Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

My AS is not doing well, and I am not doing well, I have these overwhelming feelings of despair, especially when he visits and he not high and he is more like the son I know, and then "boom" he reappears as the person I don't know anymore, and I go back in my mind to better days and how I long to see hi...

Christy · Christy

For 20 yrs. Christmas has been been a difficult time for me. Twenty yrs. ago I had a beautiful daughter, born Dec. 3, died on January 9th. We shared only one Christmas. From then on I allowed it to change all the rest. I have pictures of me holding her while she stared at the sparkling tree. She would have be...

glad lee · glad lee

Last week, I was asked by my manager, to cover a shift on Sunday. (This was a huge favor to ask.) I agreed to cover HALF the shift only. She was very grateful and said she would cover the second half, replacing me by 2:00. Well, 2:05 rolls around and I'm ready to go, but she's not there. Another employee,...

maresie · maresie

As you all know its certainly pretty difficult for me to get on with my roommates. Tomorrow one of my roommates is one year sober. She's been going to court diverted classes for a year now and had had mandatory drug tests week in week out. Somehow someway she made the choice to stay clean, through ill...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello all, While reading a post I had a thought. This year my first living alone ever and having my income level drop along with all the economics going on is going to be different than other years. I've decided I am sending holiday cards to our fellow MIPs, and getting something special for my nephew's f...

david62 · david62

Hi (((Family))) Not sure what is up with me lately, but I have been having the most vivid dreams just prior to time for me to get up in the morning. Some good, some bad, some just plain weird!! The latest one was very good. I was in the school band from 6th grade thru graduation from High School. For the fir...

maresie · maresie

I think its taken me a full 7 years to let go of the A. Of course this task was helped immensely by learning detachment. Nowadys I try to work on letting go of resentment, things I have no control over. The more I let go the better things are. Of course like anything else i have to practice that all the time...

Angry · Angry

Hello I am frustrated again ,angry and I feel hopeless AGAIN. I presently got married (May 3rd) to the guy I always knew he is the ONE . We been together for about 8 years and I always knew he had a drinking problem. He likes to drink on the weekends ONLY . He doesn't just drink ,he gets wasted. I am reading...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

rt where are you? yours in recovery, Mandy

debilyn · debilyn

Doctor said you are not depressed, you're tired. Lets see, doing another loan mod. Go see my main house, it is a total mess, most cosmetic. They lived there almost two years with a deal of $150 off the rent to do upkeep and repair. Not even a lightbulb was changed when it blew out. Furnace filter was horri...

charlescharles · charlescharles

i'm tired...i'm tired of being the whipping boy...feel like i really aient got no one to talk with...other people laying their problems on y head....feel alone...a bit tortured and tired tv don't work and generally i feel a bit disconnected went to a grea meeting tonight..but like the drugs i used to...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hi Friends, The posts here have been so great lately. I have been plugging along each day. A bit concerned that my ODAT attitude may actually be denial. Thought I had the holidays all handled, emotionally that is. I really wasn't too stressed, for I realized that they always come and always go, and thi...

smileycat · smileycat

Hi all I an in needof help. My ah is out of the house and has filed cousdty papers on the 15 and 18 year old child. tomarrow is the court date and up til now he has been telling me and the childern that they need to be there. He got a letter today from his A Couseler today that was less then in his faviter and I thin...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

rt where are you? yours in recovery, Mandy

smileycat · smileycat

Hi All Court when we both have joint cous for now until a law guarding can talk to her. But I am so madat how easy I just roll over and play died and let him get the things that he wants from me. I know that we have been separated for only three week and it is hard to stop old habits. He was so sweet talking to a...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Woke up this morning and it was like a lightbulb went off in my head after a month of heck on earth........Why would I want someone in my life that doesn't want to be there??????? And if A EBF can't "let go" of all the stuff that he says he "doesn't hold against me" (which I still th...

maresie · maresie

when I first came into this program I had no idea what I was doing to bring me into such chaos. I really viewed myself as a caring, loving, giving person. I saw many of the issues as being the A's. His drug use, his irresponsibility, his chaos. Over time and I'd had a few years into this program I've come to...

nmike · nmike

Help me out with this one. My oldest son got out of the military in Sept. with wife and grandbaby. He said we are moving in with you and I am going to school. I said fine - wow more time with my grandbaby. After a week he said they were moving in with her mother. I said fine - at least it is close and I would get to se...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have received such a great gift from this program! I remember when I first came here, scared, alone, bitter, angry, full of resentment, disappointed, feeling as if my life was over. And in fact, life as I knew it was over. It took many bumps in the road along the way but I would never have known how tru...

robyn · robyn

after 15 years in program I stopped going to meetings. I had seen the miricles happen and enjoyed a lovely peaceful life. now i am back and at 55 years, it seems like a long haul

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, I was re-reading some old stuff and I posted this about 3 years ago. Hope it makes ya smile. Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 7...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

OK AH had to walk to the store tonight to return a video. He was already acting strange, sort of detached...getting on my nerves. I thought about offering him a ride because it is raining off and on. But I didn't. He left and a little while later I had to do somethings, so I figured I'd drive by the store and s...

slowlearner · slowlearner

I have been practicing detachment for about a month now, and my family is rebelling against this idea. I have been trying to do things to improve my outlook on life and the way I live. Such as not caretaking as much and letting my daughters take care of themselves more (They are 18 and 20) they are begin...

Diva · Diva

He is half drunk much of the time lately. Half drunk and defensive. I would like to be able to kick him to the curb, even though I love the man he is when he is sober. I have had enough drinking, promising, drinking, promising. He lies; he drinks; he promises; All too familiar isn't it? But now I have...

erinleigh06 · erinleigh06

I don't know if I'm using this forum in the right way but I guess I'll just go ahead anyway. I need to describe what I am going through and try to get some help because I am at an all time low. I've been crying many times a day this past week as things in my home have gotten increasingly worse. I have always ha...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

I realized this year I just don't have a thing planned for the holidays, and that is fine with me! No little ones around anymore, and I'm even late on decorating because of college classes, but that's okay. I do enjoy decorating the interior of the house, and will just leave it up later this season. We had...

Rita G · Rita G

It was a different Thanksgiving for me this year - I spent the first night in my new rent house. Sleeping on an inflatable bed that didn't hold air, in an older house with absolutely nothing - it was the most wonderful thing I had done in a long, long time. Then Friday, I moved my belongings and my 1/2 of th...

princessloretta · princessloretta

Well it has been awhile since I posted, doesnt mean that things got better, but for awhile since my husbands last binge, it was better, he wasnt drinking and then BAM he started again. Not in a binge but he did drink more than I think he should be ( well actually dont think he should be drinkking anything . l...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

December 7th Business Meeting Minutes Chair opened with Serenity Prayer.Vote for November Business Meeting Minutes were voted on and accepted. Treasurers report was not received as our treasurer was not able to attend the meeting. Discussion took place about importance of each of the officer...

Jennifer · Jennifer

I'm thinking how grateful I am to be sitting here in puffy socks, Mickey Mouse ears, being my own wierd self. I am truly happy. 3 years ago on a Saturday night in December I was caring for a sick dog, wondering if my AH was dead, alive, gonna come home or not, if he would just pass out or rant and rave for hours o...

Sis63 · Sis63

I'm really frustrated with myself. I've been in the Alanon program for a couple of months. Been going to meetings...reading ODAT and CTC daily...but all the progress I thought I was making went up in smoke yesterday. Came home from work and I knew my AH, who had been sober for a couple of months had been d...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Ex ABF, sober 10 yrs and very much in program, and I have been staying in communication through email and phone. I advised him that I could not be just his friend, and that if he was staying in touch out of obligation to the program or me that I did not want to stay in touch, but if he was staying in touch bec...

joyoma · joyoma

Reading posts here for this past week, we certainly share feelings in common. Regardless of whether the A in your life is your current spouse, your EX, your significant other without marriage, your parent, your son or daughter.....we all share the feelings of confusion, anger, hopelessness, sh...

celeb2000 · celeb2000

I have been thinking about al-anon for a while now but I'm not sure if it's the place for me. I'm not sure if anyone can help, actually... I am a 39 year old woman who has been divorced for 10 years. Several years ago I met a man and we started spending time together. Things never got very serious, even though...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family!! The God and me relationship is takening a clearer perspective as it should be due to the continues practice of prayer and meditation. The prayers are no longer pleadings and whinings and have progressed into father-son communications. The meditations continue at the 24/7 rate t...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

Hello, I am very glad I found this board, I need to talk to others that understand what it is to have an addict in your life. My 28 year old son has been using for 10 years, and after thinking for many years that I could help him, or that some wonderful day the handsome, smart and loving son I knew would return...

Toto814 · Toto814

I'm about a week legally separated from my AH not counting the times he never came home. I got a call from him about midnight Friday telling me the following: - he was in the hospital, but didn't know the name of it - he was at the nurse's station calling me on a cell phone as there was no phone in his room - he...

Pantera · Pantera

Hi, all. It is great to see others going through the same things I am. It is truly nice to know you are not alone in what you are experiencing. My AH just got out of rehab and is staying in a halfway house at the same facility. He actually (gasp) got a job to support himself while he is there. I went to visit...

glad · glad

In life, especially with active alcoholism, there will always be issues, differences of views. I WANT TO BE CONTENT WITH THE CHANGES ALREADY MADE, HAPPY AS IS- NOT CONSTANTLY LIVING FOR TOMORROW.. There are three ways to look at my current "thing on my mind" 1. My A/ b/ F called on his wa...

Christy · Christy

((((family)))) My intention is not to push my beliefs on anyone...I'm just posing a question, food for thought. What if: Your true feelings mirrored/reflected what the universe brings to your life? What if: Fear brought you more fear, distrust brought you more distrust, anger brought more anger,...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, the A called last night to see if I wanted to go to dinner. When I called him after work today like we talked about he said yeah he still wanted to do something, but probably around 8 or 9 as he was hungover. I knew this would probably be the case. I calmly said okay well if you don't think you will feel...

kellys_angels · kellys_angels

Hello, My name is Kelly and I have a Christmas Wish. I want my AH to stop and see that asking him to leave me and his babies is really serious. I want him to look at himself and say I don't want to loose the three people that love me no matter what over drinking and drugs. I want him to go get help. I want him...

Maria123 · Maria123

Boy do I love my face to face meetings. We often hear how important going to real meetings are, it's so true. The other night a gentleman was sharing a story of a mistake that he had made a few days earlier, and it was so hard to hear his pain. He felt he had been deceived and tricked into giving out informat...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, Tonight is the Business Meeitng. Here is the agenda I have as of now. Sorry so late in posting this. I have been having pc problems. MIP Al-Anon Business MeetingDecember 7, 2008Open with Serenity PrayerSecretary's Report: ...

smileycat · smileycat

Hi All I have really been working on myself. I came to the realizion that part of my problem is that I have been taking care of poeple from a every young age. I use to made things ok of my A father from at least 10 years old that i can remerber. I had my first child at the young age of 16 and have had to do every thi...

Jennifer · Jennifer

I'm in a little bit of shock and not sure I really want to delve into what this could turn into but for those who have so patiently read about my health issues and frustrations i have an update. I spent 4 hours (ugh) in a MRI tube on Tuesday and they finally caught the proof to give this thing a name. I have n...

ddub · ddub

Ok, so can awareness, acceptance & action work with teenagers or can we only be straight forward when they juggle their own depression and anxiety? I have kids that can breeze through school with A's & B's ranging to my kids that are on special programs for dyslexia. I tend to be a mom who t...

TLynn · TLynn

I just wanted to say thanks to all the members here. I've discovered the search feature on this board and have been using it the last few days. There is an incredible amount of information here. I've always had a hard time talking in groups and an even harder time asking for help. So, I really appreci...

Toto814 · Toto814

About 6 months ago my AH asked for Space so he could get his act together - he said some time apart may be helpful to our marriage - after putting up with his comings and goings for several months, I wrote this as a relection of what his request for "Space" had turned into. Would like to know if an...

cdb19 · cdb19

Hello All, I am doing really well and have been working on me in another 12 step program. My daughter is 2 and 1/2 years clean and sober with a beautiful 13 month old daughter who is the love of my life! My son is now married to a wonderful woman who is the best daughter-in-law I could ever ask for. They are ex...

Christy · Christy

forgot to tell ya'll ... The hunting trip was everything I had hoped it to be for my son and his Dad. Lots of talking and walking in the woods together. A lot of male bonding with with extended family members. But the VERY BEST thing was that out of the 9 guys that had been been going to the cabin for the past 25...

weggie · weggie

Just to let everyone know, I really appreciate this board as I sometimes am not able to go to a f to f meetings. I blew up again at my A this weeknd and said some things I shouldn't but can't take them back. I do have him thinking about what I said as he comes back with some comments about that night. I...

Codependent · Codependent

Has anyone heard from Round3? I haven't seen a post since her A returned and just wanted to see how she was doing...

debilyn · debilyn

I am curious, not being a poop. Really am questioning this. Christmas is a man made holiday,a socalled religious holiday celebrated by some Christians, not all. Not saying socalled to mean anything than some call it as..... AA and Alanon are not to support any religion. So why is this appropriate? We...

charlescharles · charlescharles

hopelessly devouted to crap..i am...the crap of an alcoholic girlfriend drunk dialing at two innthe morning and six in the morning while i have to get up for work the ringer was off but i heard her calling me in a dream...fearful...and the dream woke me up and i saw her calls...i called back to check up on...

Codependent · Codependent

If you read my last post you know I over called my A last night. Said things like I want to be a family, can't get past this, blah blah. Anyway, I left a message and text this morning to say I am sorry for this. I still feel the need to actually talk to him so that I can feel less ashamed of the messages I left. ...

queenie105 · queenie105

As you all know, my AH is doing outpatient treatment as part of a plea bargain w/the court where if completed his charge will be dropped down to a misdemeanor. He agreed to this while he was sober (after he almost died, then went to rehab). He relapsed last month and has been drinking almost daily (15 -3...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So the teen daughter got kicked out of the group home one week after going in. She is now on the caseload of the juvenile justice people and if she doesn't straighten up this time it's off to boot camp and they only take them for a year. So I'm seriously hoping that she straightens up and quick! She has be...

Beach girl · Beach girl

Hello everyone, I'm new here. My 19 yr old son is a drug addict. I won't bore you with the full story of the past 3 years. In a nut shell, due to drug use my son has had psych ward stays, a suicide attempt (this after his best friend committed suicide), violence, drug dealing, car crashes, arrests, ect......

david62 · david62

Hi (((Family))) Coming off a couple of days of being sick..again..ugh. Return of the Stomach Virus! shudder shudder I took the opportunity to read a book. I picked this book up the other day at Costco. I like "scarey" stories, and the cover of this book shows a rickety old shack surrou...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Feeling Sad Tonight.... (Preview) My AS is not doing well, and I am not doing well, I have these overwhelming feelings of despair, especially when he visits and he not high and he is more like the son I know, and then "boom" he reappears as the person I don't know anymore, and I go back in my mind to better days and how I long to see hi...	DreamsOver	6	570	Dec 12, 2008 by maresie
	Grateful (Preview) For 20 yrs. Christmas has been been a difficult time for me. Twenty yrs. ago I had a beautiful daughter, born Dec. 3, died on January 9th. We shared only one Christmas. From then on I allowed it to change all the rest. I have pictures of me holding her while she stared at the sparkling tree. She would have be...	Christy	7	584	Dec 12, 2008 by Loupiness
	I teach people how to treat me (Preview) Last week, I was asked by my manager, to cover a shift on Sunday. (This was a huge favor to ask.) I agreed to cover HALF the shift only. She was very grateful and said she would cover the second half, replacing me by 2:00. Well, 2:05 rolls around and I'm ready to go, but she's not there. Another employee,...	glad lee	5	1127	Dec 12, 2008 by Loupiness
	more on moving on (Preview) As you all know its certainly pretty difficult for me to get on with my roommates. Tomorrow one of my roommates is one year sober. She's been going to court diverted classes for a year now and had had mandatory drug tests week in week out. Somehow someway she made the choice to stay clean, through ill...	maresie	6	533	Dec 12, 2008 by Loupiness
	Memorable holidays with little funds ... share ideas,memories please (Preview) Hello all, While reading a post I had a thought. This year my first living alone ever and having my income level drop along with all the economics going on is going to be different than other years. I've decided I am sending holiday cards to our fellow MIPs, and getting something special for my nephew's f...	Jennifer	4	501	Dec 12, 2008 by Jennifer
	Striking up the Band to a tune called "Making Amends" (Preview) Hi (((Family))) Not sure what is up with me lately, but I have been having the most vivid dreams just prior to time for me to get up in the morning. Some good, some bad, some just plain weird!! The latest one was very good. I was in the school band from 6th grade thru graduation from High School. For the fir...	david62	7	726	Dec 11, 2008 by Jerry F
	letting go (Preview) I think its taken me a full 7 years to let go of the A. Of course this task was helped immensely by learning detachment. Nowadys I try to work on letting go of resentment, things I have no control over. The more I let go the better things are. Of course like anything else i have to practice that all the time...	maresie	5	516	Dec 11, 2008 by peace2me
	new on this site and a newlywed (Preview) Hello I am frustrated again ,angry and I feel hopeless AGAIN. I presently got married (May 3rd) to the guy I always knew he is the ONE . We been together for about 8 years and I always knew he had a drinking problem. He likes to drink on the weekends ONLY . He doesn't just drink ,he gets wasted. I am reading...	Angry	7	667	Dec 11, 2008 by Sis63
	rtexas (Preview) rt where are you? yours in recovery, Mandy	Mandy123	3	330	Dec 11, 2008 by Karilynn
	gads it has to be a joke...hard knocks (Preview) Doctor said you are not depressed, you're tired. Lets see, doing another loan mod. Go see my main house, it is a total mess, most cosmetic. They lived there almost two years with a deal of $150 off the rent to do upkeep and repair. Not even a lightbulb was changed when it blew out. Furnace filter was horri...	debilyn	6	617	Dec 10, 2008 by debilyn
	bored and lonely alone (Preview) i'm tired...i'm tired of being the whipping boy...feel like i really aient got no one to talk with...other people laying their problems on y head....feel alone...a bit tortured and tired tv don't work and generally i feel a bit disconnected went to a grea meeting tonight..but like the drugs i used to...	charlescharles	5	608	Dec 10, 2008 by charlescharles
	bah humbug... (Preview) Hi Friends, The posts here have been so great lately. I have been plugging along each day. A bit concerned that my ODAT attitude may actually be denial. Thought I had the holidays all handled, emotionally that is. I really wasn't too stressed, for I realized that they always come and always go, and thi...	Loupiness	9	549	Dec 10, 2008 by maresie
	HELP!!!!!! (Preview) Hi all I an in needof help. My ah is out of the house and has filed cousdty papers on the 15 and 18 year old child. tomarrow is the court date and up til now he has been telling me and the childern that they need to be there. He got a letter today from his A Couseler today that was less then in his faviter and I thin...	smileycat	6	555	Dec 10, 2008 by maresie
	rtexas (Preview) rt where are you? yours in recovery, Mandy	Mandy123	1	392	Dec 10, 2008 by rtexas
	court (Preview) Hi All Court when we both have joint cous for now until a law guarding can talk to her. But I am so madat how easy I just roll over and play died and let him get the things that he wants from me. I know that we have been separated for only three week and it is hard to stop old habits. He was so sweet talking to a...	smileycat	2	304	Dec 10, 2008 by maresie
	Letting go-is this what it feels like???? (Preview) Woke up this morning and it was like a lightbulb went off in my head after a month of heck on earth........Why would I want someone in my life that doesn't want to be there??????? And if A EBF can't "let go" of all the stuff that he says he "doesn't hold against me" (which I still th...	shellyj123	9	534	Dec 10, 2008 by Jen
	turning a corner (Preview) when I first came into this program I had no idea what I was doing to bring me into such chaos. I really viewed myself as a caring, loving, giving person. I saw many of the issues as being the A's. His drug use, his irresponsibility, his chaos. Over time and I'd had a few years into this program I've come to...	maresie	4	306	Dec 10, 2008 by maresie
	Need your esh on this one (Preview) Help me out with this one. My oldest son got out of the military in Sept. with wife and grandbaby. He said we are moving in with you and I am going to school. I said fine - wow more time with my grandbaby. After a week he said they were moving in with her mother. I said fine - at least it is close and I would get to se...	nmike	8	598	Dec 10, 2008 by joyoma
	The best gift (Preview) I have received such a great gift from this program! I remember when I first came here, scared, alone, bitter, angry, full of resentment, disappointed, feeling as if my life was over. And in fact, life as I knew it was over. It took many bumps in the road along the way but I would never have known how tru...	carolinagirl	3	319	Dec 10, 2008 by Loupiness
	second time round (Preview) after 15 years in program I stopped going to meetings. I had seen the miricles happen and enjoyed a lovely peaceful life. now i am back and at 55 years, it seems like a long haul	robyn	8	528	Dec 10, 2008 by blender_girl
	A sad note (Preview) Hi all, I was re-reading some old stuff and I posted this about 3 years ago. Hope it makes ya smile. Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 7...	Mandy123	6	462	Dec 10, 2008 by Jean4444
	Getting sucked in all over again (Preview) OK AH had to walk to the store tonight to return a video. He was already acting strange, sort of detached...getting on my nerves. I thought about offering him a ride because it is raining off and on. But I didn't. He left and a little while later I had to do somethings, so I figured I'd drive by the store and s...	RainyJamie	3	666	Dec 10, 2008 by RainyJamie
	Family rebelling against my practicing detachment (Preview) I have been practicing detachment for about a month now, and my family is rebelling against this idea. I have been trying to do things to improve my outlook on life and the way I live. Such as not caretaking as much and letting my daughters take care of themselves more (They are 18 and 20) they are begin...	slowlearner	6	1006	Dec 9, 2008 by Jean4444
	I have figured it out. (Preview) He is half drunk much of the time lately. Half drunk and defensive. I would like to be able to kick him to the curb, even though I love the man he is when he is sober. I have had enough drinking, promising, drinking, promising. He lies; he drinks; he promises; All too familiar isn't it? But now I have...	Diva	17	681	Dec 9, 2008 by nmike
	I'm new here (Preview) I don't know if I'm using this forum in the right way but I guess I'll just go ahead anyway. I need to describe what I am going through and try to get some help because I am at an all time low. I've been crying many times a day this past week as things in my home have gotten increasingly worse. I have always ha...	erinleigh06	13	478	Dec 9, 2008 by carolinagirl
	The holidays (Preview) I realized this year I just don't have a thing planned for the holidays, and that is fine with me! No little ones around anymore, and I'm even late on decorating because of college classes, but that's okay. I do enjoy decorating the interior of the house, and will just leave it up later this season. We had...	Tenderheartsks	3	352	Dec 9, 2008 by Karilynn
	Packing, moving, breathing and praying (Preview) It was a different Thanksgiving for me this year - I spent the first night in my new rent house. Sleeping on an inflatable bed that didn't hold air, in an older house with absolutely nothing - it was the most wonderful thing I had done in a long, long time. Then Friday, I moved my belongings and my 1/2 of th...	Rita G	8	644	Dec 8, 2008 by Becky1
	Its been awhile since I posted. I did a bad thing (Preview) Well it has been awhile since I posted, doesnt mean that things got better, but for awhile since my husbands last binge, it was better, he wasnt drinking and then BAM he started again. Not in a binge but he did drink more than I think he should be ( well actually dont think he should be drinkking anything . l...	princessloretta	10	1113	Dec 8, 2008 by princessloretta
	December Business Meeting Minutes (Preview) December 7th Business Meeting Minutes Chair opened with Serenity Prayer.Vote for November Business Meeting Minutes were voted on and accepted. Treasurers report was not received as our treasurer was not able to attend the meeting. Discussion took place about importance of each of the officer...	Mandy123	0	398	Dec 8, 2008 by Mandy123
	What a difference 3 years can make (Preview) I'm thinking how grateful I am to be sitting here in puffy socks, Mickey Mouse ears, being my own wierd self. I am truly happy. 3 years ago on a Saturday night in December I was caring for a sick dog, wondering if my AH was dead, alive, gonna come home or not, if he would just pass out or rant and rave for hours o...	Jennifer	5	486	Dec 8, 2008 by aunitedway
	How do you stop yourself from old habits? (Preview) I'm really frustrated with myself. I've been in the Alanon program for a couple of months. Been going to meetings...reading ODAT and CTC daily...but all the progress I thought I was making went up in smoke yesterday. Came home from work and I knew my AH, who had been sober for a couple of months had been d...	Sis63	10	620	Dec 8, 2008 by aunitedway
	I am having a hard time understanding this one...just plain confused>>>> (Preview) Ex ABF, sober 10 yrs and very much in program, and I have been staying in communication through email and phone. I advised him that I could not be just his friend, and that if he was staying in touch out of obligation to the program or me that I did not want to stay in touch, but if he was staying in touch bec...	shellyj123	8	416	Dec 8, 2008 by Toto814
	feelings in common (Preview) Reading posts here for this past week, we certainly share feelings in common. Regardless of whether the A in your life is your current spouse, your EX, your significant other without marriage, your parent, your son or daughter.....we all share the feelings of confusion, anger, hopelessness, sh...	joyoma	4	399	Dec 8, 2008 by maresie
	been thinking about al-anon for a while now (Preview) I have been thinking about al-anon for a while now but I'm not sure if it's the place for me. I'm not sure if anyone can help, actually... I am a 39 year old woman who has been divorced for 10 years. Several years ago I met a man and we started spending time together. Things never got very serious, even though...	celeb2000	9	542	Dec 8, 2008 by maresie
	The awakening continues... (Preview) Aloha Family!! The God and me relationship is takening a clearer perspective as it should be due to the continues practice of prayer and meditation. The prayers are no longer pleadings and whinings and have progressed into father-son communications. The meditations continue at the 24/7 rate t...	Jerry F	3	596	Dec 8, 2008 by maresie
	Hello, I'm New Here.............. (Preview) Hello, I am very glad I found this board, I need to talk to others that understand what it is to have an addict in your life. My 28 year old son has been using for 10 years, and after thinking for many years that I could help him, or that some wonderful day the handsome, smart and loving son I knew would return...	DreamsOver	5	405	Dec 8, 2008 by maresie
	Is this truly detachment? (Preview) I'm about a week legally separated from my AH not counting the times he never came home. I got a call from him about midnight Friday telling me the following: - he was in the hospital, but didn't know the name of it - he was at the nurse's station calling me on a cell phone as there was no phone in his room - he...	Toto814	4	447	Dec 8, 2008 by maresie
	Stay or Go...A little venting (Preview) Hi, all. It is great to see others going through the same things I am. It is truly nice to know you are not alone in what you are experiencing. My AH just got out of rehab and is staying in a halfway house at the same facility. He actually (gasp) got a job to support himself while he is there. I went to visit...	Pantera	5	543	Dec 8, 2008 by maresie
	Old pervert/ middle age decent guy trouble setting limits or am I a "sucker" ?? (Preview) In life, especially with active alcoholism, there will always be issues, differences of views. I WANT TO BE CONTENT WITH THE CHANGES ALREADY MADE, HAPPY AS IS- NOT CONSTANTLY LIVING FOR TOMORROW.. There are three ways to look at my current "thing on my mind" 1. My A/ b/ F called on his wa...	glad	6	1255	Dec 8, 2008 by maresie
	What if? (Preview) ((((family)))) My intention is not to push my beliefs on anyone...I'm just posing a question, food for thought. What if: Your true feelings mirrored/reflected what the universe brings to your life? What if: Fear brought you more fear, distrust brought you more distrust, anger brought more anger,...	Christy	13	631	Dec 8, 2008 by carolinagirl
	How do you show boundaries while not showing expectation- specific incident...? (Preview) Well, the A called last night to see if I wanted to go to dinner. When I called him after work today like we talked about he said yeah he still wanted to do something, but probably around 8 or 9 as he was hungover. I knew this would probably be the case. I calmly said okay well if you don't think you will feel...	Codependent	8	1872	Dec 8, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Christmas Wish (Preview) Hello, My name is Kelly and I have a Christmas Wish. I want my AH to stop and see that asking him to leave me and his babies is really serious. I want him to look at himself and say I don't want to loose the three people that love me no matter what over drinking and drugs. I want him to go get help. I want him...	kellys_angels	7	575	Dec 7, 2008 by kellys_angels
	Step 9 Story (Preview) Boy do I love my face to face meetings. We often hear how important going to real meetings are, it's so true. The other night a gentleman was sharing a story of a mistake that he had made a few days earlier, and it was so hard to hear his pain. He felt he had been deceived and tricked into giving out informat...	Maria123	4	1383	Dec 7, 2008 by norwood
	December Business meeting tonight (Preview) Hi all, Tonight is the Business Meeitng. Here is the agenda I have as of now. Sorry so late in posting this. I have been having pc problems. MIP Al-Anon Business MeetingDecember 7, 2008Open with Serenity PrayerSecretary's Report: ...	Mandy123	0	276	Dec 7, 2008 by Mandy123
	Hugh Break throught (Preview) Hi All I have really been working on myself. I came to the realizion that part of my problem is that I have been taking care of poeple from a every young age. I use to made things ok of my A father from at least 10 years old that i can remerber. I had my first child at the young age of 16 and have had to do every thi...	smileycat	4	433	Dec 7, 2008 by nmike
	Health update (Preview) I'm in a little bit of shock and not sure I really want to delve into what this could turn into but for those who have so patiently read about my health issues and frustrations i have an update. I spent 4 hours (ugh) in a MRI tube on Tuesday and they finally caught the proof to give this thing a name. I have n...	Jennifer	7	386	Dec 7, 2008 by Christy
	kids!!! (Preview) Ok, so can awareness, acceptance & action work with teenagers or can we only be straight forward when they juggle their own depression and anxiety? I have kids that can breeze through school with A's & B's ranging to my kids that are on special programs for dyslexia. I tend to be a mom who t...	ddub	8	511	Dec 6, 2008 by Jerry F
	thanks to all (Preview) I just wanted to say thanks to all the members here. I've discovered the search feature on this board and have been using it the last few days. There is an incredible amount of information here. I've always had a hard time talking in groups and an even harder time asking for help. So, I really appreci...	TLynn	2	403	Dec 6, 2008 by Jerry F
	AH needs Space (Preview) About 6 months ago my AH asked for Space so he could get his act together - he said some time apart may be helpful to our marriage - after putting up with his comings and goings for several months, I wrote this as a relection of what his request for "Space" had turned into. Would like to know if an...	Toto814	4	391	Dec 6, 2008 by maresie
	LIFE IS GREAT :) (Preview) Hello All, I am doing really well and have been working on me in another 12 step program. My daughter is 2 and 1/2 years clean and sober with a beautiful 13 month old daughter who is the love of my life! My son is now married to a wonderful woman who is the best daughter-in-law I could ever ask for. They are ex...	cdb19	3	396	Dec 6, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	The hunting trip (Dad and son) (Preview) forgot to tell ya'll ... The hunting trip was everything I had hoped it to be for my son and his Dad. Lots of talking and walking in the woods together. A lot of male bonding with with extended family members. But the VERY BEST thing was that out of the 9 guys that had been been going to the cabin for the past 25...	Christy	6	596	Dec 6, 2008 by Christy
	Update on Weggie (Preview) Just to let everyone know, I really appreciate this board as I sometimes am not able to go to a f to f meetings. I blew up again at my A this weeknd and said some things I shouldn't but can't take them back. I do have him thinking about what I said as he comes back with some comments about that night. I...	weggie	2	349	Dec 5, 2008 by Jennifer
	Round3 (Preview) Has anyone heard from Round3? I haven't seen a post since her A returned and just wanted to see how she was doing...	Codependent	2	424	Dec 5, 2008 by Codependent
	serious question (Preview) I am curious, not being a poop. Really am questioning this. Christmas is a man made holiday,a socalled religious holiday celebrated by some Christians, not all. Not saying socalled to mean anything than some call it as..... AA and Alanon are not to support any religion. So why is this appropriate? We...	debilyn	17	680	Dec 5, 2008 by cookie1971
	another sly night (Preview) hopelessly devouted to crap..i am...the crap of an alcoholic girlfriend drunk dialing at two innthe morning and six in the morning while i have to get up for work the ringer was off but i heard her calling me in a dream...fearful...and the dream woke me up and i saw her calls...i called back to check up on...	charlescharles	1	363	Dec 5, 2008 by maresie
	Should I still try to apologize... (Preview) If you read my last post you know I over called my A last night. Said things like I want to be a family, can't get past this, blah blah. Anyway, I left a message and text this morning to say I am sorry for this. I still feel the need to actually talk to him so that I can feel less ashamed of the messages I left. ...	Codependent	9	674	Dec 5, 2008 by glad lee
	Any ESH to get thru tonite, please! (Preview) As you all know, my AH is doing outpatient treatment as part of a plea bargain w/the court where if completed his charge will be dropped down to a misdemeanor. He agreed to this while he was sober (after he almost died, then went to rehab). He relapsed last month and has been drinking almost daily (15 -3...	queenie105	8	565	Dec 5, 2008 by jewely
	Update (Preview) So the teen daughter got kicked out of the group home one week after going in. She is now on the caseload of the juvenile justice people and if she doesn't straighten up this time it's off to boot camp and they only take them for a year. So I'm seriously hoping that she straightens up and quick! She has be...	carolinagirl	4	429	Dec 5, 2008 by Loupiness
	Hello- new mom of an addict here :) (Preview) Hello everyone, I'm new here. My 19 yr old son is a drug addict. I won't bore you with the full story of the past 3 years. In a nut shell, due to drug use my son has had psych ward stays, a suicide attempt (this after his best friend committed suicide), violence, drug dealing, car crashes, arrests, ect......	Beach girl	4	937	Dec 5, 2008 by Sandy123
	The Shack (Preview) Hi (((Family))) Coming off a couple of days of being sick..again..ugh. Return of the Stomach Virus! shudder shudder I took the opportunity to read a book. I picked this book up the other day at Costco. I like "scarey" stories, and the cover of this book shows a rickety old shack surrou...	david62	7	474	Dec 5, 2008 by Peggy7
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.