The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am frustrated again ,angry and I feel hopeless AGAIN. I presently got married (May 3rd) to the guy I always knew he is the ONE . We been together for about 8 years and I always knew he had a drinking problem. He likes to drink on the weekends ONLY . He doesn't just drink ,he gets wasted. I am reading some of these blogs and I feel like my life is being described by other people. Everything is soooo similar ... I spent another weekend being miserable because he came home wasted on Saturday and then he wakes up and expects me to be the sweet wife !! In the mean time i did not get any sleep ,waiting for him to get home safe and when he does get home ,I am sooo angry I cant sleep. I feel he is destroying our new lifes together because all we do is fight about his drinking. We fight on Sunday and then we spend all week trying to make up. Its draining me mentally .I don't know what to do I feel like our relationship is going down the drain.
you are in the right place. Whatever happens recovering from his alcoholism will help you.
I hope you stick around, get some literature, start going to meetings,they have two a day here. Immerse yourself in this program, you'll learn new tools. They will help, whatever you do they will help.
Thank you so much for your replies. It feels really good knowing I am not on my own out here. I feel like I dont want to go home tonight because I dont want to spent another night in silence ,both being angry at each other
You are not alone...that is true. We may have walked some different trails but we have all used the same shoes. Alcoholism affects everyone it comes into contact with and after time with program we see it as predict- able and are able to restructure and save our own lives. That is what the world-wide fellowship of the Al-Anon Family Groups is all about. Yes what you have been going thru is going on all over the world. The AFG is over 60 years old and founded by the wives of the founders of AA. Not so coincidental huh?
I am glad you are here. Your pain echos my own before I got here and on my second try I decided to stay and see if I could rescue my own sanity and life. You don't ever have to be stuck in the insanity again if you stick with this program. Look in the white pages of your local telephone book for Al-Anon and call that number. Find out the places and times for the meetings in your area and go. Take an open mind with you and leave your fear at the door. Also follow the suggestion regarding literature. The program has lots of it and most of it free pamphlets.
Keep coming back here also and checking in with family.
Welcome to the MIP family. Here you will find great experience, hope, strength, wisdom and just a touch of humor (good for the ). You are not alone here. We've all been there. I can understand your anger, frustration and all the other emotions that go along with this awful the disease.
The beauty of this program is that we can go on with our lives, regardless if our A chooses sobriety or not. It's about living our life the way we want to. It's about taking back our life and living it in the way we so richly deserve. Instead of waiting around all weekend for him to come home, why not take that opportunity to find a local meeting? You will be surprised at how good you will feel. Alanon will teach you so much. It will give you tools to handle anything that comes your way. This program saved my life along with countless others. Love and blessings to you and your family. Please keep coming back to us.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty <-- the cat
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Maria, Welcome to the MIP family so glad you found us.
Well first I think the best thing to tell you is the Al-anon 3 C's. You didn't Cause his drinking! You can't Control his drinking! And you can't Cure his drinking!
The thing about Al-anon is that we learn to focus on us and take the focus off of our addicited loved one.
I know for me the more I focused on my husbands addictions the more angry I became. I was lonely and frustrated, but coming to alanon taught me to put things in there true perspective (paraphrased from our meeting opening).
I started doing things for me. Going to meetings. Talking with people who really understood what I was going through. We have meetings twice a day here and they are extremely helpful. Find a local meeting in your area to attend. Posting on the board helps a lot.
The most important thing is keep coming back.
Yours in recovery, Mandy
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"We are not punished for our unforgiveness, we are punished by it" Jim Stovall
I'm also pretty new here and not quite strong enough myself to give any advice, but I had to answer the post because we have a similar background. I'm recently married (July) but have been with my AH for 9 years. I knew (or thoght I knew) exactly what I was getting into when I married him. My eyes were (Ithought) wide open! Things went from bad to worse for a while. But I've been lucky...I found Al Anon (through group meetings with him). I thought it would teach me how to help him! Wrong! It's teaching me how to help myself! I wish I had known about this 9 years ago!
! In my case, my AH is really trying to work his program and is very supportive of me working mine! I slipped a week ago. Found myself falling into the same old patterns. This forum, as well as a few f to f meetings I went to really helped me...and can help you too! Don't be hard on yourself, cut yourself some slack...keep coming back and going to f to f meetings if you can. I found the slogans stated out loud over and over really help! One day at a time..it works if you work it...progress not perfection...
Here you will find great experience, hope, strength, wisdom and just a touch of humor (good for the 
).
Love and blessings to you and your family. Please keep coming back to us.