Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Why does it feel so good to blame? Can someone explain the psychology of this? Can someone explain why it feels so good to do this (even know I know it is not the right thing to do). I feel like it is almost intoxicating and therefore hard to avoid some days.

barisax · barisax

I posted this in response to the "Acceptance" thread but I realized it's really a new topic so I'm starting one... --------------- When I sought a therapist - at the beginnings of my divorce - it was strictly for myself, not to try and save the marriage. I looked for a psychologist rather th...

java · java

Christmas is a time of year I have come to dread. I try to be thankful for what I have, but it is so little. We will not have enough money for Christmas presents this year, but I was trying to put up a small tree and my 10 year old daughter was devestated that we weren't putting up the big tree this year. There is...

dawnie k · dawnie k

Hello. everyone. I am here because I am in a relationship with an alcoholic. I suspected he might have a problem with drinking, but I didn't know it was so severe. He said from the beginning that he liked to have his beers, one or two a day. But I noticed him running to the store for som...

maresie2 · maresie2

As you all know I left the A with thousands in debt. He in essence stole my truck out from under me and try as I might I could not get any legal remedy on it. For the last 6 months I have been trying to pay down my bills. I have now got two outstanding bills that I have not yet got around to reconciling. Everyth...

Mariedl05 · Mariedl05

My BF A has been in the ICU now for almost 2 weeks and I just got an update telling me that IF he makes it out alive his brain will not function as it should and he will not be able to hold down a job or live alone. I am having a really hard time processing this information. It has litterally made me sick to my sto...

Chetch · Chetch

My A had court last night and I insisted on going with him, as otherwise he wouldn't tell me what happened. Since he is a big shot attorney (he thinks) and knows the judge, the judge gave him until 12/19 to get enrolled in an alchohol treatment program. I doubt he will - he thinks since he is an attorney he...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

AH is sitting in the car, in the dark, with a beer in a paper bag. The poor dog is in the back seat because AH pretends like he is walking the dog every night. I just think, how sad. He would rather sit in the car in the driveway in the middle of a storm than go to bed with the rest of the family. He does this every n...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Background: Ah and I have been separated for 7 mos now, but only now is he working a program and are we acting separated. We've been married for 18 yrs, and rarely took family vacations. His work was always too important and we did not make it a priority. He had plenty of fishing trips with his buddies. He c...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

How do we "do" the 7th tradition here on this board?!

lilms · lilms

Well, we are at 14 days of being dry and I believe she has gone stark raving sober and is going to drive us stark raving mad. As we are not allowed to tie her up or muzzle her, lmbo, we are just keeping on. Really I am not complaining (much). I would rather see this than what I saw in the emergency room two week...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Feeling depressed, overwhelmed. Time to turn everything over, take step one again and again...discouraged about how hard things feel right now. I cannot quite put my finger on it. My A seemed to be doing Ok for a few months but now is back to square one. I can tell because he accrues lots of expensive o...

debilyn · debilyn

I am so grateful for Alanon. I learn from everyone,am humbled by everyone sharing. Many years of Al Anon has kept me still putting one foot in front of the other. Now I am having a horrible time. My A left a year plus ago, when he became so sick, that all he wanted was a place to use and be taken care of,enable...

maresie2 · maresie2

About 5 years ago I read a book on People pleasing by Harriett Braiker (my apologies if I am not supposed to mention non al anon books). I was absolutely flabbergasted. I could see clearly I was a people pleaser but I was also in denial. I would people please myself into positions where I was really ang...

acaporali · acaporali

Well, today is the day! My husband decided today is the day he is quitting drinking! I am trying to be supportive and have positive attitude, but it is hard, will he actually quit this time??? To many times of oh I am quitting this day!!! However, this time he has joined AA. So hopefully yes today is the day...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

what do you do when your A sends you bullying, dismissive, sarcastic emails? Ignore them?

ChicknLittle · ChicknLittle

Hi y'all, I was on here under the name LisaF, but only posted a couple of times... I'm sorry, this is gonna be a long ramble probably (my posts usually are lol) but I have so much going through my mind right now and I just can't get my mind to slow down... I don't really know much about alanon... I went to a co...

maresie2 · maresie2

I am in a work situation that is very very trying for me. Normally I would totally melt under this kind of stuaiton. I always has teh A to fall back on to a certain extent before. He never listened to me ever about any of my issues. At the same time he was "there" as a physical presence and to some ex...

chick29 · chick29

Well I have really been struggling, as in stress at work, feeling down and my Aboyf going back to his own place. However we are both appreciating the space and I am not there to take his bad mood swings. He is struggling so am I, but I'm pleased to say the time we have spent tog has been really enjoyable and I a...

maresie2 · maresie2

2 years ago when I was brainstorming how I needed to leave the A, one of my failing blocks was that I simply could not accept reality. I wanted the A to change. I stood on my head to make him change. He did change of course, he got much much worse. Now I am making a plan A, B, C about the future I still don't like r...

Jill · Jill

I had already decided against gifts this year. I'm buying livestock in people's names. They're getting a picture of a critter given to someone whose life will be so much better for this. Just that decision has brought me such peace - now the benefits multiply as I have free time otherwise spent in the in...

Chetch · Chetch

My AH casually announced to me last night that he has to go to Court tomorrow and the Judge wants him to bring proof that he is in an alcohol treatment program. Of course he can't do that because he's still looking for that 6 week program that will give him a certificate saying he is no longer an A. He had pro...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

...got to feel good about this as I think I am experiencing a breakthrough from the brick wall I seem to have come up again just lately; and it is all because I have friends here to talk to, who listen and them discuss and share their experiences and what has worked for them [and sometimes what has NOT worke...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I heard from a girlfriend I talked to on the phone today that the first big snow storm of the season was hitting back home. So, I texted my AH "snow?" and got nothing back. I know I cannot control him in any way but what is so hard about responding to something as pure and simple as this? What doe...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, When will I learn to shut my mouth and not react? I had a tough week. It started with a coworker calling me a liar. Then another coworker flipped me off, missed a meeting. So by Friday I was carrying all those victim/resentments with me. In walks the President and we talk. I complained about...

Notthisagain · Notthisagain

Hi there, I am a bit confused and unsure if I am even on the right site. My husband is a recovering alcoholic, but is addicted to Vicoden and Soma, here's the kicker.. he gets the script filled (very legally by the way) once a month for his "back Pain" and within 7 days has consumed all the...

Mambo Queen · Mambo Queen

Hey all. I have not yet been to my first al-anon meeting, but I'm planning on going on Friday, when they have babysitting. I have told my AH time and time again that I would leave him if he didn't get help, go to AA. etc. He did quit drinking for 4 months this last time but now we're back to the same ol' same o...

belle1 · belle1

Does anyone have jcarney pic site addie? ive always had it, and cant access it now seems its changed server/site wanted to add my pic. -- Edited by belle1 at 18:18, 2007-12-03 -- Edited by belle1 at 18:18, 2007-12-03

tea2 · tea2

Hello everyone,I apologize for not replying to as many as I use to I typically use private messaging to offer E, S and H or sometimes simply *hugs* of support.I happen to be in a rather bad place at the moment and using all the tools HP has shown me through this program the best I can. Time for me to let my HP ta...

maresie2 · maresie2

I feel like I am transitioning from leaving the A to having left the A. I have so much up in the air, job, home, finances, health, dental, vision, isolation. There are moments when I can be at peace, I walked my dogs last night a long long walk for them. For once I did not feel weighed down by the bombardmen...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((Family)))))), To my loving family here who celebrate Hanukkah, may you all have a wonderful and joyous celebration. It's is a beautiful time of year. Much love and blessings to you all. Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Our son's birthday is on Sunday. Already I have gotten emails and calls asking if he's going to be able to talk to his son on his birthday. I am really regretting ever letting him talk to him in the first place now. Of course he's going to think he's entitled every time he gets the urge now. I am planning...

steadfast · steadfast

My second post of the day . . . I'm in a bit of a crisis. My ABIL showed up at our door yesterday afternoon. He lives 2 1/2 hours away and just showed up. I was very upset with him over Thanksgiving because he was so drunk. It just really disgusts me. My AH is better (relatively speaking) than he has been i...

hudsond · hudsond

Sounds so gross huh?! Anway I have been having a sore spot with my sober AH and it is getting bigger and bigger!! It is a very touchy topic for lots of people who don't even have alcoholic issues. The subject is church. I grew up going to church and I happen to have a wonderful christian family. I do get...

QOD · QOD

Ok, so it has been 3 or 4 weeks since I have been able to really log on. We moved our office and were without internet forever. Shew...good to be back on. Sure have needed my Al-anon family lately. My AH has been a real booger. We got into the dumbest fight a few weeks back. Rather he fought w/me and I cho...

justme11 · justme11

I have went to my first meeting last night and just wanted to thank you for all your kind responses on here over the weekend and just for this site in general i dont know how many pages of bulletins i read the past couple days...i woke up yesterday on a mission to get out of bed...yea its been that bad...i ran...

Bradman · Bradman

Hello All: My AW belongs to a very large, strong AA group that has been meeting for about 20 years in a large auditorium at a local hospital. The group meets at 7-9pm on Friday nights. The meeting often attracts over a hundred people in large part because the parking is free at that time of night. However,...

serenity62 · serenity62

December Business Meeting Minutes; MIP December 2/2007 Chairperson opened meeting with the Serenity Prayer 1st thing on agenda was the OP schedule which was posted. some Alternative positions were also filled. General guidelines and responsibilities on being a chairperson were also pos...

Christy · Christy

Hubby passed this on to me. I'm sure in his mind he was thinking of his A-ism and the choices he's made, but if I'm being honest, I can see myself too. I thought It was a good message to share. Imagine a Road a Beautiful wide and straight Road of Gold stretching as far as the eye can see A Road that Feels-Go...

CJ098 · CJ098

Hi all, I haven't written in months, but here's the story, My AH was fired from his job, a good job, for being intoxicated at work - in October. He's 28, so am I. Then he drank more and more, found a full and part-time job, and we were in the middle of moving across town, did that. He drank more. He got arr...

Mariedl05 · Mariedl05

My boyfriend of two years was admitted to ICU about a week ago for numerous problems due to his drinking. The first year we were together everything was great and then this time last year I get a phone call from his mom telling me he was in the ER and I needed to come right away. He spent a couple of weeks in t...

steadfast · steadfast

Hello all, I went to my second f2f meeting this weekend (a beginners class) and they were discussing different slogans. I am struggling on how I can apply this to my life. They discussed how we should take care of ourselves. They also discussed how we should keep an open mind and not project certain o...

ddub · ddub

I don't understand how al anon works but it does even when I don't want it to work so well sometimes. Has anyone else felt that way? I think maybe just changing the focus and having some wonderful al anon folks to acknowledge and relate to how we feel, somehow clears my head so I function better plus learn...

maresie2 · maresie2

I have at most 6 weeks at this job I am at. There are good things and bad things about this job. The commute is a killer, the hours are a killer. The money I earn though really helps. I have managed to save a tiny tiny amount of money and am working towards paying down my debt. I need two solid years of paying...

maresie · maresie

These are my first holidays without the A in 7 years. I am lost. I did not do well on Thanksgiving at all. I am going to try to make a huge effort for the Christmas. My issue is that I will be laid off for 10 days so I need to find something to tide me over during that time. I'm doing much much better on the money is...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi family, I want to aplogize for not making the meeting tonight. We have had a lot (ok probably not really, but for this area yes) of snow and my power was off and on all day. I couldn't get on. I also want to aologize to my partner. :) Let's do next week. Have any topics you want partner? Yours in recovery, Ma...

boysmum · boysmum

Hello, I'm new to Alanon, I hope its the right forum for my problem. My mother is an alcoholic, though it wasn't always so, she and my dad only started drinking in their 30's, so even though drink was always around and she could be a messy drunk I couldn't say it caused any problems in our lives, it just was...

Lookingforpeace · Lookingforpeace

I know I haven't posted in a while. I have been reading though and working on taking care of my own things instead of my a's. Still have not been to a F2f meeting though. I have felt strongly complelled to do so though. My husband (my a) had a seizure on Tuesday night. It was his first one ever. We think...

acaporali · acaporali

Hi, This is my first time at any meeting/discussion. So, Here is a little history- My husband and I met 12 years ago, we lived together a few years before getting married. Just before we got married, he started drinking more than he had before, and said he was " building up so he could drink at the rec...

peace · peace

I have been reading this board since May, Iove it. so much insight]gt thank you. My AH and Ihave been marridw 19yrs in aug, he moved out in May, he got involved with a woman from his work, I really don't think they are involved anymore. He moved up to our cottage that we just got the year before - speak of re...

chick29 · chick29

I know it not for me to work out but I'm feeling it harder and harder to crawl out of bed. Just really fed up and upset and missing my A who seems to have turned into an alien. I managed to get through the wedding where he really was trying to set us up to argue but I recognised this. But now suddenly in the last mo...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I am going to be done with grad school soon and off into the job market (I am excited about this). I have been separated from my AH for most of this time (almost 2 years). In the part of the world where I am in school, I have been working internships and some temp jobs in my new field to gain real life experience...

cen616 · cen616

I posted a few weeks ago about my clean A's relapse talk. It has stopped, for now, and he hasn't given in to his impulses. I'm proud of him. He's back to Red Bull or Pepsi when he goes out, forgoing the "non-alcoholic" beer. He passed up a couple of opportunities to buy/smoke weed, as well....

justme11 · justme11

I am a mom I think my husband has a drinking problem but im not sure...he doesnt drink everyday sometimes for weeks but when he does he is angry usually towards me and has gotten worse over the years and now i am physically sick when i know he is going to go out with his friends because i dont know if he is ok or g...

MIDGET · MIDGET

Wow what a day I had !!! My AH was loaded last nite and actually got soo drunk he peed on the couch cause he ws too drunk to get up.I was soo angry I told him he had to do something today,had to go somewhere,I didnt care where.So he said he wanted to go into in pt . YEA!! So today I left to take the kids to school and t...

Jill · Jill

hi everyone i'm coming up on the end of year 2 of the year of Jill. i have a long way to go so that it's not all about the a. i figure it will take me 7 years, and i have to constantly fight against my own inclination to put the spotlight on anyone else. is that why i'm sitting on a saturday night watching some war m...

Maria123 · Maria123

http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=42762&p=1

Aloha · Aloha

Aloha to all from Hawaii. I'm new here, but not entirely new to Al-anon meetings. While I'm not an alcoholic/recovering alcoholic, I seem to find myself in situations where I'm around them. I also have my own personal compulsive vices, which are overeating - sugar is a huge vice in particular. I'm n...

david62 · david62

((((Family)))) Tonight (Sunday, Dec. 2nd) is our next business meeting. Where: The MIP Alanon Chatroom When: 9:00 pm EST Dress: Casual Old Business: Discussion of Step/Traditions meetings New Business: None, so show up with some! BYOS - Bring Your Own Serenity! See ya there!!!

kissers · kissers

Switchback or living with an alcoholic I love a person, addicted to alcohol. When hes sober this is a wonderful lover, husband, father, partner. A question of treatment is no longer relevant, we discussed it lots of times. Hes a doctor himself its impossible to persuade him or cure, we tried. Should I...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Blame (Preview) Why does it feel so good to blame? Can someone explain the psychology of this? Can someone explain why it feels so good to do this (even know I know it is not the right thing to do). I feel like it is almost intoxicating and therefore hard to avoid some days.	Jean4444	11	735	Dec 7, 2007 by maresie
	Therapy and Counseling (Preview) I posted this in response to the "Acceptance" thread but I realized it's really a new topic so I'm starting one... --------------- When I sought a therapist - at the beginnings of my divorce - it was strictly for myself, not to try and save the marriage. I looked for a psychologist rather th...	barisax	3	668	Dec 7, 2007 by barisax
	20 Days till Christmas (Preview) Christmas is a time of year I have come to dread. I try to be thankful for what I have, but it is so little. We will not have enough money for Christmas presents this year, but I was trying to put up a small tree and my 10 year old daughter was devestated that we weren't putting up the big tree this year. There is...	java	9	2913	Dec 7, 2007 by maresie
	I'm new here (Preview) Hello. everyone. I am here because I am in a relationship with an alcoholic. I suspected he might have a problem with drinking, but I didn't know it was so severe. He said from the beginning that he liked to have his beers, one or two a day. But I noticed him running to the store for som...	dawnie k	6	609	Dec 7, 2007 by maresie
	ending deprivation (Preview) As you all know I left the A with thousands in debt. He in essence stole my truck out from under me and try as I might I could not get any legal remedy on it. For the last 6 months I have been trying to pay down my bills. I have now got two outstanding bills that I have not yet got around to reconciling. Everyth...	maresie2	5	434	Dec 7, 2007 by QOD
	My future (Preview) My BF A has been in the ICU now for almost 2 weeks and I just got an update telling me that IF he makes it out alive his brain will not function as it should and he will not be able to hold down a job or live alone. I am having a really hard time processing this information. It has litterally made me sick to my sto...	Mariedl05	5	423	Dec 7, 2007 by Mariedl05
	He got a continuance! (Preview) My A had court last night and I insisted on going with him, as otherwise he wouldn't tell me what happened. Since he is a big shot attorney (he thinks) and knows the judge, the judge gave him until 12/19 to get enrolled in an alchohol treatment program. I doubt he will - he thinks since he is an attorney he...	Chetch	1	479	Dec 7, 2007 by Karilynn
	funny and sad (Preview) AH is sitting in the car, in the dark, with a beer in a paper bag. The poor dog is in the back seat because AH pretends like he is walking the dog every night. I just think, how sad. He would rather sit in the car in the driveway in the middle of a storm than go to bed with the rest of the family. He does this every n...	RainyJamie	12	483	Dec 7, 2007 by klm4446
	vacationing with the ex (Preview) Background: Ah and I have been separated for 7 mos now, but only now is he working a program and are we acting separated. We've been married for 18 yrs, and rarely took family vacations. His work was always too important and we did not make it a priority. He had plenty of fishing trips with his buddies. He c...	Loupiness	14	517	Dec 7, 2007 by ddub
	7th Tradition and this Board (Preview) How do we "do" the 7th tradition here on this board?!	Jean4444	1	513	Dec 7, 2007 by debilyn
	STARK RAVING SOBER!!!! (Preview) Well, we are at 14 days of being dry and I believe she has gone stark raving sober and is going to drive us stark raving mad. As we are not allowed to tie her up or muzzle her, lmbo, we are just keeping on. Really I am not complaining (much). I would rather see this than what I saw in the emergency room two week...	lilms	6	700	Dec 6, 2007 by lilms
	today (Preview) Feeling depressed, overwhelmed. Time to turn everything over, take step one again and again...discouraged about how hard things feel right now. I cannot quite put my finger on it. My A seemed to be doing Ok for a few months but now is back to square one. I can tell because he accrues lots of expensive o...	Jean4444	2	359	Dec 6, 2007 by Jen
	Painful and bad experience,long (Preview) I am so grateful for Alanon. I learn from everyone,am humbled by everyone sharing. Many years of Al Anon has kept me still putting one foot in front of the other. Now I am having a horrible time. My A left a year plus ago, when he became so sick, that all he wanted was a place to use and be taken care of,enable...	debilyn	22	2016	Dec 6, 2007 by canadianguy
	People pleasing (Preview) About 5 years ago I read a book on People pleasing by Harriett Braiker (my apologies if I am not supposed to mention non al anon books). I was absolutely flabbergasted. I could see clearly I was a people pleaser but I was also in denial. I would people please myself into positions where I was really ang...	maresie2	1	2033	Dec 6, 2007 by Christy
	today is the day!!!!!????? (Preview) Well, today is the day! My husband decided today is the day he is quitting drinking! I am trying to be supportive and have positive attitude, but it is hard, will he actually quit this time??? To many times of oh I am quitting this day!!! However, this time he has joined AA. So hopefully yes today is the day...	acaporali	1	402	Dec 6, 2007 by Gotta_Vent
	A simple question (Preview) what do you do when your A sends you bullying, dismissive, sarcastic emails? Ignore them?	Jean4444	4	552	Dec 6, 2007 by Jen
	Struggling with accepting/letting go/detaching (Preview) Hi y'all, I was on here under the name LisaF, but only posted a couple of times... I'm sorry, this is gonna be a long ramble probably (my posts usually are lol) but I have so much going through my mind right now and I just can't get my mind to slow down... I don't really know much about alanon... I went to a co...	ChicknLittle	8	618	Dec 6, 2007 by Karilynn
	geting the bigger picture (Preview) I am in a work situation that is very very trying for me. Normally I would totally melt under this kind of stuaiton. I always has teh A to fall back on to a certain extent before. He never listened to me ever about any of my issues. At the same time he was "there" as a physical presence and to some ex...	maresie2	3	752	Dec 5, 2007 by RainyJamie
	bad behaviour from me (Preview) Well I have really been struggling, as in stress at work, feeling down and my Aboyf going back to his own place. However we are both appreciating the space and I am not there to take his bad mood swings. He is struggling so am I, but I'm pleased to say the time we have spent tog has been really enjoyable and I a...	chick29	4	758	Dec 5, 2007 by Jerry F
	not liking reality and being stubborn about it. (Preview) 2 years ago when I was brainstorming how I needed to leave the A, one of my failing blocks was that I simply could not accept reality. I wanted the A to change. I stood on my head to make him change. He did change of course, he got much much worse. Now I am making a plan A, B, C about the future I still don't like r...	maresie2	5	537	Dec 5, 2007 by ChicknLittle
	December is good for me - so far (Preview) I had already decided against gifts this year. I'm buying livestock in people's names. They're getting a picture of a critter given to someone whose life will be so much better for this. Just that decision has brought me such peace - now the benefits multiply as I have free time otherwise spent in the in...	Jill	3	607	Dec 5, 2007 by maresie2
	Court tomorrow (Preview) My AH casually announced to me last night that he has to go to Court tomorrow and the Judge wants him to bring proof that he is in an alcohol treatment program. Of course he can't do that because he's still looking for that 6 week program that will give him a certificate saying he is no longer an A. He had pro...	Chetch	4	461	Dec 5, 2007 by carolinagirl
	My break through....a new attitude... (Preview) ...got to feel good about this as I think I am experiencing a breakthrough from the brick wall I seem to have come up again just lately; and it is all because I have friends here to talk to, who listen and them discuss and share their experiences and what has worked for them [and sometimes what has NOT worke...	Heartbroken	5	623	Dec 5, 2007 by Tenderheartsks
	A Whole Lot of Nothin' (Preview) I heard from a girlfriend I talked to on the phone today that the first big snow storm of the season was hitting back home. So, I texted my AH "snow?" and got nothing back. I know I cannot control him in any way but what is so hard about responding to something as pure and simple as this? What doe...	Jean4444	4	627	Dec 5, 2007 by round3
	When will I learn? (Preview) Hi Alanoners, When will I learn to shut my mouth and not react? I had a tough week. It started with a coworker calling me a liar. Then another coworker flipped me off, missed a meeting. So by Friday I was carrying all those victim/resentments with me. In walks the President and we talk. I complained about...	nmike	7	617	Dec 5, 2007 by round3
	New and a bit confused (Preview) Hi there, I am a bit confused and unsure if I am even on the right site. My husband is a recovering alcoholic, but is addicted to Vicoden and Soma, here's the kicker.. he gets the script filled (very legally by the way) once a month for his "back Pain" and within 7 days has consumed all the...	Notthisagain	7	679	Dec 5, 2007 by Karilynn
	New at this--a few questions (Preview) Hey all. I have not yet been to my first al-anon meeting, but I'm planning on going on Friday, when they have babysitting. I have told my AH time and time again that I would leave him if he didn't get help, go to AA. etc. He did quit drinking for 4 months this last time but now we're back to the same ol' same o...	Mambo Queen	6	657	Dec 4, 2007 by Lookingforpeace
	Does Anyone Have (Preview) Does anyone have jcarney pic site addie? ive always had it, and cant access it now seems its changed server/site wanted to add my pic. -- Edited by belle1 at 18:18, 2007-12-03 -- Edited by belle1 at 18:18, 2007-12-03	belle1	3	449	Dec 4, 2007 by jrtjosey
	Trusting my HP at the wheel (Preview) Hello everyone,I apologize for not replying to as many as I use to I typically use private messaging to offer E, S and H or sometimes simply hugs of support.I happen to be in a rather bad place at the moment and using all the tools HP has shown me through this program the best I can. Time for me to let my HP ta...	tea2	12	705	Dec 4, 2007 by aunitedway
	transition transition transition (Preview) I feel like I am transitioning from leaving the A to having left the A. I have so much up in the air, job, home, finances, health, dental, vision, isolation. There are moments when I can be at peace, I walked my dogs last night a long long walk for them. For once I did not feel weighed down by the bombardmen...	maresie2	2	568	Dec 4, 2007 by Jean4444
	Happy Hanukkah! (Preview) (((((((Family)))))), To my loving family here who celebrate Hanukkah, may you all have a wonderful and joyous celebration. It's is a beautiful time of year. Much love and blessings to you all. Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty	Karilynn	7	528	Dec 4, 2007 by Christy
	The next thing (Preview) Our son's birthday is on Sunday. Already I have gotten emails and calls asking if he's going to be able to talk to his son on his birthday. I am really regretting ever letting him talk to him in the first place now. Of course he's going to think he's entitled every time he gets the urge now. I am planning...	carolinagirl	2	506	Dec 4, 2007 by maresie2
	How to set/enforce boundaries (Preview) My second post of the day . . . I'm in a bit of a crisis. My ABIL showed up at our door yesterday afternoon. He lives 2 1/2 hours away and just showed up. I was very upset with him over Thanksgiving because he was so drunk. It just really disgusts me. My AH is better (relatively speaking) than he has been i...	steadfast	11	767	Dec 4, 2007 by abbyal
	sore spot really starting to fester--long (Preview) Sounds so gross huh?! Anway I have been having a sore spot with my sober AH and it is getting bigger and bigger!! It is a very touchy topic for lots of people who don't even have alcoholic issues. The subject is church. I grew up going to church and I happen to have a wonderful christian family. I do get...	hudsond	10	562	Dec 4, 2007 by barisax
	I'm back! - Been a while (Preview) Ok, so it has been 3 or 4 weeks since I have been able to really log on. We moved our office and were without internet forever. Shew...good to be back on. Sure have needed my Al-anon family lately. My AH has been a real booger. We got into the dumbest fight a few weeks back. Rather he fought w/me and I cho...	QOD	5	542	Dec 4, 2007 by carolinagirl
	my first meeting thank you! (Preview) I have went to my first meeting last night and just wanted to thank you for all your kind responses on here over the weekend and just for this site in general i dont know how many pages of bulletins i read the past couple days...i woke up yesterday on a mission to get out of bed...yea its been that bad...i ran...	justme11	6	655	Dec 4, 2007 by nmike
	Public Campaign for AA (Preview) Hello All: My AW belongs to a very large, strong AA group that has been meeting for about 20 years in a large auditorium at a local hospital. The group meets at 7-9pm on Friday nights. The meeting often attracts over a hundred people in large part because the parking is free at that time of night. However,...	Bradman	5	715	Dec 4, 2007 by Karilynn
	December Business Meeting Minutes: (Preview) December Business Meeting Minutes; MIP December 2/2007 Chairperson opened meeting with the Serenity Prayer 1st thing on agenda was the OP schedule which was posted. some Alternative positions were also filled. General guidelines and responsibilities on being a chairperson were also pos...	serenity62	0	454	Dec 3, 2007 by serenity62
	Imagine a road (Preview) Hubby passed this on to me. I'm sure in his mind he was thinking of his A-ism and the choices he's made, but if I'm being honest, I can see myself too. I thought It was a good message to share. Imagine a Road a Beautiful wide and straight Road of Gold stretching as far as the eye can see A Road that Feels-Go...	Christy	5	558	Dec 3, 2007 by Jean4444
	Too overwhelmed, when will it end? (Preview) Hi all, I haven't written in months, but here's the story, My AH was fired from his job, a good job, for being intoxicated at work - in October. He's 28, so am I. Then he drank more and more, found a full and part-time job, and we were in the middle of moving across town, did that. He drank more. He got arr...	CJ098	9	786	Dec 3, 2007 by CJ098
	New to Al-Anon Need some advice (Preview) My boyfriend of two years was admitted to ICU about a week ago for numerous problems due to his drinking. The first year we were together everything was great and then this time last year I get a phone call from his mom telling me he was in the ER and I needed to come right away. He spent a couple of weeks in t...	Mariedl05	5	657	Dec 3, 2007 by serendipity
	Trying to understand how NOT to project (Preview) Hello all, I went to my second f2f meeting this weekend (a beginners class) and they were discussing different slogans. I am struggling on how I can apply this to my life. They discussed how we should take care of ourselves. They also discussed how we should keep an open mind and not project certain o...	steadfast	4	585	Dec 3, 2007 by steadfast
	Resentments (Preview) I don't understand how al anon works but it does even when I don't want it to work so well sometimes. Has anyone else felt that way? I think maybe just changing the focus and having some wonderful al anon folks to acknowledge and relate to how we feel, somehow clears my head so I function better plus learn...	ddub	11	676	Dec 3, 2007 by Jean4444
	Looking for work again, looking to the new year (Preview) I have at most 6 weeks at this job I am at. There are good things and bad things about this job. The commute is a killer, the hours are a killer. The money I earn though really helps. I have managed to save a tiny tiny amount of money and am working towards paying down my debt. I need two solid years of paying...	maresie2	1	399	Dec 3, 2007 by Jean4444
	the next holidays (Preview) These are my first holidays without the A in 7 years. I am lost. I did not do well on Thanksgiving at all. I am going to try to make a huge effort for the Christmas. My issue is that I will be laid off for 10 days so I need to find something to tide me over during that time. I'm doing much much better on the money is...	maresie	10	659	Dec 3, 2007 by maresie2
	Sunday Night Meeting (Preview) Hi family, I want to aplogize for not making the meeting tonight. We have had a lot (ok probably not really, but for this area yes) of snow and my power was off and on all day. I couldn't get on. I also want to aologize to my partner. :) Let's do next week. Have any topics you want partner? Yours in recovery, Ma...	Mandy123	0	348	Dec 3, 2007 by Mandy123
	Hello New here and looking for advice .. (Preview) Hello, I'm new to Alanon, I hope its the right forum for my problem. My mother is an alcoholic, though it wasn't always so, she and my dad only started drinking in their 30's, so even though drink was always around and she could be a messy drunk I couldn't say it caused any problems in our lives, it just was...	boysmum	4	607	Dec 2, 2007 by nmike
	Scared (Preview) I know I haven't posted in a while. I have been reading though and working on taking care of my own things instead of my a's. Still have not been to a F2f meeting though. I have felt strongly complelled to do so though. My husband (my a) had a seizure on Tuesday night. It was his first one ever. We think...	Lookingforpeace	5	573	Dec 2, 2007 by nmike
	MY FIRST TIME, WHERE TO START? (Preview) Hi, This is my first time at any meeting/discussion. So, Here is a little history- My husband and I met 12 years ago, we lived together a few years before getting married. Just before we got married, he started drinking more than he had before, and said he was " building up so he could drink at the rec...	acaporali	4	705	Dec 2, 2007 by maresie
	another newbie (Preview) I have been reading this board since May, Iove it. so much insight]gt thank you. My AH and Ihave been marridw 19yrs in aug, he moved out in May, he got involved with a woman from his work, I really don't think they are involved anymore. He moved up to our cottage that we just got the year before - speak of re...	peace	2	515	Dec 2, 2007 by maresie
	4 years and now empty (Preview) I know it not for me to work out but I'm feeling it harder and harder to crawl out of bed. Just really fed up and upset and missing my A who seems to have turned into an alien. I managed to get through the wedding where he really was trying to set us up to argue but I recognised this. But now suddenly in the last mo...	chick29	8	629	Dec 2, 2007 by aunitedway
	Could use some perspective on this... (Preview) I am going to be done with grad school soon and off into the job market (I am excited about this). I have been separated from my AH for most of this time (almost 2 years). In the part of the world where I am in school, I have been working internships and some temp jobs in my new field to gain real life experience...	Jean4444	7	655	Dec 2, 2007 by lin0606
	so far, so good... (Preview) I posted a few weeks ago about my clean A's relapse talk. It has stopped, for now, and he hasn't given in to his impulses. I'm proud of him. He's back to Red Bull or Pepsi when he goes out, forgoing the "non-alcoholic" beer. He passed up a couple of opportunities to buy/smoke weed, as well....	cen616	2	556	Dec 2, 2007 by Karilynn
	im new to this please help (Preview) I am a mom I think my husband has a drinking problem but im not sure...he doesnt drink everyday sometimes for weeks but when he does he is angry usually towards me and has gotten worse over the years and now i am physically sick when i know he is going to go out with his friends because i dont know if he is ok or g...	justme11	7	828	Dec 2, 2007 by Karilynn
	what a day (Preview) Wow what a day I had !!! My AH was loaded last nite and actually got soo drunk he peed on the couch cause he ws too drunk to get up.I was soo angry I told him he had to do something today,had to go somewhere,I didnt care where.So he said he wanted to go into in pt . YEA!! So today I left to take the kids to school and t...	MIDGET	2	381	Dec 2, 2007 by Karilynn
	my work is between my ears (Preview) hi everyone i'm coming up on the end of year 2 of the year of Jill. i have a long way to go so that it's not all about the a. i figure it will take me 7 years, and i have to constantly fight against my own inclination to put the spotlight on anyone else. is that why i'm sitting on a saturday night watching some war m...	Jill	3	581	Dec 2, 2007 by NightWatcher
	help - if you can (Preview) http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=42762&p=1	Maria123	1	438	Dec 2, 2007 by getoverit
	Aloha everyone - new here (Preview) Aloha to all from Hawaii. I'm new here, but not entirely new to Al-anon meetings. While I'm not an alcoholic/recovering alcoholic, I seem to find myself in situations where I'm around them. I also have my own personal compulsive vices, which are overeating - sugar is a huge vice in particular. I'm n...	Aloha	7	678	Dec 2, 2007 by Aloha
	December business meeting tonight! (Preview) ((((Family)))) Tonight (Sunday, Dec. 2nd) is our next business meeting. Where: The MIP Alanon Chatroom When: 9:00 pm EST Dress: Casual Old Business: Discussion of Step/Traditions meetings New Business: None, so show up with some! BYOS - Bring Your Own Serenity! See ya there!!!	david62	0	343	Dec 2, 2007 by david62
	Article I found on living with an alcoholic (Preview) Switchback or living with an alcoholic I love a person, addicted to alcohol. When hes sober this is a wonderful lover, husband, father, partner. A question of treatment is no longer relevant, we discussed it lots of times. Hes a doctor himself its impossible to persuade him or cure, we tried. Should I...	kissers	1	668	Dec 2, 2007 by ddub
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.