Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Jean4444 · Jean4444

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/23/health/23reha.html?partner=rss&emc=rss

Trinia2 · Trinia2

As someone helpfully suggested in an earlier post, I am trying to think about my 21-year-old son as a man and not my baby. My husband (his SF) refuses to let him back in the house even to visit. My son went to court on Thursday and didn't do what the judge ordered on Friday. I am not sure he'll follow through w...

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Hi again MIP family, I just learned that my AH has been moved from the medical ward to ICU as he has fully entered DTs now. He was hallucinating, combative and confused. All this happened within an hour of my visit with him. During my visit with him this evening, he seemed OK. Maybe a little "fuzzy&q...

hopeful123 · hopeful123

Healthy holiday wishes to all of you. I hope that you have some peace in the upcoming weeks. I haven't posted in about a month. My ExABF's birthday is the 26. Tomorrow is the birthday of my fiance who died 7 years ago--he should be turning 38. On top of that, it's Christmas week. So, basically, the on...

QuVat · QuVat

I went ahead and stood my ground with my AW yesterday. I told her that her staying at home was no longer a negotiation and that she was to either find a recovery house or I would drop her off at a homeless shelter. She finally agreed to look up recovery houses and I told her she had until Thursday to have dec...

helpme08 · helpme08

I just wanted to say thank you to those of you that have responded to my post a couple of days ago. I have not been able to get to a face2face meeting yet due to scheduling, but if there is one thing that I picked up on here is that attending a face2face meeting is very important. Until I am able to get there, I...

Lyndie · Lyndie

Over the last few weeks of reading, listening to speakers, and doing online meetings ZI am finally grasping this osncept of 'I have to change.' But, knowing this, and knowing myself, I am reacting to it not so well. My thoughts are along the lines of 'oh great, another thing you've done WRONG.' I am an ac...

helpme08 · helpme08

This is my very first time here. I feel that I need help and I hope to feel a little better after writing this. When my AH drinks, he usually decides to pick a fight (verbal) with me. I usually end up yelling at him back and it goes on and on. We say mean and hurtful things to each other. I don't know wha...

Codependent · Codependent

Tomorrow is Christmas at my A's mom's house. I know the A will be there, but I am not really concerned. I am feeling stronger in that area. However, my dad upset me today by stating that everyone there probably feels sorry for me like a foster child and that the A doesn't even care about me, left me with a...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I haven't been posting much, but have been here every day-usually several times a day reading and seeking the ESH from everyone's shares. I guess I haven't been posting much because right now I just don't feel I have anything good to give back. To be honest I am angry and filled with so much resentmen...

barisax · barisax

How many times have you heard, "there are two kinds of people in the world, those who xxxxxx and those who yyyyyy". It's often a joke, or used to illustrate some point. Like, there are two kinds of people in the world, those who divide everybody into two kinds of people and those who don't....

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello all, and happy holidays to you and yours! I was wondering if any of you have any experience with the drug antabuse....if so, how well does it work, etc. Thanks for your input, its always appreciated! seeking peace, jeannie

time4me · time4me

Hi all, I am new to alanon, but unfortunately not new to alcoholism. I have been with my AB for 6 years, I for some reason didn't think that that I needed to do anything for myself. I figured it was his problem. He is in a 30 day treatment center, I committed him through the courts, his drinking was once a...

QuVat · QuVat

If you're familiar with my last post "Now What" you'll know that I was trying very hard to keep any expectations I had of my newly sober wife in check. I heeded the excellent advice of fellow posters and decided to let go and wait for a sign from my HP. Unfortunately that sign came last night w...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

Hello All! My story is long, so I'll just sum it up by saying that my husband isn't coming home tonight. I'd rather not see him at all, than to see him drunk AGAIN. We've been married for 9 years and have been dealing with his alcoholism for 3 years (since our son was born). He has cheated on me with a p...

Christy · Christy

This has come up a few times recently. Why do they (fill in the blank)? Why can't they promise they will stop for their family? I don't know the answers for others, but for those that have those questions here is what I DO know. Alcohol is so powerful that eventually the body literally becomes depe...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Christmas is almost here and this year I am finding it to be more difficult (emotionally) than other years. So much has changed in my life over the past year, some good, and some bad. I miss the people that I have lost in my life; either from death or because of choice. Yet I am so thankful for the relations...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I need your help. It is not a crisis, but I am getting frustrated. This year, instead of "usual" gifts, I am giving donations in people's names. For those who are in my AA/Al Anon family, I was *trying* to donate directly to World Service Office, and am finding myself running into walls. I s...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well I made it through Step 5, and thought for sure I'd have a heart attack before hand-lol......I was certain NO ONE could understand, or not judge the insanity of my past. I mean I have judged me for years, why would another not? But thanks to the best sponser a girl could have, I made it through with...

buick23 · buick23

Well, same ole, same ole. Nothing is changing, guess I need to change things for myself. The bf and I did drive around some together earlier today. Then, later on he leaves again for 5 hours. I went to the store just to get out of the house, and when I returned, we got into an argument. He tells me he was at his...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

My home group meeting room is so COLD, everything white or some shade of white. We are seriously considering painting and cleaning to make the room more homey instead of so sterile. The floor which is the only thing that has any color at all in it is a tile that is shades of grey...another sterile non de...

madmom · madmom

Hi everyone! I'm having a good week and wanted to post that I feel happy . I don't fully understand why I feel happy but, this the first "happy" I've felt in the last six months since I got married and came to the realization that I married an A. I shared for the first time on an online meeting las...

peace2me · peace2me

I feel like I have basically done the same thing over and over again - only each time I get a little more serious about ending my marriage with my A. Of couse there have always been complaints about his bad behavior, and these complaints work for a time but he always goes right back to his old ways. It snea...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I will be making lots of meetings this holiday season--we even plan to go to one of our local AA meeting on Christmas Day! It just happens to fall on that day. There probably won't be many people but we will be there to open the door! I will be at a sort of marathon type meeting tonight, too. It will be fun-...

Trinia2 · Trinia2

My AS (possibly bipolar and drug addicted) racked up several court cases in several weeks. He has been incarcerated three times and hospitalized three times in the past 9 weeks. He went to court yesterday and was ordered to get a doctor today, get on meds, not drink or drug, and report to probation dail...

maresie · maresie

I have had a really tough week with the roommates I have. I am certain one of them is now doing crack cocaine. He has become highly aggressive with me. That was one of the hallmarks of my ex A the aggressiveness. There were signs of that on Thanksgiving and I was not perceptive enough to take care of it....

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

My youngest AD had to take me to the ER at 5 this morning. I haven't been that sick in years and thought I was going to die. Some intestinal virus is going around, and I started vomiting and getting diarrhea around 11 last night. I ended up cramping so bad I was crying and had bloody diarrhea. I was on an IV for...

Codependent · Codependent

Tonight I went to my first face to face meeting. It was not an Alanon Meeting. It was a Celebrate Recovery Meeting and then a Codependency small group. I told the group I believed my primary addiction to be to my addict and my secondary to be to alcohol- as a coping mechanism to deal with my codependenc...

helpme08 · helpme08

This is my very first time here. I feel that I need help and I hope to feel a little better after writing this. When my AH drinks, he usually decides to pick a fight (verbal) with me. I usually end up yelling at him back and it goes on and on. We say mean and hurtful things to each other. I don't know wha...

buick23 · buick23

Today I'm having trouble focusing on myself and not the bf. Again, he's gone today. I asked him about why he doesn't want to do things together and he said that I'm always complaining when we are somewhere and I have to stop to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. That really hurt. I wonder if I'm that bad,...

Laurenlou · Laurenlou

Hi all, I am brand new here. I am 23 year old mother of a 2.5 year old daughter. And I am the wife of a drug addict. My husband has been addicted to pain meds for over 3 years. He has been in 5 car accidents (1 of which was very serious and caused the early birth of our daughter) and has 2 DUIs (he would have 1 more, b...

BirdGal · BirdGal

Is this the best message board for the spouse of a recovering addict? Or is there a separate..."nar anon" or something? I know this may seem like a silly question. But I'm new to all of this. And I'm pretty much still reeling from recent events in my life...struggling with how to trust/love/kn...

Jerry F · Jerry F

(((((Luna))))) if you chance to check in? Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and as for me...you're still loved like crazy. Let us know how you are or send a messenger or something. (((((hugs)))))`

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It doesn't matter how or when you celebrate the holiday season; just celebrate! I am trying to not be a Scrooge when it comes to my mother. If she had anywhere else to go, I would suggest it this year! I am still angry at the things she has pulled the last couple of days. Time to turn her over, I guess. My Ah &am...

Lisa11397 · Lisa11397

Hi my name is Lisa I have a history of Alcohalism in my family my husband and MNL are also alcohalics and I need help coping with it. Thank you I'm nervous about this process but I want to be strong for myself and my kids.

Felicia · Felicia

Hi - My name is Felicia and I am new to the board. I have been reading it over while waiting for my membership to kick in. I am so hurt, confused, angry, devasted and carry so much guilt. I have been going to a counselor and she wanted me to check this out as well as a victim of domestic violence group. My story (...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

While driving home from work tonight in an ice storm with lightening flashing and weather forcasts of impending critical conditions...I did something I've never before done. I said a silent prayer stating "I'm going to need your help getting home tonight" as suddenly as the thoughts...

afmom03 · afmom03

Hi there everyone!!! It's been since August I have been able to get into this message board! GRRRRR!! I never know one day to the next when I log out if I'll be able to get back in here! <LOL> I have been reading everyone's posts for months now and it's driving me bonke...

QuVat · QuVat

Well here I am again. After two DUI's, losing her job, and nearly 3 months of hospitlization/rehab my wife and I are living together at home. Unfortunately as we all know things are never that easy and after 5 days together she has gone back to abusing perscription drugs (her first drug of choice is al...

smileycat · smileycat

Hi all I have had a very good day to day. Work is going ok and home live is still the three of us ( myself and the 15g, and 18b) my AH is still at his mothers and not like it but that is his problem. New problem and handleing it? The girl is in chours and having fun but dose not want dad to come see her. I an letting h...

abbyal · abbyal

I could not progress in my own recovery until I learned to focus on MY own recovery. If you want to be original -- be yourself. If we put everything in Gods hands -- Gods hands will be in everything. If you want serenity , put God between you and your problem . The only thing we can change about the past is our a...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

(Another old share from '06) I wandered into the chat room and was looking at the top of the screen where it says "topic" and was then thinking how people come in and ask "whats the topic?" which led me to thinking, gee wouldn't it be fun to have a "today's topic" every da...

hopegrace · hopegrace

Hallo all I havent visited the forum for almost two years. I previously used to attend alanon meetings regularly and i suddenly stoped when i felt better and able to cope with life. Around the same time i broke up with my recovering alcoholic. Just recently he became very interested in me again and want...

Codependent · Codependent

I know this is irrelevant really considering my circumstances, but the A told me he didn't understand why I couldn't be his friend just because he didn't want that kind of relationship with me at this particular time. Just thought I would throw that out as a topic for discussion.

ruejacobs · ruejacobs

ran across the youtube video i made of my son, Gnu, when i was checking up on my account's comments. it made me unbelievably sad just watching it. i miss him so much. -- Edited by ruejacobs at 17:13, 2008-12-16

buick23 · buick23

I am finally getting my focus back. I finished a few things that needed to be done and feel much better. For a major change in my life that is coming up, and I have been stressing about, today I am letting higher power deal with it. My mind seems clear today and hopefully I can accomplish the same tomorrow. I...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

After the past month I can't believe I can even right that I am doing ok with doing nothing and being still....It amazes me.......Now mind ya it's not for very long periods of time and I have to be driving my sponsor crazy at this point, but I can actually FEEL myself being ok. My need to knows still get t...

Codependent · Codependent

Why do I find it so hard to believe that my A's HP loves the A as much as I do? Why do I think I need to intercede on the A's behalf- afraid HP will want to punish the A or "let" him die? Do you think the A has to be receptive to HP in order for HP to work in his life?

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Am getting ready to take the 5th step and was just looking for some ESH from other members.....It seems like every step brings about more changes and clearer senses in me and I guess I am just wondering what to expect next...... thanks for letting me share......

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Destruction. Crashing realities exploding in imperfect landings. Ouch. It's my heart that's breaking, for these have been my fantasies and my world. --Mary Casey We frequently aren't given what we want - whether it's a particular job, a certain relationship, a special talent. But we are always gi...

Lyndie · Lyndie

I got a call from someone in my church and they asked for a list of 4 things each of my family wants for Christmas. I guess there is a company that works with my church that does this each year. (i hope its ok i'm posting this, but its for a reason)So there will be gifts for us, I am so grateful. It shows me that wh...

Trinia2 · Trinia2

My son (21) has been on a binge for four months which resulted in three incarcerations and 2 hospital stays. We have tried everything to get him help, but he has not hit his bottom. He goes back to court Thursday and may get jail time. Anyway, his friends bailed him out on Tuesday and I let him back in the hou...

barisax · barisax

I will try not to go into too much detail. But someone needs prayers right now, several someones that are very special to me. My daughter is facing some health problems that are still undiagnosed, she's functioning but going through odd symptoms and lots of tests. She's in the middle of changing jobs,...

maresie · maresie

I spent 7 years obsessing about the fact the A did not like to help me out when I was "down". Now I'm having to look at underneath that I was not yet ready to learn self preservation. These days I'm getting there, better boundaries, better outlook. I have a terrible head cold that came over m...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

(An old July 2006 share) Tradition 7: Every group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions. When I was new to Al-Anon I didn't pay much mind to the traditions. They seem kinda dry to me and not related to what I needed in trying to make my life manageable once again. Hahaha. Li...

peace2me · peace2me

Married for 14 years. When we met we were each coming out of a divorce. We were not young at that time, but were going through sort of a rebellious stage I guess ou could say. In other words, we were both partying. My habits were temporary - and I assumed his would be under the circumstances - but they we...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

(Forget where I saw this, but liked it!) THE RELAXED APPROACH Step One: RELAX I don't have to be in charge or in control anymore. It's going to be okay. Step Two: RELAX I can simply believe that someone stronger than I can restore me to health and wholeness. Step Three: RELAX I can easily turn my whole life...

soconfused · soconfused

Re: my previous post called acceptance...I have to say that I thought the response to me feeling GOOD about finally being able to say the things and needed to say to A w/out feeling so guilty and sad that it was a good thing? I didn't think I would be told to go to meetings because I'm angry and resentful? I r...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

Thoughts from a June 2006 share.... It is amazing when I look back at how much managing I tried to do of others (people, places, things), not realizing how crazy making this was for me. I remember listening to an older member adding under her breath these words (in parenthesis) to the serenity prayer: G...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

(Another oldie.... *smile*... and yes, I'm still learning!) Was reading another post elsewhere and got to thinking about what recovery means to me. What the purpose of my recovery is. Basically for me, it is to get my own life back. To feel good about me, about my family, how we live, how we interact, an...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	article on drug rehab- interesting... (Preview) http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/23/health/23reha.html?partner=rss&emc=rss	Jean4444	3	478	Dec 24, 2008 by barisax
	Christmas Without AS (Preview) As someone helpfully suggested in an earlier post, I am trying to think about my 21-year-old son as a man and not my baby. My husband (his SF) refuses to let him back in the house even to visit. My son went to court on Thursday and didn't do what the judge ordered on Friday. I am not sure he'll follow through w...	Trinia2	4	388	Dec 24, 2008 by MamaMia
	Prayers for my AH Please MIP Family (Preview) Hi again MIP family, I just learned that my AH has been moved from the medical ward to ICU as he has fully entered DTs now. He was hallucinating, combative and confused. All this happened within an hour of my visit with him. During my visit with him this evening, he seemed OK. Maybe a little "fuzzy&q...	Rocky38	10	510	Dec 24, 2008 by Loupiness
	I haven't posted in a long time... (Preview) Healthy holiday wishes to all of you. I hope that you have some peace in the upcoming weeks. I haven't posted in about a month. My ExABF's birthday is the 26. Tomorrow is the birthday of my fiance who died 7 years ago--he should be turning 38. On top of that, it's Christmas week. So, basically, the on...	hopeful123	7	529	Dec 24, 2008 by hopeful123
	Help needed (Preview) I went ahead and stood my ground with my AW yesterday. I told her that her staying at home was no longer a negotiation and that she was to either find a recovery house or I would drop her off at a homeless shelter. She finally agreed to look up recovery houses and I told her she had until Thursday to have dec...	QuVat	4	540	Dec 23, 2008 by Jerry F
	Thanks! (Preview) I just wanted to say thank you to those of you that have responded to my post a couple of days ago. I have not been able to get to a face2face meeting yet due to scheduling, but if there is one thing that I picked up on here is that attending a face2face meeting is very important. Until I am able to get there, I...	helpme08	3	487	Dec 23, 2008 by maresie
	gaining some understanding about me and the 'its a disease' statement (Preview) Over the last few weeks of reading, listening to speakers, and doing online meetings ZI am finally grasping this osncept of 'I have to change.' But, knowing this, and knowing myself, I am reacting to it not so well. My thoughts are along the lines of 'oh great, another thing you've done WRONG.' I am an ac...	Lyndie	7	684	Dec 23, 2008 by maresie
	My first time (Preview) This is my very first time here. I feel that I need help and I hope to feel a little better after writing this. When my AH drinks, he usually decides to pick a fight (verbal) with me. I usually end up yelling at him back and it goes on and on. We say mean and hurtful things to each other. I don't know wha...	helpme08	3	504	Dec 23, 2008 by maresie
	Requesting Prayer or ESH for Christmas at Ex A's mom's tomorrow (Preview) Tomorrow is Christmas at my A's mom's house. I know the A will be there, but I am not really concerned. I am feeling stronger in that area. However, my dad upset me today by stating that everyone there probably feels sorry for me like a foster child and that the A doesn't even care about me, left me with a...	Codependent	4	468	Dec 23, 2008 by maresie
	Holiday struggles..... (Preview) I haven't been posting much, but have been here every day-usually several times a day reading and seeking the ESH from everyone's shares. I guess I haven't been posting much because right now I just don't feel I have anything good to give back. To be honest I am angry and filled with so much resentmen...	shellyj123	2	473	Dec 23, 2008 by maresie
	Two Kinds of People (Preview) How many times have you heard, "there are two kinds of people in the world, those who xxxxxx and those who yyyyyy". It's often a joke, or used to illustrate some point. Like, there are two kinds of people in the world, those who divide everybody into two kinds of people and those who don't....	barisax	8	544	Dec 23, 2008 by Jean4444
	just a question... (Preview) Hello all, and happy holidays to you and yours! I was wondering if any of you have any experience with the drug antabuse....if so, how well does it work, etc. Thanks for your input, its always appreciated! seeking peace, jeannie	liljeannie	6	552	Dec 23, 2008 by barisax
	New & feeling confused (Preview) Hi all, I am new to alanon, but unfortunately not new to alcoholism. I have been with my AB for 6 years, I for some reason didn't think that that I needed to do anything for myself. I figured it was his problem. He is in a 30 day treatment center, I committed him through the courts, his drinking was once a...	time4me	6	458	Dec 23, 2008 by nmike
	Making excuses? (Preview) If you're familiar with my last post "Now What" you'll know that I was trying very hard to keep any expectations I had of my newly sober wife in check. I heeded the excellent advice of fellow posters and decided to let go and wait for a sign from my HP. Unfortunately that sign came last night w...	QuVat	10	1044	Dec 23, 2008 by liljeannie
	New Here (Preview) Hello All! My story is long, so I'll just sum it up by saying that my husband isn't coming home tonight. I'd rather not see him at all, than to see him drunk AGAIN. We've been married for 9 years and have been dealing with his alcoholism for 3 years (since our son was born). He has cheated on me with a p...	N8SMOM	5	550	Dec 23, 2008 by nmike
	Why can't they just stop? (Preview) This has come up a few times recently. Why do they (fill in the blank)? Why can't they promise they will stop for their family? I don't know the answers for others, but for those that have those questions here is what I DO know. Alcohol is so powerful that eventually the body literally becomes depe...	Christy	7	760	Dec 22, 2008 by tma0413
	Do the holidays make anyone else wonder what an EX A is doing? (Preview) Christmas is almost here and this year I am finding it to be more difficult (emotionally) than other years. So much has changed in my life over the past year, some good, and some bad. I miss the people that I have lost in my life; either from death or because of choice. Yet I am so thankful for the relations...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	5	527	Dec 22, 2008 by glad lee
	Donation Frustration (Preview) I need your help. It is not a crisis, but I am getting frustrated. This year, instead of "usual" gifts, I am giving donations in people's names. For those who are in my AA/Al Anon family, I was trying to donate directly to World Service Office, and am finding myself running into walls. I s...	Tiger2006	2	656	Dec 21, 2008 by Karilynn
	Step 5-Feeling new....... (Preview) Well I made it through Step 5, and thought for sure I'd have a heart attack before hand-lol......I was certain NO ONE could understand, or not judge the insanity of my past. I mean I have judged me for years, why would another not? But thanks to the best sponser a girl could have, I made it through with...	shellyj123	1	461	Dec 21, 2008 by Jen
	fed up (Preview) Well, same ole, same ole. Nothing is changing, guess I need to change things for myself. The bf and I did drive around some together earlier today. Then, later on he leaves again for 5 hours. I went to the store just to get out of the house, and when I returned, we got into an argument. He tells me he was at his...	buick23	3	496	Dec 21, 2008 by Jen
	Decor in F2F meetings (Preview) My home group meeting room is so COLD, everything white or some shade of white. We are seriously considering painting and cleaning to make the room more homey instead of so sterile. The floor which is the only thing that has any color at all in it is a tile that is shades of grey...another sterile non de...	Mobirdie	12	533	Dec 21, 2008 by Jen
	Having a good week! (Preview) Hi everyone! I'm having a good week and wanted to post that I feel happy . I don't fully understand why I feel happy but, this the first "happy" I've felt in the last six months since I got married and came to the realization that I married an A. I shared for the first time on an online meeting las...	madmom	4	469	Dec 21, 2008 by madmom
	I'm seeing a pattern (Preview) I feel like I have basically done the same thing over and over again - only each time I get a little more serious about ending my marriage with my A. Of couse there have always been complaints about his bad behavior, and these complaints work for a time but he always goes right back to his old ways. It snea...	peace2me	24	821	Dec 21, 2008 by Christy
	Meetings meetings & more meetings! (Preview) I will be making lots of meetings this holiday season--we even plan to go to one of our local AA meeting on Christmas Day! It just happens to fall on that day. There probably won't be many people but we will be there to open the door! I will be at a sort of marathon type meeting tonight, too. It will be fun-...	Hoot Nanny	1	395	Dec 21, 2008 by ddub
	Feel So Despondent (Preview) My AS (possibly bipolar and drug addicted) racked up several court cases in several weeks. He has been incarcerated three times and hospitalized three times in the past 9 weeks. He went to court yesterday and was ordered to get a doctor today, get on meds, not drink or drug, and report to probation dail...	Trinia2	3	423	Dec 20, 2008 by DreamsOver
	another level of insight (Preview) I have had a really tough week with the roommates I have. I am certain one of them is now doing crack cocaine. He has become highly aggressive with me. That was one of the hallmarks of my ex A the aggressiveness. There were signs of that on Thanksgiving and I was not perceptive enough to take care of it....	maresie	4	616	Dec 20, 2008 by maresie
	Could use some healing thoughts... (Preview) My youngest AD had to take me to the ER at 5 this morning. I haven't been that sick in years and thought I was going to die. Some intestinal virus is going around, and I started vomiting and getting diarrhea around 11 last night. I ended up cramping so bad I was crying and had bloody diarrhea. I was on an IV for...	Tenderheartsks	10	548	Dec 20, 2008 by Jean4444
	Went to my first face to face (Preview) Tonight I went to my first face to face meeting. It was not an Alanon Meeting. It was a Celebrate Recovery Meeting and then a Codependency small group. I told the group I believed my primary addiction to be to my addict and my secondary to be to alcohol- as a coping mechanism to deal with my codependenc...	Codependent	8	4720	Dec 20, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	My first time (Preview) This is my very first time here. I feel that I need help and I hope to feel a little better after writing this. When my AH drinks, he usually decides to pick a fight (verbal) with me. I usually end up yelling at him back and it goes on and on. We say mean and hurtful things to each other. I don't know wha...	helpme08	5	569	Dec 20, 2008 by Lisa11397
	failing to keep the focus on myself (Preview) Today I'm having trouble focusing on myself and not the bf. Again, he's gone today. I asked him about why he doesn't want to do things together and he said that I'm always complaining when we are somewhere and I have to stop to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. That really hurt. I wonder if I'm that bad,...	buick23	5	1194	Dec 20, 2008 by Jean4444
	New here... (Preview) Hi all, I am brand new here. I am 23 year old mother of a 2.5 year old daughter. And I am the wife of a drug addict. My husband has been addicted to pain meds for over 3 years. He has been in 5 car accidents (1 of which was very serious and caused the early birth of our daughter) and has 2 DUIs (he would have 1 more, b...	Laurenlou	9	702	Dec 20, 2008 by faithhopelove
	Newbie Question (Preview) Is this the best message board for the spouse of a recovering addict? Or is there a separate..."nar anon" or something? I know this may seem like a silly question. But I'm new to all of this. And I'm pretty much still reeling from recent events in my life...struggling with how to trust/love/kn...	BirdGal	10	548	Dec 20, 2008 by faithhopelove
	Where is Lunamoth!! (Preview) (((((Luna))))) if you chance to check in? Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and as for me...you're still loved like crazy. Let us know how you are or send a messenger or something. (((((hugs)))))`	Jerry F	0	370	Dec 19, 2008 by Jerry F
	Just a quickie! (Preview) It doesn't matter how or when you celebrate the holiday season; just celebrate! I am trying to not be a Scrooge when it comes to my mother. If she had anywhere else to go, I would suggest it this year! I am still angry at the things she has pulled the last couple of days. Time to turn her over, I guess. My Ah &am...	Hoot Nanny	1	373	Dec 19, 2008 by Jerry F
	New to this. (Preview) Hi my name is Lisa I have a history of Alcohalism in my family my husband and MNL are also alcohalics and I need help coping with it. Thank you I'm nervous about this process but I want to be strong for myself and my kids.	Lisa11397	10	537	Dec 19, 2008 by Lisa11397
	new and not handling things well (Preview) Hi - My name is Felicia and I am new to the board. I have been reading it over while waiting for my membership to kick in. I am so hurt, confused, angry, devasted and carry so much guilt. I have been going to a counselor and she wanted me to check this out as well as a victim of domestic violence group. My story (...	Felicia	0	338	Dec 19, 2008 by Felicia
	AhHa Moment (Preview) While driving home from work tonight in an ice storm with lightening flashing and weather forcasts of impending critical conditions...I did something I've never before done. I said a silent prayer stating "I'm going to need your help getting home tonight" as suddenly as the thoughts...	Peggy7	4	590	Dec 19, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	Just in Case.... (Preview) Hi there everyone!!! It's been since August I have been able to get into this message board! GRRRRR!! I never know one day to the next when I log out if I'll be able to get back in here! <LOL> I have been reading everyone's posts for months now and it's driving me bonke...	afmom03	2	570	Dec 19, 2008 by Jerry F
	Now what? (Preview) Well here I am again. After two DUI's, losing her job, and nearly 3 months of hospitlization/rehab my wife and I are living together at home. Unfortunately as we all know things are never that easy and after 5 days together she has gone back to abusing perscription drugs (her first drug of choice is al...	QuVat	4	577	Dec 19, 2008 by Jerry F
	semihappy today (Preview) Hi all I have had a very good day to day. Work is going ok and home live is still the three of us ( myself and the 15g, and 18b) my AH is still at his mothers and not like it but that is his problem. New problem and handleing it? The girl is in chours and having fun but dose not want dad to come see her. I an letting h...	smileycat	1	528	Dec 19, 2008 by Jerry F
	SOME NEW ONE-LINERS TO THINK ABOUT (Preview) I could not progress in my own recovery until I learned to focus on MY own recovery. If you want to be original -- be yourself. If we put everything in Gods hands -- Gods hands will be in everything. If you want serenity , put God between you and your problem . The only thing we can change about the past is our a...	abbyal	7	1852	Dec 19, 2008 by Mobirdie
	Maturity vs. Immaturity (Preview) (Another old share from '06) I wandered into the chat room and was looking at the top of the screen where it says "topic" and was then thinking how people come in and ask "whats the topic?" which led me to thinking, gee wouldn't it be fun to have a "today's topic" every da...	kismetstrand	5	823	Dec 19, 2008 by carolinagirl
	rejection (Preview) Hallo all I havent visited the forum for almost two years. I previously used to attend alanon meetings regularly and i suddenly stoped when i felt better and able to cope with life. Around the same time i broke up with my recovering alcoholic. Just recently he became very interested in me again and want...	hopegrace	7	902	Dec 19, 2008 by hopegrace
	Can you ever be "friends" with someone you are in love with? (Preview) I know this is irrelevant really considering my circumstances, but the A told me he didn't understand why I couldn't be his friend just because he didn't want that kind of relationship with me at this particular time. Just thought I would throw that out as a topic for discussion.	Codependent	8	3596	Dec 18, 2008 by carolinagirl
	home movies (Preview) ran across the youtube video i made of my son, Gnu, when i was checking up on my account's comments. it made me unbelievably sad just watching it. i miss him so much. -- Edited by ruejacobs at 17:13, 2008-12-16	ruejacobs	3	406	Dec 18, 2008 by maresie
	getting my focus back (Preview) I am finally getting my focus back. I finished a few things that needed to be done and feel much better. For a major change in my life that is coming up, and I have been stressing about, today I am letting higher power deal with it. My mind seems clear today and hopefully I can accomplish the same tomorrow. I...	buick23	2	492	Dec 18, 2008 by maresie
	Doing nothing, and letting go... (Preview) After the past month I can't believe I can even right that I am doing ok with doing nothing and being still....It amazes me.......Now mind ya it's not for very long periods of time and I have to be driving my sponsor crazy at this point, but I can actually FEEL myself being ok. My need to knows still get t...	shellyj123	2	565	Dec 18, 2008 by maresie
	His HP (Preview) Why do I find it so hard to believe that my A's HP loves the A as much as I do? Why do I think I need to intercede on the A's behalf- afraid HP will want to punish the A or "let" him die? Do you think the A has to be receptive to HP in order for HP to work in his life?	Codependent	6	601	Dec 18, 2008 by maresie
	Step 5 feeback~ (Preview) Am getting ready to take the 5th step and was just looking for some ESH from other members.....It seems like every step brings about more changes and clearer senses in me and I guess I am just wondering what to expect next...... thanks for letting me share......	shellyj123	2	874	Dec 18, 2008 by Jerry F
	Great posting today!! (Preview) Destruction. Crashing realities exploding in imperfect landings. Ouch. It's my heart that's breaking, for these have been my fantasies and my world. --Mary Casey We frequently aren't given what we want - whether it's a particular job, a certain relationship, a special talent. But we are always gi...	Jean4444	1	489	Dec 18, 2008 by slowlearner
	slip up and a blessing (Preview) I got a call from someone in my church and they asked for a list of 4 things each of my family wants for Christmas. I guess there is a company that works with my church that does this each year. (i hope its ok i'm posting this, but its for a reason)So there will be gifts for us, I am so grateful. It shows me that wh...	Lyndie	1	461	Dec 18, 2008 by Jean4444
	Having a Hard Time (Preview) My son (21) has been on a binge for four months which resulted in three incarcerations and 2 hospital stays. We have tried everything to get him help, but he has not hit his bottom. He goes back to court Thursday and may get jail time. Anyway, his friends bailed him out on Tuesday and I let him back in the hou...	Trinia2	7	662	Dec 17, 2008 by Trinia2
	It Begins Again (Preview) I will try not to go into too much detail. But someone needs prayers right now, several someones that are very special to me. My daughter is facing some health problems that are still undiagnosed, she's functioning but going through odd symptoms and lots of tests. She's in the middle of changing jobs,...	barisax	8	654	Dec 17, 2008 by barisax
	Self preservation (Preview) I spent 7 years obsessing about the fact the A did not like to help me out when I was "down". Now I'm having to look at underneath that I was not yet ready to learn self preservation. These days I'm getting there, better boundaries, better outlook. I have a terrible head cold that came over m...	maresie	4	515	Dec 17, 2008 by Jean4444
	Self-supporting? Tradition 7 - how to apply to self/home (Preview) (An old July 2006 share) Tradition 7: Every group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions. When I was new to Al-Anon I didn't pay much mind to the traditions. They seem kinda dry to me and not related to what I needed in trying to make my life manageable once again. Hahaha. Li...	kismetstrand	2	1247	Dec 17, 2008 by Jean4444
	Ok - so here's my story then....... (Preview) Married for 14 years. When we met we were each coming out of a divorce. We were not young at that time, but were going through sort of a rebellious stage I guess ou could say. In other words, we were both partying. My habits were temporary - and I assumed his would be under the circumstances - but they we...	peace2me	6	695	Dec 16, 2008 by peace2me
	THE RELAXED APPROACH (Preview) (Forget where I saw this, but liked it!) THE RELAXED APPROACH Step One: RELAX I don't have to be in charge or in control anymore. It's going to be okay. Step Two: RELAX I can simply believe that someone stronger than I can restore me to health and wholeness. Step Three: RELAX I can easily turn my whole life...	kismetstrand	1	593	Dec 16, 2008 by Christy
	Re: previous post...what did I do wrong? (Preview) Re: my previous post called acceptance...I have to say that I thought the response to me feeling GOOD about finally being able to say the things and needed to say to A w/out feeling so guilty and sad that it was a good thing? I didn't think I would be told to go to meetings because I'm angry and resentful? I r...	soconfused	4	679	Dec 16, 2008 by Jerry F
	Step 1 Share - Powerlessness/Managing (Preview) Thoughts from a June 2006 share.... It is amazing when I look back at how much managing I tried to do of others (people, places, things), not realizing how crazy making this was for me. I remember listening to an older member adding under her breath these words (in parenthesis) to the serenity prayer: G...	kismetstrand	1	1134	Dec 16, 2008 by Jerry F
	Focus on Recovery - What it means to you (Preview) (Another oldie.... smile... and yes, I'm still learning!) Was reading another post elsewhere and got to thinking about what recovery means to me. What the purpose of my recovery is. Basically for me, it is to get my own life back. To feel good about me, about my family, how we live, how we interact, an...	kismetstrand	1	511	Dec 16, 2008 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.