The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have recently re-connected with the old love of my life that I had not seen in over a decade. We had a really pleasant time together last weekend. We have both changed and mellowed quite a bit. We are both a decade older. He is not an A but he was raised ACoA, like I was. We both have been affected by the disease. We both have new relationships with the god of our understanding, too.
Its NOT intoxicating, head over heels, etc. and I must say, its shocking NOT for it to be that way. But it sure does feel solid and sane.
We used to work the drama angle a lot with each other. Not any more. Its so funny how when you take that out, it just gets so calm and simple! He is a lot more affectionate and I am much less neurotic and clingy. We are not making any plans, just taking it one day at a time, as agreed. its nice!
I think it was Jerry who referred to this feeling of calm "twilight" and I think that describes it so well! Its a nice simple basic thing, not a roller coaster, not a dramarama. I get to be myself 100% and so does he. Sure we miss each other when we cannot be around each other but its not the end of the world or anything. We know that one day we will connect again. After all, we always have! Even after a decade, you know?
It is possible to change! I do not crave the drama afterall. Sure it feels weird at first but its so much more secure and safe! which just breeds more security and safety...and on and on and on...cool!
How fabulous - good for you! I know full well how to merge, not have boundaries and make it complicated. How great you enjoy it and celebrate the transition.
What a lot of work you have done to be able to move into this!
Very cool, Jean. Yes, calm and simple and sane. I wonder if I can get there from here...
You know, I cannot even begin to imagine being in another relationship. However, it doen't feel good to think of myself being alone for the rest of my life either. I hope someday to be able to have a true loving relationship and the opportunity to do it differently.
Thanks for the hope.
Blessings, Lou
-- Edited by Loupiness at 16:20, 2009-02-21
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Every new day begins with new possibilities. It's up to us to fill it with the things that move us toward progress and peace. ~ Ronald Reagan~
Sometimes what you want to do has to fail, so you won't ~Marguerite Bro~
