Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Well, I keep feeling different about being alone now that my A moved out. He feels like I am pushing our relationship away. Maybe I am. Maybe I am learning to lean more on myself and especially God now that I do not have the chaos and 2 walking time bombs living under the same roof. Sometimes I wonder, eve...

kitty · kitty

Sick how I wake up crying & won't talk or reach out to anyone. It is most often when I am the worst off, depression wise, that I won't utter a word to anyone, when I need to the most. That is part of the nature of depression - isolating, desperately, alone. I love this Board & encourage us...

still searching · still searching

Hi everyone, I am glad to have found this board. My husband is a alcoholic and I certainly have seen the progression over the last bouple of years. I think the last year or so it has been progressing quickly. He now drinks every day and starts early in the morning on his off days, drinking straight whisk...

Lauren ashley · Lauren ashley

I wrote these poems after coming back from this retreat. It was my spiritual awakening so to speak. I am enlightened and the speaker told me what I needed to hear and I am grateful for that and being able to go..... Here are the poems Awakening from the dark I just want you to see my dreams today They are wha...

Fifi · Fifi

Found this on another website and it spoke loudly to me...thought I'd share it. Love, Fifi February 21, 2007 Choosing Not To Be A Target Emotional Attacks Hurtful confrontations often leave us feeling drained and confused. When someone attacks us emotionally, we may wonder what we did t...

QOD · QOD

I am still struggling w/the whole detachment thing. All through this ordeal w/my AH, I have concentrated on just getting through....surviving each day. I have worked so hard to Let Go and Let God. He did his thing and I did mine w/the kids. Now that he is gone, it is like I am missing that part of my l...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello Everyone, My vision has gone on vacation again. I wish I could keep up with the posts, it's just too painful. I hope you all are well and I will catch up as soon as I can. Jennifer

jewely · jewely

i heard a psychiatrist say........., ''it is not the alcohol that causes these people to murder, raped, beat, molestand commit crimes. it is what is inside of themselves that causes this behavior.'' talked to my brother tonight, and, he asked, ''how do you handle your hu...

Rora · Rora

I am struggling today with keeping my mouth shut. I feel angry at my AH. Even though he's not drinking since October. I am tense and irritable when he is around me. He is disengaged from me and that's as hurtful to me as if he were spewing out insults. He wakes up. Doesn't say anything to me o...

Newme · Newme

Hiya roomies,I am finally starting to live and let live…

I just came back from a lovely meeting, one of the sweetest old timers was sharing of letting live…I learned to don’t use the word "should" …when I say you should do this or that…the message I pass on is that they are not good enough as...

maria13 · maria13

Hi everyone , i walked out on my husband of 15 years in october he had a bad alcohol problem and eventually after many years of mental abuse he turned violent , i left for my own sanity and my two kids sake he has begged me to give him another chance but i cant , i declared myself homeless with the council and a...

jrtjosey · jrtjosey

I put myself out there on Match.com looking for someone to have as a good, casual relationship, to start with because I was really feeling left out with friends being the only one on my own. It would be nice to have someone to take to cook outs and stuff like that. I feel like such a fifth wheel otherwise....

thumper · thumper

New here and so many questions and worries. My husband admitted to being an alcoholic (with no provacation on my part) three weeks ago and has been going to AA meetings ever since. He hasn't drank as far as I'm aware and I truly believe he did this for himself, not for me or our children. This is th...

evey · evey

Howdy, Just an update, my Ah is still here. He will not leave. His parents will not let him stay with them( how convenient).Quite frankly I think letting him so I could pull my end together would be beneficial to everyone, including him. Contacted a lawyer, told me not to leave if I felt "sa...

QOD · QOD

If you read my post from yesterday and last week....here is the latest: My AH did leave yesterday. He was gone by the time I got off of work @ 4:00. He loaded up his clothes, put his car on his trailer and hooked that to his truck and off he went. He got my yard done, finished up some projects around my house...

maire rua · maire rua

Hi all, yes I am expected to stick my head in the alcoholic sandbox again, last saturday, my youngest son got into an altercation with another boy and bloodied his nose after being hit in the stomach. No not the end of it, the boy's parents are baying for more blood, and are preparing to make this a who...

fozzie · fozzie

I was doing well not too long ago - then we had the big mess-up at my parents' house two weeks ago when they saw my husband staggering around their kitchen drunk on a Sunday morning. The outcome was a lot of "talks" that I probably should never have initiated, because frankly, I don'...

Gailey · Gailey

Let me first begin by saying my husband is not an A. I have been reading alot of posts today about wives living with a sober A. I am not living with a sober A but I feel I need to apply the same principals to my marriage. We are empty nesters and my oldest son is the A that has gotten the focus the past year. This se...

Diva · Diva

For as many years as I can remember, I have wanted a Mustang. The car, not the horse....Well, today I went out and bought myself a gorgeous dark metallic blue one with two wide white stripes all the way up the trunk lid, over the top, and down the hood. THis is a classy machine. I spent my own money. Didn'...

Fifi · Fifi

hi all i know i have not been posting much and i miss you all the times i am here and respond and read have continued to help me on my healing path i have so many thing to share in a day...so many questions... but i don't come here and start a topic. partly because my boyfriend is home a lot and i don't have much pr...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Being Right Recovery is not about being right; it's about allowing ourselves to be who we are and accepting others as they are. That concept can be difficult for many of us if we have lived in systems that functioned on the "right/wrong" justice scale. The person who was right was okay;...

lilms · lilms

Okay, have gone from needing anger management skills to pure frustration, loss (of what I am not sure yet) and nausea. And I don't even get the drunk to go with it. At least I get to stay in my home for now. Altho at the moment a week away sounds good. Need to get a hold of the boss and see how soon I can a...

lilms · lilms

((((Everyone))))) Our A got herself evicted. Not sure exactly what happened. Have heard two versions. She was housesitting up until today apparantly. Her Mom said last week that she may need to stay here for a bit. I told her to let me know when that would be happening and I would be elsewhere. He...

Rora · Rora

I've heard a few times, that if your A is sober, then it's okay to leave the kid (s) with him, so I could get to a meeting and have ME time, etc. Yesterday, after working all day, I called on the way home from work to see how my non-drinking AH was and my 2 year old son. There was no answer. Called back. N...

Newme · Newme

Hello to all of you…Hubby came back home late last night & couldn’t keep his word once more…he forgot his keys so he woke me up @ 1:30 am…I opened the door a little bit & saw him standing back to the wall with his head down… I knew how guilty he feels. I left to the room without any eye contact or a singl...

jewely · jewely

i have been wondering........, WHY? why is it all about them [alcoholics] or should i ask, why do we let it be all about them? i know they are sick. but, that isn't an excuse to ''do unto others what they would never do unto themselves''. when i was a girl, i and two of my sisters was m...

Becky1 · Becky1

Well, it is Monday afternoon 3:30. Still no word from hubby. And I will be darned if I will call him. He told me not to, and I ALWAYS do what he says....yeah, right. Anyway, I am still breathing. Heart hurts, but I made it thru the day at work without incident. He has been gone since I got home Sat. after...

artygirl · artygirl

Hello everyone! Although I haven't posted in a really long time, I've been here often, mostly just reading. I don't have any contact at all with my soon-to-be ex-AH. My divorce will be final in about 3 or 4 weeks. He chose alcohol and cocaine over our life together. I left him in September. It...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Hello everyone. I know it has been a while since I have posted. It was not intentional. I lost access to my internet, and now that I am back on I am very happy. I have much to tell. My A has had to move out and is staying in a hotel down the street so it gives me a lot more space, but I really miss having someone here...

melamom815 · melamom815

My hub called to say he wants to be sober. I say 'Good for you' and he asked me if that was all I had to say. I asked him what else he wanted me to say and he asked for me to help him not drink. He wants me to come home and sit with him, not let him buy beer, and make sure he doesn't get too sick. He sa...

nycbt · nycbt

Hi Everyone I haven't been on in a while. For past two weeks my father-in-law was in the hospital. I was going the hospital all the time. On Tuesday my father-in-law died. Today was the wake the funeral.

evey · evey

http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/CollegeAndFamily/SuddenlySingle/WhenExHusbandsGetAlimony.aspx-- Edited by evey at 11:23, 2007-02-17

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Hello all. Thanks for all the supportive comments to my last post. I woke up at 3am, called my A to say hello. He was fine, just woke him up. He had left a message last night for me to call after I went to bed, so I returned it today. I still love the man. He is here right now. I left him to the living room (finally h...

serendipity · serendipity

my ex ah has been trying to start with me since valentines day when he tried to kiss me and i turned my head. i have been trying to be divorced since last march. i have an idiot for a lawyer who always has an excuse as to why things haven't progressed. meanwhile i have this crazy,although sober, husban...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

AH had the tax return in his account, I told him I wanted half of it. He had to agree I was entitled to it, but he sure wasn't happy about it. Had to be persitant in getting a check from him. He wanted me to account for the money I requested. I resented it, but I did it anyway. The truth is, I need more tha...

Rita G · Rita G

Happy Mardi Gras - from Southwest Louisiana - I looked for an emoticon that was in the likeness of "Beads" but couldn't find one - so can't have a virtual parade to "Throw me somethin' Mister" or share a piece of "King Cake" - If you get the baby, you have to...

jewely · jewely

a typical conversation with my husband................., me: ''oh look honey it's green.'' husband: ''uhhh no......, i really don't think so . it looks green to me.'' me: ''are you sure? i could have sworn it was green.'' husband...

heartless39470 · heartless39470

Hello, Yes, I am back, I need to start from day one again. Please some one lead me to the examples of detachment. Thanks, Heartless

QOD · QOD

My AH decided last night that he was going to leave. And not just leave but leave TOWN. He is thinking about moving to Arkansas (his sister lives there) or Kentucky (his dad lives there). He is planning on being gone today by the time I get home from work. All of this came about b/c he did some work around...

evey · evey

Hi "Everyone", My situation with my AH has gotten worse and I am divorcing him. If I see a lawyer and get legally separated can I make him leave? I have just had it. Last night he was stuck in a snow bank and I went to help him(yes, I know I should have left him there) and he was stewed. He did not eve...

gimmpy · gimmpy

I'm tired and trying to figure if I have reached a point of letting go or shutting down. I grew up in an alcoholic home and thought I would do a much better job at this parenting stuff. the issue now is my oldest daughter. I know she is drinking and using, not sure to what extend..She has pretty much tune...

rmazi2 · rmazi2

Hello everyone, I just wanted to introduce myself and ask a few questions. I grew up with an alcoholic father. He hit my mom; they got divorced. I haven't talked to my father in 5 years because he got himself a new family and completely dropped ours. I recently started looking up the effects of grow...

Becky1 · Becky1

Jan. 31 was my AH's 50th birthday, so I planned some special things for him. Needless to say, all that got thrown in the muck and mire of alcoholism, and things went from bad to worse. We didn't speak for days afterward. One of the gifts I got him was for a Riverboat Dinner Cruise, and I upgraded...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I went to the bingo/spaghetti night at the local synagogue (whoda thought that I'd ever set foot back in the synagogue?!

) Anyway, this is what I've realized at the end of the night: I blamed the synagogue for years that my father didn't stop drinking. I was certain that the me...

Maria123 · Maria123

I got this poem from one of my very bestest friends and it's framed and on my livingroom wall so I can remind myself daily. They may see the good you do as self serving. Continue to do good. They may see your generosity as grandstanding Continue to be generous. They may see your warm and caring nature a...

programgirl · programgirl

hey there, I have been an off again and on again here when I needed a little extra and not getting it from live real meetings. But it seems that I also have had a hard time staying connected. I just moved and am using this as a great new opportunity to find a new group and get back at it. well geographical cure...

Jeff Reynolds · Jeff Reynolds

My 24 year old daughter (A) can be described like the literature says, "Higher functioning, treatment resistant, relapse-prone with Axis I & II disorders." If you've got one that responds to the "educational" approach, then you are fortunate. We do not. Entering Y...

Barbs45 · Barbs45

Hi all, Sorry to touch this subject again. Can anyone identify with me, I really am confused with this one. The alcoholic who is a child molester, that must be the alcoholics worst ever nightmare, but not as bad as it is for their victim. The question is are they child molesters and that way inclined, o...

Newme · Newme

Dear roomies, I am so happy today...since coming to alanon I have stopped enabling my dad financially...we lost contact for a few months...he called me yesterday saying that he loves me and he is looking for a job...it was so nice to hear his voice again, I just want to pray more and more for him to find hi...

ShelBell · ShelBell

Important life lessons:

Lesson 1: A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor....

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((((Family))))))), Came across this quote: "We don't stop playing because we get old, we get old because we stop playing." Herbert Spencer Not a clue who this person is. But the message is clear: keep the youngster inside of you alive! HAVE FUN! We've gone through so mu...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I don't know if this fits into the confines of this web page, but I am currently applying for a nursing program, and an organization here will give me $$$$ scholarship as soon as the application is completed. I need three interviews from RNs, nurse practitioners, LPN's ect... If you want to he...

hudsond · hudsond

I broke my step-daughter's heart yesterday. Her mother called her on Valentine's Day. This is the first time she has called her in a year. We saw her after Christmas, but haven't heard from her since--even though she is living with other step-daughter and has supposedly been sober-...

donewithitallandhappy · donewithitallandhappy

My therapist helped me understand what addiction is not. I have very rare neurological disease that my neuros started giving me anti-convulsants for last year. After a few months I decided to stop taking them because they made me so sleepy. But very few people can just stop taking an anti-convulsant...

Newme · Newme

My dear roomies, I walked into alanon rooms 6 months ago, my life was so foggy, I couldnt see things clearly but I was sure I need help...I couldnt do it on my own anymore and God bless the lady who introduced my broken heart to this great fellowship. The first few posts that I left I didnt know many of you but...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I don't know what happened, nothing exactly, just minding my own business, thinking about some things...past things...not so good things...all the things I never forgave or forgot. Then I combined those with new not so good things...and BOOM! Only I didn't go boom I just held it all in and g...

lylaanju · lylaanju

is to want to believe my AH when every week or two he says, he's sick and tired of being sick and tired, he needs help, he has to stop, etc. How do I have faith in him, keep the hope but then not completely be fooled by this disease and the promises? He's not a bad guy, he's just very sick and gett...

Lindy · Lindy

I haven't been on this board for a long, long time mostly because I feel like I don't need it quite so much. I left my AH and got my own apartment. Before I left him, I was working three jobs to get enough money to move out. With the help of a very good friend and a little extra money, I was able to move ou...

Akasha · Akasha

I feel like I'm getting ready to recite something my mother used to say to me all the time... There was a little girl who had a little curl... Right in the middle of her forehead; And when she was good, She was very, very good... But when she was bad...? She was horrid! Anyway....Things are going good....

Jill · Jill

It’s Friday evening of a 3 day weekend. When I got home from work, I got a call from AH who was on the commuter train coming home. He didn’t come home by when I calculated he would (based on when he called). Another hour went by, and I started to what-if. The panic crawled around the edges of my brain. Then I d...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	feels like major decision time---HELP (Preview) Well, I keep feeling different about being alone now that my A moved out. He feels like I am pushing our relationship away. Maybe I am. Maybe I am learning to lean more on myself and especially God now that I do not have the chaos and 2 walking time bombs living under the same roof. Sometimes I wonder, eve...	hippietrippiechick	1	466	Feb 23, 2007 by AndiLynn
	I woke up crying - depression & isolating (Preview) Sick how I wake up crying & won't talk or reach out to anyone. It is most often when I am the worst off, depression wise, that I won't utter a word to anyone, when I need to the most. That is part of the nature of depression - isolating, desperately, alone. I love this Board & encourage us...	kitty	10	1180	Feb 22, 2007 by Maria123
	new here (Preview) Hi everyone, I am glad to have found this board. My husband is a alcoholic and I certainly have seen the progression over the last bouple of years. I think the last year or so it has been progressing quickly. He now drinks every day and starts early in the morning on his off days, drinking straight whisk...	still searching	6	477	Feb 22, 2007 by Maria123
	I went on an alanon retreat this weekend and it was awesome!!!!!!!!!!! (Preview) I wrote these poems after coming back from this retreat. It was my spiritual awakening so to speak. I am enlightened and the speaker told me what I needed to hear and I am grateful for that and being able to go..... Here are the poems Awakening from the dark I just want you to see my dreams today They are wha...	Lauren ashley	6	587	Feb 22, 2007 by just me
	detachment (Preview) Found this on another website and it spoke loudly to me...thought I'd share it. Love, Fifi February 21, 2007 Choosing Not To Be A Target Emotional Attacks Hurtful confrontations often leave us feeling drained and confused. When someone attacks us emotionally, we may wonder what we did t...	Fifi	3	443	Feb 22, 2007 by aunitedway
	Detaching....still struggling....trying to be strong. (Preview) I am still struggling w/the whole detachment thing. All through this ordeal w/my AH, I have concentrated on just getting through....surviving each day. I have worked so hard to Let Go and Let God. He did his thing and I did mine w/the kids. Now that he is gone, it is like I am missing that part of my l...	QOD	5	600	Feb 22, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Be back asap (Preview) Hello Everyone, My vision has gone on vacation again. I wish I could keep up with the posts, it's just too painful. I hope you all are well and I will catch up as soon as I can. Jennifer	Jennifer	3	505	Feb 22, 2007 by debilyn
	the drinking was never the issue (Preview) i heard a psychiatrist say........., ''it is not the alcohol that causes these people to murder, raped, beat, molestand commit crimes. it is what is inside of themselves that causes this behavior.'' talked to my brother tonight, and, he asked, ''how do you handle your hu...	jewely	3	604	Feb 22, 2007 by debilyn
	Having a hard time with my non-drinking AH (Preview) I am struggling today with keeping my mouth shut. I feel angry at my AH. Even though he's not drinking since October. I am tense and irritable when he is around me. He is disengaged from me and that's as hurtful to me as if he were spewing out insults. He wakes up. Doesn't say anything to me o...	Rora	6	549	Feb 22, 2007 by maresie2
	Live and let live... (Preview) Hiya roomies,I am finally starting to live and let live… I just came back from a lovely meeting, one of the sweetest old timers was sharing of letting live…I learned to don’t use the word "should" …when I say you should do this or that…the message I pass on is that they are not good enough as...	Newme	6	452	Feb 22, 2007 by maresie2
	CAN ANYONE HELP ME? (Preview) Hi everyone , i walked out on my husband of 15 years in october he had a bad alcohol problem and eventually after many years of mental abuse he turned violent , i left for my own sanity and my two kids sake he has begged me to give him another chance but i cant , i declared myself homeless with the council and a...	maria13	16	781	Feb 22, 2007 by maresie2
	omg this is soo funny and scary (Preview) I put myself out there on Match.com looking for someone to have as a good, casual relationship, to start with because I was really feeling left out with friends being the only one on my own. It would be nice to have someone to take to cook outs and stuff like that. I feel like such a fifth wheel otherwise....	jrtjosey	11	990	Feb 21, 2007 by aunitedway
	New here (Preview) New here and so many questions and worries. My husband admitted to being an alcoholic (with no provacation on my part) three weeks ago and has been going to AA meetings ever since. He hasn't drank as far as I'm aware and I truly believe he did this for himself, not for me or our children. This is th...	thumper	10	683	Feb 21, 2007 by maresie2
	day 5 update..he's still here (Preview) Howdy, Just an update, my Ah is still here. He will not leave. His parents will not let him stay with them( how convenient).Quite frankly I think letting him so I could pull my end together would be beneficial to everyone, including him. Contacted a lawyer, told me not to leave if I felt "sa...	evey	6	598	Feb 21, 2007 by evey
	AH IS GONE!!! (Preview) If you read my post from yesterday and last week....here is the latest: My AH did leave yesterday. He was gone by the time I got off of work @ 4:00. He loaded up his clothes, put his car on his trailer and hooked that to his truck and off he went. He got my yard done, finished up some projects around my house...	QOD	9	695	Feb 21, 2007 by maresie2
	Alcoholic sandbox (Preview) Hi all, yes I am expected to stick my head in the alcoholic sandbox again, last saturday, my youngest son got into an altercation with another boy and bloodied his nose after being hit in the stomach. No not the end of it, the boy's parents are baying for more blood, and are preparing to make this a who...	maire rua	4	500	Feb 21, 2007 by maresie2
	How many steps backward can I take???? (Preview) I was doing well not too long ago - then we had the big mess-up at my parents' house two weeks ago when they saw my husband staggering around their kitchen drunk on a Sunday morning. The outcome was a lot of "talks" that I probably should never have initiated, because frankly, I don'...	fozzie	7	607	Feb 21, 2007 by maresie2
	Applying Alanon principals to my non-A husband (Preview) Let me first begin by saying my husband is not an A. I have been reading alot of posts today about wives living with a sober A. I am not living with a sober A but I feel I need to apply the same principals to my marriage. We are empty nesters and my oldest son is the A that has gotten the focus the past year. This se...	Gailey	6	1748	Feb 21, 2007 by maresie2
	As usual, it's all about HIM!!! (Preview) For as many years as I can remember, I have wanted a Mustang. The car, not the horse....Well, today I went out and bought myself a gorgeous dark metallic blue one with two wide white stripes all the way up the trunk lid, over the top, and down the hood. THis is a classy machine. I spent my own money. Didn'...	Diva	19	1094	Feb 21, 2007 by maresie2
	isolating (Preview) hi all i know i have not been posting much and i miss you all the times i am here and respond and read have continued to help me on my healing path i have so many thing to share in a day...so many questions... but i don't come here and start a topic. partly because my boyfriend is home a lot and i don't have much pr...	Fifi	6	584	Feb 21, 2007 by maresie2
	Do you want to be right or happy? (And why can't I be both?) (Preview) Being Right Recovery is not about being right; it's about allowing ourselves to be who we are and accepting others as they are. That concept can be difficult for many of us if we have lived in systems that functioned on the "right/wrong" justice scale. The person who was right was okay;...	Tiger2006	4	588	Feb 21, 2007 by lilms
	Still not happy (Preview) Okay, have gone from needing anger management skills to pure frustration, loss (of what I am not sure yet) and nausea. And I don't even get the drunk to go with it. At least I get to stay in my home for now. Altho at the moment a week away sounds good. Need to get a hold of the boss and see how soon I can a...	lilms	3	443	Feb 21, 2007 by Christy
	I am right but definitely not happy!!! (Preview) ((((Everyone))))) Our A got herself evicted. Not sure exactly what happened. Have heard two versions. She was housesitting up until today apparantly. Her Mom said last week that she may need to stay here for a bit. I told her to let me know when that would be happening and I would be elsewhere. He...	lilms	1	800	Feb 21, 2007 by Diva
	If he's sober he can care for the kids... (Preview) I've heard a few times, that if your A is sober, then it's okay to leave the kid (s) with him, so I could get to a meeting and have ME time, etc. Yesterday, after working all day, I called on the way home from work to see how my non-drinking AH was and my 2 year old son. There was no answer. Called back. N...	Rora	10	692	Feb 21, 2007 by maire rua
	Forgiveness... (Preview) Hello to all of you…Hubby came back home late last night & couldn’t keep his word once more…he forgot his keys so he woke me up @ 1:30 am…I opened the door a little bit & saw him standing back to the wall with his head down… I knew how guilty he feels. I left to the room without any eye contact or a singl...	Newme	2	584	Feb 21, 2007 by kitty
	i have been wondering........, (Preview) i have been wondering........, WHY? why is it all about them [alcoholics] or should i ask, why do we let it be all about them? i know they are sick. but, that isn't an excuse to ''do unto others what they would never do unto themselves''. when i was a girl, i and two of my sisters was m...	jewely	8	607	Feb 21, 2007 by RainyJamie
	Alone Again, Naturally.... (Preview) Well, it is Monday afternoon 3:30. Still no word from hubby. And I will be darned if I will call him. He told me not to, and I ALWAYS do what he says....yeah, right. Anyway, I am still breathing. Heart hurts, but I made it thru the day at work without incident. He has been gone since I got home Sat. after...	Becky1	8	554	Feb 21, 2007 by aunitedway
	Getting better all the time... (Preview) Hello everyone! Although I haven't posted in a really long time, I've been here often, mostly just reading. I don't have any contact at all with my soon-to-be ex-AH. My divorce will be final in about 3 or 4 weeks. He chose alcohol and cocaine over our life together. I left him in September. It...	artygirl	3	539	Feb 20, 2007 by Maria123
	back from being offline for a long time--hope I am still welcome (Preview) Hello everyone. I know it has been a while since I have posted. It was not intentional. I lost access to my internet, and now that I am back on I am very happy. I have much to tell. My A has had to move out and is staying in a hotel down the street so it gives me a lot more space, but I really miss having someone here...	hippietrippiechick	10	662	Feb 20, 2007 by hippietrippiechick
	Letting him go (Preview) My hub called to say he wants to be sober. I say 'Good for you' and he asked me if that was all I had to say. I asked him what else he wanted me to say and he asked for me to help him not drink. He wants me to come home and sit with him, not let him buy beer, and make sure he doesn't get too sick. He sa...	melamom815	5	509	Feb 20, 2007 by mama_nz
	father-in-law died (Preview) Hi Everyone I haven't been on in a while. For past two weeks my father-in-law was in the hospital. I was going the hospital all the time. On Tuesday my father-in-law died. Today was the wake the funeral.	nycbt	18	621	Feb 20, 2007 by lilms
	Good Read for anyone "supporting$" their Alcoholic Spouse (Preview) http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/CollegeAndFamily/SuddenlySingle/WhenExHusbandsGetAlimony.aspx-- Edited by evey at 11:23, 2007-02-17	evey	2	862	Feb 20, 2007 by bobump
	today was well worth it (Preview) Hello all. Thanks for all the supportive comments to my last post. I woke up at 3am, called my A to say hello. He was fine, just woke him up. He had left a message last night for me to call after I went to bed, so I returned it today. I still love the man. He is here right now. I left him to the living room (finally h...	hippietrippiechick	1	504	Feb 20, 2007 by irish54
	just between me and you (Preview) my ex ah has been trying to start with me since valentines day when he tried to kiss me and i turned my head. i have been trying to be divorced since last march. i have an idiot for a lawyer who always has an excuse as to why things haven't progressed. meanwhile i have this crazy,although sober, husban...	serendipity	5	814	Feb 20, 2007 by Lunamoth
	Money Money here we go again (Preview) AH had the tax return in his account, I told him I wanted half of it. He had to agree I was entitled to it, but he sure wasn't happy about it. Had to be persitant in getting a check from him. He wanted me to account for the money I requested. I resented it, but I did it anyway. The truth is, I need more tha...	RainyJamie	3	799	Feb 20, 2007 by maresie2
	Happy Mardi Gras (Preview) Happy Mardi Gras - from Southwest Louisiana - I looked for an emoticon that was in the likeness of "Beads" but couldn't find one - so can't have a virtual parade to "Throw me somethin' Mister" or share a piece of "King Cake" - If you get the baby, you have to...	Rita G	3	513	Feb 20, 2007 by Karilynn
	conversation with my..........., (Preview) a typical conversation with my husband................., me: ''oh look honey it's green.'' husband: ''uhhh no......, i really don't think so . it looks green to me.'' me: ''are you sure? i could have sworn it was green.'' husband...	jewely	11	602	Feb 19, 2007 by nmike
	Please give me examples of Detachment (Preview) Hello, Yes, I am back, I need to start from day one again. Please some one lead me to the examples of detachment. Thanks, Heartless	heartless39470	7	1427	Feb 19, 2007 by Leetle
	AH is leaving town. (Preview) My AH decided last night that he was going to leave. And not just leave but leave TOWN. He is thinking about moving to Arkansas (his sister lives there) or Kentucky (his dad lives there). He is planning on being gone today by the time I get home from work. All of this came about b/c he did some work around...	QOD	4	408	Feb 19, 2007 by Maria123
	How do I get him out? I've hit my bottom... (Preview) Hi "Everyone", My situation with my AH has gotten worse and I am divorcing him. If I see a lawyer and get legally separated can I make him leave? I have just had it. Last night he was stuck in a snow bank and I went to help him(yes, I know I should have left him there) and he was stewed. He did not eve...	evey	11	773	Feb 19, 2007 by maria13
	letting go or indifferent? (Preview) I'm tired and trying to figure if I have reached a point of letting go or shutting down. I grew up in an alcoholic home and thought I would do a much better job at this parenting stuff. the issue now is my oldest daughter. I know she is drinking and using, not sure to what extend..She has pretty much tune...	gimmpy	8	733	Feb 19, 2007 by gimmpy
	Newbie (Preview) Hello everyone, I just wanted to introduce myself and ask a few questions. I grew up with an alcoholic father. He hit my mom; they got divorced. I haven't talked to my father in 5 years because he got himself a new family and completely dropped ours. I recently started looking up the effects of grow...	rmazi2	6	427	Feb 19, 2007 by Rita G
	Can't He Ever Just Be HAPPY? Just ONCE? (Preview) Jan. 31 was my AH's 50th birthday, so I planned some special things for him. Needless to say, all that got thrown in the muck and mire of alcoholism, and things went from bad to worse. We didn't speak for days afterward. One of the gifts I got him was for a Riverboat Dinner Cruise, and I upgraded...	Becky1	10	705	Feb 19, 2007 by Karilynn
	Nobody is safe from the scathings of the disease (Preview) I went to the bingo/spaghetti night at the local synagogue (whoda thought that I'd ever set foot back in the synagogue?! ) Anyway, this is what I've realized at the end of the night: I blamed the synagogue for years that my father didn't stop drinking. I was certain that the me...	Tiger2006	2	634	Feb 19, 2007 by Maria123
	Continue to be ........... (Preview) I got this poem from one of my very bestest friends and it's framed and on my livingroom wall so I can remind myself daily. They may see the good you do as self serving. Continue to do good. They may see your generosity as grandstanding Continue to be generous. They may see your warm and caring nature a...	Maria123	3	537	Feb 19, 2007 by Faith73
	back to square one (Preview) hey there, I have been an off again and on again here when I needed a little extra and not getting it from live real meetings. But it seems that I also have had a hard time staying connected. I just moved and am using this as a great new opportunity to find a new group and get back at it. well geographical cure...	programgirl	3	506	Feb 18, 2007 by programgirl
	The Psychodynamic Approach (Preview) My 24 year old daughter (A) can be described like the literature says, "Higher functioning, treatment resistant, relapse-prone with Axis I & II disorders." If you've got one that responds to the "educational" approach, then you are fortunate. We do not. Entering Y...	Jeff Reynolds	10	682	Feb 18, 2007 by mel123
	Can Anyone Help Me Understand? (Preview) Hi all, Sorry to touch this subject again. Can anyone identify with me, I really am confused with this one. The alcoholic who is a child molester, that must be the alcoholics worst ever nightmare, but not as bad as it is for their victim. The question is are they child molesters and that way inclined, o...	Barbs45	8	857	Feb 18, 2007 by Tiger2006
	Relation with daddy is healing:-) (Preview) Dear roomies, I am so happy today...since coming to alanon I have stopped enabling my dad financially...we lost contact for a few months...he called me yesterday saying that he loves me and he is looking for a job...it was so nice to hear his voice again, I just want to pray more and more for him to find hi...	Newme	1	431	Feb 18, 2007 by Maria123
	How about a little funny? (Preview) Important life lessons: Lesson 1: A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor....	ShelBell	2	577	Feb 18, 2007 by Barbs45
	"Fun" for thought (Preview) (((((((((Family))))))), Came across this quote: "We don't stop playing because we get old, we get old because we stop playing." Herbert Spencer Not a clue who this person is. But the message is clear: keep the youngster inside of you alive! HAVE FUN! We've gone through so mu...	Karilynn	3	517	Feb 18, 2007 by Barbs45
	Anybody here ever an RN? (Preview) I don't know if this fits into the confines of this web page, but I am currently applying for a nursing program, and an organization here will give me $$$$ scholarship as soon as the application is completed. I need three interviews from RNs, nurse practitioners, LPN's ect... If you want to he...	RainyJamie	1	439	Feb 18, 2007 by Barbs45
	broken hearts (Preview) I broke my step-daughter's heart yesterday. Her mother called her on Valentine's Day. This is the first time she has called her in a year. We saw her after Christmas, but haven't heard from her since--even though she is living with other step-daughter and has supposedly been sober-...	hudsond	11	585	Feb 18, 2007 by Karilynn
	What addiction is not (Preview) My therapist helped me understand what addiction is not. I have very rare neurological disease that my neuros started giving me anti-convulsants for last year. After a few months I decided to stop taking them because they made me so sleepy. But very few people can just stop taking an anti-convulsant...	donewithitallandhappy	1	485	Feb 18, 2007 by Karilynn
	Getting there... (Preview) My dear roomies, I walked into alanon rooms 6 months ago, my life was so foggy, I couldnt see things clearly but I was sure I need help...I couldnt do it on my own anymore and God bless the lady who introduced my broken heart to this great fellowship. The first few posts that I left I didnt know many of you but...	Newme	5	506	Feb 17, 2007 by nycbt
	Anger...creeping in...too weak to resist...AAAHHH!!! (Preview) I don't know what happened, nothing exactly, just minding my own business, thinking about some things...past things...not so good things...all the things I never forgave or forgot. Then I combined those with new not so good things...and BOOM! Only I didn't go boom I just held it all in and g...	RainyJamie	10	549	Feb 17, 2007 by Diva
	One of the hardest things (Preview) is to want to believe my AH when every week or two he says, he's sick and tired of being sick and tired, he needs help, he has to stop, etc. How do I have faith in him, keep the hope but then not completely be fooled by this disease and the promises? He's not a bad guy, he's just very sick and gett...	lylaanju	6	578	Feb 17, 2007 by Christy
	I left my AH and am very happy! (Preview) I haven't been on this board for a long, long time mostly because I feel like I don't need it quite so much. I left my AH and got my own apartment. Before I left him, I was working three jobs to get enough money to move out. With the help of a very good friend and a little extra money, I was able to move ou...	Lindy	3	458	Feb 17, 2007 by Maria123
	When things go good..... (Preview) I feel like I'm getting ready to recite something my mother used to say to me all the time... There was a little girl who had a little curl... Right in the middle of her forehead; And when she was good, She was very, very good... But when she was bad...? She was horrid! Anyway....Things are going good....	Akasha	7	532	Feb 17, 2007 by Maria123
	Choices for my weekend (Preview) It’s Friday evening of a 3 day weekend. When I got home from work, I got a call from AH who was on the commuter train coming home. He didn’t come home by when I calculated he would (based on when he called). Another hour went by, and I started to what-if. The panic crawled around the edges of my brain. Then I d...	Jill	3	524	Feb 17, 2007 by Maria123
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.