useful, especially when I was a newcomer. I'm sure alot of you know it.	mon123	0	443	Sep 27, 2006 by mon123
	I can't recover until... (Preview) This is a follow-up to Gailey's and Maresie's most recent posts--ya' really got me to think! Thank you! It makes me think about how I often secretly believe I can't recover until certain things happen. Of course these other things happening take the power directly out of my hands and put it directly...	BlueCloud	4	462	Sep 27, 2006 by maresie2
	In the Trenches (Preview) Well it has only been a little over 24 hours since I joined this board. A lot of experience strength and hope, and a lot of pain being shared. I have noticed in my regular Alanon meetings, new people are often very quiet and don't really get to vent much about their situation. I think here, there is an extra...	barisax	4	532	Sep 27, 2006 by barisax
	Some answered prayers... I hope (Preview) (((MIP Family))) Thanks to all who posted yesterday with their wonderful words of wisdom and experience. I love that we have each other to bounce off difficult situations that pop up with our A's. I was able to have a conversation with my A yesterday about my car. I let him know th...	twinmom2	2	476	Sep 27, 2006 by Rita G
	Supervised Visits with A (Preview) Don't really have a question, just need to vent to people that understand and have been there. My A son (age 31) divorced and lives in a grimy little hovel (basement apt) not much better than just being on the street is only allowed to see his two children (ages 10 and 8) when they are totally...	April306	5	396	Sep 27, 2006 by nycbt
	URGHHHH (Preview) I am having such an internal struggle. I have a close friend who is desperately trying to turn his life around. He is a recovering A/CA and also has a criminal background. One would be bad enough for trying to start over .. but to have both.. He is working the program very hard; howeve...	Newbie	9	491	Sep 27, 2006 by nycbt
	Questioning myself (Preview) I have been reading ALOT of the post on here....new and old...and Im starting to ask myself if I really DID do everything I could have b4 I asked my A to leave, Im wondering if I did the right thing, at the time I thought I was right, but since then I have read posts about not always trying to be right, wh...	acjmom	5	364	Sep 27, 2006 by nycbt
	Potato Chips or Paycheck? (Preview) ((((((((((((Family)))))))))), I can hear you all now: Now what is Karilynn up to? (As you all shake your heads and roll your eyes!) Just hang in there with me, there's a lesson here. Work called on Sunday and wanted me to come work 7pm-3am because the CEO is flying in "on a jet" to quote...	Karilynn	13	628	Sep 27, 2006 by Becky1
	Growing (Preview) Today is a great day. Yesterday I was able to meet my new Sponsoee who i am very happy to have. Today the day is going very good for me. I have my computer up an running and I AM VERY GREATFUL TO THAT!! I am going to be going to a meeting with a friend tomomorrow and help me get back into the swing of things. That wh...	nycbt	5	422	Sep 27, 2006 by ET
	Taking Care of me (Preview) I am having some issues with my substitute teaching job and trying to figure out what is the best way to take care of me. Any Experience, Strength and Hope would be appreciated. Experience, Strength and Hope is writing what your experiences have been, what the outcome was, it is no...	Robinks	3	511	Sep 27, 2006 by Robinks
	FALLING FROM CLOUD NINE (Preview) Hi everyone, I've been comming into this room for a few months now, and i have enjoyed all the banter(laughs) between everyone. I may also have caused offence on the ODD occasion(lol). i have been really happy the last few months, laughing, smiling, being nice to everyone, not arguing with anyone,...	ally	4	587	Sep 27, 2006 by ally
	Maresie said she used to think....... (Preview) " if certain things happened I would never recover." Oh....Maresie!!!! I can relate to that feeling. I still have that thought in my head. I call that "PROJECTION".That is a horrible thing for me to deal with. When A son first started exhibiting "drinking problems"[/...	Gailey	0	355	Sep 27, 2006 by Gailey
	Rock bottom ?????? (Preview) Wow, I dont know where to begin... One week ago I kicked my a husband out of the house for having phone conversations with another woman he met in a bar.. Needless to say this has been a terrible week.. I have been going to counseling, and finally had to go to the Dr's to get some medication to help .. My hus...	Tammy	7	619	Sep 27, 2006 by Noni
	A is not my husband...why is my marriage falling apart? (Preview) As you all know my A is my son. He has been living at my house for almost a year. It is a separate apartment attached to our house with its own entrance. He is never at the house when he is drinking. He has a girlfriend that I guess he stays with most of the time. He loves to be at my house because of the locati...	Gailey	10	629	Sep 27, 2006 by Gailey
	coping (Preview) How to cope with the heartbreak of the A getting sicker and sicker and slipping away? Thats a question that perplexes me lately. I see he's looking beaten. He is drained, and almost lifeless at times. He looks like he's getting old, wearing away. I know he's ill with addiction. Also with some physc...	annmarie	3	379	Sep 27, 2006 by annmarie
	resentments (Preview) hi everyone, i wanted to write about resentments today and share about how we can let them go. why are we holding on to them anyways? resentments get us no where and hurt ourselves more then anyone else. we are all aware of this but yet we still hold on. so what can we do about it? we can practice forgi...	notsonew1111	3	433	Sep 26, 2006 by nmike
	Debilyn says.............. (Preview) "He has to see and believe drugs take away my home, my ability to work, my friends, my dignity my family etc." Thanks so much for saying that Debilyn. It really helped me to believe that we are doing the right thing with having my son move out of the house. As the day goes on I am feeling bett...	Gailey	1	456	Sep 26, 2006 by debilyn
	Oh to have a bank account with endless pots of money in it... (Preview) This would be lovely. Why is it when one thing goes wrong in A's life it pours bucketts on them. The most frustrating piece is that if your in the firing range because you live with an A its going to affect you and everyone else around. My A has never been a man who could carry a stable job...	twinmom2	6	425	Sep 26, 2006 by maresie2
	need help please,losing it (Preview) (((((alanon family)))) Well I'm working on my 4th step and so much crap keeps coming up.That's supposed to be a good thing though,I guess.Gotta get it out.I am stuck on something I'm hoping someone here can help me with. Short history, I've been married since I was 17 (36 years) to my alcoholic hus...	drucilla06	10	692	Sep 26, 2006 by drucilla06
	Did I do the right thing? (Preview) My soon to be ex-husband called her the other night. There is a restraining order and so he is not supposed to (he is a lawyer and knows). I called the police right away. He spent the next night (Wednesday) in jail. What do you think? The background info to this is...	missingKodiak	5	544	Sep 26, 2006 by missingKodiak
	Sydney Grace Update (Preview) Baby Sydney Grace (from post Prayers for a Newborn) is still about the same. They are just trying to get her stabalized enough to do surgery on her bowels. Her mom and dad are just trying to cope, but they have a wonderful faith, so I feel they will be OK. They have another little girl w...	Becky1	0	337	Sep 26, 2006 by Becky1
	Ever have trouble speaking alanon to someone who doesn't understand alanon? (Preview) Hi all, By speaking alanon I mean using phrases like accepting unacceptable behavior, not giving advice, and not attacking the "A". At the beginnging of this month my best friend moved out of state with her long term boyfriend. And she and I have talked weekly since then. Well I just got off the pho...	Dolphin123	7	489	Sep 26, 2006 by Noni
	detachment with love or abandonment? (Preview) Hi Family, Anyone who has read my posts and remembers, I have a 36 yr old son diagnosed with bipolar/schizo affective. He stayed here with us for about 6 or 7 months when he gradually got worse ...kept having hallucinations and delusions of plots against him and most of the time his anger was di...	irish54	7	622	Sep 26, 2006 by Noni
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.