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Perspectives....
(Preview)
I was reminded the other day (and likely every day), of how much the perspectives that WE bring to every situation affect us, and our ability to manage / accept situations, people, etc.... It reminded me of a great story from John Gray - author of the Mars & Venus books.... One of his self-help tape...
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canadianguy
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8
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619
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Just when you thought you were safe.......
(Preview)
I have taken a little hiatus from MIP, but am now ready to rejoin you with renewed vigor. I will be catching up on all of you who I love so dearly, and getting to know the new members as well. I send best of good wishes to everyone. Diva
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Diva
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20
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775
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having a nervous breakdown
(Preview)
My 21 year old is in deep with drugs it appears. She hit a deer with her car, again. She received a $1600 check from insurance. She took the check, did not get the car repaired and has disapeared. She is not answering our calls or text messages. Now work called and says she hasn't shown up there. chances are...
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gimmpy
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5
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822
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Avoiding resentment
(Preview)
I had a tense moment with a friend tonight. She is having another party next weekend. As we were talking tonight, I asked what I could bring. She rattled off what she and another person are bringing, so I offered a salad. She said that would be "perfect" and then proceeded to tell me the gue...
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glad lee
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7
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541
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What an UNBELIVABLE day~a parent's worst nightmare
(Preview)
AS most of you know that read my post yesterday, my son's 12th birthday, I started out not focused and trying to get there. After posting here I felt better, after praying on things I felt better, blessed and grateful. We were ready to start a beautiful birthday celebrating day. Got to the skating rin...
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shellyj123
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10
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543
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Cat and dog anaology....
(Preview)
(((Family))), I hope you have all had a good weekend. To those of you that are in the path of the northeast snowstorm, stay safe. Please feel free to send some of it my way. I'm just slightly too far west of it to get any - maybe a flurry or two. You all know how much I love the snow. Anyway, my niece and I wer...
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Karilynn
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7
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562
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getting back to focusing on me.
(Preview)
I cannot do anything about my mom, my husband or anyone unless I first focus on me. I tend to get into their business too much. I am so grateful for their prescence in my life. Today I am sitting in the library trying to get my head together & do what is in front of me. This perticular day is a Monday &...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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528
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What a ROller Coaster of a weekend!!!!
(Preview)
Well... It has been an Up & Down kind of weekend...Never boring that is for sure...Friday I had read in my devotional books that I should conquer my fears...Well I couldn't think of any...lol... Well 100% of the time since I started F2F meeting it has been my Sister in law... (Which I love that we sha...
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Jozie
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1
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605
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This is the place to bring the messes...(as I perceive them to be)
(Preview)
I am hating my job and I cannot seem to stop. I need to stop hating my job. I need to keep my job even though everything (sick) in me is screaming for me to quit. I just took a week off to deal with my storage unit leftover from my marriage which was a pretty horrible week, generally. Big bad reminders of tha...
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Jean4444
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8
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544
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Struggling to stay in the now~In need of some ESH
(Preview)
Well today is my son's birthday and I was bound and determined last night that I would not project and worry my way through it....but here I am so I must need some ESH. I'm having quit the time staying focused.....but am diggin in with both feet and trying. To update a bit, my EXABF sent me an email and aske...
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shellyj123
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8
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535
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you are my substitute
(Preview)
It was chaos at my house tonight. Don't even know what happened. My 4 yr old ended up hysterical because he didn't feel like he was being treated fairly in a video game with my daughter and the neighbors boys, my 15 yr old tried to fix it and became angry when he couldn't, and my daughter stirred the pot. As f...
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Loupiness
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6
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500
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Remaining neutral and keeping strong for me
(Preview)
Yesterday was a bit rough to say the least. I turned my phone off for the last week, when I turned it on Thursday, there were 4 VM and 2 texts from my A. All very sweet, each VM a bit more urgent. So I called him back yesterday morning. He was overly sweet, excited to talk to me, couldnt really chat because...
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Cyn
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7
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441
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Johnny Cash at Folsom Prison
(Preview)
Last night I went to see Johnny Cash at Folsom prison which is an independent movie. As some of you may know Johnny and June Carter Cash gave a concert at Folsom prison. During that time Johnny met an accomplished musician, Glen Shirley and eventually championed him and when he was released from priso...
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maresie
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4
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611
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The Mens Rules which can also be some of Alanon's Tools
(Preview)
The Man Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear " the rules " From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered &...
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Maria123
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11
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690
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Breast Cancer - Helping Others
(Preview)
((((Family)))), Recovery is all about taking care of ourselves. It's getting emotionally and physically healthy. It's about living strong. Every October I remind you to get those mamograms. A friend of mine who works for a nonprofit group sent me an email. She has thoroughly checked this site...
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Karilynn
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2
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380
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food addiction
(Preview)
Hi all, I'm new to the board. I hope to get some help here, since I don't know where else to turn. my boyfriend of 3 years is a food addict. When I first started dating him, I had known him for years; he had ballooned in weight to what he said was 450lbs, and he had blamed his past really awful marriage for his o...
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beachmum
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3
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1311
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Spirit/mind
(Preview)
I am very confused my inner voice/gods will comes to me when I meditate and through other alanoners, literature etc. All this guidance tells me I need to love me, that its not my responsibility to control, rescue others. That I am powerless over the A and I need to make healthy choices for myself.. I k...
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Tracy
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3
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456
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I am new to this board...
(Preview)
Hi There I am in a complicated situation. Based on some actions I took before I joined Al-Anon and learned I was powerless. I am since trying my best to let go. Heres what went on. My husband has an alcohol problem that he is working on. But until he started working on it, things were bad. Every other month h...
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Lucie
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6
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441
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responsibility
(Preview)
Wow just recieved guidance from HP thanks to another al anon memeber. I try to fix everything make everything o.k. This means I control (try) people take on their responsibilities try and run their lives. I do this for two reasons because I care for them but also to create the life I desire. But I have...
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Tracy
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2
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364
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Teaching our children about faith
(Preview)
My son came home yesterday completely devastated. He had left his IPOD on the school bus and just knew he would never see it again. It hurt him even more because he had worked making clay pens and snakes and selling them, and saved every penny to buy it with, and $250 is ALOT of money for a child to make on h...
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shellyj123
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5
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630
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recommending Transforming Our Losses on Depression
(Preview)
On Wednesday I split off altogether from my crazy friend. I feel like an a**hole for doing it but I was losing my mind. I spent yesterday and the day before depressed and numb. It's hard to get out of bed. My phone doesn't work. My wallet disappeared. I feel like my sponsor's pretty well sick of me and g...
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gngcrzy
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8
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618
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problem
(Preview)
every time I submit a new post one of those little black ticks is at the side saying no posts. How do I get rid of this so people asnwer my posts? -- Edited by Tracy at 10:41, 2009-02-28 -- Edited by Tracy at 10:42, 2009-02-28
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Tracy
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0
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339
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Stressful Week.....
(Preview)
It has been a hard week, my AS has been on a binge this week came in and made got me so very upset, I tried to be calm and matter of fact, but after he left I was a wreck. I gave him food and some snacks to take with him, I am not at the place yet where I can completely put him out of my life. I look at him and I see what he...
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DreamsOver
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8
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494
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Got a job offer
(Preview)
I requested an internal transfer. I interviewed. I received a letter offering me the job. I think it would be a good move to learn a new subject area. Learn new skills. Something to put on my resume. Same pay. I would get away from an antagonistic co-worker. Well, it would put me in the same dept. as my AHso...
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nmike
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11
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594
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Letting go day in day out
(Preview)
At the moment I am working very consciously to shed the victim role which I am very famiiar with. Besides an attitude change for me it means lots of letting go. When I give someone something I have to let go of how they use it. When I am misunderstood often I have to let go that people don't understand me....
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maresie
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6
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644
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Why are all the stories the same
(Preview)
This is what I dont understand. It seems to be the same story from everyone. The A drinks too much, crosses serious lines in relationships, then moves out and runs away from everything leaving destruction behind. Why is it the same story? What is it about this disease that makes them so selfish and...
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Cyn
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18
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644
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What a Morning.... Love my Lt. Sissy...
(Preview)
Well this morning I was slow moving... Couldn't be my Mo Jo together to get up and get my feet in "Go" mode... Well after hitting the snooze button several times, my handsome son comes up the steps with the look of "Mom Is Still In Bed?" So I carried my lazy butt down the steps and hit t...
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Jozie
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5
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473
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Building a relationship with HP...
(Preview)
I have been working and reworking step 2 and 3 for a while now. Today, during a deliberate consultation with my HP I started thinking about how capable I have been in having an imaginary relationship with my aH and how easy it was (is) for me to create something that isn't. It can be good. It can be bad. I hav...
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Rora
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3
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585
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Am I cracking up?
(Preview)
(((((Family)))), Am I cracking up (Christy don't answer that! ) or does it appear to others that the lists of posts and their fonts have gotten smaller? I have increased the text size, but it still seems to me like the heading above the lists of post has remained the same, but the topic list has shrunk. ...
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Karilynn
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7
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509
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Words from my HP
(Preview)
So, I was driving home last week, thinking and thinking and thinking about the path my AH is taking. His father told me he wouldn't be surprised if the A lost everything AGAIN and had to go back to their place. So I was unconsciusly working out a plan of what WE would do when HE lost everything LOL, and aski...
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Priscilla83
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4
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446
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How do deal...How to heal???
(Preview)
My husband passed from alcoholic poisoning and I'm having a difficult time. Some of his family blames me for his death. I tried to get him help more than once. I took him to detox but it didn't stick. So i gave him and ultimatum to chose his family and get help or his addiction. a few days later he got check in...
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angel mom
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10
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681
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Something that bothers me here...
(Preview)
Our dear Maria is always the one to post everyone's Birthday. (Even just after having surgery.) Thanks Maria, I think it's so thoughtful of you to remember and take the time. Here's what bothers me...you can see how many people took the time to view the "happy birthday" post. How hard is i...
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Christy
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13
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698
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Hope for Today...
(Preview)
Today's passage from Hope for Today describes how I have forgiven in the past...accepting unacceptable behaviors...I was more less trying to forget it than to forgive. That is why I sunk deep into the past events and relive them over and over in my mind. I have not truly worked through the resentments...
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brightmommy
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3
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436
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Codependant crazies......Out of control like a snowball heading downhill
(Preview)
"Please free my thinking of self will, self seeking, dishonesty and wrong motives". That is a part of a prayer I pray every morning, usually before my feet hit the floor. Yesterday was no different, of course with some limited contact from the EXABF on Tuesday, again my world was feeling a...
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shellyj123
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9
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1054
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please help me
(Preview)
see my last thread to understand this. i haven't the strength to repeat it. he made contact and we spoke to each other with respect and then... i lost it. last thursday night i told him on email how i felt, how lost i was. his reply was to tell me that this was all about 'him getting better'. he instigated no c...
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tabi1
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20
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776
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Happy!!
(Preview)
I'm happy!1 I'm living alone with my daughter and feeling good. Things with my Ah are fine, I joke with him that I see him more, now that we are not living together. Also, I successfully stated rules NO drinking in my place, and No coming by drunk. And yesterday he called me drunk and I had the ability to tel...
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Priscilla83
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5
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422
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Good awkward, bad awkward
(Preview)
Well as you know one person who I had hoped was going to be a friend of mine let me down after promising to meet me sometime last week. This morning was the first time I've seen her since the "stood up". I discussed this issue in therapy so I was well aware this is something I'm pretty awkward at. ...
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maresie
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5
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1101
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Back from Dubai and still waiting in limbo.....
(Preview)
Hello, I had some lovely responses to my situation when my AH announced from thousands of miles away, that he no longer loved me as a husband should love a wife, that people needed him more than he needed them, that he was like his father (always absent from his life) and that his alcohol problem wasnt goi...
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Lilly Burn
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7
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1008
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The OLD me v/s the NEW me.........
(Preview)
Well yesterday I feel like I passed a test finally:) EXABF sent me a comment to my blog about MY 12 step program.....said I was "absolutely glowing" (so he must have been checking out my picts also) and welcomed me to the world of recovery so to speak. The old me would have had to comment back...
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shellyj123
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9
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585
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Alcohol Poisioning
(Preview)
Hello! I have been reading alot about alcohol poisioning. My AH drinks every night to the point of passing out every single time he drinks. In reading the information he as showed several symptoms of poisoning like being unconscious, his body sometimes shakes terribly, sometimes he will stop bre...
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desperate for help
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5
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605
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Newbie to alanon, life after treatment
(Preview)
Hi Everyone! I am so excited to have found this board. My fiance is currently in treatment for drug/alcohol addiction. So far things are going well and he seems positive (has been in treatment before). I guess i am worried about life when he comes back. I hear so many horror stories about early rec...
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inhisarms
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8
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661
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Do I go to see him in the hospital or do I not?? Wow...tough one.
(Preview)
My AH is in the hospital for his drinking. FInally after 3+ days worth, he is in detoxing. I went to see the alcohol counselor yesterday that I had set up for us. We were supposed to go together. He suggested that I go and see him last night. I did. Should I go again today???? I am in turmoil. As much as I know...
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Canary
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10
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519
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Allowing others to move forward and keeping steady myself
(Preview)
I am not a chaser - I am someone who runs. Every single time a relationship hits a rocky spot and the man in my life walks away from me, I change my number, and keep my distance. I cant fix my A - he is broken. He turns to alcohol to have a good time with friends, having to party it up and prove how cool he is. And...
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Cyn
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5
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494
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f2f as a couple....any thoughts on this?
(Preview)
A few of you have suggested that husb may like to come to meetings with me. He is always interested in hearing what I learn from f2f and from posting here. I feel however that if he were there at meetings with me my ability to share would be comprimised.....although I know we can participate in th...
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Ness
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7
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495
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Newbie - Concerned sister
(Preview)
There is a lot of info on this site and my situation is probably already been advised upon. If someone could send me a link to the appropriate topics, I would be grateful. Brother is 35. Was a functioning alcoholic until a year ago. Quit his job and hasn't done anything since. Went through his saving...
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superdebby
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7
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549
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Celebration
(Preview)
http://www.oprah.com/slideshow/oathome/slideshow4_ss_tours0206/1
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maresie
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3
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447
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Doing Well
(Preview)
Hello all. I haven't posted in a while, but look on frequently. I've been doing well. Haven't had contact with my ex bf for five months now. (He left and I don't know where he is - I believe he is staying with his "friends".) I am still going to my meetings, use my slogans regularly and am t...
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mslouise
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4
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404
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Hurting
(Preview)
I just read someone's post about how hurt people hurt people, and in the end they really are hurting themselves. It made me think about alot. I spent 3 years with a man who fought me every step of the way to starting a life together. Every single stage we went through: moving in with me, getting over hom...
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Cyn
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4
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561
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Just for Today
(Preview)
Hope For Today page 50 Thought for the Day says...It takes courage to change. now that i have a Higher Power and program friends to help me, i know there are no limits to my recovery in Al-Anon... Today I am taking the courage to change my behaviors so that I can be a healthier person. I can trust in my HP an...
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brightmommy
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3
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430
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Never thought I would be back here....
(Preview)
3 1/2 years ago I walked away from a man who I was so disgustingly in love with because he was addicted to pills. Now, I feel like I am doing the same thing with someone else I loved, planned to marry, etc. because he is drinking to the point he is becoming violent with me. Two weeks ago was not the first time...
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Cyn
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8
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548
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PROGRESS UPDATE
(Preview)
Hello again wonderful Alanoners, It's been a long time since I posted but I just wanted to check in and also let some of my dear Alanoners know that I still care. I don't get to go online very often these days,but when I can I do try to look in. I am doing great..........but it occurred to me the other day that...
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chris52
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7
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506
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Testing times
(Preview)
The events of the last 10 days re my Ason have been testing to say the least. He called us for help (which we took seriously, as he's extremely stubborn and protective of his disease and never asks for help) and we (husb & I) have been in discussions with the people in his assisted housing as to...
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Ness
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8
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466
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chat room 101
(Preview)
I was talking to a friend of mine about how clueless our parents can be about the internet - IMing, chat rooms, message boards.....etc.... how can u explain how to use those things? IM I can explain but how do u explain how to use a chat room or a message board or explain how it works? Lanchas
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Lanchas
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3
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425
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Looking for ESH, financial issues, trust, etc
(Preview)
Hello all! I am hoping if I post the goings on of my day today that there maight be others out there that have ESH that might relate. I am truly at a loss of what to do. I plan to call my f2f sponsor in the morning about this issue as well, but I figure the more esh the better!! My AH told me today that he stole, li...
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kam1974
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6
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652
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Saturday's Birthday Girl - Jonibaloni
(Preview)
Maria gets her best singing voice tuned (oh wait, better not ) Happy Birthday to you Dear Jonibaloni. I hope your day was the best! love ya, YourMaria
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Maria123
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10
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484
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"WHY"
(Preview)
(Guys) Not be on in like agessssssss......This was a poem i wrote this morning and decided to share it with you all. I know you will understand it only two well. Hope your all doing well, and shall catch up soon.....Take care.. WHY:: Why do i laugh, Why do i cry, Why do folks leave me, and not say goodbye...
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ally
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6
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549
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My brain sucks
(Preview)
I broke things off with my qualifier over Christmas. Last Sunday he made a date for this Sunday (yesterday) to sort of reconnect and see how things stand. Okay- I'll give it a shot. (Cue 7 days of angsting over it- should I cancel? How am I going to stay serene and not punch him in the nose?) Turned out I did...
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gngcrzy
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6
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686
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Hurt People Hurt People - Take Two
(Preview)
Hurt people hurt people. I got it, or so I thought. I learned that all those invitations for fights that I chose to go to only led me to hurt people. If someone lashed out at me, my instinctive reaction was to lambaste them right back and harder if I could. Now I know. I got that part through many, many 24 ho...
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Maria123
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6
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802
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Fear, lack of focus
(Preview)
This evening, my neighbour called to ask me about my son's anti social behaviour on the school bus, yes at first I swallowed a load of baloney but finally got to what I think is the truth of the matter. Having laid away a lot of the night, I have decided not to enable my son by covering up for him. He can apolog...
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maire rua
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3
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478
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Why do....?
(Preview)
I feel like crap? i've been sober for over two years now, going to meetings, working my program - doing okay and actually getting better every day, except for this: i recently have been seeing some friends who are very active with alcohol among other things, and they have a way of making me feel very gui...
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CAM0914
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6
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560
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