Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

new member · cbu03

I am new here, I have read several of the topics lateley, but never posted anything. My husband is an alcoholic and it is eating me alive he has said that he will cut back, but I know he can't. The past month he has been trying to cut back, but I also know he is doing it behind my back, he works 3rd shift, so he w...

Minnehaha · Minnehaha

OMG, my daughter just sent me copies of emails that my husband has been sending to her over the past few nights, late at night. He is out of town because he works far away 5 days a week and is working through the weekend this weekend. He is sending her one line love notes. The first year we were married he m...

mlmb10 · mlmb10

I never realized that I was in a family of alcoholics until recently.....and I'm still questioning my assumption that their alcoholics. Am I just making it up? Am I just looking for a reason to our problems? Drinking is such a normal part of our life that it's hard for me to see anything else. My grandfat...

kitty · kitty

I am ACoA so I was born into & raised with this disease. I think AcoA's have more trouble detaching, not projecting & learning to focus on self b/c from day one of life, we are asked subconsciously & subliminally by our family of origin to be a part of the emotional & dysfunctional sou...

humeyayu · humeyayu

I don't even know where to start, but I do know that I need to be able to finally tell someone what is going on. I feel like I am living in a secret war sometimes, but maybe that is being overly dramatic. In any case, part of my protecting my AH is keeping his secret. He is a doctor (as am I) and I don't want him...

Maria123 · Maria123

I have this spiritual calendar and one of my pages was: "Why has the flower wilted? I pressed it to my heart with anxiety and love; this is why the flower has wilted." Source Rabindranath Tagore Thank goodness for this program and the gift of acceptance for me in so many aspects of my life. ...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

March was when I last posted, i went back and read all my posts, I haven't written, but I read here EVERYDAY! All you guys have really helped me alot. soooooooo many things have been going on in my life. Somethings that I'm not ready to talk about with anyone. Somedays I feel like I have made no progress, b...

jaysbaby · jaysbaby

I am scared, but tomorrow morning I go to my first face to face meeting at 10:30am. It's called the "Women in Spirituality" group. This is perfect because it is really close to my apartment, and I can walk over. It is also an all women group, so I can better relate... I am scared, but I am goin...

irish54 · irish54

> Read this one slowly and carefully, &learn its valuable lesson. > > ------------------------------- > > A Dog's Purpose > > Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish > Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife, Lisa, and...

ruthiez · ruthiez

I just wanted to say thank you for the online meetings and chats. I work odd hours (nights) and the one meeting locally is sorta falling apart. For that reason I rely on the online meetings and chat for support. Sometimes it's nice to just have a place to talk about how I feel to those who understand as p...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Does anyone else have trouble reading some of the posts that have very tiny fonts, or are colored lighter? I so enjoy reading over here, and although I haven't had much time to reply lately, I still read every chance I get. Our little Alanon group here in my home town has already gone bust as I was the only o...

Monikah · Monikah

My husband is a very high functioning person, never violent, no DUI or anything like that, but he is secretive about drinking and is just plain stupid-seeming when he drinks. I always feel like I have been tricked by his drinking in secret, and it is repugnant to me. He was sober on his own for six month...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

If only AH was capable of understanding how much I have forgiven him. But I wonder, can I truly forgive him if he is not worthy? Or am I really forgiving him at all? Maybe I am simply allowing unacceptable behavior to continue under the guise of forgiveness. In my heart I know I have not forgiven many thing...

Suzannah · Suzannah

I was so taken by this one liner that I wanted to share it with you all. HOPE CAN BE IGNITED BY A SPARK OF ...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, My car broke on saturday, fix now thank you HP, but had to drive ex as to work yesterday. He proceeded to stare at me while I was trying to reverse it, I have an automatic this is a stick shift so it took me a moment. I told him to **** off, of course now he is milking this, I just want him to move out, am si...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Too exhausted to do much right now, however, I am copying and pasting the email I sent to my pastoral team as my update on my doctors and hospital appointments this week; Dear All, Firstly I know that some of you will be going away now that school is out, however I am still simply reporting my situation as...

MidwestMom · MidwestMom

Hi everyone, I'm new to the forum and so glad to find it! I have been with my fiance for 3 years, and he is an alcoholic. The drunken epsidoes have progressed from just passing out or acting a fool, to major verbal abuse, and slight physical confrontation. My family is burned out on hearing about my proble...

JenniferN · JenniferN

I received this in my email today and thought you all would enjoy something funny. The Marriage Proposal Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they know they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand. Bruce bravely wal...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

NOW is the only moment we have, and that's already gone.

jaysbaby · jaysbaby

Hi everyone... just an update... My AH has started taking Seroquel for his Bipolar about 7 days now. He promised that he would stop drinking and drugging, and take his meds and stop the partying. He did not come home until 11:30pm lastnite. Please keep in mind, that he is disabled, and doesn't have a j...

Nicole · Nicole

I just wanted to share how much I'm loving Alanon. I have been going for about 3 years and just recently started really getting involved and working a "good" program and it feels so good. I'm only on the first step but this time I get it. I'm understanding how it works. I don't get 2-12 yet but I'...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Even though I feel like my program is pretty strong I still struggle with wanting certain people to act, behave and 'be" a certain way. I will most likely struggle with this a little all my life. At least now, I can step back and observe this behavior and make changes to correct it. I know that when...

henryg · henryg

AH is in rehab and says he's not drinking but sometimes when I get home he seems kind of impaired, like his speech is off and very emotional and even a bit stumbly sometimes. He says in rehab they told him that this can happen as the body adjusts to being without alcohol but it triggers me so much because it...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family)))), A very good morning to you all on this hot, humid and sticky Wednesday. I thought I would update you on a few things. First of all, hubby is hanging in there. The doctor started him on fluxomine which makes him extremely dizzy. This is normal. He can't do much as it takes alot out of...

mslouise · mslouise

Basically, this post is just to vent. I have been very insecure these last couple of days. Not sure why...could be because my bf slipped one day last week...could be pms...who really knows. I do ususally get weird around my pms days, so maybe that's what it is??? Anyways, here is my vent: the last...

carosie · carosie

Dear MIP family, I am back home after my brother's death. It was/is a very sad time for me. I loved my brother very much. We were the two oldest of six and grew up together and no matter where we were we always kept contact and knew that the bond we had as children was strong. My siblings who drink and who a...

Minnehaha · Minnehaha

Ok people, it's me again....I'm not sure if I have a question or just need to be heard. My husband is a recovering A but his new drug of choice is his adult daughter. We had about the millionth discussion about her and him last night. She treats him like cold leftovers, all the while thinking she is a gre...

greta · greta

This morning I got up and started out with an old habit that I wish my brain would unlearn! I started going through my pity pot list. This was how my days started before alanon. It would start with my first waking moment. I would replay my list of gripes, resentments until I had a terrible attitude set...

maresie · maresie

6 months ago a friend of mine suggested I get rid of my dogs. He thought it was best I get rid of them because he knew what was better for me than I did. I became incredibly distraught and felt abandoned. 6 months later her emails me and suggests I give him my sisters address in case something happens to me. Ke...

Flutterbye · Flutterbye

Hi all, This is my first post. My father is an alcoholic. He drank so much that he has possibly given himself irreversible brain damage, in the form of short-term memory loss. He broke his hip last summer and was hospitalized for three months due to: 1. The Hip, 2. The bed sore, 3. And the DT...

maresie · maresie

As you all know I have significant issues with my roommates to say the least. I really want to make them all dysfunctional and me functional. The truth is that many many times I find it super hard to be civil and not be rude or not be absolutely exasperated. I'e been aware that my closest roomate (in proxi...

charlescharles · charlescharles

tired today..a little bored..a little angry..a little lonely..a little hungry meeting this morning..therapy this afternoon...i think i'll see a movie tonight..or read a book i just feel a bit shot out at the moment one of those hump day wednesdays a guy in the meeting this morning spoke of his life....

Diva · Diva

I could wring someone's neck!!! Knowing, I suppose, that we love cats, some jerk has put a tiny kitten in our fenced back yard. I would guess her to be three to four weeks old. She looks healthy, but does have some fleas. I telephoned our county Humane Association, for whom I used to volunteer. They adver...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Just thought I'd give ya'll an update on the "situation" with my ex a b/f. As some may remember, after being apart for several months, my ex and I sorta rekindled a friendship. Well to make a long story short, it started to go a little too far. I had my guard up though (thankfully) and knew wh...

joyoma · joyoma

Today was my consult with thoracic surgeon for the lung nodules discovered in my cancer check-up in June. Things are moving way way too fast for me, but have to cope. Am scheduled for surgery on Monday morning. Will be in SCU for 24 hours and then in hospital for several days. This is ten times more up...

JenniferN · JenniferN

Acting....not reacting...THAT is my struggle since last night. He came home an hour and a half late from his meeting. He said he went to Shoney's with some people from the group. I never asked. I didn't REact. I ACTED. I did NOTHING. I said NOTHING. I wasn't being hateful, didn't project an attitude, an...

Gared · Gared

I've been posting before about my experience with my ex A who has been in my life. I know that I am going through the grieving process and right now I'm in the pissed off stage. Gawd am I pissed off. He sounds so happy in Florida and he's living his life and doing his own thing and I'm still dealing with the...

afglin · afglin

I was in chat this week and a memebr in there had jsut returned from the Internaional confernence and was talking abouta new AlAnon book. I called WSO to get the ordering information. It is called Discovering CHoices The price is $15 and there is $7 shipping (up to abut $87 and then it is 8%. Iordered 6 a...

Minnehaha · Minnehaha

I have a question on interpretation of parts of the Just for Today "pledge" or however you would define it. The first paragraph talks about not concerning yourself about solving your entire life's problems, but just handling today's situation, handling something that would "ap...

charlescharles · charlescharles

tired today..a little bored..a little angry..a little lonely..a little hungry meeting this morning..therapy this afternoon...i think i'll see a movie tonight..or read a book i just feel a bit shot out at the moment one of those hump day wednesdays a guy in the meeting this morning spoke of his life....

charlescharles · charlescharles

wokeup this morning with a sort of emotional hangover from the day before when i went to two meetings had conflict with my mate and generally..well..did some step work and talked to my higher power..i think i really just wore myself out yesterday one day at a time..i know..but maybe the spirits were di...

TK · TK

Does anyone know anything about this topic? I'm afraid a loved one of mine is getting into this crap. On their days off, all they do is look at this junk or play games on the other computer. I don't know how to approach this person or even what to say. I need help with this.

Becky1 · Becky1

Tomorrow I have to go to court for the restraining order I filed against my AH, so I could at least have a little peace and quiet and get my stuff moved out of the house. Almost everything is moved, I just have a couple more things there, and as of tomorrow, I plan to stay at the apartment. I have not even stay...

charlescharles · charlescharles

..seems to be on between my ex and my present girlfriend..i am staying out of it..i feel somewhat nuetral all though i guess my allegience...well..my allegience is to me...i feel like they can beat each other down any way they want..i need need need to stay out of it i am basically convinced it has nothi...

angel66 · angel66

My AH is always a happy drunk until tonight. He really frightened my daughter and me. He goes to play trivia at the bar on Tues nights which is over around 10 pm. He came home at 1 am and from what my daughter said, he sat down, lit a cig and passed out in the chair..........which is normal. So, I'm awaken a...

MomGayle42 · MomGayle42

I have shared with everyone about my sons Tramatic Brain Injury and my inability to know what is enabling and was is not. I am so confused at times and I cannot let it go. I cannot watch TV or do anything it seems but process and re-process decisions I need to make. In an effort to let go I am again posting and...

glad · glad

The reason I have put off working the steps is because I know I will eventually get to the part where I have to admit to someone all my wrongs. My most awful acts have been in reaction to pain or reaction to lack of happiness. Certain times "pop" into my head and I think wow no way can I admit that to...

angel123 · angel123

Smoke before fire To set a fire We gather things to burn Wood kindling We also can burn the past behind us Taking what lit like a fire. within us And learned from it. So we do not get burnt with it again As the fire smoked I knew the light would come Light of a fire to warm the morning chill We all have a flame of li...

ddub · ddub

I use to think being a survivor was a good thing but Suzannah's post on "IF" reminded me there is lots more I learned earlier that I can do rather than just survive. I needed to review this info and will share it with you all tonight too. It renews my hope that I can do more than survive, I can t...

Suzannah · Suzannah

If If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you; If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too: If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or being hated don't give way to hating, An...

ddub · ddub

spinning my wheels again which is another revelation - I had used al anon tools to get through a stressful month of June living amongst siblings again, away from my kids and being with my mom during her death. I was unable to attend al anon meetings which was a big mistake because I can see the progress m...

greta · greta

I've spent sometime the last week or so looking at my progress in alanon. It started from a response to a posting I made here...A very wise person responded "don't react". When I read that, I saw that I was fighting not going where I had jumped so many times before...reacting and then think...

Suzannah · Suzannah

...I carry the image of the conveyor belt, thanks Jean, and hold on tight to that "time for me", thanks CJ, and take the many prayers and ((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))) sent my way from this family; and remember my friends words and encouragement of yesterday, Jerry, ddub, Cookie, S...

charlescharles · charlescharles

the "xxx" always hits the fan when you least expect it this morning i get the ranting and raving phone call..the girlfriend and the ex in cahoots and in a war against each other really having nothing to do with me...the death threats from one to the other..it all makes me sick anyway..the &...

charlescharles · charlescharles

a bit confused tonight...the girlfriend asked if i wanted her to spend the night...my answer was simply...if you want to...do i have to pick you up.. she hung up on that i think she wants a full on over the top day in and day out relationship and i am still uncertain...and have been the entire time if this i...

SuSUN · SuSUN

Do any of you have a Significant Other with weak legs, numbness in toes that is non-diabetic related? I have been watching this deterioration take place in my AH and wondered if this could be alcohol-related toxic nerve damage? He also has the muscle wasting with the malnutrition and very large abdo...

angel123 · angel123

Years ago 10/14/92 Day before my Birthday my sponsor gave me a gift, Although she has given me other gifts of this great program too. It was a book Marker, on the store bought side ..( by Hazelden) said Letting Go The world is a better place When we take care of ourselves. This was a time in my life I was raisi...

irish54 · irish54

Wow! I went and looked back at some of my posts from last year ... gives you mixed feelings.... but ALWAYS a reminder than we have no control. The grandaughter I raised as my daughter did graduate May 2007 and it was wonderful!!!! Her birthmother - my oldest daughter - flew out for that. I was happy...

DeadOrAlive · DeadOrAlive

I knew he had been smoking pot but thought (d e n i a l) it was just a joint now and then with friends. Now I found two sandwich baggies nearly both full of pot in his room. My sis says that could be worth as much as $500 each bag!!!! Is that true???? I checked his bank account and there are no withdrawals. N...

Nicole · Nicole

I don't like what I'm seeing right now about myself but I like that it's coming to head. I feel like I am going crazy in the sense that I say I'm not going to do it and all of a sudden I do it. Spying on my husbands every move. I snoop around and look for clues and I'm just waiting or for him to say I'm in love with som...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	new member (Preview) I am new here, I have read several of the topics lateley, but never posted anything. My husband is an alcoholic and it is eating me alive he has said that he will cut back, but I know he can't. The past month he has been trying to cut back, but I also know he is doing it behind my back, he works 3rd shift, so he w...	cbu03	1	405	Jul 13, 2008 by Jerry F
	My world has just blown up (Preview) OMG, my daughter just sent me copies of emails that my husband has been sending to her over the past few nights, late at night. He is out of town because he works far away 5 days a week and is working through the weekend this weekend. He is sending her one line love notes. The first year we were married he m...	Minnehaha	10	535	Jul 13, 2008 by Minnehaha
	Do I belong here? (Preview) I never realized that I was in a family of alcoholics until recently.....and I'm still questioning my assumption that their alcoholics. Am I just making it up? Am I just looking for a reason to our problems? Drinking is such a normal part of our life that it's hard for me to see anything else. My grandfat...	mlmb10	5	1858	Jul 13, 2008 by cbu03
	Ways I use the tools to work my own Program (Preview) I am ACoA so I was born into & raised with this disease. I think AcoA's have more trouble detaching, not projecting & learning to focus on self b/c from day one of life, we are asked subconsciously & subliminally by our family of origin to be a part of the emotional & dysfunctional sou...	kitty	3	1154	Jul 13, 2008 by maresie
	I think I need this place (Preview) I don't even know where to start, but I do know that I need to be able to finally tell someone what is going on. I feel like I am living in a secret war sometimes, but maybe that is being overly dramatic. In any case, part of my protecting my AH is keeping his secret. He is a doctor (as am I) and I don't want him...	humeyayu	6	471	Jul 13, 2008 by maresie
	acceptance is the key (Preview) I have this spiritual calendar and one of my pages was: "Why has the flower wilted? I pressed it to my heart with anxiety and love; this is why the flower has wilted." Source Rabindranath Tagore Thank goodness for this program and the gift of acceptance for me in so many aspects of my life. ...	Maria123	8	679	Jul 13, 2008 by maresie
	It's Been A While Since I Posted!!! (Preview) March was when I last posted, i went back and read all my posts, I haven't written, but I read here EVERYDAY! All you guys have really helped me alot. soooooooo many things have been going on in my life. Somethings that I'm not ready to talk about with anyone. Somedays I feel like I have made no progress, b...	sisdragonfly1957	1	470	Jul 13, 2008 by Bettina
	My first Al - Anon meeting tomorrow (Preview) I am scared, but tomorrow morning I go to my first face to face meeting at 10:30am. It's called the "Women in Spirituality" group. This is perfect because it is really close to my apartment, and I can walk over. It is also an all women group, so I can better relate... I am scared, but I am goin...	jaysbaby	6	579	Jul 12, 2008 by angel66
	Inspirational -- A Dog's Purpose (Preview) > Read this one slowly and carefully, &learn its valuable lesson. > > ------------------------------- > > A Dog's Purpose > > Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish > Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife, Lisa, and...	irish54	8	774	Jul 12, 2008 by angel66
	Thank You (Preview) I just wanted to say thank you for the online meetings and chats. I work odd hours (nights) and the one meeting locally is sorta falling apart. For that reason I rely on the online meetings and chat for support. Sometimes it's nice to just have a place to talk about how I feel to those who understand as p...	ruthiez	2	444	Jul 12, 2008 by Jerry F
	Is it just me and my aging eyes? (Preview) Does anyone else have trouble reading some of the posts that have very tiny fonts, or are colored lighter? I so enjoy reading over here, and although I haven't had much time to reply lately, I still read every chance I get. Our little Alanon group here in my home town has already gone bust as I was the only o...	Tenderheartsks	5	530	Jul 12, 2008 by Loupiness
	what can I do? (Preview) My husband is a very high functioning person, never violent, no DUI or anything like that, but he is secretive about drinking and is just plain stupid-seeming when he drinks. I always feel like I have been tricked by his drinking in secret, and it is repugnant to me. He was sober on his own for six month...	Monikah	5	528	Jul 12, 2008 by Minnehaha
	Forgiveness = Doormat (Preview) If only AH was capable of understanding how much I have forgiven him. But I wonder, can I truly forgive him if he is not worthy? Or am I really forgiving him at all? Maybe I am simply allowing unacceptable behavior to continue under the guise of forgiveness. In my heart I know I have not forgiven many thing...	RainyJamie	10	665	Jul 12, 2008 by buick23
	Hope for today... (Preview) I was so taken by this one liner that I wanted to share it with you all. HOPE CAN BE IGNITED BY A SPARK OF ...	Suzannah	3	403	Jul 12, 2008 by angel66
	Snapped at ex-A; shoot me (Preview) Dear All, My car broke on saturday, fix now thank you HP, but had to drive ex as to work yesterday. He proceeded to stare at me while I was trying to reverse it, I have an automatic this is a stick shift so it took me a moment. I told him to **** off, of course now he is milking this, I just want him to move out, am si...	maire rua	4	566	Jul 12, 2008 by buick23
	Sick of being sick... (Preview) Too exhausted to do much right now, however, I am copying and pasting the email I sent to my pastoral team as my update on my doctors and hospital appointments this week; Dear All, Firstly I know that some of you will be going away now that school is out, however I am still simply reporting my situation as...	Suzannah	4	621	Jul 11, 2008 by cookie1971
	New to the forum... (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm new to the forum and so glad to find it! I have been with my fiance for 3 years, and he is an alcoholic. The drunken epsidoes have progressed from just passing out or acting a fool, to major verbal abuse, and slight physical confrontation. My family is burned out on hearing about my proble...	MidwestMom	13	648	Jul 11, 2008 by Christy
	A Little Funny (non Al-Anon) (Preview) I received this in my email today and thought you all would enjoy something funny. The Marriage Proposal Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they know they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand. Bruce bravely wal...	JenniferN	1	380	Jul 11, 2008 by MidwestMom
	The Past, The Present, The Future --- Living NOW (Preview) NOW is the only moment we have, and that's already gone.	wallsal55	4	476	Jul 11, 2008 by Jean4444
	I am so proud of ME today... Feeling empowered! (Preview) Hi everyone... just an update... My AH has started taking Seroquel for his Bipolar about 7 days now. He promised that he would stop drinking and drugging, and take his meds and stop the partying. He did not come home until 11:30pm lastnite. Please keep in mind, that he is disabled, and doesn't have a j...	jaysbaby	12	814	Jul 11, 2008 by maresie
	Loving Alanon (Preview) I just wanted to share how much I'm loving Alanon. I have been going for about 3 years and just recently started really getting involved and working a "good" program and it feels so good. I'm only on the first step but this time I get it. I'm understanding how it works. I don't get 2-12 yet but I'...	Nicole	5	464	Jul 11, 2008 by maresie
	wanting to change people (thinking I can!), even now... (Preview) Even though I feel like my program is pretty strong I still struggle with wanting certain people to act, behave and 'be" a certain way. I will most likely struggle with this a little all my life. At least now, I can step back and observe this behavior and make changes to correct it. I know that when...	Jean4444	10	533	Jul 11, 2008 by Jean4444
	Q re Appearing impaired while not drinking (Preview) AH is in rehab and says he's not drinking but sometimes when I get home he seems kind of impaired, like his speech is off and very emotional and even a bit stumbly sometimes. He says in rehab they told him that this can happen as the body adjusts to being without alcohol but it triggers me so much because it...	henryg	8	612	Jul 11, 2008 by cedars
	Update (Preview) (((((Family)))), A very good morning to you all on this hot, humid and sticky Wednesday. I thought I would update you on a few things. First of all, hubby is hanging in there. The doctor started him on fluxomine which makes him extremely dizzy. This is normal. He can't do much as it takes alot out of...	Karilynn	4	1021	Jul 10, 2008 by Maria123
	Just venting..insecure today (Preview) Basically, this post is just to vent. I have been very insecure these last couple of days. Not sure why...could be because my bf slipped one day last week...could be pms...who really knows. I do ususally get weird around my pms days, so maybe that's what it is??? Anyways, here is my vent: the last...	mslouise	3	456	Jul 10, 2008 by Maria123
	back home (Preview) Dear MIP family, I am back home after my brother's death. It was/is a very sad time for me. I loved my brother very much. We were the two oldest of six and grew up together and no matter where we were we always kept contact and knew that the bond we had as children was strong. My siblings who drink and who a...	carosie	8	397	Jul 10, 2008 by Maria123
	drug of choice (Preview) Ok people, it's me again....I'm not sure if I have a question or just need to be heard. My husband is a recovering A but his new drug of choice is his adult daughter. We had about the millionth discussion about her and him last night. She treats him like cold leftovers, all the while thinking she is a gre...	Minnehaha	14	472	Jul 10, 2008 by Minnehaha
	I had to start today over... (Preview) This morning I got up and started out with an old habit that I wish my brain would unlearn! I started going through my pity pot list. This was how my days started before alanon. It would start with my first waking moment. I would replay my list of gripes, resentments until I had a terrible attitude set...	greta	3	690	Jul 10, 2008 by maresie
	reducing enmeshment (Preview) 6 months ago a friend of mine suggested I get rid of my dogs. He thought it was best I get rid of them because he knew what was better for me than I did. I became incredibly distraught and felt abandoned. 6 months later her emails me and suggests I give him my sisters address in case something happens to me. Ke...	maresie	2	408	Jul 10, 2008 by maresie
	Detachment - Can somebody explain? (Preview) Hi all, This is my first post. My father is an alcoholic. He drank so much that he has possibly given himself irreversible brain damage, in the form of short-term memory loss. He broke his hip last summer and was hospitalized for three months due to: 1. The Hip, 2. The bed sore, 3. And the DT...	Flutterbye	6	656	Jul 10, 2008 by maresie
	Triggers (Preview) As you all know I have significant issues with my roommates to say the least. I really want to make them all dysfunctional and me functional. The truth is that many many times I find it super hard to be civil and not be rude or not be absolutely exasperated. I'e been aware that my closest roomate (in proxi...	maresie	5	403	Jul 10, 2008 by maresie
	more stuff (Preview) tired today..a little bored..a little angry..a little lonely..a little hungry meeting this morning..therapy this afternoon...i think i'll see a movie tonight..or read a book i just feel a bit shot out at the moment one of those hump day wednesdays a guy in the meeting this morning spoke of his life....	charlescharles	2	428	Jul 10, 2008 by lin0606
	I could wring someone's neck!! Off subject (Preview) I could wring someone's neck!!! Knowing, I suppose, that we love cats, some jerk has put a tiny kitten in our fenced back yard. I would guess her to be three to four weeks old. She looks healthy, but does have some fleas. I telephoned our county Humane Association, for whom I used to volunteer. They adver...	Diva	13	815	Jul 10, 2008 by maresie
	Just an update... (Preview) Just thought I'd give ya'll an update on the "situation" with my ex a b/f. As some may remember, after being apart for several months, my ex and I sorta rekindled a friendship. Well to make a long story short, it started to go a little too far. I had my guard up though (thankfully) and knew wh...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	8	456	Jul 10, 2008 by HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
	will be gone for awhile (Preview) Today was my consult with thoracic surgeon for the lung nodules discovered in my cancer check-up in June. Things are moving way way too fast for me, but have to cope. Am scheduled for surgery on Monday morning. Will be in SCU for 24 hours and then in hospital for several days. This is ten times more up...	joyoma	14	671	Jul 10, 2008 by joyoma
	Acting vs. Reacting (battle with hormones, mouth, & mind) (Preview) Acting....not reacting...THAT is my struggle since last night. He came home an hour and a half late from his meeting. He said he went to Shoney's with some people from the group. I never asked. I didn't REact. I ACTED. I did NOTHING. I said NOTHING. I wasn't being hateful, didn't project an attitude, an...	JenniferN	5	2814	Jul 9, 2008 by cookie1971
	Still Sailing with Capt Morgan (Preview) I've been posting before about my experience with my ex A who has been in my life. I know that I am going through the grieving process and right now I'm in the pissed off stage. Gawd am I pissed off. He sounds so happy in Florida and he's living his life and doing his own thing and I'm still dealing with the...	Gared	5	674	Jul 9, 2008 by serendipity
	NEW BOOK! (Preview) I was in chat this week and a memebr in there had jsut returned from the Internaional confernence and was talking abouta new AlAnon book. I called WSO to get the ordering information. It is called Discovering CHoices The price is $15 and there is $7 shipping (up to abut $87 and then it is 8%. Iordered 6 a...	afglin	6	379	Jul 9, 2008 by Minnehaha
	Question about "Just for Today" (Preview) I have a question on interpretation of parts of the Just for Today "pledge" or however you would define it. The first paragraph talks about not concerning yourself about solving your entire life's problems, but just handling today's situation, handling something that would "ap...	Minnehaha	4	638	Jul 9, 2008 by serendipity
	more stuff (Preview) tired today..a little bored..a little angry..a little lonely..a little hungry meeting this morning..therapy this afternoon...i think i'll see a movie tonight..or read a book i just feel a bit shot out at the moment one of those hump day wednesdays a guy in the meeting this morning spoke of his life....	charlescharles	1	343	Jul 9, 2008 by maresie
	just need to vent (Preview) wokeup this morning with a sort of emotional hangover from the day before when i went to two meetings had conflict with my mate and generally..well..did some step work and talked to my higher power..i think i really just wore myself out yesterday one day at a time..i know..but maybe the spirits were di...	charlescharles	3	552	Jul 9, 2008 by maresie
	porn addiction (Preview) Does anyone know anything about this topic? I'm afraid a loved one of mine is getting into this crap. On their days off, all they do is look at this junk or play games on the *other* computer. I don't know how to approach this person or even what to say. I need help with this.	TK	4	1413	Jul 9, 2008 by canadianguy
	omg! Court Tomorrow (Preview) Tomorrow I have to go to court for the restraining order I filed against my AH, so I could at least have a little peace and quiet and get my stuff moved out of the house. Almost everything is moved, I just have a couple more things there, and as of tomorrow, I plan to stay at the apartment. I have not even stay...	Becky1	6	449	Jul 9, 2008 by Lexie
	the war.. (Preview) ..seems to be on between my ex and my present girlfriend..i am staying out of it..i feel somewhat nuetral all though i guess my allegience...well..my allegience is to me...i feel like they can beat each other down any way they want..i need need need to stay out of it i am basically convinced it has nothi...	charlescharles	10	544	Jul 9, 2008 by maresie
	Happy A because Nasty A and threatened me tonight (Preview) My AH is always a happy drunk until tonight. He really frightened my daughter and me. He goes to play trivia at the bar on Tues nights which is over around 10 pm. He came home at 1 am and from what my daughter said, he sat down, lit a cig and passed out in the chair..........which is normal. So, I'm awaken a...	angel66	4	636	Jul 9, 2008 by maresie
	How do I help him? (Preview) I have shared with everyone about my sons Tramatic Brain Injury and my inability to know what is enabling and was is not. I am so confused at times and I cannot let it go. I cannot watch TV or do anything it seems but process and re-process decisions I need to make. In an effort to let go I am again posting and...	MomGayle42	5	657	Jul 9, 2008 by stariana
	Honesty: putting off the steps (Preview) The reason I have put off working the steps is because I know I will eventually get to the part where I have to admit to someone all my wrongs. My most awful acts have been in reaction to pain or reaction to lack of happiness. Certain times "pop" into my head and I think wow no way can I admit that to...	glad	4	533	Jul 9, 2008 by maresie
	Smoke before Fire (Preview) Smoke before fire To set a fire We gather things to burn Wood kindling We also can burn the past behind us Taking what lit like a fire. within us And learned from it. So we do not get burnt with it again As the fire smoked I knew the light would come Light of a fire to warm the morning chill We all have a flame of li...	angel123	0	328	Jul 9, 2008 by angel123
	thrive, not just survive (Preview) I use to think being a survivor was a good thing but Suzannah's post on "IF" reminded me there is lots more I learned earlier that I can do rather than just survive. I needed to review this info and will share it with you all tonight too. It renews my hope that I can do more than survive, I can t...	ddub	2	827	Jul 9, 2008 by maresie
	IF...Rudyard Kipling.... (Preview) If If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you; If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too: If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or being hated don't give way to hating, An...	Suzannah	6	398	Jul 8, 2008 by ddub
	control, controlled, controlling (Preview) spinning my wheels again which is another revelation - I had used al anon tools to get through a stressful month of June living amongst siblings again, away from my kids and being with my mom during her death. I was unable to attend al anon meetings which was a big mistake because I can see the progress m...	ddub	6	383	Jul 8, 2008 by ddub
	My Journey realized from a glance into the past (Preview) I've spent sometime the last week or so looking at my progress in alanon. It started from a response to a posting I made here...A very wise person responded "don't react". When I read that, I saw that I was fighting not going where I had jumped so many times before...reacting and then think...	greta	7	606	Jul 8, 2008 by cookie1971
	IF... (Preview) ...I carry the image of the conveyor belt, thanks Jean, and hold on tight to that "time for me", thanks CJ, and take the many prayers and ((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))) sent my way from this family; and remember my friends words and encouragement of yesterday, Jerry, ddub, Cookie, S...	Suzannah	2	370	Jul 8, 2008 by cookie1971
	blah blah blah morning (Preview) the "xxx" always hits the fan when you least expect it this morning i get the ranting and raving phone call..the girlfriend and the ex in cahoots and in a war against each other really having nothing to do with me...the death threats from one to the other..it all makes me sick anyway..the &...	charlescharles	8	640	Jul 8, 2008 by Maria123
	still not certain what i am doing (Preview) a bit confused tonight...the girlfriend asked if i wanted her to spend the night...my answer was simply...if you want to...do i have to pick you up.. she hung up on that i think she wants a full on over the top day in and day out relationship and i am still uncertain...and have been the entire time if this i...	charlescharles	10	558	Jul 8, 2008 by Maria123
	Leg Weakness, Symptoms of Alcoholism...? (Preview) Do any of you have a Significant Other with weak legs, numbness in toes that is non-diabetic related? I have been watching this deterioration take place in my AH and wondered if this could be alcohol-related toxic nerve damage? He also has the muscle wasting with the malnutrition and very large abdo...	SuSUN	7	11004	Jul 8, 2008 by round3
	Letting Go (Preview) Years ago 10/14/92 Day before my Birthday my sponsor gave me a gift, Although she has given me other gifts of this great program too. It was a book Marker, on the store bought side ..( by Hazelden) said Letting Go The world is a better place When we take care of ourselves. This was a time in my life I was raisi...	angel123	5	360	Jul 8, 2008 by AlissaRM
	Updates since my comp was down (Preview) Wow! I went and looked back at some of my posts from last year ... gives you mixed feelings.... but ALWAYS a reminder than we have no control. The grandaughter I raised as my daughter did graduate May 2007 and it was wonderful!!!! Her birthmother - my oldest daughter - flew out for that. I was happy...	irish54	4	539	Jul 8, 2008 by irish54
	found pot in teen's room have a question (Preview) I knew he had been smoking pot but thought (d e n i a l) it was just a joint now and then with friends. Now I found two sandwich baggies nearly both full of pot in his room. My sis says that could be worth as much as $500 each bag!!!! Is that true???? I checked his bank account and there are no withdrawals. N...	DeadOrAlive	10	782	Jul 8, 2008 by Mobirdie
	I think I may be coming out of denial about myself (Preview) I don't like what I'm seeing right now about myself but I like that it's coming to head. I feel like I am going crazy in the sense that I say I'm not going to do it and all of a sudden I do it. Spying on my husbands every move. I snoop around and look for clues and I'm just waiting or for him to say I'm in love with som...	Nicole	8	645	Jul 8, 2008 by maresie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.