i picked up my dad's friend from rehab today. he is the excutor on my dad's will and living in his house till it sells. while he was gone i went to my dad's and started stripping wallpaper, painting, had the auction guys come and take everything i wanted to auction. i also accidently bagged up most of my dad's friend's clothes thinking that they were my dad's and i know some of them were my dad's. so, he came home to some major change. and alot of work to be done. i am so mad still. he didn't "get" it at rehab. he seems to be worse off now than when he went in. still aruging with the priciples of the program. still not surrendering. whatever. that too pisses me off because i know this program works. it has worked for me and countless alcoholics. but mostly i am still pissed off that he has the nerve to continue to lie to me. right to my face about his life, about alcohol and god knows what else. i am sick to death of alcoholics and their versions of the truth. i want him out of my father's house. my dilema is whenever i have done things in anger ( kicking out my ah, not speaking to my family, etc) it doesn't work. i end up eating crow, pulling my foot out of my mouth, apologizing for things that are not my fault and regretting my actions. i don't want to do this to myself. but getting him out means the kids and i can move in and i'm considering taking the house off the market for a year to see if the market improves. give myself a year of stability and then think of what my next move will be. so i suppose i am looking for an excuse to get what i want. i am so mad though and some of it is redirected anger at him. but alot of it is sheer disappointment in yet another man who was supposed to be trustworthy. one who is essencially being paid to look out for my best interests.  just one of those days when i want to curl up into a ball and cry. i don't even feel like trying to apply the princilples that i have learned. i just want to wallow and feel justified. my 8 o'clock meeting can't get here quick enough.....