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I just thought I would stop by and give you an update.
As some of you know on Sunday night he was drunk (as usual) and got very angry with me. I'm still not sure why. He was so angry that I started to fear for my safety so I called the police. They arrived and spoke to him and then to me. One officer was not comfortable leaving him here because he was so angry but, in the end they did anyway.
On Tuesday I came home from work to a suicide note. I called police and they told me that if I heard from him to call back. He called me and told me that he was going to make it look like an accident. I kept my cool as much as I could but he is so unstable I thought that maybe he would do it. I called the police back and told them that he had called and they dispatched a car out to see me. As I was speaking to the officers he called again. I motioned to the officers that it was him on the phone so one jumped up and came close to me to listen to him. He told me that he couldn't carry it out; because it would hurt our youngest son and that he was in the garage. "Just call the cops and have them take me away" he said so they called for back up and went out there. They spoke to him for about an hour and he agreed to go to the hospital for an assessment. The police came in and spoke to me for a minute before they took him away and he had told me how angry the A was with me. The A called me from the hospital and threaten me. Just after that the police called me to tell me what hospital he was in and I told them about the threat. The officer told me because he didn't use the words kill or hurt then it wasn't "concrete" enough to get an order of protection.
At 1am the doc from the hospital called me and told me that they did a 30 minute assessment on him and how angry he was with me but were going to release him but not to worry because they wouldn't release him without someone picking him up and taking him to their home.
At 3am he strolls in the door. He was here for about 10 minutes and left. Came back 15 minutes later and left again. He did this 3 times. I was scared to death.
The next day he looked pitiful crying and asking me if I was going to call the police on him again.
So as it stands now he says he is "going" to get help and that I should be all happy and we can just get back to normal. He won't even try to understand what all this crap has done to me and the kids. OH ya of course its ALL MY FAULT and he did it to get my attention.
I have used my alanon tools as much as I ever have to get through this and I must say I don't think I would have gotten through it with out them.
I just wanted to say to everyone Thank you for your thoughts, prayers and support through all this.
((((Shadow))))) thank you for your update; I was concerned about you. Thank heavens for your alanon tools...good job. Take care of you even in your strife and stress. Love, PW
Good for you for calling his bluff. It's hard, but now he knows that if he pulls these stunts, you will act as if you think he is serious. If he gets hauled into the hospital every time he threatens suicide, he'll stop doing it to manipulate you.
Looking back, I suspect that it wouldn't have taken more than maybe two or three calls to the police when my husband was out of control, for him to start behaving himself better. Yes, he would have been mad, but he was mad at me all the time at that time anyway, so what difference? However, I never had the courage. Too bad, might have saved myself years of listening to him rage.
You did really well in that situation. Please be safe and if this keeps up, please keep calling the police. Keeping you in my prayers. Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
its incredible how strong we need to be. We need to have nerves of steel- like sticking our heads into the jaws of a lion. Calmly do this. Calmly do that. detach as someone is doing this, detach as someone is doing that...I don't know, its a miracle any of us are still alive and able to laugh and function on any level at all. In one of the books it says we have three options: death, institutionalization or al-anon. Thank god for al-anon or else the whole lot of us would be dead or institutionalized.
(((shad))) I admire your strength in tough times. You are in my prayers. Glad you posted the update so we could give you love and support. Know you will get thru this time. Keep taking care of you and the kiddos.
Shadow- I'm sorry you are going through this. How difficult. I admire your courage and your use of the program and your inner strength. You are an inspiration. Keep us posted; thinking and praying for you. In support and love, Twinkie
