|
|
Honesty: putting off the steps
(Preview)
The reason I have put off working the steps is because I know I will eventually get to the part where I have to admit to someone all my wrongs. My most awful acts have been in reaction to pain or reaction to lack of happiness. Certain times "pop" into my head and I think wow no way can I admit that to...
|
glad
|
4
|
454
|
|
|
|
Smoke before Fire
(Preview)
Smoke before fire To set a fire We gather things to burn Wood kindling We also can burn the past behind us Taking what lit like a fire. within us And learned from it. So we do not get burnt with it again As the fire smoked I knew the light would come Light of a fire to warm the morning chill We all have a flame of li...
|
angel123
|
0
|
251
|
|
|
|
thrive, not just survive
(Preview)
I use to think being a survivor was a good thing but Suzannah's post on "IF" reminded me there is lots more I learned earlier that I can do rather than just survive. I needed to review this info and will share it with you all tonight too. It renews my hope that I can do more than survive, I can t...
|
ddub
|
2
|
748
|
|
|
|
IF...Rudyard Kipling....
(Preview)
If If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you; If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too: If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or being hated don't give way to hating, An...
|
Suzannah
|
6
|
322
|
|
|
|
control, controlled, controlling
(Preview)
spinning my wheels again which is another revelation - I had used al anon tools to get through a stressful month of June living amongst siblings again, away from my kids and being with my mom during her death. I was unable to attend al anon meetings which was a big mistake because I can see the progress m...
|
ddub
|
6
|
303
|
|
|
|
My Journey realized from a glance into the past
(Preview)
I've spent sometime the last week or so looking at my progress in alanon. It started from a response to a posting I made here...A very wise person responded "don't react". When I read that, I saw that I was fighting not going where I had jumped so many times before...reacting and then think...
|
greta
|
7
|
521
|
|
|
|
IF...
(Preview)
...I carry the image of the conveyor belt, thanks Jean, and hold on tight to that "time for me", thanks CJ, and take the many prayers and ((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))) sent my way from this family; and remember my friends words and encouragement of yesterday, Jerry, ddub, Cookie, S...
|
Suzannah
|
2
|
287
|
|
|
|
blah blah blah morning
(Preview)
the "xxx" always hits the fan when you least expect it this morning i get the ranting and raving phone call..the girlfriend and the ex in cahoots and in a war against each other really having nothing to do with me...the death threats from one to the other..it all makes me sick anyway..the &...
|
charlescharles
|
8
|
558
|
|
|
|
still not certain what i am doing
(Preview)
a bit confused tonight...the girlfriend asked if i wanted her to spend the night...my answer was simply...if you want to...do i have to pick you up.. she hung up on that i think she wants a full on over the top day in and day out relationship and i am still uncertain...and have been the entire time if this i...
|
charlescharles
|
10
|
484
|
|
|
|
Leg Weakness, Symptoms of Alcoholism...?
(Preview)
Do any of you have a Significant Other with weak legs, numbness in toes that is non-diabetic related? I have been watching this deterioration take place in my AH and wondered if this could be alcohol-related toxic nerve damage? He also has the muscle wasting with the malnutrition and very large abdo...
|
SuSUN
|
7
|
10180
|
|
|
|
Letting Go
(Preview)
Years ago 10/14/92 Day before my Birthday my sponsor gave me a gift, Although she has given me other gifts of this great program too. It was a book Marker, on the store bought side ..( by Hazelden) said Letting Go The world is a better place When we take care of ourselves. This was a time in my life I was raisi...
|
angel123
|
5
|
283
|
|
|
|
Updates since my comp was down
(Preview)
Wow! I went and looked back at some of my posts from last year ... gives you mixed feelings.... but ALWAYS a reminder than we have no control. The grandaughter I raised as my daughter did graduate May 2007 and it was wonderful!!!! Her birthmother - my oldest daughter - flew out for that. I was happy...
|
irish54
|
4
|
458
|
|
|
|
found pot in teen's room have a question
(Preview)
I knew he had been smoking pot but thought (d e n i a l) it was just a joint now and then with friends. Now I found two sandwich baggies nearly both full of pot in his room. My sis says that could be worth as much as $500 each bag!!!! Is that true???? I checked his bank account and there are no withdrawals. N...
|
DeadOrAlive
|
10
|
705
|
|
|
|
I think I may be coming out of denial about myself
(Preview)
I don't like what I'm seeing right now about myself but I like that it's coming to head. I feel like I am going crazy in the sense that I say I'm not going to do it and all of a sudden I do it. Spying on my husbands every move. I snoop around and look for clues and I'm just waiting or for him to say I'm in love with som...
|
Nicole
|
8
|
560
|
|
|
|
The Factory (conveyor belt)
(Preview)
I have been visualizing placing all the stuff coming up on a conveyor belt that makes its way to HP. It gets over to him for his turn on the line. Really helping me, thought I would share this industrial image with you all. Of course when I think of conveyor belts, I think of Lucille Ball and the candy episod...
|
Jean4444
|
5
|
597
|
|
|
|
looking at triggers rather than being them
(Preview)
When I left the A one of my most humbling experiences was to take a gift from an ex boyfriend of mine. I had nothing, no resources and I had asked him for help. Getting help from him invovled tremendous triggers for me. He kept telling me that the felt sorry for me. I felt really put down a lot of the time. N...
|
maresie
|
1
|
308
|
|
|
|
"Nature at it's Best"
(Preview)
Nature at its best The morning sun is peeking thru the trees Time for a new beginning of a new day. The unknown, what lies ahead But to set my frame of mind To know all this will come to pass And enjoy the moments and learn, laugh, smile, and be content being me I made a garden of wildflowers at home and potted a...
|
angel123
|
4
|
376
|
|
|
|
No physical support...
(Preview)
This week will be a really heavy week, and although I have found myself pledging it to my HP I still know that humanly it is going to take a lot of ternacity to get through it. I am very low in spirit and I know that my recent encounter on my second fourth step is proving to be very hard going and I have, for this...
|
Suzannah
|
10
|
470
|
|
|
|
I think I learned something!
(Preview)
Friends, We always spend the 4th of July the same way - a parade in the morning and friends' house at night. They live on a golf course and we "sneak" out there to watch fireworks overhead. Nice mellow company and an awesome view. I was happy to discover that the holiday landed on my weekend wit...
|
Loupiness
|
6
|
577
|
|
|
|
on a positive note
(Preview)
I know i'm always whining and complaining so I'll say this. I went on a date this weekend, didn't marry the man. I also didn't obsess, plan, obsess, plan and obsess about what the relationship will become. He didn't follow me home. I didn't sleep with him,. I didn't call him 500 times, he didn't call me 50...
|
maresie
|
7
|
439
|
|
|
|
Mothers worst nightmare
(Preview)
My son started skipping school, disrespecting house rules, bringing strangers into my home and I eventually said enough. He went to stay with his step dad where he had free rein. He went to a party and was assualted. Flown to Harbeview Hospital and had open brain surgery. We did not know if he would liv...
|
MomGayle42
|
18
|
828
|
|
|
|
new to al-anon
(Preview)
I am new to this, I realize that I need recovery from a life time of others drinking and drugs. I am for the first time in my 44 years angry at my father and sister who have been verbally and mentally abusive. How do I deal with the anger. I just hit a wall this past year watching my sister sprial out of control a...
|
mossrn
|
7
|
568
|
|
|
|
Some things don't change
(Preview)
Hi everyone! I have been gone from this site for quite a while, as my computer had crashed. Nice to be back. It's enough to say that alcohol and mental illness has affected me all my life ... father was an alcoholic, husband was an A and drug dealer; children involved with alcohol/drugs, son bipolar...
|
irish54
|
9
|
599
|
|
|
|
Six Months Pregnant/ABF Drinking Again
(Preview)
Hi to everyone out there going through trouble because of the A's we love and pray for. I am so grateful to this site as every time my ABF starts drinking again I can come here and see that there are others out there in my situationwho wish they weren't and are trying so hard to detach.
Sometimes I wonder h...
|
lonewolfmama
|
7
|
691
|
|
|
|
Thankful for brief moment this am and for you guys!
(Preview)
Thanks again for the support of my little family here. After a distant, grumpy sober weekend... This morning a bright, well spoken BF left for his work trip again. He was positive, spoke reasonably about practical issues, sending me money to reimburse our expenses for weekend, and left in a good mo...
|
glad
|
2
|
434
|
|
|
|
Don't know how to let go
(Preview)
I have been in the program for a little over a year and I'm still having trouble letting go. I don't really understand how you can do it. I have tried reading the literature and for a very long time, I thought I had but every single time I'm around my mother in-law, I completely lose it and I don't know why.
...
|
Nicole
|
12
|
774
|
|
|
|
major pity party today
(Preview)
Preface: I am not asking for responses to this post. I just need to get it out of my soul and the only way I can do that is to write. So thanks for reading it...or not. Sorry in advance for giving into depression today. Why is it that weekends and holidays are so hard? I know why for me. I have no one to shar...
|
joyoma
|
6
|
558
|
|
|
|
July Business Meeting-----07/13/08
(Preview)
Hello ((((Family)))) This Sunday evening is the monthly business meeting (9pm CST), I hope you can make it! Please try to be there!!! Here is the agenda for the meeting! MIP Al-Anon Business MeetingJuly 13, 2008Open with Serenity PrayerSecretary's Report ...
|
Mandy123
|
0
|
291
|
|
|
|
Sometimes its HARD to know what I want, exactly...do you know what I mean?
(Preview)
I am in a bit of a bind. Here is my situation. I am going to visit my sweetheart in a few weeks. After he picks me up I can choose to do two things- go with him to a social event related to his job or I can go see my QiGong master and have a session with her/a class. I am struggling with trying to figure out which one t...
|
Jean4444
|
14
|
693
|
|
|
|
REMEMBERING HE IS SICK
(Preview)
(((((Family))))) Things have been very rough at home. I have been battling with bitterness towards my AH. I had been getting very angry after working 14 hour days to come home and find my retired AH passed out on the couch and the house in shambles. So tired of having to deal with it all. I had been trying...
|
cookie1971
|
11
|
630
|
|
|
|
Such Craziness- You couldn't make this one up
(Preview)
[spoiler] If the last few days weren't so pathetic and totally crazy, it would be funny. A Son was rescued again by his separated from W. W has a BF with money who she really doesn't want but he pays for lots. W & BF signed a lease on a house so W can breed dogs. She has 2 female...
|
laurab
|
6
|
657
|
|
|
|
Just freaking ranting and raving!
(Preview)
Weekend, spent time and effort planning very nice bed and breakfast get away. BF was sober but SILENT the whole freaking time. He said most important thing to him was me having a good weekend then acted like a zombie the whole time. NOT one time did he try to engage me in conversation. Sober but distant! P...
|
glad
|
6
|
591
|
|
|
|
Touched by, a Angel
(Preview)
Touched by a angel The nest the root of new beginnings As a baby chick is in its egg, it is a process for the egg to crack open one day. And be free from the comfort zone, to a new surrounding. It depends on food to nurture it. As well as keeping it safe. The little chick is growing and becoming aware of its surro...
|
angel123
|
1
|
395
|
|
|
|
help help help me please
(Preview)
scary times...just got into the rooms of alanon...and back into the rooms of na and aa god grant me hope and wisdom...salvation..serenity and courage my relationship to myself is a rough one right now...need to take more care and responsibility for myself can not continue to blame the other..my par...
|
charlescharles
|
9
|
694
|
|
|
|
update on son
(Preview)
((((((((friends))))))))) My son's court case could not have gone any better today. He had a wonderful judge that is in recovery himself, so has a good understanding of what people go through that are trying to get their lives back on track. To me, that was God working. Anyway, my son will be done wit...
|
Lexie
|
11
|
537
|
|
|
|
Finding my Higher Power
(Preview)
I listen to everyone speak of their HP and how they leave things in their HP's hands etc but I have no understanding of the idea of a HP. I believe in God although (pity party) I feel like I"ve been dealt a really bad hand of cards during my life starting with a cancer diagnosis when I was 29 and leaving m...
|
angel66
|
11
|
2745
|
|
|
|
Hi everyone!
(Preview)
Well... I am doing OK. I just wanted to check in. I hope everyone is having a wonderful 4th of July weekend. Trying to live one day at a time with plans for the future. Hopefully I don't end up projecting and ruining today. I just am so impatient and I want to get things done. Someone suggested writing...
|
Hoot Nanny
|
4
|
385
|
|
|
|
Can this work?
(Preview)
A few months ago I met someone and since I have totally fallen head over heels for him. I met him while on vacation through my brother. We instantly clicked and it felt like we had known each other for years. I live 2,000 miles away from him but we have managed to keep a long distance relationship. I have eve...
|
Alaina
|
13
|
436
|
|
|
|
irritating day
(Preview)
Yes, today the fuel pump died just as we were returning from holidays, am having a run of having everything break together, have had to buy new washing machine and could have done without this expense, still I am trying hard to do a gratitude list, I have a spare car, so just need to transfer insurance on m...
|
maire rua
|
3
|
389
|
|
|
|
Courage to face it all...this is the miracle for today...
(Preview)
Ok, I have taken some time out and decided that after writing about my marriage and the love of my life I have to face it and walk that fourth step through it to get to the other side and into the light of holistic healing. It is really scary to face your worst nightmare, walk with it for twenty so years and the...
|
Suzannah
|
7
|
565
|
|
|
|
What it was like back then...
(Preview)
Just came back from the annual 4th of July joint AA/Al-Anon potluck get together at one of the members home and found a picture of perfection in the mail box. It reminds me of when we were at our very best and totally dependent. That scary perfection time. Yet how beautiful we all were and Ruby Blue get...
|
Jerry F
|
12
|
734
|
|
|
|
I'm Moving On
(Preview)
Sunday, a week ago, AH and I took granddaughter, 7 months old, for a ride into the country, to a dairy farm/ice cream place. He was sweet and kind, helped with the baby, showed her the animals and gave her a taste of his ice cream. Gave her her bottle. She loves her Grandpa. We took lots of pictures that...
|
Becky1
|
12
|
608
|
|
|
|
New name -jackie S now angel66
(Preview)
Just in case anyone who I've talked to wants to know ~Jackie
|
angel66
|
0
|
326
|
|
|
|
tech question - change username
(Preview)
Does anyone know how to change your username? I want to change it to the username I use in the chat room and dont know how. Of course I went to re register but since my email address is already in the system, it wouldnt let me do anything. Thx in advance
|
jackie S
|
1
|
330
|
|
|
|
Issues with Site
(Preview)
Just a quick question..................... Who deals with or handles it when you have problems on the site or your homepage? I've sent several emails out to mip for help without any response. I'm not getting my daily forum digests and dont know if I need to sign up a different way; I already did the mip e...
|
jackie S
|
2
|
269
|
|
|
|
He relapsed..new to Al-Anon..not sure what to say or do.
(Preview)
Hello- I am pretty new to Al-Anon and have been going for about 2 months now. My bf was going to have his 90 pin tomorrow, but he relapsed last night. He recently finished a program (his work held his job for him while he was completeing) and has been going to AA 2x week. Well, I came home last night and tol...
|
mslouise
|
13
|
712
|
|
|
|
MY ESH
(Preview)
Good Morning, I had so much on my goal list for camp, We are having a Pig Roast there is Holiday. As I was preparing food for our journey, making pig in a blanket with mini Hot dogs and crescent rolls, wrapped around them, also was making Mac and cheese with ham in it. Something come over me StopBreath.list...
|
angel123
|
5
|
460
|
|
|
|
It's always there...its not going to go away!
(Preview)
This post is about my stinking thinking. I was recently in a situation where I was going on nothing- no good information about anything. I was operating in the dark. And when I am operating in the dark: where do I go? Into the insanity of my disease: stinking thinking!!! I begin to 1.) doubt, 2.) expect th...
|
Jean4444
|
6
|
792
|
|
|
|
Happy 4th of July!
(Preview)
((((((((Family)))))), To my American family: HAPPY 4TH OF JULY! To my International family: HAPPY WEEKEND! If you get the daily word from Hazelden, Melody Beattie's entry is on it today. It talks about celebrating independence, not only our nation's but independence from codependency and addi...
|
Karilynn
|
2
|
386
|
|
|
|
Happy holidays
(Preview)
My last 6/7 4th of July holidays have all been spent trying to control an A who was out of control. Last year on 4th July I spent all my money trying to get the A off the street. Like always in my codependency I felt the effort would be appreciated (it never was but hope was something I held onto rigidly for a l...
|
maresie
|
6
|
358
|
|
|
|
HAPPY 4TH OF JULY
(Preview)
It's officially after midnight here on the East Coast of the US, so Happy Fourth of July to all my MIP friends. My oldest daughter - my own little firecracker - turns 9 today which is so hard to believe! I just finished frosting the mandatory American flag cake we'll be sharing with my family later toda...
|
lmw
|
2
|
325
|
|
|
|
low expectations and no boundaries (the two don't go together)
(Preview)
When I moved into the house I am in now I was really in a bind. I was desperate to get the dogs out from the A's care. So I didn't even consider the implications of what I was doing. To say I was exhausted was an understatement. When I moved in here there was a man here (he's still here) and he was plesant. Back...
|
maresie
|
1
|
493
|
|
|
|
How to open up a conversation
(Preview)
Well I'm back again - been reading up on the past posts, they have been so helpful -thank you. My conclusion is that I have a dry drunk for a husband. I sat down with him a few days ago and told him how I was feeling and what I needed to ensure that i felt better. In a nutshell he needs to find a job that will pay f...
|
kingston2902
|
4
|
581
|
|
|
|
My A's First "Birthday"
(Preview)
Friday was his first sober birthday. It was wonderful to watch him receive his one year medallion and to hear the speaker's story and to feel the love of all the sober alcoholic's in one room. And for me it was bittersweet. My dad is an active alcoholic. While we were standing shoulder to shoulder and han...
|
JenniferN
|
5
|
615
|
|
|
|
Question Regarding Sober Birthdays
(Preview)
As some of you might recall, my husband slipped up a few weeks back and had at least one drink. If a recovering alcoholic slips up and has even one drink, does that mean he or she has to start all over again counting the days, months of sobriety? Hubby keeps saying it will have his first sober birthday in A...
|
stormie
|
7
|
586
|
|
|
|
new member - Living with a recovering A
(Preview)
We are mid fifties and have been down 25 years of hard road due to my wife's drinking. I am ACOA and codependent of course and drink next to nothing. Maybe 6 drinks/year. She has progressed from 6 beers/day to 18 beers/day, every day, over 30 years. Yes, I said 18. Her drinking has killed any relatio...
|
JohnInFL
|
13
|
795
|
|
|
|
Oh the anger!! Why??
(Preview)
I have been divorced from my exAH since March 08. What an accomplishment for me. I have come so far in the last few years. I amazed at myself for all that I have done. Yet I am even more amazed by where I am still stuck!! By this I mean, I am still so very angry!! The anger helps me get the "must do's&q...
|
QOD
|
15
|
672
|
|
|
|
Better for me so why the confusion?
(Preview)
I've been reading/lurking here for a while now. I'm in a situation now where I really need some feedback. My AH has been sober now for about 3 1/2 years. He doesn't go to AA anymore - he did regularly for the first year but now nothing. He also doesn't work. He has used all his savings/pension. He had this dr...
|
kingston2902
|
4
|
506
|
|
|
|
Spiritual Awakiening
(Preview)
Thank God morning, Remember this old saying some would say Good God morning or Thank God morning I am Thankful the spiritual Awaking I have bin experiencing. I have bin going to camp as you all know. This is where I am most able to learn how to calm me down for this time in my life. I have bin enjoying every mo...
|
angel123
|
2
|
313
|
|
|
|
Resolving "things" vs behavior change with no explaination?
(Preview)
I have realized this week that I really need to let go of "resentment" in order to feel happy. I need to find some answers- Higher Power can provide I know. I am not purposely holding on to things but since my way is to "discuss" feelings about things that happen and my A's is to sim...
|
glad
|
5
|
815
|
|