The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I do know what you mean. We stop thinking of ourselves, our dreams and goals are covered up with pain.
For me it is keeping my home and keeping it up. It is such a challenge to own a home, acreage, barn and animals alone.
My whole life is a goal really. Right now it is getting things winterized and efficient so I am not crying every time I go out in the cold to feed.
Also have a goal to not react to people who are mean or unreasonable. I tend to respond when I want to not say a thing. I don't like anyone to draw me into their stuff.
I've been lucky enough that most of my "have to do's" are also my "want to do's", so by the time I have gotten through work, my commitments at home (housework, cooking, walking the dog, etc), my volunteer online job, various little projects I'm working on, and spent some time reading my book, my day is over, and I'll have actively enjoyed about 75 % of it. I make a point of not doing things I dislike, unless they are really necessary (cleaning toilets, etc) and try to add some element of enjoyment to not -so-nice tasks.
For instance, today I put my flower garden to bed for the winter, and spent rather more time than I wanted to, killing slugs. However, it was a gorgeous fall day, and I was listening to a book I really enjoyed on my cassette player while I did it, so it was not too bad. (Actually, it was kinda fun in a sick way, watching them writhe and die - (don't tell anybody I said that) - I really hate slugs)
Maybe there is some volunteer activity you can do, to give some meaning to your life. I have always thought that if I lived in a big city I would like to volunteer at the hospital - they often need people to rock the babies born drug addicted, as they go through withdrawal.
I own a small business which delights me every day. Do I have challenges in my life? Yes, but they are positive challenges. Nothing worse for the mental attitude than sitting around doing nothing. Get out. Do something useful. Make a difference. Got a cause you believe in? Get out there and do something about it. Want a political candidate to be elected. Campaign! Love flowers? Grow a garden. Teach a child or grown-up to read. We all need challenge in our lives. otherwise, what's the purpose?
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
My daughter came home from her nana's house one day and was telling me how nana was telling her stories of her girlhood, then said "how come you never do that with me mom?".....
I used to go thru periods of what I called "stagnation"... I'd be sitting at home thinking how bored I was, how I needed to do something, something to make a difference in the world. Sometimes I'd sit and write some poetry, or I'd do laundry, or I'd clean house, or or or or.... sure it took the boredom away cause then I was busy... but world changing?? hahaha
Daughter's words taught me something. Perhaps the most challenging, "world-changing" thing is simply sharing myself with another person, especially those close to me. Sharing the real inner me. Making myself vulnerable. Giving them the gift of me.
Luv, Kis
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Let your light shine in the darkness. "I can't just bring my mind to meetings...I must also bring my heart."
