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I could use some help...my friend is about to celebrate his first anniversary of sobriety and I wanted to do something meaningful. I understand he will be sick of cakes (I'm not completely familiar with the program but he is usually the one who brings cakes to meetings), so is there something else symbolic I can do or give him to mark the occasion? I believe his AA support groups will already be providing him with a Grapevine subscription and a medallion. Thank you so much.
If his group allows it, you could go and watch him get his token. If it's okay with him, give him a card. You could also give a Grapevine subscription to a treatment center in his name. Make a donation to general service office in his name. If nothing else, just tell him you're proud of him. He's commemorating a rather dubios thing, don't forget--that he lost control of his life because he was an alcholic and had to come to grips with how he was his own worst enemy. Oh, and keep working your own program. Our own mental health is key to harmony.
It's so thoughtful of you to help your friend celebrate his first anniversary of sobriety. When my goal is to help someone celebrate I do any one of the following: show up to the celebration (in this case, perhaps attend the open AA meeting where he will be celebrating his anniversary--if he's o.k. with you going and the meeting is open), write a nice card letting him now how proud you are of him, take him out to dinner or do something else fun together that he enjoys.
He's lucky to have such a good friend! I am sure whatever way you come up with to celebrate will be meaningful to him.
This is what someone shared with me in AA, they told me that I shouldn't make out like it is a big deal. This person compared their anniversary date to someone who took medication, would you celebrate someone taking their insulin for a year? To him, AA was his medicine, it's what kept him sober. It was what he was suppose to be doing, what he needed to stay alive.
I can see why you'd want to celebrate this day, it is wonderful. Maybe you could just let him know that you understand that it is truly One Day At a Time. That would be a wonderful gift.
I think it is awesome that you are supporting your friend in recovery.
There are tons of different "gifts" that you can give your friend. You can search the internet for "AA merchandise" and find several web sites that carry books, jewelry, coffee mugs, bags, book covers, T-shirts, serenity prayer crosses, and many other items.
I agree that also a "Happy Birthday" or "Congratulations" card with a heartfelt message supporting your friend's accomplishments would also be a great gift.
Also, Alison - Welcome to the MIP family - glad you are here with us.
Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
I think it's completely appropriate if you also have some sobriety under your belt. Kinda like something you have in common, but if you're not a recovering alcoholic I don't see the point. For instance if my husband was 'in my program' enough to want to celebrate my years of sobriety I think I would be more concerned about his intentions. Why not celebrate ME, rather than my years or year of sobriety. Does that make sense?
I do however think it's a very sweet gesture for you to want to do something for him and you obviously want him to know that he's important, right? Rather than focusing on celebrating the ONE YEAR OF SOBRIETY, I would focus on celebrating HIM. You know, show him you're thinking about him without the YEAY, YOU MADE IT ONE YEAR, kind of thing.
What is really neat is being the one that gets to present that chip. My bf asked me to present his chip last year. At this particular group the birthday people can pick someone ahead of time to present it. I got up and told the group what wisdom he has brought to my life and all the many things I have learned from him. How his program works for him on the outside looking in. I barely got through it without boo-hooing. It won't be the same group this year but I will ask to do it...if no one objects.
Do you have a recovery bookstore nearby? Maybe a book he hasn't read yet or a coffee cup with the recovery symbol on it would be appropriate. My husband just celebrated 6 months and I made up a goodie basket for him. This made him very happy, since he is still eating a ton of sweets.
