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Meeting one of the Voices in my Head
(Preview)
((((Family))))) Just rolled back into town from a weekend AA/Alanon conference. I am so pumped up again.....I really, really needed booster shot of program! And I met someone very, very special to me. When I first came into the program 4 years ago, I went to a conference in Houston, Texas..called t...
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david62
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11
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740
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Reaching Out...
(Preview)
I have a lot going on right now and I am trying to keep my program close to me. I am disappointed with a few things in my life right now and feel a bit unsettled about it. I am trying to avoid my normal tendency of getting anxious. I hate the physical side...I get this uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my s...
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Leetle
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8
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667
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hit the nail on the head
(Preview)
I heard these words in a meeting. "The love I give is equal to the love I expect" Truer words were never spoken. I pull away from emotional intimacy with those who are closest to me. Because, I am ashamed of who I've been in the past. I'm ashamed of my continued self imposed islation from life be...
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seekingserenity
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5
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499
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My 40th birthday was yesterday and my dog passed away...
(Preview)
Where do I begin? Yesterday was Tuesday, she seemed fine on Sunday, maybe a little tired from being at the kennel which is normal for her. But Monday she was still lathargic and not wanting to go outside, drinking water but not eating. By the evening she was more lathargic and was having seizures that wo...
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wildthang86
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13
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793
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Guilt trips and Let downs
(Preview)
So the other night my mom called and said she was too tired to watch my son for my meeting. She then kept asking me if I would take him with me, as it would be too late, etc. Tries to guilt trip me. I did not answer her and did not answer the phone after that. I did take my son to the meeting as I needed a meet...
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mslouise
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3
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658
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Sometimes being the scapegoat stings...
(Preview)
Many years ago, my oldest AD went into an adolescent treatment unit due to chronic rage issues and other behavior that had escalated. She had just graduated 8th grade. We had family nights and family sessions, and at one point, I asked my parents if they would like to come for a family counseling sessio...
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Tenderheartsks
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3
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1781
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Who's fault is it anyway??
(Preview)
Part of my anger problem with alcoholism, is the question of fault. It's the A's choice to drink but not their fault. The consequences of their actions is felt by everyone around them, but it's not their fault. If they get in the car drunk and kill someone, the fault lies on them in the eyes of the cour...
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olg1213
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12
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694
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how to detach from unkept commitments
(Preview)
I'm new to AlAnon, and I'm learning every day about how ALL the relationships in my family are screwed up. My 15 year old daughter has a pattern of making specific commitments to me and then not keeping them. So I've checked up on her... nagged her... managed her life for her. For a tiny example, she's ta...
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Jen57
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3
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594
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somebody stop me!!!!!!!!!
(Preview)
I am sitting at my desk seething. My manager is someone that was a friend of mine before I started working here. She is my sister's best friend. I have been here for going on 12 years and most of the time it is great. I love my job but am getting fed up with the way she runs the office. Over the years the power has...
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Gailey
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11
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721
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NEW HERE AND NEED ADVICE FROM RECOVERING PEOPLE
(Preview)
Need advice, so I thank you in advance. Have a family member (brother in law) who is an alcoholic. Actually several of them are. My husband is a Sober man- does not drink and helpless in this matter. His mother recently died & the brother of my husband is now homeless (actually in the next few day...
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MommaMia14
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7
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1084
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For all you beautiful ladies here at MIP Alanon
(Preview)
http://www.shydogsdesigns.com/temp/TearsofaWoman.pps
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Tenderheartsks
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1
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621
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Why is it that......
(Preview)
the A can schedule a meeting, interview; yet, never make a commitment for us to do anything? It always has to be on the spur of the moment. I don't mind being spontaneous once in a while, but I can't live my life that way when I have a child to consider. Everything seems to be on his terms. He can go out to bars,...
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kissers
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6
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569
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UGH
(Preview)
Well, it had been over 2 weeks since I spoke with my ex who is currently sitting in rehab out in California. Today my 'moment of anger' subsided and I decided to call his room knowing that the chances of him answering the phone were slim. They are hardly ever in their room but once in a while one of his 'roo...
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HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
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8
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747
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connecting the past with the present
(Preview)
My sweet younger sister has a saying about our family which is, "remember when we were all so happy, back in 1994". It's kinda funny, but oh so true. That was the time when we (brothers and sisters) were all just out of college, getting married, first real jobs, having little kids. Yeah, they...
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Loupiness
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6
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650
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Sooo angry!!
(Preview)
After a really awesome weekend with my boyfriend and children this morning I have caught myself thinking about my ex A B/F who still sits in rehab. I havent spoken with him in over 2 weeks, but I cant help but have such anger towards him today. How could someone that has lost so much due to an alcohol/dr...
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HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
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10
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719
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August
(Preview)
This month I have not seen my parents at all. I called them when my baby took his first steps. They called me on my birthday. My father suggested that I record the baby walking and put the video on the net so they can see him. They could come here to see him. I live about an hour away from them. I did go to see them...
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StargazerLily
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3
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525
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Hey ya'll I am Big Tex
(Preview)
day one of my journey. When is enough enough? I am at the point in my marriage where I really feel that she would rather be drunk than be with me. And that is ok...what gets me is my eight yr old daughter. It kills me to think of her going through the family break up thing...but it also kills me to see her witne...
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BigTex93
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9
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772
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Saying "no thanks" to A's entering my life!
(Preview)
I spent the last two weeks at my sister's and she had a great house guest (along with me) and he and I really hit it off. He was my brother-in-law's best friend. Anyway, we ended up spending quite a bit of time together. He is an A. I was able to have a lot of fun with him without drinking with him and avoiding hi...
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Jean4444
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9
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766
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A Life on Autopilot
(Preview)
((((Family)))) In my ftf meeting last night the topic was Mistakes. I read a page out of Courage to Change (pg 60) that I found very interesting. For those of you that don't have the book (you should get it!) it begins by talking about how an automatic pilot on an airplane keeps a plane on its course. It doe...
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david62
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8
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766
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Thanks to alanon I think I can do this (please roomies I need you to read this)
(Preview)
Ya all know I have been struggling with employment issues.. Well I think I have a line on something, although I might need some help from all of you! Please copy and paste the addy below, all the info you need is there! Thanks in advance, Greta http://www.thelopezfamilyonline.com/play.php?first=a...
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greta
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5
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688
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How to keep the focus on ME?
(Preview)
In the beginning of al-anon I really needed to figure out some very specific ways to keep the focus on ME. These could also be looked at as INVESTMENTS in ME. I think it would be really helpful for me, right now, to review this and if there are others out there who can add to the list- GREAT!
1.) Education....
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Jean4444
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6
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677
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You would not believe the day that I had!
(Preview)
Guess what? My books/software for college were never shipped out. The order wasn't even processed. I called the book store this morning, talked to the manager, and the lady who was supposed to be processing my order went home sick earlier this morning, and the manager couldn't even find the paperwor...
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Tenderheartsks
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8
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670
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Courage Has Changed me........
(Preview)
((((((Guys))))))))) You all know i am no longer in Al-anon as a group or online, i do however still practice the principles in my everyday life. For over two years i ate, drank and slept Al-anon. I then saw fit to try living my life on my own and gaining some independence. After six months of no fellowship...
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ally
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2
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533
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New
(Preview)
Hi, I am new here. I have been with my AH for a year and a half. Previously, for twenty years, I was married to an abusive individual. I had to work my escape extremely carefully due to the ex-h's position in the community. Once I got away, I never looked back. I went to therapy, reworked my life and was...
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OverTheEdge
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8
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589
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OK Interview
(Preview)
I had my interview Friday. It was good. A few questions I just couldn't answer well. I am so glad I applied and went thru the process. It gave me confidence in myself and know that I will be ok whether I get the job or not. I went into the interview with all of your esh and my higher power. It doesn't get any bett...
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nmike
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3
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705
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I really don't understand...
(Preview)
My friend called me and asked me if I wanted to come over for lunch. I thought it was unusual for her to make me lunch. I went over her house and we had lunch. The next thing I knew she had asked me to watch her little daughter while she made a call to a customer (she works from home). I was playing with her daught...
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kissers
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5
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645
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Fell off the wagon-Beware post about my own addiction.
(Preview)
So the A called me Thursday night to see what I was doing this weekend. We ended up going out Friday night and both "used." Now I feel worthless and guilty and lonely and miss him all over again. It breaks my heart that I cannot seem to be able to be around him and not use with him. It breaks my h...
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Codependent
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11
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661
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Dealing with people pleasing
(Preview)
Today I resigned from the community council. I have had a lot of hostility from same and rather than let things escalate I sent my message of resignation. I was asked to reconsider and give it more time. I have decided not to as I found it a difficult decision to make but feel it was the right one for me to mak...
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maire rua
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4
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522
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..........I am sure he is fine and dandy!!!!!
(Preview)
Its his disease, NOT MINE! His abuse of drugs and alchol has damaged his body. My dreams of having a child with the man I love are shot. His sperm count is too low. At my annual pap exam, my doc tells me that after 40 MY fertility is cut in half. I am 36 now. And tells me that my A needs serious test done sinc...
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Sincerely
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8
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1006
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GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS
(Preview)
HI IVE BEEN AWAY AWHILE the bad news is my ah got pancreantitis, the good news is my ah got pancreantitis. guess from what.? he has stopped drinkig cold turkey 3 weeks . hopefully this is his rock bottm. the dr said if he drinks he will die. he got sick the night after i was ready to go to a lawyer and stop the...
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SOSAD
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8
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683
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FIXER
(Preview)
i HAVE TOLD MY AB THST i NEED SPACE TO DEAL WITH MY EMTIONS. tHIS IS A BOUNDARY i HAVE SET TO PROTECT ME. hE IS PROMISING THE WORLD EVERYTHINGS GOING TO BE O.K, HES GOING TO GET AJOB, A FLAT BASICALLY GROW UP HE WANTS TO BE WITH ME. i SAID HAVE A BREAK FOR 3 MONTHS AND ACTIONS WILL SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS. hE...
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Tracy
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2
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586
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Update on my Exciting NOT adventures (long)
(Preview)
((((((MIP Family)))) Haven't been around much in the last few months but sure have missed you all. Debilyin, you asked for an update of my adventures. I was laughing so hard trying to think of some. We have basically just been living life at my end of the world. Trying very hard not to focus on the A. So...
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lilms
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2
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507
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Wow, what a way to be woken up!
(Preview)
Frustrated this morning, got a text from my AH and as he is in the sober living home a week now, hasnt seen the kids, its almost a month now and my poor 6 yr old and 3 yr old are sick with not understanding...... I just keep telling them Daddy is away and God is making him feel better inside, he loves you and miss...
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codependent_who_knew
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4
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563
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accepting what I cannot change
(Preview)
That phrase of accepting what I cannot change always has troubled me. My entire life, and I am now an old 66, I plunged right in and changed things I wanted changed (for the most part). I was independent and strong, positive, and successful in most everything I ever did. I had a pretty wonderful family l...
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joyoma
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3
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516
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What do you do with the anger?
(Preview)
I have read some of the threads and have gone to a few meetings and I know that I am still new, but noone talks about the anger. My husband is an active A, the longest he has gone without drinking is about thirty days after he smashed our new car, while drunk. He can be verbally abusive,and now the verbal a...
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olg1213
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14
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907
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eggshells and landmines
(Preview)
After reading and replying to some posts on dry drunks, I realized that I am in need of some esh myself. My abf has been sober for, well, I really dont know how long now, basically cuz I am no longer keeping tabs on his behavior. Things around here keep getting weirder and weirder. I feel like I am living wi...
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liljeannie
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8
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745
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Revving the engine...fueled by anger and clarity
(Preview)
After a particularly stressful week, I have been taking some time to take stock in what is going on in my life and around my home. Im not happy wth it. I know it is up to me to change it, and I am trying sooo hard to do it. I feel like my hands are tied right now and that makes me angry. I almost feel like I am bac...
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liljeannie
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6
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600
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Some of the thoughts that have been whirling around my head of late...
(Preview)
DO I consider: My cup to be half full, or half empty? My successes or my failures most of all? That my life has been well spent, or misused? That I am the sum of all my past experiences and therefore cannot improve, or do I consider myself capable of learning from my past in order to better my future? That lif...
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Suzannah
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4
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560
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Dating discomfort
(Preview)
Hey all, I have found two problems with my dating discomforts... First is answering questions about what happened to my last relationship... I find myself not wanting to explain anymore why he doesn't see the kids (he's in jail) or why we split up (he's a heroin addict). On one date in particular they...
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carolinagirl
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11
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744
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always falling short
(Preview)
I'm just continually running and not meeting the needs of anyone, particularly myself. I even feel behind in this program. Reading my literature is a speed reading adventure. Can't get all the posts read, let alone get it together to respond. Here I am posting at 4:30 a.m. Took an act of God to get to a...
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Loupiness
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8
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770
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I need help!
(Preview)
I just found out 2 weeks ago that my husband has been using cocanie for 2 years and he has also become and alcoholic. He has spent ever last dime of our money too.He went to the hospital four months ago and his family told me it was a stroke that he had and I believed them and it turned out that it was an over dose...
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dianab
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7
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830
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Trust & Your Group and Sponsor
(Preview)
Hello I am new to this forum, but I have been in Al Anon for a year now. I have a trust issue with my group and sponsor. I live in a small area where everyone knows everyone else. My husband is the alcoholic and he has stop going to AA and I think it is because of the same issue but he will not admit it. The prob...
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Bothered
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5
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695
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Woke up this morning at 2 am...
(Preview)
To a drunk, stumbling 20 year old AD in the kitchen looking for something to eat. She kept her back turned and I went to the bathroom, and crawled back into bed with my heart hurting. When I got up later this morning, I had this profound sense of loneliness, realizing once again that my family of origin has...
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Tenderheartsks
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5
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600
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Living with the 'ism'
(Preview)
Wow, it's amazing, the progression of this disease. My 20 year old AD is a binge drinker, just like I was. She stays away from the house when she's drinking as she knows better. I realized tonight, watching her getting all primped up for a birthday 'party' at a friends' house, not lifting a finger around...
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Tenderheartsks
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1
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737
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New Here *HI*
(Preview)
Hello everyone, I'm looking forward to the support and insight I can learn here from all of you. Let me start my giving you some insight on my situation. I've been married to my AH for 15 years and been with him for 20 and we have three children. I should have known just from dating I'd be in the situation I am...
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mimidtw
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4
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586
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Help me out with some feed back?
(Preview)
Well I did it! I gave my notice at my job. I am kind of getting into the should/shouldn't mode here but I have to go forward with what is done. I just want to run my reasoning by you my roomies and see what you think. Monday the 1st is labor day and it is a time and a half pay day for here. I guess they decided si...
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greta
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4
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679
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I'm OK
(Preview)
I feel pretty good today! I am still moving. It is stressful but things are moving along. I know that I am doing the right thing by moving back in with my AH. He has 22 mos. of sobriety now. I will definitely keep you all posted as the moving is over & done. I expect to be completely out of my apartmen...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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591
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when others don't get "it"
(Preview)
Somethiing else that is bugging me.... I was talking to my AH's sister and mentioned how I could no longer attend a meeting because my AH's schedule changed. She then commented, "don't you want to get your own identity?" When I questioned what she meant, she said something about " n...
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Loupiness
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9
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702
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Working and want an education? Read up!
(Preview)
Hello Friends, I know there are many on this board who feel stuck in thier lives and desire to move forward toward independence. Well, I was watching the news this morning and saw a segment that compelled me to run here and post to you all. There are 2 million dollars worth of full ride scholarships ava...
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Loupiness
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4
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395
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Dry Drunk
(Preview)
My husband of 10 years decided recently he wanted a divorce and it was ok if I took our kids to Kansas City to live.He apparently no longer wants to be a husband and a father.He moved into a tiny apartment,left me with the kids,bills, and pets.He has taken up with a woman he met a few days after we separated....
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outoftheblue
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4
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806
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What was he drinking?
(Preview)
Our son showed up at our church for an 11 am preschool meeting for his daughter. He had a clear liquid that he was drinking from a grape Gatorade bottle. He pretended that it was water but his attitude and the odor told me differently. No, I didn't confront him. I was just very embarressed but never said a...
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pagenie
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6
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623
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a day full of mixed emotions
(Preview)
(((Friends))), What a day! Today I received my diploma. It is so pretty in a leatherbound frame. It's my Associates in Science for Business Administration. I can't believe I did it. It actually has MY name on it! My mind was wandering at work today and I was thinking how I wish my Mom were here for me...
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Maria123
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15
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813
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feeling
(Preview)
..a bit off..can't sleep tonight..hit up four meetings today..guess i needed them out on the weekend..as they see seeing things a bit more clearly but still struggling..as always the glass is more then half full these days..hope is slowly seeping in..as is change..but some of the remnants of the ol...
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charlescharles
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1
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444
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Doing the happy dance right now!
(Preview)
And my dogs think I'm nuts! Just spoke to my VR worker on the phone, and my books/software go out UPS today! WOHOOOOOO!!!!!!
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Tenderheartsks
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4
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415
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Need some advice Im new here!!!!!!!
(Preview)
About two months ago my girlfriend of four and a half years ago broke up with me!!! We have a two and a half year old son together! Who I love so much!! Over the course of our relationship she had always told me that I was her soul mate. She cheated on me twice over the course of our four years together and after...
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palmersno30
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5
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718
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Are we egoist???
(Preview)
This is one thing I always asked myself over the years. Many people told me I was such as when I asked the separation from my AH or when I was younger, when I refused to take care of my A step father who was sick (as example) Can we be considered egoist because we are thinking to take care of ourselves??? Sorry...
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gaelle
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9
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826
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I'm feeling depressed
(Preview)
I've been trying so hard to find a better job... trying to sell the house... decided to speak up to my divorce attorney by filing a grievance against him to let him know he's billed me unfairly... so many things... I've never had to do on my own.
My sponsor, who can't talk much this week b/c of a business c...
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glad lee
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3
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656
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Depending on myself
(Preview)
Today I tackled the college text book problem. Because the campus is 40 miles away, and all my faxed and emails to the book store last week went unanswered, I did drive the Nissan as all my program friends work during the day. When I got home, I handed the keys back over to AD and walked off. I started off wit...
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Tenderheartsks
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5
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555
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I blew today and now I feel like falling apart.
(Preview)
My plate overfloweth and then some. The 20 year old AD poked and poked at me and I finally blew. I am in a bad spot right now. I finally have my disability hearing the 16th of next month. It's a long drawn out process. I do get some help from Social Services, but if it wasn't for my dad, I'd be homeless. That 'he...
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Tenderheartsks
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9
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676
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how many times to say goodbye?
(Preview)
My AH has to turn himself in for 6 months jail term for his 3rd dui. He has been turning himself in every week, then finds reasons not to go. Each time he decides to go, he gets a call for a short time job(union worker)and he takes it. For 3 days, the weekend, whatever.While we certainly need the money I can't...
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suzip
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2
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666
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