Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

desperate for help · desperate for help

It's childish, I know. But AH didn't even bother to get me a birthday cake. He was able to go pick up our take out food for dinner and get smashed while waiting for it, but couldn't think of me. My three kids felt so bad, but it's not their fault. They expected Dad to take of it. This disease really pisse...

RLC · RLC

Hello To ALL, I am in this program for myself. Taking care of yourself "first" is the first thing we are told when we walk through the doors of Al-Anon. We must never forget that. The second reason I am in the program is to give back, share with others my ESH of the experiences I have had or lea...

Diane B · Diane B

I love serenity.....can I share one new topic I used as a reply a minute ago? For me anyway, the new me HAD to add physical exercise. It is so theraputic and so good for you anyway - not to mention your outward appearance improves even if your inward appearance is about the wig-out! Everyone during ha...

Annie69 · Annie69

I have a question. I live with an A and he drinks all the time. He says hurtful things and blames me for everything wrong and I'm the reason he drinks. The question is/ Why do I blame myself for his drinking?

Jozie · Jozie

All (3) of you make very good points...(((((Shelly, Christy, WD))))))) June is the 6 month the state needed for me to settle dad's debts, they make you wait 6 months so that if there is anyone out there, that my father owed money then they have till then to get ahold of me...After June, they close all his c...

Donna S · Donna S

I told him when he went into rehab last time (after a major binge) that this was it, if he drank again I was done and he'd have to move out. But he was really working the program and working on his issues until about two days ago. I saw the red flags before he did. New he was going to drink but couldn't do anythin...

Jozie · Jozie

OK....Well for those of you that have followed my drama... I have an Abrother, that I currantly HANDED a trailor that belonged to my AFather that past... Well Dad past in Nov. and I have been in charge of getting all his affairs in order... LUCKY ME!!! to make the long of it short, I paid the first (2) month...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Its like walking on eggshells. What is this about? Why am I so afraid to be who I am at my job? I guess its because if they do not approve or "like" me, they can fire me or ask me to leave. Its like there is this whole subtext there that I do not "get" and it keeps tripping me up- rules t...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

My AH finally returned from abroad on monday and got in touch this morning. I have said i dont want to see him because i have to protect myself and am frightened i would beg him to come back. He says its a mixture of chemistry and his mind that has caused this final split, he has left me many times before. This...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Okay family, Just heard today that the papers from my medical have been lost and the appeal that I am to attend tomorrow may be affected by this. My advizer says: If the medical report had been negative then my case is helped by the report being lost and not received by the tribunal; on the other hand if th...

Tracy · Tracy

My exab brings lots of madness and pain into my life. I have a good job I enjoy, two beautiful, healthy children. Enough money to pay my bills. My own health. Lots of friends in alanon, a loving mother, father and brother. Yet i miss him so much the closeness I know this shows me that I need time alone. ...

maryam · maryam

Last post I was talking about leaving, well after finding out about him now smoking crack and the last argument when i threatened to have someome come beat on him for the treatment i was getting, He got a knife and pushed me to the otherside of room sticking the knife into the wall next to my head, and sayin...

maresie · maresie

http://www.rachelresnick.com/QandA/index.html For me personally love addiction goes hand in hand with my codependency and they are core issues although I certainly have plenty of issues! There is an interesting memoir out at the moment that has a very good grasp on love addiction called love ju...

ddub · ddub

"don't leave until the miracles start to happen" echos in my ears as I re-live last weeks happenings. 3 wks ago I told my AH I wanted to live in a non alcoholic home with a non alcoholic family. We might need to separate for 3 mos so at least our kids have one healthy parent. Then see what to do...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I have noticed that since I finished my first round through the steps I am struggling to keep the program and HP the center of my life where I know both should be. Don't get me wrong I am still very much working the program but when I was working the steps more concentrated though the first round of the st...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I'm going to try to sum up a really complicated situation. My boyfriend who is the greatest man I have ever had in my life has been informed by his HP that he must choose between me (who he loves as much as I love him) and his purpose in life (ie god's will for him or path for him). I posted a while back about ho...

canadianguy · canadianguy

I was reminded the other day (and likely every day), of how much the perspectives that WE bring to every situation affect us, and our ability to manage / accept situations, people, etc.... It reminded me of a great story from John Gray - author of the Mars & Venus books.... One of his self-help tape...

Diva · Diva

I have taken a little hiatus from MIP, but am now ready to rejoin you with renewed vigor. I will be catching up on all of you who I love so dearly, and getting to know the new members as well. I send best of good wishes to everyone. Diva

gimmpy · gimmpy

My 21 year old is in deep with drugs it appears. She hit a deer with her car, again. She received a $1600 check from insurance. She took the check, did not get the car repaired and has disapeared. She is not answering our calls or text messages. Now work called and says she hasn't shown up there. chances are...

glad lee · glad lee

I had a tense moment with a friend tonight. She is having another party next weekend. As we were talking tonight, I asked what I could bring. She rattled off what she and another person are bringing, so I offered a salad. She said that would be "perfect" and then proceeded to tell me the gue...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

AS most of you know that read my post yesterday, my son's 12th birthday, I started out not focused and trying to get there. After posting here I felt better, after praying on things I felt better, blessed and grateful. We were ready to start a beautiful birthday celebrating day. Got to the skating rin...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((Family))), I hope you have all had a good weekend. To those of you that are in the path of the northeast snowstorm, stay safe. Please feel free to send some of it my way. I'm just slightly too far west of it to get any - maybe a flurry or two. You all know how much I love the snow. Anyway, my niece and I wer...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I cannot do anything about my mom, my husband or anyone unless I first focus on me. I tend to get into their business too much. I am so grateful for their prescence in my life. Today I am sitting in the library trying to get my head together & do what is in front of me. This perticular day is a Monday &...

Jozie · Jozie

Well... It has been an Up & Down kind of weekend...Never boring that is for sure...Friday I had read in my devotional books that I should conquer my fears...Well I couldn't think of any...lol... Well 100% of the time since I started F2F meeting it has been my Sister in law... (Which I love that we sha...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I am hating my job and I cannot seem to stop. I need to stop hating my job. I need to keep my job even though everything (sick) in me is screaming for me to quit. I just took a week off to deal with my storage unit leftover from my marriage which was a pretty horrible week, generally. Big bad reminders of tha...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well today is my son's birthday and I was bound and determined last night that I would not project and worry my way through it....but here I am so I must need some ESH. I'm having quit the time staying focused.....but am diggin in with both feet and trying. To update a bit, my EXABF sent me an email and aske...

Loupiness · Loupiness

It was chaos at my house tonight. Don't even know what happened. My 4 yr old ended up hysterical because he didn't feel like he was being treated fairly in a video game with my daughter and the neighbors boys, my 15 yr old tried to fix it and became angry when he couldn't, and my daughter stirred the pot. As f...

Cyn · Cyn

Yesterday was a bit rough to say the least. I turned my phone off for the last week, when I turned it on Thursday, there were 4 VM and 2 texts from my A. All very sweet, each VM a bit more urgent. So I called him back yesterday morning. He was overly sweet, excited to talk to me, couldnt really chat because...

maresie · maresie

Last night I went to see Johnny Cash at Folsom prison which is an independent movie. As some of you may know Johnny and June Carter Cash gave a concert at Folsom prison. During that time Johnny met an accomplished musician, Glen Shirley and eventually championed him and when he was released from priso...

Maria123 · Maria123

The Man Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear " the rules " From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered &...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family)))), Recovery is all about taking care of ourselves. It's getting emotionally and physically healthy. It's about living strong. Every October I remind you to get those mamograms. A friend of mine who works for a nonprofit group sent me an email. She has thoroughly checked this site...

beachmum · beachmum

Hi all, I'm new to the board. I hope to get some help here, since I don't know where else to turn. my boyfriend of 3 years is a food addict. When I first started dating him, I had known him for years; he had ballooned in weight to what he said was 450lbs, and he had blamed his past really awful marriage for his o...

Tracy · Tracy

I am very confused my inner voice/gods will comes to me when I meditate and through other alanoners, literature etc. All this guidance tells me I need to love me, that its not my responsibility to control, rescue others. That I am powerless over the A and I need to make healthy choices for myself.. I k...

Lucie · Lucie

Hi There I am in a complicated situation. Based on some actions I took before I joined Al-Anon and learned I was powerless. I am since trying my best to let go. Heres what went on. My husband has an alcohol problem that he is working on. But until he started working on it, things were bad. Every other month h...

Tracy · Tracy

Wow just recieved guidance from HP thanks to another al anon memeber. I try to fix everything make everything o.k. This means I control (try) people take on their responsibilities try and run their lives. I do this for two reasons because I care for them but also to create the life I desire. But I have...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

My son came home yesterday completely devastated. He had left his IPOD on the school bus and just knew he would never see it again. It hurt him even more because he had worked making clay pens and snakes and selling them, and saved every penny to buy it with, and $250 is ALOT of money for a child to make on h...

gngcrzy · gngcrzy

On Wednesday I split off altogether from my crazy friend. I feel like an a**hole for doing it but I was losing my mind. I spent yesterday and the day before depressed and numb. It's hard to get out of bed. My phone doesn't work. My wallet disappeared. I feel like my sponsor's pretty well sick of me and g...

Tracy · Tracy

every time I submit a new post one of those little black ticks is at the side saying no posts. How do I get rid of this so people asnwer my posts? -- Edited by Tracy at 10:41, 2009-02-28 -- Edited by Tracy at 10:42, 2009-02-28

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

It has been a hard week, my AS has been on a binge this week came in and made got me so very upset, I tried to be calm and matter of fact, but after he left I was a wreck. I gave him food and some snacks to take with him, I am not at the place yet where I can completely put him out of my life. I look at him and I see what he...

nmike · nmike

I requested an internal transfer. I interviewed. I received a letter offering me the job. I think it would be a good move to learn a new subject area. Learn new skills. Something to put on my resume. Same pay. I would get away from an antagonistic co-worker. Well, it would put me in the same dept. as my AHso...

maresie · maresie

At the moment I am working very consciously to shed the victim role which I am very famiiar with. Besides an attitude change for me it means lots of letting go. When I give someone something I have to let go of how they use it. When I am misunderstood often I have to let go that people don't understand me....

Cyn · Cyn

This is what I dont understand. It seems to be the same story from everyone. The A drinks too much, crosses serious lines in relationships, then moves out and runs away from everything leaving destruction behind. Why is it the same story? What is it about this disease that makes them so selfish and...

Jozie · Jozie

Well this morning I was slow moving... Couldn't be my Mo Jo together to get up and get my feet in "Go" mode... Well after hitting the snooze button several times, my handsome son comes up the steps with the look of "Mom Is Still In Bed?" So I carried my lazy butt down the steps and hit t...

Rora · Rora

I have been working and reworking step 2 and 3 for a while now. Today, during a deliberate consultation with my HP I started thinking about how capable I have been in having an imaginary relationship with my aH and how easy it was (is) for me to create something that isn't. It can be good. It can be bad. I hav...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family)))), Am I cracking up (Christy don't answer that! ) or does it appear to others that the lists of posts and their fonts have gotten smaller? I have increased the text size, but it still seems to me like the heading above the lists of post has remained the same, but the topic list has shrunk. ...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

So, I was driving home last week, thinking and thinking and thinking about the path my AH is taking. His father told me he wouldn't be surprised if the A lost everything AGAIN and had to go back to their place. So I was unconsciusly working out a plan of what WE would do when HE lost everything LOL, and aski...

angel mom · angel mom

My husband passed from alcoholic poisoning and I'm having a difficult time. Some of his family blames me for his death. I tried to get him help more than once. I took him to detox but it didn't stick. So i gave him and ultimatum to chose his family and get help or his addiction. a few days later he got check in...

Christy · Christy

Our dear Maria is always the one to post everyone's Birthday. (Even just after having surgery.) Thanks Maria, I think it's so thoughtful of you to remember and take the time. Here's what bothers me...you can see how many people took the time to view the "happy birthday" post. How hard is i...

brightmommy · brightmommy

Today's passage from Hope for Today describes how I have forgiven in the past...accepting unacceptable behaviors...I was more less trying to forget it than to forgive. That is why I sunk deep into the past events and relive them over and over in my mind. I have not truly worked through the resentments...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

"Please free my thinking of self will, self seeking, dishonesty and wrong motives". That is a part of a prayer I pray every morning, usually before my feet hit the floor. Yesterday was no different, of course with some limited contact from the EXABF on Tuesday, again my world was feeling a...

tabi1 · tabi1

see my last thread to understand this. i haven't the strength to repeat it. he made contact and we spoke to each other with respect and then... i lost it. last thursday night i told him on email how i felt, how lost i was. his reply was to tell me that this was all about 'him getting better'. he instigated no c...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

I'm happy!1 I'm living alone with my daughter and feeling good. Things with my Ah are fine, I joke with him that I see him more, now that we are not living together. Also, I successfully stated rules NO drinking in my place, and No coming by drunk. And yesterday he called me drunk and I had the ability to tel...

maresie · maresie

Well as you know one person who I had hoped was going to be a friend of mine let me down after promising to meet me sometime last week. This morning was the first time I've seen her since the "stood up". I discussed this issue in therapy so I was well aware this is something I'm pretty awkward at. ...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

Hello, I had some lovely responses to my situation when my AH announced from thousands of miles away, that he no longer loved me as a husband should love a wife, that people needed him more than he needed them, that he was like his father (always absent from his life) and that his alcohol problem wasnt goi...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well yesterday I feel like I passed a test finally:) EXABF sent me a comment to my blog about MY 12 step program.....said I was "absolutely glowing" (so he must have been checking out my picts also) and welcomed me to the world of recovery so to speak. The old me would have had to comment back...

desperate for help · desperate for help

Hello! I have been reading alot about alcohol poisioning. My AH drinks every night to the point of passing out every single time he drinks. In reading the information he as showed several symptoms of poisoning like being unconscious, his body sometimes shakes terribly, sometimes he will stop bre...

inhisarms · inhisarms

Hi Everyone! I am so excited to have found this board. My fiance is currently in treatment for drug/alcohol addiction. So far things are going well and he seems positive (has been in treatment before). I guess i am worried about life when he comes back. I hear so many horror stories about early rec...

Canary · Canary

My AH is in the hospital for his drinking. FInally after 3+ days worth, he is in detoxing. I went to see the alcohol counselor yesterday that I had set up for us. We were supposed to go together. He suggested that I go and see him last night. I did. Should I go again today???? I am in turmoil. As much as I know...

Cyn · Cyn

I am not a chaser - I am someone who runs. Every single time a relationship hits a rocky spot and the man in my life walks away from me, I change my number, and keep my distance. I cant fix my A - he is broken. He turns to alcohol to have a good time with friends, having to party it up and prove how cool he is. And...

Ness · Ness

A few of you have suggested that husb may like to come to meetings with me. He is always interested in hearing what I learn from f2f and from posting here. I feel however that if he were there at meetings with me my ability to share would be comprimised.....although I know we can participate in th...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	today was my 40th b-day and I didn't even get a cake! (Preview) It's childish, I know. But AH didn't even bother to get me a birthday cake. He was able to go pick up our take out food for dinner and get smashed while waiting for it, but couldn't think of me. My three kids felt so bad, but it's not their fault. They expected Dad to take of it. This disease really pisse...	desperate for help	26	1106	Mar 5, 2009 by desperate for help
	Last Night Was My Best Al-Anon Experience Ever!!!!! (Preview) Hello To ALL, I am in this program for myself. Taking care of yourself "first" is the first thing we are told when we walk through the doors of Al-Anon. We must never forget that. The second reason I am in the program is to give back, share with others my ESH of the experiences I have had or lea...	RLC	6	795	Mar 5, 2009 by Ness
	Add physical exercise (Preview) I love serenity.....can I share one new topic I used as a reply a minute ago? For me anyway, the new me HAD to add physical exercise. It is so theraputic and so good for you anyway - not to mention your outward appearance improves even if your inward appearance is about the wig-out! Everyone during ha...	Diane B	2	798	Mar 5, 2009 by Jean4444
	The Blame Game (Preview) I have a question. I live with an A and he drinks all the time. He says hurtful things and blames me for everything wrong and I'm the reason he drinks. The question is/ Why do I blame myself for his drinking?	Annie69	9	904	Mar 4, 2009 by Annie69
	Need ESH & Strength... LOTS OF IT!!! Part #2 (Preview) All (3) of you make very good points...(((((Shelly, Christy, WD))))))) June is the 6 month the state needed for me to settle dad's debts, they make you wait 6 months so that if there is anyone out there, that my father owed money then they have till then to get ahold of me...After June, they close all his c...	Jozie	2	741	Mar 4, 2009 by Jozie
	Husband Relapsed after 106 Days (Preview) I told him when he went into rehab last time (after a major binge) that this was it, if he drank again I was done and he'd have to move out. But he was really working the program and working on his issues until about two days ago. I saw the red flags before he did. New he was going to drink but couldn't do anythin...	Donna S	8	961	Mar 4, 2009 by Diane B
	Need ESH & Strength... LOTS OF IT!!! (Preview) OK....Well for those of you that have followed my drama... I have an Abrother, that I currantly HANDED a trailor that belonged to my AFather that past... Well Dad past in Nov. and I have been in charge of getting all his affairs in order... LUCKY ME!!! to make the long of it short, I paid the first (2) month...	Jozie	4	968	Mar 4, 2009 by Jerry F
	Feeling like a bull in a china shop... (Preview) Its like walking on eggshells. What is this about? Why am I so afraid to be who I am at my job? I guess its because if they do not approve or "like" me, they can fire me or ask me to leave. Its like there is this whole subtext there that I do not "get" and it keeps tripping me up- rules t...	Jean4444	8	578	Mar 4, 2009 by carolinagirl
	Sad day hearing from AH after 5 weeks (Preview) My AH finally returned from abroad on monday and got in touch this morning. I have said i dont want to see him because i have to protect myself and am frightened i would beg him to come back. He says its a mixture of chemistry and his mind that has caused this final split, he has left me many times before. This...	Lilly Burn	4	535	Mar 4, 2009 by Winddancer30
	Courage... (Preview) Okay family, Just heard today that the papers from my medical have been lost and the appeal that I am to attend tomorrow may be affected by this. My advizer says: If the medical report had been negative then my case is helped by the report being lost and not received by the tribunal; on the other hand if th...	Suzannah	5	698	Mar 4, 2009 by shellyj123
	withdrawing (Preview) My exab brings lots of madness and pain into my life. I have a good job I enjoy, two beautiful, healthy children. Enough money to pay my bills. My own health. Lots of friends in alanon, a loving mother, father and brother. Yet i miss him so much the closeness I know this shows me that I need time alone. ...	Tracy	3	701	Mar 4, 2009 by shellyj123
	update...... b/f alcoholic and now crack (Preview) Last post I was talking about leaving, well after finding out about him now smoking crack and the last argument when i threatened to have someome come beat on him for the treatment i was getting, He got a knife and pushed me to the otherside of room sticking the knife into the wall next to my head, and sayin...	maryam	5	924	Mar 4, 2009 by Diva
	Love Addiction (Preview) http://www.rachelresnick.com/QandA/index.html For me personally love addiction goes hand in hand with my codependency and they are core issues although I certainly have plenty of issues! There is an interesting memoir out at the moment that has a very good grasp on love addiction called love ju...	maresie	4	632	Mar 3, 2009 by curlee-girl
	don't leave until (Preview) "don't leave until the miracles start to happen" echos in my ears as I re-live last weeks happenings. 3 wks ago I told my AH I wanted to live in a non alcoholic home with a non alcoholic family. We might need to separate for 3 mos so at least our kids have one healthy parent. Then see what to do...	ddub	6	702	Mar 3, 2009 by Diane B
	Trouble keeping program and HP center stage. (Preview) I have noticed that since I finished my first round through the steps I am struggling to keep the program and HP the center of my life where I know both should be. Don't get me wrong I am still very much working the program but when I was working the steps more concentrated though the first round of the st...	shellyj123	6	743	Mar 3, 2009 by Jean4444
	Scared to death! (Preview) I'm going to try to sum up a really complicated situation. My boyfriend who is the greatest man I have ever had in my life has been informed by his HP that he must choose between me (who he loves as much as I love him) and his purpose in life (ie god's will for him or path for him). I posted a while back about ho...	carolinagirl	8	584	Mar 3, 2009 by Jean4444
	Perspectives.... (Preview) I was reminded the other day (and likely every day), of how much the perspectives that WE bring to every situation affect us, and our ability to manage / accept situations, people, etc.... It reminded me of a great story from John Gray - author of the Mars & Venus books.... One of his self-help tape...	canadianguy	8	645	Mar 3, 2009 by Suzannah
	Just when you thought you were safe....... (Preview) I have taken a little hiatus from MIP, but am now ready to rejoin you with renewed vigor. I will be catching up on all of you who I love so dearly, and getting to know the new members as well. I send best of good wishes to everyone. Diva	Diva	20	804	Mar 3, 2009 by Suzannah
	having a nervous breakdown (Preview) My 21 year old is in deep with drugs it appears. She hit a deer with her car, again. She received a $1600 check from insurance. She took the check, did not get the car repaired and has disapeared. She is not answering our calls or text messages. Now work called and says she hasn't shown up there. chances are...	gimmpy	5	852	Mar 3, 2009 by gimmpy
	Avoiding resentment (Preview) I had a tense moment with a friend tonight. She is having another party next weekend. As we were talking tonight, I asked what I could bring. She rattled off what she and another person are bringing, so I offered a salad. She said that would be "perfect" and then proceeded to tell me the gue...	glad lee	7	568	Mar 3, 2009 by Winddancer30
	What an UNBELIVABLE day~a parent's worst nightmare (Preview) AS most of you know that read my post yesterday, my son's 12th birthday, I started out not focused and trying to get there. After posting here I felt better, after praying on things I felt better, blessed and grateful. We were ready to start a beautiful birthday celebrating day. Got to the skating rin...	shellyj123	10	573	Mar 3, 2009 by Christy
	Cat and dog anaology.... (Preview) (((Family))), I hope you have all had a good weekend. To those of you that are in the path of the northeast snowstorm, stay safe. Please feel free to send some of it my way. I'm just slightly too far west of it to get any - maybe a flurry or two. You all know how much I love the snow. Anyway, my niece and I wer...	Karilynn	7	590	Mar 3, 2009 by Christy
	getting back to focusing on me. (Preview) I cannot do anything about my mom, my husband or anyone unless I first focus on me. I tend to get into their business too much. I am so grateful for their prescence in my life. Today I am sitting in the library trying to get my head together & do what is in front of me. This perticular day is a Monday &...	Hoot Nanny	3	554	Mar 2, 2009 by Jerry F
	What a ROller Coaster of a weekend!!!! (Preview) Well... It has been an Up & Down kind of weekend...Never boring that is for sure...Friday I had read in my devotional books that I should conquer my fears...Well I couldn't think of any...lol... Well 100% of the time since I started F2F meeting it has been my Sister in law... (Which I love that we sha...	Jozie	1	632	Mar 2, 2009 by maresie
	This is the place to bring the messes...(as I perceive them to be) (Preview) I am hating my job and I cannot seem to stop. I need to stop hating my job. I need to keep my job even though everything (sick) in me is screaming for me to quit. I just took a week off to deal with my storage unit leftover from my marriage which was a pretty horrible week, generally. Big bad reminders of tha...	Jean4444	8	571	Mar 2, 2009 by gngcrzy
	Struggling to stay in the now~In need of some ESH (Preview) Well today is my son's birthday and I was bound and determined last night that I would not project and worry my way through it....but here I am so I must need some ESH. I'm having quit the time staying focused.....but am diggin in with both feet and trying. To update a bit, my EXABF sent me an email and aske...	shellyj123	8	562	Mar 2, 2009 by Hoot Nanny
	you are my substitute (Preview) It was chaos at my house tonight. Don't even know what happened. My 4 yr old ended up hysterical because he didn't feel like he was being treated fairly in a video game with my daughter and the neighbors boys, my 15 yr old tried to fix it and became angry when he couldn't, and my daughter stirred the pot. As f...	Loupiness	6	528	Mar 2, 2009 by carolinagirl
	Remaining neutral and keeping strong for me (Preview) Yesterday was a bit rough to say the least. I turned my phone off for the last week, when I turned it on Thursday, there were 4 VM and 2 texts from my A. All very sweet, each VM a bit more urgent. So I called him back yesterday morning. He was overly sweet, excited to talk to me, couldnt really chat because...	Cyn	7	464	Mar 2, 2009 by shellyj123
	Johnny Cash at Folsom Prison (Preview) Last night I went to see Johnny Cash at Folsom prison which is an independent movie. As some of you may know Johnny and June Carter Cash gave a concert at Folsom prison. During that time Johnny met an accomplished musician, Glen Shirley and eventually championed him and when he was released from priso...	maresie	4	637	Mar 2, 2009 by Jean4444
	The Mens Rules which can also be some of Alanon's Tools (Preview) The Man Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear " the rules " From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered &...	Maria123	11	715	Mar 2, 2009 by barisax
	Breast Cancer - Helping Others (Preview) ((((Family)))), Recovery is all about taking care of ourselves. It's getting emotionally and physically healthy. It's about living strong. Every October I remind you to get those mamograms. A friend of mine who works for a nonprofit group sent me an email. She has thoroughly checked this site...	Karilynn	2	405	Mar 1, 2009 by belle1
	food addiction food addiction overeating (Preview) Hi all, I'm new to the board. I hope to get some help here, since I don't know where else to turn. my boyfriend of 3 years is a food addict. When I first started dating him, I had known him for years; he had ballooned in weight to what he said was 450lbs, and he had blamed his past really awful marriage for his o...	beachmum	3	1348	Mar 1, 2009 by Goodgran
	Spirit/mind (Preview) I am very confused my inner voice/gods will comes to me when I meditate and through other alanoners, literature etc. All this guidance tells me I need to love me, that its not my responsibility to control, rescue others. That I am powerless over the A and I need to make healthy choices for myself.. I k...	Tracy	3	483	Feb 28, 2009 by serendipity
	I am new to this board... (Preview) Hi There I am in a complicated situation. Based on some actions I took before I joined Al-Anon and learned I was powerless. I am since trying my best to let go. Heres what went on. My husband has an alcohol problem that he is working on. But until he started working on it, things were bad. Every other month h...	Lucie	6	466	Feb 28, 2009 by Karilynn
	responsibility (Preview) Wow just recieved guidance from HP thanks to another al anon memeber. I try to fix everything make everything o.k. This means I control (try) people take on their responsibilities try and run their lives. I do this for two reasons because I care for them but also to create the life I desire. But I have...	Tracy	2	388	Feb 28, 2009 by maresie
	Teaching our children about faith (Preview) My son came home yesterday completely devastated. He had left his IPOD on the school bus and just knew he would never see it again. It hurt him even more because he had worked making clay pens and snakes and selling them, and saved every penny to buy it with, and $250 is ALOT of money for a child to make on h...	shellyj123	5	654	Feb 28, 2009 by Peggy7
	recommending Transforming Our Losses on Depression (Preview) On Wednesday I split off altogether from my crazy friend. I feel like an a**hole for doing it but I was losing my mind. I spent yesterday and the day before depressed and numb. It's hard to get out of bed. My phone doesn't work. My wallet disappeared. I feel like my sponsor's pretty well sick of me and g...	gngcrzy	8	647	Feb 28, 2009 by Tracy
	problem (Preview) every time I submit a new post one of those little black ticks is at the side saying no posts. How do I get rid of this so people asnwer my posts? -- Edited by Tracy at 10:41, 2009-02-28 -- Edited by Tracy at 10:42, 2009-02-28	Tracy	0	368	Feb 28, 2009 by Tracy
	Stressful Week..... (Preview) It has been a hard week, my AS has been on a binge this week came in and made got me so very upset, I tried to be calm and matter of fact, but after he left I was a wreck. I gave him food and some snacks to take with him, I am not at the place yet where I can completely put him out of my life. I look at him and I see what he...	DreamsOver	8	519	Feb 28, 2009 by shellyj123
	Got a job offer (Preview) I requested an internal transfer. I interviewed. I received a letter offering me the job. I think it would be a good move to learn a new subject area. Learn new skills. Something to put on my resume. Same pay. I would get away from an antagonistic co-worker. Well, it would put me in the same dept. as my AHso...	nmike	11	621	Feb 27, 2009 by Toto814
	Letting go day in day out (Preview) At the moment I am working very consciously to shed the victim role which I am very famiiar with. Besides an attitude change for me it means lots of letting go. When I give someone something I have to let go of how they use it. When I am misunderstood often I have to let go that people don't understand me....	maresie	6	672	Feb 27, 2009 by Ness
	Why are all the stories the same (Preview) This is what I dont understand. It seems to be the same story from everyone. The A drinks too much, crosses serious lines in relationships, then moves out and runs away from everything leaving destruction behind. Why is it the same story? What is it about this disease that makes them so selfish and...	Cyn	18	674	Feb 27, 2009 by Ness
	What a Morning.... Love my Lt. Sissy... (Preview) Well this morning I was slow moving... Couldn't be my Mo Jo together to get up and get my feet in "Go" mode... Well after hitting the snooze button several times, my handsome son comes up the steps with the look of "Mom Is Still In Bed?" So I carried my lazy butt down the steps and hit t...	Jozie	5	496	Feb 27, 2009 by Hoot Nanny
	Building a relationship with HP... (Preview) I have been working and reworking step 2 and 3 for a while now. Today, during a deliberate consultation with my HP I started thinking about how capable I have been in having an imaginary relationship with my aH and how easy it was (is) for me to create something that isn't. It can be good. It can be bad. I hav...	Rora	3	612	Feb 27, 2009 by hotrod
	Am I cracking up? (Preview) (((((Family)))), Am I cracking up (Christy don't answer that! ) or does it appear to others that the lists of posts and their fonts have gotten smaller? I have increased the text size, but it still seems to me like the heading above the lists of post has remained the same, but the topic list has shrunk. ...	Karilynn	7	534	Feb 27, 2009 by ddub
	Words from my HP (Preview) So, I was driving home last week, thinking and thinking and thinking about the path my AH is taking. His father told me he wouldn't be surprised if the A lost everything AGAIN and had to go back to their place. So I was unconsciusly working out a plan of what WE would do when HE lost everything LOL, and aski...	Priscilla83	4	470	Feb 27, 2009 by ddub
	How do deal...How to heal??? (Preview) My husband passed from alcoholic poisoning and I'm having a difficult time. Some of his family blames me for his death. I tried to get him help more than once. I took him to detox but it didn't stick. So i gave him and ultimatum to chose his family and get help or his addiction. a few days later he got check in...	angel mom	10	709	Feb 27, 2009 by Christy
	Something that bothers me here... (Preview) Our dear Maria is always the one to post everyone's Birthday. (Even just after having surgery.) Thanks Maria, I think it's so thoughtful of you to remember and take the time. Here's what bothers me...you can see how many people took the time to view the "happy birthday" post. How hard is i...	Christy	13	722	Feb 27, 2009 by Christy
	Hope for Today... (Preview) Today's passage from Hope for Today describes how I have forgiven in the past...accepting unacceptable behaviors...I was more less trying to forget it than to forgive. That is why I sunk deep into the past events and relive them over and over in my mind. I have not truly worked through the resentments...	brightmommy	3	460	Feb 27, 2009 by nmike
	Codependant crazies......Out of control like a snowball heading downhill (Preview) "Please free my thinking of self will, self seeking, dishonesty and wrong motives". That is a part of a prayer I pray every morning, usually before my feet hit the floor. Yesterday was no different, of course with some limited contact from the EXABF on Tuesday, again my world was feeling a...	shellyj123	9	1079	Feb 26, 2009 by luvinmom
	please help me (Preview) see my last thread to understand this. i haven't the strength to repeat it. he made contact and we spoke to each other with respect and then... i lost it. last thursday night i told him on email how i felt, how lost i was. his reply was to tell me that this was all about 'him getting better'. he instigated no c...	tabi1	20	800	Feb 26, 2009 by kitty
	Happy!! (Preview) I'm happy!1 I'm living alone with my daughter and feeling good. Things with my Ah are fine, I joke with him that I see him more, now that we are not living together. Also, I successfully stated rules NO drinking in my place, and No coming by drunk. And yesterday he called me drunk and I had the ability to tel...	Priscilla83	5	450	Feb 26, 2009 by Priscilla83
	Good awkward, bad awkward (Preview) Well as you know one person who I had hoped was going to be a friend of mine let me down after promising to meet me sometime last week. This morning was the first time I've seen her since the "stood up". I discussed this issue in therapy so I was well aware this is something I'm pretty awkward at. ...	maresie	5	1129	Feb 26, 2009 by maresie
	Back from Dubai and still waiting in limbo..... (Preview) Hello, I had some lovely responses to my situation when my AH announced from thousands of miles away, that he no longer loved me as a husband should love a wife, that people needed him more than he needed them, that he was like his father (always absent from his life) and that his alcohol problem wasnt goi...	Lilly Burn	7	1039	Feb 26, 2009 by Lilly Burn
	The OLD me v/s the NEW me......... (Preview) Well yesterday I feel like I passed a test finally:) EXABF sent me a comment to my blog about MY 12 step program.....said I was "absolutely glowing" (so he must have been checking out my picts also) and welcomed me to the world of recovery so to speak. The old me would have had to comment back...	shellyj123	9	611	Feb 26, 2009 by Jean4444
	Alcohol Poisioning (Preview) Hello! I have been reading alot about alcohol poisioning. My AH drinks every night to the point of passing out every single time he drinks. In reading the information he as showed several symptoms of poisoning like being unconscious, his body sometimes shakes terribly, sometimes he will stop bre...	desperate for help	5	628	Feb 25, 2009 by Christy
	Newbie to alanon, life after treatment (Preview) Hi Everyone! I am so excited to have found this board. My fiance is currently in treatment for drug/alcohol addiction. So far things are going well and he seems positive (has been in treatment before). I guess i am worried about life when he comes back. I hear so many horror stories about early rec...	inhisarms	8	687	Feb 25, 2009 by Jozie
	Do I go to see him in the hospital or do I not?? Wow...tough one. (Preview) My AH is in the hospital for his drinking. FInally after 3+ days worth, he is in detoxing. I went to see the alcohol counselor yesterday that I had set up for us. We were supposed to go together. He suggested that I go and see him last night. I did. Should I go again today???? I am in turmoil. As much as I know...	Canary	10	544	Feb 25, 2009 by inhisarms
	Allowing others to move forward and keeping steady myself (Preview) I am not a chaser - I am someone who runs. Every single time a relationship hits a rocky spot and the man in my life walks away from me, I change my number, and keep my distance. I cant fix my A - he is broken. He turns to alcohol to have a good time with friends, having to party it up and prove how cool he is. And...	Cyn	5	519	Feb 25, 2009 by maresie
	f2f as a couple....any thoughts on this? (Preview) A few of you have suggested that husb may like to come to meetings with me. He is always interested in hearing what I learn from f2f and from posting here. I feel however that if he were there at meetings with me my ability to share would be comprimised.....although I know we can participate in th...	Ness	7	520	Feb 25, 2009 by Ness
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.