Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

babysteps · babysteps

This may get convoluted, so I will try to keep it brief. Yesterday evening I was upstairs folding clothes and my 7-year old daughter and a friend of hers were downstairs with AH. My daughter found a t-shirt online that she wanted to order, but her friend said, "your dad won't let you get that."...

QOD · QOD

I was typing a response to someone a minute ago and realized I should probably start my own topic b/c my brain is just rolling right now. My AH has been gone for 1 week and 1 day now. No one has heard a word from him. He has no access to money that I know of. There is $47 left in the joint acct that I thought he wo...

maresie2 · maresie2

i see msyelf so much in this woman I have to deal with that lives in my house. Either she's assailing me to eat food she's cooked in some huge gesture of making food for everyone as soon as I get in the door or she's accusing me of something. Last night I got home and I was busting to go to the bathroo...

kissers · kissers

I had found this a long time ago and came across it again, so I thought I would share... Learn How To Let Go Letting go is the key to flowing with life and the key to having life work. At any moment, your life is exactly the way that it is. You are the way you are and the people in your life are exactly the way that t...

maire rua · maire rua

at present I am going through a very difficult financial time and have a number of important decisions to make. I am dealing with people who are not particularly bothered that I have no money to pay my bills though I have worked my tail off for the last three months. I am really tired of that but have manage...

gligirl · gligirl

I HAVE BEEN DATING A RECOVERING A FOR ABOUT 6 MONTHS, AND HE HAS BEEN CLEAN FOR ABOUT 2.5 YEARS, ALTHOUGH THIS IS MY FIRST RELATIONSHIP WITH AN ADDICT, I HAVE 2 COUSINS WHO WERE VERY BIG A'S FOR AS LONG AS I CAN REMEBER, WHO ALSO JUST FOUND SOBERITY. I HAVE HAD MANY CRAZY AND INSANE RELATIONSHIPS, THOUGH NON...

gknee · gknee

My newly sober AH has been out of state for the past week visiting his family. I have been talking to him every day or two and it sounds like he has had a nice time. He attended 2 AA meetings while out there and told his sisters all about his addiction and recovery work. This was huge! Here's the thing-- I...

annmarie · annmarie

Hi everyone, I'm hoping someone can give me their perspective on my situation. I'm driving myself mad at at the moment. As I get better and pull away from the disease of Aism,I can see the codependancy of my family members more clearly. There is a lot of control trying to go on. But this is commonplace in m...

kiddo · kiddo

So, Matt got out of rehab today. He called me, and we were talking, and every time he starts talking about things he had to do or still has to do I start crying. I just can't handle it anymore. He has to live with his grandparents because they feel if he just goes home he'll relapse, which I would expect of mos...

gardengal · gardengal

I was reluctant to admit I was powerless over alcohol, and I forgot that I was not powerless over myself. I had a choice, I could resume in my state of misery, insanity, worry, and sadness, or I could start living again the life I always thought it would be. Alot of us come to Alanon feeling life has deal...

Katy · Katy

What is the alchoholic and what is just the person, my husband is one year sober now, and I still get played, I'm not reacting not asking why not taking his inventary just wondering what is it, that makes a person act this way, not conveying feelings, dislikes, almost as if an enjoyment is to be had by suf...

ally · ally

(((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))))) I done it, I finally told this guy how I feel, In a moment of anger, by text.. After no contact for 9 days from both of us, I saw him going out Sat night, As I was getting dressed to go to my f2f. I had been having a few days where I was under stress, and taking it out on e...

gimmpy · gimmpy

the service for the 17 year old who died from an an overdose was today. why do some get a chance and others don't. I am awake again at 3am. My daughter and her friend feel some what guilty since they were there and couldn't help him enough when he stopped breathing. I hope the others get another chance now, b...

pabell · pabell

Our son leaves for boot camp on July 19 for 22 weeks....his Dad wants to spend time with him....our son doesn't want to hardly be in the same room as him...our son is respectful to him, they chit chat, but he is still mad at his dad for saying all the horriable things he said and did last week to me. Our son fee...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((Family))))), Hubby is back home from the hospital safe and sound. All went well with the surgery. They removed all the hardware (trust me I made sure) and put a cast on. The cast is a little higher than we thought it would be. We're guessing that the bone fractured a bit when they took the rod...

Maria123 · Maria123

It's ok to cry . . . I have been "getting busy" because when I do, I am getting better, right? I have been formulating my gratitude list which is plentiful and that should be helping, right? I have so much to be grateful for, right? Why then was I feeling blue today? There's no rhyme nor reas...

JulieLynn · JulieLynn

It's been a long time since I last posted. I started going to college and have been so busy with school. My active AH and I got into an argument over the weekend about something very stupid. When we argue, my husband will go for days acting cocky and arrogant and won't speak to me for days. I had gotten v...

IrishExport · IrishExport

Please forgive me if I come across as silly or naive - I have had no experience with legal matters before, and am from Ireland so a lot of the terminology is new to me. Anyway - here goes. My husband and I have been married 6 years - he is a binge-drinking alcoholic (meaning he doesn't drink all the time, but w...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

It used to be that I didn't have any feelings. I'd anethetised them all because of how emotional living in the alcholic insanity was. Then I found al anon. And I found every single one of my feelings. And I thought I was going to die. So when my Buddist sponsor proposed to me that I didn't have to feel som...

Steel Magnolia · Steel Magnolia

I've wanted to join this board many times.Maybe it was denial,shame or fear that kept me from here.I need help in sorting out my anger.I want to understand that it is a disease and not a decision. My fiancee of 6 years was carted of to jail for the third time in 3 years.All d.u.i related.He will more than li...

Fifi · Fifi

I am having such a hard time....knowing my ex is out there putting on his fake happy manic self, flirting, living in denial. I feel like suck a sucker for putting up with all I did the past year and a half...it is all coming to me...I feel so taken advantage of.....so cheap...so embarassed. How could I mis...

mom1973 · mom1973

Ever since I was a kid I had a strong will. If someone said dont touch it I seems I was compelled to touch what ever was forbidden. At the time I was in trouble but it has served me well. I am in the trap of trying to not touch, because I dont want to be in trouble. I seem to be surrounded by people who have had enoug...

artygirl · artygirl

Hello It's been a while since I posted, but I'm still around. In case any of you don't know my story... My ex-husband is an alcoholic and cocaine addict. I divorced him because I couldn't stand by and let him take me down with him. He nearly did take me down financially. I'm on my own now, struggling...

cytagirl · cytagirl

Am i the raving "loon" my A b/f has been calling me for the last two weeks... sometimes in reflection i think he may be right. After three years of trying to help him fight his addiction , i thought he had cracked it ... sober for 6 months , i did everything i could possibly do to make him happy ....

lin0606 · lin0606

Going through my husband's papers this morning, found this - this one fits alanon even better than AA, I think.... 1. We admitted we were powerless over nothing - that we could manage our lives perfectly and those of anyone else who would allow us. 2 Came to believe that there was no power greater than o...

nagal · nagal

if in the evenings after the kids went to bed we could sit on the couch and watch a movie with our spouse and maybe enjoy a glass of wine. Instead of hearing the sound of the 5th beer crack open the minute you walk upstairs to put the kids to bed. I wonder if people realize how lucky they are.

Genevieve · Genevieve

I would be very grateful for advice. I have been with my alcoholic s.o. for four years. We are not kids -- in fact, we are middle-aged. He is one of the "charming" variety of drunks, no Dr.Jekyl and Mr. Hyde situation. But I am at wit's end. Last fall I thought I had decided to leave him when he too...

QOD · QOD

So as of tomorrow morning, it will be one week since I have seen or heard from my AH. I am working really hard on "Not Obsessing" over his where abouts. Not knowing drives me nuts....not the "where is he & what's he doing" bit but more of the "when will he show up on my door...

Kim65 · Kim65

I didn't allow myself to question why in the heck I persisted in staying with my A as long as I did until he was gone. I've been thinking and journaling about it, comparing my A to previous relationships. Yup, lots of similarities, all three were with depressed addicts! On my part, I am an idealizer. I...

Rora · Rora

I was here many months before, some of you may remember. I stopped coming because I wasn't ready at that time to fully accept my husbands problems with addictions. After a brief seperation back in 2006, I again thought we could make our marriage survive. I could compromise with him, I could lower my sta...

Diva · Diva

Drunk and saying that he will just leave. Leave he did. He'll be home in two or three days, if the alcohol poisoning doesn't kill him. He'll be sick as a dog for a few days and apologetic. THen another year will go by, while he insists he will never do it again because next time it will kill him. THen, ou...

NANUKE · NANUKE

Tomorrow my husband and I will attend the Funeral Mass of a dear homelsss friend, Kevin, who died on the streets. We ministered to Kevin with prayer, kindness and positive encouragement. The disease of alcoholism claimed his dear life and he was drinking mouthwash in his final months to satisfy th...

lmt123 · lmt123

I was just wondering, did anyone attend the Music City Roundup, for AA and Alanon, in Nashville, TN these past few days? I was lucky enough to attend (another lady from our home group cancelled and I got her spot), and I really enjoyed hearing the AA and Alanon speakers talk about their experiences. It...

mom1973 · mom1973

I mentioned to the board that I have my grandson with me because of my daughters drinking and the fact that she can not provide for him at this time. I have never discused her problem with him. Someone sugested al a teen. How do I bring up the subject since we have never discussed it. Also no legal custody ha...

Rita G · Rita G

It's Raining, It's Pouring The old man is snoring Went to bed bumped his head couldn't get up in the morning. Ok - anybody else remember that song from elementary school??? It's been raining here for about 7 days straight and the forecast is for - Yes, you got it more RAIN. It has been a challenging day so f...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I hate my denial cloud. I really do. I had the second interview for the AmeriCorps position on Tuesday. And I don't think I got the position. I answered the questions the best I could, the best I knew how, the best I was able to, and the best way I could think of how to do it. I knew I was upset when it was all o...

kiddo · kiddo

So, I was talking to my best friend on the phone, and somehow we got on the topic of drinking, etc. Well anyway, I told him that I worried about him because he showed signs of early alcoholism, and he said, "Well so do you." I asked what he meant, and he said that I had gotten drunk almost every nig...

Fifi · Fifi

Hello everyone....I am back writing and feeling the need to really find comfort and understanding and awareness here. My 7 month sober BF of the past year and a half moved out for good 2 days ago. Well he is not sleeping here and all his things are in the basement....they too will be gone in a wwk or two...I...

cytagirl · cytagirl

I heard somewhere that alcoholism isn't a DISEASE , it's a DECISION . After 6 months of sobriety , why did my A b/f suddenly start drinking again .. It wasn't a physical craving , it was a psycological one surely ... In need of ESH here because i'm so confused , ...

tammy9462001 · tammy9462001

I am new here, i don't have anyone to talk to. I love my husband so much but he can't seem to stop drinking. He is not mean to me or our son but I feel so lonely . he does,nt understand how his drinking shuts me out. We made an agreement that I would lose weight and he would cut down on his drinking, i have los...

Dorothy · Dorothy

Hi guys, I found this on another website and thought you might like it. Quote:In order to let go of the uncontrollables and unchangeables in your life, you need to follow the words of the Prayer for Serenity by Reinhold Niebuhr. God grant me the serenity This requires that you establish a healthy spiri...

weggie · weggie

I have come to the end of my rope with my A. This weekend my son and his wife came in. The first thing my son said to me was "I see you and Dad are still not talking". Last weekend I learned that my A has a gambling problem along with his A. I have also learned that (as far as I know) he has drained so...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((Family))))), We just got back from the doctor and hubby received his medical clearance for his 2nd part of his surgery. All looks good. They will take the halo, the pins, the rods, the stitches and stables, etc out on Monday. They will then put a cast on and he has to leave that on until Septemb...

CriedOut2 · CriedOut2

I am really confused: My A husband is willing to talk about the weather, work, about someone's house repairs, etc. He will talk about almost anything except family issues or wanting to discuss us. We have been married for over 20 years but his drinking didn't get really bad until 5 years ago. He writ...

Maria123 · Maria123

I hope you all can make it. We've been having great meetings with very good attendance and have had some really healthy discussions and group conscience votes. AGENDA I. OPs Schedule II. Minutes Approval from June 3rd. III. Treasurer's Report IV. Old Business A. Rolling Scr...

mandalynn38 · mandalynn38

I have been away from the boards for a while.... I come back here from time to time to gain some insight on alanon. It has been a long journey for me to travel. But I believe I am catching on to the basics of the program. I am still in love with my A boyfriend. But it is not healthy for me to continue as it has been f...

Keme · Keme

I have been married to my AH for almost 3 yrs. This past Christmas I realized he was an A and told him so. He knew when we got married I didn't like alcohol much, and snuck out to buy it without my knowing for two years!! He would then drink it secretly. I started finding empty cans, which became empty hard liq...

pabell · pabell

I wish I could find a f2f tonight, but it's late and there isn't one....I keep replaying it in my mind...my brain is numb now.... I came home early to take our son to scouts, I missed the message that they canceled it due to the holiday tomorrow. So we started home. My son asked if he could get a taco, he was...

nagal · nagal

I am scared. I have been married to my husband for almost 7 years. I think he has been an alcolholic most of that but I have not admitted it to myself. His father and uncle are both hardcore alcoholics. I have written it off to him being young, to myself being too controlling etc. Now I realize that I was lyin...

ally · ally

(((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))I was brought up with a drinker all my life. My dad, he is not like that today.(Thank Gawd), He can have a few drinks and be okay, his personality does not change nowadays. I no longer get anxious about his drinking. But for years my mind was a box of bad memories....

nagal · nagal

I wonder if anyone has tips for me on how to "handle" the lying / sneaking etc. My husband tells me that he is no longer drinking "during the week" but I know(for a fact) that he is drinking and hiding it from me. Do I tell him I know and get accused of "keeping track" or snea...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))))) I came across this and felt I would like to share it with you. This is something I feel we can all strugle with at some time in our lives....I hope you get something from it. Let Go: Let God Fill Your Need By Mary Kupferle If you are anxious, tense, or concerne...

serendipity · serendipity

As I was driving home from my meeting I was letting myself think thoughts that make me mad and sad. I stopped myself and thought "this is my disease". This is how I make myself miserable. No one else was in the car, just me, letting thoughts make me feel something I wasn't feeling. I was actual...

QOD · QOD

OMG - I cannot STOP obsessing today over my AH. I haven't seen or heard from him since he left the house Tuesday morning for work. Not a word. Now, you'd think that I'd be used to this as it has been his behavior for the last few years. Going off on his crack binges. The difference this time is that I have...

Christy · Christy

Hi (((family))) Am back from Anchorage and had a great time. Although it's such a loooooong trip. 12 hrs from my door step to hubby's. I don't want to do it again for a while. It was after 1 a.m my time when we got there, but only 10:00 there and broad daylight..lol That's so weird. It never does get da...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

From some of the Buddist texts. Continue your recovery, even if those you love continue in self destruction (something I am reminding myself alot lately...) Live in joy, In love, Even among those who hate. Live in joy, In health, Even among the afflicted. Live in joy, In peace, Even among the trouble...

Fifi · Fifi

hello all haven't written in some time.....full time with work,kids,home and managing my now sober live-in boyfriends' moods and my reaction to them ( or attempt not to). i asked him to move out today....after a year of him abusing himself and then 7 months of his sobriety. suprisingly not m...

mom1973 · mom1973

I am watching my daughter disolve before my own eyes. She has seriuos medical problems from her alchohol use and is living across town with people who took her in from the street. Her 12 year old son lives with me. I think she is also showing signs of mental illness. I thought about having her committed bu...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I am seeing little miracles going on around me and not quite sure how to process them other than thank God daily. Last night my AH (sober 5 mos) took our 14 yr old son to a youth group. When our son came home, the first thing he said to me was, "I am so proud of dad. We went to KFC after and I accidentally kn...

Diva · Diva

I didn't cause it. I cannot control it. I cannot cure it. I guess I need some ESH here because every time he goes off on a "vacation" I remember that he was 25 years sober until I came into his life. For the last 5 years I have lost all trust in him because of the drinking binges. I have got to the poin...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Denial, Blame, etc. (Preview) This may get convoluted, so I will try to keep it brief. Yesterday evening I was upstairs folding clothes and my 7-year old daughter and a friend of hers were downstairs with AH. My daughter found a t-shirt online that she wanted to order, but her friend said, "your dad won't let you get that."...	babysteps	10	618	Jul 11, 2007 by Tiger2006
	Just doing a lot of thinking. (Preview) I was typing a response to someone a minute ago and realized I should probably start my own topic b/c my brain is just rolling right now. My AH has been gone for 1 week and 1 day now. No one has heard a word from him. He has no access to money that I know of. There is $47 left in the joint acct that I thought he wo...	QOD	2	438	Jul 11, 2007 by Fifi
	Over reacting to over reacting and the ever corrosive people pleasing. (Preview) i see msyelf so much in this woman I have to deal with that lives in my house. Either she's assailing me to eat food she's cooked in some huge gesture of making food for everyone as soon as I get in the door or she's accusing me of something. Last night I got home and I was busting to go to the bathroo...	maresie2	2	536	Jul 11, 2007 by jewely
	Letting Go (Preview) I had found this a long time ago and came across it again, so I thought I would share... *Learn How To Let Go* Letting go is the key to flowing with life and the key to having life work. At any moment, your life is exactly the way that it is. You are the way you are and the people in your life are exactly the way that t...	kissers	3	583	Jul 11, 2007 by thinkstoomuch
	trying not to over react (Preview) at present I am going through a very difficult financial time and have a number of important decisions to make. I am dealing with people who are not particularly bothered that I have no money to pay my bills though I have worked my tail off for the last three months. I am really tired of that but have manage...	maire rua	2	443	Jul 11, 2007 by maresie2
	FINSIHED WITH THIRD STEP? (Preview) I HAVE BEEN DATING A RECOVERING A FOR ABOUT 6 MONTHS, AND HE HAS BEEN CLEAN FOR ABOUT 2.5 YEARS, ALTHOUGH THIS IS MY FIRST RELATIONSHIP WITH AN ADDICT, I HAVE 2 COUSINS WHO WERE VERY BIG A'S FOR AS LONG AS I CAN REMEBER, WHO ALSO JUST FOUND SOBERITY. I HAVE HAD MANY CRAZY AND INSANE RELATIONSHIPS, THOUGH NON...	gligirl	6	1571	Jul 11, 2007 by gligirl
	Uncomfortably Numb-- too detached?? (Preview) My newly sober AH has been out of state for the past week visiting his family. I have been talking to him every day or two and it sounds like he has had a nice time. He attended 2 AA meetings while out there and told his sisters all about his addiction and recovery work. This was huge! Here's the thing-- I...	gknee	5	561	Jul 11, 2007 by ShelBell
	detatchment from controlling people (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm hoping someone can give me their perspective on my situation. I'm driving myself mad at at the moment. As I get better and pull away from the disease of Aism,I can see the codependancy of my family members more clearly. There is a lot of control trying to go on. But this is commonplace in m...	annmarie	4	598	Jul 11, 2007 by maresie2
	feeling broken (Preview) So, Matt got out of rehab today. He called me, and we were talking, and every time he starts talking about things he had to do or still has to do I start crying. I just can't handle it anymore. He has to live with his grandparents because they feel if he just goes home he'll relapse, which I would expect of mos...	kiddo	7	589	Jul 11, 2007 by Tenderheartsks
	Do you give yourself a chance to have a brighter future? (Preview) I was reluctant to admit I was powerless over alcohol, and I forgot that I was not powerless over myself. I had a choice, I could resume in my state of misery, insanity, worry, and sadness, or I could start living again the life I always thought it would be. Alot of us come to Alanon feeling life has deal...	gardengal	7	807	Jul 11, 2007 by Karilynn
	But How do we really know? (Preview) What is the alchoholic and what is just the person, my husband is one year sober now, and I still get played, I'm not reacting not asking why not taking his inventary just wondering what is it, that makes a person act this way, not conveying feelings, dislikes, almost as if an enjoyment is to be had by suf...	Katy	7	669	Jul 11, 2007 by Karilynn
	I TOLD THE TRUTH (EVENTUALLY) (Preview) (((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))))) I done it, I finally told this guy how I feel, In a moment of anger, by text.. After no contact for 9 days from both of us, I saw him going out Sat night, As I was getting dressed to go to my f2f. I had been having a few days where I was under stress, and taking it out on e...	ally	10	792	Jul 11, 2007 by jewely
	it's so sad (Preview) the service for the 17 year old who died from an an overdose was today. why do some get a chance and others don't. I am awake again at 3am. My daughter and her friend feel some what guilty since they were there and couldn't help him enough when he stopped breathing. I hope the others get another chance now, b...	gimmpy	2	480	Jul 10, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Need kid advice (Preview) Our son leaves for boot camp on July 19 for 22 weeks....his Dad wants to spend time with him....our son doesn't want to hardly be in the same room as him...our son is respectful to him, they chit chat, but he is still mad at his dad for saying all the horriable things he said and did last week to me. Our son fee...	pabell	4	568	Jul 10, 2007 by Friendofyours
	He's home! :) (Preview) ((((((((Family))))), Hubby is back home from the hospital safe and sound. All went well with the surgery. They removed all the hardware (trust me I made sure) and put a cast on. The cast is a little higher than we thought it would be. We're guessing that the bone fractured a bit when they took the rod...	Karilynn	13	767	Jul 10, 2007 by maresie2
	it's ok to cry (Preview) It's ok to cry . . . I have been "getting busy" because when I do, I am getting better, right? I have been formulating my gratitude list which is plentiful and that should be helping, right? I have so much to be grateful for, right? Why then was I feeling blue today? There's no rhyme nor reas...	Maria123	10	835	Jul 10, 2007 by bob6502
	I lost it (Preview) It's been a long time since I last posted. I started going to college and have been so busy with school. My active AH and I got into an argument over the weekend about something very stupid. When we argue, my husband will go for days acting cocky and arrogant and won't speak to me for days. I had gotten v...	JulieLynn	5	666	Jul 10, 2007 by gknee
	Just Down and Dejected... (Preview) Please forgive me if I come across as silly or naive - I have had no experience with legal matters before, and am from Ireland so a lot of the terminology is new to me. Anyway - here goes. My husband and I have been married 6 years - he is a binge-drinking alcoholic (meaning he doesn't drink all the time, but w...	IrishExport	9	689	Jul 10, 2007 by maresie2
	not sure where I'm at. But glad I'm here any way. (Preview) It used to be that I didn't have any feelings. I'd anethetised them all because of how emotional living in the alcholic insanity was. Then I found al anon. And I found every single one of my feelings. And I thought I was going to die. So when my Buddist sponsor proposed to me that I didn't have to feel som...	Tiger2006	2	589	Jul 10, 2007 by Jamekaticy
	My first time here (Preview) I've wanted to join this board many times.Maybe it was denial,shame or fear that kept me from here.I need help in sorting out my anger.I want to understand that it is a disease and not a decision. My fiancee of 6 years was carted of to jail for the third time in 3 years.All d.u.i related.He will more than li...	Steel Magnolia	10	820	Jul 9, 2007 by Steel Magnolia
	just after he has left (Preview) I am having such a hard time....knowing my ex is out there putting on his fake happy manic self, flirting, living in denial. I feel like suck a sucker for putting up with all I did the past year and a half...it is all coming to me...I feel so taken advantage of.....so cheap...so embarassed. How could I mis...	Fifi	8	517	Jul 9, 2007 by nmike
	awake and pacing (Preview) Ever since I was a kid I had a strong will. If someone said dont touch it I seems I was compelled to touch what ever was forbidden. At the time I was in trouble but it has served me well. I am in the trap of trying to not touch, because I dont want to be in trouble. I seem to be surrounded by people who have had enoug...	mom1973	5	477	Jul 9, 2007 by wp
	How low do they have to get? (Preview) Hello It's been a while since I posted, but I'm still around. In case any of you don't know my story... My ex-husband is an alcoholic and cocaine addict. I divorced him because I couldn't stand by and let him take me down with him. He nearly did take me down financially. I'm on my own now, struggling...	artygirl	9	682	Jul 9, 2007 by Beth H
	emotional rollercoaster (Preview) Am i the raving "loon" my A b/f has been calling me for the last two weeks... sometimes in reflection i think he may be right. After three years of trying to help him fight his addiction , i thought he had cracked it ... sober for 6 months , i did everything i could possibly do to make him happy ....	cytagirl	6	608	Jul 9, 2007 by Beth H
	12 steps to insanity (Preview) Going through my husband's papers this morning, found this - this one fits alanon even better than AA, I think.... 1. We admitted we were powerless over nothing - that we could manage our lives perfectly and those of anyone else who would allow us. 2 Came to believe that there was no power greater than o...	lin0606	3	640	Jul 9, 2007 by Beth H
	wouldn't it be nice (Preview) if in the evenings after the kids went to bed we could sit on the couch and watch a movie with our spouse and maybe enjoy a glass of wine. Instead of hearing the sound of the 5th beer crack open the minute you walk upstairs to put the kids to bed. I wonder if people realize how lucky they are.	nagal	11	572	Jul 9, 2007 by nagal
	between the devil and the deep blue sea (Preview) I would be very grateful for advice. I have been with my alcoholic s.o. for four years. We are not kids -- in fact, we are middle-aged. He is one of the "charming" variety of drunks, no Dr.Jekyl and Mr. Hyde situation. But I am at wit's end. Last fall I thought I had decided to leave him when he too...	Genevieve	6	550	Jul 9, 2007 by TLC2
	Baby Steps - Working on Moving On AGAIN! (Preview) So as of tomorrow morning, it will be one week since I have seen or heard from my AH. I am working really hard on "Not Obsessing" over his where abouts. Not knowing drives me nuts....not the "where is he & what's he doing" bit but more of the "when will he show up on my door...	QOD	7	567	Jul 9, 2007 by Kim65
	All that glitters . . . (Preview) I didn't allow myself to question why in the heck I persisted in staying with my A as long as I did until he was gone. I've been thinking and journaling about it, comparing my A to previous relationships. Yup, lots of similarities, all three were with depressed addicts! On my part, I am an idealizer. I...	Kim65	8	4334	Jul 9, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Well, here I am again... (long) (Preview) I was here many months before, some of you may remember. I stopped coming because I wasn't ready at that time to fully accept my husbands problems with addictions. After a brief seperation back in 2006, I again thought we could make our marriage survive. I could compromise with him, I could lower my sta...	Rora	3	536	Jul 9, 2007 by Leetle
	Well, he left on a "gentleman's vacation." (Preview) Drunk and saying that he will just leave. Leave he did. He'll be home in two or three days, if the alcohol poisoning doesn't kill him. He'll be sick as a dog for a few days and apologetic. THen another year will go by, while he insists he will never do it again because next time it will kill him. THen, ou...	Diva	14	640	Jul 9, 2007 by jewely
	Rest In Peace (Preview) Tomorrow my husband and I will attend the Funeral Mass of a dear homelsss friend, Kevin, who died on the streets. We ministered to Kevin with prayer, kindness and positive encouragement. The disease of alcoholism claimed his dear life and he was drinking mouthwash in his final months to satisfy th...	NANUKE	5	508	Jul 9, 2007 by Rita G
	Music City Roundup, Nashville, TN (Preview) I was just wondering, did anyone attend the Music City Roundup, for AA and Alanon, in Nashville, TN these past few days? I was lucky enough to attend (another lady from our home group cancelled and I got her spot), and I really enjoyed hearing the AA and Alanon speakers talk about their experiences. It...	lmt123	1	3921	Jul 9, 2007 by Jerry F
	I need advice on grandson (Preview) I mentioned to the board that I have my grandson with me because of my daughters drinking and the fact that she can not provide for him at this time. I have never discused her problem with him. Someone sugested al a teen. How do I bring up the subject since we have never discussed it. Also no legal custody ha...	mom1973	2	549	Jul 9, 2007 by abbyal
	It's Raining, It's Pouring . . . (Preview) It's Raining, It's Pouring The old man is snoring Went to bed bumped his head couldn't get up in the morning. Ok - anybody else remember that song from elementary school??? It's been raining here for about 7 days straight and the forecast is for - Yes, you got it more RAIN. It has been a challenging day so f...	Rita G	8	536	Jul 9, 2007 by lmt123
	I hate my denial cloud (Preview) I hate my denial cloud. I really do. I had the second interview for the AmeriCorps position on Tuesday. And I don't think I got the position. I answered the questions the best I could, the best I knew how, the best I was able to, and the best way I could think of how to do it. I knew I was upset when it was all o...	Tiger2006	3	462	Jul 8, 2007 by lmt123
	Argh (Preview) So, I was talking to my best friend on the phone, and somehow we got on the topic of drinking, etc. Well anyway, I told him that I worried about him because he showed signs of early alcoholism, and he said, "Well so do you." I asked what he meant, and he said that I had gotten drunk almost every nig...	kiddo	7	406	Jul 8, 2007 by kiddo
	first days...again (Preview) Hello everyone....I am back writing and feeling the need to really find comfort and understanding and awareness here. My 7 month sober BF of the past year and a half moved out for good 2 days ago. Well he is not sleeping here and all his things are in the basement....they too will be gone in a wwk or two...I...	Fifi	3	431	Jul 8, 2007 by Lunamoth
	I dont get it !!! (Preview) I heard somewhere that alcoholism isn't a DISEASE , it's a DECISION . After 6 months of sobriety , why did my A b/f suddenly start drinking again .. It wasn't a physical craving , it was a psycological one surely ... In need of ESH here because i'm so confused , ...	cytagirl	16	784	Jul 8, 2007 by Jamekaticy
	I hurt so bad... (Preview) I am new here, i don't have anyone to talk to. I love my husband so much but he can't seem to stop drinking. He is not mean to me or our son but I feel so lonely . he does,nt understand how his drinking shuts me out. We made an agreement that I would lose weight and he would cut down on his drinking, i have los...	tammy9462001	6	582	Jul 8, 2007 by tammy9462001
	one version of the Serenity Prayer (Preview) Hi guys, I found this on another website and thought you might like it. Quote:In order to let go of the uncontrollables and unchangeables in your life, you need to follow the words of the Prayer for Serenity by Reinhold Niebuhr. God grant me the serenity This requires that you establish a healthy spiri...	Dorothy	0	412	Jul 8, 2007 by Dorothy
	The secret is out (Preview) I have come to the end of my rope with my A. This weekend my son and his wife came in. The first thing my son said to me was "I see you and Dad are still not talking". Last weekend I learned that my A has a gambling problem along with his A. I have also learned that (as far as I know) he has drained so...	weggie	2	410	Jul 8, 2007 by Maria123
	Prayers for Hubby please! (Preview) (((((((Family))))), We just got back from the doctor and hubby received his medical clearance for his 2nd part of his surgery. All looks good. They will take the halo, the pins, the rods, the stitches and stables, etc out on Monday. They will then put a cast on and he has to leave that on until Septemb...	Karilynn	22	683	Jul 8, 2007 by tiredtonite
	Do A's ever care about their spouses? (Preview) I am really confused: My A husband is willing to talk about the weather, work, about someone's house repairs, etc. He will talk about almost anything except family issues or wanting to discuss us. We have been married for over 20 years but his drinking didn't get really bad until 5 years ago. He writ...	CriedOut2	15	868	Jul 8, 2007 by shoo
	July 8th Agenda - 9 p.m. Daylight Savings Time (Preview) I hope you all can make it. We've been having great meetings with very good attendance and have had some really healthy discussions and group conscience votes. AGENDA I. OPs Schedule II. Minutes Approval from June 3rd. III. Treasurer's Report IV. Old Business A. Rolling Scr...	Maria123	0	303	Jul 7, 2007 by Maria123
	Missing My Program (Preview) I have been away from the boards for a while.... I come back here from time to time to gain some insight on alanon. It has been a long journey for me to travel. But I believe I am catching on to the basics of the program. I am still in love with my A boyfriend. But it is not healthy for me to continue as it has been f...	mandalynn38	3	395	Jul 7, 2007 by Lunamoth
	Learning to trust again (Preview) I have been married to my AH for almost 3 yrs. This past Christmas I realized he was an A and told him so. He knew when we got married I didn't like alcohol much, and snuck out to buy it without my knowing for two years!! He would then drink it secretly. I started finding empty cans, which became empty hard liq...	Keme	2	557	Jul 7, 2007 by Lunamoth
	shock (Preview) I wish I could find a f2f tonight, but it's late and there isn't one....I keep replaying it in my mind...my brain is numb now.... I came home early to take our son to scouts, I missed the message that they canceled it due to the holiday tomorrow. So we started home. My son asked if he could get a taco, he was...	pabell	12	652	Jul 7, 2007 by carolena
	mom of two babies scared (Preview) I am scared. I have been married to my husband for almost 7 years. I think he has been an alcolholic most of that but I have not admitted it to myself. His father and uncle are both hardcore alcoholics. I have written it off to him being young, to myself being too controlling etc. Now I realize that I was lyin...	nagal	12	605	Jul 7, 2007 by lin0606
	HAD A GOOD MEMORY FROM CHILDHOOD (Preview) (((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))I was brought up with a drinker all my life. My dad, he is not like that today.(Thank Gawd), He can have a few drinks and be okay, his personality does not change nowadays. I no longer get anxious about his drinking. But for years my mind was a box of bad memories....	ally	1	563	Jul 7, 2007 by david62
	how am I supposed to react? (Preview) I wonder if anyone has tips for me on how to "handle" the lying / sneaking etc. My husband tells me that he is no longer drinking "during the week" but I know(for a fact) that he is drinking and hiding it from me. Do I tell him I know and get accused of "keeping track" or snea...	nagal	11	769	Jul 7, 2007 by Diva
	LET GO AND LET GOD (Preview) ((((((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))))))))) I came across this and felt I would like to share it with you. This is something I feel we can all strugle with at some time in our lives....I hope you get something from it. Let Go: Let God Fill Your Need By Mary Kupferle If you are anxious, tense, or concerne...	ally	4	3798	Jul 7, 2007 by nagal
	My disease, My program (Preview) As I was driving home from my meeting I was letting myself think thoughts that make me mad and sad. I stopped myself and thought "this is my disease". This is how I make myself miserable. No one else was in the car, just me, letting thoughts make me feel something I wasn't feeling. I was actual...	serendipity	4	487	Jul 6, 2007 by Lunamoth
	I am obsessing!! (Preview) OMG - I cannot STOP obsessing today over my AH. I haven't seen or heard from him since he left the house Tuesday morning for work. Not a word. Now, you'd think that I'd be used to this as it has been his behavior for the last few years. Going off on his crack binges. The difference this time is that I have...	QOD	5	586	Jul 6, 2007 by Friendofyours
	Alaska pics (Preview) Hi (((family))) Am back from Anchorage and had a great time. Although it's such a loooooong trip. 12 hrs from my door step to hubby's. I don't want to do it again for a while. It was after 1 a.m my time when we got there, but only 10:00 there and broad daylight..lol That's so weird. It never does get da...	Christy	6	569	Jul 6, 2007 by lilms
	Continue your recovery (Preview) From some of the Buddist texts. Continue your recovery, even if those you love continue in self destruction (something I am reminding myself alot lately...) Live in joy, In love, Even among those who hate. Live in joy, In health, Even among the afflicted. Live in joy, In peace, Even among the trouble...	Tiger2006	2	333	Jul 6, 2007 by Fifi
	help in the next stage (Preview) hello all haven't written in some time.....full time with work,kids,home and managing my now sober live-in boyfriends' moods and my reaction to them ( or attempt not to). i asked him to move out today....after a year of him abusing himself and then 7 months of his sobriety. suprisingly not m...	Fifi	9	612	Jul 6, 2007 by Fifi
	I'm so scared (Preview) I am watching my daughter disolve before my own eyes. She has seriuos medical problems from her alchohol use and is living across town with people who took her in from the street. Her 12 year old son lives with me. I think she is also showing signs of mental illness. I thought about having her committed bu...	mom1973	10	665	Jul 6, 2007 by nagal
	Little Miracles.... (Preview) I am seeing little miracles going on around me and not quite sure how to process them other than thank God daily. Last night my AH (sober 5 mos) took our 14 yr old son to a youth group. When our son came home, the first thing he said to me was, "I am so proud of dad. We went to KFC after and I accidentally kn...	Loupiness	4	510	Jul 6, 2007 by canadianguy
	I keep repeating the 3 Cs.... (Preview) I didn't cause it. I cannot control it. I cannot cure it. I guess I need some ESH here because every time he goes off on a "vacation" I remember that he was 25 years sober until I came into his life. For the last 5 years I have lost all trust in him because of the drinking binges. I have got to the poin...	Diva	18	1907	Jul 6, 2007 by ShelBell
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