The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi my name is Lisa I have a history of Alcohalism in my family my husband and MNL are also alcohalics and I need help coping with it. Thank you I'm nervous about this process but I want to be strong for myself and my kids.
My father was an Active Alcoholic while I was growing up, and my now ex-wife is still active. You may be nervious, and it may not be easy... but trust me, its one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself and your family to seek any and all help.
As an adult, I may not have made it married to an Alcoholic had I not recalled my Mother getting help from Al-anon... it was that close for me.
I am glad you are here... meetings, posting here and the chat room are great resourses. I read everything I could get my hands on, starting with the One Day At a Time daily reader.
You are not alone...
Take care of you!
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
It sounds like you understand that alcoholism and the effects it has on family members can be passed down from generation to generation.
My ex-wife medicated the life that we were living with booze... she didn't feel the craziness or anxiety like I did. My need to make sure everything stayed together (or not fall apart) drove me to the brink of insanity. I, unlike her, did not medicate with booze and could see and feel the downward spiral. PAINFUL!
So, while I was painfully aware of where our lives were headed, she was not there (mentally) to feel it. She was unavailable. She couldn't meet my needs or the needs of anyone else in her life. She was a 35 yr old with the emotional age of around 14. I've been told that when a person begins boozing/drugging/medicating, they subsequently stop emotionally growing at whatever age that it happens.
If I could give you one thing to let YOU start healing, it would be: KEEP COMING BACK here and writing your feelings down. Share them with us - that is, us that have been there, too- RTexas said it ... you are not alone. The more you open up and share those FEELINGS, the less alone and, perhaps, ISOLATED, you will feel.
The disease of alcoholism is too much for most of us to handle by ourselves... and why would I want to, by myself. I am no longer ashamed of getting myself in a tough spot... and I am proud to have grown and progressed to a point where, right now, it is up to me. I AM RESPONSIBLE, and I am the only ONE responsible, for my happiness ~~ and this program (face to face meetings, especially) showed me how to get there!!!!
again, keep sharing your feelings with love, cj
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
welcome to MIP. You don't have to do this alone. Dealing with alhololism as a family member is tough, as I know from experience. I have learned a lot from this board and it's members and am very grateful. Because of it, I feel much better about myself and I am able to deal with life better. Please give MIP a try. I am glad you are here.
Welcome Lisa. Coming from an alcoholic family you learn not to talk about your problems or even admit that they are there. I remember going to Alanon meetings and even coming here to MIP and feeling very nervous in sharing. I am now able to tell people in real life about my reality. Keep coming back.
Thank you all for the warm welcome, Unfortunely my husband is not one of those people that hides in the house so everyone knows. and they look down on me feeling sorry for me my friend sat right at my Kitchen table and said I feel sorry for you and I looked her straight in the face and said don't ever feel sorry for me because I know I can do this. and we went outside and she asked me how I'm I copeing my son's counselor and starting to get help from Alanon. and one of my good friends talking to her helps too.
There is tremendous denial about alcoholism and what it does to families. One really great resource is the book Getting them Sober. The book is listed above offered for free by one of our members. I would strongly suggest getting it if you can.
I'd also suggest that you come here every single day. I've been coming for 4 years now. The support and help here is very helpful.
The more time and energy you can give to this program the more tools you can learn and the easier it gets. Every single day that you can use the program the more resources you will find available to you.
I was going to go to an alanon meeting in town today but my childrens school called and he had a really bad cough but winter vacation is next week and I plan on going my friend is going to watch the kiddies while I go I took him to the doctors and good thing I did because they heard a wheezing in his chest.
Lisa, u can do this and no one is ever gonna feel sorry for you in al-anon! We do and feel a massive amount of compassion becuz WE KNOW what it feels like and have been where you are. We also learn to feel a massive amount of compassion for alcoholics, too. There is so much love and acceptance in this program, it will blow your mind. I am glad to see you here, its a very good place. Face to face meetings are precious. Each meeting is like its own gem, i swear. And its nothing that money could ever buy- its on a whole different level. Keep coming back, hugs, J.
Welcome to the fellowship of others who have walked in your shoes before you. By sharing our experiences we continue to find strength and new insights to do more than cope. We give and receive hope and strength here from one another even though our experiences aren't exactly the same many will understand where you've come and where you are heading. Give the program a chance by listening, and reading as much literature as you can get your hands on and having an open mind and you will find peace and serenity in your life.
I told my son's counselor that I found the website and she said that is wonderful for the days that I got get to a meeting or feel ackward face to face it's good to come here.
