The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hurt people hurt people. I got it, or so I thought.
I learned that all those invitations for fights that I chose to go to only led me to hurt people. If someone lashed out at me, my instinctive reaction was to lambaste them right back and harder if I could. Now I know. I got that part through many, many 24 hours of working this program and getting to meetings but then I got an opportunity for Take Two.
I was gossiping with a friend. For that moment, it felt really good to malign the person that hurt me, "hurt" being the key here. I was being judgmental and didn't realize at the time but would have thought "well yeah it was justified."
Here's the Take Two, I HURT ME (sigh). I felt like chit as time wore on, and that's when it hit me that hurt people (me) hurt people (me). Hurts take a very long time for me to get over. They are obviously deep sores but my hurting someone back (whether they know it or not) only hurts me. I gotta keep a check on that one.
in recovery, Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Yes I too have been trying to catch myself from those very habits, I too would talk of others, and make fun and now that I am looking within myself, I have noticed that i wasn't talking about them to be rude to them I was doing it to cover up what i really felt about myself, and how bad i was unhappy in my life at the time... As i work thru this program and get to realize that I am better then that... I am dong my best not to fall back on old habits...
Thanks for your post and the reminder of what I also need to keep in check... Thanks again
Friends in Recovery... One day at a time... Jozie...
this explains yet another way to feel my feelings or show me how I covered them up I am in the thick of trying to accept feelings in a better way right now so I really am glad you shared this.
hugs, ddub
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"Choices are the hinges of destiny." Pythagoras You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
Detachment helps. I think distance from those who are particularly vindictive also helps. Focus helps. There are lots of tools that help stop this behavior. Good for you that you are recognizing things. I also think boundaries really help.
That is great insight. My A always says that to me - hurt people, hurt people. I always saw that he was eventually upset that he was hurting me, but didnt really understand that he was hurting himself in the process. So all this time when I am thinking about how I am hurting from him, I have not been thinking about how hurting me has been hurting him as well.
