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My A has gone away for a few days with a couple guys, who I know will be drinking, will I ever stop thinking the worst?? I feel it will truly be a miracle if he comes back sober. While I'm develeping an ulcer..., please pray for us. Love TLC
Such a selfish illness, alcoholism. Trust is so compromised. I'm sorry that you feel all that. I go back and forth between sleepless worry and "who gives a ...". Ha! Neither feels good. Are you seeing a medical doctor? Taking a good vitamin? Take care of yourself. Kabbie
I know what you mean! This past weekend my AH spent most of it with an old using/drinking buddy. The buddy's wife was out of town and he wanted my AH around so he wouldn't be by himself and so "crazy". While I was glad he was trying to make sure he stayed sober I just kept thinking well what if one goes "crazy" will the other follow and sobriety for both of them be gone. I was trying so hard not to worry and keep myself busy, but man those thoughts can really get a hold of us can't they.
I will pray for you and your husband. Good luck. Try to keep yourself busy and do something for you.
I don't know if the "worry" feelings go away. I do know the more involved I became in my own life, the more I felt as if I would be okay. And that things would be okay. I felt, in other words, that I didn't have to "fix" or "manage." I became able to focus on me.
I understand the pain of "Oh God, Oh God, Oh God..." It makes detachment, easy does it, all that nonsense so much harder, doesn't it? For me, the solution was getting involved with al anon, with the community. Going to more meetings. All that good garbage.
And reaching out. You're doing a superb part there.
My struggle (my ulcer) comes from worrying about what I "know" she will do. Is that crazy? Why should I fret over a forgone conclusion? LOL
I am hoping my acceptance that it's none of my business will settle my stomac. It has been easier to do with her not at home, but I still do it. I hope you can find some peace with this so your ulcer doesn't take a beating!
Take care of you!
__________________
"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
You will stop thinking the worst....it will take time and work on your part. I sometimes slip and start thinking the worse and then repeat those words....Let Go, Let God....it seems to help me when I freak myself out. Be gentle with yourself. Hugs Mary
Thank-you for your quick responces, and your prayers. I've got to remember the 3 C's first of all, and it's not going to make one bit of difference if I sit here and worry all the time he's gone! He'll do what he's gonna do, and that's it.
I am trying to 'Turn it over to HP',but being as I am, I feel so out of control.., when I realize I was never in control in the 1st place!
I guess I'm gonna have to work on my disease while he's gone. What will be, will be.. but I guess I'll never give up hoping. He is the 'love of my life', and I still love him whether he can beat this disease or not. I'm really going to concentrate on staying as cool as I can, no matter what happens, gotta stop obsessing about him, and concentrate on me, turn it all over to our HP's. Funny how fast I can slip in my program, really have to work on that!
Thanks for 'being there' for me, my friends, with Love, TLC
I know the panic feeling. I'm sorry. I have been telling myself, "you are safe, you are safe." You do not have any control, but yes, like others said above, keeping busy is THE KEY!!!! You have to not dwell on when he'll be home, what condition he'll be in, etc. - go do something preferably with people!!! Meetings are great, and I have made so many wonderful friends there that are there at the drop of a hat when I need them...
