The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Finally finished up my first round through the steps and am now just kind of sitting back letting it all sink in.
I was thinking back today, where I was when I first came into this program...still with EXABF and KNOWING I needed help but not really there yet. Just starting to lerk on the boards some. Then hitting my bottom and the kitchen floor literally devastated and in tears the day he walked out, knowing in my heart that my life would never be the same again. At that point in time I thought it would be empty and without meaning without EXABF there...that my happiness was gone...that my future happiness would never come to be, that I was nothing without this person I had foolishly allowed myself to love, and trust.
Today I wake up and the world is a different place~my world is a different place. I feel more together, and know that no one is responsible for my happiness but me. I wake up knowing there is nothing my HP and I can not get through together. The anger I feel for what EXABF did has faded some, and one day I hope will be gone forever from my life. I feel sorry for him somedays, because I don't think he realizes what he lost in my son and me, what a wonderful life we could have all had. But that was then, this is now, and living in the now is where I feel like I finally found a place of comfort.
I know there will be tough times ahead, life is full of learning lessons and problems to face, but if I continue to face them one day at a time, and stop and THINK, I know I can do it.
Thanks for letting me sharing and for being there everyone of those twelve steps along the way.........WHAT A JOURNEY THIS IS
finding answers in the heart Shelly
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
Don't ya just love working Step 12 now? I sure did. Ah Acceptance and the gift of carrying the message. What a blessing and gift.
Go do something really good for you now. Something nice, maybe a nice dinner or anything fun that motivates you to celebrate your success. I often bask in the glory of this program by myself, and though sometimes I wish I had someone to celebrate it with, I also enjoy my own celebrations (the inner confidence and smile I wear on my face is often fun to see reflected in those who watch me when I am alone - just another added benefit that I am at the right place at the right time).
in recovery, Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
- just another added benefit that I am at the right place at the right time).