The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
scary times...just got into the rooms of alanon...and back into the rooms of na and aa
god grant me hope and wisdom...salvation..serenity and courage
my relationship to myself is a rough one right now...need to take more care and responsibility for myself
can not continue to blame the other..my partner...for my own short comings
do i stay or do i go
false promises and i aient strong enough..yet...to get up and say good bye
sort of waiting for that moment when the tension is so high i just pack up and leave?
i love my 'girlfriend'?...i despise her..??..envy her??
anyway..came into the rooms of alanon on a suggestion and because i did not know how to deal with my alcoholic girlfriend anymore...and for the simple fact that i am still uncertain that i am in love with her...that alone...that uncertainty says a lot to me
anyway...i just wanted to say hello...look for help answers...guidance..spiritual principles to keep me going...trying just to get stronger and healthier each day
Hi, and welcome. It's the same program, with maybe a slightly different emphasis. So, you already know how to do this stuff - take it one day at a time; if you are not sure what to do, don't do anything; take baby steps; just do the next right thing.
Co-dependency and unhealthy over-involvement with another person's alcoholism isn't going to kill you, so you can take the time to get some clarity, and find your feet.
One thing you can do right now, if you like - do one thing, no matter how small, that gives you joy or pleasure or peace, and that doesn't have anything to do with the alcoholic in your life. Even if it's just looking out the window at the clouds for five minutes. You have the right to a little serenity in your life, and it is not selfish or disloyal to take it, and enjoy it.
one moment at a time. Just chill, be gentle with yourself. You do not need to make any decisions right now, just chill. breathe. keep coming back here. Hugs, J.
And get real you didn't just come in to say hello (denial) you came in shouting for help and spilling over at the brim. You came to the right place and since you have already tasted recovery in the steps and tranditions manner you must also have a handle on the slogans. Easy does it? One step (day) at a time? others? You can't handle it all at one time and we don't have one simple solution for all of the questions just like your other programs. Soooo I am sure with all the questions that you presented on this visit that you have doubts about what to do right? I'll offer you one of my very best slogans given to me by a former sponsor of the same name spelling, "When in doubt... Don.T" Don't make any decisions other than to get in and stay in program and work that program for a while until the sprial stops and you can start walking somewhat in a straight line and then ponder the questions with the information you have then.
I'm glad you are here. I think that former program is helpful and I know that having other recovering men around me who also have worn my #9s is a gift from HP.
Keep coming back...Remember that slogan, "When in doubt...."
(((((hugs)))))
Almost sounds like an echo of the two ladies who shared before me huh? No problem it was dem ladies that saved my butt when I arrived thru these doors.
"Don.T" Don't make any decisions other than to get in and stay in program and work that program for a while until the sprial stops and you can start walking somewhat in a straight line and then ponder the questions with the information you have then."
Jerry F, this resonates so well good advice!
"anyway...i just wanted to say hello...look for help answers...guidance..spiritual principles to keep me going...trying just to get stronger and healthier each day
thanks for listening"
Charles Welcome to "the club." I think the key is to come here often. I find it hard to find the time or to be settled enough to do all the reading, but I do find some helpful tips, so I guess it just boils down to, "you get out of it what you are willing to put into it." HP check-in always helps me.
Welcome Charles. We have all been there in one way or another. I always felt trapped. Where do I go, what do I do? The Getting Them Sober books helped me alot. I can stay or I can leave just for today and I can also change my mind.
I am where you are... having very hard time this weekend. So I'll just say I care and hope you will keep coming back until you feel more sure about what you think and don't. by the way, Love is a choice, you choose to love her or not..a person doesn't fall in and out of love.. although there are the warm fuzzies that come and go. Let yourself love her it doesn't mean you will or will not stay.. Just love her if you want to and don't feel guilty about it. It's a gift you give her not something that makes you lame or wrong if she behaves as if she does not deserve it.
thanks for all the wonderful feed back...shes actually driving me nuts tonight and she went out and had another long night and came by today for more comfort...actually drives me mad feeling like i have to baby sit someone...and the mind games and manipulation is really really taxing..allthough we did have a few hours of fun and love and light and laughter
really...in some ways i feel like i just need more in my life away from her...and maybe more in my life together with her...this i am still uncertain about
but thank you all for the encouragement and words of wisdom..i will keep coming back
she makes me sick a lot of the time..wish i could tell her that i don't need her in my life allthough i am uncertain that that is a true statement
CC, welcome to MIP. We all have an understanding of where you are right now. It is no fun feeling the way you do and we get that. The only thing I can advise is to do something for yourself, it can be small or big, it's up to you. It will give you a small amount of peace for a period of time, a small self indulgence is good for the soul, I believe. It gives a chance to relax in the midst of chaos. Even if it is just a 5 minute break, its a break that you give youself and you make that decision. You deserve it and you will feel better. I fully believe it will help. I don't know about you but I needed to feel peace even if it was just a cup of coffee and sitting watching a t.v. show for a 1/2 an hour, it was all mine. You have made a wise choice to visit here, I hope you keep coming back and join us for a meeting. This is a great group of characters here. Good luck and take care of you!!
By the time I got here, love was very far from my heart. I think watching a neighbor take back his alcoholic ex wife this weekend reminded me that is where I would be without this program, constantly doubting myself.
This is a great great place. I firmly believe most alcoholics are also very very codependent. In fact when I observe them closely I see tremendous people pleasing going on.
I hope you will stay here. I've been here a few years, it takes a while to feel the changes in yourself, with or without the alcoholic.
