Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

abbyal · abbyal

I could not progress in my own recovery until I learned to focus on MY own recovery. If you want to be original -- be yourself. If we put everything in Gods hands -- Gods hands will be in everything. If you want serenity , put God between you and your problem . The only thing we can change about the past is our a...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

(Another old share from '06) I wandered into the chat room and was looking at the top of the screen where it says "topic" and was then thinking how people come in and ask "whats the topic?" which led me to thinking, gee wouldn't it be fun to have a "today's topic" every da...

hopegrace · hopegrace

Hallo all I havent visited the forum for almost two years. I previously used to attend alanon meetings regularly and i suddenly stoped when i felt better and able to cope with life. Around the same time i broke up with my recovering alcoholic. Just recently he became very interested in me again and want...

Codependent · Codependent

I know this is irrelevant really considering my circumstances, but the A told me he didn't understand why I couldn't be his friend just because he didn't want that kind of relationship with me at this particular time. Just thought I would throw that out as a topic for discussion.

ruejacobs · ruejacobs

ran across the youtube video i made of my son, Gnu, when i was checking up on my account's comments. it made me unbelievably sad just watching it. i miss him so much. -- Edited by ruejacobs at 17:13, 2008-12-16

buick23 · buick23

I am finally getting my focus back. I finished a few things that needed to be done and feel much better. For a major change in my life that is coming up, and I have been stressing about, today I am letting higher power deal with it. My mind seems clear today and hopefully I can accomplish the same tomorrow. I...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

After the past month I can't believe I can even right that I am doing ok with doing nothing and being still....It amazes me.......Now mind ya it's not for very long periods of time and I have to be driving my sponsor crazy at this point, but I can actually FEEL myself being ok. My need to knows still get t...

Codependent · Codependent

Why do I find it so hard to believe that my A's HP loves the A as much as I do? Why do I think I need to intercede on the A's behalf- afraid HP will want to punish the A or "let" him die? Do you think the A has to be receptive to HP in order for HP to work in his life?

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Am getting ready to take the 5th step and was just looking for some ESH from other members.....It seems like every step brings about more changes and clearer senses in me and I guess I am just wondering what to expect next...... thanks for letting me share......

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Destruction. Crashing realities exploding in imperfect landings. Ouch. It's my heart that's breaking, for these have been my fantasies and my world. --Mary Casey We frequently aren't given what we want - whether it's a particular job, a certain relationship, a special talent. But we are always gi...

Lyndie · Lyndie

I got a call from someone in my church and they asked for a list of 4 things each of my family wants for Christmas. I guess there is a company that works with my church that does this each year. (i hope its ok i'm posting this, but its for a reason)So there will be gifts for us, I am so grateful. It shows me that wh...

Trinia2 · Trinia2

My son (21) has been on a binge for four months which resulted in three incarcerations and 2 hospital stays. We have tried everything to get him help, but he has not hit his bottom. He goes back to court Thursday and may get jail time. Anyway, his friends bailed him out on Tuesday and I let him back in the hou...

barisax · barisax

I will try not to go into too much detail. But someone needs prayers right now, several someones that are very special to me. My daughter is facing some health problems that are still undiagnosed, she's functioning but going through odd symptoms and lots of tests. She's in the middle of changing jobs,...

maresie · maresie

I spent 7 years obsessing about the fact the A did not like to help me out when I was "down". Now I'm having to look at underneath that I was not yet ready to learn self preservation. These days I'm getting there, better boundaries, better outlook. I have a terrible head cold that came over m...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

(An old July 2006 share) Tradition 7: Every group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions. When I was new to Al-Anon I didn't pay much mind to the traditions. They seem kinda dry to me and not related to what I needed in trying to make my life manageable once again. Hahaha. Li...

peace2me · peace2me

Married for 14 years. When we met we were each coming out of a divorce. We were not young at that time, but were going through sort of a rebellious stage I guess ou could say. In other words, we were both partying. My habits were temporary - and I assumed his would be under the circumstances - but they we...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

(Forget where I saw this, but liked it!) THE RELAXED APPROACH Step One: RELAX I don't have to be in charge or in control anymore. It's going to be okay. Step Two: RELAX I can simply believe that someone stronger than I can restore me to health and wholeness. Step Three: RELAX I can easily turn my whole life...

soconfused · soconfused

Re: my previous post called acceptance...I have to say that I thought the response to me feeling GOOD about finally being able to say the things and needed to say to A w/out feeling so guilty and sad that it was a good thing? I didn't think I would be told to go to meetings because I'm angry and resentful? I r...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

Thoughts from a June 2006 share.... It is amazing when I look back at how much managing I tried to do of others (people, places, things), not realizing how crazy making this was for me. I remember listening to an older member adding under her breath these words (in parenthesis) to the serenity prayer: G...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

(Another oldie.... *smile*... and yes, I'm still learning!) Was reading another post elsewhere and got to thinking about what recovery means to me. What the purpose of my recovery is. Basically for me, it is to get my own life back. To feel good about me, about my family, how we live, how we interact, an...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello everyone, Just a note to check in and explain I will be spending alot of time at work, and in the hospital for a couple weeks. I wish I could be here instead I hope everyone is doing well, and enjoying the holiday preparation! Be back as soon as I can. Jen

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, :) We are so excited in my home. I have changed my avatar to show you all the new addition to the family. Her name is Mia and we expect her to join us in early January. :) Mandy -- Edited by Mandy123 at 13:04, 2008-12-15 hehe now I figured out how to attach a pic :) -- Edited by Mandy123 at 13:15, 2008-12-...

helpme14 · helpme14

hello.... this is my first post here. i need help. i am the daughter and wife of alcoholics. my husband was in aa when i met him and has never relapsed we have been together for 6 years and married for 4 months but everything has come crashing down. directly after the honeymoon he decided i was 'controllin...

JenM · JenM

I think I need one of those smilies that's half smile/half crying. Or maybe just The very first post I did here I talked about how afraid to go to face to face meetings because of some ugly things I percieved happened to me. For a while, there's been no pull, no guilt, no fear that I was missing out. Just ove...

Maria123 · Maria123

(((((((((((MyPeggy))))))))))))))), I am hoping memory serves me correctly but if it does I am wishing you a wonderful, magical birthday. I hope you have an awesome day. Today is clearly a "spoil Peggy" day. Happy Birthday my beautiful friend, love Maria

ruejacobs · ruejacobs

so i wandered onto this forum after my son had called me from the mental hospital to say terrible tihngs to me. i jumped right in the chatbox, having an idea of what al-anon is for... i might've been wrong. i'm all out of ideas on coping with the kid's constant drug and alcohol abuse and needed (still need)...

peace2me · peace2me

Is it me or am I missing something?? Do I need to be a "member" or something to get acknowledged on this site? This is the very reason I don't attend Al Anon. I feel like a number. Every time I try to attend I get the same old spill - nobody is allowed to share their personal experiences, only &...

libitinarian · libitinarian

I am a double winner, in both programs,...AA and Al-Anon. I am 7 and a half months sober and my boyfriend is 5 and a half months sober. We actually both joined AA at the same time and since then, he has relapsed. Of course we have both lied to one another about each other's vices but a couple of nights ago,...

weggie · weggie

Good Afternoon to all: What a wonderful and enlighting couple of f to f meetings I have attended in the last month. Last night we talked about Facing Reality---WOW---very powerful. Everyone took a turn and read out of How AL-Alon Works, new book and love it. When it came to me I read That it isn't ea...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

OK, so I am seeing it. But just now!Why do I create illusion? My mind just goes down this path and totally and completely makes this story up. one that is not based in ANY kind of reality.I project an entire saga onto someone. Me with this person, this well appointed saga. All sorts of details.And th...

Lyndie · Lyndie

Hi all. Im new here and really need some es&h. I have been married to my H for 13 yrs. He is what most would call a dry drunk. He has not had a drink in 12 yrs, however, his behavior has not changed a lot since then. He is quite selfish and irresponsible. He has had court issues which were recently finished...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

Last night I had a dream that a helicopter landed in my front yard and an emergency medical crew brought my AH out on a stretcher. They loaded up and left, with me calling out "wait, you're supposed to take him with you!" My AH went in the house and proceeded to behave like a drunken madman. I too...

buick23 · buick23

Well since yesterday didn't go so well I just had to share this. My Abfsober left a little while ago. I don't know but maybe he is going to an AA meeting. He has not been to one in a while. If he is going, I'm guessing he did drink yesterday but even if he did not, I am feeling some relief. Meetings have always be...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I know what hating an ex did to my life before and how it did more harm to me than him, but again I find myself trying to fight the anger/resentments I feel toward Ex ABF. He has excepted no responsibilty for the way things are, has not once said he is sorry, and continues to tell me he is working on him fro...

Christy · Christy

So how was Evelyn's anniversary? Did you get any feedback from those who were there?

Maria123 · Maria123

Lots of us here in the Northeast, at least Taxachusetts particularly and where I live, got hit by an ice storm which downed the trees and electric lines. I am fortunate enough to have gotten my electricity back late yesterday but my boy's home will be down for about 4 days. The silver lining is that they...

soconfused · soconfused

I think I'm finally there! I just spent the last 3 weeks so sad...so miserable because he was still rejecting me. Still saying he wants to be w/ me and loves me but wouldn't answer my calls, ignored my emails and did not answer the door. He hasn't even once asked to see his daughter in almost a mth! Luckily s...

buick23 · buick23

I wasn't going to post this, but I know everyone understands these things and I always feel better after posting. Well, my Abfsober has been gone all day with his friend with the exeption of coming home for lunch for an hour. I am upset and have this all so familiar bad feeling. I remember the times when he...

Robinks · Robinks

Hi - sorry I missed you in the room, i saw you login but I was away from the computer, how are you?

Jean4444 · Jean4444

to fail and fall and feel like crap. Denial is such a seductive thing, isn't it? The imaginary is so wonderful and so tempting! I need to grieve. A loss. Another loss. Chalk it up. Keep on keeping on. Process the feelings. I don't even have to go into the details of what happened because its the bro...

Loupiness · Loupiness

...and I think there may have been smoke coming our her ears, but I stayed as cool as a cucumber. Yes, I did. Yay! for me. My 11.5 yr old daughter wanted her dad to pick her up at 9:00 last night after his programs to help her with her math. She wants time with him, more than the help, and I understand the ne...

Lyndie · Lyndie

In the rooms we talk about feelings alot. I hear many who have been around say things to the effect of 'what is your part in how you feel? or my feelings are my own problem." I don't understand how feeling my feelings is a bad thing. I cannot casually brush off my h's behavior like it doesn't bother me,...

madmom · madmom

Hello again, the last time I posted here was in October. I talked about giving my AH a choice. Well, as you all probably could guess and know, that didn't work out. I begged off giving the choice in the end. I said I'd be back to post but then I became hesitant. In the meantime I've been reading literatur...

Codependent · Codependent

As I told you last weekend the A had called to go out and then we didn't. Well, last night we did and what a disaster! I cried all night in front of him and today as well. Alcohol was involved for both of us- and yes I have now accepted that alcohol is a problem for me as well. I really am not looking for pity he...

Lyndie · Lyndie

In the rooms we talk about feelings alot. I hear many who have been around say things to the effect of 'what is your part in how you feel? or my feelings are my own problem." I don't understand how feeling my feelings is a bad thing. I cannot casually brush off my h's behavior like it doesn't bother me,...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just a short note to say that my life is getting better--day by day. I am living a fairly good life with my husband again. We have been under the same roof since October--not a long time but great! We have interesting mornings some- times but that's because I am still not a morning person. I am so happy for...

slowlearner · slowlearner

I'm searching for books on boundaries and detachment. I have the ones from Melodie Beattie and one from Pia Mellody. Is there any other suggestions? I like basic and simple. After all it takes me a while to catch onto things!!!! I've been working on detachment - it's a good thing. I'm amazed that n...

deniseminh · deniseminh

Hello. I am new to Al Anon. Been going to my "home" group for about 2 months. Taking it slow. Absorbing. I don't have a sponsor yet, but am waiting for that to happen organically for me. I'm doing reading, but haven't started working the steps. I am not a Buddhist, but am certainly not a Ch...

bob6502 · bob6502

Happy Birthday to our lovely and talented Danz!!! Happy 29th my love!!! Love, SenoraBob

joyoma · joyoma

Christmas and the holiday season has a way of making everything more intense, more dramatic. Even before the years of dysfunctional family problems and our health issues, the season often had some tensions and some unhappy things associated with the activities. I have often overcome these thing...

blender_girl · blender_girl

I've been feeling pretty good the past couple of weeks, I guess it was time to test my recovery last night. The past few weeks, one of my boundaries has been to sleep in another room if my AH has been drinking as he tends to wake me up in the middle of the night with his monologues and diatribes. This usually...

glad · glad

There has been a little drama about christmas plans in my family this year. In Sept my brother "called" thanksgiving meaning he said he wanted our dinner to be at a certain time to accomodate his schedule and ask if that was okay- so fine no problem I just said my daughters would like Christma...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

My AS is not doing well, and I am not doing well, I have these overwhelming feelings of despair, especially when he visits and he not high and he is more like the son I know, and then "boom" he reappears as the person I don't know anymore, and I go back in my mind to better days and how I long to see hi...

Christy · Christy

For 20 yrs. Christmas has been been a difficult time for me. Twenty yrs. ago I had a beautiful daughter, born Dec. 3, died on January 9th. We shared only one Christmas. From then on I allowed it to change all the rest. I have pictures of me holding her while she stared at the sparkling tree. She would have be...

glad lee · glad lee

Last week, I was asked by my manager, to cover a shift on Sunday. (This was a huge favor to ask.) I agreed to cover HALF the shift only. She was very grateful and said she would cover the second half, replacing me by 2:00. Well, 2:05 rolls around and I'm ready to go, but she's not there. Another employee,...

maresie · maresie

As you all know its certainly pretty difficult for me to get on with my roommates. Tomorrow one of my roommates is one year sober. She's been going to court diverted classes for a year now and had had mandatory drug tests week in week out. Somehow someway she made the choice to stay clean, through ill...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello all, While reading a post I had a thought. This year my first living alone ever and having my income level drop along with all the economics going on is going to be different than other years. I've decided I am sending holiday cards to our fellow MIPs, and getting something special for my nephew's f...

david62 · david62

Hi (((Family))) Not sure what is up with me lately, but I have been having the most vivid dreams just prior to time for me to get up in the morning. Some good, some bad, some just plain weird!! The latest one was very good. I was in the school band from 6th grade thru graduation from High School. For the fir...

maresie · maresie

I think its taken me a full 7 years to let go of the A. Of course this task was helped immensely by learning detachment. Nowadys I try to work on letting go of resentment, things I have no control over. The more I let go the better things are. Of course like anything else i have to practice that all the time...

Angry · Angry

Hello I am frustrated again ,angry and I feel hopeless AGAIN. I presently got married (May 3rd) to the guy I always knew he is the ONE . We been together for about 8 years and I always knew he had a drinking problem. He likes to drink on the weekends ONLY . He doesn't just drink ,he gets wasted. I am reading...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	SOME NEW ONE-LINERS TO THINK ABOUT (Preview) I could not progress in my own recovery until I learned to focus on MY own recovery. If you want to be original -- be yourself. If we put everything in Gods hands -- Gods hands will be in everything. If you want serenity , put God between you and your problem . The only thing we can change about the past is our a...	abbyal	7	1925	Dec 19, 2008 by Mobirdie
	Maturity vs. Immaturity (Preview) (Another old share from '06) I wandered into the chat room and was looking at the top of the screen where it says "topic" and was then thinking how people come in and ask "whats the topic?" which led me to thinking, gee wouldn't it be fun to have a "today's topic" every da...	kismetstrand	5	905	Dec 19, 2008 by carolinagirl
	rejection (Preview) Hallo all I havent visited the forum for almost two years. I previously used to attend alanon meetings regularly and i suddenly stoped when i felt better and able to cope with life. Around the same time i broke up with my recovering alcoholic. Just recently he became very interested in me again and want...	hopegrace	7	968	Dec 19, 2008 by hopegrace
	Can you ever be "friends" with someone you are in love with? (Preview) I know this is irrelevant really considering my circumstances, but the A told me he didn't understand why I couldn't be his friend just because he didn't want that kind of relationship with me at this particular time. Just thought I would throw that out as a topic for discussion.	Codependent	8	3669	Dec 18, 2008 by carolinagirl
	home movies (Preview) ran across the youtube video i made of my son, Gnu, when i was checking up on my account's comments. it made me unbelievably sad just watching it. i miss him so much. -- Edited by ruejacobs at 17:13, 2008-12-16	ruejacobs	3	474	Dec 18, 2008 by maresie
	getting my focus back (Preview) I am finally getting my focus back. I finished a few things that needed to be done and feel much better. For a major change in my life that is coming up, and I have been stressing about, today I am letting higher power deal with it. My mind seems clear today and hopefully I can accomplish the same tomorrow. I...	buick23	2	557	Dec 18, 2008 by maresie
	Doing nothing, and letting go... (Preview) After the past month I can't believe I can even right that I am doing ok with doing nothing and being still....It amazes me.......Now mind ya it's not for very long periods of time and I have to be driving my sponsor crazy at this point, but I can actually FEEL myself being ok. My need to knows still get t...	shellyj123	2	629	Dec 18, 2008 by maresie
	His HP (Preview) Why do I find it so hard to believe that my A's HP loves the A as much as I do? Why do I think I need to intercede on the A's behalf- afraid HP will want to punish the A or "let" him die? Do you think the A has to be receptive to HP in order for HP to work in his life?	Codependent	6	664	Dec 18, 2008 by maresie
	Step 5 feeback~ (Preview) Am getting ready to take the 5th step and was just looking for some ESH from other members.....It seems like every step brings about more changes and clearer senses in me and I guess I am just wondering what to expect next...... thanks for letting me share......	shellyj123	2	934	Dec 18, 2008 by Jerry F
	Great posting today!! (Preview) Destruction. Crashing realities exploding in imperfect landings. Ouch. It's my heart that's breaking, for these have been my fantasies and my world. --Mary Casey We frequently aren't given what we want - whether it's a particular job, a certain relationship, a special talent. But we are always gi...	Jean4444	1	543	Dec 18, 2008 by slowlearner
	slip up and a blessing (Preview) I got a call from someone in my church and they asked for a list of 4 things each of my family wants for Christmas. I guess there is a company that works with my church that does this each year. (i hope its ok i'm posting this, but its for a reason)So there will be gifts for us, I am so grateful. It shows me that wh...	Lyndie	1	518	Dec 18, 2008 by Jean4444
	Having a Hard Time (Preview) My son (21) has been on a binge for four months which resulted in three incarcerations and 2 hospital stays. We have tried everything to get him help, but he has not hit his bottom. He goes back to court Thursday and may get jail time. Anyway, his friends bailed him out on Tuesday and I let him back in the hou...	Trinia2	7	724	Dec 17, 2008 by Trinia2
	It Begins Again (Preview) I will try not to go into too much detail. But someone needs prayers right now, several someones that are very special to me. My daughter is facing some health problems that are still undiagnosed, she's functioning but going through odd symptoms and lots of tests. She's in the middle of changing jobs,...	barisax	8	712	Dec 17, 2008 by barisax
	Self preservation (Preview) I spent 7 years obsessing about the fact the A did not like to help me out when I was "down". Now I'm having to look at underneath that I was not yet ready to learn self preservation. These days I'm getting there, better boundaries, better outlook. I have a terrible head cold that came over m...	maresie	4	578	Dec 17, 2008 by Jean4444
	Self-supporting? Tradition 7 - how to apply to self/home (Preview) (An old July 2006 share) Tradition 7: Every group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions. When I was new to Al-Anon I didn't pay much mind to the traditions. They seem kinda dry to me and not related to what I needed in trying to make my life manageable once again. Hahaha. Li...	kismetstrand	2	1332	Dec 17, 2008 by Jean4444
	Ok - so here's my story then....... (Preview) Married for 14 years. When we met we were each coming out of a divorce. We were not young at that time, but were going through sort of a rebellious stage I guess ou could say. In other words, we were both partying. My habits were temporary - and I assumed his would be under the circumstances - but they we...	peace2me	6	756	Dec 16, 2008 by peace2me
	THE RELAXED APPROACH (Preview) (Forget where I saw this, but liked it!) THE RELAXED APPROACH Step One: RELAX I don't have to be in charge or in control anymore. It's going to be okay. Step Two: RELAX I can simply believe that someone stronger than I can restore me to health and wholeness. Step Three: RELAX I can easily turn my whole life...	kismetstrand	1	658	Dec 16, 2008 by Christy
	Re: previous post...what did I do wrong? (Preview) Re: my previous post called acceptance...I have to say that I thought the response to me feeling GOOD about finally being able to say the things and needed to say to A w/out feeling so guilty and sad that it was a good thing? I didn't think I would be told to go to meetings because I'm angry and resentful? I r...	soconfused	4	765	Dec 16, 2008 by Jerry F
	Step 1 Share - Powerlessness/Managing (Preview) Thoughts from a June 2006 share.... It is amazing when I look back at how much managing I tried to do of others (people, places, things), not realizing how crazy making this was for me. I remember listening to an older member adding under her breath these words (in parenthesis) to the serenity prayer: G...	kismetstrand	1	1212	Dec 16, 2008 by Jerry F
	Focus on Recovery - What it means to you (Preview) (Another oldie.... smile... and yes, I'm still learning!) Was reading another post elsewhere and got to thinking about what recovery means to me. What the purpose of my recovery is. Basically for me, it is to get my own life back. To feel good about me, about my family, how we live, how we interact, an...	kismetstrand	1	568	Dec 16, 2008 by Jerry F
	busy couple weeks ahead (Preview) Hello everyone, Just a note to check in and explain I will be spending alot of time at work, and in the hospital for a couple weeks. I wish I could be here instead I hope everyone is doing well, and enjoying the holiday preparation! Be back as soon as I can. Jen	Jennifer	2	456	Dec 16, 2008 by joyoma
	New Addition (Preview) Hi all, :) We are so excited in my home. I have changed my avatar to show you all the new addition to the family. Her name is Mia and we expect her to join us in early January. :) Mandy -- Edited by Mandy123 at 13:04, 2008-12-15 hehe now I figured out how to attach a pic :) -- Edited by Mandy123 at 13:15, 2008-12-...	Mandy123	4	572	Dec 16, 2008 by Karilynn
	recovering alcoholic husband leaving me (Preview) hello.... this is my first post here. i need help. i am the daughter and wife of alcoholics. my husband was in aa when i met him and has never relapsed we have been together for 6 years and married for 4 months but everything has come crashing down. directly after the honeymoon he decided i was 'controllin...	helpme14	12	8158	Dec 16, 2008 by Sandy123
	How My HP Works (Preview) I think I need one of those smilies that's half smile/half crying. Or maybe just The very first post I did here I talked about how afraid to go to face to face meetings because of some ugly things I percieved happened to me. For a while, there's been no pull, no guilt, no fear that I was missing out. Just ove...	JenM	7	581	Dec 15, 2008 by ruejacobs
	We got us here a Birthday Girl - Peggy77 (Preview) (((((((((((MyPeggy))))))))))))))), I am hoping memory serves me correctly but if it does I am wishing you a wonderful, magical birthday. I hope you have an awesome day. Today is clearly a "spoil Peggy" day. Happy Birthday my beautiful friend, love Maria	Maria123	6	674	Dec 15, 2008 by blender_girl
	pre-meeting questions (Preview) so i wandered onto this forum after my son had called me from the mental hospital to say terrible tihngs to me. i jumped right in the chatbox, having an idea of what al-anon is for... i might've been wrong. i'm all out of ideas on coping with the kid's constant drug and alcohol abuse and needed (still need)...	ruejacobs	4	728	Dec 15, 2008 by Jen
	Is any one out there?????? (Preview) Is it me or am I missing something?? Do I need to be a "member" or something to get acknowledged on this site? This is the very reason I don't attend Al Anon. I feel like a number. Every time I try to attend I get the same old spill - nobody is allowed to share their personal experiences, only &...	peace2me	8	601	Dec 15, 2008 by Jen
	Double Winner Suspecting Partner (Preview) I am a double winner, in both programs,...AA and Al-Anon. I am 7 and a half months sober and my boyfriend is 5 and a half months sober. We actually both joined AA at the same time and since then, he has relapsed. Of course we have both lied to one another about each other's vices but a couple of nights ago,...	libitinarian	8	773	Dec 15, 2008 by libitinarian
	FYI on F to F meeting (Preview) Good Afternoon to all: What a wonderful and enlighting couple of f to f meetings I have attended in the last month. Last night we talked about Facing Reality---WOW---very powerful. Everyone took a turn and read out of How AL-Alon Works, new book and love it. When it came to me I read That it isn't ea...	weggie	3	605	Dec 15, 2008 by aunitedway
	I create an illusion/fantasy totally on my own w/o even realizing it! How nuts is that?! (Preview) OK, so I am seeing it. But just now!Why do I create illusion? My mind just goes down this path and totally and completely makes this story up. one that is not based in ANY kind of reality.I project an entire saga onto someone. Me with this person, this well appointed saga. All sorts of details.And th...	Jean4444	8	746	Dec 15, 2008 by Jen
	newbie here... (Preview) Hi all. Im new here and really need some es&h. I have been married to my H for 13 yrs. He is what most would call a dry drunk. He has not had a drink in 12 yrs, however, his behavior has not changed a lot since then. He is quite selfish and irresponsible. He has had court issues which were recently finished...	Lyndie	6	627	Dec 15, 2008 by aunitedway
	creepy dream (Preview) Last night I had a dream that a helicopter landed in my front yard and an emergency medical crew brought my AH out on a stretcher. They loaded up and left, with me calling out "wait, you're supposed to take him with you!" My AH went in the house and proceeded to behave like a drunken madman. I too...	RainyJamie	8	609	Dec 15, 2008 by aunitedway
	follow up (Preview) Well since yesterday didn't go so well I just had to share this. My Abfsober left a little while ago. I don't know but maybe he is going to an AA meeting. He has not been to one in a while. If he is going, I'm guessing he did drink yesterday but even if he did not, I am feeling some relief. Meetings have always be...	buick23	4	492	Dec 15, 2008 by buick23
	Struggling not to hate, and to let go of anger/resentments (Preview) I know what hating an ex did to my life before and how it did more harm to me than him, but again I find myself trying to fight the anger/resentments I feel toward Ex ABF. He has excepted no responsibilty for the way things are, has not once said he is sorry, and continues to tell me he is working on him fro...	shellyj123	8	1764	Dec 15, 2008 by maresie
	maresie (Preview) So how was Evelyn's anniversary? Did you get any feedback from those who were there?	Christy	1	483	Dec 15, 2008 by maresie
	In every cloud is a silver lining . . . (Preview) Lots of us here in the Northeast, at least Taxachusetts particularly and where I live, got hit by an ice storm which downed the trees and electric lines. I am fortunate enough to have gotten my electricity back late yesterday but my boy's home will be down for about 4 days. The silver lining is that they...	Maria123	8	526	Dec 15, 2008 by maresie
	acceptance (Preview) I think I'm finally there! I just spent the last 3 weeks so sad...so miserable because he was still rejecting me. Still saying he wants to be w/ me and loves me but wouldn't answer my calls, ignored my emails and did not answer the door. He hasn't even once asked to see his daughter in almost a mth! Luckily s...	soconfused	2	581	Dec 15, 2008 by maresie
	that all so familiar uncomfortable feeling (Preview) I wasn't going to post this, but I know everyone understands these things and I always feel better after posting. Well, my Abfsober has been gone all day with his friend with the exeption of coming home for lunch for an hour. I am upset and have this all so familiar bad feeling. I remember the times when he...	buick23	7	780	Dec 15, 2008 by maresie
	Lani (Preview) Hi - sorry I missed you in the room, i saw you login but I was away from the computer, how are you?	Robinks	0	359	Dec 15, 2008 by Robinks
	I set myself up again... (Preview) to fail and fall and feel like crap. Denial is such a seductive thing, isn't it? The imaginary is so wonderful and so tempting! I need to grieve. A loss. Another loss. Chalk it up. Keep on keeping on. Process the feelings. I don't even have to go into the details of what happened because its the bro...	Jean4444	16	748	Dec 15, 2008 by maresie
	yelling, screaming, tantruming.... (Preview) ...and I think there may have been smoke coming our her ears, but I stayed as cool as a cucumber. Yes, I did. Yay! for me. My 11.5 yr old daughter wanted her dad to pick her up at 9:00 last night after his programs to help her with her math. She wants time with him, more than the help, and I understand the ne...	Loupiness	9	724	Dec 15, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	hard time understanding something (Preview) In the rooms we talk about feelings alot. I hear many who have been around say things to the effect of 'what is your part in how you feel? or my feelings are my own problem." I don't understand how feeling my feelings is a bad thing. I cannot casually brush off my h's behavior like it doesn't bother me,...	Lyndie	6	640	Dec 15, 2008 by Karilynn
	Trying again.... (Preview) Hello again, the last time I posted here was in October. I talked about giving my AH a choice. Well, as you all probably could guess and know, that didn't work out. I begged off giving the choice in the end. I said I'd be back to post but then I became hesitant. In the meantime I've been reading literatur...	madmom	6	537	Dec 14, 2008 by nmike
	My own worst enemy (Preview) As I told you last weekend the A had called to go out and then we didn't. Well, last night we did and what a disaster! I cried all night in front of him and today as well. Alcohol was involved for both of us- and yes I have now accepted that alcohol is a problem for me as well. I really am not looking for pity he...	Codependent	7	766	Dec 14, 2008 by Jerry F
	hard time understanding something (Preview) In the rooms we talk about feelings alot. I hear many who have been around say things to the effect of 'what is your part in how you feel? or my feelings are my own problem." I don't understand how feeling my feelings is a bad thing. I cannot casually brush off my h's behavior like it doesn't bother me,...	Lyndie	3	521	Dec 14, 2008 by Jen
	Life is a little better! (Preview) Just a short note to say that my life is getting better--day by day. I am living a fairly good life with my husband again. We have been under the same roof since October--not a long time but great! We have interesting mornings some- times but that's because I am still not a morning person. I am so happy for...	Hoot Nanny	1	507	Dec 14, 2008 by peace2me
	Book an boundaries and detachment (Preview) I'm searching for books on boundaries and detachment. I have the ones from Melodie Beattie and one from Pia Mellody. Is there any other suggestions? I like basic and simple. After all it takes me a while to catch onto things!!!! I've been working on detachment - it's a good thing. I'm amazed that n...	slowlearner	1	793	Dec 13, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	Introduction, any Buddhists out there? (Preview) Hello. I am new to Al Anon. Been going to my "home" group for about 2 months. Taking it slow. Absorbing. I don't have a sponsor yet, but am waiting for that to happen organically for me. I'm doing reading, but haven't started working the steps. I am not a Buddhist, but am certainly not a Ch...	deniseminh	6	2415	Dec 13, 2008 by deniseminh
	Happy Birthday!!!! (Preview) Happy Birthday to our lovely and talented Danz!!! Happy 29th my love!!! Love, SenoraBob	bob6502	5	493	Dec 12, 2008 by Karilynn
	a sense of relief about Christmas (Preview) Christmas and the holiday season has a way of making everything more intense, more dramatic. Even before the years of dysfunctional family problems and our health issues, the season often had some tensions and some unhappy things associated with the activities. I have often overcome these thing...	joyoma	7	684	Dec 12, 2008 by Jean4444
	Obliterated Boundaries (Preview) I've been feeling pretty good the past couple of weeks, I guess it was time to test my recovery last night. The past few weeks, one of my boundaries has been to sleep in another room if my AH has been drinking as he tends to wake me up in the middle of the night with his monologues and diatribes. This usually...	blender_girl	7	1023	Dec 12, 2008 by maresie
	holly jolly Christmas (Preview) There has been a little drama about christmas plans in my family this year. In Sept my brother "called" thanksgiving meaning he said he wanted our dinner to be at a certain time to accomodate his schedule and ask if that was okay- so fine no problem I just said my daughters would like Christma...	glad	4	657	Dec 12, 2008 by maresie
	Feeling Sad Tonight.... (Preview) My AS is not doing well, and I am not doing well, I have these overwhelming feelings of despair, especially when he visits and he not high and he is more like the son I know, and then "boom" he reappears as the person I don't know anymore, and I go back in my mind to better days and how I long to see hi...	DreamsOver	6	656	Dec 12, 2008 by maresie
	Grateful (Preview) For 20 yrs. Christmas has been been a difficult time for me. Twenty yrs. ago I had a beautiful daughter, born Dec. 3, died on January 9th. We shared only one Christmas. From then on I allowed it to change all the rest. I have pictures of me holding her while she stared at the sparkling tree. She would have be...	Christy	7	670	Dec 12, 2008 by Loupiness
	I teach people how to treat me (Preview) Last week, I was asked by my manager, to cover a shift on Sunday. (This was a huge favor to ask.) I agreed to cover HALF the shift only. She was very grateful and said she would cover the second half, replacing me by 2:00. Well, 2:05 rolls around and I'm ready to go, but she's not there. Another employee,...	glad lee	5	1205	Dec 12, 2008 by Loupiness
	more on moving on (Preview) As you all know its certainly pretty difficult for me to get on with my roommates. Tomorrow one of my roommates is one year sober. She's been going to court diverted classes for a year now and had had mandatory drug tests week in week out. Somehow someway she made the choice to stay clean, through ill...	maresie	6	616	Dec 12, 2008 by Loupiness
	Memorable holidays with little funds ... share ideas,memories please (Preview) Hello all, While reading a post I had a thought. This year my first living alone ever and having my income level drop along with all the economics going on is going to be different than other years. I've decided I am sending holiday cards to our fellow MIPs, and getting something special for my nephew's f...	Jennifer	4	577	Dec 12, 2008 by Jennifer
	Striking up the Band to a tune called "Making Amends" (Preview) Hi (((Family))) Not sure what is up with me lately, but I have been having the most vivid dreams just prior to time for me to get up in the morning. Some good, some bad, some just plain weird!! The latest one was very good. I was in the school band from 6th grade thru graduation from High School. For the fir...	david62	7	807	Dec 11, 2008 by Jerry F
	letting go (Preview) I think its taken me a full 7 years to let go of the A. Of course this task was helped immensely by learning detachment. Nowadys I try to work on letting go of resentment, things I have no control over. The more I let go the better things are. Of course like anything else i have to practice that all the time...	maresie	5	590	Dec 11, 2008 by peace2me
	new on this site and a newlywed (Preview) Hello I am frustrated again ,angry and I feel hopeless AGAIN. I presently got married (May 3rd) to the guy I always knew he is the ONE . We been together for about 8 years and I always knew he had a drinking problem. He likes to drink on the weekends ONLY . He doesn't just drink ,he gets wasted. I am reading...	Angry	7	754	Dec 11, 2008 by Sis63
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.