Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

olg1213 · olg1213

Part of my anger problem with alcoholism, is the question of fault. It's the A's choice to drink but not their fault. The consequences of their actions is felt by everyone around them, but it's not their fault. If they get in the car drunk and kill someone, the fault lies on them in the eyes of the cour...

Jen57 · Jen57

I'm new to AlAnon, and I'm learning every day about how ALL the relationships in my family are screwed up. My 15 year old daughter has a pattern of making specific commitments to me and then not keeping them. So I've checked up on her... nagged her... managed her life for her. For a tiny example, she's ta...

Gailey · Gailey

I am sitting at my desk seething. My manager is someone that was a friend of mine before I started working here. She is my sister's best friend. I have been here for going on 12 years and most of the time it is great. I love my job but am getting fed up with the way she runs the office. Over the years the power has...

MommaMia14 · MommaMia14

Need advice, so I thank you in advance. Have a family member (brother in law) who is an alcoholic. Actually several of them are. My husband is a Sober man- does not drink and helpless in this matter. His mother recently died & the brother of my husband is now homeless (actually in the next few day...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

http://www.shydogsdesigns.com/temp/TearsofaWoman.pps

kissers · kissers

the A can schedule a meeting, interview; yet, never make a commitment for us to do anything? It always has to be on the spur of the moment. I don't mind being spontaneous once in a while, but I can't live my life that way when I have a child to consider. Everything seems to be on his terms. He can go out to bars,...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Well, it had been over 2 weeks since I spoke with my ex who is currently sitting in rehab out in California. Today my 'moment of anger' subsided and I decided to call his room knowing that the chances of him answering the phone were slim. They are hardly ever in their room but once in a while one of his 'roo...

Loupiness · Loupiness

My sweet younger sister has a saying about our family which is, "remember when we were all so happy, back in 1994". It's kinda funny, but oh so true. That was the time when we (brothers and sisters) were all just out of college, getting married, first real jobs, having little kids. Yeah, they...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

After a really awesome weekend with my boyfriend and children this morning I have caught myself thinking about my ex A B/F who still sits in rehab. I havent spoken with him in over 2 weeks, but I cant help but have such anger towards him today. How could someone that has lost so much due to an alcohol/dr...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

This month I have not seen my parents at all. I called them when my baby took his first steps. They called me on my birthday. My father suggested that I record the baby walking and put the video on the net so they can see him. They could come here to see him. I live about an hour away from them. I did go to see them...

BigTex93 · BigTex93

day one of my journey. When is enough enough? I am at the point in my marriage where I really feel that she would rather be drunk than be with me. And that is ok...what gets me is my eight yr old daughter. It kills me to think of her going through the family break up thing...but it also kills me to see her witne...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I spent the last two weeks at my sister's and she had a great house guest (along with me) and he and I really hit it off. He was my brother-in-law's best friend. Anyway, we ended up spending quite a bit of time together. He is an A. I was able to have a lot of fun with him without drinking with him and avoiding hi...

david62 · david62

((((Family)))) In my ftf meeting last night the topic was Mistakes. I read a page out of Courage to Change (pg 60) that I found very interesting. For those of you that don't have the book (you should get it!) it begins by talking about how an automatic pilot on an airplane keeps a plane on its course. It doe...

greta · greta

Ya all know I have been struggling with employment issues.. Well I think I have a line on something, although I might need some help from all of you! Please copy and paste the addy below, all the info you need is there! Thanks in advance, Greta http://www.thelopezfamilyonline.com/play.php?first=a...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

In the beginning of al-anon I really needed to figure out some very specific ways to keep the focus on ME. These could also be looked at as INVESTMENTS in ME. I think it would be really helpful for me, right now, to review this and if there are others out there who can add to the list- GREAT! 1.) Education....

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Guess what? My books/software for college were never shipped out. The order wasn't even processed. I called the book store this morning, talked to the manager, and the lady who was supposed to be processing my order went home sick earlier this morning, and the manager couldn't even find the paperwor...

ally · ally

((((((Guys))))))))) You all know i am no longer in Al-anon as a group or online, i do however still practice the principles in my everyday life. For over two years i ate, drank and slept Al-anon. I then saw fit to try living my life on my own and gaining some independence. After six months of no fellowship...

OverTheEdge · OverTheEdge

Hi, I am new here. I have been with my AH for a year and a half. Previously, for twenty years, I was married to an abusive individual. I had to work my escape extremely carefully due to the ex-h's position in the community. Once I got away, I never looked back. I went to therapy, reworked my life and was...

nmike · nmike

I had my interview Friday. It was good. A few questions I just couldn't answer well. I am so glad I applied and went thru the process. It gave me confidence in myself and know that I will be ok whether I get the job or not. I went into the interview with all of your esh and my higher power. It doesn't get any bett...

kissers · kissers

My friend called me and asked me if I wanted to come over for lunch. I thought it was unusual for her to make me lunch. I went over her house and we had lunch. The next thing I knew she had asked me to watch her little daughter while she made a call to a customer (she works from home). I was playing with her daught...

Codependent · Codependent

So the A called me Thursday night to see what I was doing this weekend. We ended up going out Friday night and both "used." Now I feel worthless and guilty and lonely and miss him all over again. It breaks my heart that I cannot seem to be able to be around him and not use with him. It breaks my h...

maire rua · maire rua

Today I resigned from the community council. I have had a lot of hostility from same and rather than let things escalate I sent my message of resignation. I was asked to reconsider and give it more time. I have decided not to as I found it a difficult decision to make but feel it was the right one for me to mak...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Its his disease, NOT MINE! His abuse of drugs and alchol has damaged his body. My dreams of having a child with the man I love are shot. His sperm count is too low. At my annual pap exam, my doc tells me that after 40 MY fertility is cut in half. I am 36 now. And tells me that my A needs serious test done sinc...

SOSAD · SOSAD

HI IVE BEEN AWAY AWHILE the bad news is my ah got pancreantitis, the good news is my ah got pancreantitis. guess from what.? he has stopped drinkig cold turkey 3 weeks . hopefully this is his rock bottm. the dr said if he drinks he will die. he got sick the night after i was ready to go to a lawyer and stop the...

Tracy · Tracy

i HAVE TOLD MY AB THST i NEED SPACE TO DEAL WITH MY EMTIONS. tHIS IS A BOUNDARY i HAVE SET TO PROTECT ME. hE IS PROMISING THE WORLD EVERYTHINGS GOING TO BE O.K, HES GOING TO GET AJOB, A FLAT BASICALLY GROW UP HE WANTS TO BE WITH ME. i SAID HAVE A BREAK FOR 3 MONTHS AND ACTIONS WILL SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS. hE...

lilms · lilms

((((((MIP Family)))) Haven't been around much in the last few months but sure have missed you all. Debilyin, you asked for an update of my adventures. I was laughing so hard trying to think of some. We have basically just been living life at my end of the world. Trying very hard not to focus on the A. So...

codependent_who_knew · codependent_who_knew

Frustrated this morning, got a text from my AH and as he is in the sober living home a week now, hasnt seen the kids, its almost a month now and my poor 6 yr old and 3 yr old are sick with not understanding...... I just keep telling them Daddy is away and God is making him feel better inside, he loves you and miss...

joyoma · joyoma

That phrase of accepting what I cannot change always has troubled me. My entire life, and I am now an old 66, I plunged right in and changed things I wanted changed (for the most part). I was independent and strong, positive, and successful in most everything I ever did. I had a pretty wonderful family l...

olg1213 · olg1213

I have read some of the threads and have gone to a few meetings and I know that I am still new, but noone talks about the anger. My husband is an active A, the longest he has gone without drinking is about thirty days after he smashed our new car, while drunk. He can be verbally abusive,and now the verbal a...

liljeannie · liljeannie

After reading and replying to some posts on dry drunks, I realized that I am in need of some esh myself. My abf has been sober for, well, I really dont know how long now, basically cuz I am no longer keeping tabs on his behavior. Things around here keep getting weirder and weirder. I feel like I am living wi...

liljeannie · liljeannie

After a particularly stressful week, I have been taking some time to take stock in what is going on in my life and around my home. Im not happy wth it. I know it is up to me to change it, and I am trying sooo hard to do it. I feel like my hands are tied right now and that makes me angry. I almost feel like I am bac...

Suzannah · Suzannah

DO I consider: My cup to be half full, or half empty? My successes or my failures most of all? That my life has been well spent, or misused? That I am the sum of all my past experiences and therefore cannot improve, or do I consider myself capable of learning from my past in order to better my future? That lif...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Hey all, I have found two problems with my dating discomforts... First is answering questions about what happened to my last relationship... I find myself not wanting to explain anymore why he doesn't see the kids (he's in jail) or why we split up (he's a heroin addict). On one date in particular they...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I'm just continually running and not meeting the needs of anyone, particularly myself. I even feel behind in this program. Reading my literature is a speed reading adventure. Can't get all the posts read, let alone get it together to respond. Here I am posting at 4:30 a.m. Took an act of God to get to a...

dianab · dianab

I just found out 2 weeks ago that my husband has been using cocanie for 2 years and he has also become and alcoholic. He has spent ever last dime of our money too.He went to the hospital four months ago and his family told me it was a stroke that he had and I believed them and it turned out that it was an over dose...

Bothered · Bothered

Hello I am new to this forum, but I have been in Al Anon for a year now. I have a trust issue with my group and sponsor. I live in a small area where everyone knows everyone else. My husband is the alcoholic and he has stop going to AA and I think it is because of the same issue but he will not admit it. The prob...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

To a drunk, stumbling 20 year old AD in the kitchen looking for something to eat. She kept her back turned and I went to the bathroom, and crawled back into bed with my heart hurting. When I got up later this morning, I had this profound sense of loneliness, realizing once again that my family of origin has...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Wow, it's amazing, the progression of this disease. My 20 year old AD is a binge drinker, just like I was. She stays away from the house when she's drinking as she knows better. I realized tonight, watching her getting all primped up for a birthday 'party' at a friends' house, not lifting a finger around...

mimidtw · mimidtw

Hello everyone, I'm looking forward to the support and insight I can learn here from all of you. Let me start my giving you some insight on my situation. I've been married to my AH for 15 years and been with him for 20 and we have three children. I should have known just from dating I'd be in the situation I am...

greta · greta

Well I did it! I gave my notice at my job. I am kind of getting into the should/shouldn't mode here but I have to go forward with what is done. I just want to run my reasoning by you my roomies and see what you think. Monday the 1st is labor day and it is a time and a half pay day for here. I guess they decided si...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I feel pretty good today! I am still moving. It is stressful but things are moving along. I know that I am doing the right thing by moving back in with my AH. He has 22 mos. of sobriety now. I will definitely keep you all posted as the moving is over & done. I expect to be completely out of my apartmen...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Somethiing else that is bugging me.... I was talking to my AH's sister and mentioned how I could no longer attend a meeting because my AH's schedule changed. She then commented, "don't you want to get your own identity?" When I questioned what she meant, she said something about " n...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hello Friends, I know there are many on this board who feel stuck in thier lives and desire to move forward toward independence. Well, I was watching the news this morning and saw a segment that compelled me to run here and post to you all. There are 2 million dollars worth of full ride scholarships ava...

outoftheblue · outoftheblue

My husband of 10 years decided recently he wanted a divorce and it was ok if I took our kids to Kansas City to live.He apparently no longer wants to be a husband and a father.He moved into a tiny apartment,left me with the kids,bills, and pets.He has taken up with a woman he met a few days after we separated....

pagenie · pagenie

Our son showed up at our church for an 11 am preschool meeting for his daughter. He had a clear liquid that he was drinking from a grape Gatorade bottle. He pretended that it was water but his attitude and the odor told me differently. No, I didn't confront him. I was just very embarressed but never said a...

Maria123 · Maria123

(((Friends))), What a day! Today I received my diploma. It is so pretty in a leatherbound frame. It's my Associates in Science for Business Administration. I can't believe I did it. It actually has MY name on it! My mind was wandering at work today and I was thinking how I wish my Mom were here for me...

charlescharles · charlescharles

..a bit off..can't sleep tonight..hit up four meetings today..guess i needed them out on the weekend..as they see seeing things a bit more clearly but still struggling..as always the glass is more then half full these days..hope is slowly seeping in..as is change..but some of the remnants of the ol...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

And my dogs think I'm nuts! Just spoke to my VR worker on the phone, and my books/software go out UPS today! WOHOOOOOO!!!!!!

palmersno30 · palmersno30

About two months ago my girlfriend of four and a half years ago broke up with me!!! We have a two and a half year old son together! Who I love so much!! Over the course of our relationship she had always told me that I was her soul mate. She cheated on me twice over the course of our four years together and after...

gaelle · gaelle

This is one thing I always asked myself over the years. Many people told me I was such as when I asked the separation from my AH or when I was younger, when I refused to take care of my A step father who was sick (as example) Can we be considered egoist because we are thinking to take care of ourselves??? Sorry...

glad lee · glad lee

I've been trying so hard to find a better job... trying to sell the house... decided to speak up to my divorce attorney by filing a grievance against him to let him know he's billed me unfairly... so many things... I've never had to do on my own. My sponsor, who can't talk much this week b/c of a business c...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Today I tackled the college text book problem. Because the campus is 40 miles away, and all my faxed and emails to the book store last week went unanswered, I did drive the Nissan as all my program friends work during the day. When I got home, I handed the keys back over to AD and walked off. I started off wit...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

My plate overfloweth and then some. The 20 year old AD poked and poked at me and I finally blew. I am in a bad spot right now. I finally have my disability hearing the 16th of next month. It's a long drawn out process. I do get some help from Social Services, but if it wasn't for my dad, I'd be homeless. That 'he...

suzip · suzip

My AH has to turn himself in for 6 months jail term for his 3rd dui. He has been turning himself in every week, then finds reasons not to go. Each time he decides to go, he gets a call for a short time job(union worker)and he takes it. For 3 days, the weekend, whatever.While we certainly need the money I can't...

maresie · maresie

One of the chronic unremitting pressures I have at the moment is debt. Right now I owe everyone, the landlord, the credit cards, the phone company, the bills. I have worked myself into the ground over the past year (last week I worked 60 plus hours) and got very little headway with any of the debts. I am...

mslouise · mslouise

I had a great f2f meeting last night! It was empowering! We got to laughing so hard we were almost in tears. The longer members shared so many stories of strengh and hope from their time in Al-Anon, it was wonderful! It's meetings like this that can give you the strength you need to make your lif...

buick23 · buick23

It becomes clearer to me everyday how selfish my abfsober really is. It's all about him. If he doesn't get his way he trows a fit like a little child. I am just getting over a cold, stayed home yesterday because of it. He walked into the house and the first thing he did was complain he had nowhere to sit (beca...

momof3 · momof3

I am new to this site, but have found comfort in viewing all of the posts. I am the mother of three children and the wife of an alcoholic. Five weeks ago I asked my husband to leave after he had taken most of my pain medication after a recent surgery. I know he is drinking also. He was in rehab last summer for...

codependent_who_knew · codependent_who_knew

Hi everyone...... So, I am coming back here as my AH is now out of rehab and in his sober living home, checked in yesterday I guess....still hasnt been home to see the kids and asked ME to pack all of his things......hardest thing I have EVER done..... As I mentioned before, he decided after he went into tr...

maresie · maresie

I am coming up to the one year mark of finally giving up on the A. Through separation, through trying to get him back on his feet, through numerous, countless crises, I eventually got to the point one year ago where I gave up and focused on me. I had to be here years to have the strength to do it. I have to say...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Who's fault is it anyway?? (Preview) Part of my anger problem with alcoholism, is the question of fault. It's the A's choice to drink but not their fault. The consequences of their actions is felt by everyone around them, but it's not their fault. If they get in the car drunk and kill someone, the fault lies on them in the eyes of the cour...	olg1213	12	668	Aug 28, 2008 by liljeannie
	how to detach from unkept commitments (Preview) I'm new to AlAnon, and I'm learning every day about how ALL the relationships in my family are screwed up. My 15 year old daughter has a pattern of making specific commitments to me and then not keeping them. So I've checked up on her... nagged her... managed her life for her. For a tiny example, she's ta...	Jen57	3	578	Aug 28, 2008 by maresie
	somebody stop me!!!!!!!!! (Preview) I am sitting at my desk seething. My manager is someone that was a friend of mine before I started working here. She is my sister's best friend. I have been here for going on 12 years and most of the time it is great. I love my job but am getting fed up with the way she runs the office. Over the years the power has...	Gailey	11	712	Aug 28, 2008 by lilms
	NEW HERE AND NEED ADVICE FROM RECOVERING PEOPLE (Preview) Need advice, so I thank you in advance. Have a family member (brother in law) who is an alcoholic. Actually several of them are. My husband is a Sober man- does not drink and helpless in this matter. His mother recently died & the brother of my husband is now homeless (actually in the next few day...	MommaMia14	7	1075	Aug 28, 2008 by RLC
	For all you beautiful ladies here at MIP Alanon (Preview) http://www.shydogsdesigns.com/temp/TearsofaWoman.pps	Tenderheartsks	1	613	Aug 27, 2008 by J.R.
	Why is it that...... (Preview) the A can schedule a meeting, interview; yet, never make a commitment for us to do anything? It always has to be on the spur of the moment. I don't mind being spontaneous once in a while, but I can't live my life that way when I have a child to consider. Everything seems to be on his terms. He can go out to bars,...	kissers	6	564	Aug 27, 2008 by maresie
	UGH (Preview) Well, it had been over 2 weeks since I spoke with my ex who is currently sitting in rehab out in California. Today my 'moment of anger' subsided and I decided to call his room knowing that the chances of him answering the phone were slim. They are hardly ever in their room but once in a while one of his 'roo...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	8	727	Aug 27, 2008 by lin0606
	connecting the past with the present (Preview) My sweet younger sister has a saying about our family which is, "remember when we were all so happy, back in 1994". It's kinda funny, but oh so true. That was the time when we (brothers and sisters) were all just out of college, getting married, first real jobs, having little kids. Yeah, they...	Loupiness	6	636	Aug 27, 2008 by maresie
	Sooo angry!! (Preview) After a really awesome weekend with my boyfriend and children this morning I have caught myself thinking about my ex A B/F who still sits in rehab. I havent spoken with him in over 2 weeks, but I cant help but have such anger towards him today. How could someone that has lost so much due to an alcohol/dr...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	10	709	Aug 27, 2008 by HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
	August (Preview) This month I have not seen my parents at all. I called them when my baby took his first steps. They called me on my birthday. My father suggested that I record the baby walking and put the video on the net so they can see him. They could come here to see him. I live about an hour away from them. I did go to see them...	StargazerLily	3	517	Aug 26, 2008 by lin0606
	Hey ya'll I am Big Tex (Preview) day one of my journey. When is enough enough? I am at the point in my marriage where I really feel that she would rather be drunk than be with me. And that is ok...what gets me is my eight yr old daughter. It kills me to think of her going through the family break up thing...but it also kills me to see her witne...	BigTex93	9	762	Aug 26, 2008 by debilyn
	Saying "no thanks" to A's entering my life! (Preview) I spent the last two weeks at my sister's and she had a great house guest (along with me) and he and I really hit it off. He was my brother-in-law's best friend. Anyway, we ended up spending quite a bit of time together. He is an A. I was able to have a lot of fun with him without drinking with him and avoiding hi...	Jean4444	9	759	Aug 26, 2008 by ddub
	A Life on Autopilot (Preview) ((((Family)))) In my ftf meeting last night the topic was Mistakes. I read a page out of Courage to Change (pg 60) that I found very interesting. For those of you that don't have the book (you should get it!) it begins by talking about how an automatic pilot on an airplane keeps a plane on its course. It doe...	david62	8	757	Aug 26, 2008 by Jean4444
	Thanks to alanon I think I can do this (please roomies I need you to read this) (Preview) Ya all know I have been struggling with employment issues.. Well I think I have a line on something, although I might need some help from all of you! Please copy and paste the addy below, all the info you need is there! Thanks in advance, Greta http://www.thelopezfamilyonline.com/play.php?first=a...	greta	5	680	Aug 26, 2008 by liljeannie
	How to keep the focus on ME? (Preview) In the beginning of al-anon I really needed to figure out some very specific ways to keep the focus on ME. These could also be looked at as INVESTMENTS in ME. I think it would be really helpful for me, right now, to review this and if there are others out there who can add to the list- GREAT! 1.) Education....	Jean4444	6	667	Aug 26, 2008 by queenie105
	You would not believe the day that I had! (Preview) Guess what? My books/software for college were never shipped out. The order wasn't even processed. I called the book store this morning, talked to the manager, and the lady who was supposed to be processing my order went home sick earlier this morning, and the manager couldn't even find the paperwor...	Tenderheartsks	8	661	Aug 26, 2008 by nmike
	Courage Has Changed me........ (Preview) ((((((Guys))))))))) You all know i am no longer in Al-anon as a group or online, i do however still practice the principles in my everyday life. For over two years i ate, drank and slept Al-anon. I then saw fit to try living my life on my own and gaining some independence. After six months of no fellowship...	ally	2	525	Aug 26, 2008 by kissers
	New (Preview) Hi, I am new here. I have been with my AH for a year and a half. Previously, for twenty years, I was married to an abusive individual. I had to work my escape extremely carefully due to the ex-h's position in the community. Once I got away, I never looked back. I went to therapy, reworked my life and was...	OverTheEdge	8	584	Aug 26, 2008 by maresie
	OK Interview (Preview) I had my interview Friday. It was good. A few questions I just couldn't answer well. I am so glad I applied and went thru the process. It gave me confidence in myself and know that I will be ok whether I get the job or not. I went into the interview with all of your esh and my higher power. It doesn't get any bett...	nmike	3	700	Aug 26, 2008 by CJ
	I really don't understand... (Preview) My friend called me and asked me if I wanted to come over for lunch. I thought it was unusual for her to make me lunch. I went over her house and we had lunch. The next thing I knew she had asked me to watch her little daughter while she made a call to a customer (she works from home). I was playing with her daught...	kissers	5	641	Aug 26, 2008 by kissers
	Fell off the wagon-Beware post about my own addiction. (Preview) So the A called me Thursday night to see what I was doing this weekend. We ended up going out Friday night and both "used." Now I feel worthless and guilty and lonely and miss him all over again. It breaks my heart that I cannot seem to be able to be around him and not use with him. It breaks my h...	Codependent	11	651	Aug 26, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Dealing with people pleasing (Preview) Today I resigned from the community council. I have had a lot of hostility from same and rather than let things escalate I sent my message of resignation. I was asked to reconsider and give it more time. I have decided not to as I found it a difficult decision to make but feel it was the right one for me to mak...	maire rua	4	514	Aug 26, 2008 by kissers
	..........I am sure he is fine and dandy!!!!! (Preview) Its his disease, NOT MINE! His abuse of drugs and alchol has damaged his body. My dreams of having a child with the man I love are shot. His sperm count is too low. At my annual pap exam, my doc tells me that after 40 MY fertility is cut in half. I am 36 now. And tells me that my A needs serious test done sinc...	Sincerely	8	1002	Aug 26, 2008 by olg1213
	GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS (Preview) HI IVE BEEN AWAY AWHILE the bad news is my ah got pancreantitis, the good news is my ah got pancreantitis. guess from what.? he has stopped drinkig cold turkey 3 weeks . hopefully this is his rock bottm. the dr said if he drinks he will die. he got sick the night after i was ready to go to a lawyer and stop the...	SOSAD	8	668	Aug 26, 2008 by olg1213
	FIXER (Preview) i HAVE TOLD MY AB THST i NEED SPACE TO DEAL WITH MY EMTIONS. tHIS IS A BOUNDARY i HAVE SET TO PROTECT ME. hE IS PROMISING THE WORLD EVERYTHINGS GOING TO BE O.K, HES GOING TO GET AJOB, A FLAT BASICALLY GROW UP HE WANTS TO BE WITH ME. i SAID HAVE A BREAK FOR 3 MONTHS AND ACTIONS WILL SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS. hE...	Tracy	2	579	Aug 25, 2008 by maresie
	Update on my Exciting NOT adventures (long) (Preview) ((((((MIP Family)))) Haven't been around much in the last few months but sure have missed you all. Debilyin, you asked for an update of my adventures. I was laughing so hard trying to think of some. We have basically just been living life at my end of the world. Trying very hard not to focus on the A. So...	lilms	2	500	Aug 25, 2008 by maresie
	Wow, what a way to be woken up! (Preview) Frustrated this morning, got a text from my AH and as he is in the sober living home a week now, hasnt seen the kids, its almost a month now and my poor 6 yr old and 3 yr old are sick with not understanding...... I just keep telling them Daddy is away and God is making him feel better inside, he loves you and miss...	codependent_who_knew	4	557	Aug 25, 2008 by maresie
	accepting what I cannot change (Preview) That phrase of accepting what I cannot change always has troubled me. My entire life, and I am now an old 66, I plunged right in and changed things I wanted changed (for the most part). I was independent and strong, positive, and successful in most everything I ever did. I had a pretty wonderful family l...	joyoma	3	512	Aug 25, 2008 by maresie
	What do you do with the anger? (Preview) I have read some of the threads and have gone to a few meetings and I know that I am still new, but noone talks about the anger. My husband is an active A, the longest he has gone without drinking is about thirty days after he smashed our new car, while drunk. He can be verbally abusive,and now the verbal a...	olg1213	14	898	Aug 25, 2008 by maresie
	eggshells and landmines (Preview) After reading and replying to some posts on dry drunks, I realized that I am in need of some esh myself. My abf has been sober for, well, I really dont know how long now, basically cuz I am no longer keeping tabs on his behavior. Things around here keep getting weirder and weirder. I feel like I am living wi...	liljeannie	8	740	Aug 25, 2008 by maresie
	Revving the engine...fueled by anger and clarity (Preview) After a particularly stressful week, I have been taking some time to take stock in what is going on in my life and around my home. Im not happy wth it. I know it is up to me to change it, and I am trying sooo hard to do it. I feel like my hands are tied right now and that makes me angry. I almost feel like I am bac...	liljeannie	6	593	Aug 25, 2008 by maresie
	Some of the thoughts that have been whirling around my head of late... (Preview) DO I consider: My cup to be half full, or half empty? My successes or my failures most of all? That my life has been well spent, or misused? That I am the sum of all my past experiences and therefore cannot improve, or do I consider myself capable of learning from my past in order to better my future? That lif...	Suzannah	4	554	Aug 25, 2008 by maresie
	Dating discomfort (Preview) Hey all, I have found two problems with my dating discomforts... First is answering questions about what happened to my last relationship... I find myself not wanting to explain anymore why he doesn't see the kids (he's in jail) or why we split up (he's a heroin addict). On one date in particular they...	carolinagirl	11	740	Aug 25, 2008 by maresie
	always falling short (Preview) I'm just continually running and not meeting the needs of anyone, particularly myself. I even feel behind in this program. Reading my literature is a speed reading adventure. Can't get all the posts read, let alone get it together to respond. Here I am posting at 4:30 a.m. Took an act of God to get to a...	Loupiness	8	766	Aug 25, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	I need help! (Preview) I just found out 2 weeks ago that my husband has been using cocanie for 2 years and he has also become and alcoholic. He has spent ever last dime of our money too.He went to the hospital four months ago and his family told me it was a stroke that he had and I believed them and it turned out that it was an over dose...	dianab	7	825	Aug 25, 2008 by dianab
	Trust & Your Group and Sponsor (Preview) Hello I am new to this forum, but I have been in Al Anon for a year now. I have a trust issue with my group and sponsor. I live in a small area where everyone knows everyone else. My husband is the alcoholic and he has stop going to AA and I think it is because of the same issue but he will not admit it. The prob...	Bothered	5	690	Aug 25, 2008 by Bothered
	Woke up this morning at 2 am... (Preview) To a drunk, stumbling 20 year old AD in the kitchen looking for something to eat. She kept her back turned and I went to the bathroom, and crawled back into bed with my heart hurting. When I got up later this morning, I had this profound sense of loneliness, realizing once again that my family of origin has...	Tenderheartsks	5	595	Aug 25, 2008 by ddub
	Living with the 'ism' (Preview) Wow, it's amazing, the progression of this disease. My 20 year old AD is a binge drinker, just like I was. She stays away from the house when she's drinking as she knows better. I realized tonight, watching her getting all primped up for a birthday 'party' at a friends' house, not lifting a finger around...	Tenderheartsks	1	732	Aug 24, 2008 by Jen
	New Here HI (Preview) Hello everyone, I'm looking forward to the support and insight I can learn here from all of you. Let me start my giving you some insight on my situation. I've been married to my AH for 15 years and been with him for 20 and we have three children. I should have known just from dating I'd be in the situation I am...	mimidtw	4	582	Aug 24, 2008 by kitty
	Help me out with some feed back? (Preview) Well I did it! I gave my notice at my job. I am kind of getting into the should/shouldn't mode here but I have to go forward with what is done. I just want to run my reasoning by you my roomies and see what you think. Monday the 1st is labor day and it is a time and a half pay day for here. I guess they decided si...	greta	4	674	Aug 24, 2008 by Phebe
	I'm OK (Preview) I feel pretty good today! I am still moving. It is stressful but things are moving along. I know that I am doing the right thing by moving back in with my AH. He has 22 mos. of sobriety now. I will definitely keep you all posted as the moving is over & done. I expect to be completely out of my apartmen...	Hoot Nanny	1	586	Aug 23, 2008 by Leetle
	when others don't get "it" (Preview) Somethiing else that is bugging me.... I was talking to my AH's sister and mentioned how I could no longer attend a meeting because my AH's schedule changed. She then commented, "don't you want to get your own identity?" When I questioned what she meant, she said something about " n...	Loupiness	9	698	Aug 23, 2008 by Leetle
	Working and want an education? Read up! (Preview) Hello Friends, I know there are many on this board who feel stuck in thier lives and desire to move forward toward independence. Well, I was watching the news this morning and saw a segment that compelled me to run here and post to you all. There are 2 million dollars worth of full ride scholarships ava...	Loupiness	4	388	Aug 23, 2008 by Jean4444
	Dry Drunk (Preview) My husband of 10 years decided recently he wanted a divorce and it was ok if I took our kids to Kansas City to live.He apparently no longer wants to be a husband and a father.He moved into a tiny apartment,left me with the kids,bills, and pets.He has taken up with a woman he met a few days after we separated....	outoftheblue	4	802	Aug 23, 2008 by kitty
	What was he drinking? (Preview) Our son showed up at our church for an 11 am preschool meeting for his daughter. He had a clear liquid that he was drinking from a grape Gatorade bottle. He pretended that it was water but his attitude and the odor told me differently. No, I didn't confront him. I was just very embarressed but never said a...	pagenie	6	608	Aug 23, 2008 by Mobirdie
	a day full of mixed emotions (Preview) (((Friends))), What a day! Today I received my diploma. It is so pretty in a leatherbound frame. It's my Associates in Science for Business Administration. I can't believe I did it. It actually has MY name on it! My mind was wandering at work today and I was thinking how I wish my Mom were here for me...	Maria123	15	809	Aug 23, 2008 by carosie
	feeling (Preview) ..a bit off..can't sleep tonight..hit up four meetings today..guess i needed them out on the weekend..as they see seeing things a bit more clearly but still struggling..as always the glass is more then half full these days..hope is slowly seeping in..as is change..but some of the remnants of the ol...	charlescharles	1	434	Aug 22, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Doing the happy dance right now! (Preview) And my dogs think I'm nuts! Just spoke to my VR worker on the phone, and my books/software go out UPS today! WOHOOOOOO!!!!!!	Tenderheartsks	4	411	Aug 22, 2008 by Loupiness
	Need some advice Im new here!!!!!!! (Preview) About two months ago my girlfriend of four and a half years ago broke up with me!!! We have a two and a half year old son together! Who I love so much!! Over the course of our relationship she had always told me that I was her soul mate. She cheated on me twice over the course of our four years together and after...	palmersno30	5	712	Aug 22, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Are we egoist??? (Preview) This is one thing I always asked myself over the years. Many people told me I was such as when I asked the separation from my AH or when I was younger, when I refused to take care of my A step father who was sick (as example) Can we be considered egoist because we are thinking to take care of ourselves??? Sorry...	gaelle	9	821	Aug 22, 2008 by gaelle
	I'm feeling depressed (Preview) I've been trying so hard to find a better job... trying to sell the house... decided to speak up to my divorce attorney by filing a grievance against him to let him know he's billed me unfairly... so many things... I've never had to do on my own. My sponsor, who can't talk much this week b/c of a business c...	glad lee	3	652	Aug 21, 2008 by Christy
	Depending on myself (Preview) Today I tackled the college text book problem. Because the campus is 40 miles away, and all my faxed and emails to the book store last week went unanswered, I did drive the Nissan as all my program friends work during the day. When I got home, I handed the keys back over to AD and walked off. I started off wit...	Tenderheartsks	5	550	Aug 21, 2008 by Jen
	I blew today and now I feel like falling apart. (Preview) My plate overfloweth and then some. The 20 year old AD poked and poked at me and I finally blew. I am in a bad spot right now. I finally have my disability hearing the 16th of next month. It's a long drawn out process. I do get some help from Social Services, but if it wasn't for my dad, I'd be homeless. That 'he...	Tenderheartsks	9	672	Aug 21, 2008 by Jean4444
	how many times to say goodbye? (Preview) My AH has to turn himself in for 6 months jail term for his 3rd dui. He has been turning himself in every week, then finds reasons not to go. Each time he decides to go, he gets a call for a short time job(union worker)and he takes it. For 3 days, the weekend, whatever.While we certainly need the money I can't...	suzip	2	661	Aug 21, 2008 by abbyal
	putting the pressure on myself (Preview) One of the chronic unremitting pressures I have at the moment is debt. Right now I owe everyone, the landlord, the credit cards, the phone company, the bills. I have worked myself into the ground over the past year (last week I worked 60 plus hours) and got very little headway with any of the debts. I am...	maresie	3	512	Aug 21, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	What does Al-Anon do for you? (Preview) I had a great f2f meeting last night! It was empowering! We got to laughing so hard we were almost in tears. The longer members shared so many stories of strengh and hope from their time in Al-Anon, it was wonderful! It's meetings like this that can give you the strength you need to make your lif...	mslouise	8	1045	Aug 21, 2008 by Peggy7
	selfish behaviour (Preview) It becomes clearer to me everyday how selfish my abfsober really is. It's all about him. If he doesn't get his way he trows a fit like a little child. I am just getting over a cold, stayed home yesterday because of it. He walked into the house and the first thing he did was complain he had nowhere to sit (beca...	buick23	6	646	Aug 21, 2008 by liljeannie
	New to site.......need advice (Preview) I am new to this site, but have found comfort in viewing all of the posts. I am the mother of three children and the wife of an alcoholic. Five weeks ago I asked my husband to leave after he had taken most of my pain medication after a recent surgery. I know he is drinking also. He was in rehab last summer for...	momof3	7	700	Aug 21, 2008 by momof3
	Not getting any easier........ (Preview) Hi everyone...... So, I am coming back here as my AH is now out of rehab and in his sober living home, checked in yesterday I guess....still hasnt been home to see the kids and asked ME to pack all of his things......hardest thing I have EVER done..... As I mentioned before, he decided after he went into tr...	codependent_who_knew	8	739	Aug 21, 2008 by Jen
	Exhaustion one year later (Preview) I am coming up to the one year mark of finally giving up on the A. Through separation, through trying to get him back on his feet, through numerous, countless crises, I eventually got to the point one year ago where I gave up and focused on me. I had to be here years to have the strength to do it. I have to say...	maresie	6	650	Aug 21, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.