The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I found a carrot and two lumps of coal on my sidewalk and wondered what they were doing there. I thought it odd. Suddenly remembering that a snowman once stood on that place, I chuckled at my own suspicious thoughts. Even so I had an eerie feeling of something strangely familiar. I kept staring at the coal and the carrot as I unloaded groceries from my car. A snowman- Cold, frozed, hard. I hadn't noticed his melting: I only noticed what was left, which wasn't much.....
I thought of how I had built frozen layers around myself to cope with the terror and chaos of alcoholism. I had grown up encased in the iciness of the disease. Then the warm & loving members of Al-Anon encouraged me to let my HP thaw the icy layers until, like the snowman, there was but a God to employ the Al-Anon program to build upon it until I became the Healthy person I was meant to be.
I've learned that becoming healthy means tolerating a melting away of my old self. If i feel empty during this process, I shall not permit myself to want the disease back. Instead, I will trust my HP to help me bring forth the genuine me. I'll trust that the emptiness I feel is because God has left some room for my true self to develop.
THOUGHT FOR Today! The empty spaces I feel during recoery will become filled as I allow My HP to heal me through Al-Anon.
"The desire to grow & to heal has brought me to this uncomfortable point. I need only trust that, when the time comes to more forward, I will know it."
"FROM HOPE & TODAY"
This reading brought me around to a new way of thinking as well... That is what I am doing in this program..I am Melting away my icy layers... If you read my post yesterday, I was fighting some of those layers, that i had put into place early on in my life...And yes. As the layers slowly peal back, I am slowly, drudging along trying to figure out "WHO I AM"... Working with my HP helps, my life is much more "Slowed" which I didn't think could ever happen, but I can honestly say... I am Blessed to have the friends and family that I do weather it be immediate or my MIP family, I am blessed...
My hopes for this post is that someone else that is going thru this very thing can look at it as a step forward, and a chance to stop and smell the roses, and recognize that the snowman may melt away... But the beautiy that will fellow, will be well worth the struggle and the work to get were we need to be...
Friends in Recovery... Thanks for letting me Share... One day & One Layer at a Time... Jozie
Wow, how important it is to realize that there is no simple answer to any of our questions. I feel so bad when I see someone new who comes to a meeting and I know the feeling they have when they leave. It wasn't that long ago that I felt that. It is odd, embarassing, and appears to be very religious. At the end, they leave as soon as the meeting is over, while the rest of us gab a little bit. I want to say to them: trust us that in time, you will be comfortable, and uncomfortable, and feel sane, and feel insane.....
Trust that we are all here for some reason.
I was very driven two weeks ago to go to a new meeting. I have been going to one on Saturday night for several weeks. I was tired, had a headache, and of course did not feel comfortable going to another meeting, but I was just feeling uneasy, and something told me I needed to go. So at the last possible second, I jumped out of bed and raced to the meeting. I walked in, sat down and participated. I somehow knew I was "driven" to that meeting. Not THAT meeting as much as a meeting that night. About half way through the meeting, I said to myself...there was nothing that important here for me, and I questioned why I felt so driven to be there. The last person to speak said something that I instantly knew that was why I had been there. This situation helps me to trust in my HP. If I am supposed to go to a meeting, then I go now.
What a great analogy!!!!!!!!!!!!! I first was thinking Santa was gonna whip us some wind and bring Frosty back to life but then when you shared about the ice casing you were in, I loved the analogy.
Thanks so much for sharing and I am glad you are here with us, Maria
__________________
If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
This reading brought me around to a new way of thinking as well... That is what I am doing in this program..I am Melting away my icy layers... If you read my post yesterday, I was fighting some of those layers, that i had put into place early on in my life...And yes. As the layers slowly peal back, I am slowly, drudging along trying to figure out "WHO I AM"... Working with my HP helps, my life is much more "Slowed" which I didn't think could ever happen, but I can honestly say... I am Blessed to have the friends and family that I do weather it be immediate or my MIP family, I am blessed... 