Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Christmas is almost here and this year I am finding it to be more difficult (emotionally) than other years. So much has changed in my life over the past year, some good, and some bad. I miss the people that I have lost in my life; either from death or because of choice. Yet I am so thankful for the relations...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I need your help. It is not a crisis, but I am getting frustrated. This year, instead of "usual" gifts, I am giving donations in people's names. For those who are in my AA/Al Anon family, I was *trying* to donate directly to World Service Office, and am finding myself running into walls. I s...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well I made it through Step 5, and thought for sure I'd have a heart attack before hand-lol......I was certain NO ONE could understand, or not judge the insanity of my past. I mean I have judged me for years, why would another not? But thanks to the best sponser a girl could have, I made it through with...

buick23 · buick23

Well, same ole, same ole. Nothing is changing, guess I need to change things for myself. The bf and I did drive around some together earlier today. Then, later on he leaves again for 5 hours. I went to the store just to get out of the house, and when I returned, we got into an argument. He tells me he was at his...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

My home group meeting room is so COLD, everything white or some shade of white. We are seriously considering painting and cleaning to make the room more homey instead of so sterile. The floor which is the only thing that has any color at all in it is a tile that is shades of grey...another sterile non de...

madmom · madmom

Hi everyone! I'm having a good week and wanted to post that I feel happy . I don't fully understand why I feel happy but, this the first "happy" I've felt in the last six months since I got married and came to the realization that I married an A. I shared for the first time on an online meeting las...

peace2me · peace2me

I feel like I have basically done the same thing over and over again - only each time I get a little more serious about ending my marriage with my A. Of couse there have always been complaints about his bad behavior, and these complaints work for a time but he always goes right back to his old ways. It snea...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I will be making lots of meetings this holiday season--we even plan to go to one of our local AA meeting on Christmas Day! It just happens to fall on that day. There probably won't be many people but we will be there to open the door! I will be at a sort of marathon type meeting tonight, too. It will be fun-...

Trinia2 · Trinia2

My AS (possibly bipolar and drug addicted) racked up several court cases in several weeks. He has been incarcerated three times and hospitalized three times in the past 9 weeks. He went to court yesterday and was ordered to get a doctor today, get on meds, not drink or drug, and report to probation dail...

maresie · maresie

I have had a really tough week with the roommates I have. I am certain one of them is now doing crack cocaine. He has become highly aggressive with me. That was one of the hallmarks of my ex A the aggressiveness. There were signs of that on Thanksgiving and I was not perceptive enough to take care of it....

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

My youngest AD had to take me to the ER at 5 this morning. I haven't been that sick in years and thought I was going to die. Some intestinal virus is going around, and I started vomiting and getting diarrhea around 11 last night. I ended up cramping so bad I was crying and had bloody diarrhea. I was on an IV for...

Codependent · Codependent

Tonight I went to my first face to face meeting. It was not an Alanon Meeting. It was a Celebrate Recovery Meeting and then a Codependency small group. I told the group I believed my primary addiction to be to my addict and my secondary to be to alcohol- as a coping mechanism to deal with my codependenc...

helpme08 · helpme08

This is my very first time here. I feel that I need help and I hope to feel a little better after writing this. When my AH drinks, he usually decides to pick a fight (verbal) with me. I usually end up yelling at him back and it goes on and on. We say mean and hurtful things to each other. I don't know wha...

buick23 · buick23

Today I'm having trouble focusing on myself and not the bf. Again, he's gone today. I asked him about why he doesn't want to do things together and he said that I'm always complaining when we are somewhere and I have to stop to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. That really hurt. I wonder if I'm that bad,...

Laurenlou · Laurenlou

Hi all, I am brand new here. I am 23 year old mother of a 2.5 year old daughter. And I am the wife of a drug addict. My husband has been addicted to pain meds for over 3 years. He has been in 5 car accidents (1 of which was very serious and caused the early birth of our daughter) and has 2 DUIs (he would have 1 more, b...

BirdGal · BirdGal

Is this the best message board for the spouse of a recovering addict? Or is there a separate..."nar anon" or something? I know this may seem like a silly question. But I'm new to all of this. And I'm pretty much still reeling from recent events in my life...struggling with how to trust/love/kn...

Jerry F · Jerry F

(((((Luna))))) if you chance to check in? Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and as for me...you're still loved like crazy. Let us know how you are or send a messenger or something. (((((hugs)))))`

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It doesn't matter how or when you celebrate the holiday season; just celebrate! I am trying to not be a Scrooge when it comes to my mother. If she had anywhere else to go, I would suggest it this year! I am still angry at the things she has pulled the last couple of days. Time to turn her over, I guess. My Ah &am...

Lisa11397 · Lisa11397

Hi my name is Lisa I have a history of Alcohalism in my family my husband and MNL are also alcohalics and I need help coping with it. Thank you I'm nervous about this process but I want to be strong for myself and my kids.

Felicia · Felicia

Hi - My name is Felicia and I am new to the board. I have been reading it over while waiting for my membership to kick in. I am so hurt, confused, angry, devasted and carry so much guilt. I have been going to a counselor and she wanted me to check this out as well as a victim of domestic violence group. My story (...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

While driving home from work tonight in an ice storm with lightening flashing and weather forcasts of impending critical conditions...I did something I've never before done. I said a silent prayer stating "I'm going to need your help getting home tonight" as suddenly as the thoughts...

afmom03 · afmom03

Hi there everyone!!! It's been since August I have been able to get into this message board! GRRRRR!! I never know one day to the next when I log out if I'll be able to get back in here! <LOL> I have been reading everyone's posts for months now and it's driving me bonke...

QuVat · QuVat

Well here I am again. After two DUI's, losing her job, and nearly 3 months of hospitlization/rehab my wife and I are living together at home. Unfortunately as we all know things are never that easy and after 5 days together she has gone back to abusing perscription drugs (her first drug of choice is al...

smileycat · smileycat

Hi all I have had a very good day to day. Work is going ok and home live is still the three of us ( myself and the 15g, and 18b) my AH is still at his mothers and not like it but that is his problem. New problem and handleing it? The girl is in chours and having fun but dose not want dad to come see her. I an letting h...

abbyal · abbyal

I could not progress in my own recovery until I learned to focus on MY own recovery. If you want to be original -- be yourself. If we put everything in Gods hands -- Gods hands will be in everything. If you want serenity , put God between you and your problem . The only thing we can change about the past is our a...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

(Another old share from '06) I wandered into the chat room and was looking at the top of the screen where it says "topic" and was then thinking how people come in and ask "whats the topic?" which led me to thinking, gee wouldn't it be fun to have a "today's topic" every da...

hopegrace · hopegrace

Hallo all I havent visited the forum for almost two years. I previously used to attend alanon meetings regularly and i suddenly stoped when i felt better and able to cope with life. Around the same time i broke up with my recovering alcoholic. Just recently he became very interested in me again and want...

Codependent · Codependent

I know this is irrelevant really considering my circumstances, but the A told me he didn't understand why I couldn't be his friend just because he didn't want that kind of relationship with me at this particular time. Just thought I would throw that out as a topic for discussion.

ruejacobs · ruejacobs

ran across the youtube video i made of my son, Gnu, when i was checking up on my account's comments. it made me unbelievably sad just watching it. i miss him so much. -- Edited by ruejacobs at 17:13, 2008-12-16

buick23 · buick23

I am finally getting my focus back. I finished a few things that needed to be done and feel much better. For a major change in my life that is coming up, and I have been stressing about, today I am letting higher power deal with it. My mind seems clear today and hopefully I can accomplish the same tomorrow. I...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

After the past month I can't believe I can even right that I am doing ok with doing nothing and being still....It amazes me.......Now mind ya it's not for very long periods of time and I have to be driving my sponsor crazy at this point, but I can actually FEEL myself being ok. My need to knows still get t...

Codependent · Codependent

Why do I find it so hard to believe that my A's HP loves the A as much as I do? Why do I think I need to intercede on the A's behalf- afraid HP will want to punish the A or "let" him die? Do you think the A has to be receptive to HP in order for HP to work in his life?

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Am getting ready to take the 5th step and was just looking for some ESH from other members.....It seems like every step brings about more changes and clearer senses in me and I guess I am just wondering what to expect next...... thanks for letting me share......

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Destruction. Crashing realities exploding in imperfect landings. Ouch. It's my heart that's breaking, for these have been my fantasies and my world. --Mary Casey We frequently aren't given what we want - whether it's a particular job, a certain relationship, a special talent. But we are always gi...

Lyndie · Lyndie

I got a call from someone in my church and they asked for a list of 4 things each of my family wants for Christmas. I guess there is a company that works with my church that does this each year. (i hope its ok i'm posting this, but its for a reason)So there will be gifts for us, I am so grateful. It shows me that wh...

Trinia2 · Trinia2

My son (21) has been on a binge for four months which resulted in three incarcerations and 2 hospital stays. We have tried everything to get him help, but he has not hit his bottom. He goes back to court Thursday and may get jail time. Anyway, his friends bailed him out on Tuesday and I let him back in the hou...

barisax · barisax

I will try not to go into too much detail. But someone needs prayers right now, several someones that are very special to me. My daughter is facing some health problems that are still undiagnosed, she's functioning but going through odd symptoms and lots of tests. She's in the middle of changing jobs,...

maresie · maresie

I spent 7 years obsessing about the fact the A did not like to help me out when I was "down". Now I'm having to look at underneath that I was not yet ready to learn self preservation. These days I'm getting there, better boundaries, better outlook. I have a terrible head cold that came over m...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

(An old July 2006 share) Tradition 7: Every group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions. When I was new to Al-Anon I didn't pay much mind to the traditions. They seem kinda dry to me and not related to what I needed in trying to make my life manageable once again. Hahaha. Li...

peace2me · peace2me

Married for 14 years. When we met we were each coming out of a divorce. We were not young at that time, but were going through sort of a rebellious stage I guess ou could say. In other words, we were both partying. My habits were temporary - and I assumed his would be under the circumstances - but they we...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

(Forget where I saw this, but liked it!) THE RELAXED APPROACH Step One: RELAX I don't have to be in charge or in control anymore. It's going to be okay. Step Two: RELAX I can simply believe that someone stronger than I can restore me to health and wholeness. Step Three: RELAX I can easily turn my whole life...

soconfused · soconfused

Re: my previous post called acceptance...I have to say that I thought the response to me feeling GOOD about finally being able to say the things and needed to say to A w/out feeling so guilty and sad that it was a good thing? I didn't think I would be told to go to meetings because I'm angry and resentful? I r...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

Thoughts from a June 2006 share.... It is amazing when I look back at how much managing I tried to do of others (people, places, things), not realizing how crazy making this was for me. I remember listening to an older member adding under her breath these words (in parenthesis) to the serenity prayer: G...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

(Another oldie.... *smile*... and yes, I'm still learning!) Was reading another post elsewhere and got to thinking about what recovery means to me. What the purpose of my recovery is. Basically for me, it is to get my own life back. To feel good about me, about my family, how we live, how we interact, an...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello everyone, Just a note to check in and explain I will be spending alot of time at work, and in the hospital for a couple weeks. I wish I could be here instead I hope everyone is doing well, and enjoying the holiday preparation! Be back as soon as I can. Jen

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, :) We are so excited in my home. I have changed my avatar to show you all the new addition to the family. Her name is Mia and we expect her to join us in early January. :) Mandy -- Edited by Mandy123 at 13:04, 2008-12-15 hehe now I figured out how to attach a pic :) -- Edited by Mandy123 at 13:15, 2008-12-...

helpme14 · helpme14

hello.... this is my first post here. i need help. i am the daughter and wife of alcoholics. my husband was in aa when i met him and has never relapsed we have been together for 6 years and married for 4 months but everything has come crashing down. directly after the honeymoon he decided i was 'controllin...

JenM · JenM

I think I need one of those smilies that's half smile/half crying. Or maybe just The very first post I did here I talked about how afraid to go to face to face meetings because of some ugly things I percieved happened to me. For a while, there's been no pull, no guilt, no fear that I was missing out. Just ove...

Maria123 · Maria123

(((((((((((MyPeggy))))))))))))))), I am hoping memory serves me correctly but if it does I am wishing you a wonderful, magical birthday. I hope you have an awesome day. Today is clearly a "spoil Peggy" day. Happy Birthday my beautiful friend, love Maria

ruejacobs · ruejacobs

so i wandered onto this forum after my son had called me from the mental hospital to say terrible tihngs to me. i jumped right in the chatbox, having an idea of what al-anon is for... i might've been wrong. i'm all out of ideas on coping with the kid's constant drug and alcohol abuse and needed (still need)...

peace2me · peace2me

Is it me or am I missing something?? Do I need to be a "member" or something to get acknowledged on this site? This is the very reason I don't attend Al Anon. I feel like a number. Every time I try to attend I get the same old spill - nobody is allowed to share their personal experiences, only &...

libitinarian · libitinarian

I am a double winner, in both programs,...AA and Al-Anon. I am 7 and a half months sober and my boyfriend is 5 and a half months sober. We actually both joined AA at the same time and since then, he has relapsed. Of course we have both lied to one another about each other's vices but a couple of nights ago,...

weggie · weggie

Good Afternoon to all: What a wonderful and enlighting couple of f to f meetings I have attended in the last month. Last night we talked about Facing Reality---WOW---very powerful. Everyone took a turn and read out of How AL-Alon Works, new book and love it. When it came to me I read That it isn't ea...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

OK, so I am seeing it. But just now!Why do I create illusion? My mind just goes down this path and totally and completely makes this story up. one that is not based in ANY kind of reality.I project an entire saga onto someone. Me with this person, this well appointed saga. All sorts of details.And th...

Lyndie · Lyndie

Hi all. Im new here and really need some es&h. I have been married to my H for 13 yrs. He is what most would call a dry drunk. He has not had a drink in 12 yrs, however, his behavior has not changed a lot since then. He is quite selfish and irresponsible. He has had court issues which were recently finished...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

Last night I had a dream that a helicopter landed in my front yard and an emergency medical crew brought my AH out on a stretcher. They loaded up and left, with me calling out "wait, you're supposed to take him with you!" My AH went in the house and proceeded to behave like a drunken madman. I too...

buick23 · buick23

Well since yesterday didn't go so well I just had to share this. My Abfsober left a little while ago. I don't know but maybe he is going to an AA meeting. He has not been to one in a while. If he is going, I'm guessing he did drink yesterday but even if he did not, I am feeling some relief. Meetings have always be...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I know what hating an ex did to my life before and how it did more harm to me than him, but again I find myself trying to fight the anger/resentments I feel toward Ex ABF. He has excepted no responsibilty for the way things are, has not once said he is sorry, and continues to tell me he is working on him fro...

Christy · Christy

So how was Evelyn's anniversary? Did you get any feedback from those who were there?

Maria123 · Maria123

Lots of us here in the Northeast, at least Taxachusetts particularly and where I live, got hit by an ice storm which downed the trees and electric lines. I am fortunate enough to have gotten my electricity back late yesterday but my boy's home will be down for about 4 days. The silver lining is that they...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Do the holidays make anyone else wonder what an EX A is doing? (Preview) Christmas is almost here and this year I am finding it to be more difficult (emotionally) than other years. So much has changed in my life over the past year, some good, and some bad. I miss the people that I have lost in my life; either from death or because of choice. Yet I am so thankful for the relations...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	5	517	Dec 22, 2008 by glad lee
	Donation Frustration (Preview) I need your help. It is not a crisis, but I am getting frustrated. This year, instead of "usual" gifts, I am giving donations in people's names. For those who are in my AA/Al Anon family, I was trying to donate directly to World Service Office, and am finding myself running into walls. I s...	Tiger2006	2	637	Dec 21, 2008 by Karilynn
	Step 5-Feeling new....... (Preview) Well I made it through Step 5, and thought for sure I'd have a heart attack before hand-lol......I was certain NO ONE could understand, or not judge the insanity of my past. I mean I have judged me for years, why would another not? But thanks to the best sponser a girl could have, I made it through with...	shellyj123	1	444	Dec 21, 2008 by Jen
	fed up (Preview) Well, same ole, same ole. Nothing is changing, guess I need to change things for myself. The bf and I did drive around some together earlier today. Then, later on he leaves again for 5 hours. I went to the store just to get out of the house, and when I returned, we got into an argument. He tells me he was at his...	buick23	3	481	Dec 21, 2008 by Jen
	Decor in F2F meetings (Preview) My home group meeting room is so COLD, everything white or some shade of white. We are seriously considering painting and cleaning to make the room more homey instead of so sterile. The floor which is the only thing that has any color at all in it is a tile that is shades of grey...another sterile non de...	Mobirdie	12	519	Dec 21, 2008 by Jen
	Having a good week! (Preview) Hi everyone! I'm having a good week and wanted to post that I feel happy . I don't fully understand why I feel happy but, this the first "happy" I've felt in the last six months since I got married and came to the realization that I married an A. I shared for the first time on an online meeting las...	madmom	4	454	Dec 21, 2008 by madmom
	I'm seeing a pattern (Preview) I feel like I have basically done the same thing over and over again - only each time I get a little more serious about ending my marriage with my A. Of couse there have always been complaints about his bad behavior, and these complaints work for a time but he always goes right back to his old ways. It snea...	peace2me	24	807	Dec 21, 2008 by Christy
	Meetings meetings & more meetings! (Preview) I will be making lots of meetings this holiday season--we even plan to go to one of our local AA meeting on Christmas Day! It just happens to fall on that day. There probably won't be many people but we will be there to open the door! I will be at a sort of marathon type meeting tonight, too. It will be fun-...	Hoot Nanny	1	380	Dec 21, 2008 by ddub
	Feel So Despondent (Preview) My AS (possibly bipolar and drug addicted) racked up several court cases in several weeks. He has been incarcerated three times and hospitalized three times in the past 9 weeks. He went to court yesterday and was ordered to get a doctor today, get on meds, not drink or drug, and report to probation dail...	Trinia2	3	409	Dec 20, 2008 by DreamsOver
	another level of insight (Preview) I have had a really tough week with the roommates I have. I am certain one of them is now doing crack cocaine. He has become highly aggressive with me. That was one of the hallmarks of my ex A the aggressiveness. There were signs of that on Thanksgiving and I was not perceptive enough to take care of it....	maresie	4	600	Dec 20, 2008 by maresie
	Could use some healing thoughts... (Preview) My youngest AD had to take me to the ER at 5 this morning. I haven't been that sick in years and thought I was going to die. Some intestinal virus is going around, and I started vomiting and getting diarrhea around 11 last night. I ended up cramping so bad I was crying and had bloody diarrhea. I was on an IV for...	Tenderheartsks	10	534	Dec 20, 2008 by Jean4444
	Went to my first face to face (Preview) Tonight I went to my first face to face meeting. It was not an Alanon Meeting. It was a Celebrate Recovery Meeting and then a Codependency small group. I told the group I believed my primary addiction to be to my addict and my secondary to be to alcohol- as a coping mechanism to deal with my codependenc...	Codependent	8	4526	Dec 20, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	My first time (Preview) This is my very first time here. I feel that I need help and I hope to feel a little better after writing this. When my AH drinks, he usually decides to pick a fight (verbal) with me. I usually end up yelling at him back and it goes on and on. We say mean and hurtful things to each other. I don't know wha...	helpme08	5	554	Dec 20, 2008 by Lisa11397
	failing to keep the focus on myself (Preview) Today I'm having trouble focusing on myself and not the bf. Again, he's gone today. I asked him about why he doesn't want to do things together and he said that I'm always complaining when we are somewhere and I have to stop to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. That really hurt. I wonder if I'm that bad,...	buick23	5	1180	Dec 20, 2008 by Jean4444
	New here... (Preview) Hi all, I am brand new here. I am 23 year old mother of a 2.5 year old daughter. And I am the wife of a drug addict. My husband has been addicted to pain meds for over 3 years. He has been in 5 car accidents (1 of which was very serious and caused the early birth of our daughter) and has 2 DUIs (he would have 1 more, b...	Laurenlou	9	687	Dec 20, 2008 by faithhopelove
	Newbie Question (Preview) Is this the best message board for the spouse of a recovering addict? Or is there a separate..."nar anon" or something? I know this may seem like a silly question. But I'm new to all of this. And I'm pretty much still reeling from recent events in my life...struggling with how to trust/love/kn...	BirdGal	10	532	Dec 20, 2008 by faithhopelove
	Where is Lunamoth!! (Preview) (((((Luna))))) if you chance to check in? Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and as for me...you're still loved like crazy. Let us know how you are or send a messenger or something. (((((hugs)))))`	Jerry F	0	356	Dec 19, 2008 by Jerry F
	Just a quickie! (Preview) It doesn't matter how or when you celebrate the holiday season; just celebrate! I am trying to not be a Scrooge when it comes to my mother. If she had anywhere else to go, I would suggest it this year! I am still angry at the things she has pulled the last couple of days. Time to turn her over, I guess. My Ah &am...	Hoot Nanny	1	357	Dec 19, 2008 by Jerry F
	New to this. (Preview) Hi my name is Lisa I have a history of Alcohalism in my family my husband and MNL are also alcohalics and I need help coping with it. Thank you I'm nervous about this process but I want to be strong for myself and my kids.	Lisa11397	10	525	Dec 19, 2008 by Lisa11397
	new and not handling things well (Preview) Hi - My name is Felicia and I am new to the board. I have been reading it over while waiting for my membership to kick in. I am so hurt, confused, angry, devasted and carry so much guilt. I have been going to a counselor and she wanted me to check this out as well as a victim of domestic violence group. My story (...	Felicia	0	324	Dec 19, 2008 by Felicia
	AhHa Moment (Preview) While driving home from work tonight in an ice storm with lightening flashing and weather forcasts of impending critical conditions...I did something I've never before done. I said a silent prayer stating "I'm going to need your help getting home tonight" as suddenly as the thoughts...	Peggy7	4	577	Dec 19, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	Just in Case.... (Preview) Hi there everyone!!! It's been since August I have been able to get into this message board! GRRRRR!! I never know one day to the next when I log out if I'll be able to get back in here! <LOL> I have been reading everyone's posts for months now and it's driving me bonke...	afmom03	2	555	Dec 19, 2008 by Jerry F
	Now what? (Preview) Well here I am again. After two DUI's, losing her job, and nearly 3 months of hospitlization/rehab my wife and I are living together at home. Unfortunately as we all know things are never that easy and after 5 days together she has gone back to abusing perscription drugs (her first drug of choice is al...	QuVat	4	564	Dec 19, 2008 by Jerry F
	semihappy today (Preview) Hi all I have had a very good day to day. Work is going ok and home live is still the three of us ( myself and the 15g, and 18b) my AH is still at his mothers and not like it but that is his problem. New problem and handleing it? The girl is in chours and having fun but dose not want dad to come see her. I an letting h...	smileycat	1	515	Dec 19, 2008 by Jerry F
	SOME NEW ONE-LINERS TO THINK ABOUT (Preview) I could not progress in my own recovery until I learned to focus on MY own recovery. If you want to be original -- be yourself. If we put everything in Gods hands -- Gods hands will be in everything. If you want serenity , put God between you and your problem . The only thing we can change about the past is our a...	abbyal	7	1826	Dec 19, 2008 by Mobirdie
	Maturity vs. Immaturity (Preview) (Another old share from '06) I wandered into the chat room and was looking at the top of the screen where it says "topic" and was then thinking how people come in and ask "whats the topic?" which led me to thinking, gee wouldn't it be fun to have a "today's topic" every da...	kismetstrand	5	800	Dec 19, 2008 by carolinagirl
	rejection (Preview) Hallo all I havent visited the forum for almost two years. I previously used to attend alanon meetings regularly and i suddenly stoped when i felt better and able to cope with life. Around the same time i broke up with my recovering alcoholic. Just recently he became very interested in me again and want...	hopegrace	7	885	Dec 19, 2008 by hopegrace
	Can you ever be "friends" with someone you are in love with? (Preview) I know this is irrelevant really considering my circumstances, but the A told me he didn't understand why I couldn't be his friend just because he didn't want that kind of relationship with me at this particular time. Just thought I would throw that out as a topic for discussion.	Codependent	8	3577	Dec 18, 2008 by carolinagirl
	home movies (Preview) ran across the youtube video i made of my son, Gnu, when i was checking up on my account's comments. it made me unbelievably sad just watching it. i miss him so much. -- Edited by ruejacobs at 17:13, 2008-12-16	ruejacobs	3	390	Dec 18, 2008 by maresie
	getting my focus back (Preview) I am finally getting my focus back. I finished a few things that needed to be done and feel much better. For a major change in my life that is coming up, and I have been stressing about, today I am letting higher power deal with it. My mind seems clear today and hopefully I can accomplish the same tomorrow. I...	buick23	2	478	Dec 18, 2008 by maresie
	Doing nothing, and letting go... (Preview) After the past month I can't believe I can even right that I am doing ok with doing nothing and being still....It amazes me.......Now mind ya it's not for very long periods of time and I have to be driving my sponsor crazy at this point, but I can actually FEEL myself being ok. My need to knows still get t...	shellyj123	2	548	Dec 18, 2008 by maresie
	His HP (Preview) Why do I find it so hard to believe that my A's HP loves the A as much as I do? Why do I think I need to intercede on the A's behalf- afraid HP will want to punish the A or "let" him die? Do you think the A has to be receptive to HP in order for HP to work in his life?	Codependent	6	588	Dec 18, 2008 by maresie
	Step 5 feeback~ (Preview) Am getting ready to take the 5th step and was just looking for some ESH from other members.....It seems like every step brings about more changes and clearer senses in me and I guess I am just wondering what to expect next...... thanks for letting me share......	shellyj123	2	856	Dec 18, 2008 by Jerry F
	Great posting today!! (Preview) Destruction. Crashing realities exploding in imperfect landings. Ouch. It's my heart that's breaking, for these have been my fantasies and my world. --Mary Casey We frequently aren't given what we want - whether it's a particular job, a certain relationship, a special talent. But we are always gi...	Jean4444	1	475	Dec 18, 2008 by slowlearner
	slip up and a blessing (Preview) I got a call from someone in my church and they asked for a list of 4 things each of my family wants for Christmas. I guess there is a company that works with my church that does this each year. (i hope its ok i'm posting this, but its for a reason)So there will be gifts for us, I am so grateful. It shows me that wh...	Lyndie	1	447	Dec 18, 2008 by Jean4444
	Having a Hard Time (Preview) My son (21) has been on a binge for four months which resulted in three incarcerations and 2 hospital stays. We have tried everything to get him help, but he has not hit his bottom. He goes back to court Thursday and may get jail time. Anyway, his friends bailed him out on Tuesday and I let him back in the hou...	Trinia2	7	648	Dec 17, 2008 by Trinia2
	It Begins Again (Preview) I will try not to go into too much detail. But someone needs prayers right now, several someones that are very special to me. My daughter is facing some health problems that are still undiagnosed, she's functioning but going through odd symptoms and lots of tests. She's in the middle of changing jobs,...	barisax	8	640	Dec 17, 2008 by barisax
	Self preservation (Preview) I spent 7 years obsessing about the fact the A did not like to help me out when I was "down". Now I'm having to look at underneath that I was not yet ready to learn self preservation. These days I'm getting there, better boundaries, better outlook. I have a terrible head cold that came over m...	maresie	4	500	Dec 17, 2008 by Jean4444
	Self-supporting? Tradition 7 - how to apply to self/home (Preview) (An old July 2006 share) Tradition 7: Every group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions. When I was new to Al-Anon I didn't pay much mind to the traditions. They seem kinda dry to me and not related to what I needed in trying to make my life manageable once again. Hahaha. Li...	kismetstrand	2	1221	Dec 17, 2008 by Jean4444
	Ok - so here's my story then....... (Preview) Married for 14 years. When we met we were each coming out of a divorce. We were not young at that time, but were going through sort of a rebellious stage I guess ou could say. In other words, we were both partying. My habits were temporary - and I assumed his would be under the circumstances - but they we...	peace2me	6	682	Dec 16, 2008 by peace2me
	THE RELAXED APPROACH (Preview) (Forget where I saw this, but liked it!) THE RELAXED APPROACH Step One: RELAX I don't have to be in charge or in control anymore. It's going to be okay. Step Two: RELAX I can simply believe that someone stronger than I can restore me to health and wholeness. Step Three: RELAX I can easily turn my whole life...	kismetstrand	1	579	Dec 16, 2008 by Christy
	Re: previous post...what did I do wrong? (Preview) Re: my previous post called acceptance...I have to say that I thought the response to me feeling GOOD about finally being able to say the things and needed to say to A w/out feeling so guilty and sad that it was a good thing? I didn't think I would be told to go to meetings because I'm angry and resentful? I r...	soconfused	4	659	Dec 16, 2008 by Jerry F
	Step 1 Share - Powerlessness/Managing (Preview) Thoughts from a June 2006 share.... It is amazing when I look back at how much managing I tried to do of others (people, places, things), not realizing how crazy making this was for me. I remember listening to an older member adding under her breath these words (in parenthesis) to the serenity prayer: G...	kismetstrand	1	1113	Dec 16, 2008 by Jerry F
	Focus on Recovery - What it means to you (Preview) (Another oldie.... smile... and yes, I'm still learning!) Was reading another post elsewhere and got to thinking about what recovery means to me. What the purpose of my recovery is. Basically for me, it is to get my own life back. To feel good about me, about my family, how we live, how we interact, an...	kismetstrand	1	499	Dec 16, 2008 by Jerry F
	busy couple weeks ahead (Preview) Hello everyone, Just a note to check in and explain I will be spending alot of time at work, and in the hospital for a couple weeks. I wish I could be here instead I hope everyone is doing well, and enjoying the holiday preparation! Be back as soon as I can. Jen	Jennifer	2	390	Dec 16, 2008 by joyoma
	New Addition (Preview) Hi all, :) We are so excited in my home. I have changed my avatar to show you all the new addition to the family. Her name is Mia and we expect her to join us in early January. :) Mandy -- Edited by Mandy123 at 13:04, 2008-12-15 hehe now I figured out how to attach a pic :) -- Edited by Mandy123 at 13:15, 2008-12-...	Mandy123	4	496	Dec 16, 2008 by Karilynn
	recovering alcoholic husband leaving me (Preview) hello.... this is my first post here. i need help. i am the daughter and wife of alcoholics. my husband was in aa when i met him and has never relapsed we have been together for 6 years and married for 4 months but everything has come crashing down. directly after the honeymoon he decided i was 'controllin...	helpme14	12	7755	Dec 16, 2008 by Sandy123
	How My HP Works (Preview) I think I need one of those smilies that's half smile/half crying. Or maybe just The very first post I did here I talked about how afraid to go to face to face meetings because of some ugly things I percieved happened to me. For a while, there's been no pull, no guilt, no fear that I was missing out. Just ove...	JenM	7	516	Dec 15, 2008 by ruejacobs
	We got us here a Birthday Girl - Peggy77 (Preview) (((((((((((MyPeggy))))))))))))))), I am hoping memory serves me correctly but if it does I am wishing you a wonderful, magical birthday. I hope you have an awesome day. Today is clearly a "spoil Peggy" day. Happy Birthday my beautiful friend, love Maria	Maria123	6	571	Dec 15, 2008 by blender_girl
	pre-meeting questions (Preview) so i wandered onto this forum after my son had called me from the mental hospital to say terrible tihngs to me. i jumped right in the chatbox, having an idea of what al-anon is for... i might've been wrong. i'm all out of ideas on coping with the kid's constant drug and alcohol abuse and needed (still need)...	ruejacobs	4	656	Dec 15, 2008 by Jen
	Is any one out there?????? (Preview) Is it me or am I missing something?? Do I need to be a "member" or something to get acknowledged on this site? This is the very reason I don't attend Al Anon. I feel like a number. Every time I try to attend I get the same old spill - nobody is allowed to share their personal experiences, only &...	peace2me	8	534	Dec 15, 2008 by Jen
	Double Winner Suspecting Partner (Preview) I am a double winner, in both programs,...AA and Al-Anon. I am 7 and a half months sober and my boyfriend is 5 and a half months sober. We actually both joined AA at the same time and since then, he has relapsed. Of course we have both lied to one another about each other's vices but a couple of nights ago,...	libitinarian	8	695	Dec 15, 2008 by libitinarian
	FYI on F to F meeting (Preview) Good Afternoon to all: What a wonderful and enlighting couple of f to f meetings I have attended in the last month. Last night we talked about Facing Reality---WOW---very powerful. Everyone took a turn and read out of How AL-Alon Works, new book and love it. When it came to me I read That it isn't ea...	weggie	3	541	Dec 15, 2008 by aunitedway
	I create an illusion/fantasy totally on my own w/o even realizing it! How nuts is that?! (Preview) OK, so I am seeing it. But just now!Why do I create illusion? My mind just goes down this path and totally and completely makes this story up. one that is not based in ANY kind of reality.I project an entire saga onto someone. Me with this person, this well appointed saga. All sorts of details.And th...	Jean4444	8	678	Dec 15, 2008 by Jen
	newbie here... (Preview) Hi all. Im new here and really need some es&h. I have been married to my H for 13 yrs. He is what most would call a dry drunk. He has not had a drink in 12 yrs, however, his behavior has not changed a lot since then. He is quite selfish and irresponsible. He has had court issues which were recently finished...	Lyndie	6	559	Dec 15, 2008 by aunitedway
	creepy dream (Preview) Last night I had a dream that a helicopter landed in my front yard and an emergency medical crew brought my AH out on a stretcher. They loaded up and left, with me calling out "wait, you're supposed to take him with you!" My AH went in the house and proceeded to behave like a drunken madman. I too...	RainyJamie	8	544	Dec 15, 2008 by aunitedway
	follow up (Preview) Well since yesterday didn't go so well I just had to share this. My Abfsober left a little while ago. I don't know but maybe he is going to an AA meeting. He has not been to one in a while. If he is going, I'm guessing he did drink yesterday but even if he did not, I am feeling some relief. Meetings have always be...	buick23	4	419	Dec 15, 2008 by buick23
	Struggling not to hate, and to let go of anger/resentments (Preview) I know what hating an ex did to my life before and how it did more harm to me than him, but again I find myself trying to fight the anger/resentments I feel toward Ex ABF. He has excepted no responsibilty for the way things are, has not once said he is sorry, and continues to tell me he is working on him fro...	shellyj123	8	1684	Dec 15, 2008 by maresie
	maresie (Preview) So how was Evelyn's anniversary? Did you get any feedback from those who were there?	Christy	1	400	Dec 15, 2008 by maresie
	In every cloud is a silver lining . . . (Preview) Lots of us here in the Northeast, at least Taxachusetts particularly and where I live, got hit by an ice storm which downed the trees and electric lines. I am fortunate enough to have gotten my electricity back late yesterday but my boy's home will be down for about 4 days. The silver lining is that they...	Maria123	8	465	Dec 15, 2008 by maresie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.