Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

norwood · norwood

Well I know it ain't been roses lately, baby, it's just been thorns And no matter what we do, nothing seems to change Love has always been my shelter, for you it's been a storm But for a while I thought we'd almost beat the rain Now there's a hole here in my pocket where all my dreams have gone Fallen out like s...

omajoy · omajoy

About all I can say about Thanksgiving is "thank God it is over"....now on to the next holiday. I maintained my resolve to not allow anyone or anything to create chaos on Thanksgiving; that was successful. We had a quiet day with my spouse . Our son came for a simple meal and we all managed to c...

afmom03 · afmom03

Happy Thanksgiving All! I'm actually just getting off the phone with my AH as I type this and dang near ready to cry because I'm not there with him. We've been separated almost 11 months now...(I left him)...and I thought I would be happy to be spending it "My Way&quo...

debilyn · debilyn

Tis my grandson,Sprout. His given name is Noah Orion. His moms name is Raini Spring. Sadly his dad is A. Thankfully I had many years of MIP to be able to guide Rain when she asked me for help. Now our Sprout is safe,sees his Daddy safely. And Rain knows to look for red flags. I am grateful to MIP becuz I looked...

maire rua · maire rua

Hi All, went for a major job interview today, did well, only problem is knew the job was gone before I went for it. Nine candidates were called and the lady in the job whom I am acquainted with was well able to let me know all the ins and outs. I have met her three times since yesterday and eventually I was sick...

Diva · Diva

A couple of replies to a post have been directed more at my response than the original poster. Why would that be? I'll tell you. When a poster writes that the A bf is abusing her both mentally and physically, I am not going to say, "Go to AlAnon meetings so that you can acquire the tools you need to make...

chick29 · chick29

When I first met my alcoholic, I very quickly realised it was too much too bear and sought out help, that how I found al anon a lady who later became a good friend rang me up and later met me and took me to my first ftf meeting. If I'mhonest I played at it and the programm, it was handy I always got a lift and at the...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hi All, So yesterday was my first holiday without my ah in over 20 yrs, and it wasn't so bad. The hardest part was when he showed up right before we were to leave (to drop off item requested by son) and started playing football with the kids. I could tell he was sad and was stalling. Earlier in the day he had...

serendipity · serendipity

I had thought that I would be spending Thanksgiving alone with the kids. No big deal, I was ok with the whole idea. I threw out an offer to a friend in the program. They accepted and we had such an awsome time. It was so nice to be with people who had no hidden agenda, no need to put down or gossip, no negativity...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I spent thanksgiving with my sister and her husband and my niece and nephew (both adults) and my mom and some neighbor friends of my sister....it was all very delicious and lovely but let me tell you, I was not really there at all. I feel like I slipped- not the bawling my head off because I set myself up aga...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Thank you all for your ESH re: my problems with my sponsor. It really kicked me in the ass (which I needed). I called her and we talked for quite a while. We are now on a weekly check-in schedule to talk each Thurs regardless if anything is "going on" for me or not. I feel much much much better. tha...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Does this mean that in another 7 days it will have been 21 and the squeezing sensation in my chest will go away and I'll feel like I can get a deep breath finally? You know someone told me last night that the actual physical addiction / brain receptors for nicotine go away after 3 days and the rest is just h...

John · John

I got over 500 replies regarding the Miracles In Progress Aftercare Recovery House Video. Your comments suggestions, questions and opinions were fabulous and surely encouraged me and will help me with polishing it up a bit as I move forward with this endeavor. Many, many thanks to those who are p...

cookie1971 · cookie1971

(((((Dear Friends)))) Happy Thanksgiving to all of you! Well today was a short work day for me as I work in retail. The A was up early this morning and by the time I left for work at 8:00AM he was drunk. This has become a matter of course for thanksgiving, so I wasn't too surprised. I was at peace all day...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

As soon as you get some sense of contact, you want to be teachers of others. This is a big mistake. -Ta-sui I know many of us will be with family in the upcoming weeks, and on today. There is a temptation to take their inventory, now that we have "seen the light and found the path." I have found, a...

kissers · kissers

I found this online after looking for codependency recovery information. http://www.coloringtherapy.com/ There are free mandalas online if you google them.

kissers · kissers

My Child Within I found my child within today, For many years so locked away, Loving, embracing, needing so much, If only I could reach in and touch. I did not know this child of mine, We were never acquainted at three or nine, But today I felt the crying inside, I'm here I shouted, come reside. We hugged ea...

izzymom · izzymom

I have been visiting here infrequently, unfortunately, but am happy to say my son has been clean and sober for a year now, married, and just opened a business. I feel with the intervention I saved my son's life. In return, I would like to send cards and gifts to the men in the house. How do I do this?

Becky1 · Becky1

My daughter is expecting, and we weren't expecting the baby until Mid-December, but she is having the labor induced Tuesday morning. Whew. Serenity prayer needed! LOL I am just in shock, lots to do before then.......daughter is doing well, they are just concerned the baby isn't growing fast eno...

jeannie024 · jeannie024

hi everyone its been a long time since ive been on i sort of gave up things have been awfull my son was framed for a murder on 17th dec 2005 he got a life sentance last year of 15 and half years, we now have a new legal team for him hoping to get an appeal or re trial my daughter tried to take her own life my brother...

Hopeless in AZ · Hopeless in AZ

I posted the other day about my mom leaving my A dad after almost 30 years of marriage. What I didn't say was that a few months prior to my mom leaving him I had attended an Al-Anon group that I wanted my mom to attend as well. I gave her some literature to it along with some group phone numbers etc. Well sh...

ddub · ddub

Been quite a week yet at this moment I feel quite calm and breathing alot to slogans so I don't get anxious about what if's during the holiday hoopla. It takes a lot of focus for me to stay on one day at a time or like I read in another post, one task at a time. I also have been thinking about this: "Pos...

debilyn · debilyn

A few years back my very brain damaged A used some wrestling thing on me and threw me to the ground. Hurt my shoulders and knees. Now the knee has weakened to the point I have torn my meniscus. My tail bone is cracked, my foot is tore up and my shoulders are so painful. Then we he the carpal tunnel in the right h...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((((Family)))))))))), Just wanted to take a few minutes to wish you all a very blessed and Happy Thanksgiving. I know there are lots of families who are traveling, may your journey be safe. May your loved ones arrive safely. To those of you who have family and friends serving in the military...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((Family))))))), A very good Sunday morning to you all. I wanted to share with you something that happened this past week. As you can probably tell from the title, hubby did indeed relapse again a couple of weeks ago. Well last Sunday while I was getting ready for work I found a bottle underne...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I am going to have the kids pick two items each that they want to have and then make all of them. We are going to put up the new fake xmas tree :) and I'll be working wed and fri night and all day sat. Perhaps some shopping friday? But I swore I wouldn't buy a thing till dec. 1. Definitely shopping for food to...

klm4446 · klm4446

I've read some other posts mentioning their A's pot or "drug" use. Now that he's gone, my A's parents say "Oh, the pot was no big deal, it was the alcohol that killed him" Before my A's accident and relapse, he rationalized to me that pot was "better than drinking"...

maresie2 · maresie2

When I look back through my time with the A there were many many times including this summer where I totally wore myself down to nothing rescuing him. Rescue is a huge motif for me in my life. I regualrly go in for this large scale assaults to help others leaving myself devastated. As you all well know si...

debilyn · debilyn

Here it is in the am. Responding to emails some things have come into my pea brain If my giant Siamesey ragdoll kitten,Fizz, will stop trying to sleep on my parrot,Reeba's stand, I may be able to get some thoughts out! Fizz jumps on cage,Ree flies and lands on my chest,goes under my covers and either che...

kissers · kissers

I had told my now ex that I did not want him calling me names. His response was, "Why didn't you tell me this earlier?" Again, the blame was placed on me. He told me I was lousy in bed. He didn't care about me at all and I think this is what hurts the most. Did he even care about me a little bit???? Ju...

gardengal · gardengal

I often wonder other than than the obvious reprocussions from living with an A, if other things seem to manifest themselves? This may sound silly however, I find it very difficult to finish a task that I am doing. I find myself wandering off and starting something else, thus everything is half a$$ed. F...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

How do you keep the focus on your self and still be in a marriage? This is my main question these days. I have been separated from my AH for 2 years so that each of us can exclusively focus on ourselves. We are now looking at easing back into a life of living together in around 6 months. I know there are no clear...

tenacious · tenacious

Why isn't this getting easier? After a long hard weekend in which promises were broken and boundaries were set (see previous post, "scared of running out of compassion") I am feeling tender and bruised and unsure how to act around A. He is entering rehab which is great but I am worried I d...

MIDGET · MIDGET

Im terrified of the Holidays.I know my A H is going to binge the entire time.Oh he may not be drunk in the am,but by 12n he will be lit like a Christmas tree.Sometimes he doesnt wait till noon.Sometimes he just sleeps it off from the night before ,and starts all over again.Im afraid that he will be drunk on T...

roxygirl5 · roxygirl5

Hi, I have a question? Does the diesease of alcohol seem to rob the alcoholics self-drive and motivation to suceed? Does it seem like they do what they have to do just to get by and nothing more??? My son works at a part-time job as a busser making minimum wage. He rents a room from some guy. Barely ma...

maresie2 · maresie2

I am up for an inerview tomorrow for another job. I really really really really need benefits and more than that I need to be able to take a break. As it is I will not be paid fot the Thanksgiving holiday or for a week and a half over Christmas. If I can get this job I will be in a much much much much better place. F...

omajoy · omajoy

Sitting at computer with coffee and congratulating myself on have had several "good" days in a row...not that what just happened is necessarily bad, but so typical and so much my prediction. Here's how it went: Ex-DIL called again just now to say grandbaby had upchucked twice during th...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I don't know why the holidays have to be so particularly difficult, I remember last year I felt sooo guilty that I didn't want the A to come over. For those of you who remember, he was extorting me with signing the papers on the house. It was hell, I didn't invite him for our son's birthday party and Chris...

roxygirl5 · roxygirl5

Hi, I was wondering what the purpose of a sponsor is? Is it for when a crisis arises you have someone to talk to? Is it a commitment where you have to call every day or once a week? Please explain? Thanks, Roxygirl5

tenacious · tenacious

Hello everyone, well the latest in my life is the my A boyfriend has broken trust blatantly two nights in a row. This comes at the end of a string of incidents and I am rubbed raw, emotionally and physically (battling the same low-level flu forever). Last night I had a lot of tears and bf responded by fir...

souljoy · souljoy

My mom used to spout of this Alanon slogan long ago when I would talk to her. I got pretty tired of the "lessons". But I knew deep down she had wisdom so I filed the things she said in my mind and went on with my life. Now it's eight years later and I'm in Alanon and trying to get my life back together...

roxygirl5 · roxygirl5

Hi I'm having a hard time understanding "detach with love"! My son is the alcoholic who is 24 yrs. old. and he lives on his own. I told him he was not allowed to spend the night at my house unless he asks me first. I have a garage with a combination and he had the combo for emergencies. Well,...

Jeff Reynolds · Jeff Reynolds

A question for those of you with A's that have established a successful long-term recovery (5+ years?) and forgive me if I sound naive. After years of successful recovery with your A, do you still keep your guard up, work your program, and take nothing at face value? In other words, does the Al-Anon a...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((((Everyone))))))) Have not heard that phrase in a long time... it was thown out in my meeting last night and although I heard many other things there that I needed to hear, probably nothing more important than that for me. I have been struggling lately with many feelings that I am trying to unde...

maresie2 · maresie2

When I was with the A I was incredibly achingly lonely. I felt most of the time like I had a huge hole inside. I was afraid to leave him for many reasons, one of them was loneliness. I felt without him I'd be lost and adrift and feel abandoned. Of course during the course of the 7 years I was with him I was abando...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I'm cleaning through my stuff at Dad's again. I just finished in my bathroom. I again have alot of the old feelings I've had as I cleaned through stuff in the past. Empty. Lonely. Sad. Hurting. The memories are reminding me of the past. And I have enough recovery now to look at the past with much more rea...

roxygirl5 · roxygirl5

Hi I'm having a hard time understanding "detach with love"! My son is the alcoholic who is 24 yrs. old. and he lives on his own. I told him he was not allowed to spend the night at my house unless he asks me first. I have a garage with a combination and he had the combo for emergencies. Well,...

kissers · kissers

My A BF started distancing from me. I give him plenty of space and I never ask for anything. It dawned on me that this is my life too and I want someone who has both feet in a relationship, wants to work things out, and doesn't bail at the first sign of discord. So, I asked for what I wanted. I was told to have a ni...

roxygirl5 · roxygirl5

Hi, I'm new to Alanon and I went to a meeting this weekend. Someone commented when dealing with the alcoholic, you need to know what your part is. Does this mean, if your an enabler? Thanks, Roxygirl5

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

will you call my mom and tell I said "what happened" ?I might have a job, but it is in Kansas.... I am mad, I can't understand it. I ca't geta job here with out a DR LC. I told this place that I can't drive because I am blind in left eye. At least I will be able to send you money. I am never going to see my k...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, Thanks to all who attended the meeting last night. It was great. One of the best meetings I have been to lately. I appreciate all the wonderful ESH, the laughs (even though at times it was hard to see my screen through the fits of laughter), and the fellowship. Once again, I woouldn't be where I am...

maresie · maresie

For the last few months since the A left the trailer I had paid for all summer he has led me to think he is homeless and has been living in his car. Today I found out he is not. He has been staying with his uncle. Admittedly it is a longlong way from where I am and hardly comfortable. At the same time he has to wor...

norwood · norwood

Our Sunday night meeting was a blast with the topic of using humor, and I was asked to share a limerick I came up with on the message board There once was a person in Alanon Who felt that their life was all but gone They went to a meeting And their anguish went fleeting And the music that played then went on and...

shadow1 · shadow1

(((((((((((((Family))))))))))))) I just thought I would stop by and give you an update. As some of you know on Sunday night he was drunk (as usual) and got very angry with me. I'm still not sure why. He was so angry that I started to fear for my safety so I called the police. They arrived and spoke to him...

cen616 · cen616

I haven't posted in a while--still trying to catch up on reading the threads. My first was just an introduction, but now I have an issue on my mind and really would like some help developing the proper perspective. This might be a bit long. My clean A and I have been together a little less than 6 month...

java · java

Thanksgiving and the holidays are such a hard time of year it seems. It puts so much stress on having the perfect holiday, when there is no such thing. The A seems to pick this time of year to go on more binges and more excuses for holiday drinking. It's got to the point that holidays are not as enjoyable for...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Today is day 12 of non smoking and it has been pulling on me for the past 3 or 4 days just one just one just one... I have been good! I have been working my booty off at 2 jobs! I work today - I got up at 6 am and will not get home until 10:30 or 11 tonight! I'm working wed, fri, and all day Sat. at the 2nd job and I am w...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, I have so much to be thankful for: my life, my job, my kids, my recovery program. This was a week from hell at work. I got thru it and I know that I have better boundaries. My AHsober came last weekend to "help" and as he was leaving dropped a bomb that he was buying land with a frien...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I just got the following two emails from my A Message header was Thanksgiving I am not invited, whats up. Your new boyfried is an ass and wont let me see my kids. I filed for the devorce and they changed the amount for support to 25 a month and said unless I am wanted on charges. I can see the kids every other w...

leenyanna · leenyanna

Does anyone know someone who has taken Ativan to help quit drinking. It is to prevents headaches and shaking.

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	detaching with love (Preview) Well I know it ain't been roses lately, baby, it's just been thorns And no matter what we do, nothing seems to change Love has always been my shelter, for you it's been a storm But for a while I thought we'd almost beat the rain Now there's a hole here in my pocket where all my dreams have gone Fallen out like s...	norwood	1	475	Nov 24, 2007 by nmike
	Thanks for being over (Preview) About all I can say about Thanksgiving is "thank God it is over"....now on to the next holiday. I maintained my resolve to not allow anyone or anything to create chaos on Thanksgiving; that was successful. We had a quiet day with my spouse . Our son came for a simple meal and we all managed to c...	omajoy	3	587	Nov 24, 2007 by nmike
	My First Holiday Alone (Preview) Happy Thanksgiving All! I'm actually just getting off the phone with my AH as I type this and dang near ready to cry because I'm not there with him. We've been separated almost 11 months now...(I left him)...and I thought I would be happy to be spending it "My Way&quo...	afmom03	4	1120	Nov 24, 2007 by maresie
	ps, the baby (Preview) Tis my grandson,Sprout. His given name is Noah Orion. His moms name is Raini Spring. Sadly his dad is A. Thankfully I had many years of MIP to be able to guide Rain when she asked me for help. Now our Sprout is safe,sees his Daddy safely. And Rain knows to look for red flags. I am grateful to MIP becuz I looked...	debilyn	4	406	Nov 24, 2007 by maresie
	job interview need to vent (Preview) Hi All, went for a major job interview today, did well, only problem is knew the job was gone before I went for it. Nine candidates were called and the lady in the job whom I am acquainted with was well able to let me know all the ins and outs. I have met her three times since yesterday and eventually I was sick...	maire rua	3	576	Nov 24, 2007 by maresie
	My two cents. (closed) (Preview) A couple of replies to a post have been directed more at my response than the original poster. Why would that be? I'll tell you. When a poster writes that the A bf is abusing her both mentally and physically, I am not going to say, "Go to AlAnon meetings so that you can acquire the tools you need to make...	Diva	19	1063	Nov 24, 2007 by tea2
	weddings and al anon (Preview) When I first met my alcoholic, I very quickly realised it was too much too bear and sought out help, that how I found al anon a lady who later became a good friend rang me up and later met me and took me to my first ftf meeting. If I'mhonest I played at it and the programm, it was handy I always got a lift and at the...	chick29	3	609	Nov 24, 2007 by Karilynn
	Post-holiday thoughts (Preview) Hi All, So yesterday was my first holiday without my ah in over 20 yrs, and it wasn't so bad. The hardest part was when he showed up right before we were to leave (to drop off item requested by son) and started playing football with the kids. I could tell he was sad and was stalling. Earlier in the day he had...	Loupiness	4	510	Nov 24, 2007 by debilyn
	I love this program (Preview) I had thought that I would be spending Thanksgiving alone with the kids. No big deal, I was ok with the whole idea. I threw out an offer to a friend in the program. They accepted and we had such an awsome time. It was so nice to be with people who had no hidden agenda, no need to put down or gossip, no negativity...	serendipity	3	460	Nov 23, 2007 by nmike
	thank you for reading (Preview) I spent thanksgiving with my sister and her husband and my niece and nephew (both adults) and my mom and some neighbor friends of my sister....it was all very delicious and lovely but let me tell you, I was not really there at all. I feel like I slipped- not the bawling my head off because I set myself up aga...	Jean4444	3	622	Nov 23, 2007 by nmike
	I talked to my sponsor (Preview) Thank you all for your ESH re: my problems with my sponsor. It really kicked me in the ass (which I needed). I called her and we talked for quite a while. We are now on a weekly check-in schedule to talk each Thurs regardless if anything is "going on" for me or not. I feel much much much better. tha...	Jean4444	0	357	Nov 23, 2007 by Jean4444
	It's been 2 weeks!! (Preview) Does this mean that in another 7 days it will have been 21 and the squeezing sensation in my chest will go away and I'll feel like I can get a deep breath finally? You know someone told me last night that the actual physical addiction / brain receptors for nicotine go away after 3 days and the rest is just h...	carolinagirl	2	399	Nov 23, 2007 by QOD
	Video Input was appreciated (Please Read) (Preview) I got over 500 replies regarding the Miracles In Progress Aftercare Recovery House Video. Your comments suggestions, questions and opinions were fabulous and surely encouraged me and will help me with polishing it up a bit as I move forward with this endeavor. Many, many thanks to those who are p...	John	3	623	Nov 23, 2007 by aunitedway
	THE SAME OLD STORY---WITH A TWIST (Preview) (((((Dear Friends)))) Happy Thanksgiving to all of you! Well today was a short work day for me as I work in retail. The A was up early this morning and by the time I left for work at 8:00AM he was drunk. This has become a matter of course for thanksgiving, so I wasn't too surprised. I was at peace all day...	cookie1971	2	780	Nov 23, 2007 by Karilynn
	"Let it begin with me" (Preview) As soon as you get some sense of contact, you want to be teachers of others. This is a big mistake. -Ta-sui I know many of us will be with family in the upcoming weeks, and on today. There is a temptation to take their inventory, now that we have "seen the light and found the path." I have found, a...	Tiger2006	3	1324	Nov 22, 2007 by cookie1971
	Coloring Therapy (Preview) I found this online after looking for codependency recovery information. http://www.coloringtherapy.com/ There are free mandalas online if you google them.	kissers	6	564	Nov 22, 2007 by kissers
	My Child Within (Preview) My Child Within I found my child within today, For many years so locked away, Loving, embracing, needing so much, If only I could reach in and touch. I did not know this child of mine, We were never acquainted at three or nine, But today I felt the crying inside, I'm here I shouted, come reside. We hugged ea...	kissers	3	643	Nov 22, 2007 by Jen
	where to sends cards and gifts to john and men. (Preview) I have been visiting here infrequently, unfortunately, but am happy to say my son has been clean and sober for a year now, married, and just opened a business. I feel with the intervention I saved my son's life. In return, I would like to send cards and gifts to the men in the house. How do I do this?	izzymom	2	539	Nov 22, 2007 by Karilynn
	Grandbaby to Arrive Tuesday! (Preview) My daughter is expecting, and we weren't expecting the baby until Mid-December, but she is having the labor induced Tuesday morning. Whew. Serenity prayer needed! LOL I am just in shock, lots to do before then.......daughter is doing well, they are just concerned the baby isn't growing fast eno...	Becky1	3	554	Nov 22, 2007 by Karilynn
	hi everyone (Preview) hi everyone its been a long time since ive been on i sort of gave up things have been awfull my son was framed for a murder on 17th dec 2005 he got a life sentance last year of 15 and half years, we now have a new legal team for him hoping to get an appeal or re trial my daughter tried to take her own life my brother...	jeannie024	5	504	Nov 22, 2007 by cookie1971
	How is Al-Anon viewed by the A? (Preview) I posted the other day about my mom leaving my A dad after almost 30 years of marriage. What I didn't say was that a few months prior to my mom leaving him I had attended an Al-Anon group that I wanted my mom to attend as well. I gave her some literature to it along with some group phone numbers etc. Well sh...	Hopeless in AZ	18	1004	Nov 21, 2007 by cookie1971
	just wondering...... (Preview) Been quite a week yet at this moment I feel quite calm and breathing alot to slogans so I don't get anxious about what if's during the holiday hoopla. It takes a lot of focus for me to stay on one day at a time or like I read in another post, one task at a time. I also have been thinking about this: "Pos...	ddub	3	590	Nov 21, 2007 by lin0606
	quick update )c: (Preview) A few years back my very brain damaged A used some wrestling thing on me and threw me to the ground. Hurt my shoulders and knees. Now the knee has weakened to the point I have torn my meniscus. My tail bone is cracked, my foot is tore up and my shoulders are so painful. Then we he the carpal tunnel in the right h...	debilyn	4	570	Nov 21, 2007 by nmike
	HAPPY THANKSGIVING! (Preview) ((((((((((Family)))))))))), Just wanted to take a few minutes to wish you all a very blessed and Happy Thanksgiving. I know there are lots of families who are traveling, may your journey be safe. May your loved ones arrive safely. To those of you who have family and friends serving in the military...	Karilynn	3	411	Nov 21, 2007 by david62
	Relapse + Honesty = Serenity? (long) (Preview) ((((((((Family))))))), A very good Sunday morning to you all. I wanted to share with you something that happened this past week. As you can probably tell from the title, hubby did indeed relapse again a couple of weeks ago. Well last Sunday while I was getting ready for work I found a bottle underne...	Karilynn	14	935	Nov 21, 2007 by Becky1
	How will you be spending the holiday? (Preview) I am going to have the kids pick two items each that they want to have and then make all of them. We are going to put up the new fake xmas tree :) and I'll be working wed and fri night and all day sat. Perhaps some shopping friday? But I swore I wouldn't buy a thing till dec. 1. Definitely shopping for food to...	carolinagirl	7	557	Nov 21, 2007 by artygirl
	pot/pill use vs. alcohol (Preview) I've read some other posts mentioning their A's pot or "drug" use. Now that he's gone, my A's parents say "Oh, the pot was no big deal, it was the alcohol that killed him" Before my A's accident and relapse, he rationalized to me that pot was "better than drinking"...	klm4446	5	590	Nov 21, 2007 by canadianguy
	not picking up the wounded birdy (Preview) When I look back through my time with the A there were many many times including this summer where I totally wore myself down to nothing rescuing him. Rescue is a huge motif for me in my life. I regualrly go in for this large scale assaults to help others leaving myself devastated. As you all well know si...	maresie2	8	743	Nov 21, 2007 by maresie2
	(c: observations from an old timer (Preview) Here it is in the am. Responding to emails some things have come into my pea brain If my giant Siamesey ragdoll kitten,Fizz, will stop trying to sleep on my parrot,Reeba's stand, I may be able to get some thoughts out! Fizz jumps on cage,Ree flies and lands on my chest,goes under my covers and either che...	debilyn	3	697	Nov 21, 2007 by maresie2
	It just dawned on me... (Preview) I had told my now ex that I did not want him calling me names. His response was, "Why didn't you tell me this earlier?" Again, the blame was placed on me. He told me I was lousy in bed. He didn't care about me at all and I think this is what hurts the most. Did he even care about me a little bit???? Ju...	kissers	5	686	Nov 21, 2007 by Leetle
	Is it just me or do others do this as well? (Preview) I often wonder other than than the obvious reprocussions from living with an A, if other things seem to manifest themselves? This may sound silly however, I find it very difficult to finish a task that I am doing. I find myself wandering off and starting something else, thus everything is half a$$ed. F...	gardengal	8	751	Nov 21, 2007 by gardengal
	Being married yet staying focused on myself/working my program/taking care of myself first. (Preview) How do you keep the focus on your self and still be in a marriage? This is my main question these days. I have been separated from my AH for 2 years so that each of us can exclusively focus on ourselves. We are now looking at easing back into a life of living together in around 6 months. I know there are no clear...	Jean4444	7	579	Nov 20, 2007 by nmike
	Feeling pressured to make a decision by A (Preview) Why isn't this getting easier? After a long hard weekend in which promises were broken and boundaries were set (see previous post, "scared of running out of compassion") I am feeling tender and bruised and unsure how to act around A. He is entering rehab which is great but I am worried I d...	tenacious	7	653	Nov 20, 2007 by stormie
	THE " HAPPY HOLIDAYS" ARENT AT MY HOUSE (Preview) Im terrified of the Holidays.I know my A H is going to binge the entire time.Oh he may not be drunk in the am,but by 12n he will be lit like a Christmas tree.Sometimes he doesnt wait till noon.Sometimes he just sleeps it off from the night before ,and starts all over again.Im afraid that he will be drunk on T...	MIDGET	7	1040	Nov 20, 2007 by nmike
	QUICK QUESTION??? (Preview) Hi, I have a question? Does the diesease of alcohol seem to rob the alcoholics self-drive and motivation to suceed? Does it seem like they do what they have to do just to get by and nothing more??? My son works at a part-time job as a busser making minimum wage. He rents a room from some guy. Barely ma...	roxygirl5	6	804	Nov 20, 2007 by nmike
	prayers please in this moring on process (Preview) I am up for an inerview tomorrow for another job. I really really really really need benefits and more than that I need to be able to take a break. As it is I will not be paid fot the Thanksgiving holiday or for a week and a half over Christmas. If I can get this job I will be in a much much much much better place. F...	maresie2	11	728	Nov 20, 2007 by Jean4444
	typical behavior! (Preview) Sitting at computer with coffee and congratulating myself on have had several "good" days in a row...not that what just happened is necessarily bad, but so typical and so much my prediction. Here's how it went: Ex-DIL called again just now to say grandbaby had upchucked twice during th...	omajoy	5	604	Nov 20, 2007 by Leetle
	Why are the holidays so difficult? (Preview) I don't know why the holidays have to be so particularly difficult, I remember last year I felt sooo guilty that I didn't want the A to come over. For those of you who remember, he was extorting me with signing the papers on the house. It was hell, I didn't invite him for our son's birthday party and Chris...	carolinagirl	5	667	Nov 20, 2007 by Jen
	PURPOSE OF A SPONSOR? (Preview) Hi, I was wondering what the purpose of a sponsor is? Is it for when a crisis arises you have someone to talk to? Is it a commitment where you have to call every day or once a week? Please explain? Thanks, Roxygirl5	roxygirl5	2	2189	Nov 20, 2007 by Jen
	Scared out running out of compassion (Preview) Hello everyone, well the latest in my life is the my A boyfriend has broken trust blatantly two nights in a row. This comes at the end of a string of incidents and I am rubbed raw, emotionally and physically (battling the same low-level flu forever). Last night I had a lot of tears and bf responded by fir...	tenacious	7	1160	Nov 20, 2007 by tenacious
	HALT (Preview) My mom used to spout of this Alanon slogan long ago when I would talk to her. I got pretty tired of the "lessons". But I knew deep down she had wisdom so I filed the things she said in my mind and went on with my life. Now it's eight years later and I'm in Alanon and trying to get my life back together...	souljoy	1	596	Nov 20, 2007 by rtexas
	HOW TO DETACH WITH LOVE? (Preview) Hi I'm having a hard time understanding "detach with love"! My son is the alcoholic who is 24 yrs. old. and he lives on his own. I told him he was not allowed to spend the night at my house unless he asks me first. I have a garage with a combination and he had the combo for emergencies. Well,...	roxygirl5	3	1855	Nov 20, 2007 by rtexas
	What Do You Do in Year 5? (Preview) A question for those of you with A's that have established a successful long-term recovery (5+ years?) and forgive me if I sound naive. After years of successful recovery with your A, do you still keep your guard up, work your program, and take nothing at face value? In other words, does the Al-Anon a...	Jeff Reynolds	8	582	Nov 20, 2007 by Jean4444
	Feelings are not Facts... (Preview) (((((((Everyone))))))) Have not heard that phrase in a long time... it was thown out in my meeting last night and although I heard many other things there that I needed to hear, probably nothing more important than that for me. I have been struggling lately with many feelings that I am trying to unde...	rtexas	5	897	Nov 20, 2007 by Karilynn
	Lonelinesss (Preview) When I was with the A I was incredibly achingly lonely. I felt most of the time like I had a huge hole inside. I was afraid to leave him for many reasons, one of them was loneliness. I felt without him I'd be lost and adrift and feel abandoned. Of course during the course of the 7 years I was with him I was abando...	maresie2	8	550	Nov 20, 2007 by bobbo
	Cleaning again (Preview) I'm cleaning through my stuff at Dad's again. I just finished in my bathroom. I again have alot of the old feelings I've had as I cleaned through stuff in the past. Empty. Lonely. Sad. Hurting. The memories are reminding me of the past. And I have enough recovery now to look at the past with much more rea...	Tiger2006	2	468	Nov 19, 2007 by Tenderheartsks
	HOW TO DETACH WITH LOVE? (Preview) Hi I'm having a hard time understanding "detach with love"! My son is the alcoholic who is 24 yrs. old. and he lives on his own. I told him he was not allowed to spend the night at my house unless he asks me first. I have a garage with a combination and he had the combo for emergencies. Well,...	roxygirl5	0	357	Nov 19, 2007 by roxygirl5
	He ended the relationship (Preview) My A BF started distancing from me. I give him plenty of space and I never ask for anything. It dawned on me that this is my life too and I want someone who has both feet in a relationship, wants to work things out, and doesn't bail at the first sign of discord. So, I asked for what I wanted. I was told to have a ni...	kissers	8	779	Nov 19, 2007 by Jean4444
	NEW TO ALANON...QUESTION? (Preview) Hi, I'm new to Alanon and I went to a meeting this weekend. Someone commented when dealing with the alcoholic, you need to know what your part is. Does this mean, if your an enabler? Thanks, Roxygirl5	roxygirl5	4	462	Nov 19, 2007 by Jean4444
	And then I get this... (Preview) will you call my mom and tell I said "what happened" ?I might have a job, but it is in Kansas.... I am mad, I can't understand it. I ca't geta job here with out a DR LC. I told this place that I can't drive because I am blind in left eye. At least I will be able to send you money. I am never going to see my k...	carolinagirl	6	569	Nov 19, 2007 by Jean4444
	RE: Sunday Night Meeting (LOL you all crack me up) (Preview) Hi all, Thanks to all who attended the meeting last night. It was great. One of the best meetings I have been to lately. I appreciate all the wonderful ESH, the laughs (even though at times it was hard to see my screen through the fits of laughter), and the fellowship. Once again, I woouldn't be where I am...	Mandy123	1	680	Nov 19, 2007 by rtexas
	update another lie upon lie upon lie (Preview) For the last few months since the A left the trailer I had paid for all summer he has led me to think he is homeless and has been living in his car. Today I found out he is not. He has been staying with his uncle. Admittedly it is a longlong way from where I am and hardly comfortable. At the same time he has to wor...	maresie	4	595	Nov 19, 2007 by maresie2
	An Alanon Limerick (Preview) Our Sunday night meeting was a blast with the topic of using humor, and I was asked to share a limerick I came up with on the message board There once was a person in Alanon Who felt that their life was all but gone They went to a meeting And their anguish went fleeting And the music that played then went on and...	norwood	0	1500	Nov 19, 2007 by norwood
	Update (Preview) (((((((((((((Family))))))))))))) I just thought I would stop by and give you an update. As some of you know on Sunday night he was drunk (as usual) and got very angry with me. I'm still not sure why. He was so angry that I started to fear for my safety so I called the police. They arrived and spoke to him...	shadow1	13	764	Nov 19, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Relapse: ESH, please (Preview) I haven't posted in a while--still trying to catch up on reading the threads. My first was just an introduction, but now I have an issue on my mind and really would like some help developing the proper perspective. This might be a bit long. My clean A and I have been together a little less than 6 month...	cen616	18	592	Nov 19, 2007 by hudsond
	Thanksgiving (Preview) Thanksgiving and the holidays are such a hard time of year it seems. It puts so much stress on having the perfect holiday, when there is no such thing. The A seems to pick this time of year to go on more binges and more excuses for holiday drinking. It's got to the point that holidays are not as enjoyable for...	java	5	465	Nov 19, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Still pushing through (Preview) Today is day 12 of non smoking and it has been pulling on me for the past 3 or 4 days just one just one just one... I have been good! I have been working my booty off at 2 jobs! I work today - I got up at 6 am and will not get home until 10:30 or 11 tonight! I'm working wed, fri, and all day Sat. at the 2nd job and I am w...	carolinagirl	0	376	Nov 19, 2007 by carolinagirl
	It stings-any esh? (Preview) Hi Alanoners, I have so much to be thankful for: my life, my job, my kids, my recovery program. This was a week from hell at work. I got thru it and I know that I have better boundaries. My AHsober came last weekend to "help" and as he was leaving dropped a bomb that he was buying land with a frien...	nmike	8	689	Nov 19, 2007 by debilyn
	I'm so ANGRY! (Preview) I just got the following two emails from my A Message header was Thanksgiving I am not invited, whats up. Your new boyfried is an ass and wont let me see my kids. I filed for the devorce and they changed the amount for support to 25 a month and said unless I am wanted on charges. I can see the kids every other w...	carolinagirl	8	497	Nov 19, 2007 by Lunamoth
	Ativan (Preview) Does anyone know someone who has taken Ativan to help quit drinking. It is to prevents headaches and shaking.	leenyanna	8	791	Nov 18, 2007 by debilyn
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.