Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

gngcrzy · gngcrzy

I broke things off with my qualifier over Christmas. Last Sunday he made a date for this Sunday (yesterday) to sort of reconnect and see how things stand. Okay- I'll give it a shot. (Cue 7 days of angsting over it- should I cancel? How am I going to stay serene and not punch him in the nose?) Turned out I did...

Maria123 · Maria123

Hurt people hurt people. I got it, or so I thought. I learned that all those invitations for fights that I chose to go to only led me to hurt people. If someone lashed out at me, my instinctive reaction was to lambaste them right back and harder if I could. Now I know. I got that part through many, many 24 ho...

maire rua · maire rua

This evening, my neighbour called to ask me about my son's anti social behaviour on the school bus, yes at first I swallowed a load of baloney but finally got to what I think is the truth of the matter. Having laid away a lot of the night, I have decided not to enable my son by covering up for him. He can apolog...

CAM0914 · CAM0914

I feel like crap? i've been sober for over two years now, going to meetings, working my program - doing okay and actually getting better every day, except for this: i recently have been seeing some friends who are very active with alcohol among other things, and they have a way of making me feel very gui...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I am super stressed out. I am on my way to a storage unit that my ex AH dumped my stuff into after I left. I had tried to go back and get some of my things but he refused to let me in "his" house with a friend to help carry stuff. The courts and our attny's decided this was the best thing- have him dec...

tabi1 · tabi1

hey, i met my husband 3 and a half years ago online. he's australian and i'm in the uk. he told me within the first couple of weeks that he was a recovering alcoholic. he's not had a drink since 1987. from the begining he liked to have control over when we spoke and for how long. i was shocked at how needy i...

Rora · Rora

I didn't want to "steal the thread" off of Jean and sidetrack her very deserving appreciation of not being on the rollercoaster, so I decided to post a new thread with the thoughts she provoked in me with her thread, "Not getting all whipped up and its really a good thing" I find wi...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Finally finished up my first round through the steps and am now just kind of sitting back letting it all sink in. I was thinking back today, where I was when I first came into this program...still with EXABF and KNOWING I needed help but not really there yet. Just starting to lerk on the boards some. The...

Tracy · Tracy

went to a f2f meeting tonight the subject was self deception. I had a ah ha moment and guilt started to seep into my thoughts I have been focusing on my AB'S behaviours ,thoughts etc etc. I have been trying to fix his life make him into the man i need. He is sick very sick and I am ashamed at the pressure I h...

Jozie · Jozie

I have been told many times... Your past is your past, so leave it there, but as I work thru this program one day at a time...My past "Is'nt" Just my past...It is a part of who I am and who I have become.. It is me... I have a ASister that "Claims" she doesn't remember ANYTHING from our c...

wp · wp

I can't get into the chat room for the meeting ; it just won't load, so maybe others are having the same problem? Just wondered. pw

Jozie · Jozie

Well I woke up this morning with high hopes of making my (usually Difficult) Monday, a good day... My son had a delay, so that put my morning on hold some, and then as I getting ready to load him on the bus I get a phone call telling me that "YET ANOTHER" on of my Old Friends had Overdosed, and not ma...

Tracy · Tracy

My Ab is sow low using all his will to get me to rescue him. He is threatening suicide etc etc. I am emtionally drained by his illness I drove him to a place where he could get help for his problems alocohol/cocaine use. There is a lot of emtional stuff to be dealt with too. He is asking for my supprt but ev...

rorussell9 · rorussell9

I could really use some response. I've been crying all day. I know nothing about drugs and alcohol.I can see how crazy it makes my child. Tough love is really hard for me because I've been codependent with this child from day one. He's an adopted specialneeds child. It's hardnot to be the care taker....

Cin238 · Cin238

Hi everyone...I'm new here and am hoping to get some advice before I drive myself nuts. I've sat in front of my computer for five minutes now, not knowing where to start. I'll try to keep this simple. My ABF is currently in rehab and coming home soon. I'm a wreck because I don't know how to handle this or him...

Loupiness · Loupiness

"If the only prayer you say in your life is 'Thank you,' that would suffice." - Meister Eckart This was the quote on the program passed out at the funeral I went to yesterday for a 22 yr old who was killed by 18 yr old drunk driver. The guy went through a red light at 70 mph. He walked away from the ac...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

My family has been dealing with his addiction for ten years, those years have been about him stealing from us, lying to us, and causing such upheaval in our lives. We adopted our son when he was 5 mos. old, it couldn't have been a happier day for our family, we loved him and always told him the truth about hi...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Last night at my f2f meeting the topic was gratitude. It was so nice to listen to everyone share something good and happy that was going on in their lives, as we all know Alcoholism does not always bring out the good and happy in us. When I got home I got to thinking about how I was when I began here and how far...

Tracy · Tracy

My ab is supposed to be going for help on tuesday. This got me thinking even if he doesnt drink , even if he stops using cocaine. HE has hurt me so much over the past 4 years. He has no job and no prospects of a good one. He is very irrisponsible and lives for the day. I on the other hand have a good job, I am w...

brightmommy · brightmommy

My struggle is how to move forward after all the hurt and pain that has been caused by the addiction in a marriage. My husband is now in recovery and has been for 7 months this time. He has said and done a lot of things during the active addiction that he would not normally do. He has had several emotional...

Canary · Canary

So, after 3 full days of drinking, my husband is in a hospital. His sister went and found him....brought him to a meeting. AH was saying he was going to kill himself. So, she called thepolice and they brought him to the hospital. She called me to tell me that he is there. And when I said that I wouldn't come...

Canary · Canary

I so believe in things happening for a reason. Just like how the book Getting THem Sober arrived in my mailbox the day my AH started drinking again and I was faced with having to deal with it. It was my miracle. It could have come any other day...but it came then. Then today, while at work, my nurse manager c...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family)))), Just wanted to say thank you for all your wonderful replies. I just needed some afffirmation what I did know in my heart. I need to turn sister and her family over to their HP. All I can do is be there for my nieces when they need me. It's frustrating for me, as it is for everyone who goe...

maresie · maresie

In April it will be two years since I left the ex A. I physically moved out from him two years ago. About this time I was frantically working a really basic plan be. I have to say its taken two years to emerge from the grief, rage and shadow of his chaos. I think its also taken two years to let go, let go of th...

ddub · ddub

I have been in a holding pattern probably longer than I am aware of but at least I am aware now. This holding pattern I can accept now as ok as I have learned that I may still be confused. Is it a positive to understand more or gather courage to take the next step or could it be a negative frought with fear or l...

gngcrzy · gngcrzy

I just started therapy for the first time ever. The therapist is very familiar with and supportive of Al-anon. Yesterday was my third session and it felt like it's dredging up 100 resentments and hurts I thought I'd gotten past with Al-anon help. I feel like Al-anon is all about moving on. Just for to...

luvinmom · luvinmom

My son was discharged today from his 3/4 house and after doing his laundry he went to take a AA meeting. From there he was checking back in a halfway house. He really likes the support and understanding has spent the last 2 two months taking a long hard look at himself and his drinking. He says he knows i...

Monica77 · Monica77

So, I'm new to this group. I'm hoping that through chatting and sharing that I will be able to get over some hurdles from the past. Both my parents were alcoholics and drugs addicts when i was growing up. they are clean now (a huge blessing I appreciate fully) but I still hold onto a lot of my junk. now i f...

Jozie · Jozie

I found a carrot and two lumps of coal on my sidewalk and wondered what they were doing there. I thought it odd. Suddenly remembering that a snowman once stood on that place, I chuckled at my own suspicious thoughts. Even so I had an eerie feeling of something strangely familiar. I kept staring at the coa...

Canary · Canary

I fear for his life but I am not looking for him. I am not calling him. So, I sit and wait for the phone ring. But not really wait. I am going to work....finding babysitters for my babies and talking to friends, trying not to isolate. But I still fear. He is 53 years old.....a diabetic and drinking now for al...

mia883 · mia883

Anyone knows how the expression came about? "Take what you like and leave the rest" Who uses it? When is it used? Why is it used? Where is it used? How is it used? What does it mean? Jenny -- Edited by mia883 at 19:39, 2009-02-20 -- Edited by canadianguy at 01:26, 2009-02-24

nmike · nmike

I am futurizing. I am anticipating seeing my AHsober at meetings today. Hate it. He ignores me, works the room, and the rest is stilted. So I read my daily reading about detachment. I will try. I am saying my Alanon slogans. And coming here for support. Thanks, Nancy

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I have recently re-connected with the old love of my life that I had not seen in over a decade. We had a really pleasant time together last weekend. We have both changed and mellowed quite a bit. We are both a decade older. He is not an A but he was raised ACoA, like I was. We both have been affected by the...

Codependent · Codependent

5 days sober and two days off the Kolonopin. I go back to the psychiatrist and just going to tell him I didn't think I needed it anymore. I'm still on zoloft but proud of myself for getting rid of the Kolonopin. Feeling more hopeful. Thanks for the support!

rorussell9 · rorussell9

Two days agoI had to ask my diabled18 year old to leave. He is escalating in crazy behavior and I worried for the safety of the other two children in the home. He is very codependent on me. I don't know anything about alcohol or drugs. I need help because my heart is aching and I'm worried about him becomin...

Canary · Canary

This is an update to my post yesterday. Yes, he was/is drinking. I finally heard from him more than 48 hours later. He called me sobbing and crying, begging me to come and help him. He wanted me to get a babysitter and come and take care of him. He was apologizing left and right and then proceeded to tell me h...

cliquishPeopleSuck · cliquishPeopleSuck

Hello: I am an adult child of an alcoholic who recently started to attend Al-Anon meetings. I am seriously thinking of not attending them any more. Many of the people at those meetings struck me as unfriendly. It seems that they don't welcome newcomers, and prefer to just stick with their friends...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

After another night of almost no sleep, I made it to work looking less than presentable, but still here nonetheless. Sat down at my desk and opened my emails, to find yet another "chain" email about how if I forward it to X amount of people, and make a wish, it will come true. After be...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Ok, another video: Go to Yahoo! and click on the video "From $700K to $10/hour." Wow. I mean, if anyone has a "right to resent," this man has lost EVERYTHING. His wife doesn't even have a resenment! (Or not one they're willing to talk about publicly) "I feel sorry for him...

java · java

I am in need of some encouragement and e,s & h shares. As I have posted earlier my dry drunk AH left Valentines Day eve, because he once again was trying to control people places and things, mainly my 11 year old daughter who he asked Do you want me to leave? She said yes and he left. I was so relieved and m...

Maria Agnes · Maria Agnes

Can anyone help me please? I left my husband after 25 years of marriage and 3 children ten years ago as I could no longer cope with his drinking. I stopped visiting him when the situation became unbearable and then after a couple of years he was hospitalized with many health problems due to drink. It w...

merry · merry

Well, he is drinking again and called from a friends house last night to say he couldnt drive home. I love him, he is an amazing man, but 1 year ago I packed my bags and told him I couldnt stay if he was drinking. He said he would change, i unpacked, and he was sober and attending AA for 6 months. 6 months ago...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I was just wondering if anyone else has noticed a gain in their weight since going into recovery/beginning AlAnon. For me I have noticed at LEAST 7lbs finding their way back and was wondering if there is any connection between recovery and weight gain?? I've read that sometimes addicts, etc wi...

maresie · maresie

As I've said in previous posts I met a woman recently who I felt had potential to be a friend. This week I've learned to hold my boundaries no matter what. She had made an arrangement with a friend of mine who flaked on her. She then called me repeatedly asking me to go get him for her. I didn't do it. Nor...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family)))), Okay my dear family I need your help. Most of you know that my brother-in-law is an addict (to what I am not sure - painkillers, crack? not alcohol). Several years ago he burnt the garage down because he was making crack. One of the fire fighters said they had never seen a fire burn ...

Jozie · Jozie

Often times we wonder about things, and for some reason thru all this reading I have done on the board today, it has brought back ALOT of times in my life that wasn't so cheerie.. As I think of all times back when I was drinking at a very young age, all the horrible things that happened to me. Not thru my Afath...

Brizzle Gal · Brizzle Gal

I am so full of hatred this day. I hate my life, I hate my job, I hate the daily grind, I hate the fact that I haven't got the courage to leave my AGF but I hate the time that I'm with her more and more, I hate it when people say I should leave and feel sorry for me because I stay, I hate the fact that I'm exhausted aft...

maryam · maryam

here is the latest news he is now smoking crack!!!I cannot believe this, found alot of withdrawls from bank several times a day and found that his so called drinking buddies to crack and sell it to him,he said about a week now. had a incident where he would not let me sleep on the couch and was taking the bla...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Some friends of ours lost their 22 yr old son this past weekend to an 18 yr old drunk driver. So very tragic. It is very strange, but I find myself going into denial mode so that I do not feel obligated to go to the memorials/funerals. Part of me doesn't want to acknowledge it at all. I feel so ashamed and se...

Jerry F · Jerry F

(((((MIP))))) I know I was taught that expectations were future resentments. I know that I got it or thought or came very close to getting it. So why was I at that meeting this morning after an alcoholic asked "Are you going tomorrow morning? I really need to be there!" Of course you all k...

maresie · maresie

As you all know my living situation is less than desirable. A friend of mine has recently been laid off (who hasn't) and I am hoping he might offer to rent me a portion of his house again. I haven't asked. I 'm not going to ask but if he offers I'll take it. I've been really busy setting up a plan a, b.c. I did...

Sower · Sower

I'm new to this board and am seeking advice regarding my alcoholic son. The behaviors he has engaged in, in our home over the last 4-5 years have completely overcome my life and my husbands. He has serious resentment issues with me which I am having difficulty understanding his perception. To fu...

Jozie · Jozie

Sometimes when I have time to sit and think, I sometimes go back to the times when My family was a whole and my parents were together, BEFORE my father became an A, I remember all the great Christmas's and all the Great holidays, and now looking back I have come to realize that "THEN" in my mind...

david62 · david62

Good morning, (((Family))) I was getting out of the shower this morning and looked at the clock that I have in there to see if I was running late or not. Then I remembered that the clock in my bathroom has a low battery in it, and has for a couple of weeks now been "running slow". I reminded mysel...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I am soooo at my wits end right now and not sure how to get it together at this point. I am tired,completely and utterly physically exhausted at this point, my house is a nightmare, work is at it's busiest and I can barely concentrate. My son has been really sick since Monday, and I found out yest...

Tree · Tree

I'm having a hard time with not trying to "control" him. Some things I read say I need to just chill out, have fun- work on making me happy... but then I read about "enabling" and find that if I think it's unexceptable that he's not going to AA meetings and having "a drink onc...

Saved By Grace · Saved By Grace

I am not new to the rooms of recovery but feel like I am due to the present circumstances. I had been involved a man for about two years. I thought he was probably the sweetest, most attentive and loving man I had ever met. I didn't see any signs of alcoholism or any other addictions, so I did not exactly proc...

Gessie · Gessie

Hello. I am brand-new to this...I never even heard of Al-Anon until recently. I'm not sure how this all works, but I am in need of some support I suppose. I am married to an alcoholic. We have been married for two years and have a 11 month old daughter. We recently relocated to another state, far away...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I added a chair rail and painted all woodwork white. I used a sage green under the chair rail. With a color two shades lighter mixed with glaze and a wash technique above the chair rail. Floors were stripped, rewaxed and buffed. All windows were cleaned inside and out. All wall decorations changed plac...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, As some of you know, I took the bereaved step mothers dog, it has worked out good, took a bit of effort, but I love her to bits. I have less contact with my father now, he does not ring me, I ring to see if all is ok, and am cordial, though I do not like him as a person but he is my father and eighty and livin...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	My brain sucks (Preview) I broke things off with my qualifier over Christmas. Last Sunday he made a date for this Sunday (yesterday) to sort of reconnect and see how things stand. Okay- I'll give it a shot. (Cue 7 days of angsting over it- should I cancel? How am I going to stay serene and not punch him in the nose?) Turned out I did...	gngcrzy	6	629	Feb 24, 2009 by maresie
	Hurt People Hurt People - Take Two (Preview) Hurt people hurt people. I got it, or so I thought. I learned that all those invitations for fights that I chose to go to only led me to hurt people. If someone lashed out at me, my instinctive reaction was to lambaste them right back and harder if I could. Now I know. I got that part through many, many 24 ho...	Maria123	6	727	Feb 24, 2009 by Cyn
	Fear, lack of focus (Preview) This evening, my neighbour called to ask me about my son's anti social behaviour on the school bus, yes at first I swallowed a load of baloney but finally got to what I think is the truth of the matter. Having laid away a lot of the night, I have decided not to enable my son by covering up for him. He can apolog...	maire rua	3	434	Feb 24, 2009 by maresie
	Why do....? (Preview) I feel like crap? i've been sober for over two years now, going to meetings, working my program - doing okay and actually getting better every day, except for this: i recently have been seeing some friends who are very active with alcohol among other things, and they have a way of making me feel very gui...	CAM0914	6	507	Feb 24, 2009 by Karilynn
	Getting triggered... (Preview) I am super stressed out. I am on my way to a storage unit that my ex AH dumped my stuff into after I left. I had tried to go back and get some of my things but he refused to let me in "his" house with a friend to help carry stuff. The courts and our attny's decided this was the best thing- have him dec...	Jean4444	6	363	Feb 24, 2009 by Karilynn
	tired, hurt and confused (Preview) hey, i met my husband 3 and a half years ago online. he's australian and i'm in the uk. he told me within the first couple of weeks that he was a recovering alcoholic. he's not had a drink since 1987. from the begining he liked to have control over when we spoke and for how long. i was shocked at how needy i...	tabi1	10	777	Feb 24, 2009 by Cyn
	Spin off of Jean4444 post....relationships and drama (Preview) I didn't want to "steal the thread" off of Jean and sidetrack her very deserving appreciation of not being on the rollercoaster, so I decided to post a new thread with the thoughts she provoked in me with her thread, "Not getting all whipped up and its really a good thing" I find wi...	Rora	4	606	Feb 23, 2009 by Jerry F
	Twelve of the most rewarding steps I've ever taken~ (Preview) Finally finished up my first round through the steps and am now just kind of sitting back letting it all sink in. I was thinking back today, where I was when I first came into this program...still with EXABF and KNOWING I needed help but not really there yet. Just starting to lerk on the boards some. The...	shellyj123	4	432	Feb 23, 2009 by luvinmom
	self deception (Preview) went to a f2f meeting tonight the subject was self deception. I had a ah ha moment and guilt started to seep into my thoughts I have been focusing on my AB'S behaviours ,thoughts etc etc. I have been trying to fix his life make him into the man i need. He is sick very sick and I am ashamed at the pressure I h...	Tracy	5	710	Feb 23, 2009 by luvinmom
	My slow bettering steps... (Preview) I have been told many times... Your past is your past, so leave it there, but as I work thru this program one day at a time...My past "Is'nt" Just my past...It is a part of who I am and who I have become.. It is me... I have a ASister that "Claims" she doesn't remember ANYTHING from our c...	Jozie	9	583	Feb 23, 2009 by Jozie
	room won't open (Preview) I can't get into the chat room for the meeting ; it just won't load, so maybe others are having the same problem? Just wondered. pw	wp	6	393	Feb 23, 2009 by Christy
	Somethings I guess are just not ment tobe understood... (Preview) Well I woke up this morning with high hopes of making my (usually Difficult) Monday, a good day... My son had a delay, so that put my morning on hold some, and then as I getting ready to load him on the bus I get a phone call telling me that "YET ANOTHER" on of my Old Friends had Overdosed, and not ma...	Jozie	8	636	Feb 23, 2009 by hotrod
	kindness weakness (Preview) My Ab is sow low using all his will to get me to rescue him. He is threatening suicide etc etc. I am emtionally drained by his illness I drove him to a place where he could get help for his problems alocohol/cocaine use. There is a lot of emtional stuff to be dealt with too. He is asking for my supprt but ev...	Tracy	6	707	Feb 23, 2009 by maresie
	looking for support (Preview) I could really use some response. I've been crying all day. I know nothing about drugs and alcohol.I can see how crazy it makes my child. Tough love is really hard for me because I've been codependent with this child from day one. He's an adopted specialneeds child. It's hardnot to be the care taker....	rorussell9	7	478	Feb 23, 2009 by maresie
	New here...Alcoholic Boyfriend coming home from Rehab..need advice (Preview) Hi everyone...I'm new here and am hoping to get some advice before I drive myself nuts. I've sat in front of my computer for five minutes now, not knowing where to start. I'll try to keep this simple. My ABF is currently in rehab and coming home soon. I'm a wreck because I don't know how to handle this or him...	Cin238	6	4229	Feb 23, 2009 by maresie
	a lesson in forgiveness... (Preview) "If the only prayer you say in your life is 'Thank you,' that would suffice." - Meister Eckart This was the quote on the program passed out at the funeral I went to yesterday for a 22 yr old who was killed by 18 yr old drunk driver. The guy went through a red light at 70 mph. He walked away from the ac...	Loupiness	7	568	Feb 23, 2009 by maresie
	My Son..... (Preview) My family has been dealing with his addiction for ten years, those years have been about him stealing from us, lying to us, and causing such upheaval in our lives. We adopted our son when he was 5 mos. old, it couldn't have been a happier day for our family, we loved him and always told him the truth about hi...	DreamsOver	4	370	Feb 23, 2009 by maresie
	Keys to a whole new life~ (Preview) Last night at my f2f meeting the topic was gratitude. It was so nice to listen to everyone share something good and happy that was going on in their lives, as we all know Alcoholism does not always bring out the good and happy in us. When I got home I got to thinking about how I was when I began here and how far...	shellyj123	2	488	Feb 23, 2009 by maresie
	need to stick to it (Preview) My ab is supposed to be going for help on tuesday. This got me thinking even if he doesnt drink , even if he stops using cocaine. HE has hurt me so much over the past 4 years. He has no job and no prospects of a good one. He is very irrisponsible and lives for the day. I on the other hand have a good job, I am w...	Tracy	5	378	Feb 23, 2009 by maresie
	how to move foward... (Preview) My struggle is how to move forward after all the hurt and pain that has been caused by the addiction in a marriage. My husband is now in recovery and has been for 7 months this time. He has said and done a lot of things during the active addiction that he would not normally do. He has had several emotional...	brightmommy	5	556	Feb 23, 2009 by maresie
	Well, my AH is now in the hospital. His family wants me to rescue.....and I won't (Preview) So, after 3 full days of drinking, my husband is in a hospital. His sister went and found him....brought him to a meeting. AH was saying he was going to kill himself. So, she called thepolice and they brought him to the hospital. She called me to tell me that he is there. And when I said that I wouldn't come...	Canary	4	543	Feb 23, 2009 by maresie
	I truly know that God is carrying me. (Preview) I so believe in things happening for a reason. Just like how the book Getting THem Sober arrived in my mailbox the day my AH started drinking again and I was faced with having to deal with it. It was my miracle. It could have come any other day...but it came then. Then today, while at work, my nurse manager c...	Canary	4	418	Feb 23, 2009 by maresie
	Thank you. (Preview) (((((Family)))), Just wanted to say thank you for all your wonderful replies. I just needed some afffirmation what I did know in my heart. I need to turn sister and her family over to their HP. All I can do is be there for my nieces when they need me. It's frustrating for me, as it is for everyone who goe...	Karilynn	3	481	Feb 23, 2009 by maresie
	Two years on emerging with a new focus. (Preview) In April it will be two years since I left the ex A. I physically moved out from him two years ago. About this time I was frantically working a really basic plan be. I have to say its taken two years to emerge from the grief, rage and shadow of his chaos. I think its also taken two years to let go, let go of th...	maresie	3	466	Feb 23, 2009 by maresie
	courage (Preview) I have been in a holding pattern probably longer than I am aware of but at least I am aware now. This holding pattern I can accept now as ok as I have learned that I may still be confused. Is it a positive to understand more or gather courage to take the next step or could it be a negative frought with fear or l...	ddub	6	582	Feb 23, 2009 by maresie
	Another question about therapy (Preview) I just started therapy for the first time ever. The therapist is very familiar with and supportive of Al-anon. Yesterday was my third session and it felt like it's dredging up 100 resentments and hurts I thought I'd gotten past with Al-anon help. I feel like Al-anon is all about moving on. Just for to...	gngcrzy	8	530	Feb 23, 2009 by kitty
	frightening experience (Preview) My son was discharged today from his 3/4 house and after doing his laundry he went to take a AA meeting. From there he was checking back in a halfway house. He really likes the support and understanding has spent the last 2 two months taking a long hard look at himself and his drinking. He says he knows i...	luvinmom	5	570	Feb 23, 2009 by Maria123
	dealing with perfectionism (Preview) So, I'm new to this group. I'm hoping that through chatting and sharing that I will be able to get over some hurdles from the past. Both my parents were alcoholics and drugs addicts when i was growing up. they are clean now (a huge blessing I appreciate fully) but I still hold onto a lot of my junk. now i f...	Monica77	6	1596	Feb 23, 2009 by Maria123
	Feb. 22 Readings...HOPE FOR ME!!! (Preview) I found a carrot and two lumps of coal on my sidewalk and wondered what they were doing there. I thought it odd. Suddenly remembering that a snowman once stood on that place, I chuckled at my own suspicious thoughts. Even so I had an eerie feeling of something strangely familiar. I kept staring at the coa...	Jozie	3	459	Feb 23, 2009 by Maria123
	Day 3 of his constant drinking adn I fear for his life. (Preview) I fear for his life but I am not looking for him. I am not calling him. So, I sit and wait for the phone ring. But not really wait. I am going to work....finding babysitters for my babies and talking to friends, trying not to isolate. But I still fear. He is 53 years old.....a diabetic and drinking now for al...	Canary	8	625	Feb 22, 2009 by troyo
	"Take what you like and leave the rest"? what does that mean? (Preview) Anyone knows how the expression came about? "Take what you like and leave the rest" Who uses it? When is it used? Why is it used? Where is it used? How is it used? What does it mean? Jenny -- Edited by mia883 at 19:39, 2009-02-20 -- Edited by canadianguy at 01:26, 2009-02-24	mia883	8	870	Feb 22, 2009 by wp
	Anticipation (Preview) I am futurizing. I am anticipating seeing my AHsober at meetings today. Hate it. He ignores me, works the room, and the rest is stilted. So I read my daily reading about detachment. I will try. I am saying my Alanon slogans. And coming here for support. Thanks, Nancy	nmike	8	571	Feb 21, 2009 by shellyj123
	Not getting all whipped up and its really such a good thing! (Preview) I have recently re-connected with the old love of my life that I had not seen in over a decade. We had a really pleasant time together last weekend. We have both changed and mellowed quite a bit. We are both a decade older. He is not an A but he was raised ACoA, like I was. We both have been affected by the...	Jean4444	3	531	Feb 21, 2009 by Loupiness
	Sobriety (Preview) 5 days sober and two days off the Kolonopin. I go back to the psychiatrist and just going to tell him I didn't think I needed it anymore. I'm still on zoloft but proud of myself for getting rid of the Kolonopin. Feeling more hopeful. Thanks for the support!	Codependent	2	431	Feb 21, 2009 by Jozie
	feel like solomon having to divide the baby in half (Preview) Two days agoI had to ask my diabled18 year old to leave. He is escalating in crazy behavior and I worried for the safety of the other two children in the home. He is very codependent on me. I don't know anything about alcohol or drugs. I need help because my heart is aching and I'm worried about him becomin...	rorussell9	1	1019	Feb 21, 2009 by hotrod
	Update...The sleeping tiger called me today.....after 2 days of drinking. I did great. (Preview) This is an update to my post yesterday. Yes, he was/is drinking. I finally heard from him more than 48 hours later. He called me sobbing and crying, begging me to come and help him. He wanted me to get a babysitter and come and take care of him. He was apologizing left and right and then proceeded to tell me h...	Canary	8	546	Feb 20, 2009 by maresie
	Adult child of alcoholic who doesn't get along with most other ACOAs (Preview) Hello: I am an adult child of an alcoholic who recently started to attend Al-Anon meetings. I am seriously thinking of not attending them any more. Many of the people at those meetings struck me as unfriendly. It seems that they don't welcome newcomers, and prefer to just stick with their friends...	cliquishPeopleSuck	8	580	Feb 20, 2009 by Jean4444
	Finally my wish came true....... (Preview) After another night of almost no sleep, I made it to work looking less than presentable, but still here nonetheless. Sat down at my desk and opened my emails, to find yet another "chain" email about how if I forward it to X amount of people, and make a wish, it will come true. After be...	shellyj123	5	592	Feb 20, 2009 by Jerry F
	Resentment Release 101 (Preview) Ok, another video: Go to Yahoo! and click on the video "From $700K to $10/hour." Wow. I mean, if anyone has a "right to resent," this man has lost EVERYTHING. His wife doesn't even have a resenment! (Or not one they're willing to talk about publicly) "I feel sorry for him...	Tiger2006	1	595	Feb 20, 2009 by maresie
	He's reeling me in again (Preview) I am in need of some encouragement and e,s & h shares. As I have posted earlier my dry drunk AH left Valentines Day eve, because he once again was trying to control people places and things, mainly my 11 year old daughter who he asked Do you want me to leave? She said yes and he left. I was so relieved and m...	java	6	597	Feb 20, 2009 by Loupiness
	Is this adultery? (Preview) Can anyone help me please? I left my husband after 25 years of marriage and 3 children ten years ago as I could no longer cope with his drinking. I stopped visiting him when the situation became unbearable and then after a couple of years he was hospitalized with many health problems due to drink. It w...	Maria Agnes	5	852	Feb 20, 2009 by db55
	New and not sure, help! (Preview) Well, he is drinking again and called from a friends house last night to say he couldnt drive home. I love him, he is an amazing man, but 1 year ago I packed my bags and told him I couldnt stay if he was drinking. He said he would change, i unpacked, and he was sober and attending AA for 6 months. 6 months ago...	merry	6	416	Feb 20, 2009 by merry
	Recovery and weight gain? (Preview) I was just wondering if anyone else has noticed a gain in their weight since going into recovery/beginning AlAnon. For me I have noticed at LEAST 7lbs finding their way back and was wondering if there is any connection between recovery and weight gain?? I've read that sometimes addicts, etc wi...	shellyj123	8	462	Feb 19, 2009 by blender_girl
	Moving on from people pleasing (Preview) As I've said in previous posts I met a woman recently who I felt had potential to be a friend. This week I've learned to hold my boundaries no matter what. She had made an arrangement with a friend of mine who flaked on her. She then called me repeatedly asking me to go get him for her. I didn't do it. Nor...	maresie	8	502	Feb 19, 2009 by Jean4444
	A family in crisis - need input please (long)! (Preview) ((((Family)))), Okay my dear family I need your help. Most of you know that my brother-in-law is an addict (to what I am not sure - painkillers, crack? not alcohol). Several years ago he burnt the garage down because he was making crack. One of the fire fighters said they had never seen a fire burn ...	Karilynn	8	588	Feb 19, 2009 by Jean4444
	Recovery doesn't always come easy.... (Preview) Often times we wonder about things, and for some reason thru all this reading I have done on the board today, it has brought back ALOT of times in my life that wasn't so cheerie.. As I think of all times back when I was drinking at a very young age, all the horrible things that happened to me. Not thru my Afath...	Jozie	3	583	Feb 19, 2009 by hotrod
	Full Of Hate (Preview) I am so full of hatred this day. I hate my life, I hate my job, I hate the daily grind, I hate the fact that I haven't got the courage to leave my AGF but I hate the time that I'm with her more and more, I hate it when people say I should leave and feel sorry for me because I stay, I hate the fact that I'm exhausted aft...	Brizzle Gal	5	1014	Feb 19, 2009 by Jerry F
	update again b/f alcholism treatments....... (Preview) here is the latest news he is now smoking crack!!!I cannot believe this, found alot of withdrawls from bank several times a day and found that his so called drinking buddies to crack and sell it to him,he said about a week now. had a incident where he would not let me sleep on the couch and was taking the bla...	maryam	5	474	Feb 19, 2009 by maresie
	dealing with death... I want to run! (Preview) Some friends of ours lost their 22 yr old son this past weekend to an 18 yr old drunk driver. So very tragic. It is very strange, but I find myself going into denial mode so that I do not feel obligated to go to the memorials/funerals. Part of me doesn't want to acknowledge it at all. I feel so ashamed and se...	Loupiness	10	594	Feb 19, 2009 by maresie
	I think that was a near miss resentment... (Preview) (((((MIP))))) I know I was taught that expectations were future resentments. I know that I got it or thought or came very close to getting it. So why was I at that meeting this morning after an alcoholic asked "Are you going tomorrow morning? I really need to be there!" Of course you all k...	Jerry F	5	577	Feb 19, 2009 by maresie
	plan a, b, c, and then what if something else comes up. (Preview) As you all know my living situation is less than desirable. A friend of mine has recently been laid off (who hasn't) and I am hoping he might offer to rent me a portion of his house again. I haven't asked. I 'm not going to ask but if he offers I'll take it. I've been really busy setting up a plan a, b.c. I did...	maresie	4	654	Feb 19, 2009 by maresie
	Need some advice (Preview) I'm new to this board and am seeking advice regarding my alcoholic son. The behaviors he has engaged in, in our home over the last 4-5 years have completely overcome my life and my husbands. He has serious resentment issues with me which I am having difficulty understanding his perception. To fu...	Sower	8	494	Feb 19, 2009 by maresie
	Moments of Gratefulness (Preview) Sometimes when I have time to sit and think, I sometimes go back to the times when My family was a whole and my parents were together, BEFORE my father became an A, I remember all the great Christmas's and all the Great holidays, and now looking back I have come to realize that "THEN" in my mind...	Jozie	5	648	Feb 19, 2009 by shellyj123
	Anybody got the time? (Preview) Good morning, (((Family))) I was getting out of the shower this morning and looked at the clock that I have in there to see if I was running late or not. Then I remembered that the clock in my bathroom has a low battery in it, and has for a couple of weeks now been "running slow". I reminded mysel...	david62	7	542	Feb 19, 2009 by Maria123
	On the verge of emotional meltdown.........ESH desperately needed (Preview) I am soooo at my wits end right now and not sure how to get it together at this point. I am tired,completely and utterly physically exhausted at this point, my house is a nightmare, work is at it's busiest and I can barely concentrate. My son has been really sick since Monday, and I found out yest...	shellyj123	9	992	Feb 19, 2009 by shellyj123
	How far to go with preventing enabling (Preview) I'm having a hard time with not trying to "control" him. Some things I read say I need to just chill out, have fun- work on making me happy... but then I read about "enabling" and find that if I think it's unexceptable that he's not going to AA meetings and having "a drink onc...	Tree	10	546	Feb 19, 2009 by merry
	Trusting My Higher Power (Preview) I am not new to the rooms of recovery but feel like I am due to the present circumstances. I had been involved a man for about two years. I thought he was probably the sweetest, most attentive and loving man I had ever met. I didn't see any signs of alcoholism or any other addictions, so I did not exactly proc...	Saved By Grace	6	609	Feb 19, 2009 by Saved By Grace
	New and looking for peace (Preview) Hello. I am brand-new to this...I never even heard of Al-Anon until recently. I'm not sure how this all works, but I am in need of some support I suppose. I am married to an alcoholic. We have been married for two years and have a 11 month old daughter. We recently relocated to another state, far away...	Gessie	7	547	Feb 19, 2009 by Christy
	f2f meeting room redo (Preview) I added a chair rail and painted all woodwork white. I used a sage green under the chair rail. With a color two shades lighter mixed with glaze and a wash technique above the chair rail. Floors were stripped, rewaxed and buffed. All windows were cleaned inside and out. All wall decorations changed plac...	Mobirdie	5	645	Feb 19, 2009 by Loupiness
	update on all (Preview) Dear All, As some of you know, I took the bereaved step mothers dog, it has worked out good, took a bit of effort, but I love her to bits. I have less contact with my father now, he does not ring me, I ring to see if all is ok, and am cordial, though I do not like him as a person but he is my father and eighty and livin...	maire rua	1	427	Feb 18, 2009 by Jozie
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