The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It was a great loving celebration as I got my 28 year chip at my home meeting by the Pacific Ocean with a usual family of about 70-80 members. It's new, never been used and powerful looking and here it is Monday morning and I call the police to attend me at my cousins home so that I can find out if she is alive and safe as the addict in the family turns control over of himself to the drugs. She is safe and I didn't know it because the insanity of the disease is in the lack of communications and not knowing. Other parts in this play are 2600 and 7000 miles away. Talk about powerlessness. We all have long stories and the solutions are not in the story of what was happening then but often in what was not happening then and what I'm doing now. The police had the badges. I didn't have to pull out my chip once.
Made contact with my cousin at where she was and gave her a hug and sat and talked program. She has had a taste of this program but not a good bite of it. Helped her set some guidelines for herself and then left the consequences up to whether she and others follow the guidelines or not. (different consequences eh?) He, the addict has been verbally, mentially, emotionally, spiritually, physically and financially abusive with her. Her part? allow him to do it and give herself reasons why she should. She still is doing it!
So it's up to her to keep herself safe and whether or not the insanity continues in her life. The same thing with all the other players including myself. I have set guidelines for myself and mentioned them to my family. I set what I will do and what I won't and didn't explain why but once. When the time comes we will handle more if all are willing and able to be honest and open, otherwise I am sure that there are fish swimming out in the Pacific Ocean willing to try out my fishing pole.
Trust God. Clean house (mine). Help others after both the others have been done and not before.
I made a hole for mine and put it on my key chain. That way whenever I'm driving, 24 hrs, just gotta take it, make it, fake it 24 hrs at a time.........
I so enjoy reading your posts, your replys to anthers and find it very helpful in my healing process. Though the wounds are deep, and the bandages are fresh, I hope to one day to find peace. Its funny, in one time of my greatest need to talk, it was you that was online, and lucky for me, I do find so much strength in you posts.
It's so hard when you heart aches for someone that has these horrilbe addictions. I have just sat here, did an inventory of the addits in my life, and am shocked.
My father, his family, my siblings, my first two long term relationships were to addicts, now it's my in-laws, and I looked further, too many co-workers. Reminders everywhere.
My brother the one that I used to be closest with is a homeless addict, and I don't mean homeless as in he finds friends to crash out at, he is on the streets. Someone here said when an A gets to their bottom, that is when they get help, but he also said many never do, death is their bottom. This is so sad.
Why, when they get so low, stealing, family breaking up, jail, loss of everthing, hurting others, do they not stop?
Why, when they see what it does to themselves do they not stop?
There are so many programs out there, think I'm reaching out,looking for answers no one can answer, looking for a cure, a miracle, best I can get is hope, but I feel for my brother it is hopeless, and the hurt gets deeper.
Now that I have rambled on, I don't know how to end this.
Oh ya, you said in post,you got new chip, it's not a badge, you have me lost there.
Hmm, on a better note,,,,,,,,,,,, I do enjoy your posts, thank you
Congrats on your chip....Big hugs. I too gain much esh from your post...you are working it..and sharing how it works. Thank you so much for posting...We share the Pacific, but I'm on the other side. The ocean is a great place to meditate and find serenity.Prayers for your cousin and family. your friend in recovery, rosie
WTG Jerry!!! I am so grateful for you and others who not only work the program but continually share the program with others. You are such an inspiration and I give thanks to my HP (God) for allowing a peek into your life through which I can learn.
You must have known I take suggestions. Key chain is the plan!!
Looking into my head...
By the way did you see Daffy anywhere??
(((((hugs)))))
PS...To the rest of the family thanks for the love and support. Eve what I mean't was that I almost let it (having the new shiney brass chip) get to my head and suggest to my ego that now maybe I had some kind of police powers over the addict. Laughable because I know that it won't work...I have tried similar things in the past with my very own alcoholic and none of my tricks ever did anything but backfire. I let the police wear the badges and kept my chip in my pocket. It will go on my key chain. Glad you are still with us. (((((hugs)))))
