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I am new to this board...
(Preview)
Hi There I am in a complicated situation. Based on some actions I took before I joined Al-Anon and learned I was powerless. I am since trying my best to let go. Heres what went on. My husband has an alcohol problem that he is working on. But until he started working on it, things were bad. Every other month h...
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Lucie
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6
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407
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responsibility
(Preview)
Wow just recieved guidance from HP thanks to another al anon memeber. I try to fix everything make everything o.k. This means I control (try) people take on their responsibilities try and run their lives. I do this for two reasons because I care for them but also to create the life I desire. But I have...
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Tracy
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2
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331
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Teaching our children about faith
(Preview)
My son came home yesterday completely devastated. He had left his IPOD on the school bus and just knew he would never see it again. It hurt him even more because he had worked making clay pens and snakes and selling them, and saved every penny to buy it with, and $250 is ALOT of money for a child to make on h...
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shellyj123
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5
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596
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recommending Transforming Our Losses on Depression
(Preview)
On Wednesday I split off altogether from my crazy friend. I feel like an a**hole for doing it but I was losing my mind. I spent yesterday and the day before depressed and numb. It's hard to get out of bed. My phone doesn't work. My wallet disappeared. I feel like my sponsor's pretty well sick of me and g...
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gngcrzy
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8
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579
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problem
(Preview)
every time I submit a new post one of those little black ticks is at the side saying no posts. How do I get rid of this so people asnwer my posts? -- Edited by Tracy at 10:41, 2009-02-28 -- Edited by Tracy at 10:42, 2009-02-28
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Tracy
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0
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308
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Stressful Week.....
(Preview)
It has been a hard week, my AS has been on a binge this week came in and made got me so very upset, I tried to be calm and matter of fact, but after he left I was a wreck. I gave him food and some snacks to take with him, I am not at the place yet where I can completely put him out of my life. I look at him and I see what he...
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DreamsOver
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8
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461
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Got a job offer
(Preview)
I requested an internal transfer. I interviewed. I received a letter offering me the job. I think it would be a good move to learn a new subject area. Learn new skills. Something to put on my resume. Same pay. I would get away from an antagonistic co-worker. Well, it would put me in the same dept. as my AHso...
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nmike
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11
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557
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Letting go day in day out
(Preview)
At the moment I am working very consciously to shed the victim role which I am very famiiar with. Besides an attitude change for me it means lots of letting go. When I give someone something I have to let go of how they use it. When I am misunderstood often I have to let go that people don't understand me....
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maresie
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6
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600
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Why are all the stories the same
(Preview)
This is what I dont understand. It seems to be the same story from everyone. The A drinks too much, crosses serious lines in relationships, then moves out and runs away from everything leaving destruction behind. Why is it the same story? What is it about this disease that makes them so selfish and...
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Cyn
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18
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609
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What a Morning.... Love my Lt. Sissy...
(Preview)
Well this morning I was slow moving... Couldn't be my Mo Jo together to get up and get my feet in "Go" mode... Well after hitting the snooze button several times, my handsome son comes up the steps with the look of "Mom Is Still In Bed?" So I carried my lazy butt down the steps and hit t...
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Jozie
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5
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441
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Building a relationship with HP...
(Preview)
I have been working and reworking step 2 and 3 for a while now. Today, during a deliberate consultation with my HP I started thinking about how capable I have been in having an imaginary relationship with my aH and how easy it was (is) for me to create something that isn't. It can be good. It can be bad. I hav...
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Rora
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3
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541
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Am I cracking up?
(Preview)
(((((Family)))), Am I cracking up (Christy don't answer that! ) or does it appear to others that the lists of posts and their fonts have gotten smaller? I have increased the text size, but it still seems to me like the heading above the lists of post has remained the same, but the topic list has shrunk. ...
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Karilynn
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7
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472
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Words from my HP
(Preview)
So, I was driving home last week, thinking and thinking and thinking about the path my AH is taking. His father told me he wouldn't be surprised if the A lost everything AGAIN and had to go back to their place. So I was unconsciusly working out a plan of what WE would do when HE lost everything LOL, and aski...
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Priscilla83
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4
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407
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How do deal...How to heal???
(Preview)
My husband passed from alcoholic poisoning and I'm having a difficult time. Some of his family blames me for his death. I tried to get him help more than once. I took him to detox but it didn't stick. So i gave him and ultimatum to chose his family and get help or his addiction. a few days later he got check in...
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angel mom
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10
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630
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Something that bothers me here...
(Preview)
Our dear Maria is always the one to post everyone's Birthday. (Even just after having surgery.) Thanks Maria, I think it's so thoughtful of you to remember and take the time. Here's what bothers me...you can see how many people took the time to view the "happy birthday" post. How hard is i...
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Christy
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13
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665
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Hope for Today...
(Preview)
Today's passage from Hope for Today describes how I have forgiven in the past...accepting unacceptable behaviors...I was more less trying to forget it than to forgive. That is why I sunk deep into the past events and relive them over and over in my mind. I have not truly worked through the resentments...
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brightmommy
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3
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403
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Codependant crazies......Out of control like a snowball heading downhill
(Preview)
"Please free my thinking of self will, self seeking, dishonesty and wrong motives". That is a part of a prayer I pray every morning, usually before my feet hit the floor. Yesterday was no different, of course with some limited contact from the EXABF on Tuesday, again my world was feeling a...
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shellyj123
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9
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1022
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please help me
(Preview)
see my last thread to understand this. i haven't the strength to repeat it. he made contact and we spoke to each other with respect and then... i lost it. last thursday night i told him on email how i felt, how lost i was. his reply was to tell me that this was all about 'him getting better'. he instigated no c...
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tabi1
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20
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735
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Happy!!
(Preview)
I'm happy!1 I'm living alone with my daughter and feeling good. Things with my Ah are fine, I joke with him that I see him more, now that we are not living together. Also, I successfully stated rules NO drinking in my place, and No coming by drunk. And yesterday he called me drunk and I had the ability to tel...
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Priscilla83
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5
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386
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Good awkward, bad awkward
(Preview)
Well as you know one person who I had hoped was going to be a friend of mine let me down after promising to meet me sometime last week. This morning was the first time I've seen her since the "stood up". I discussed this issue in therapy so I was well aware this is something I'm pretty awkward at. ...
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maresie
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5
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1055
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Back from Dubai and still waiting in limbo.....
(Preview)
Hello, I had some lovely responses to my situation when my AH announced from thousands of miles away, that he no longer loved me as a husband should love a wife, that people needed him more than he needed them, that he was like his father (always absent from his life) and that his alcohol problem wasnt goi...
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Lilly Burn
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7
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952
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The OLD me v/s the NEW me.........
(Preview)
Well yesterday I feel like I passed a test finally:) EXABF sent me a comment to my blog about MY 12 step program.....said I was "absolutely glowing" (so he must have been checking out my picts also) and welcomed me to the world of recovery so to speak. The old me would have had to comment back...
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shellyj123
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9
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537
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Alcohol Poisioning
(Preview)
Hello! I have been reading alot about alcohol poisioning. My AH drinks every night to the point of passing out every single time he drinks. In reading the information he as showed several symptoms of poisoning like being unconscious, his body sometimes shakes terribly, sometimes he will stop bre...
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desperate for help
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5
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571
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Newbie to alanon, life after treatment
(Preview)
Hi Everyone! I am so excited to have found this board. My fiance is currently in treatment for drug/alcohol addiction. So far things are going well and he seems positive (has been in treatment before). I guess i am worried about life when he comes back. I hear so many horror stories about early rec...
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inhisarms
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8
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620
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Do I go to see him in the hospital or do I not?? Wow...tough one.
(Preview)
My AH is in the hospital for his drinking. FInally after 3+ days worth, he is in detoxing. I went to see the alcohol counselor yesterday that I had set up for us. We were supposed to go together. He suggested that I go and see him last night. I did. Should I go again today???? I am in turmoil. As much as I know...
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Canary
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10
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485
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Allowing others to move forward and keeping steady myself
(Preview)
I am not a chaser - I am someone who runs. Every single time a relationship hits a rocky spot and the man in my life walks away from me, I change my number, and keep my distance. I cant fix my A - he is broken. He turns to alcohol to have a good time with friends, having to party it up and prove how cool he is. And...
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Cyn
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5
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463
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f2f as a couple....any thoughts on this?
(Preview)
A few of you have suggested that husb may like to come to meetings with me. He is always interested in hearing what I learn from f2f and from posting here. I feel however that if he were there at meetings with me my ability to share would be comprimised.....although I know we can participate in th...
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Ness
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7
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465
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Newbie - Concerned sister
(Preview)
There is a lot of info on this site and my situation is probably already been advised upon. If someone could send me a link to the appropriate topics, I would be grateful. Brother is 35. Was a functioning alcoholic until a year ago. Quit his job and hasn't done anything since. Went through his saving...
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superdebby
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7
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514
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Celebration
(Preview)
http://www.oprah.com/slideshow/oathome/slideshow4_ss_tours0206/1
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maresie
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3
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418
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Doing Well
(Preview)
Hello all. I haven't posted in a while, but look on frequently. I've been doing well. Haven't had contact with my ex bf for five months now. (He left and I don't know where he is - I believe he is staying with his "friends".) I am still going to my meetings, use my slogans regularly and am t...
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mslouise
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4
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366
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Hurting
(Preview)
I just read someone's post about how hurt people hurt people, and in the end they really are hurting themselves. It made me think about alot. I spent 3 years with a man who fought me every step of the way to starting a life together. Every single stage we went through: moving in with me, getting over hom...
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Cyn
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4
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527
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Just for Today
(Preview)
Hope For Today page 50 Thought for the Day says...It takes courage to change. now that i have a Higher Power and program friends to help me, i know there are no limits to my recovery in Al-Anon... Today I am taking the courage to change my behaviors so that I can be a healthier person. I can trust in my HP an...
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brightmommy
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3
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396
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Never thought I would be back here....
(Preview)
3 1/2 years ago I walked away from a man who I was so disgustingly in love with because he was addicted to pills. Now, I feel like I am doing the same thing with someone else I loved, planned to marry, etc. because he is drinking to the point he is becoming violent with me. Two weeks ago was not the first time...
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Cyn
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8
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503
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PROGRESS UPDATE
(Preview)
Hello again wonderful Alanoners, It's been a long time since I posted but I just wanted to check in and also let some of my dear Alanoners know that I still care. I don't get to go online very often these days,but when I can I do try to look in. I am doing great..........but it occurred to me the other day that...
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chris52
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7
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471
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Testing times
(Preview)
The events of the last 10 days re my Ason have been testing to say the least. He called us for help (which we took seriously, as he's extremely stubborn and protective of his disease and never asks for help) and we (husb & I) have been in discussions with the people in his assisted housing as to...
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Ness
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8
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432
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chat room 101
(Preview)
I was talking to a friend of mine about how clueless our parents can be about the internet - IMing, chat rooms, message boards.....etc.... how can u explain how to use those things? IM I can explain but how do u explain how to use a chat room or a message board or explain how it works? Lanchas
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Lanchas
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3
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391
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Looking for ESH, financial issues, trust, etc
(Preview)
Hello all! I am hoping if I post the goings on of my day today that there maight be others out there that have ESH that might relate. I am truly at a loss of what to do. I plan to call my f2f sponsor in the morning about this issue as well, but I figure the more esh the better!! My AH told me today that he stole, li...
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kam1974
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6
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613
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Saturday's Birthday Girl - Jonibaloni
(Preview)
Maria gets her best singing voice tuned (oh wait, better not ) Happy Birthday to you Dear Jonibaloni. I hope your day was the best! love ya, YourMaria
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Maria123
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10
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450
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"WHY"
(Preview)
(Guys) Not be on in like agessssssss......This was a poem i wrote this morning and decided to share it with you all. I know you will understand it only two well. Hope your all doing well, and shall catch up soon.....Take care.. WHY:: Why do i laugh, Why do i cry, Why do folks leave me, and not say goodbye...
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ally
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6
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511
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My brain sucks
(Preview)
I broke things off with my qualifier over Christmas. Last Sunday he made a date for this Sunday (yesterday) to sort of reconnect and see how things stand. Okay- I'll give it a shot. (Cue 7 days of angsting over it- should I cancel? How am I going to stay serene and not punch him in the nose?) Turned out I did...
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gngcrzy
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6
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644
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Hurt People Hurt People - Take Two
(Preview)
Hurt people hurt people. I got it, or so I thought. I learned that all those invitations for fights that I chose to go to only led me to hurt people. If someone lashed out at me, my instinctive reaction was to lambaste them right back and harder if I could. Now I know. I got that part through many, many 24 ho...
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Maria123
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6
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745
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Fear, lack of focus
(Preview)
This evening, my neighbour called to ask me about my son's anti social behaviour on the school bus, yes at first I swallowed a load of baloney but finally got to what I think is the truth of the matter. Having laid away a lot of the night, I have decided not to enable my son by covering up for him. He can apolog...
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maire rua
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3
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445
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Why do....?
(Preview)
I feel like crap? i've been sober for over two years now, going to meetings, working my program - doing okay and actually getting better every day, except for this: i recently have been seeing some friends who are very active with alcohol among other things, and they have a way of making me feel very gui...
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CAM0914
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6
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523
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Getting triggered...
(Preview)
I am super stressed out. I am on my way to a storage unit that my ex AH dumped my stuff into after I left. I had tried to go back and get some of my things but he refused to let me in "his" house with a friend to help carry stuff. The courts and our attny's decided this was the best thing- have him dec...
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Jean4444
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6
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384
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tired, hurt and confused
(Preview)
hey,
i met my husband 3 and a half years ago online. he's australian and i'm in the uk. he told me within the first couple of weeks that he was a recovering alcoholic. he's not had a drink since 1987.
from the begining he liked to have control over when we spoke and for how long. i was shocked at how needy i...
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tabi1
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10
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794
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Spin off of Jean4444 post....relationships and drama
(Preview)
I didn't want to "steal the thread" off of Jean and sidetrack her very deserving appreciation of not being on the rollercoaster, so I decided to post a new thread with the thoughts she provoked in me with her thread, "Not getting all whipped up and its really a good thing" I find wi...
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Rora
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4
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621
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Twelve of the most rewarding steps I've ever taken~
(Preview)
Finally finished up my first round through the steps and am now just kind of sitting back letting it all sink in. I was thinking back today, where I was when I first came into this program...still with EXABF and KNOWING I needed help but not really there yet. Just starting to lerk on the boards some. The...
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shellyj123
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4
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445
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self deception
(Preview)
went to a f2f meeting tonight the subject was self deception. I had a ah ha moment and guilt started to seep into my thoughts I have been focusing on my AB'S behaviours ,thoughts etc etc. I have been trying to fix his life make him into the man i need. He is sick very sick and I am ashamed at the pressure I h...
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Tracy
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5
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724
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My slow bettering steps...
(Preview)
I have been told many times... Your past is your past, so leave it there, but as I work thru this program one day at a time...My past "Is'nt" Just my past...It is a part of who I am and who I have become.. It is me... I have a ASister that "Claims" she doesn't remember ANYTHING from our c...
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Jozie
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9
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598
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room won't open
(Preview)
I can't get into the chat room for the meeting ; it just won't load, so maybe others are having the same problem? Just wondered. pw
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wp
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6
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400
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Somethings I guess are just not ment tobe understood...
(Preview)
Well I woke up this morning with high hopes of making my (usually Difficult) Monday, a good day... My son had a delay, so that put my morning on hold some, and then as I getting ready to load him on the bus I get a phone call telling me that "YET ANOTHER" on of my Old Friends had Overdosed, and not ma...
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Jozie
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8
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653
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kindness weakness
(Preview)
My Ab is sow low using all his will to get me to rescue him. He is threatening suicide etc etc. I am emtionally drained by his illness I drove him to a place where he could get help for his problems alocohol/cocaine use. There is a lot of emtional stuff to be dealt with too. He is asking for my supprt but ev...
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Tracy
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6
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725
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looking for support
(Preview)
I could really use some response. I've been crying all day. I know nothing about drugs and alcohol.I can see how crazy it makes my child. Tough love is really hard for me because I've been codependent with this child from day one. He's an adopted specialneeds child. It's hardnot to be the care taker....
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rorussell9
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7
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489
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New here...Alcoholic Boyfriend coming home from Rehab..need advice
(Preview)
Hi everyone...I'm new here and am hoping to get some advice before I drive myself nuts. I've sat in front of my computer for five minutes now, not knowing where to start. I'll try to keep this simple. My ABF is currently in rehab and coming home soon. I'm a wreck because I don't know how to handle this or him...
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Cin238
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6
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4413
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a lesson in forgiveness...
(Preview)
"If the only prayer you say in your life is 'Thank you,' that would suffice." - Meister Eckart This was the quote on the program passed out at the funeral I went to yesterday for a 22 yr old who was killed by 18 yr old drunk driver. The guy went through a red light at 70 mph. He walked away from the ac...
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Loupiness
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7
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592
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My Son.....
(Preview)
My family has been dealing with his addiction for ten years, those years have been about him stealing from us, lying to us, and causing such upheaval in our lives. We adopted our son when he was 5 mos. old, it couldn't have been a happier day for our family, we loved him and always told him the truth about hi...
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DreamsOver
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4
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384
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Keys to a whole new life~
(Preview)
Last night at my f2f meeting the topic was gratitude. It was so nice to listen to everyone share something good and happy that was going on in their lives, as we all know Alcoholism does not always bring out the good and happy in us. When I got home I got to thinking about how I was when I began here and how far...
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shellyj123
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2
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501
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need to stick to it
(Preview)
My ab is supposed to be going for help on tuesday. This got me thinking even if he doesnt drink , even if he stops using cocaine. HE has hurt me so much over the past 4 years. He has no job and no prospects of a good one. He is very irrisponsible and lives for the day. I on the other hand have a good job, I am w...
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Tracy
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5
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389
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how to move foward...
(Preview)
My struggle is how to move forward after all the hurt and pain that has been caused by the addiction in a marriage. My husband is now in recovery and has been for 7 months this time. He has said and done a lot of things during the active addiction that he would not normally do. He has had several emotional...
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brightmommy
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5
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567
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Well, my AH is now in the hospital. His family wants me to rescue.....and I won't
(Preview)
So, after 3 full days of drinking, my husband is in a hospital. His sister went and found him....brought him to a meeting. AH was saying he was going to kill himself. So, she called thepolice and they brought him to the hospital. She called me to tell me that he is there. And when I said that I wouldn't come...
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Canary
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4
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561
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