The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Woke up this morning and it was like a lightbulb went off in my head after a month of heck on earth........Why would I want someone in my life that doesn't want to be there??????? And if A EBF can't "let go" of all the stuff that he says he "doesn't hold against me" (which I still think is a contradiction in itself) then he isn't the person I thought he was to begin with so WHY would I want that for me and my son???? Why did it take me sooo long and sooo many tears and sleepless nights to get to this point????? Is this what letting go feels like???? thanks for letting me share Shelly
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
I was just sharing about this last night. One day I too just finally let go of the struggle of trying to convince someone else that what I want is right for them too.
I let go of the denial.
Ex-wife wanted to be out of marriage. Had for a couple of years. I wasn't ready until I was ready either. I asked myself those questions too. Why would I want someone that doesn't want me anymore?
By this point in the marriage I have to honestly answer one thing now. Fear.
Fear of the unknown. Fear of what my life was going to be without my wife.
Letting go for me was like surrendering. No more fight. Just surrender and acceptance of what was. The reality of the situation.
Scary? Yes. Sad? Yes. Painful? Absolutely.
Freeing? Yes. Return of Self Esteem? Yes. Necessary to My own growth, maturity and Happiness! Again, Absolutely!
Keep coming back, Shelly, as Jerry said, more will be revealed!
Shelly, With this program I can now laugh at things that used to absolutely drive me insane. It was like arrows coming from all directions. Some I was able to dodge, most hit stuck and hurt. The arrows still come but they miss their target more often than not. If they do hit now and stick I have the Al-Anon tools to remove them.
Letting go or fighting a losing battle with this disease, easy choice!!
"Why did it take me sooo long and sooo many tears and sleepless nights to get to this point????? "
Because recovery takes time. Recovery is growth and healing. It is not instant. Tomatoes don't grow in a day and neither do we.
Keep coming back, Hon. This is only the beginning ;)
In recovery,
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
