Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

kissers · kissers

I found this online after looking for codependency recovery information. http://www.coloringtherapy.com/ There are free mandalas online if you google them.

kissers · kissers

My Child Within I found my child within today, For many years so locked away, Loving, embracing, needing so much, If only I could reach in and touch. I did not know this child of mine, We were never acquainted at three or nine, But today I felt the crying inside, I'm here I shouted, come reside. We hugged ea...

izzymom · izzymom

I have been visiting here infrequently, unfortunately, but am happy to say my son has been clean and sober for a year now, married, and just opened a business. I feel with the intervention I saved my son's life. In return, I would like to send cards and gifts to the men in the house. How do I do this?

Becky1 · Becky1

My daughter is expecting, and we weren't expecting the baby until Mid-December, but she is having the labor induced Tuesday morning. Whew. Serenity prayer needed! LOL I am just in shock, lots to do before then.......daughter is doing well, they are just concerned the baby isn't growing fast eno...

jeannie024 · jeannie024

hi everyone its been a long time since ive been on i sort of gave up things have been awfull my son was framed for a murder on 17th dec 2005 he got a life sentance last year of 15 and half years, we now have a new legal team for him hoping to get an appeal or re trial my daughter tried to take her own life my brother...

Hopeless in AZ · Hopeless in AZ

I posted the other day about my mom leaving my A dad after almost 30 years of marriage. What I didn't say was that a few months prior to my mom leaving him I had attended an Al-Anon group that I wanted my mom to attend as well. I gave her some literature to it along with some group phone numbers etc. Well sh...

ddub · ddub

Been quite a week yet at this moment I feel quite calm and breathing alot to slogans so I don't get anxious about what if's during the holiday hoopla. It takes a lot of focus for me to stay on one day at a time or like I read in another post, one task at a time. I also have been thinking about this: "Pos...

debilyn · debilyn

A few years back my very brain damaged A used some wrestling thing on me and threw me to the ground. Hurt my shoulders and knees. Now the knee has weakened to the point I have torn my meniscus. My tail bone is cracked, my foot is tore up and my shoulders are so painful. Then we he the carpal tunnel in the right h...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((((Family)))))))))), Just wanted to take a few minutes to wish you all a very blessed and Happy Thanksgiving. I know there are lots of families who are traveling, may your journey be safe. May your loved ones arrive safely. To those of you who have family and friends serving in the military...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((Family))))))), A very good Sunday morning to you all. I wanted to share with you something that happened this past week. As you can probably tell from the title, hubby did indeed relapse again a couple of weeks ago. Well last Sunday while I was getting ready for work I found a bottle underne...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I am going to have the kids pick two items each that they want to have and then make all of them. We are going to put up the new fake xmas tree :) and I'll be working wed and fri night and all day sat. Perhaps some shopping friday? But I swore I wouldn't buy a thing till dec. 1. Definitely shopping for food to...

klm4446 · klm4446

I've read some other posts mentioning their A's pot or "drug" use. Now that he's gone, my A's parents say "Oh, the pot was no big deal, it was the alcohol that killed him" Before my A's accident and relapse, he rationalized to me that pot was "better than drinking"...

maresie2 · maresie2

When I look back through my time with the A there were many many times including this summer where I totally wore myself down to nothing rescuing him. Rescue is a huge motif for me in my life. I regualrly go in for this large scale assaults to help others leaving myself devastated. As you all well know si...

debilyn · debilyn

Here it is in the am. Responding to emails some things have come into my pea brain If my giant Siamesey ragdoll kitten,Fizz, will stop trying to sleep on my parrot,Reeba's stand, I may be able to get some thoughts out! Fizz jumps on cage,Ree flies and lands on my chest,goes under my covers and either che...

kissers · kissers

I had told my now ex that I did not want him calling me names. His response was, "Why didn't you tell me this earlier?" Again, the blame was placed on me. He told me I was lousy in bed. He didn't care about me at all and I think this is what hurts the most. Did he even care about me a little bit???? Ju...

gardengal · gardengal

I often wonder other than than the obvious reprocussions from living with an A, if other things seem to manifest themselves? This may sound silly however, I find it very difficult to finish a task that I am doing. I find myself wandering off and starting something else, thus everything is half a$$ed. F...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

How do you keep the focus on your self and still be in a marriage? This is my main question these days. I have been separated from my AH for 2 years so that each of us can exclusively focus on ourselves. We are now looking at easing back into a life of living together in around 6 months. I know there are no clear...

tenacious · tenacious

Why isn't this getting easier? After a long hard weekend in which promises were broken and boundaries were set (see previous post, "scared of running out of compassion") I am feeling tender and bruised and unsure how to act around A. He is entering rehab which is great but I am worried I d...

MIDGET · MIDGET

Im terrified of the Holidays.I know my A H is going to binge the entire time.Oh he may not be drunk in the am,but by 12n he will be lit like a Christmas tree.Sometimes he doesnt wait till noon.Sometimes he just sleeps it off from the night before ,and starts all over again.Im afraid that he will be drunk on T...

roxygirl5 · roxygirl5

Hi, I have a question? Does the diesease of alcohol seem to rob the alcoholics self-drive and motivation to suceed? Does it seem like they do what they have to do just to get by and nothing more??? My son works at a part-time job as a busser making minimum wage. He rents a room from some guy. Barely ma...

maresie2 · maresie2

I am up for an inerview tomorrow for another job. I really really really really need benefits and more than that I need to be able to take a break. As it is I will not be paid fot the Thanksgiving holiday or for a week and a half over Christmas. If I can get this job I will be in a much much much much better place. F...

omajoy · omajoy

Sitting at computer with coffee and congratulating myself on have had several "good" days in a row...not that what just happened is necessarily bad, but so typical and so much my prediction. Here's how it went: Ex-DIL called again just now to say grandbaby had upchucked twice during th...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I don't know why the holidays have to be so particularly difficult, I remember last year I felt sooo guilty that I didn't want the A to come over. For those of you who remember, he was extorting me with signing the papers on the house. It was hell, I didn't invite him for our son's birthday party and Chris...

roxygirl5 · roxygirl5

Hi, I was wondering what the purpose of a sponsor is? Is it for when a crisis arises you have someone to talk to? Is it a commitment where you have to call every day or once a week? Please explain? Thanks, Roxygirl5

tenacious · tenacious

Hello everyone, well the latest in my life is the my A boyfriend has broken trust blatantly two nights in a row. This comes at the end of a string of incidents and I am rubbed raw, emotionally and physically (battling the same low-level flu forever). Last night I had a lot of tears and bf responded by fir...

souljoy · souljoy

My mom used to spout of this Alanon slogan long ago when I would talk to her. I got pretty tired of the "lessons". But I knew deep down she had wisdom so I filed the things she said in my mind and went on with my life. Now it's eight years later and I'm in Alanon and trying to get my life back together...

roxygirl5 · roxygirl5

Hi I'm having a hard time understanding "detach with love"! My son is the alcoholic who is 24 yrs. old. and he lives on his own. I told him he was not allowed to spend the night at my house unless he asks me first. I have a garage with a combination and he had the combo for emergencies. Well,...

Jeff Reynolds · Jeff Reynolds

A question for those of you with A's that have established a successful long-term recovery (5+ years?) and forgive me if I sound naive. After years of successful recovery with your A, do you still keep your guard up, work your program, and take nothing at face value? In other words, does the Al-Anon a...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((((Everyone))))))) Have not heard that phrase in a long time... it was thown out in my meeting last night and although I heard many other things there that I needed to hear, probably nothing more important than that for me. I have been struggling lately with many feelings that I am trying to unde...

maresie2 · maresie2

When I was with the A I was incredibly achingly lonely. I felt most of the time like I had a huge hole inside. I was afraid to leave him for many reasons, one of them was loneliness. I felt without him I'd be lost and adrift and feel abandoned. Of course during the course of the 7 years I was with him I was abando...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I'm cleaning through my stuff at Dad's again. I just finished in my bathroom. I again have alot of the old feelings I've had as I cleaned through stuff in the past. Empty. Lonely. Sad. Hurting. The memories are reminding me of the past. And I have enough recovery now to look at the past with much more rea...

roxygirl5 · roxygirl5

Hi I'm having a hard time understanding "detach with love"! My son is the alcoholic who is 24 yrs. old. and he lives on his own. I told him he was not allowed to spend the night at my house unless he asks me first. I have a garage with a combination and he had the combo for emergencies. Well,...

kissers · kissers

My A BF started distancing from me. I give him plenty of space and I never ask for anything. It dawned on me that this is my life too and I want someone who has both feet in a relationship, wants to work things out, and doesn't bail at the first sign of discord. So, I asked for what I wanted. I was told to have a ni...

roxygirl5 · roxygirl5

Hi, I'm new to Alanon and I went to a meeting this weekend. Someone commented when dealing with the alcoholic, you need to know what your part is. Does this mean, if your an enabler? Thanks, Roxygirl5

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

will you call my mom and tell I said "what happened" ?I might have a job, but it is in Kansas.... I am mad, I can't understand it. I ca't geta job here with out a DR LC. I told this place that I can't drive because I am blind in left eye. At least I will be able to send you money. I am never going to see my k...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, Thanks to all who attended the meeting last night. It was great. One of the best meetings I have been to lately. I appreciate all the wonderful ESH, the laughs (even though at times it was hard to see my screen through the fits of laughter), and the fellowship. Once again, I woouldn't be where I am...

maresie · maresie

For the last few months since the A left the trailer I had paid for all summer he has led me to think he is homeless and has been living in his car. Today I found out he is not. He has been staying with his uncle. Admittedly it is a longlong way from where I am and hardly comfortable. At the same time he has to wor...

norwood · norwood

Our Sunday night meeting was a blast with the topic of using humor, and I was asked to share a limerick I came up with on the message board There once was a person in Alanon Who felt that their life was all but gone They went to a meeting And their anguish went fleeting And the music that played then went on and...

shadow1 · shadow1

(((((((((((((Family))))))))))))) I just thought I would stop by and give you an update. As some of you know on Sunday night he was drunk (as usual) and got very angry with me. I'm still not sure why. He was so angry that I started to fear for my safety so I called the police. They arrived and spoke to him...

cen616 · cen616

I haven't posted in a while--still trying to catch up on reading the threads. My first was just an introduction, but now I have an issue on my mind and really would like some help developing the proper perspective. This might be a bit long. My clean A and I have been together a little less than 6 month...

java · java

Thanksgiving and the holidays are such a hard time of year it seems. It puts so much stress on having the perfect holiday, when there is no such thing. The A seems to pick this time of year to go on more binges and more excuses for holiday drinking. It's got to the point that holidays are not as enjoyable for...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Today is day 12 of non smoking and it has been pulling on me for the past 3 or 4 days just one just one just one... I have been good! I have been working my booty off at 2 jobs! I work today - I got up at 6 am and will not get home until 10:30 or 11 tonight! I'm working wed, fri, and all day Sat. at the 2nd job and I am w...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, I have so much to be thankful for: my life, my job, my kids, my recovery program. This was a week from hell at work. I got thru it and I know that I have better boundaries. My AHsober came last weekend to "help" and as he was leaving dropped a bomb that he was buying land with a frien...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I just got the following two emails from my A Message header was Thanksgiving I am not invited, whats up. Your new boyfried is an ass and wont let me see my kids. I filed for the devorce and they changed the amount for support to 25 a month and said unless I am wanted on charges. I can see the kids every other w...

leenyanna · leenyanna

Does anyone know someone who has taken Ativan to help quit drinking. It is to prevents headaches and shaking.

Chetch · Chetch

Hi All, I'm back again. As my husband tells me nothing about his upcoming DUI hearing/trial, I was home alone last night and took the oppurtunity to look at his email. I know his attorney's name, so I just looked for those emails. Well, he had emailed his attorney, now bear in mind that my husband is an...

stormie · stormie

I'm new to this board. I just spent about a hour reading posts and decided to give this a whirl. I've been separated from my AH for almost 6 months. After 30-something years of marriage, I decided that I could not live with alcoholism any longer. My once gentle, soft-spoken, good-hearted husband ha...

optimistundone · optimistundone

A quick review of my situation. H and I have been together since high school (15 years) and married 7. We have a 6 year old and an 8 month old baby. He abused drugs before he met me, quit when we started dating for 2 years, smoked pot and binge drank pretty much every day in college, quit smoking pot so that...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi family, Just a gentle reminder that the Sunday night meeting starts earlier, 4pm pacific. Hope to see you all there :) And just a heads up. The Topics will be Humor and Healing in alanon. Pages 322 and 323 in a Courage to Change :). Hope to see you there. Yours in recovery, Mandy

twinkie · twinkie

Have been working the program for about a year and a half now - so great and learned to detach with Love. My A went into rehab and has been working a program for himself now for the past 4 months. After he got out I set some strong boundaries and said I would be willing to date but it had to be at a slow pace unti...

CalVal · CalVal

Hello I'm new here, I have been married to an alcoholic for 30 years (my god it has been a LONG time). Anyway we have been through all the ups and downs through the years of him being sober for long periods of time and then binges for months on end. But right now I am at a loss as what to do and so fed up with what he...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Ok so I quit smoking last Wednesday night so this is technically day nine. Yay for me! No cigarettes... Last night for some reason I was having VERY strong cravings and I tried to go out the door and the kids barricaded me in LOL one on the inside and one outside holding the door closed. Then when I final...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I HAVE a reputation at work for being a strict boss. One day I was in the break room with another manager. I reached into the refrigerator for my lunch, which was packed in an Ace Hardware paper bag. My co-worker stopped mid-bite and stared at me, looking a little tense. When I pulled my sandwich out of the...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have been getting tons of emails from the A lately and the last few have been interesting. One said we need to get together and talk about filing for divorce (I get those about once a week) and this time he added that if he doesn't hear from me by next week he's going to go ahead and file himself. My thinkin...

Positivelydee · Positivelydee

As many of you know, I had to put my precious Buster Cat down a week and a half ago ~ and it has been excruciatingly painful. My husband and I have been doing nothing but eating and crying and eating some more. This past Wednesday we picked up his ashes - which in a weird sort of way was comforting - he was home....

kikgirl517 · kikgirl517

I'm new to this board. I am 25 years old and am from Michigan. My boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic and recovering cocaine addict. He also smoked pot daily for the first two and a half years of our relationship. I am a non-alcoholic non-drinker. I have been to some Al-Anon meetings but have a hard time g...

Jill · Jill

help! something so trivial has robbed me of my day. I am reacting to minor day to day irritations at work - it's really embarassing to react to them but today they add up to to much. well from there it spiralled into other topics and by the time I reached my office I was not my highest self. I spent the day tryi...

lynnMat · lynnMat

I posted my dilemma about my husband who is an A and didn't stop drinking even after my daughter was born. Last night we got into an arguement and I locked my bedroom door. He has never been violent in the past, but he tried to storm into the room and when he found out that it was locked, he kicked in the door...

marmare · marmare

My daughter in-law is home. We have had to jump through many hoops to get assitance with her perscriptions. One perscription is $1200!!! Her medicade did not follow her from GA because medicade is state...so no insurance (my son is union but his medical doesn't start for 30 or 60 days...I made lots o...

omajoy · omajoy

I read two posts this morning where the action mentioned to get rid of the A was to "send him home to his mom". I know this is just desperation talking to get rid of him. Moms can't handle your A any better than you can. If she could, she would have by now. She didn't cause it, she can't contro...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Coloring Therapy (Preview) I found this online after looking for codependency recovery information. http://www.coloringtherapy.com/ There are free mandalas online if you google them.	kissers	6	527	Nov 22, 2007 by kissers
	My Child Within (Preview) My Child Within I found my child within today, For many years so locked away, Loving, embracing, needing so much, If only I could reach in and touch. I did not know this child of mine, We were never acquainted at three or nine, But today I felt the crying inside, I'm here I shouted, come reside. We hugged ea...	kissers	3	604	Nov 22, 2007 by Jen
	where to sends cards and gifts to john and men. (Preview) I have been visiting here infrequently, unfortunately, but am happy to say my son has been clean and sober for a year now, married, and just opened a business. I feel with the intervention I saved my son's life. In return, I would like to send cards and gifts to the men in the house. How do I do this?	izzymom	2	512	Nov 22, 2007 by Karilynn
	Grandbaby to Arrive Tuesday! (Preview) My daughter is expecting, and we weren't expecting the baby until Mid-December, but she is having the labor induced Tuesday morning. Whew. Serenity prayer needed! LOL I am just in shock, lots to do before then.......daughter is doing well, they are just concerned the baby isn't growing fast eno...	Becky1	3	527	Nov 22, 2007 by Karilynn
	hi everyone (Preview) hi everyone its been a long time since ive been on i sort of gave up things have been awfull my son was framed for a murder on 17th dec 2005 he got a life sentance last year of 15 and half years, we now have a new legal team for him hoping to get an appeal or re trial my daughter tried to take her own life my brother...	jeannie024	5	471	Nov 22, 2007 by cookie1971
	How is Al-Anon viewed by the A? (Preview) I posted the other day about my mom leaving my A dad after almost 30 years of marriage. What I didn't say was that a few months prior to my mom leaving him I had attended an Al-Anon group that I wanted my mom to attend as well. I gave her some literature to it along with some group phone numbers etc. Well sh...	Hopeless in AZ	18	970	Nov 21, 2007 by cookie1971
	just wondering...... (Preview) Been quite a week yet at this moment I feel quite calm and breathing alot to slogans so I don't get anxious about what if's during the holiday hoopla. It takes a lot of focus for me to stay on one day at a time or like I read in another post, one task at a time. I also have been thinking about this: "Pos...	ddub	3	559	Nov 21, 2007 by lin0606
	quick update )c: (Preview) A few years back my very brain damaged A used some wrestling thing on me and threw me to the ground. Hurt my shoulders and knees. Now the knee has weakened to the point I have torn my meniscus. My tail bone is cracked, my foot is tore up and my shoulders are so painful. Then we he the carpal tunnel in the right h...	debilyn	4	542	Nov 21, 2007 by nmike
	HAPPY THANKSGIVING! (Preview) ((((((((((Family)))))))))), Just wanted to take a few minutes to wish you all a very blessed and Happy Thanksgiving. I know there are lots of families who are traveling, may your journey be safe. May your loved ones arrive safely. To those of you who have family and friends serving in the military...	Karilynn	3	376	Nov 21, 2007 by david62
	Relapse + Honesty = Serenity? (long) (Preview) ((((((((Family))))))), A very good Sunday morning to you all. I wanted to share with you something that happened this past week. As you can probably tell from the title, hubby did indeed relapse again a couple of weeks ago. Well last Sunday while I was getting ready for work I found a bottle underne...	Karilynn	14	900	Nov 21, 2007 by Becky1
	How will you be spending the holiday? (Preview) I am going to have the kids pick two items each that they want to have and then make all of them. We are going to put up the new fake xmas tree :) and I'll be working wed and fri night and all day sat. Perhaps some shopping friday? But I swore I wouldn't buy a thing till dec. 1. Definitely shopping for food to...	carolinagirl	7	528	Nov 21, 2007 by artygirl
	pot/pill use vs. alcohol (Preview) I've read some other posts mentioning their A's pot or "drug" use. Now that he's gone, my A's parents say "Oh, the pot was no big deal, it was the alcohol that killed him" Before my A's accident and relapse, he rationalized to me that pot was "better than drinking"...	klm4446	5	561	Nov 21, 2007 by canadianguy
	not picking up the wounded birdy (Preview) When I look back through my time with the A there were many many times including this summer where I totally wore myself down to nothing rescuing him. Rescue is a huge motif for me in my life. I regualrly go in for this large scale assaults to help others leaving myself devastated. As you all well know si...	maresie2	8	710	Nov 21, 2007 by maresie2
	(c: observations from an old timer (Preview) Here it is in the am. Responding to emails some things have come into my pea brain If my giant Siamesey ragdoll kitten,Fizz, will stop trying to sleep on my parrot,Reeba's stand, I may be able to get some thoughts out! Fizz jumps on cage,Ree flies and lands on my chest,goes under my covers and either che...	debilyn	3	664	Nov 21, 2007 by maresie2
	It just dawned on me... (Preview) I had told my now ex that I did not want him calling me names. His response was, "Why didn't you tell me this earlier?" Again, the blame was placed on me. He told me I was lousy in bed. He didn't care about me at all and I think this is what hurts the most. Did he even care about me a little bit???? Ju...	kissers	5	657	Nov 21, 2007 by Leetle
	Is it just me or do others do this as well? (Preview) I often wonder other than than the obvious reprocussions from living with an A, if other things seem to manifest themselves? This may sound silly however, I find it very difficult to finish a task that I am doing. I find myself wandering off and starting something else, thus everything is half a$$ed. F...	gardengal	8	724	Nov 21, 2007 by gardengal
	Being married yet staying focused on myself/working my program/taking care of myself first. (Preview) How do you keep the focus on your self and still be in a marriage? This is my main question these days. I have been separated from my AH for 2 years so that each of us can exclusively focus on ourselves. We are now looking at easing back into a life of living together in around 6 months. I know there are no clear...	Jean4444	7	555	Nov 20, 2007 by nmike
	Feeling pressured to make a decision by A (Preview) Why isn't this getting easier? After a long hard weekend in which promises were broken and boundaries were set (see previous post, "scared of running out of compassion") I am feeling tender and bruised and unsure how to act around A. He is entering rehab which is great but I am worried I d...	tenacious	7	624	Nov 20, 2007 by stormie
	THE " HAPPY HOLIDAYS" ARENT AT MY HOUSE (Preview) Im terrified of the Holidays.I know my A H is going to binge the entire time.Oh he may not be drunk in the am,but by 12n he will be lit like a Christmas tree.Sometimes he doesnt wait till noon.Sometimes he just sleeps it off from the night before ,and starts all over again.Im afraid that he will be drunk on T...	MIDGET	7	998	Nov 20, 2007 by nmike
	QUICK QUESTION??? (Preview) Hi, I have a question? Does the diesease of alcohol seem to rob the alcoholics self-drive and motivation to suceed? Does it seem like they do what they have to do just to get by and nothing more??? My son works at a part-time job as a busser making minimum wage. He rents a room from some guy. Barely ma...	roxygirl5	6	771	Nov 20, 2007 by nmike
	prayers please in this moring on process (Preview) I am up for an inerview tomorrow for another job. I really really really really need benefits and more than that I need to be able to take a break. As it is I will not be paid fot the Thanksgiving holiday or for a week and a half over Christmas. If I can get this job I will be in a much much much much better place. F...	maresie2	11	695	Nov 20, 2007 by Jean4444
	typical behavior! (Preview) Sitting at computer with coffee and congratulating myself on have had several "good" days in a row...not that what just happened is necessarily bad, but so typical and so much my prediction. Here's how it went: Ex-DIL called again just now to say grandbaby had upchucked twice during th...	omajoy	5	574	Nov 20, 2007 by Leetle
	Why are the holidays so difficult? (Preview) I don't know why the holidays have to be so particularly difficult, I remember last year I felt sooo guilty that I didn't want the A to come over. For those of you who remember, he was extorting me with signing the papers on the house. It was hell, I didn't invite him for our son's birthday party and Chris...	carolinagirl	5	633	Nov 20, 2007 by Jen
	PURPOSE OF A SPONSOR? (Preview) Hi, I was wondering what the purpose of a sponsor is? Is it for when a crisis arises you have someone to talk to? Is it a commitment where you have to call every day or once a week? Please explain? Thanks, Roxygirl5	roxygirl5	2	2158	Nov 20, 2007 by Jen
	Scared out running out of compassion (Preview) Hello everyone, well the latest in my life is the my A boyfriend has broken trust blatantly two nights in a row. This comes at the end of a string of incidents and I am rubbed raw, emotionally and physically (battling the same low-level flu forever). Last night I had a lot of tears and bf responded by fir...	tenacious	7	1116	Nov 20, 2007 by tenacious
	HALT (Preview) My mom used to spout of this Alanon slogan long ago when I would talk to her. I got pretty tired of the "lessons". But I knew deep down she had wisdom so I filed the things she said in my mind and went on with my life. Now it's eight years later and I'm in Alanon and trying to get my life back together...	souljoy	1	547	Nov 20, 2007 by rtexas
	HOW TO DETACH WITH LOVE? (Preview) Hi I'm having a hard time understanding "detach with love"! My son is the alcoholic who is 24 yrs. old. and he lives on his own. I told him he was not allowed to spend the night at my house unless he asks me first. I have a garage with a combination and he had the combo for emergencies. Well,...	roxygirl5	3	1826	Nov 20, 2007 by rtexas
	What Do You Do in Year 5? (Preview) A question for those of you with A's that have established a successful long-term recovery (5+ years?) and forgive me if I sound naive. After years of successful recovery with your A, do you still keep your guard up, work your program, and take nothing at face value? In other words, does the Al-Anon a...	Jeff Reynolds	8	553	Nov 20, 2007 by Jean4444
	Feelings are not Facts... (Preview) (((((((Everyone))))))) Have not heard that phrase in a long time... it was thown out in my meeting last night and although I heard many other things there that I needed to hear, probably nothing more important than that for me. I have been struggling lately with many feelings that I am trying to unde...	rtexas	5	837	Nov 20, 2007 by Karilynn
	Lonelinesss (Preview) When I was with the A I was incredibly achingly lonely. I felt most of the time like I had a huge hole inside. I was afraid to leave him for many reasons, one of them was loneliness. I felt without him I'd be lost and adrift and feel abandoned. Of course during the course of the 7 years I was with him I was abando...	maresie2	8	488	Nov 20, 2007 by bobbo
	Cleaning again (Preview) I'm cleaning through my stuff at Dad's again. I just finished in my bathroom. I again have alot of the old feelings I've had as I cleaned through stuff in the past. Empty. Lonely. Sad. Hurting. The memories are reminding me of the past. And I have enough recovery now to look at the past with much more rea...	Tiger2006	2	430	Nov 19, 2007 by Tenderheartsks
	HOW TO DETACH WITH LOVE? (Preview) Hi I'm having a hard time understanding "detach with love"! My son is the alcoholic who is 24 yrs. old. and he lives on his own. I told him he was not allowed to spend the night at my house unless he asks me first. I have a garage with a combination and he had the combo for emergencies. Well,...	roxygirl5	0	323	Nov 19, 2007 by roxygirl5
	He ended the relationship (Preview) My A BF started distancing from me. I give him plenty of space and I never ask for anything. It dawned on me that this is my life too and I want someone who has both feet in a relationship, wants to work things out, and doesn't bail at the first sign of discord. So, I asked for what I wanted. I was told to have a ni...	kissers	8	749	Nov 19, 2007 by Jean4444
	NEW TO ALANON...QUESTION? (Preview) Hi, I'm new to Alanon and I went to a meeting this weekend. Someone commented when dealing with the alcoholic, you need to know what your part is. Does this mean, if your an enabler? Thanks, Roxygirl5	roxygirl5	4	431	Nov 19, 2007 by Jean4444
	And then I get this... (Preview) will you call my mom and tell I said "what happened" ?I might have a job, but it is in Kansas.... I am mad, I can't understand it. I ca't geta job here with out a DR LC. I told this place that I can't drive because I am blind in left eye. At least I will be able to send you money. I am never going to see my k...	carolinagirl	6	534	Nov 19, 2007 by Jean4444
	RE: Sunday Night Meeting (LOL you all crack me up) (Preview) Hi all, Thanks to all who attended the meeting last night. It was great. One of the best meetings I have been to lately. I appreciate all the wonderful ESH, the laughs (even though at times it was hard to see my screen through the fits of laughter), and the fellowship. Once again, I woouldn't be where I am...	Mandy123	1	639	Nov 19, 2007 by rtexas
	update another lie upon lie upon lie (Preview) For the last few months since the A left the trailer I had paid for all summer he has led me to think he is homeless and has been living in his car. Today I found out he is not. He has been staying with his uncle. Admittedly it is a longlong way from where I am and hardly comfortable. At the same time he has to wor...	maresie	4	566	Nov 19, 2007 by maresie2
	An Alanon Limerick (Preview) Our Sunday night meeting was a blast with the topic of using humor, and I was asked to share a limerick I came up with on the message board There once was a person in Alanon Who felt that their life was all but gone They went to a meeting And their anguish went fleeting And the music that played then went on and...	norwood	0	1457	Nov 19, 2007 by norwood
	Update (Preview) (((((((((((((Family))))))))))))) I just thought I would stop by and give you an update. As some of you know on Sunday night he was drunk (as usual) and got very angry with me. I'm still not sure why. He was so angry that I started to fear for my safety so I called the police. They arrived and spoke to him...	shadow1	13	703	Nov 19, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Relapse: ESH, please (Preview) I haven't posted in a while--still trying to catch up on reading the threads. My first was just an introduction, but now I have an issue on my mind and really would like some help developing the proper perspective. This might be a bit long. My clean A and I have been together a little less than 6 month...	cen616	18	561	Nov 19, 2007 by hudsond
	Thanksgiving (Preview) Thanksgiving and the holidays are such a hard time of year it seems. It puts so much stress on having the perfect holiday, when there is no such thing. The A seems to pick this time of year to go on more binges and more excuses for holiday drinking. It's got to the point that holidays are not as enjoyable for...	java	5	405	Nov 19, 2007 by carolinagirl
	Still pushing through (Preview) Today is day 12 of non smoking and it has been pulling on me for the past 3 or 4 days just one just one just one... I have been good! I have been working my booty off at 2 jobs! I work today - I got up at 6 am and will not get home until 10:30 or 11 tonight! I'm working wed, fri, and all day Sat. at the 2nd job and I am w...	carolinagirl	0	342	Nov 19, 2007 by carolinagirl
	It stings-any esh? (Preview) Hi Alanoners, I have so much to be thankful for: my life, my job, my kids, my recovery program. This was a week from hell at work. I got thru it and I know that I have better boundaries. My AHsober came last weekend to "help" and as he was leaving dropped a bomb that he was buying land with a frien...	nmike	8	656	Nov 19, 2007 by debilyn
	I'm so ANGRY! (Preview) I just got the following two emails from my A Message header was Thanksgiving I am not invited, whats up. Your new boyfried is an ass and wont let me see my kids. I filed for the devorce and they changed the amount for support to 25 a month and said unless I am wanted on charges. I can see the kids every other w...	carolinagirl	8	472	Nov 19, 2007 by Lunamoth
	Ativan (Preview) Does anyone know someone who has taken Ativan to help quit drinking. It is to prevents headaches and shaking.	leenyanna	8	728	Nov 18, 2007 by debilyn
	My husband's DUI (Preview) Hi All, I'm back again. As my husband tells me nothing about his upcoming DUI hearing/trial, I was home alone last night and took the oppurtunity to look at his email. I know his attorney's name, so I just looked for those emails. Well, he had emailed his attorney, now bear in mind that my husband is an...	Chetch	9	447	Nov 18, 2007 by maresie
	Recently Separated from My AH of 33 Years (Preview) I'm new to this board. I just spent about a hour reading posts and decided to give this a whirl. I've been separated from my AH for almost 6 months. After 30-something years of marriage, I decided that I could not live with alcoholism any longer. My once gentle, soft-spoken, good-hearted husband ha...	stormie	5	636	Nov 18, 2007 by stormie
	New here and some questions....... (Preview) A quick review of my situation. H and I have been together since high school (15 years) and married 7. We have a 6 year old and an 8 month old baby. He abused drugs before he met me, quit when we started dating for 2 years, smoked pot and binge drank pretty much every day in college, quit smoking pot so that...	optimistundone	5	537	Nov 18, 2007 by optimistundone
	Sunday Night Meeting (Preview) Hi family, Just a gentle reminder that the Sunday night meeting starts earlier, 4pm pacific. Hope to see you all there :) And just a heads up. The Topics will be Humor and Healing in alanon. Pages 322 and 323 in a Courage to Change :). Hope to see you there. Yours in recovery, Mandy	Mandy123	0	314	Nov 18, 2007 by Mandy123
	so painful.. (Preview) Have been working the program for about a year and a half now - so great and learned to detach with Love. My A went into rehab and has been working a program for himself now for the past 4 months. After he got out I set some strong boundaries and said I would be willing to date but it had to be at a slow pace unti...	twinkie	3	416	Nov 18, 2007 by Karilynn
	New here and feeling LOST! (Preview) Hello I'm new here, I have been married to an alcoholic for 30 years (my god it has been a LONG time). Anyway we have been through all the ups and downs through the years of him being sober for long periods of time and then binges for months on end. But right now I am at a loss as what to do and so fed up with what he...	CalVal	7	624	Nov 18, 2007 by Jean4444
	Day NINE! (Preview) Ok so I quit smoking last Wednesday night so this is technically day nine. Yay for me! No cigarettes... Last night for some reason I was having VERY strong cravings and I tried to go out the door and the kids barricaded me in LOL one on the inside and one outside holding the door closed. Then when I final...	carolinagirl	7	494	Nov 17, 2007 by Diva
	Learning to lighten up and mellow out (Preview) I HAVE a reputation at work for being a strict boss. One day I was in the break room with another manager. I reached into the refrigerator for my lunch, which was packed in an Ace Hardware paper bag. My co-worker stopped mid-bite and stared at me, looking a little tense. When I pulled my sandwich out of the...	Tiger2006	6	936	Nov 17, 2007 by Jean4444
	Venting (Preview) I have been getting tons of emails from the A lately and the last few have been interesting. One said we need to get together and talk about filing for divorce (I get those about once a week) and this time he added that if he doesn't hear from me by next week he's going to go ahead and file himself. My thinkin...	carolinagirl	8	424	Nov 17, 2007 by Jean4444
	Eating out of control (Preview) As many of you know, I had to put my precious Buster Cat down a week and a half ago ~ and it has been excruciatingly painful. My husband and I have been doing nothing but eating and crying and eating some more. This past Wednesday we picked up his ashes - which in a weird sort of way was comforting - he was home....	Positivelydee	2	457	Nov 17, 2007 by bob6502
	Hey everyone :) (Preview) I'm new to this board. I am 25 years old and am from Michigan. My boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic and recovering cocaine addict. He also smoked pot daily for the first two and a half years of our relationship. I am a non-alcoholic non-drinker. I have been to some Al-Anon meetings but have a hard time g...	kikgirl517	3	354	Nov 16, 2007 by Positivelydee
	need ESH on resenting (Preview) help! something so trivial has robbed me of my day. I am reacting to minor day to day irritations at work - it's really embarassing to react to them but today they add up to to much. well from there it spiralled into other topics and by the time I reached my office I was not my highest self. I spent the day tryi...	Jill	5	801	Nov 16, 2007 by Jill
	so upset i can't eat (Preview) I posted my dilemma about my husband who is an A and didn't stop drinking even after my daughter was born. Last night we got into an arguement and I locked my bedroom door. He has never been violent in the past, but he tried to storm into the room and when he found out that it was locked, he kicked in the door...	lynnMat	2	461	Nov 16, 2007 by debilyn
	Daughter in-law update (Preview) My daughter in-law is home. We have had to jump through many hoops to get assitance with her perscriptions. One perscription is $1200!!! Her medicade did not follow her from GA because medicade is state...so no insurance (my son is union but his medical doesn't start for 30 or 60 days...I made lots o...	marmare	4	446	Nov 16, 2007 by belle1
	sending the A home to mom (Preview) I read two posts this morning where the action mentioned to get rid of the A was to "send him home to his mom". I know this is just desperation talking to get rid of him. Moms can't handle your A any better than you can. If she could, she would have by now. She didn't cause it, she can't contro...	omajoy	3	545	Nov 16, 2007 by lilms
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.