Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

arty · arty

Many months ago I went to a shrink to discuss how to help my A as his general behaviour was extremely destructive back then...even when he wasnt drinking. In my session, the same point kept coming up. should i stay or should i go? Her advice to me was to make up my mind and stick to my decision. So i decid...

Wind · Wind

Hello all, First off I want to thank those of you that were so wonderful to me in the chat room tonight. You have inspired me to go ahead and ask for the help I know I need. Why is it so hard to ask for help sometimes? Anyway, I am from Urbana,Illinois and am looking for a support system. I have a 31 year old dau...

hersh · hersh

(((Hi everyone)))) What happens when you just feel through, but not ready to make the change yet? I have been escaping AH all last week and feeling good, doing my own thing. He still drinks horribly after 3 days of sobriety, usually beginning Monday, then drinks Wed or Thurs unt...

Busbe · Busbe

Reading about TTs stuff gives me permission to let go of a sick A neighbor who blamed us earlier for reporting his barking dog and some dirt pile he had out in front. I didnt get mad at him that day when he came to the house. But then I really got po'd at him and preceded to tell him OFF...Wel...

debilyn · debilyn

I'm sorry, I did not see your post. No I guess I am not ok. But I am sure will be again someday, just not today. Really into the one day at a time. Thank you for asking about me. Means a lot to me. Yes i miss Chief. He was a big part of Eden. Estersue and I took a nap and we cried together today. S...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

Dear ((((((((((txmom))))))))))) Been thinking of you a whole lot this month. Remembering the shock and grief we all felt hearing of dadrrb's passing.... So glad we could all be here for you during that time. Remembering watching you grow in the program and finding your love for him again, even o...

marmare · marmare

Okay, little prayers and good thoughts, I have an interview at 2pm. Hugs Mary

purplebutterfly · purplebutterfly

Why do I feel so guilty about speaking to my own mom? My A makes me feel this way. I didnt speak to my mom for a few yrs cause of a bunch of issues. My dry does not like my family at all. Blames my mom because of my sickness. My was drunk during caring me. I am at peace with it now. I accept it. I dont feel comfortable...

marmare · marmare

Hi All, My A and I had a wonderful fun time planned Saturday night, we went to see X-Treme fights, which I very much enjoy. Somehow it turned all wrong, I became what I thought was angry and left and went to the car and we went home. I said hurtful things and it has taken me two days to figure ou...

TLC2 · TLC2

My A has gone away for a few days with a couple guys, who I know will be drinking, will I ever stop thinking the worst?? I feel it will truly be a miracle if he comes back sober. While I'm develeping an ulcer..., please pray for us. Love TLC

hudsond · hudsond

It never ceases to amaze me-the level of selfishness an a has. My ah has been crazy off and on about him having to get rid of his stuff to bring in some money so we can pay for a lawyer for this latest bout with the law. I am BROKE!!! I can't get another loan b/c of debt to income ratio--not t...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) In talking with my grouchy old ASober Father this weekend, he told my AW and I some stories I had never heard. I love my Dad, he is a great guy. He quit drinking on his own for 6 months when he was in his early 30's. He was at his brothers house and was offered a beer....

kabbie · kabbie

My husband and I don't always see eye to eye on how to work with our 22 year old alcoholic daughter. (She is 30 plus days sober in a rehab facility, grateful for that!) I lived for 8 years with an A (my daughter's father, go figure) before leaving and marrying my current husband, not an A. I'm further alon...

Becky1 · Becky1

OK, those of you who know me know I am "madly in love" with country music star, Keith Urban. LOL He married Nichole Kidman 4 months ago. He just admitted himself (or she admitted him) to rehab again. He's been thru this before. She had him sign a pre-nup about his drug and alc...

raechill · raechill

i guess i am just feeling condemnee ; i just can't stop stuffing my face and i am always feeling like things will never get better

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Everyone))))) Is it by chance that my work has allowed me to make my recovery almost a full time job for the past 8 months? Is it by chance that when my AW is trying to tell me on the phone that I am being a bad father and husband that I just so happen to be at my grandparents gravesite reading the smal...

Diva · Diva

I have considered the slogan, "Say what you mean, but don't say it mean." Aside from the fact that I have difficulty with the incorrect grammar of that one, I wonder; why can't we say it "mean?" If I were not angry at the time, I would say nothing at all. This slogan encourages us to stifle any anger we may fe...

ollie · ollie

Hi to all, Yes im feeling sad,but not sure how im supposed to be. H and myself been apart(my choice) since may,due to me throwing him out ,since then he has had to live in a salvation army refuge due to having nowhere to go. Over the last month there has been a vast improvement in him ,finding him a goo...

Cilla · Cilla

Hopefully I am finally seeing some success. My 13 year old son has been going through quite a difficult period in his life. He has caused some very dire consequences for himself and yet I am fortunate to have the insight of realizing how this disease does affect the family through it's man...

Rita G · Rita G

Ever hear of a housewarming party without a House - Well that's what I'm doing!!! - I am living the "Fake it til ya make it" in every bit of my life. As some you may know it has been a tough few months for us, with our daughter Ashley, I have had some health problems and having trouble diagnosing th...

Lauren ashley · Lauren ashley

I am so very hurt,irate,and confused. I do not know what I want anymore. I am tired of my life always being so challenging. I cannot form lasting relationships with anyone, not even with alanoners. I am scared I will be let down once again, and I don't think I could bare another let down. I do not even have a...

bev · bev

it has been a while since i posted.but on oct 8 i went on my cruise with my mother in law for 8 days,it was so much fun looking forward to going again..we got home from our cruise on sunday oct 15 during our cruise and our ride back home from miami my mother had talked to my father in law a few times to see how he wa...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi Everyone, I have learned in the past week that I need to try to respond rather than react to myA. I have been confused with detatchment and boundary setting in the last while. I have been unwittingly "reacting" to his behaviour and thought I was, in doing so, making my...

debilyn · debilyn

did something for me!!! My doctor friend invited me to his party with lotsa his friends up in the "city." I asked Raini, my daughter to go with me. It was fancy shmancy. I did not really know this. lol I had to drive to the train station, sit in a train for like almost 3 hours. Ride up was pretty....

debilyn · debilyn

Subject: [Cat-A-List] My horse with wings, has flown away Went to feed and Chief, my appy/paint was down. horrible. send message to my animal groups. this is a sad story. but part of it all. thank you for your loving thoughts. NO question, I could feel it. All of a sudd...

TLC2 · TLC2

Sure would love to hear from you. I know you are going through a really hard time right now. Don't forget that we are here for you, and love you very much! I read your post about Chief, and cried for you. My horse is 18 and I know the day will come sooner than I like to think, I also have a cat who is 14. Picture C...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Just wanted to share a song that touched me ... not quite the impact of hearing it but close. Sorry for the reference to a particular HP, please replace with your preference.

The whole CD this is on sounds like a sound track to my life for the last year, and it's kept me sane for about the same amount...

Tammy · Tammy

Today is a new day and I will thank my HP for that.. I have been struggling with this seperation with days of feeling I can not do this.. My husband is still living in the camper and has been sober 6 weeks with the exception of the one night he drank on the anniversery of his mothers death. I have been real...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) I have never been an emotional person, that was reserved strictly for my mother. My ASober Dad came from a family of all boys, and my grandmother (who I loved so much) was tougher than anyone I have ever known. All 5'2" and 100 pounds of her. Nobody that I grew up with p...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Everyone))))) I have read every post and every reply in gathering up the strength to meet my AW to pick up my son today. She is picking him up from school and I am getting him at 6:00 when I get off. I am glad they have some time together each day. Today she is still upset about the si...

nmike · nmike

Well, I came back from my trip. My AHsober called at first making small talk, asking me how my team did, how was my friend, did I hear from the boys. And then he tells me he put earnest money down on a trailer and land. It is a great deal he says, it is a divorce settlement and its cheap and the only thing wrong is...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

The A has been coming over and staying on weekends and then staying at friends houses during the week that are closer to his work. Here's my problem. I feel as though I am getting sucked back in. I am starting to think in terms of "we" instead of "me". I am relishing all the love a...

rtexas · rtexas

.... the power of your prayers! This has been the hardest day of my life. This part of it is over, and I know that I can deal with whatever comes next. (HP help me if it is like this again...) I am so grateful for your support I almost burst into tears when I saw the messa...

Gailey · Gailey

Most of the time when I am trying to communicate something to my A son I feel like I cannot do it without sounding mean and controlling. I try to say it without sounding like that but as I hear myself, it does sound like I am angry. I guess maybe I am angry at him most of the time. It has to do alot with expectatio...

Gailey · Gailey

Press her magical wand to the star necklace, and Fairy Wishes Dora seems to come alive! Her face will change expressions; she can blink her eyes, smile, look surprised, sing and make wishes. She even sings the Wishing Fairy song! Dressed in her beautiful fairy gown, sparkly wing...

Lauren ashley · Lauren ashley

Life Through My Eyes In my life I have only known nothing but lies In my own little world with my own little eyes Where there in no sadness and I can hear no cries I am sad but cannot cry My tears have long been dry I cannot fill a heart that was never whole I also am dead inside And hav...

Mindy · Mindy

I have finally calemd down to be able to talk to my A who is current;y in rehab He keeps bringing up the "Don't hate me, hate the disease" trying to make me not despise him for his behavior.All that I have been able to say back is that he has had a choce to drink or stay sober and he chose to drink and do horrible t...

Miranda · Miranda

so most of you know my story, the ups, downs, inbetweens, etc, etc. well i have finally decided to get it all out. i'm starting a book. i don't have much time to write, but i've found myself writing furiously every second i have a chance. the book has started out as a letter to my father, its got a lot of stuff...

Phil · Phil

One of the truths about chemical dependency is that no person drinks or uses drugs in a vacuum. Relatives easily find themselves drawn into a maelstrom of anxiety over a family member's chemical use, and their sincere efforts to arrest the problem may only deepen it. Judy's story off...

jaja · jaja

Some people may think it's easier to live without the alcoholic in their lives but it's not necessarily like that. Sometimes it's just as hard to live without them, I think. But, where did I read this, which is harder - the pain of living with an alcoholic or the pain of living without them? And I th...

jaja · jaja

Since

athena12 · athena12

It has been a week and a half since my mother died and I can hardly let myself think about it let alone, feel anything besides numbness. I know in many ways I lost her a long time ago, first to my father's alcoholism and then to her severe depression that never left her for the rest o...

SusanP · SusanP

Hi. I need help dealing with my brother. He is an alcoholic and a gambling addict. He is 33 years old. What I need help with today is that he is threatening me with suicide unless I give him money. I am wavering and may give it to him. So here's the background. ...

athena12 · athena12

Dear Fellow Alanoner Friends, Please know that am grateful to all who responded about the recent untimely death of my mother. I think most of you would have liked my Mom. She never went into recovery but in many ways she was a natural a...

curious · curious

Wow--I have been in these rooms for three months. What a crazy three months. Thanks for being there. I bottommed out when my A lost it on my 19 year old. He went to rehab. He got out. He lapsed a little several times. We are working through paranoia and he is...

Rita G · Rita G

((MIP family)) Thanks to all of you that this is a safe place - a place that I can say what I think and feel without ever being judged - Thank you so very much. I can't say it to my beautiful step-daughter, Ashley, because I have to take care of me. I can't have any contact with her so I'll just have t...

kabbie · kabbie

I had a real "aha" moment this weekend, listening to a recovering A. He did 28 days of inpatient rehab, left the facility, hit the first bar he could find, and ended up in the emergency room the following day after his release with an above 4.0 alc level..it's a miracle he survived. He's now over a year s...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello ((Everyone)) Perhaps I should say using slogans against himself, I am just allowing it to affect me. My A has been through treatment after treatment since teen years. Sometimes I allow myself to forget the disease can take someting good like the slogans and twist them for his own purposes....

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, Thanks to everyone who helped me through my anger episode last week. I followed your advice and went to a meeting yesterday evening. It was extremely helpful, and I'm arranging to get to another one this evening. I had been slipping a lot on little things lately and needed to harness m...

kicky · kicky

I said goodbye to my A today. After 7 years of our roller coaster ride, moving in moving out, thinking he would change, trying to accept the addiction, and finally knowing things will NEVER change unless I do. So I did. I gave him the ultimate choice of a life as an addict... or a life with me after...

athena12 · athena12

Let me clarify my previous postings. My mother was euthanized at a Catholic hospice. Less than one week after her cancer diagnosis. All treatment and food were withheld from her. My mother was not asked or given a choice about this. I was carrying on like Shirley M...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((((((Everyone)))))))))) Thank you all for your support yesterday. I am trying to live in the moment right now, but last night was a lulu. I don't have but a second, but I just wanted to say thank you so much. If you ever wondered if your posts and your support mean anything....

kabbie · kabbie

I'm new to the message board, and fairly new to Alanon. My 22 year old daughter has been struggling with alcohol and cocaine use for the past few years. She is now into her 3rd week of voluntary inpatient rehab, following a black out, horrific car accident, and 2nd DUI. (No one was injured,...

maresie2 · maresie2

I am seriously thinking about doing a double take on my thanksgiving plans. The As brother is around and will have no place else to go. He and his brother normally smoke tons of marjuana and get stoned any holiday. They are cooked for by their mother. I don't much want to fil...

Christy · Christy

retexas, Just wanted to check and see how you are doing today. Wishing you strength, Christy

evey · evey

AH had one four years ago, new job offer requires background check. Anybody in the know want to share?? Thanks. evey

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, Needing to share a little this Sunday Morning.....yesterday, Chuck called about 8:30 am and asked me to come and follow him to take his truck to his dads and take him to detox. I thought about it for awhile and said, ok....so went.....it was a very hard thing to do but I was thinking, i...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Everyone))))) For those who don't know, my AW and I have had a real rough time of it. Relationship really suffering and it came to a head for me on the 9th. I told her I really can't live this way any more and if she doesn't commit to a program to try and get sober that we needed to make arr...

kidsmom · kidsmom

Hello everyone. Recently I started back to the local meetings in this area. However I am still plagued by the decision I have made to divorce my A/addict. ( just moved here to finish degree, commute was too expensive). Background - We went throught the drinking 10 years ago, I...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So I'm on the phone with my A last night and talking about him getting a place to stay, paying bills, etc. and he says I don't want to get a place...how long do I have to be good before I come home! This really pissed me off, I guess the idea of being a foregone conclusion (of course I'm going to ta...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Do i stay or do i go? (Preview) Many months ago I went to a shrink to discuss how to help my A as his general behaviour was extremely destructive back then...even when he wasnt drinking. In my session, the same point kept coming up. should i stay or should i go? Her advice to me was to make up my mind and stick to my decision. So i decid...	arty	8	498	Oct 26, 2006 by arty
	Looking for a support system (Preview) Hello all, First off I want to thank those of you that were so wonderful to me in the chat room tonight. You have inspired me to go ahead and ask for the help I know I need. Why is it so hard to ask for help sometimes? Anyway, I am from Urbana,Illinois and am looking for a support system. I have a 31 year old dau...	Wind	2	397	Oct 26, 2006 by Lauren ashley
	When you are drained??? (Preview) (((Hi everyone)))) What happens when you just feel through, but not ready to make the change yet? I have been escaping AH all last week and feeling good, doing my own thing. He still drinks horribly after 3 days of sobriety, usually beginning Monday, then drinks Wed or Thurs unt...	hersh	5	509	Oct 26, 2006 by TLC2
	tts letting go of ppl stuff (Preview) Reading about TTs stuff gives me permission to let go of a sick A neighbor who blamed us earlier for reporting his barking dog and some dirt pile he had out in front. I didnt get mad at him that day when he came to the house. But then I really got po'd at him and preceded to tell him OFF...Wel...	Busbe	2	391	Oct 25, 2006 by twinkie
	hi tlc (Preview) I'm sorry, I did not see your post. No I guess I am not ok. But I am sure will be again someday, just not today. Really into the one day at a time. Thank you for asking about me. Means a lot to me. Yes i miss Chief. He was a big part of Eden. Estersue and I took a nap and we cried together today. S...	debilyn	4	370	Oct 25, 2006 by TLC2
	To Txmom - remembering dadrrb (Preview) Dear ((((((((((txmom))))))))))) Been thinking of you a whole lot this month. Remembering the shock and grief we all felt hearing of dadrrb's passing.... So glad we could all be here for you during that time. Remembering watching you grow in the program and finding your love for him again, even o...	kismetstrand	7	457	Oct 25, 2006 by tea2
	Interview Today (Preview) Okay, little prayers and good thoughts, I have an interview at 2pm. Hugs Mary	marmare	5	347	Oct 25, 2006 by tea2
	guilt and shame (Preview) Why do I feel so guilty about speaking to my own mom? My A makes me feel this way. I didnt speak to my mom for a few yrs cause of a bunch of issues. My dry does not like my family at all. Blames my mom because of my sickness. My was drunk during caring me. I am at peace with it now. I accept it. I dont feel comfortable...	purplebutterfly	3	1074	Oct 25, 2006 by twinkie
	A letter to my A (Preview) Hi All, My A and I had a wonderful fun time planned Saturday night, we went to see X-Treme fights, which I very much enjoy. Somehow it turned all wrong, I became what I thought was angry and left and went to the car and we went home. I said hurtful things and it has taken me two days to figure ou...	marmare	4	510	Oct 25, 2006 by Dolphin123
	Always wondering, always worrying.. (Preview) My A has gone away for a few days with a couple guys, who I know will be drinking, will I ever stop thinking the worst?? I feel it will truly be a miracle if he comes back sober. While I'm develeping an ulcer..., please pray for us. Love TLC	TLC2	7	408	Oct 25, 2006 by hersh
	selfishness (Preview) It never ceases to amaze me-the level of selfishness an a has. My ah has been crazy off and on about him having to get rid of his stuff to bring in some money so we can pay for a lawyer for this latest bout with the law. I am BROKE!!! I can't get another loan b/c of debt to income ratio--not t...	hudsond	2	385	Oct 25, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Intencity of Addiction (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) In talking with my grouchy old ASober Father this weekend, he told my AW and I some stories I had never heard. I love my Dad, he is a great guy. He quit drinking on his own for 6 months when he was in his early 30's. He was at his brothers house and was offered a beer....	rtexas	3	467	Oct 25, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Parents United-Power in Numbers (Preview) My husband and I don't always see eye to eye on how to work with our 22 year old alcoholic daughter. (She is 30 plus days sober in a rehab facility, grateful for that!) I lived for 8 years with an A (my daughter's father, go figure) before leaving and marrying my current husband, not an A. I'm further alon...	kabbie	2	451	Oct 25, 2006 by Noni
	My "Favorite Man" Relapses (Preview) OK, those of you who know me know I am "madly in love" with country music star, Keith Urban. LOL He married Nichole Kidman 4 months ago. He just admitted himself (or she admitted him) to rehab again. He's been thru this before. She had him sign a pre-nup about his drug and alc...	Becky1	5	672	Oct 25, 2006 by Rita G
	can we also have addictive behaviors (Preview) i guess i am just feeling condemnee ; i just can't stop stuffing my face and i am always feeling like things will never get better	raechill	4	420	Oct 25, 2006 by hudsond
	Is it by chance... (Preview) (((((Everyone))))) Is it by chance that my work has allowed me to make my recovery almost a full time job for the past 8 months? Is it by chance that when my AW is trying to tell me on the phone that I am being a bad father and husband that I just so happen to be at my grandparents gravesite reading the smal...	rtexas	7	476	Oct 25, 2006 by hersh
	Saying it "mean"... (Preview) I have considered the slogan, "Say what you mean, but don't say it mean." Aside from the fact that I have difficulty with the incorrect grammar of that one, I wonder; why can't we say it "mean?" If I were not angry at the time, I would say nothing at all. This slogan encourages us to stifle any anger we may fe...	Diva	15	1223	Oct 25, 2006 by athena12
	FEELING SAD (Preview) Hi to all, Yes im feeling sad,but not sure how im supposed to be. H and myself been apart(my choice) since may,due to me throwing him out ,since then he has had to live in a salvation army refuge due to having nowhere to go. Over the last month there has been a vast improvement in him ,finding him a goo...	ollie	5	359	Oct 25, 2006 by ollie
	Thumbs Up Day (Preview) Hopefully I am finally seeing some success. My 13 year old son has been going through quite a difficult period in his life. He has caused some very dire consequences for himself and yet I am fortunate to have the insight of realizing how this disease does affect the family through it's man...	Cilla	3	356	Oct 25, 2006 by Karilynn
	Housewarming Party without a House (Preview) Ever hear of a housewarming party without a House - Well that's what I'm doing!!! - I am living the "Fake it til ya make it" in every bit of my life. As some you may know it has been a tough few months for us, with our daughter Ashley, I have had some health problems and having trouble diagnosing th...	Rita G	6	484	Oct 25, 2006 by Karilynn
	I want it to just be over (Preview) I am so very hurt,irate,and confused. I do not know what I want anymore. I am tired of my life always being so challenging. I cannot form lasting relationships with anyone, not even with alanoners. I am scared I will be let down once again, and I don't think I could bare another let down. I do not even have a...	Lauren ashley	11	649	Oct 25, 2006 by Diva
	what a long couple of weeks (Preview) it has been a while since i posted.but on oct 8 i went on my cruise with my mother in law for 8 days,it was so much fun looking forward to going again..we got home from our cruise on sunday oct 15 during our cruise and our ride back home from miami my mother had talked to my father in law a few times to see how he wa...	bev	9	432	Oct 25, 2006 by athena12
	responding instead of reacting (Preview) Hi Everyone, I have learned in the past week that I need to try to respond rather than react to myA. I have been confused with detatchment and boundary setting in the last while. I have been unwittingly "reacting" to his behaviour and thought I was, in doing so, making my...	annmarie	4	527	Oct 25, 2006 by annmarie
	(c: (Preview) did something for me!!! My doctor friend invited me to his party with lotsa his friends up in the "city." I asked Raini, my daughter to go with me. It was fancy shmancy. I did not really know this. lol I had to drive to the train station, sit in a train for like almost 3 hours. Ride up was pretty....	debilyn	10	457	Oct 24, 2006 by Hopefloats
	Lost my Mr. Chieferoni. (Preview) Subject: [Cat-A-List] My horse with wings, has flown away Went to feed and Chief, my appy/paint was down. horrible. send message to my animal groups. this is a sad story. but part of it all. thank you for your loving thoughts. NO question, I could feel it. All of a sudd...	debilyn	15	617	Oct 24, 2006 by Hopefloats
	Debilyn, are you ok? (Preview) Sure would love to hear from you. I know you are going through a really hard time right now. Don't forget that we are here for you, and love you very much! I read your post about Chief, and cried for you. My horse is 18 and I know the day will come sooner than I like to think, I also have a cat who is 14. Picture C...	TLC2	1	362	Oct 24, 2006 by Hopefloats
	Lyrics that touched me (Preview) Just wanted to share a song that touched me ... not quite the impact of hearing it but close. Sorry for the reference to a particular HP, please replace with your preference. The whole CD this is on sounds like a sound track to my life for the last year, and it's kept me sane for about the same amount...	Jennifer	2	390	Oct 24, 2006 by Hopefloats
	I learned something new last night.. (Preview) Today is a new day and I will thank my HP for that.. I have been struggling with this seperation with days of feeling I can not do this.. My husband is still living in the camper and has been sober 6 weeks with the exception of the one night he drank on the anniversery of his mothers death. I have been real...	Tammy	5	453	Oct 24, 2006 by hersh
	Then the tears come (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) I have never been an emotional person, that was reserved strictly for my mother. My ASober Dad came from a family of all boys, and my grandmother (who I loved so much) was tougher than anyone I have ever known. All 5'2" and 100 pounds of her. Nobody that I grew up with p...	rtexas	18	700	Oct 24, 2006 by hersh
	No war tonight so far... (Preview) (((((Everyone))))) I have read every post and every reply in gathering up the strength to meet my AW to pick up my son today. She is picking him up from school and I am getting him at 6:00 when I get off. I am glad they have some time together each day. Today she is still upset about the si...	rtexas	8	585	Oct 24, 2006 by Jennifer
	His latest bomb (Preview) Well, I came back from my trip. My AHsober called at first making small talk, asking me how my team did, how was my friend, did I hear from the boys. And then he tells me he put earnest money down on a trailer and land. It is a great deal he says, it is a divorce settlement and its cheap and the only thing wrong is...	nmike	2	499	Oct 24, 2006 by carolinagirl
	Update (Preview) The A has been coming over and staying on weekends and then staying at friends houses during the week that are closer to his work. Here's my problem. I feel as though I am getting sucked back in. I am starting to think in terms of "we" instead of "me". I am relishing all the love a...	carolinagirl	2	362	Oct 24, 2006 by Rita G
	Never underestimate.... (Preview) .... the power of your prayers! This has been the hardest day of my life. This part of it is over, and I know that I can deal with whatever comes next. (HP help me if it is like this again...) I am so grateful for your support I almost burst into tears when I saw the messa...	rtexas	4	459	Oct 24, 2006 by hersh
	Saying it-------MEAN (Preview) Most of the time when I am trying to communicate something to my A son I feel like I cannot do it without sounding mean and controlling. I try to say it without sounding like that but as I hear myself, it does sound like I am angry. I guess maybe I am angry at him most of the time. It has to do alot with expectatio...	Gailey	5	527	Oct 24, 2006 by abbyal
	shame on Fisher Price (Preview) Press her magical wand to the star necklace, and Fairy Wishes Dora seems to come alive! Her face will change expressions; she can blink her eyes, smile, look surprised, sing and make wishes. She even sings the Wishing Fairy song! Dressed in her beautiful fairy gown, sparkly wing...	Gailey	8	597	Oct 24, 2006 by Cilla
	some poems (Preview) Life Through My Eyes In my life I have only known nothing but lies In my own little world with my own little eyes Where there in no sadness and I can hear no cries I am sad but cannot cry My tears have long been dry I cannot fill a heart that was never whole I also am dead inside And hav...	Lauren ashley	2	339	Oct 24, 2006 by just me
	What do I say to this? (Preview) I have finally calemd down to be able to talk to my A who is current;y in rehab He keeps bringing up the "Don't hate me, hate the disease" trying to make me not despise him for his behavior.All that I have been able to say back is that he has had a choce to drink or stay sober and he chose to drink and do horrible t...	Mindy	7	544	Oct 24, 2006 by Rita G
	Letter To My Father (Preview) so most of you know my story, the ups, downs, inbetweens, etc, etc. well i have finally decided to get it all out. i'm starting a book. i don't have much time to write, but i've found myself writing furiously every second i have a chance. the book has started out as a letter to my father, its got a lot of stuff...	Miranda	4	469	Oct 24, 2006 by Maria123
	Family members can't control a loved one's addiction (Preview) One of the truths about chemical dependency is that no person drinks or uses drugs in a vacuum. Relatives easily find themselves drawn into a maelstrom of anxiety over a family member's chemical use, and their sincere efforts to arrest the problem may only deepen it. Judy's story off...	Phil	3	527	Oct 24, 2006 by Gailey
	to rtexas (Preview) Some people may think it's easier to live without the alcoholic in their lives but it's not necessarily like that. Sometimes it's just as hard to live without them, I think. But, where did I read this, which is harder - the pain of living with an alcoholic or the pain of living without them? And I th...	jaja	2	347	Oct 23, 2006 by rtexas
	Feeling better (Preview) Since	jaja	1	323	Oct 23, 2006 by drucilla06
	GRIEVING MY MOTHER (Preview) It has been a week and a half since my mother died and I can hardly let myself think about it let alone, feel anything besides numbness. I know in many ways I lost her a long time ago, first to my father's alcoholism and then to her severe depression that never left her for the rest o...	athena12	6	547	Oct 23, 2006 by Noni
	Need Help dealing with brother (Preview) Hi. I need help dealing with my brother. He is an alcoholic and a gambling addict. He is 33 years old. What I need help with today is that he is threatening me with suicide unless I give him money. I am wavering and may give it to him. So here's the background. ...	SusanP	9	595	Oct 23, 2006 by Noni
	THANKS TO ALL WHO RESPONDED-THE SUPPORT REALLY HELPS (Preview) Dear Fellow Alanoner Friends, Please know that am grateful to all who responded about the recent untimely death of my mother. I think most of you would have liked my Mom. She never went into recovery but in many ways she was a natural a...	athena12	2	428	Oct 23, 2006 by Karilynn
	Catch up (Preview) Wow--I have been in these rooms for three months. What a crazy three months. Thanks for being there. I bottommed out when my A lost it on my 19 year old. He went to rehab. He got out. He lapsed a little several times. We are working through paranoia and he is...	curious	3	381	Oct 23, 2006 by irish54
	Safe Places (Preview) ((MIP family)) Thanks to all of you that this is a safe place - a place that I can say what I think and feel without ever being judged - Thank you so very much. I can't say it to my beautiful step-daughter, Ashley, because I have to take care of me. I can't have any contact with her so I'll just have t...	Rita G	7	382	Oct 23, 2006 by kabbie
	The 3 Cs (Preview) I had a real "aha" moment this weekend, listening to a recovering A. He did 28 days of inpatient rehab, left the facility, hit the first bar he could find, and ended up in the emergency room the following day after his release with an above 4.0 alc level..it's a miracle he survived. He's now over a year s...	kabbie	2	417	Oct 23, 2006 by Rita G
	Using slogans against me? (Preview) Hello ((Everyone)) Perhaps I should say using slogans against himself, I am just allowing it to affect me. My A has been through treatment after treatment since teen years. Sometimes I allow myself to forget the disease can take someting good like the slogans and twist them for his own purposes....	Jennifer	5	510	Oct 23, 2006 by rtexas
	how to handle this (Preview) Hi everyone, Thanks to everyone who helped me through my anger episode last week. I followed your advice and went to a meeting yesterday evening. It was extremely helpful, and I'm arranging to get to another one this evening. I had been slipping a lot on little things lately and needed to harness m...	annmarie	3	362	Oct 23, 2006 by Cilla
	My A left today. (Preview) I said goodbye to my A today. After 7 years of our roller coaster ride, moving in moving out, thinking he would change, trying to accept the addiction, and finally knowing things will NEVER change unless I do. So I did. I gave him the ultimate choice of a life as an addict... or a life with me after...	kicky	9	475	Oct 23, 2006 by Rita G
	MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS AGREED TO EUTHANIZE MY MOTHER (Preview) Let me clarify my previous postings. My mother was euthanized at a Catholic hospice. Less than one week after her cancer diagnosis. All treatment and food were withheld from her. My mother was not asked or given a choice about this. I was carrying on like Shirley M...	athena12	9	873	Oct 23, 2006 by Rita G
	Today is a new day (Preview) (((((((((Everyone)))))))))) Thank you all for your support yesterday. I am trying to live in the moment right now, but last night was a lulu. I don't have but a second, but I just wanted to say thank you so much. If you ever wondered if your posts and your support mean anything....	rtexas	7	524	Oct 23, 2006 by Rita G
	Daughter in rehab, what next? (Preview) I'm new to the message board, and fairly new to Alanon. My 22 year old daughter has been struggling with alcohol and cocaine use for the past few years. She is now into her 3rd week of voluntary inpatient rehab, following a black out, horrific car accident, and 2nd DUI. (No one was injured,...	kabbie	6	540	Oct 23, 2006 by kabbie
	thanksgiving plans (Preview) I am seriously thinking about doing a double take on my thanksgiving plans. The As brother is around and will have no place else to go. He and his brother normally smoke tons of marjuana and get stoned any holiday. They are cooked for by their mother. I don't much want to fil...	maresie2	5	341	Oct 23, 2006 by Karilynn
	rtexas, please report in :) (Preview) retexas, Just wanted to check and see how you are doing today. Wishing you strength, Christy	Christy	9	480	Oct 23, 2006 by annmarie
	Does DWI show up in a background check? (Preview) AH had one four years ago, new job offer requires background check. Anybody in the know want to share?? Thanks. evey	evey	3	866	Oct 23, 2006 by isabela40
	Following Alanon with Compassion (Preview) Hello Friends, Needing to share a little this Sunday Morning.....yesterday, Chuck called about 8:30 am and asked me to come and follow him to take his truck to his dads and take him to detox. I thought about it for awhile and said, ok....so went.....it was a very hard thing to do but I was thinking, i...	Andrea12	7	1001	Oct 22, 2006 by maresie2
	Well... she's moving out right now (Preview) (((((Everyone))))) For those who don't know, my AW and I have had a real rough time of it. Relationship really suffering and it came to a head for me on the 9th. I told her I really can't live this way any more and if she doesn't commit to a program to try and get sober that we needed to make arr...	rtexas	14	630	Oct 22, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Now he recovers!!! (Preview) Hello everyone. Recently I started back to the local meetings in this area. However I am still plagued by the decision I have made to divorce my A/addict. ( just moved here to finish degree, commute was too expensive). Background - We went throught the drinking 10 years ago, I...	kidsmom	6	486	Oct 22, 2006 by Tiger2006
	"How long do I have to be good" (Preview) So I'm on the phone with my A last night and talking about him getting a place to stay, paying bills, etc. and he says I don't want to get a place...how long do I have to be good before I come home! This really pissed me off, I guess the idea of being a foregone conclusion (of course I'm going to ta...	carolinagirl	3	955	Oct 22, 2006 by Karilynn
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.