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Do you give yourself a chance to have a brighter future?
(Preview)
I was reluctant to admit I was powerless over alcohol, and I forgot that I was not powerless over myself. I had a choice, I could resume in my state of misery, insanity, worry, and sadness, or I could start living again the life I always thought it would be. Alot of us come to Alanon feeling life has deal...
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gardengal
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7
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784
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But How do we really know?
(Preview)
What is the alchoholic and what is just the person, my husband is one year sober now, and I still get played, I'm not reacting not asking why not taking his inventary just wondering what is it, that makes a person act this way, not conveying feelings, dislikes, almost as if an enjoyment is to be had by suf...
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Katy
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7
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656
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I TOLD THE TRUTH (EVENTUALLY)
(Preview)
(((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))))) I done it, I finally told this guy how I feel, In a moment of anger, by text.. After no contact for 9 days from both of us, I saw him going out Sat night, As I was getting dressed to go to my f2f. I had been having a few days where I was under stress, and taking it out on e...
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ally
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10
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778
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it's so sad
(Preview)
the service for the 17 year old who died from an an overdose was today. why do some get a chance and others don't. I am awake again at 3am. My daughter and her friend feel some what guilty since they were there and couldn't help him enough when he stopped breathing. I hope the others get another chance now, b...
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gimmpy
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2
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466
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Need kid advice
(Preview)
Our son leaves for boot camp on July 19 for 22 weeks....his Dad wants to spend time with him....our son doesn't want to hardly be in the same room as him...our son is respectful to him, they chit chat, but he is still mad at his dad for saying all the horriable things he said and did last week to me. Our son fee...
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pabell
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4
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555
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He's home! :)
(Preview)
((((((((Family))))), Hubby is back home from the hospital safe and sound. All went well with the surgery. They removed all the hardware (trust me I made sure) and put a cast on. The cast is a little higher than we thought it would be. We're guessing that the bone fractured a bit when they took the rod...
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Karilynn
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13
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755
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it's ok to cry
(Preview)
It's ok to cry . . . I have been "getting busy" because when I do, I am getting better, right? I have been formulating my gratitude list which is plentiful and that should be helping, right? I have so much to be grateful for, right? Why then was I feeling blue today? There's no rhyme nor reas...
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Maria123
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10
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817
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I lost it
(Preview)
It's been a long time since I last posted. I started going to college and have been so busy with school. My active AH and I got into an argument over the weekend about something very stupid. When we argue, my husband will go for days acting cocky and arrogant and won't speak to me for days. I had gotten v...
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JulieLynn
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5
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654
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Just Down and Dejected...
(Preview)
Please forgive me if I come across as silly or naive - I have had no experience with legal matters before, and am from Ireland so a lot of the terminology is new to me. Anyway - here goes. My husband and I have been married 6 years - he is a binge-drinking alcoholic (meaning he doesn't drink all the time, but w...
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IrishExport
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9
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674
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not sure where I'm at. But glad I'm here any way.
(Preview)
It used to be that I didn't have any feelings. I'd anethetised them all because of how emotional living in the alcholic insanity was. Then I found al anon. And I found every single one of my feelings. And I thought I was going to die. So when my Buddist sponsor proposed to me that I didn't have to feel som...
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Tiger2006
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2
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573
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My first time here
(Preview)
I've wanted to join this board many times.Maybe it was denial,shame or fear that kept me from here.I need help in sorting out my anger.I want to understand that it is a disease and not a decision. My fiancee of 6 years was carted of to jail for the third time in 3 years.All d.u.i related.He will more than li...
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Steel Magnolia
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10
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806
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just after he has left
(Preview)
I am having such a hard time....knowing my ex is out there putting on his fake happy manic self, flirting, living in denial. I feel like suck a sucker for putting up with all I did the past year and a half...it is all coming to me...I feel so taken advantage of.....so cheap...so embarassed. How could I mis...
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Fifi
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8
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508
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awake and pacing
(Preview)
Ever since I was a kid I had a strong will. If someone said dont touch it I seems I was compelled to touch what ever was forbidden. At the time I was in trouble but it has served me well. I am in the trap of trying to not touch, because I dont want to be in trouble. I seem to be surrounded by people who have had enoug...
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mom1973
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5
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462
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How low do they have to get?
(Preview)
Hello
It's been a while since I posted, but I'm still around.
In case any of you don't know my story... My ex-husband is an alcoholic and cocaine addict. I divorced him because I couldn't stand by and let him take me down with him. He nearly did take me down financially. I'm on my own now, struggling...
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artygirl
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9
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670
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emotional rollercoaster
(Preview)
Am i the raving "loon" my A b/f has been calling me for the last two weeks... sometimes in reflection i think he may be right. After three years of trying to help him fight his addiction , i thought he had cracked it ... sober for 6 months , i did everything i could possibly do to make him happy ....
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cytagirl
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6
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597
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12 steps to insanity
(Preview)
Going through my husband's papers this morning, found this - this one fits alanon even better than AA, I think.... 1. We admitted we were powerless over nothing - that we could manage our lives perfectly and those of anyone else who would allow us. 2 Came to believe that there was no power greater than o...
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lin0606
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3
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630
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wouldn't it be nice
(Preview)
if in the evenings after the kids went to bed we could sit on the couch and watch a movie with our spouse and maybe enjoy a glass of wine. Instead of hearing the sound of the 5th beer crack open the minute you walk upstairs to put the kids to bed. I wonder if people realize how lucky they are.
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nagal
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11
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559
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between the devil and the deep blue sea
(Preview)
I would be very grateful for advice. I have been with my alcoholic s.o. for four years. We are not kids -- in fact, we are middle-aged. He is one of the "charming" variety of drunks, no Dr.Jekyl and Mr. Hyde situation. But I am at wit's end. Last fall I thought I had decided to leave him when he too...
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Genevieve
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6
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532
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Baby Steps - Working on Moving On AGAIN!
(Preview)
So as of tomorrow morning, it will be one week since I have seen or heard from my AH. I am working really hard on "Not Obsessing" over his where abouts. Not knowing drives me nuts....not the "where is he & what's he doing" bit but more of the "when will he show up on my door...
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QOD
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7
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554
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All that glitters . . .
(Preview)
I didn't allow myself to question why in the heck I persisted in staying with my A as long as I did until he was gone. I've been thinking and journaling about it, comparing my A to previous relationships. Yup, lots of similarities, all three were with depressed addicts! On my part, I am an idealizer. I...
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Kim65
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8
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4099
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Well, here I am again... (long)
(Preview)
I was here many months before, some of you may remember. I stopped coming because I wasn't ready at that time to fully accept my husbands problems with addictions. After a brief seperation back in 2006, I again thought we could make our marriage survive. I could compromise with him, I could lower my sta...
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Rora
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3
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520
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Well, he left on a "gentleman's vacation."
(Preview)
Drunk and saying that he will just leave. Leave he did. He'll be home in two or three days, if the alcohol poisoning doesn't kill him. He'll be sick as a dog for a few days and apologetic. THen another year will go by, while he insists he will never do it again because next time it will kill him. THen, ou...
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Diva
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14
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615
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Rest In Peace
(Preview)
Tomorrow my husband and I will attend the Funeral Mass of a dear homelsss friend, Kevin, who died on the streets. We ministered to Kevin with prayer, kindness and positive encouragement. The disease of alcoholism claimed his dear life and he was drinking mouthwash in his final months to satisfy th...
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NANUKE
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5
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495
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Music City Roundup, Nashville, TN
(Preview)
I was just wondering, did anyone attend the Music City Roundup, for AA and Alanon, in Nashville, TN these past few days? I was lucky enough to attend (another lady from our home group cancelled and I got her spot), and I really enjoyed hearing the AA and Alanon speakers talk about their experiences. It...
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lmt123
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1
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3817
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I need advice on grandson
(Preview)
I mentioned to the board that I have my grandson with me because of my daughters drinking and the fact that she can not provide for him at this time. I have never discused her problem with him. Someone sugested al a teen. How do I bring up the subject since we have never discussed it. Also no legal custody ha...
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mom1973
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2
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533
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It's Raining, It's Pouring . . .
(Preview)
It's Raining, It's Pouring The old man is snoring Went to bed bumped his head couldn't get up in the morning. Ok - anybody else remember that song from elementary school??? It's been raining here for about 7 days straight and the forecast is for - Yes, you got it more RAIN. It has been a challenging day so f...
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Rita G
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8
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523
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I hate my denial cloud
(Preview)
I hate my denial cloud. I really do. I had the second interview for the AmeriCorps position on Tuesday. And I don't think I got the position. I answered the questions the best I could, the best I knew how, the best I was able to, and the best way I could think of how to do it. I knew I was upset when it was all o...
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Tiger2006
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3
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448
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Argh
(Preview)
So, I was talking to my best friend on the phone, and somehow we got on the topic of drinking, etc. Well anyway, I told him that I worried about him because he showed signs of early alcoholism, and he said, "Well so do you." I asked what he meant, and he said that I had gotten drunk almost every nig...
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kiddo
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7
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393
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first days...again
(Preview)
Hello everyone....I am back writing and feeling the need to really find comfort and understanding and awareness here. My 7 month sober BF of the past year and a half moved out for good 2 days ago. Well he is not sleeping here and all his things are in the basement....they too will be gone in a wwk or two...I...
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Fifi
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3
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420
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I dont get it !!!
(Preview)
I heard somewhere that alcoholism isn't a DISEASE , it's a DECISION . After 6 months of sobriety , why did my A b/f suddenly start drinking again .. It wasn't a physical craving , it was a psycological one surely ... In need of ESH here because i'm so confused , ...
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cytagirl
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16
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770
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I hurt so bad...
(Preview)
I am new here, i don't have anyone to talk to. I love my husband so much but he can't seem to stop drinking. He is not mean to me or our son but I feel so lonely . he does,nt understand how his drinking shuts me out. We made an agreement that I would lose weight and he would cut down on his drinking, i have los...
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tammy9462001
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6
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570
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one version of the Serenity Prayer
(Preview)
Hi guys, I found this on another website and thought you might like it. Quote:In order to let go of the uncontrollables and unchangeables in your life, you need to follow the words of the Prayer for Serenity by Reinhold Niebuhr. God grant me the serenity This requires that you establish a healthy spiri...
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Dorothy
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0
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399
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The secret is out
(Preview)
I have come to the end of my rope with my A. This weekend my son and his wife came in. The first thing my son said to me was "I see you and Dad are still not talking". Last weekend I learned that my A has a gambling problem along with his A. I have also learned that (as far as I know) he has drained so...
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weggie
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2
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395
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Prayers for Hubby please!
(Preview)
(((((((Family))))), We just got back from the doctor and hubby received his medical clearance for his 2nd part of his surgery. All looks good. They will take the halo, the pins, the rods, the stitches and stables, etc out on Monday. They will then put a cast on and he has to leave that on until Septemb...
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Karilynn
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22
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669
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Do A's ever care about their spouses?
(Preview)
I am really confused: My A husband is willing to talk about the weather, work, about someone's house repairs, etc. He will talk about almost anything except family issues or wanting to discuss us. We have been married for over 20 years but his drinking didn't get really bad until 5 years ago. He writ...
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CriedOut2
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15
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851
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July 8th Agenda - 9 p.m. Daylight Savings Time
(Preview)
I hope you all can make it. We've been having great meetings with very good attendance and have had some really healthy discussions and group conscience votes. AGENDA I. OPs Schedule II. Minutes Approval from June 3rd. III. Treasurer's Report IV. Old Business A. Rolling Scr...
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Maria123
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0
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292
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Missing My Program
(Preview)
I have been away from the boards for a while.... I come back here from time to time to gain some insight on alanon. It has been a long journey for me to travel. But I believe I am catching on to the basics of the program. I am still in love with my A boyfriend. But it is not healthy for me to continue as it has been f...
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mandalynn38
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3
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380
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Learning to trust again
(Preview)
I have been married to my AH for almost 3 yrs. This past Christmas I realized he was an A and told him so. He knew when we got married I didn't like alcohol much, and snuck out to buy it without my knowing for two years!! He would then drink it secretly. I started finding empty cans, which became empty hard liq...
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Keme
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2
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540
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shock
(Preview)
I wish I could find a f2f tonight, but it's late and there isn't one....I keep replaying it in my mind...my brain is numb now.... I came home early to take our son to scouts, I missed the message that they canceled it due to the holiday tomorrow. So we started home. My son asked if he could get a taco, he was...
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pabell
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12
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639
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mom of two babies scared
(Preview)
I am scared. I have been married to my husband for almost 7 years. I think he has been an alcolholic most of that but I have not admitted it to myself. His father and uncle are both hardcore alcoholics. I have written it off to him being young, to myself being too controlling etc. Now I realize that I was lyin...
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nagal
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12
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584
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HAD A GOOD MEMORY FROM CHILDHOOD
(Preview)
(((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))I was brought up with a drinker all my life. My dad, he is not like that today.(Thank Gawd), He can have a few drinks and be okay, his personality does not change nowadays. I no longer get anxious about his drinking. But for years my mind was a box of bad memories....
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ally
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1
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551
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how am I supposed to react?
(Preview)
I wonder if anyone has tips for me on how to "handle" the lying / sneaking etc. My husband tells me that he is no longer drinking "during the week" but I know(for a fact) that he is drinking and hiding it from me. Do I tell him I know and get accused of "keeping track" or snea...
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nagal
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11
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757
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LET GO AND LET GOD
(Preview)
((((((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))))) I came across this and felt I would like to share it with you. This is something I feel we can all strugle with at some time in our lives....I hope you get something from it. Let Go: Let God Fill Your Need By Mary Kupferle If you are anxious, tense, or concerne...
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ally
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4
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3764
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My disease, My program
(Preview)
As I was driving home from my meeting I was letting myself think thoughts that make me mad and sad. I stopped myself and thought "this is my disease". This is how I make myself miserable. No one else was in the car, just me, letting thoughts make me feel something I wasn't feeling. I was actual...
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serendipity
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4
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474
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I am obsessing!!
(Preview)
OMG - I cannot STOP obsessing today over my AH. I haven't seen or heard from him since he left the house Tuesday morning for work. Not a word. Now, you'd think that I'd be used to this as it has been his behavior for the last few years. Going off on his crack binges. The difference this time is that I have...
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QOD
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5
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570
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Alaska pics
(Preview)
Hi (((family))) Am back from Anchorage and had a great time. Although it's such a loooooong trip. 12 hrs from my door step to hubby's. I don't want to do it again for a while. It was after 1 a.m my time when we got there, but only 10:00 there and broad daylight..lol That's so weird. It never does get da...
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Christy
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6
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557
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Continue your recovery
(Preview)
From some of the Buddist texts. Continue your recovery, even if those you love continue in self destruction (something I am reminding myself alot lately...) Live in joy, In love, Even among those who hate. Live in joy, In health, Even among the afflicted. Live in joy, In peace, Even among the trouble...
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Tiger2006
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2
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322
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help in the next stage
(Preview)
hello all
haven't written in some time.....full time with work,kids,home and managing my now sober live-in boyfriends' moods and my reaction to them ( or attempt not to).
i asked him to move out today....after a year of him abusing himself and then 7 months of his sobriety. suprisingly not m...
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Fifi
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9
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602
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I'm so scared
(Preview)
I am watching my daughter disolve before my own eyes. She has seriuos medical problems from her alchohol use and is living across town with people who took her in from the street. Her 12 year old son lives with me. I think she is also showing signs of mental illness. I thought about having her committed bu...
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mom1973
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10
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654
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Little Miracles....
(Preview)
I am seeing little miracles going on around me and not quite sure how to process them other than thank God daily. Last night my AH (sober 5 mos) took our 14 yr old son to a youth group. When our son came home, the first thing he said to me was, "I am so proud of dad. We went to KFC after and I accidentally kn...
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Loupiness
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4
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494
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I keep repeating the 3 Cs....
(Preview)
I didn't cause it. I cannot control it. I cannot cure it. I guess I need some ESH here because every time he goes off on a "vacation" I remember that he was 25 years sober until I came into his life. For the last 5 years I have lost all trust in him because of the drinking binges. I have got to the poin...
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Diva
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18
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1888
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Absolutely bombarded
(Preview)
I saw the A yesterday and came away feeling drained to death. He managed to absolutely bombard me with demands and manipulate me. I felt totally put upon, distressed and fed up.
The norm.
I have levelled with the people he is staying with. They are willing to work with me. I feel like I am going to...
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maresie2
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5
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546
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More pointless fighting...
(Preview)
We were invited to a party last night and he we were both wanting to go, but then the anxiety set in when I though abt alcohol maybe being there - so I said "can you not drink?" "I'll just have a couple" YEAH RIGHT LOL!!!!! I'm not abt to put myself in a situation where I will look like th...
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Gurl25
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8
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506
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can't sleep, I feel numb.
(Preview)
My daughters friend who was17 died of an over-dose, they decided to take him off life support, there was so little brain activity, he went without oxygen for too long. I talked to my daughter about getting help for her addiction, for the first time she didn't disagree. I have cried all the tears I think...
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gimmpy
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13
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543
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I am feeling high levels of anxiety today!
(Preview)
My AH left for work Tuesday morning and I haven't seen or heard from him since. I thought that he might show up Wed night so that he could get up and go to work today but he was a no show. Now I am figuring there is no telling when he will turn up this time. I am leaving for my vacation on the 14th and he was suppos...
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QOD
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11
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616
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It has been a little more than a year...
(Preview)
He went out this afternoon and stayed about three hours. I think he has been drinking. He is avoiding me, because he knows I can detect it immediately. His voice has "that sound." I am convinced it will never end. OK, OK. Breathe. Keep myself calm and in order. I'll make it. Damn, I hat...
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Diva
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4
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517
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I need to be slapped....
(Preview)
I rarely lose my temper. In fact it drove my A nuts how I delt with my anger so quitely. But after my diagnoses,and the diabetes med making me so sick, I was a B to two of my friends... geez. raving lunatic. Apologized to both. one has forgiven me, The other well I told her if she does not talk to me, I am heading...
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debilyn
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4
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448
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What?? 4th of July and sober?
(Preview)
Who would have thunk? lol So after fireworks I called ah to see if he was sober so he could talk to the kids and he actually was. I asked how he managed to do that? and he said "the guys are out sitting by the fire drinking and I didn't want to be stupid and get drunk so I've stayed in my room all day" He...
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Friendofyours
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3
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509
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I am new here
(Preview)
I am new to this board but not to Al-Anon although it's been a couple of years since I went to a face-to-face meeting. I am really needing to start back with meetings and this will help in between. My AH is really sinking to the bottom but it's bringing me down. I can't let it but I am so depressed. We ar...
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Mamallama
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9
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570
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Update
(Preview)
Hi, I haven't been around too much lately - busy and sad time. My husband's cancer progressed faster than we expected it to, and he died last week. He died at home, just at the beginning of the journey we both dreaded - pain and incapacity, hospitals and tubes ... The last few weeks of his life had me as alm...
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lin0606
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26
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681
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