Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Today's thought from Hazelden is: In the long run, it's easier to carry out our Higher Power's will than our own. The good news of the Twelve Step program is that we don't have to continue trying to make self-will work. Attempting to make the rest of the world conform to what we think we want is a little lik...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

My ah hasn't seen the kids since May right so he was on his way tonight. I get a call that the clutch in his truck is broken. I believe him but the kids are devastated. He had them all worked up to go to the water park as a family. The next time he can come is in a month from now because we won't have the money again t...

lmt123 · lmt123

Hi (((((family))))), A lot of you know that I kicked my 19 yr old daughter out in early June for her nasty attitude and blatant disrespect towards me. I have had peaceful days since then... I found out she has been living with her b/f and his dad (b/f's mom is out of the picture). I've not said anything, s...

gimmpy · gimmpy

How can I get myself to the point where I say enough is enough. The thought of my daughter on the streets is so painful, it's like nothing I have ever felt. I have given her so many chances, and still she shows no signs of getting her life back on track. There is always something that alows me to convince my...

danz123 · danz123

Miracles in Progress July 8,2007 Group Conscience Meeting Minutes The chairperson opened the meeting w/The Serenity Prayer. OLD BUSINESS The current meeting chair list was posted, as well as the following op requirements. The position of Room Operator or Monitor is one of responsibility for the...

jewely · jewely

lately i have been having some insightfull thoughts concerning the "wisdom to know the difference". i have been in the program for many years now, but, until recently have not heard the voice of higher power clearly. today, i was going to go to a round up. it is HOt where i live, sickenin...

pepodwyer · pepodwyer

How do you know if a person is an alcoholic? I read the page that described the behavior. I see some of it in my husband. I grew up around abundant alcohol use, but it still took me a long time to realize that my father was an alcoholic. He drank every day, not getting falling down drunk. Alc...

Fifi · Fifi

It has been one week since my addict BF has moved out of mine and my little girls home and life. Just like his sobriety and other changes....it went fast and furious. Cold turkey. Like he was never here. It is hard for me to process all the emotions alone. How can someone just evaporate?! Like he never sh...

QOD · QOD

My AH's grandma called me and said that his mom and stepdad woke him up and talked to him a little while ago. My stepdad had said that he was going to tell him he couldn't stay there unless he got treatment. WELL - he agreed and they immediately took him to a hospital/institute.....I don't know what you c...

jewely · jewely

i have been getting these moments of enlightenment lately. thoughts that come to my mind that are as real as the setting sun or a full moon night. recently i said to self, '' i like my privacy. i don't want to give it up.'' i have been dealing with the defect of isolation, and, as quick as i had that thought to...

Rita G · Rita G

Hey my MIP family, I have tried to post this message a few times - written a long explanation - then deleted it. I can't make it to a meeting today (Oh, do I need one badly) hopefully I'll make it tomorrow night. Basically, please just remind me that I have the right to do what is best to take care of myself...

gardengal · gardengal

Alcoholic's drink because they think they have to. They use the alcohol as a crutch and an escape. They are in emotional pain, and use the alcohol to kill that pain, and eventually they depend on alcohol so much that they become convinced they cant live without it. Hope for recovery lies in their abili...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

Am I doing something wrong? I can not get onto chat. I've looked at my "settings" and I don't see anything for that :( Help me if you can. Thanx.

maresie2 · maresie2

I am living in a house right now with a woman and her son which is really bringing up a lot for me. I've written before about seeing her codepenence in myself. She really puts out for her son who really just does what he feels like. Talk about a mirror of many situaitons for me. Lately she h...

rita m · rita m

i am so glad someone in my al anon homegroup suggested this message board. i have been going to meetings again for about 3 months. went for over ten years and took about 2 yrs off. it is nice to be back. i am focusing more on me and not my a. my issue is i am a great enabler to all, not just my husband. i have a wonde...

Becky1 · Becky1

I went to my Mom's in Kansas from Ohio for a week, and returned Sat. July 7. It was a planned visit, to help her do some things she needed done (she's 86 and lives alone.) Before I left, my AH and I had not been getting along at all. He was so cold, distant, etc. I ended up leaving an 8 page typewritten letter...

Rita G · Rita G

"The day is just ruined, ReeRee" This is what my granddaughter, Lexi said to me this morning as I was bringing her and her sister, Bella to daycare. She is about 4 1/2 yrs old - I asked her how could her day be ruined at 6:30 in the morning. She said "I wanted to wear my sparkly orange outfit...

Friendofyours · Friendofyours

My ah will be here tomorrow night. We have not seen him since early May, since before the miscarriage when he said some very hurtful things to me. We speak on the phone sometimes hateful, sometimes decent, most times like nothing has happend. I let him know even though it may sound cruel to you that my hea...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I have a great friend here on campus. Her name is Kristen. Kristen has moderate CP. She needs alot of help--opening doors, opening pasta jars, opening things. She needs help getting her dinner plate made, making sure she's got a plate made up for her and set for dinner, and things like this. Things you...

Chetch · Chetch

I am a 57 year old woman married to an alcholic. He is extremely intelligent and is in private practice as an attorney. The drinking didn't get really bad until about 2 years ago, coinciding with my being diagnosed with lung cancer. In the past 2 years I have had 2 lung cancer surgeries, breast cancer...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((Family)))))), Anyone know where I can address medical issues without rocking the boat too much? Once again, the residents screwed up on writing out the correct pain meds for hubby. I am getting frustrated to say the least. While we want to get off the pain meds as soon as possible, accordin...

shadow1 · shadow1

Peggy7 I have looked for you on the board and can't seem to locate you can you please pm me so i can contact you. Thanks Shadow/aka shad

Fifi · Fifi

So one of my hardest struggles right now is trying to move through/get over the fact that my ex cheated and lied so much. He moved out thank god almost a week ago and is already involved with someone else....but our entire relationship he maintained secretive inappropriate female relationships and v...

itsgot2bgd · itsgot2bgd

Hi family, I hope it's okay to call you all that... I am struggling a little with detaching from my AH today. It's hard to get off his back when he is acting so self-absorbed that he doesn't do right by the kids. As a mother, I feel it's my duty to defend them to the hilt... even against their father....

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well, things are moving along smoothly. I think this is the longest run of nothing exciting happening in years and years, maybe ever. I guess I don't have much to say and seems like that's a good thing considering all the other surrounding posts and the chaos. Gosh, I'm glad I don't have much to say. I h...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Does anyone have any good recovery jokes they want to share? I post my fave about making eggs for the alcoholic once in awhile, but it's getting dated. Here's one I found online, and maybe we can have a few new or good ones thrown around here. Keep smiling! Tom A guy decides to take off work early from w...

serendipity · serendipity

I shared last night with my home group what has been helping me. I have felt so heavy with the weight of life I just wanted to lighten up. But I was sick of lightening up by judging others or myself and trying to laugh at my own misery. I have 3 kids involved and dysfunction is just not funny. So, I have taken t...

Jill · Jill

Oh I lost it! Imagine a call center worker on the other side of the world, Shes working through the night, and then she has to take a crowded bus home in the morning to a crowded house and have her family take her wages. She was a star student, learned English and even an American accent for this work. Then s...

QOD · QOD

Oh what to do what to do. My mother-in-law just called and said that my AH has turned up. His stepdad just got home from work and my AH was sacked out in his recliner in the living room. His stepdad had stupidly given my AH a key to his house months ago b/c he was staying there when I wouldn't let him come hom...

JulieLynn · JulieLynn

Hello again everyone. Thanks to those that responded to my last post. Basically my husband is still not talking to me and I have found it within myself to ignore this, and yes enjoy the silence. When he has spoken to me it is to tell me that he pays this and that in the house and insinuates that I don't pa...

Liza · Liza

I have been married for four years. My husband has always been a big drinker, and I was, too, when we met. But then I unexpectantly became pregnant, and all my priorities shifted from being a partying kid to a mom, and I became a person who hates to get drunk so I just don't do it. However, my husband didn't c...

Kim65 · Kim65

Today is the court hearing for the restraining order. It has been rescheduled three times. The first hearing (if you remember) the A and I came in without counsel and the judge cancelled and rescheduled, insisting we both GET counsel first. I didn't understand why at first, thought it was pretty c...

gligirl · gligirl

my bf has been clean for 2.5 years, and started steroids 6 months ago? what is everyones opinion on this!!! to me its an old habit,(needles) which im afraid may bring back his old behavior!!!

kissers · kissers

I don't like asking for anything; however, I could use some prayers at this time. I haven't seen the A in 7 years. He has no contact with our daughter and does nothing for her. I have been struggling lately because daycare for the summer is more than I can afford-$600 per month. I have asked my boss for a rai...

babysteps · babysteps

This may get convoluted, so I will try to keep it brief. Yesterday evening I was upstairs folding clothes and my 7-year old daughter and a friend of hers were downstairs with AH. My daughter found a t-shirt online that she wanted to order, but her friend said, "your dad won't let you get that."...

QOD · QOD

I was typing a response to someone a minute ago and realized I should probably start my own topic b/c my brain is just rolling right now. My AH has been gone for 1 week and 1 day now. No one has heard a word from him. He has no access to money that I know of. There is $47 left in the joint acct that I thought he wo...

maresie2 · maresie2

i see msyelf so much in this woman I have to deal with that lives in my house. Either she's assailing me to eat food she's cooked in some huge gesture of making food for everyone as soon as I get in the door or she's accusing me of something. Last night I got home and I was busting to go to the bathroo...

kissers · kissers

I had found this a long time ago and came across it again, so I thought I would share... Learn How To Let Go Letting go is the key to flowing with life and the key to having life work. At any moment, your life is exactly the way that it is. You are the way you are and the people in your life are exactly the way that t...

maire rua · maire rua

at present I am going through a very difficult financial time and have a number of important decisions to make. I am dealing with people who are not particularly bothered that I have no money to pay my bills though I have worked my tail off for the last three months. I am really tired of that but have manage...

gligirl · gligirl

I HAVE BEEN DATING A RECOVERING A FOR ABOUT 6 MONTHS, AND HE HAS BEEN CLEAN FOR ABOUT 2.5 YEARS, ALTHOUGH THIS IS MY FIRST RELATIONSHIP WITH AN ADDICT, I HAVE 2 COUSINS WHO WERE VERY BIG A'S FOR AS LONG AS I CAN REMEBER, WHO ALSO JUST FOUND SOBERITY. I HAVE HAD MANY CRAZY AND INSANE RELATIONSHIPS, THOUGH NON...

gknee · gknee

My newly sober AH has been out of state for the past week visiting his family. I have been talking to him every day or two and it sounds like he has had a nice time. He attended 2 AA meetings while out there and told his sisters all about his addiction and recovery work. This was huge! Here's the thing-- I...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, I'm hoping someone can give me their perspective on my situation. I'm driving myself mad at at the moment. As I get better and pull away from the disease of Aism,I can see the codependancy of my family members more clearly. There is a lot of control trying to go on. But this is commonplace in m...

kiddo · kiddo

So, Matt got out of rehab today. He called me, and we were talking, and every time he starts talking about things he had to do or still has to do I start crying. I just can't handle it anymore. He has to live with his grandparents because they feel if he just goes home he'll relapse, which I would expect of mos...

gardengal · gardengal

I was reluctant to admit I was powerless over alcohol, and I forgot that I was not powerless over myself. I had a choice, I could resume in my state of misery, insanity, worry, and sadness, or I could start living again the life I always thought it would be. Alot of us come to Alanon feeling life has deal...

Katy · Katy

What is the alchoholic and what is just the person, my husband is one year sober now, and I still get played, I'm not reacting not asking why not taking his inventary just wondering what is it, that makes a person act this way, not conveying feelings, dislikes, almost as if an enjoyment is to be had by suf...

ally · ally

(((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))))) I done it, I finally told this guy how I feel, In a moment of anger, by text.. After no contact for 9 days from both of us, I saw him going out Sat night, As I was getting dressed to go to my f2f. I had been having a few days where I was under stress, and taking it out on e...

gimmpy · gimmpy

the service for the 17 year old who died from an an overdose was today. why do some get a chance and others don't. I am awake again at 3am. My daughter and her friend feel some what guilty since they were there and couldn't help him enough when he stopped breathing. I hope the others get another chance now, b...

pabell · pabell

Our son leaves for boot camp on July 19 for 22 weeks....his Dad wants to spend time with him....our son doesn't want to hardly be in the same room as him...our son is respectful to him, they chit chat, but he is still mad at his dad for saying all the horriable things he said and did last week to me. Our son fee...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((Family))))), Hubby is back home from the hospital safe and sound. All went well with the surgery. They removed all the hardware (trust me I made sure) and put a cast on. The cast is a little higher than we thought it would be. We're guessing that the bone fractured a bit when they took the rod...

Maria123 · Maria123

It's ok to cry . . . I have been "getting busy" because when I do, I am getting better, right? I have been formulating my gratitude list which is plentiful and that should be helping, right? I have so much to be grateful for, right? Why then was I feeling blue today? There's no rhyme nor reas...

JulieLynn · JulieLynn

It's been a long time since I last posted. I started going to college and have been so busy with school. My active AH and I got into an argument over the weekend about something very stupid. When we argue, my husband will go for days acting cocky and arrogant and won't speak to me for days. I had gotten v...

IrishExport · IrishExport

Please forgive me if I come across as silly or naive - I have had no experience with legal matters before, and am from Ireland so a lot of the terminology is new to me. Anyway - here goes. My husband and I have been married 6 years - he is a binge-drinking alcoholic (meaning he doesn't drink all the time, but w...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

It used to be that I didn't have any feelings. I'd anethetised them all because of how emotional living in the alcholic insanity was. Then I found al anon. And I found every single one of my feelings. And I thought I was going to die. So when my Buddist sponsor proposed to me that I didn't have to feel som...

Steel Magnolia · Steel Magnolia

I've wanted to join this board many times.Maybe it was denial,shame or fear that kept me from here.I need help in sorting out my anger.I want to understand that it is a disease and not a decision. My fiancee of 6 years was carted of to jail for the third time in 3 years.All d.u.i related.He will more than li...

Fifi · Fifi

I am having such a hard time....knowing my ex is out there putting on his fake happy manic self, flirting, living in denial. I feel like suck a sucker for putting up with all I did the past year and a half...it is all coming to me...I feel so taken advantage of.....so cheap...so embarassed. How could I mis...

mom1973 · mom1973

Ever since I was a kid I had a strong will. If someone said dont touch it I seems I was compelled to touch what ever was forbidden. At the time I was in trouble but it has served me well. I am in the trap of trying to not touch, because I dont want to be in trouble. I seem to be surrounded by people who have had enoug...

artygirl · artygirl

Hello It's been a while since I posted, but I'm still around. In case any of you don't know my story... My ex-husband is an alcoholic and cocaine addict. I divorced him because I couldn't stand by and let him take me down with him. He nearly did take me down financially. I'm on my own now, struggling...

cytagirl · cytagirl

Am i the raving "loon" my A b/f has been calling me for the last two weeks... sometimes in reflection i think he may be right. After three years of trying to help him fight his addiction , i thought he had cracked it ... sober for 6 months , i did everything i could possibly do to make him happy ....

lin0606 · lin0606

Going through my husband's papers this morning, found this - this one fits alanon even better than AA, I think.... 1. We admitted we were powerless over nothing - that we could manage our lives perfectly and those of anyone else who would allow us. 2 Came to believe that there was no power greater than o...

nagal · nagal

if in the evenings after the kids went to bed we could sit on the couch and watch a movie with our spouse and maybe enjoy a glass of wine. Instead of hearing the sound of the 5th beer crack open the minute you walk upstairs to put the kids to bed. I wonder if people realize how lucky they are.

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	God's Will (Preview) Today's thought from Hazelden is: In the long run, it's easier to carry out our Higher Power's will than our own. The good news of the Twelve Step program is that we don't have to continue trying to make self-will work. Attempting to make the rest of the world conform to what we think we want is a little lik...	Tiger2006	0	329	Jul 15, 2007 by Tiger2006
	My poor sweet kids (Preview) My ah hasn't seen the kids since May right so he was on his way tonight. I get a call that the clutch in his truck is broken. I believe him but the kids are devastated. He had them all worked up to go to the water park as a family. The next time he can come is in a month from now because we won't have the money again t...	Friendofyours	4	1380	Jul 15, 2007 by lmt123
	hugged my daughter yesterday...:) (Preview) Hi (((((family))))), A lot of you know that I kicked my 19 yr old daughter out in early June for her nasty attitude and blatant disrespect towards me. I have had peaceful days since then... I found out she has been living with her b/f and his dad (b/f's mom is out of the picture). I've not said anything, s...	lmt123	6	589	Jul 15, 2007 by greta
	where does one find the courage? (Preview) How can I get myself to the point where I say enough is enough. The thought of my daughter on the streets is so painful, it's like nothing I have ever felt. I have given her so many chances, and still she shows no signs of getting her life back on track. There is always something that alows me to convince my...	gimmpy	8	680	Jul 15, 2007 by greta
	July 8 Business Meeting Minutes (Preview) Miracles in Progress July 8,2007 Group Conscience Meeting Minutes The chairperson opened the meeting w/The Serenity Prayer. OLD BUSINESS The current meeting chair list was posted, as well as the following op requirements. The position of Room Operator or Monitor is one of responsibility for the...	danz123	3	761	Jul 15, 2007 by Karilynn
	wisdom to know the difference (Preview) lately i have been having some insightfull thoughts concerning the "wisdom to know the difference". i have been in the program for many years now, but, until recently have not heard the voice of higher power clearly. today, i was going to go to a round up. it is HOt where i live, sickenin...	jewely	3	643	Jul 15, 2007 by jewely
	How do you know a person is an Alcoholic? (Preview) How do you know if a person is an alcoholic? I read the page that described the behavior. I see some of it in my husband. I grew up around abundant alcohol use, but it still took me a long time to realize that my father was an alcoholic. He drank every day, not getting falling down drunk. Alc...	pepodwyer	7	754	Jul 14, 2007 by pepodwyer
	one week (Preview) It has been one week since my addict BF has moved out of mine and my little girls home and life. Just like his sobriety and other changes....it went fast and furious. Cold turkey. Like he was never here. It is hard for me to process all the emotions alone. How can someone just evaporate?! Like he never sh...	Fifi	3	375	Jul 14, 2007 by Kim65
	UPDATE!!! (Preview) My AH's grandma called me and said that his mom and stepdad woke him up and talked to him a little while ago. My stepdad had said that he was going to tell him he couldn't stay there unless he got treatment. WELL - he agreed and they immediately took him to a hospital/institute.....I don't know what you c...	QOD	9	564	Jul 14, 2007 by CJ
	wisdom to know the difference (Preview) i have been getting these moments of enlightenment lately. thoughts that come to my mind that are as real as the setting sun or a full moon night. recently i said to self, '' i like my privacy. i don't want to give it up.'' i have been dealing with the defect of isolation, and, as quick as i had that thought to...	jewely	5	598	Jul 14, 2007 by Fifi
	Help (Preview) Hey my MIP family, I have tried to post this message a few times - written a long explanation - then deleted it. I can't make it to a meeting today (Oh, do I need one badly) hopefully I'll make it tomorrow night. Basically, please just remind me that I have the right to do what is best to take care of myself...	Rita G	11	770	Jul 14, 2007 by gardengal
	Alcoholics drink because....... (Preview) Alcoholic's drink because they think they have to. They use the alcohol as a crutch and an escape. They are in emotional pain, and use the alcohol to kill that pain, and eventually they depend on alcohol so much that they become convinced they cant live without it. Hope for recovery lies in their abili...	gardengal	4	764	Jul 13, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Chat room help please (Preview) Am I doing something wrong? I can not get onto chat. I've looked at my "settings" and I don't see anything for that :( Help me if you can. Thanx.	Friendofyours	4	522	Jul 13, 2007 by Friendofyours
	More ont the mirror stuff (Preview) I am living in a house right now with a woman and her son which is really bringing up a lot for me. I've written before about seeing her codepenence in myself. She really puts out for her son who really just does what he feels like. Talk about a mirror of many situaitons for me. Lately she h...	maresie2	1	484	Jul 13, 2007 by lin0606
	learning to detach with love (Preview) i am so glad someone in my al anon homegroup suggested this message board. i have been going to meetings again for about 3 months. went for over ten years and took about 2 yrs off. it is nice to be back. i am focusing more on me and not my a. my issue is i am a great enabler to all, not just my husband. i have a wonde...	rita m	6	670	Jul 13, 2007 by Karilynn
	Good to Be Home (Preview) I went to my Mom's in Kansas from Ohio for a week, and returned Sat. July 7. It was a planned visit, to help her do some things she needed done (she's 86 and lives alone.) Before I left, my AH and I had not been getting along at all. He was so cold, distant, etc. I ended up leaving an 8 page typewritten letter...	Becky1	6	558	Jul 13, 2007 by Becky1
	"The Day is just Ruined, ReeRee" (Preview) "The day is just ruined, ReeRee" This is what my granddaughter, Lexi said to me this morning as I was bringing her and her sister, Bella to daycare. She is about 4 1/2 yrs old - I asked her how could her day be ruined at 6:30 in the morning. She said "I wanted to wear my sparkly orange outfit...	Rita G	13	1042	Jul 13, 2007 by thinkstoomuch
	Anxiety comin on. (Preview) My ah will be here tomorrow night. We have not seen him since early May, since before the miscarriage when he said some very hurtful things to me. We speak on the phone sometimes hateful, sometimes decent, most times like nothing has happend. I let him know even though it may sound cruel to you that my hea...	Friendofyours	4	580	Jul 13, 2007 by maresie2
	Getting all my buttons pushed, and really need to be reassured right now (Preview) I have a great friend here on campus. Her name is Kristen. Kristen has moderate CP. She needs alot of help--opening doors, opening pasta jars, opening things. She needs help getting her dinner plate made, making sure she's got a plate made up for her and set for dinner, and things like this. Things you...	Tiger2006	10	647	Jul 13, 2007 by Lunamoth
	What would you do in my situation? (Preview) I am a 57 year old woman married to an alcholic. He is extremely intelligent and is in private practice as an attorney. The drinking didn't get really bad until about 2 years ago, coinciding with my being diagnosed with lung cancer. In the past 2 years I have had 2 lung cancer surgeries, breast cancer...	Chetch	9	920	Jul 13, 2007 by Chetch
	Off topic question? (Preview) (((((((Family)))))), Anyone know where I can address medical issues without rocking the boat too much? Once again, the residents screwed up on writing out the correct pain meds for hubby. I am getting frustrated to say the least. While we want to get off the pain meds as soon as possible, accordin...	Karilynn	8	608	Jul 13, 2007 by Karilynn
	Peggy7 ?????? (Preview) Peggy7 I have looked for you on the board and can't seem to locate you can you please pm me so i can contact you. Thanks Shadow/aka shad	shadow1	3	445	Jul 13, 2007 by shadow1
	how to get over the lies and cheating (Preview) So one of my hardest struggles right now is trying to move through/get over the fact that my ex cheated and lied so much. He moved out thank god almost a week ago and is already involved with someone else....but our entire relationship he maintained secretive inappropriate female relationships and v...	Fifi	11	2781	Jul 12, 2007 by lin0606
	Even thought he's clean/sober, it's still a challenge (Preview) Hi family, I hope it's okay to call you all that... I am struggling a little with detaching from my AH today. It's hard to get off his back when he is acting so self-absorbed that he doesn't do right by the kids. As a mother, I feel it's my duty to defend them to the hilt... even against their father....	itsgot2bgd	3	510	Jul 12, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Child support court on Friday (Preview) Well, things are moving along smoothly. I think this is the longest run of nothing exciting happening in years and years, maybe ever. I guess I don't have much to say and seems like that's a good thing considering all the other surrounding posts and the chaos. Gosh, I'm glad I don't have much to say. I h...	carolinagirl	8	536	Jul 12, 2007 by itsgot2bgd
	Humor and Laughter (Preview) Does anyone have any good recovery jokes they want to share? I post my fave about making eggs for the alcoholic once in awhile, but it's getting dated. Here's one I found online, and maybe we can have a few new or good ones thrown around here. Keep smiling! Tom A guy decides to take off work early from w...	canadianguy	8	2900	Jul 12, 2007 by thinkstoomuch
	stress relief (Preview) I shared last night with my home group what has been helping me. I have felt so heavy with the weight of life I just wanted to lighten up. But I was sick of lightening up by judging others or myself and trying to laugh at my own misery. I have 3 kids involved and dysfunction is just not funny. So, I have taken t...	serendipity	3	449	Jul 12, 2007 by maresie2
	Setting Back International Relations (Preview) Oh I lost it! Imagine a call center worker on the other side of the world, Shes working through the night, and then she has to take a crowded bus home in the morning to a crowded house and have her family take her wages. She was a star student, learned English and even an American accent for this work. Then s...	Jill	8	656	Jul 12, 2007 by Karilynn
	He just turned up! (Preview) Oh what to do what to do. My mother-in-law just called and said that my AH has turned up. His stepdad just got home from work and my AH was sacked out in his recliner in the living room. His stepdad had stupidly given my AH a key to his house months ago b/c he was staying there when I wouldn't let him come hom...	QOD	10	608	Jul 11, 2007 by twinkie
	He doesn't appreciate anything I do (Preview) Hello again everyone. Thanks to those that responded to my last post. Basically my husband is still not talking to me and I have found it within myself to ignore this, and yes enjoy the silence. When he has spoken to me it is to tell me that he pays this and that in the house and insinuates that I don't pa...	JulieLynn	9	650	Jul 11, 2007 by gknee
	I really need advice (Preview) I have been married for four years. My husband has always been a big drinker, and I was, too, when we met. But then I unexpectantly became pregnant, and all my priorities shifted from being a partying kid to a mom, and I became a person who hates to get drunk so I just don't do it. However, my husband didn't c...	Liza	11	547	Jul 11, 2007 by Liza
	Today is the day (Preview) Today is the court hearing for the restraining order. It has been rescheduled three times. The first hearing (if you remember) the A and I came in without counsel and the judge cancelled and rescheduled, insisting we both GET counsel first. I didn't understand why at first, thought it was pretty c...	Kim65	11	708	Jul 11, 2007 by Kim65
	STEROIDS!!! (Preview) my bf has been clean for 2.5 years, and started steroids 6 months ago? what is everyones opinion on this!!! to me its an old habit,(needles) which im afraid may bring back his old behavior!!!	gligirl	9	761	Jul 11, 2007 by lin0606
	Please Say A Prayer (Preview) I don't like asking for anything; however, I could use some prayers at this time. I haven't seen the A in 7 years. He has no contact with our daughter and does nothing for her. I have been struggling lately because daycare for the summer is more than I can afford-$600 per month. I have asked my boss for a rai...	kissers	14	660	Jul 11, 2007 by mhgal
	Denial, Blame, etc. (Preview) This may get convoluted, so I will try to keep it brief. Yesterday evening I was upstairs folding clothes and my 7-year old daughter and a friend of hers were downstairs with AH. My daughter found a t-shirt online that she wanted to order, but her friend said, "your dad won't let you get that."...	babysteps	10	697	Jul 11, 2007 by Tiger2006
	Just doing a lot of thinking. (Preview) I was typing a response to someone a minute ago and realized I should probably start my own topic b/c my brain is just rolling right now. My AH has been gone for 1 week and 1 day now. No one has heard a word from him. He has no access to money that I know of. There is $47 left in the joint acct that I thought he wo...	QOD	2	516	Jul 11, 2007 by Fifi
	Over reacting to over reacting and the ever corrosive people pleasing. (Preview) i see msyelf so much in this woman I have to deal with that lives in my house. Either she's assailing me to eat food she's cooked in some huge gesture of making food for everyone as soon as I get in the door or she's accusing me of something. Last night I got home and I was busting to go to the bathroo...	maresie2	2	607	Jul 11, 2007 by jewely
	Letting Go (Preview) I had found this a long time ago and came across it again, so I thought I would share... *Learn How To Let Go* Letting go is the key to flowing with life and the key to having life work. At any moment, your life is exactly the way that it is. You are the way you are and the people in your life are exactly the way that t...	kissers	3	661	Jul 11, 2007 by thinkstoomuch
	trying not to over react (Preview) at present I am going through a very difficult financial time and have a number of important decisions to make. I am dealing with people who are not particularly bothered that I have no money to pay my bills though I have worked my tail off for the last three months. I am really tired of that but have manage...	maire rua	2	541	Jul 11, 2007 by maresie2
	FINSIHED WITH THIRD STEP? (Preview) I HAVE BEEN DATING A RECOVERING A FOR ABOUT 6 MONTHS, AND HE HAS BEEN CLEAN FOR ABOUT 2.5 YEARS, ALTHOUGH THIS IS MY FIRST RELATIONSHIP WITH AN ADDICT, I HAVE 2 COUSINS WHO WERE VERY BIG A'S FOR AS LONG AS I CAN REMEBER, WHO ALSO JUST FOUND SOBERITY. I HAVE HAD MANY CRAZY AND INSANE RELATIONSHIPS, THOUGH NON...	gligirl	6	1680	Jul 11, 2007 by gligirl
	Uncomfortably Numb-- too detached?? (Preview) My newly sober AH has been out of state for the past week visiting his family. I have been talking to him every day or two and it sounds like he has had a nice time. He attended 2 AA meetings while out there and told his sisters all about his addiction and recovery work. This was huge! Here's the thing-- I...	gknee	5	638	Jul 11, 2007 by ShelBell
	detatchment from controlling people (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm hoping someone can give me their perspective on my situation. I'm driving myself mad at at the moment. As I get better and pull away from the disease of Aism,I can see the codependancy of my family members more clearly. There is a lot of control trying to go on. But this is commonplace in m...	annmarie	4	671	Jul 11, 2007 by maresie2
	feeling broken (Preview) So, Matt got out of rehab today. He called me, and we were talking, and every time he starts talking about things he had to do or still has to do I start crying. I just can't handle it anymore. He has to live with his grandparents because they feel if he just goes home he'll relapse, which I would expect of mos...	kiddo	7	666	Jul 11, 2007 by Tenderheartsks
	Do you give yourself a chance to have a brighter future? (Preview) I was reluctant to admit I was powerless over alcohol, and I forgot that I was not powerless over myself. I had a choice, I could resume in my state of misery, insanity, worry, and sadness, or I could start living again the life I always thought it would be. Alot of us come to Alanon feeling life has deal...	gardengal	7	941	Jul 11, 2007 by Karilynn
	But How do we really know? (Preview) What is the alchoholic and what is just the person, my husband is one year sober now, and I still get played, I'm not reacting not asking why not taking his inventary just wondering what is it, that makes a person act this way, not conveying feelings, dislikes, almost as if an enjoyment is to be had by suf...	Katy	7	753	Jul 11, 2007 by Karilynn
	I TOLD THE TRUTH (EVENTUALLY) (Preview) (((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))))) I done it, I finally told this guy how I feel, In a moment of anger, by text.. After no contact for 9 days from both of us, I saw him going out Sat night, As I was getting dressed to go to my f2f. I had been having a few days where I was under stress, and taking it out on e...	ally	10	876	Jul 11, 2007 by jewely
	it's so sad (Preview) the service for the 17 year old who died from an an overdose was today. why do some get a chance and others don't. I am awake again at 3am. My daughter and her friend feel some what guilty since they were there and couldn't help him enough when he stopped breathing. I hope the others get another chance now, b...	gimmpy	2	559	Jul 10, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Need kid advice (Preview) Our son leaves for boot camp on July 19 for 22 weeks....his Dad wants to spend time with him....our son doesn't want to hardly be in the same room as him...our son is respectful to him, they chit chat, but he is still mad at his dad for saying all the horriable things he said and did last week to me. Our son fee...	pabell	4	639	Jul 10, 2007 by Friendofyours
	He's home! :) (Preview) ((((((((Family))))), Hubby is back home from the hospital safe and sound. All went well with the surgery. They removed all the hardware (trust me I made sure) and put a cast on. The cast is a little higher than we thought it would be. We're guessing that the bone fractured a bit when they took the rod...	Karilynn	13	848	Jul 10, 2007 by maresie2
	it's ok to cry (Preview) It's ok to cry . . . I have been "getting busy" because when I do, I am getting better, right? I have been formulating my gratitude list which is plentiful and that should be helping, right? I have so much to be grateful for, right? Why then was I feeling blue today? There's no rhyme nor reas...	Maria123	10	927	Jul 10, 2007 by bob6502
	I lost it (Preview) It's been a long time since I last posted. I started going to college and have been so busy with school. My active AH and I got into an argument over the weekend about something very stupid. When we argue, my husband will go for days acting cocky and arrogant and won't speak to me for days. I had gotten v...	JulieLynn	5	744	Jul 10, 2007 by gknee
	Just Down and Dejected... (Preview) Please forgive me if I come across as silly or naive - I have had no experience with legal matters before, and am from Ireland so a lot of the terminology is new to me. Anyway - here goes. My husband and I have been married 6 years - he is a binge-drinking alcoholic (meaning he doesn't drink all the time, but w...	IrishExport	9	771	Jul 10, 2007 by maresie2
	not sure where I'm at. But glad I'm here any way. (Preview) It used to be that I didn't have any feelings. I'd anethetised them all because of how emotional living in the alcholic insanity was. Then I found al anon. And I found every single one of my feelings. And I thought I was going to die. So when my Buddist sponsor proposed to me that I didn't have to feel som...	Tiger2006	2	669	Jul 10, 2007 by Jamekaticy
	My first time here (Preview) I've wanted to join this board many times.Maybe it was denial,shame or fear that kept me from here.I need help in sorting out my anger.I want to understand that it is a disease and not a decision. My fiancee of 6 years was carted of to jail for the third time in 3 years.All d.u.i related.He will more than li...	Steel Magnolia	10	896	Jul 9, 2007 by Steel Magnolia
	just after he has left (Preview) I am having such a hard time....knowing my ex is out there putting on his fake happy manic self, flirting, living in denial. I feel like suck a sucker for putting up with all I did the past year and a half...it is all coming to me...I feel so taken advantage of.....so cheap...so embarassed. How could I mis...	Fifi	8	594	Jul 9, 2007 by nmike
	awake and pacing (Preview) Ever since I was a kid I had a strong will. If someone said dont touch it I seems I was compelled to touch what ever was forbidden. At the time I was in trouble but it has served me well. I am in the trap of trying to not touch, because I dont want to be in trouble. I seem to be surrounded by people who have had enoug...	mom1973	5	549	Jul 9, 2007 by wp
	How low do they have to get? (Preview) Hello It's been a while since I posted, but I'm still around. In case any of you don't know my story... My ex-husband is an alcoholic and cocaine addict. I divorced him because I couldn't stand by and let him take me down with him. He nearly did take me down financially. I'm on my own now, struggling...	artygirl	9	758	Jul 9, 2007 by Beth H
	emotional rollercoaster (Preview) Am i the raving "loon" my A b/f has been calling me for the last two weeks... sometimes in reflection i think he may be right. After three years of trying to help him fight his addiction , i thought he had cracked it ... sober for 6 months , i did everything i could possibly do to make him happy ....	cytagirl	6	687	Jul 9, 2007 by Beth H
	12 steps to insanity (Preview) Going through my husband's papers this morning, found this - this one fits alanon even better than AA, I think.... 1. We admitted we were powerless over nothing - that we could manage our lives perfectly and those of anyone else who would allow us. 2 Came to believe that there was no power greater than o...	lin0606	3	718	Jul 9, 2007 by Beth H
	wouldn't it be nice (Preview) if in the evenings after the kids went to bed we could sit on the couch and watch a movie with our spouse and maybe enjoy a glass of wine. Instead of hearing the sound of the 5th beer crack open the minute you walk upstairs to put the kids to bed. I wonder if people realize how lucky they are.	nagal	11	648	Jul 9, 2007 by nagal
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.