The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Christmas and the holiday season has a way of making everything more intense, more dramatic. Even before the years of dysfunctional family problems and our health issues, the season often had some tensions and some unhappy things associated with the activities. I have often overcome these things by digging deep and acknowledging the spiritual reason for it all....my own traditional beliefs. NOW.....with the a-ism acknowledgment, the family split, my mom dying, my health decline, my husband's health problems the acroutements of the holiday have had to take a really really far back seat. This morning, as I hit SEND on the e-mail holiday greetings I created for friends, I felt no need to apologize for not sending cards. I have cut back on the decorations and accepted the help I needed to do what I did. I have done all shopping on-line and have cut back on the money spent for everyone. I have bought prepared cookie dough at the grocery and there will be no fanciness. I have declined two party invitations because I just don't want to go. I have agreed with my husband that we don't need to compete with the neighbors with outdoor decor and will just enjoy what those neighbors do...with gratitude. So I feel a sense of relief about Christmas this year. I vow to not allow depressions to play a role this year since last Christmas was so bleak and awful. We still have problems, but my attitude is one of submission and acceptance and gratefulness that I am even up and walking with the disease I am fighting. Whatever your traditions and beliefs this season, I wish you peace and serenity. And especially, if you are physically healthy, treasure that and protect that with all you have in you!!!!
Through it all, Joy, keep in mind that you need to "get out" and enjoy some of the spirit of the holidays. Don't coop up and "Bah humbug" it all. You need a smile or a laugh where you can get it; happiness for only a few minutes is better than no happiness at all.
Am I scolding you? Of course not! Just pushing you along a little bit, and hoping for the best for you and yours during this most joyous of seasons.
With caring,
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
My Christmas this year is pretty lean. I'm electing not to cook, not that I don't want to but because it seems like I do all the work. I'm no longer willing to be the sole warrior. I'm all for recognizing our limits.
I think, for me, any day o the year can have painful memories. But it is my responsibility to see my current life in context. I don't live like I used to anymore. I think also the holidays are stressful because there are outside expectations. I've stopped expecting myself to buy gifts; send cards; do things that "are normal." There are 12 months to the year. If I can't get my relationships in order the other 11, the month of December isn't the time to compensate.
Joyoma, You sound wonderful, dear. I am so glad you are feeling more serene this year. I remember what a struggle it was for you last year. Life is never going to be perfect, but we can chose to be happy with what we have to be thankful for at this moment.
I want you to know that watching your growth in recovery has been a blessing for me. Your being here is one of the things that I am thankful for.
In recovery,
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
hi joy, just wanted you to know you and yours are in my thoughts and prayers.
We can only do what we can! My daughter is mad at me again for not coming up 2 hours to see her and son.
For some reason she forgets I am in excrutiating pain when I sit more than a few minutes.
I decided after over 15 years of dealing with her arrogance, I will no longer email her. I sent her money and she sent it back.
I agree with you, do what ya can, really hp knows your heart. considering al the obstacles in your life, I am glad you still are part of MIP!!!
Joy I invite you to say, hold, hug, arm around whatever you want to do wiy your mom. For me I felt I had given her all the love and care I could. I would have done anything she wanted. I was even asking her if she wanted to go to Hawaii I we could second mortgage my house. But she said all she wanted was to be with her loved ones.
I ignore christmas and this pretty much works for me.
We all have our own paths here.
I am glad to have the time off of work!
I will visit a best friend I have not seen in a couple of years. She is buddhist/Japanese and could care less about christmas and has never celebrated it. I am certainly not a christian and could care less about christmas and no longer celebrate it. We will just hang out and laugh and talk for a couple of days. Go to the movies, maybe.
I would do this with her any time of year, given the time off.
