Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

rtexas · rtexas

(((((((Everyone))))))) Have not heard that phrase in a long time... it was thown out in my meeting last night and although I heard many other things there that I needed to hear, probably nothing more important than that for me. I have been struggling lately with many feelings that I am trying to unde...

maresie2 · maresie2

When I was with the A I was incredibly achingly lonely. I felt most of the time like I had a huge hole inside. I was afraid to leave him for many reasons, one of them was loneliness. I felt without him I'd be lost and adrift and feel abandoned. Of course during the course of the 7 years I was with him I was abando...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I'm cleaning through my stuff at Dad's again. I just finished in my bathroom. I again have alot of the old feelings I've had as I cleaned through stuff in the past. Empty. Lonely. Sad. Hurting. The memories are reminding me of the past. And I have enough recovery now to look at the past with much more rea...

roxygirl5 · roxygirl5

Hi I'm having a hard time understanding "detach with love"! My son is the alcoholic who is 24 yrs. old. and he lives on his own. I told him he was not allowed to spend the night at my house unless he asks me first. I have a garage with a combination and he had the combo for emergencies. Well,...

kissers · kissers

My A BF started distancing from me. I give him plenty of space and I never ask for anything. It dawned on me that this is my life too and I want someone who has both feet in a relationship, wants to work things out, and doesn't bail at the first sign of discord. So, I asked for what I wanted. I was told to have a ni...

roxygirl5 · roxygirl5

Hi, I'm new to Alanon and I went to a meeting this weekend. Someone commented when dealing with the alcoholic, you need to know what your part is. Does this mean, if your an enabler? Thanks, Roxygirl5

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

will you call my mom and tell I said "what happened" ?I might have a job, but it is in Kansas.... I am mad, I can't understand it. I ca't geta job here with out a DR LC. I told this place that I can't drive because I am blind in left eye. At least I will be able to send you money. I am never going to see my k...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, Thanks to all who attended the meeting last night. It was great. One of the best meetings I have been to lately. I appreciate all the wonderful ESH, the laughs (even though at times it was hard to see my screen through the fits of laughter), and the fellowship. Once again, I woouldn't be where I am...

maresie · maresie

For the last few months since the A left the trailer I had paid for all summer he has led me to think he is homeless and has been living in his car. Today I found out he is not. He has been staying with his uncle. Admittedly it is a longlong way from where I am and hardly comfortable. At the same time he has to wor...

norwood · norwood

Our Sunday night meeting was a blast with the topic of using humor, and I was asked to share a limerick I came up with on the message board There once was a person in Alanon Who felt that their life was all but gone They went to a meeting And their anguish went fleeting And the music that played then went on and...

shadow1 · shadow1

(((((((((((((Family))))))))))))) I just thought I would stop by and give you an update. As some of you know on Sunday night he was drunk (as usual) and got very angry with me. I'm still not sure why. He was so angry that I started to fear for my safety so I called the police. They arrived and spoke to him...

cen616 · cen616

I haven't posted in a while--still trying to catch up on reading the threads. My first was just an introduction, but now I have an issue on my mind and really would like some help developing the proper perspective. This might be a bit long. My clean A and I have been together a little less than 6 month...

java · java

Thanksgiving and the holidays are such a hard time of year it seems. It puts so much stress on having the perfect holiday, when there is no such thing. The A seems to pick this time of year to go on more binges and more excuses for holiday drinking. It's got to the point that holidays are not as enjoyable for...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Today is day 12 of non smoking and it has been pulling on me for the past 3 or 4 days just one just one just one... I have been good! I have been working my booty off at 2 jobs! I work today - I got up at 6 am and will not get home until 10:30 or 11 tonight! I'm working wed, fri, and all day Sat. at the 2nd job and I am w...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, I have so much to be thankful for: my life, my job, my kids, my recovery program. This was a week from hell at work. I got thru it and I know that I have better boundaries. My AHsober came last weekend to "help" and as he was leaving dropped a bomb that he was buying land with a frien...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I just got the following two emails from my A Message header was Thanksgiving I am not invited, whats up. Your new boyfried is an ass and wont let me see my kids. I filed for the devorce and they changed the amount for support to 25 a month and said unless I am wanted on charges. I can see the kids every other w...

leenyanna · leenyanna

Does anyone know someone who has taken Ativan to help quit drinking. It is to prevents headaches and shaking.

Chetch · Chetch

Hi All, I'm back again. As my husband tells me nothing about his upcoming DUI hearing/trial, I was home alone last night and took the oppurtunity to look at his email. I know his attorney's name, so I just looked for those emails. Well, he had emailed his attorney, now bear in mind that my husband is an...

stormie · stormie

I'm new to this board. I just spent about a hour reading posts and decided to give this a whirl. I've been separated from my AH for almost 6 months. After 30-something years of marriage, I decided that I could not live with alcoholism any longer. My once gentle, soft-spoken, good-hearted husband ha...

optimistundone · optimistundone

A quick review of my situation. H and I have been together since high school (15 years) and married 7. We have a 6 year old and an 8 month old baby. He abused drugs before he met me, quit when we started dating for 2 years, smoked pot and binge drank pretty much every day in college, quit smoking pot so that...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi family, Just a gentle reminder that the Sunday night meeting starts earlier, 4pm pacific. Hope to see you all there :) And just a heads up. The Topics will be Humor and Healing in alanon. Pages 322 and 323 in a Courage to Change :). Hope to see you there. Yours in recovery, Mandy

twinkie · twinkie

Have been working the program for about a year and a half now - so great and learned to detach with Love. My A went into rehab and has been working a program for himself now for the past 4 months. After he got out I set some strong boundaries and said I would be willing to date but it had to be at a slow pace unti...

CalVal · CalVal

Hello I'm new here, I have been married to an alcoholic for 30 years (my god it has been a LONG time). Anyway we have been through all the ups and downs through the years of him being sober for long periods of time and then binges for months on end. But right now I am at a loss as what to do and so fed up with what he...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Ok so I quit smoking last Wednesday night so this is technically day nine. Yay for me! No cigarettes... Last night for some reason I was having VERY strong cravings and I tried to go out the door and the kids barricaded me in LOL one on the inside and one outside holding the door closed. Then when I final...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I HAVE a reputation at work for being a strict boss. One day I was in the break room with another manager. I reached into the refrigerator for my lunch, which was packed in an Ace Hardware paper bag. My co-worker stopped mid-bite and stared at me, looking a little tense. When I pulled my sandwich out of the...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have been getting tons of emails from the A lately and the last few have been interesting. One said we need to get together and talk about filing for divorce (I get those about once a week) and this time he added that if he doesn't hear from me by next week he's going to go ahead and file himself. My thinkin...

Positivelydee · Positivelydee

As many of you know, I had to put my precious Buster Cat down a week and a half ago ~ and it has been excruciatingly painful. My husband and I have been doing nothing but eating and crying and eating some more. This past Wednesday we picked up his ashes - which in a weird sort of way was comforting - he was home....

kikgirl517 · kikgirl517

I'm new to this board. I am 25 years old and am from Michigan. My boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic and recovering cocaine addict. He also smoked pot daily for the first two and a half years of our relationship. I am a non-alcoholic non-drinker. I have been to some Al-Anon meetings but have a hard time g...

Jill · Jill

help! something so trivial has robbed me of my day. I am reacting to minor day to day irritations at work - it's really embarassing to react to them but today they add up to to much. well from there it spiralled into other topics and by the time I reached my office I was not my highest self. I spent the day tryi...

lynnMat · lynnMat

I posted my dilemma about my husband who is an A and didn't stop drinking even after my daughter was born. Last night we got into an arguement and I locked my bedroom door. He has never been violent in the past, but he tried to storm into the room and when he found out that it was locked, he kicked in the door...

marmare · marmare

My daughter in-law is home. We have had to jump through many hoops to get assitance with her perscriptions. One perscription is $1200!!! Her medicade did not follow her from GA because medicade is state...so no insurance (my son is union but his medical doesn't start for 30 or 60 days...I made lots o...

omajoy · omajoy

I read two posts this morning where the action mentioned to get rid of the A was to "send him home to his mom". I know this is just desperation talking to get rid of him. Moms can't handle your A any better than you can. If she could, she would have by now. She didn't cause it, she can't contro...

Hopeless in AZ · Hopeless in AZ

Hello All, I haven't been here in a while, but I'm back for some thoughts and advice. The Alcoholic in my life is my dad. He's drank my entire life (I'm 27), and after almost 30 years of marriage my mom finally left my dad early this year. She just packed her and my little brother's things one day after o...

lynnMat · lynnMat

this is my first post. i grew up with an alcoholic father and ended up marrying an A too. he's a doctor and drinks 1-2 bottles of wine after work. he promised to quit after we had our baby, about a year ago, but the drinking and isolation in his home office has continued. I used to drink occ. but was neve...

ddub · ddub

I am so frustrated with the levels of acceptance there are. I had compassion for awhile but now I am having a temper tantrum (in my head) because I want to change things I cannot change. I have to accept my fantasy is not reality - fine, phooey!! Not much is going to change but me......at least there is t...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

A Letter to my daughter/son My dear child It is never too late, I am told for anything, but sometimes it is too little just to admit that I was not a good mother during your formative years. However, I am attempting to say I am so sorry. For not being there when you needed me to beFor shouting at you [althoug...

maresie2 · maresie2

The holidays are a tough time for me. From day one on the holidays the A never did take me into consideraiton. Back in the day when we had money I once arranged a wonderful vacation for us. I have made all kinds of excuses but basically he allowed his addiction to ruin the holiday. I had my own issues around m...

spirit · spirit

Hi, I am living with an alcholic and at times it is not good. The verbal assalts are so rough, I find myself apoligizing for things that i didnt do and i fear the abandonment due to childhood stuff. This weekend I was really not good but I found comfort and people to talk with in the chat room here at alanon. T...

Kerowyn · Kerowyn

I was coming on here regularly for a while - right about the time that I realized that the A in my life (live-in bf) was really an alcoholic and out of control. RIght now I'm just venting - and breathing a sigh of relief. We lived together for about a year and 4 days. WOW!! Many episodes transpired, car a...

klm4446 · klm4446

I have not been to board for about 2 mos. Was feeling stronger and very busy with kids but seem to have crashed again recently. Just got the police report back on my BF's 8/1 fatal DUI crash. Blood alcohol was .23. Still having incredible guilt that I did not hear him leave the house that night or fores...

startingtoseethelight · startingtoseethelight

AH and I both had meltdowns Friday night. He'd lost his 3rd job this year and I told him when he started it that when this job is over so are we. When I left for work Friday morning I told him we needed to talk when I get home about splitting up. He took the opportunity to hit the bar and get drunk. He left me a...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I gotta make it so that if the AH screws everything up, I don't get screwed up right along it. Sometimes I have to reword things so that they will sink in. Maybe I just need to cover my ears with my hands and sing: (to the tune of "figaro") not my problem not my problem not my problem I actually feel...

maresie2 · maresie2

As you all know I really sweated to get the current job I have now which is a pretty long commute from my house. I leave my house at 6:00 a.m and rarely get back to the house till 7:00 p.m Then I often do another 2 hours or so at the 2nd job on top of that. I've been putting feelers out for a better job for a while. I d...

omajoy · omajoy

I have spent my entire life being a helpful, compassionate person. Most of the time those with whom I have a relationship return that to me. I have no experience with being hated. Now my worst case scenario has happened. Last night my ex DIL came to pick up the grandbaby as she does each day; my husband and...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I took a second job delivering pizzas for Dominos (don't freak out Diva :) so now I am working an insane amount and trying to figure out if I can really balance all this. I worked the last two days on my days off from the regular job which I am at now. I will probably be working nights from 7-9 during the week...

Godsgrl · Godsgrl

My hubby is a drug user and an occasional drinker. He got drunk this last weekend and became very verbal abusive (again) I've had enough so I've decided to kick him out. He is playing on my heartstring and I feel lower than a snakes belly right now. He says where will I go? I have no place to stay. I want to yel...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

This is how I feel. If I sleep my brain won't hurt! I have worked on Step 4 for a couple of hours looking at my inventory. And I simply do not know what to do with it. It seems like I will NEVER ever get past this step as I simply have too much to put right. I just do not know what to do next. ...

lin0606 · lin0606

I've got a difficult situation to deal with, and I'd like some input on the alanon perspective. It's a long story, but I'd like to lay it out to get it straight in my own mind. My husband's younger sister was a world traveller in her youth, moved back to their home city about 20 years ago, pregnant and sing...

maresie2 · maresie2

I find I am having to confront another fantasy here. I did not want to leave the A because I had this fantasy about he would at some point change. I've been gone 6 months now, if anything he is worse than he has ever been. Now I find I am confronting another fantasy that I would fall on my feet and not have to wor...

omajoy · omajoy

I have written three posts tonight trying to unload my grief and hopelessness. I have deleted them and have decided that perhaps I try too hard. Perhaps it is best to shut the heck up and take what has been dealt to me. I have lost my little family to alcohol and divorce. I have lost the great relationship I...

Lauren ashley · Lauren ashley

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there: they serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be: your roommate, neighbor, professor, long-lost friend, lover o...

serenity62 · serenity62

MIP November business meeting: November 11/07 Chair opened meeting with the Serenity Prayer, 1st thing on agenda is OP schedule, which was posted along with a description of the requirements to be an OP. October Minutes were approved as written. Treasury report was given by dot: She reported t...

Positivelydee · Positivelydee

Okay, I am fortunate enough to have a "long" weekend in that I don't have work tomorrow (veteran's day) ... My intention was to work (finish) my step 4 Ahhhh intentions I have been working on (or I usually say "procrastinating on") Step 4 since JUNE I keep getting "stuck&qu...

islu1953 · islu1953

my dad is an alcholic. he has been for a couple years now. he stopped for a couple weeks when my mom gave him the ultimatum. i came home tonight, and he started again. i should be used to it by now, but everytime he starts up again i am just so hurt and angry. my mom wants to leave him- but cant, because of us, &qu...

cookie1971 · cookie1971

Well the AH hasn't had a drink for 3 days. But he's driving me insane. He wants to argue with me every minute of every day. I haven't been returning his arguments until today. I just lost it. The argument was over something stupid and I just went nuts. Usually I can busy myself with housework or something a...

Christy · Christy

Loupiness · Loupiness

It never ceases to amaze me how my ah can turn anything and everything into blame on my part. Somehow, I think many of you can relate! Some background - ah has been out of house for 6 mos. He sees the kids a lot, but not on a regular schedule; mostly when convenient for him, but at least 5-6 times a week. Has ha...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

AH was real drunk and I sneaky asked about the court summons he got in the paper. He told me it was for open container and that his drivers liscence has been suspended. It is very likely that he will not remember telling me this. My mind is still processing this information. But I can say, he is the only one w...

Belladay · Belladay

Updating my last post: I passed! It was so awesome! I mean the test was really hard but I gave it all I had, took over two hours. I checked and rechecked and then turned it in. I had to check online from my desk at work and when I read I passed I was just so relieved. Everyone at work crowded around and we just che...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((Family))))), Just wanted to take the time to thank all the veterans today. My Dad, Uncles and Grandfathers were all vets. Hubby was in the Navy too and I have many friends who are still serving. Thank you for your service. To all those out there serving thank you too. To the families, th...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Feelings are not Facts... (Preview) (((((((Everyone))))))) Have not heard that phrase in a long time... it was thown out in my meeting last night and although I heard many other things there that I needed to hear, probably nothing more important than that for me. I have been struggling lately with many feelings that I am trying to unde...	rtexas	5	701	Nov 20, 2007 by Karilynn
	Lonelinesss (Preview) When I was with the A I was incredibly achingly lonely. I felt most of the time like I had a huge hole inside. I was afraid to leave him for many reasons, one of them was loneliness. I felt without him I'd be lost and adrift and feel abandoned. Of course during the course of the 7 years I was with him I was abando...	maresie2	8	426	Nov 20, 2007 by bobbo
	Cleaning again (Preview) I'm cleaning through my stuff at Dad's again. I just finished in my bathroom. I again have alot of the old feelings I've had as I cleaned through stuff in the past. Empty. Lonely. Sad. Hurting. The memories are reminding me of the past. And I have enough recovery now to look at the past with much more rea...	Tiger2006	2	373	Nov 19, 2007 by Tenderheartsks
	HOW TO DETACH WITH LOVE? (Preview) Hi I'm having a hard time understanding "detach with love"! My son is the alcoholic who is 24 yrs. old. and he lives on his own. I told him he was not allowed to spend the night at my house unless he asks me first. I have a garage with a combination and he had the combo for emergencies. Well,...	roxygirl5	0	264	Nov 19, 2007 by roxygirl5
	He ended the relationship (Preview) My A BF started distancing from me. I give him plenty of space and I never ask for anything. It dawned on me that this is my life too and I want someone who has both feet in a relationship, wants to work things out, and doesn't bail at the first sign of discord. So, I asked for what I wanted. I was told to have a ni...	kissers	8	693	Nov 19, 2007 by Jean4444
	NEW TO ALANON...QUESTION? (Preview) Hi, I'm new to Alanon and I went to a meeting this weekend. Someone commented when dealing with the alcoholic, you need to know what your part is. Does this mean, if your an enabler? Thanks, Roxygirl5	roxygirl5	4	372	Nov 19, 2007 by Jean4444
	And then I get this... (Preview) will you call my mom and tell I said "what happened" ?I might have a job, but it is in Kansas.... I am mad, I can't understand it. I ca't geta job here with out a DR LC. I told this place that I can't drive because I am blind in left eye. At least I will be able to send you money. I am never going to see my k...	carolinagirl	6	475	Nov 19, 2007 by Jean4444
	RE: Sunday Night Meeting (LOL you all crack me up) (Preview) Hi all, Thanks to all who attended the meeting last night. It was great. One of the best meetings I have been to lately. I appreciate all the wonderful ESH, the laughs (even though at times it was hard to see my screen through the fits of laughter), and the fellowship. Once again, I woouldn't be where I am...	Mandy123	1	562	Nov 19, 2007 by rtexas
	update another lie upon lie upon lie (Preview) For the last few months since the A left the trailer I had paid for all summer he has led me to think he is homeless and has been living in his car. Today I found out he is not. He has been staying with his uncle. Admittedly it is a longlong way from where I am and hardly comfortable. At the same time he has to wor...	maresie	4	508	Nov 19, 2007 by maresie2
	An Alanon Limerick (Preview) Our Sunday night meeting was a blast with the topic of using humor, and I was asked to share a limerick I came up with on the message board There once was a person in Alanon Who felt that their life was all but gone They went to a meeting And their anguish went fleeting And the music that played then went on and...	norwood	0	1392	Nov 19, 2007 by norwood
	Update (Preview) (((((((((((((Family))))))))))))) I just thought I would stop by and give you an update. As some of you know on Sunday night he was drunk (as usual) and got very angry with me. I'm still not sure why. He was so angry that I started to fear for my safety so I called the police. They arrived and spoke to him...	shadow1	13	642	Nov 19, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Relapse: ESH, please (Preview) I haven't posted in a while--still trying to catch up on reading the threads. My first was just an introduction, but now I have an issue on my mind and really would like some help developing the proper perspective. This might be a bit long. My clean A and I have been together a little less than 6 month...	cen616	18	498	Nov 19, 2007 by hudsond
	Thanksgiving (Preview) Thanksgiving and the holidays are such a hard time of year it seems. It puts so much stress on having the perfect holiday, when there is no such thing. The A seems to pick this time of year to go on more binges and more excuses for holiday drinking. It's got to the point that holidays are not as enjoyable for...	java	5	348	Nov 19, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Still pushing through (Preview) Today is day 12 of non smoking and it has been pulling on me for the past 3 or 4 days just one just one just one... I have been good! I have been working my booty off at 2 jobs! I work today - I got up at 6 am and will not get home until 10:30 or 11 tonight! I'm working wed, fri, and all day Sat. at the 2nd job and I am w...	carolinagirl	0	289	Nov 19, 2007 by carolinagirl
	It stings-any esh? (Preview) Hi Alanoners, I have so much to be thankful for: my life, my job, my kids, my recovery program. This was a week from hell at work. I got thru it and I know that I have better boundaries. My AHsober came last weekend to "help" and as he was leaving dropped a bomb that he was buying land with a frien...	nmike	8	594	Nov 19, 2007 by debilyn
	I'm so ANGRY! (Preview) I just got the following two emails from my A Message header was Thanksgiving I am not invited, whats up. Your new boyfried is an ass and wont let me see my kids. I filed for the devorce and they changed the amount for support to 25 a month and said unless I am wanted on charges. I can see the kids every other w...	carolinagirl	8	418	Nov 19, 2007 by Lunamoth
	Ativan (Preview) Does anyone know someone who has taken Ativan to help quit drinking. It is to prevents headaches and shaking.	leenyanna	8	671	Nov 18, 2007 by debilyn
	My husband's DUI (Preview) Hi All, I'm back again. As my husband tells me nothing about his upcoming DUI hearing/trial, I was home alone last night and took the oppurtunity to look at his email. I know his attorney's name, so I just looked for those emails. Well, he had emailed his attorney, now bear in mind that my husband is an...	Chetch	9	388	Nov 18, 2007 by maresie
	Recently Separated from My AH of 33 Years (Preview) I'm new to this board. I just spent about a hour reading posts and decided to give this a whirl. I've been separated from my AH for almost 6 months. After 30-something years of marriage, I decided that I could not live with alcoholism any longer. My once gentle, soft-spoken, good-hearted husband ha...	stormie	5	580	Nov 18, 2007 by stormie
	New here and some questions....... (Preview) A quick review of my situation. H and I have been together since high school (15 years) and married 7. We have a 6 year old and an 8 month old baby. He abused drugs before he met me, quit when we started dating for 2 years, smoked pot and binge drank pretty much every day in college, quit smoking pot so that...	optimistundone	5	478	Nov 18, 2007 by optimistundone
	Sunday Night Meeting (Preview) Hi family, Just a gentle reminder that the Sunday night meeting starts earlier, 4pm pacific. Hope to see you all there :) And just a heads up. The Topics will be Humor and Healing in alanon. Pages 322 and 323 in a Courage to Change :). Hope to see you there. Yours in recovery, Mandy	Mandy123	0	259	Nov 18, 2007 by Mandy123
	so painful.. (Preview) Have been working the program for about a year and a half now - so great and learned to detach with Love. My A went into rehab and has been working a program for himself now for the past 4 months. After he got out I set some strong boundaries and said I would be willing to date but it had to be at a slow pace unti...	twinkie	3	363	Nov 18, 2007 by Karilynn
	New here and feeling LOST! (Preview) Hello I'm new here, I have been married to an alcoholic for 30 years (my god it has been a LONG time). Anyway we have been through all the ups and downs through the years of him being sober for long periods of time and then binges for months on end. But right now I am at a loss as what to do and so fed up with what he...	CalVal	7	559	Nov 18, 2007 by Jean4444
	Day NINE! (Preview) Ok so I quit smoking last Wednesday night so this is technically day nine. Yay for me! No cigarettes... Last night for some reason I was having VERY strong cravings and I tried to go out the door and the kids barricaded me in LOL one on the inside and one outside holding the door closed. Then when I final...	carolinagirl	7	440	Nov 17, 2007 by Diva
	Learning to lighten up and mellow out (Preview) I HAVE a reputation at work for being a strict boss. One day I was in the break room with another manager. I reached into the refrigerator for my lunch, which was packed in an Ace Hardware paper bag. My co-worker stopped mid-bite and stared at me, looking a little tense. When I pulled my sandwich out of the...	Tiger2006	6	881	Nov 17, 2007 by Jean4444
	Venting (Preview) I have been getting tons of emails from the A lately and the last few have been interesting. One said we need to get together and talk about filing for divorce (I get those about once a week) and this time he added that if he doesn't hear from me by next week he's going to go ahead and file himself. My thinkin...	carolinagirl	8	364	Nov 17, 2007 by Jean4444
	Eating out of control (Preview) As many of you know, I had to put my precious Buster Cat down a week and a half ago ~ and it has been excruciatingly painful. My husband and I have been doing nothing but eating and crying and eating some more. This past Wednesday we picked up his ashes - which in a weird sort of way was comforting - he was home....	Positivelydee	2	393	Nov 17, 2007 by bob6502
	Hey everyone :) (Preview) I'm new to this board. I am 25 years old and am from Michigan. My boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic and recovering cocaine addict. He also smoked pot daily for the first two and a half years of our relationship. I am a non-alcoholic non-drinker. I have been to some Al-Anon meetings but have a hard time g...	kikgirl517	3	300	Nov 16, 2007 by Positivelydee
	need ESH on resenting (Preview) help! something so trivial has robbed me of my day. I am reacting to minor day to day irritations at work - it's really embarassing to react to them but today they add up to to much. well from there it spiralled into other topics and by the time I reached my office I was not my highest self. I spent the day tryi...	Jill	5	703	Nov 16, 2007 by Jill
	so upset i can't eat (Preview) I posted my dilemma about my husband who is an A and didn't stop drinking even after my daughter was born. Last night we got into an arguement and I locked my bedroom door. He has never been violent in the past, but he tried to storm into the room and when he found out that it was locked, he kicked in the door...	lynnMat	2	402	Nov 16, 2007 by debilyn
	Daughter in-law update (Preview) My daughter in-law is home. We have had to jump through many hoops to get assitance with her perscriptions. One perscription is $1200!!! Her medicade did not follow her from GA because medicade is state...so no insurance (my son is union but his medical doesn't start for 30 or 60 days...I made lots o...	marmare	4	391	Nov 16, 2007 by belle1
	sending the A home to mom (Preview) I read two posts this morning where the action mentioned to get rid of the A was to "send him home to his mom". I know this is just desperation talking to get rid of him. Moms can't handle your A any better than you can. If she could, she would have by now. She didn't cause it, she can't contro...	omajoy	3	488	Nov 16, 2007 by lilms
	How do you prepare yourself? (Preview) Hello All, I haven't been here in a while, but I'm back for some thoughts and advice. The Alcoholic in my life is my dad. He's drank my entire life (I'm 27), and after almost 30 years of marriage my mom finally left my dad early this year. She just packed her and my little brother's things one day after o...	Hopeless in AZ	9	544	Nov 16, 2007 by Jeff Reynolds
	beginning phases (Preview) this is my first post. i grew up with an alcoholic father and ended up marrying an A too. he's a doctor and drinks 1-2 bottles of wine after work. he promised to quit after we had our baby, about a year ago, but the drinking and isolation in his home office has continued. I used to drink occ. but was neve...	lynnMat	3	523	Nov 16, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Acceptance (Preview) I am so frustrated with the levels of acceptance there are. I had compassion for awhile but now I am having a temper tantrum (in my head) because I want to change things I cannot change. I have to accept my fantasy is not reality - fine, phooey!! Not much is going to change but me......at least there is t...	ddub	2	316	Nov 15, 2007 by nmike
	Unconditional apology... (Preview) A Letter to my daughter/son My dear child It is never too late, I am told for anything, but sometimes it is too little just to admit that I was not a good mother during your formative years. However, I am attempting to say I am so sorry. For not being there when you needed me to beFor shouting at you [althoug...	Heartbroken	2	591	Nov 15, 2007 by Positivelydee
	Grief the holidays (Preview) The holidays are a tough time for me. From day one on the holidays the A never did take me into consideraiton. Back in the day when we had money I once arranged a wonderful vacation for us. I have made all kinds of excuses but basically he allowed his addiction to ruin the holiday. I had my own issues around m...	maresie2	1	378	Nov 15, 2007 by Positivelydee
	Thank you everyone in Chat room (Preview) Hi, I am living with an alcholic and at times it is not good. The verbal assalts are so rough, I find myself apoligizing for things that i didnt do and i fear the abandonment due to childhood stuff. This weekend I was really not good but I found comfort and people to talk with in the chat room here at alanon. T...	spirit	3	422	Nov 15, 2007 by spirit
	Finally had it (Preview) I was coming on here regularly for a while - right about the time that I realized that the A in my life (live-in bf) was really an alcoholic and out of control. RIght now I'm just venting - and breathing a sigh of relief. We lived together for about a year and 4 days. WOW!! Many episodes transpired, car a...	Kerowyn	3	309	Nov 15, 2007 by Kim65
	3 months later (Preview) I have not been to board for about 2 mos. Was feeling stronger and very busy with kids but seem to have crashed again recently. Just got the police report back on my BF's 8/1 fatal DUI crash. Blood alcohol was .23. Still having incredible guilt that I did not hear him leave the house that night or fores...	klm4446	6	477	Nov 15, 2007 by maresie2
	Glad I found you (Preview) AH and I both had meltdowns Friday night. He'd lost his 3rd job this year and I told him when he started it that when this job is over so are we. When I left for work Friday morning I told him we needed to talk when I get home about splitting up. He took the opportunity to hit the bar and get drunk. He left me a...	startingtoseethelight	3	480	Nov 15, 2007 by Kerowyn
	self help (Preview) I gotta make it so that if the AH screws everything up, I don't get screwed up right along it. Sometimes I have to reword things so that they will sink in. Maybe I just need to cover my ears with my hands and sing: (to the tune of "figaro") not my problem not my problem not my problem I actually feel...	RainyJamie	2	329	Nov 15, 2007 by canadianguy
	hard times and more hard times (Preview) As you all know I really sweated to get the current job I have now which is a pretty long commute from my house. I leave my house at 6:00 a.m and rarely get back to the house till 7:00 p.m Then I often do another 2 hours or so at the 2nd job on top of that. I've been putting feelers out for a better job for a while. I d...	maresie2	4	552	Nov 15, 2007 by maire rua
	worst case scenario reality (Preview) I have spent my entire life being a helpful, compassionate person. Most of the time those with whom I have a relationship return that to me. I have no experience with being hated. Now my worst case scenario has happened. Last night my ex DIL came to pick up the grandbaby as she does each day; my husband and...	omajoy	9	594	Nov 15, 2007 by DD
	Second Job and MAMA guilt (Preview) I took a second job delivering pizzas for Dominos (don't freak out Diva :) so now I am working an insane amount and trying to figure out if I can really balance all this. I worked the last two days on my days off from the regular job which I am at now. I will probably be working nights from 7-9 during the week...	carolinagirl	3	543	Nov 14, 2007 by maresie2
	New here (Preview) My hubby is a drug user and an occasional drinker. He got drunk this last weekend and became very verbal abusive (again) I've had enough so I've decided to kick him out. He is playing on my heartstring and I feel lower than a snakes belly right now. He says where will I go? I have no place to stay. I want to yel...	Godsgrl	2	407	Nov 14, 2007 by Kim65
	My brain hurts ... I just do not know what to do next! (Preview) This is how I feel. If I sleep my brain won't hurt! I have worked on Step 4 for a couple of hours looking at my inventory. And I simply do not know what to do with it. It seems like I will NEVER ever get past this step as I simply have too much to put right. I just do not know what to do next. ...	Heartbroken	11	704	Nov 14, 2007 by barisax
	Help me Clarify my Thoughts (Preview) I've got a difficult situation to deal with, and I'd like some input on the alanon perspective. It's a long story, but I'd like to lay it out to get it straight in my own mind. My husband's younger sister was a world traveller in her youth, moved back to their home city about 20 years ago, pregnant and sing...	lin0606	8	587	Nov 14, 2007 by greta
	slogging through molaases (Preview) I find I am having to confront another fantasy here. I did not want to leave the A because I had this fantasy about he would at some point change. I've been gone 6 months now, if anything he is worse than he has ever been. Now I find I am confronting another fantasy that I would fall on my feet and not have to wor...	maresie2	3	548	Nov 14, 2007 by carolinagirl
	I think I might as well shut up (Preview) I have written three posts tonight trying to unload my grief and hopelessness. I have deleted them and have decided that perhaps I try too hard. Perhaps it is best to shut the heck up and take what has been dealt to me. I have lost my little family to alcohol and divorce. I have lost the great relationship I...	omajoy	7	658	Nov 13, 2007 by maresie2
	Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there: (Preview) Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there: they serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be: your roommate, neighbor, professor, long-lost friend, lover o...	Lauren ashley	4	5133	Nov 13, 2007 by maresie2
	November Business meeting Minutes: (Preview) MIP November business meeting: November 11/07 Chair opened meeting with the Serenity Prayer, 1st thing on agenda is OP schedule, which was posted along with a description of the requirements to be an OP. October Minutes were approved as written. Treasury report was given by dot: She reported t...	serenity62	0	352	Nov 13, 2007 by serenity62
	procrastination (Preview) Okay, I am fortunate enough to have a "long" weekend in that I don't have work tomorrow (veteran's day) ... My intention was to work (finish) my step 4 Ahhhh intentions I have been working on (or I usually say "procrastinating on") Step 4 since JUNE I keep getting "stuck&qu...	Positivelydee	2	431	Nov 13, 2007 by Karilynn
	he wont stop and it kills me (Preview) my dad is an alcholic. he has been for a couple years now. he stopped for a couple weeks when my mom gave him the ultimatum. i came home tonight, and he started again. i should be used to it by now, but everytime he starts up again i am just so hurt and angry. my mom wants to leave him- but cant, because of us, &qu...	islu1953	14	730	Nov 13, 2007 by Karilynn
	HES DRIVING ME CRAZY (Preview) Well the AH hasn't had a drink for 3 days. But he's driving me insane. He wants to argue with me every minute of every day. I haven't been returning his arguments until today. I just lost it. The argument was over something stupid and I just went nuts. Usually I can busy myself with housework or something a...	cookie1971	5	699	Nov 13, 2007 by Jerry F
	Believe in yourself (Preview)	Christy	2	280	Nov 12, 2007 by ddub
	baffling and brilliant (Preview) It never ceases to amaze me how my ah can turn anything and everything into blame on my part. Somehow, I think many of you can relate! Some background - ah has been out of house for 6 mos. He sees the kids a lot, but not on a regular schedule; mostly when convenient for him, but at least 5-6 times a week. Has ha...	Loupiness	2	321	Nov 12, 2007 by Kim65
	bummer (Preview) AH was real drunk and I sneaky asked about the court summons he got in the paper. He told me it was for open container and that his drivers liscence has been suspended. It is very likely that he will not remember telling me this. My mind is still processing this information. But I can say, he is the only one w...	RainyJamie	5	495	Nov 12, 2007 by RainyJamie
	RE: I Passed! (Preview) Updating my last post: I passed! It was so awesome! I mean the test was really hard but I gave it all I had, took over two hours. I checked and rechecked and then turned it in. I had to check online from my desk at work and when I read I passed I was just so relieved. Everyone at work crowded around and we just che...	Belladay	10	1080	Nov 12, 2007 by Karilynn
	Thank you Veterans (Preview) ((((((((Family))))), Just wanted to take the time to thank all the veterans today. My Dad, Uncles and Grandfathers were all vets. Hubby was in the Navy too and I have many friends who are still serving. Thank you for your service. To all those out there serving thank you too. To the families, th...	Karilynn	0	250	Nov 12, 2007 by Karilynn
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.