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Focus on Recovery - What it means to you
(Preview)
(Another oldie.... *smile*... and yes, I'm still learning!) Was reading another post elsewhere and got to thinking about what recovery means to me. What the purpose of my recovery is. Basically for me, it is to get my own life back. To feel good about me, about my family, how we live, how we interact, an...
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kismetstrand
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1
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473
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busy couple weeks ahead
(Preview)
Hello everyone, Just a note to check in and explain I will be spending alot of time at work, and in the hospital for a couple weeks. I wish I could be here instead I hope everyone is doing well, and enjoying the holiday preparation! Be back as soon as I can. Jen
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Jennifer
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2
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370
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New Addition
(Preview)
Hi all, :) We are so excited in my home. I have changed my avatar to show you all the new addition to the family. Her name is Mia and we expect her to join us in early January. :) Mandy -- Edited by Mandy123 at 13:04, 2008-12-15 hehe now I figured out how to attach a pic :) -- Edited by Mandy123 at 13:15, 2008-12-...
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Mandy123
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4
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476
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recovering alcoholic husband leaving me
(Preview)
hello.... this is my first post here. i need help. i am the daughter and wife of alcoholics. my husband was in aa when i met him and has never relapsed we have been together for 6 years and married for 4 months but everything has come crashing down. directly after the honeymoon he decided i was 'controllin...
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helpme14
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12
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7493
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How My HP Works
(Preview)
I think I need one of those smilies that's half smile/half crying. Or maybe just The very first post I did here I talked about how afraid to go to face to face meetings because of some ugly things I percieved happened to me. For a while, there's been no pull, no guilt, no fear that I was missing out. Just ove...
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JenM
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7
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491
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We got us here a Birthday Girl - Peggy77
(Preview)
(((((((((((MyPeggy))))))))))))))), I am hoping memory serves me correctly but if it does I am wishing you a wonderful, magical birthday. I hope you have an awesome day. Today is clearly a "spoil Peggy" day. Happy Birthday my beautiful friend, love Maria
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Maria123
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6
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542
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pre-meeting questions
(Preview)
so i wandered onto this forum after my son had called me from the mental hospital to say terrible tihngs to me. i jumped right in the chatbox, having an idea of what al-anon is for... i might've been wrong. i'm all out of ideas on coping with the kid's constant drug and alcohol abuse and needed (still need)...
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ruejacobs
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4
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618
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Is any one out there??????
(Preview)
Is it me or am I missing something?? Do I need to be a "member" or something to get acknowledged on this site? This is the very reason I don't attend Al Anon. I feel like a number. Every time I try to attend I get the same old spill - nobody is allowed to share their personal experiences, only &...
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peace2me
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8
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514
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Double Winner Suspecting Partner
(Preview)
I am a double winner, in both programs,...AA and Al-Anon. I am 7 and a half months sober and my boyfriend is 5 and a half months sober. We actually both joined AA at the same time and since then, he has relapsed. Of course we have both lied to one another about each other's vices but a couple of nights ago,...
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libitinarian
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8
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668
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FYI on F to F meeting
(Preview)
Good Afternoon to all: What a wonderful and enlighting couple of f to f meetings I have attended in the last month. Last night we talked about Facing Reality---WOW---very powerful. Everyone took a turn and read out of How AL-Alon Works, new book and love it. When it came to me I read That it isn't ea...
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weggie
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3
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523
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I create an illusion/fantasy totally on my own w/o even realizing it! How nuts is that?!
(Preview)
OK, so I am seeing it. But just now!Why do I create illusion? My mind just goes down this path and totally and completely makes this story up. one that is not based in ANY kind of reality.I project an entire saga onto someone. Me with this person, this well appointed saga. All sorts of details.And th...
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Jean4444
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8
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655
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newbie here...
(Preview)
Hi all. Im new here and really need some es&h. I have been married to my H for 13 yrs. He is what most would call a dry drunk. He has not had a drink in 12 yrs, however, his behavior has not changed a lot since then. He is quite selfish and irresponsible. He has had court issues which were recently finished...
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Lyndie
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6
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536
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creepy dream
(Preview)
Last night I had a dream that a helicopter landed in my front yard and an emergency medical crew brought my AH out on a stretcher. They loaded up and left, with me calling out "wait, you're supposed to take him with you!" My AH went in the house and proceeded to behave like a drunken madman. I too...
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RainyJamie
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8
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519
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follow up
(Preview)
Well since yesterday didn't go so well I just had to share this. My Abfsober left a little while ago. I don't know but maybe he is going to an AA meeting. He has not been to one in a while. If he is going, I'm guessing he did drink yesterday but even if he did not, I am feeling some relief. Meetings have always be...
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buick23
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4
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398
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Struggling not to hate, and to let go of anger/resentments
(Preview)
I know what hating an ex did to my life before and how it did more harm to me than him, but again I find myself trying to fight the anger/resentments I feel toward Ex ABF. He has excepted no responsibilty for the way things are, has not once said he is sorry, and continues to tell me he is working on him fro...
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shellyj123
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8
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1657
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maresie
(Preview)
So how was Evelyn's anniversary? Did you get any feedback from those who were there?
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Christy
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1
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369
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In every cloud is a silver lining . . .
(Preview)
Lots of us here in the Northeast, at least Taxachusetts particularly and where I live, got hit by an ice storm which downed the trees and electric lines. I am fortunate enough to have gotten my electricity back late yesterday but my boy's home will be down for about 4 days. The silver lining is that they...
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Maria123
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8
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445
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acceptance
(Preview)
I think I'm finally there! I just spent the last 3 weeks so sad...so miserable because he was still rejecting me. Still saying he wants to be w/ me and loves me but wouldn't answer my calls, ignored my emails and did not answer the door. He hasn't even once asked to see his daughter in almost a mth! Luckily s...
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soconfused
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2
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487
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that all so familiar uncomfortable feeling
(Preview)
I wasn't going to post this, but I know everyone understands these things and I always feel better after posting. Well, my Abfsober has been gone all day with his friend with the exeption of coming home for lunch for an hour. I am upset and have this all so familiar bad feeling. I remember the times when he...
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buick23
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7
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695
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Lani
(Preview)
Hi - sorry I missed you in the room, i saw you login but I was away from the computer, how are you?
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Robinks
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0
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271
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I set myself up again...
(Preview)
to fail and fall and feel like crap. Denial is such a seductive thing, isn't it? The imaginary is so wonderful and so tempting! I need to grieve. A loss. Another loss. Chalk it up. Keep on keeping on. Process the feelings. I don't even have to go into the details of what happened because its the bro...
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Jean4444
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16
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656
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yelling, screaming, tantruming....
(Preview)
...and I think there may have been smoke coming our her ears, but I stayed as cool as a cucumber. Yes, I did. Yay! for me. My 11.5 yr old daughter wanted her dad to pick her up at 9:00 last night after his programs to help her with her math. She wants time with him, more than the help, and I understand the ne...
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Loupiness
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9
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634
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hard time understanding something
(Preview)
In the rooms we talk about feelings alot. I hear many who have been around say things to the effect of 'what is your part in how you feel? or my feelings are my own problem." I don't understand how feeling my feelings is a bad thing. I cannot casually brush off my h's behavior like it doesn't bother me,...
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Lyndie
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6
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546
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Trying again....
(Preview)
Hello again, the last time I posted here was in October. I talked about giving my AH a choice. Well, as you all probably could guess and know, that didn't work out. I begged off giving the choice in the end. I said I'd be back to post but then I became hesitant. In the meantime I've been reading literatur...
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madmom
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6
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452
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My own worst enemy
(Preview)
As I told you last weekend the A had called to go out and then we didn't. Well, last night we did and what a disaster! I cried all night in front of him and today as well. Alcohol was involved for both of us- and yes I have now accepted that alcohol is a problem for me as well. I really am not looking for pity he...
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Codependent
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7
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667
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hard time understanding something
(Preview)
In the rooms we talk about feelings alot. I hear many who have been around say things to the effect of 'what is your part in how you feel? or my feelings are my own problem." I don't understand how feeling my feelings is a bad thing. I cannot casually brush off my h's behavior like it doesn't bother me,...
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Lyndie
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3
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435
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Life is a little better!
(Preview)
Just a short note to say that my life is getting better--day by day. I am living a fairly good life with my husband again. We have been under the same roof since October--not a long time but great! We have interesting mornings some- times but that's because I am still not a morning person. I am so happy for...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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427
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Book an boundaries and detachment
(Preview)
I'm searching for books on boundaries and detachment. I have the ones from Melodie Beattie and one from Pia Mellody. Is there any other suggestions? I like basic and simple. After all it takes me a while to catch onto things!!!! I've been working on detachment - it's a good thing. I'm amazed that n...
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slowlearner
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1
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643
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Introduction, any Buddhists out there?
(Preview)
Hello. I am new to Al Anon. Been going to my "home" group for about 2 months. Taking it slow. Absorbing. I don't have a sponsor yet, but am waiting for that to happen organically for me. I'm doing reading, but haven't started working the steps. I am not a Buddhist, but am certainly not a Ch...
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deniseminh
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6
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2152
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Happy Birthday!!!!
(Preview)
Happy Birthday to our lovely and talented Danz!!! Happy 29th my love!!! Love, SenoraBob
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bob6502
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5
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410
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a sense of relief about Christmas
(Preview)
Christmas and the holiday season has a way of making everything more intense, more dramatic. Even before the years of dysfunctional family problems and our health issues, the season often had some tensions and some unhappy things associated with the activities. I have often overcome these thing...
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joyoma
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7
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595
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Obliterated Boundaries
(Preview)
I've been feeling pretty good the past couple of weeks, I guess it was time to test my recovery last night. The past few weeks, one of my boundaries has been to sleep in another room if my AH has been drinking as he tends to wake me up in the middle of the night with his monologues and diatribes. This usually...
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blender_girl
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7
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940
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holly jolly Christmas
(Preview)
There has been a little drama about christmas plans in my family this year. In Sept my brother "called" thanksgiving meaning he said he wanted our dinner to be at a certain time to accomodate his schedule and ask if that was okay- so fine no problem I just said my daughters would like Christma...
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glad
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4
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567
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Feeling Sad Tonight....
(Preview)
My AS is not doing well, and I am not doing well, I have these overwhelming feelings of despair, especially when he visits and he not high and he is more like the son I know, and then "boom" he reappears as the person I don't know anymore, and I go back in my mind to better days and how I long to see hi...
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DreamsOver
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6
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564
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Grateful
(Preview)
For 20 yrs. Christmas has been been a difficult time for me. Twenty yrs. ago I had a beautiful daughter, born Dec. 3, died on January 9th. We shared only one Christmas. From then on I allowed it to change all the rest. I have pictures of me holding her while she stared at the sparkling tree. She would have be...
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Christy
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7
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578
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I teach people how to treat me
(Preview)
Last week, I was asked by my manager, to cover a shift on Sunday. (This was a huge favor to ask.) I agreed to cover HALF the shift only. She was very grateful and said she would cover the second half, replacing me by 2:00. Well, 2:05 rolls around and I'm ready to go, but she's not there. Another employee,...
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glad lee
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5
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1120
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more on moving on
(Preview)
As you all know its certainly pretty difficult for me to get on with my roommates. Tomorrow one of my roommates is one year sober. She's been going to court diverted classes for a year now and had had mandatory drug tests week in week out. Somehow someway she made the choice to stay clean, through ill...
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maresie
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6
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526
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Memorable holidays with little funds ... share ideas,memories please
(Preview)
Hello all, While reading a post I had a thought. This year my first living alone ever and having my income level drop along with all the economics going on is going to be different than other years. I've decided I am sending holiday cards to our fellow MIPs, and getting something special for my nephew's f...
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Jennifer
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4
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494
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Striking up the Band to a tune called "Making Amends"
(Preview)
Hi (((Family))) Not sure what is up with me lately, but I have been having the most vivid dreams just prior to time for me to get up in the morning. Some good, some bad, some just plain weird!! The latest one was very good. I was in the school band from 6th grade thru graduation from High School. For the fir...
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david62
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7
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717
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letting go
(Preview)
I think its taken me a full 7 years to let go of the A. Of course this task was helped immensely by learning detachment. Nowadys I try to work on letting go of resentment, things I have no control over. The more I let go the better things are. Of course like anything else i have to practice that all the time...
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maresie
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5
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509
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new on this site and a newlywed
(Preview)
Hello I am frustrated again ,angry and I feel hopeless AGAIN. I presently got married (May 3rd) to the guy I always knew he is the ONE . We been together for about 8 years and I always knew he had a drinking problem. He likes to drink on the weekends ONLY . He doesn't just drink ,he gets wasted. I am reading...
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Angry
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7
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660
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rtexas
(Preview)
rt where are you? yours in recovery, Mandy
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Mandy123
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3
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323
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gads it has to be a joke...hard knocks
(Preview)
Doctor said you are not depressed, you're tired. Lets see, doing another loan mod. Go see my main house, it is a total mess, most cosmetic. They lived there almost two years with a deal of $150 off the rent to do upkeep and repair. Not even a lightbulb was changed when it blew out. Furnace filter was horri...
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debilyn
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6
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609
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bored and lonely alone
(Preview)
i'm tired...i'm tired of being the whipping boy...feel like i really aient got no one to talk with...other people laying their problems on y head....feel alone...a bit tortured and tired tv don't work and generally i feel a bit disconnected went to a grea meeting tonight..but like the drugs i used to...
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charlescharles
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5
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598
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bah humbug...
(Preview)
Hi Friends, The posts here have been so great lately. I have been plugging along each day. A bit concerned that my ODAT attitude may actually be denial. Thought I had the holidays all handled, emotionally that is. I really wasn't too stressed, for I realized that they always come and always go, and thi...
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Loupiness
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9
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540
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HELP!!!!!!
(Preview)
Hi all I an in needof help. My ah is out of the house and has filed cousdty papers on the 15 and 18 year old child. tomarrow is the court date and up til now he has been telling me and the childern that they need to be there. He got a letter today from his A Couseler today that was less then in his faviter and I thin...
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smileycat
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6
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550
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rtexas
(Preview)
rt where are you? yours in recovery, Mandy
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Mandy123
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1
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385
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court
(Preview)
Hi All Court when we both have joint cous for now until a law guarding can talk to her. But I am so madat how easy I just roll over and play died and let him get the things that he wants from me. I know that we have been separated for only three week and it is hard to stop old habits. He was so sweet talking to a...
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smileycat
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2
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297
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Letting go-is this what it feels like????
(Preview)
Woke up this morning and it was like a lightbulb went off in my head after a month of heck on earth........Why would I want someone in my life that doesn't want to be there??????? And if A EBF can't "let go" of all the stuff that he says he "doesn't hold against me" (which I still th...
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shellyj123
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9
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527
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turning a corner
(Preview)
when I first came into this program I had no idea what I was doing to bring me into such chaos. I really viewed myself as a caring, loving, giving person. I saw many of the issues as being the A's. His drug use, his irresponsibility, his chaos. Over time and I'd had a few years into this program I've come to...
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maresie
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4
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299
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Need your esh on this one
(Preview)
Help me out with this one. My oldest son got out of the military in Sept. with wife and grandbaby. He said we are moving in with you and I am going to school. I said fine - wow more time with my grandbaby. After a week he said they were moving in with her mother. I said fine - at least it is close and I would get to se...
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nmike
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8
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588
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The best gift
(Preview)
I have received such a great gift from this program! I remember when I first came here, scared, alone, bitter, angry, full of resentment, disappointed, feeling as if my life was over. And in fact, life as I knew it was over. It took many bumps in the road along the way but I would never have known how tru...
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carolinagirl
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3
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312
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second time round
(Preview)
after 15 years in program I stopped going to meetings. I had seen the miricles happen and enjoyed a lovely peaceful life. now i am back and at 55 years, it seems like a long haul
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robyn
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8
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521
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A sad note
(Preview)
Hi all, I was re-reading some old stuff and I posted this about 3 years ago. Hope it makes ya smile. Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 7...
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Mandy123
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6
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456
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Getting sucked in all over again
(Preview)
OK AH had to walk to the store tonight to return a video. He was already acting strange, sort of detached...getting on my nerves. I thought about offering him a ride because it is raining off and on. But I didn't. He left and a little while later I had to do somethings, so I figured I'd drive by the store and s...
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RainyJamie
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3
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659
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Family rebelling against my practicing detachment
(Preview)
I have been practicing detachment for about a month now, and my family is rebelling against this idea. I have been trying to do things to improve my outlook on life and the way I live. Such as not caretaking as much and letting my daughters take care of themselves more (They are 18 and 20) they are begin...
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slowlearner
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6
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998
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I have figured it out.
(Preview)
He is half drunk much of the time lately. Half drunk and defensive. I would like to be able to kick him to the curb, even though I love the man he is when he is sober. I have had enough drinking, promising, drinking, promising. He lies; he drinks; he promises; All too familiar isn't it? But now I have...
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Diva
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17
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673
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I'm new here
(Preview)
I don't know if I'm using this forum in the right way but I guess I'll just go ahead anyway. I need to describe what I am going through and try to get some help because I am at an all time low. I've been crying many times a day this past week as things in my home have gotten increasingly worse. I have always ha...
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erinleigh06
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13
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472
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The holidays
(Preview)
I realized this year I just don't have a thing planned for the holidays, and that is fine with me! No little ones around anymore, and I'm even late on decorating because of college classes, but that's okay. I do enjoy decorating the interior of the house, and will just leave it up later this season. We had...
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Tenderheartsks
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3
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346
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Packing, moving, breathing and praying
(Preview)
It was a different Thanksgiving for me this year - I spent the first night in my new rent house. Sleeping on an inflatable bed that didn't hold air, in an older house with absolutely nothing - it was the most wonderful thing I had done in a long, long time. Then Friday, I moved my belongings and my 1/2 of th...
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Rita G
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8
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637
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