The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
i see msyelf so much in this woman I have to deal with that lives in my house.
Either she's assailing me to eat food she's cooked in some huge gesture of making food for everyone as soon as I get in the door or she's accusing me of something.
Last night I got home and I was busting to go to the bathroom. I dont' do well with that. As soon as I got in the door she demanded I return some glasses to the cupboard. I was furious.
I could go into some long treaty on her boundaries. The issue that bothers me is that I have done this yo yo on people pleasing then resenting to the point of exhaustion. She does it and that is my real issue with her.
She's also stuck with a son that is basically passive aggressive to the fault and a friend who is sleeping on her floor and really not doing much. I can certainly empathise. At the same time I'm in no position to get involved, help out or help out. Talk about reforming people pleasing. Before I would have been over reacting to over reacting
Nevertheless she is taking much of her issues out on me either by compulsive people pleasing or over reacting. I have never been able to see this side of my behavior before. I always could justify my people pleasing to the end of time. I could also justify of course flying off the handle in resentment at everyone around me.
Of course I would really rather not post this. I'd much prefer to be taking her inventory and pointing out what's wrong with her.
I had no idea I was so corrosive and difficult to be around and of course living with her as difficult as it is driving me insane.
I'd love to just sit my head in the sand and pretend what bother's me is her behavior and not the reflection of what it is back in the mirror.
You've got it sister! Nothing as annoying as seeing our less-than-admirable traits in others. However-- it tends to strengthen our resolve to improve ourselves--if we are open to the lesson. My husband, who is in AA, gets really irate with fellow members who say some of the "stupid things" he used to say (not so long ago). View those people as messengers that your HP put in your way to strengthen your resolve and grow-- plus, if you can forgive them- maybe you can forgive yourself as well. just a thought- Jeanne
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In the long run the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip.- Daniel L. Reardon
