Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Why can't people just say what they're thinking/feeling and let the chips fall where they may? Seems as if it's always I'm gonna tell em this but I'm really thinking that or I'm only gonna tell part of what I'm feeling and not say the rest for fear of what the other may say or do. The other thing is why can'...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

For the strangest reason, i find myself missing my ex AH more not less, even though my life is calmer. Because he got in touch via silent phone calls, i thought he missed me, he was just waiting to have a go at me (see previous post) but now his sister has asked him to leave me alone, now i feel left alone..fri...

Aquastrm · Aquastrm

I just wanted to let everyone know i thank you for all your advise and help on the board. My dad the night b-4 came to me and stated that he wanted me to give my AH a message from him about that he love's and cares about him like a son and he hope's that him and i work it out. I told him why dont you tell him? He said ok...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

...it seems as if its a broken record- try to attend some face to face al-anon meetings and see what happens! All you have to lose is an hour of your time or less because you can always choose to walk out if you want. Its the most basic and most relevant piece of information on this board that is often repea...

Aquastrm · Aquastrm

Hello all, Ok gotta get it off my chest and get opinions on the coversation with my AH this weekend. Well it started off with him getting drunk to the point of falling out of the shower 3 times while taking a 15 min shower. Then when it came down to dinner he wouldnt come into the house due to the fact my parent...

Maria123 · Maria123

The other night my son was sucker punched, dragged from the metro in D.C., kicked while he was down on the ground by 6 black punks. 6 against 1. Wheres the justice in that? He's all of 150 lbs. and 5'8". And all because he stood up for other people who he felt were more vulnerable than he was. No one else...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

The ex got a cell phone and we have been talking and texting. It has been friendly and polite although I know he wants me back and I'm not interested in going down that road again not to mention I'm very happy with someone else now. I'm hoping we can be "friends" and he can see the kids and maint...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

So yesterday was Easter and I made all the phone calls to wish folks a happy easter. Momma called me back and tells me up front that Sarah Sperry, my step sister, had a huge fiasco. She had moved down to TX with her boyfriend and moved in with him, not engaged, no backup plan, etc. And I was like, from the begi...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

As much as I wish I wasn't...I am.... still stuck. Still unable to move forward just yet. I'm getting to work, and taking care of my son and other things are still falling behind-laundry, yard work and other chores, and being a single parent this is not good. Haven't heard from EXABF and I can'...

Tracy · Tracy

Havent posted for a bit my computer playing up again. I was doing so well after the convention really got the focus on me although I decided to let AB go to be able to do this. Does recovery count if you can only do it when single its not detaching with love. But I never did it to make him change I did it cause...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

my AS just called, he is working on his bathroom (he stays rent free in a home I own), now he says he need a new hot water heater, we have helped with buying the fixtures he has needed. Also, he needs new tires, he needs to pay a ticket ($500) next week for not having car insurance, he needs to buy the car insur...

odaat · odaat

Hello all! I am returning to the board after realizing I can not do this alone anymore. My husbands drinking is spiraling out of control. We have a beautiful 8 year old daughter that deserves a normal childhood. She rarely has friends over since he is so unpredictable. I am a teacher in a local pub...

canadianguy · canadianguy

I just got back from a wonderful holiday with my kids to Southern California, Disneyland, etc... One of our many highlights was to take in an LA Angels v. Oakland A's baseball game, and we did so on April 8th. The starting pitcher for the A's that night was a young 23-year old - Nick Adenhart - who pitche...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Just wanted to thank you for everything yesterday. I needed to be mad to get to the serenity. I'm feeling alot better today. Thanks again.

Jozie · Jozie

OK, So... Tonight i have to call the land owners and see if they will agree to let baby Sister move in the trailer, they have done said... NO WAY Abrother, but I am HOPING for HP to carry me thru on this one... Here's the thing... When I got the certified letter, I called and told Abrother that he had till the...

Holly9 · Holly9

My husband and I have been together for 14 years now. We were 20 when we met. Drinking and partying were part of the age we were in but he had never slowed down. He has always been so easy going, funny, great sense of humor. He has been sober now for about 3 1/2 months. I know it's not that long but he is a to...

Jehnifer · Jehnifer

...my stomach hurts becasue of this recurring issue. I am mad at myself for not being able to handle it... Ive been remarried almost three years. My husband doesnt like it when my teenage daughter has friends over. I think its because his own daughters don't live with us and he feels jealous or sad. Bu...

Ness · Ness

sapped my Strength of late, but still hanging on to Hope by my fingernails. ALCOHOLISM is an EXPERIENCE of the last six years that has taken me to my knees.... My strength finally departed a few weeks ago...... after weeks of cries for help from my Ason, with him rejecting suggestions (all which ha...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Simply thank you all for your unconditional if not also inspiring and humbling love. Of course you are in my life by design and will of a Power Greater than Jerry F. My HP really lives and I can no longer outdistance HP as I once thought I had. Beyond my imagination. You all are real and really beyond m...

QOD · QOD

So my ex ah (now boyfriend) and I went to visit our son in Juvie Sunday. He seems to finally be adjusting. Granted he hates it in there but is adjusting to the fact that he is stuck in there until May 5 and he had best just deal with it. He is still craving McDonalds of all things and has requested we make a st...

clara · clara

Hubby and I went to Houston to see our "other daughter". She has a very normal life; no drama, thank God. She is the mother of my two beautiful twin granddaughters and is happily married. While we were there(been there about 30 minutes) and my cell rings. It is ADaugher. She actually did...

QOD · QOD

Well, this is what I have been pushing for the last 6 months. I have been working w/the school and the police to build a case against my son, proving that he is unruly and out of control so that I could get some help for him. I figured he needed a wake up call, eye opener from inside the Juvenile Detention Ho...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Okay headed off to the Super Saturday Al-Anon Family Group meeting without any expectations other than life would continue to be just the same ole, same ole gray dreary pain in the butt it has been lately. Of course before getting in the car one of my fishing poles that I tried to stack wouldn't cooper...

Jozie · Jozie

Hello MIP Family... Just wanted to wish you each and everyone a very Blessed Easter... I am beginning to get my wind back, it is a slow moving train, but at least it is going forward instead of backwords which I will take for now...Had a great dinner with my mom and sister, & niece.. .I think the best th...

peacewithin · peacewithin

Just wanted to wish my extended family Happy Easter. God Bless !

lmw · lmw

My A left a message a couple of hours ago saying he was being discharged from a hospital and asking if he could sleep in my van, then answered his own question with "it's probably no but I've got nowhere to go." I haven't taken any of his calls in 48 hours. But I know if I talk to him, I'll probabl...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

Good Morning and Happy Easter to all of those who celebrate this holiday -- I am new to this board but, not to the Alanon program itself, although I have been feeling its work in my life slip away as of late. I grew up with trauma and abuse in my life and have always struggled with self esteem and perpetual in...

milana24 · milana24

I know everyone's different, but is it possible for someone who has been drinking off and on (mostly ON) since he was 18 and he's now 59 to stop WITHOUT medical detox from a facility? He now admits that for the last couple of years he's been drinking huge amounts all at once and blacking out at times, unab...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

What can I say? I am still about the same. Life is good but sometimes I feel like I am living with no purpose. I haven't been attending enough Alanon meetings lately & my serenity really isn't there. I struggle with anger & being short with my AH. He doesn't do anything to provoke all of the r...

milana24 · milana24

I don't really believe this is all happening, but my looking the other way has finally caught up with me. My 59 year old bf and I have been living separately, but been together as a couple for most of the last 35 years. I'm 57 and we met when I was in college at 18 years old. The last year was an absolute nigh...

Inpain · Inpain

I have two questions. The first leads me to the second. My A and I had counceling this week and he has been dry 4 months. Our conselor said to start some activities with non-alcohol drinking friends. My A was very excited about doing that, only has no idea how. He doesn't know ANYONE on a friendship l...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Wasn't planning on going to my F2F meeting last night. Really didn't feel I had anything to offer anyone anywhere and had no intention of going in there and raining on everyone's parade with my "I don't know if I want to be a part of this program anymore or not" attitude. Well my sis in law had...

lmw · lmw

My A picked up again last Friday night. He got paid for a half month and today the money is gone. After being sober since mid-December, he's once again in the grips. It seems like he does this dance twice a year, minimum - spring and fall. And I'm resisting the urge to help him. He's got an arrest warra...

hort7 · hort7

And I was OK!!! So, I am new to Al-anon, I have posted once here and have been to 4 meetings. I went to a meeting on Wednesday and they were reading about slogans. On the drive home, I started thinking about why One Day at a Time is hard for me. I realized that from the time I was very small I was taught by my pare...

kitty · kitty

My b/f & I had a misunderstanding last night. I'm not really sure what happened, we tried to talk about it - we were both confused. He made a comment which I perceived very negatively - at any rate, I got up walked in the other room & burst into tears. I was trying to logically understand why I was c...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

Six of my husband's friends flew in from out of town to confront him about his drinking this morning. It only took a few minutes, but they managed to do what we haven't the past 3 days - and that was to get himself into rehab. So I helped check him in and it was quite a long process - the whole thing took about 2...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

My AH as you probably know, left me In January, left his business, his children who didnt live with us, but whom we saw every other weekend, and his whole life and went to the west indies, a geographical cure is what i believe its called, getting away from the problem. He told me he didnt love me as a husband...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

Horrible voice message on my landline last night from my AH who left me in January, I ended up all night and I have to go to work this morning. It went along the lines of "you will have to talk to me sometime" (will I?) I assume its you been telling my ex (mother of his daughter) that Ive got lots of m...

deserve_more · deserve_more

When I 1st came clean (maybe only a few months ago) to my oldest friends about my AH, I was in a crisis. After a few hrs on the phone (they're long distance), they convinced me to find activities to take care of myself' 'What makes you happy/peaceful/relaxed? What can you do to take care of you?' For me it wa...

marmare · marmare

I can't remember the last time I posted....My AH has been in a controlled drinking state for so long I had forgotten what it was like to sit and wait for the other shoe to drop...the last 3 weeks or so has been a reminder to me.....today I had to look up the 3 C's....didn't cause it, can't control it, and can'...

clara · clara

I have been reading and posting on this board for several weeks. So many have such horrible situations to deal with on a daily basis. Some of you have alcholic husband/or wife. Some have son or daughter that has the problem. Married to them, you have an oath you took before God, for better or worse,...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family))), I just wanted to take a moment to wish you all a Happy Passover and Blessed Easter Season. Passover starts tonight at sundown. Easter is only a few days away. After all that has happened to my town in the past week I am reminded how short life is. I have gone to a few public memorial servi...

inhisarms · inhisarms

Hey all, well as my last post states i have been living life for me. Not much contact with ABF and things were peacful. Toay i got a call telling me he relapsed, was seen drinking and passed out. I made a stand and kept my boundaries as i did not rush over.....I did make a few calls and found he has not been s...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Okay, so my A is going on two weeks sober. I need help keeping it simple. This is the thing: he has been gone from home 1/2 of the year for the last 10 years due to work. The time he is home he is under the influence of something 1/2 of the year. He has been home since November of 08 because he got hurt. And n...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

to anyone ever again that doesn't understand what it is like to have an addicted family member, in my case it's my firstborn son. I had a friend that I thought I could confide in, someone that cared about me. We have been friends for years, we became close when my son was a senior in high school and he was r...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

I truly do enjoy being home alone free to do anything my heart desires. Listen to "MY" music, watch my t.v. shows, mess around online, anything at all. Let my hair down so to speak. But as I was just looking around the kitchen to clean here and there, what do I find? A half gallon of Jack Daniels....

Jozie · Jozie

WOW... I can honestly say that I have not been this "strungout" in as long as I can remember, I can not focus on any one things for my mind will not let go of currant surroundings, today I went to town to just "Walk around" in Circles more or less because I didn't really need anything b...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well yesterday am woke up to an email from EXABF, whom I have not heard from in a week since he needed another "break" to "figure things out". It basically said that he really wasn't planning on doing any emailing this weekend but didn't want me to think he was ignoring me eithe...

maresie · maresie

I believe I stayed with the ex A because I did not want to deal with the wreckage of our relationship. When I met him I was on the up, good job, looked great, popular and had many choices. My credit was good. Now I don't look great (need to lose 40 lbs) my credit is wrecked need 5 years to clean it up, the econom...

maresie · maresie

Basically to really cut it short, children attache themselves to their parents by having a safe haven and an environment that is responsive to them. I grew up with neither. Violence and neglect were the common denominators of my childhood. So in doing a 4th step with my sponsor I'm beginning to see tha...

Tired Mom · Tired Mom

I want to thank everyone who responded to my initial post from 10 days ago. I'm sorry to say that since then things have spiralled our of control and I was forced to take drastic measures. My AH got in another car accident that he doesn't remember having, and that wasn't the only problem that week. As so...

stillkickin · stillkickin

The surgery went well, they only had to do a triple bypass. Docs said blood flow and etc was looking good, no complications. After surgery there wasn't much swelling and he had good skin tone. Around 2 am he was breathing on his own again and was sitting up and talking. Thank you to everyone for their pray...

Christi23 · Christi23

I'm new here. My AH was sober for 7 months and recently relapsed. I am trying to not do the codependent thing, I'm trying to not do things for him. I know he knows what to do, I know he knows he needs meetings multiple times a week to stay sober, but I can't force him to go to meetings. I used to drive him to m...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Wanted to thank everyone for the responses to my last post. You are a wonderful group of loving people no doubt. My head is still in a complete fog and I can barely communicate any kind of sensible thought. Everything in my head is just going round in circles and I can't settle it down for any of it to make...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I attended a fancy business/civic lunch yesterday- our organization bought a "table" at it and I was invited to be there as a rep. It was super "high school-ish"(women being catty and not talking to certain people, pecking order, dirty looks, ad nauseum as sometimes groups of...

Jozie · Jozie

Welp after being turned down by (3) Lawyers, I desided I was sick of it... Sooo I got a wild hair, and desided to go out on my own... I mean really.. What ever happened to picking up a phone or showing up on someones door step and saying "OK... This is what Is going on... How do ya want to work it out?"...

gardenfairy · gardenfairy

Hello, I am Pam (f2f) a/k/a gardenfairy! Just as I didn't know exactly what to not do at my first few meetings...I have gone and done a not to do again by stepping too fast before I read all the materials! This post is to replace the post I accidently replied to on a sticky post. I hereby give the moderato...

silver brumby · silver brumby

Gee, this is getting deeper the further I go into recovery. Initially it was easy but now the mirror has turned on me. It's scary as I am alone now and dealing with myself. I want to contact my AH and get inside his head. With out him to react to and hassle all the time I am having to deal with myself. I have to f...

inhisarms · inhisarms

Hi my MIP family...just wanted to let you all know im still lurking everyday and gaining insight and ESH.....I just wanted to share what my HP has done for me. A few weeks ago a new job was actually thrown in my lap, after praying for one. Little did I know that this was truely a blessing financially but a...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

Well my husband has told me that he does NOT want to go to rehab (been there, done that). He doesn't believe in it. He knows that his drinking got out of control, but that's only because he has been stressed out. He thinks that as long as he can control his drinking, he will still be able to drink. I didn't...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Why cant???? (Preview) Why can't people just say what they're thinking/feeling and let the chips fall where they may? Seems as if it's always I'm gonna tell em this but I'm really thinking that or I'm only gonna tell part of what I'm feeling and not say the rest for fear of what the other may say or do. The other thing is why can'...	carolinagirl	5	549	Apr 16, 2009 by Jean4444
	How can I miss him..am I delusional (Preview) For the strangest reason, i find myself missing my ex AH more not less, even though my life is calmer. Because he got in touch via silent phone calls, i thought he missed me, he was just waiting to have a go at me (see previous post) but now his sister has asked him to leave me alone, now i feel left alone..fri...	Lilly Burn	10	619	Apr 16, 2009 by Jean4444
	Thanks (Preview) I just wanted to let everyone know i thank you for all your advise and help on the board. My dad the night b-4 came to me and stated that he wanted me to give my AH a message from him about that he love's and cares about him like a son and he hope's that him and i work it out. I told him why dont you tell him? He said ok...	Aquastrm	2	528	Apr 16, 2009 by Jerry F
	F2F (Preview) ...it seems as if its a broken record- try to attend some face to face al-anon meetings and see what happens! All you have to lose is an hour of your time or less because you can always choose to walk out if you want. Its the most basic and most relevant piece of information on this board that is often repea...	Jean4444	7	715	Apr 15, 2009 by Maria123
	Ruff Weekend (Preview) Hello all, Ok gotta get it off my chest and get opinions on the coversation with my AH this weekend. Well it started off with him getting drunk to the point of falling out of the shower 3 times while taking a 15 min shower. Then when it came down to dinner he wouldnt come into the house due to the fact my parent...	Aquastrm	6	779	Apr 15, 2009 by freefalling
	I am trying not to be so angry (Preview) The other night my son was sucker punched, dragged from the metro in D.C., kicked while he was down on the ground by 6 black punks. 6 against 1. Wheres the justice in that? He's all of 150 lbs. and 5'8". And all because he stood up for other people who he felt were more vulnerable than he was. No one else...	Maria123	14	875	Apr 15, 2009 by Maria123
	Been talking to the ex AH (Preview) The ex got a cell phone and we have been talking and texting. It has been friendly and polite although I know he wants me back and I'm not interested in going down that road again not to mention I'm very happy with someone else now. I'm hoping we can be "friends" and he can see the kids and maint...	carolinagirl	4	631	Apr 15, 2009 by maresie
	I'll feel better eventually (Preview) So yesterday was Easter and I made all the phone calls to wish folks a happy easter. Momma called me back and tells me up front that Sarah Sperry, my step sister, had a huge fiasco. She had moved down to TX with her boyfriend and moved in with him, not engaged, no backup plan, etc. And I was like, from the begi...	Tiger2006	6	693	Apr 15, 2009 by maresie
	Still stuck in this feelingless, confusing, numb fog.....What is HP trying to tell me? (Preview) As much as I wish I wasn't...I am.... still stuck. Still unable to move forward just yet. I'm getting to work, and taking care of my son and other things are still falling behind-laundry, yard work and other chores, and being a single parent this is not good. Haven't heard from EXABF and I can'...	shellyj123	6	1532	Apr 15, 2009 by gngcrzy
	my recovery (Preview) Havent posted for a bit my computer playing up again. I was doing so well after the convention really got the focus on me although I decided to let AB go to be able to do this. Does recovery count if you can only do it when single its not detaching with love. But I never did it to make him change I did it cause...	Tracy	3	769	Apr 15, 2009 by RunnerChick
	I Can't Keep All The Balls In The Air....... (Preview) my AS just called, he is working on his bathroom (he stays rent free in a home I own), now he says he need a new hot water heater, we have helped with buying the fixtures he has needed. Also, he needs new tires, he needs to pay a ticket ($500) next week for not having car insurance, he needs to buy the car insur...	DreamsOver	9	564	Apr 15, 2009 by clara
	Not Sure What Will Happen Next... (Preview) Hello all! I am returning to the board after realizing I can not do this alone anymore. My husbands drinking is spiraling out of control. We have a beautiful 8 year old daughter that deserves a normal childhood. She rarely has friends over since he is so unpredictable. I am a teacher in a local pub...	odaat	10	663	Apr 14, 2009 by Jerry F
	Three Sad Sports Related Stories - one common theme.... alcohol (Preview) I just got back from a wonderful holiday with my kids to Southern California, Disneyland, etc... One of our many highlights was to take in an LA Angels v. Oakland A's baseball game, and we did so on April 8th. The starting pitcher for the A's that night was a young 23-year old - Nick Adenhart - who pitche...	canadianguy	7	881	Apr 14, 2009 by Jerry F
	Just wanted to say thank you (Preview) Just wanted to thank you for everything yesterday. I needed to be mad to get to the serenity. I'm feeling alot better today. Thanks again.	Tiger2006	1	438	Apr 14, 2009 by Jerry F
	A Touch Conflicted ??? (Preview) OK, So... Tonight i have to call the land owners and see if they will agree to let baby Sister move in the trailer, they have done said... NO WAY Abrother, but I am HOPING for HP to carry me thru on this one... Here's the thing... When I got the certified letter, I called and told Abrother that he had till the...	Jozie	3	712	Apr 14, 2009 by Jozie
	He's a different person now (Preview) My husband and I have been together for 14 years now. We were 20 when we met. Drinking and partying were part of the age we were in but he had never slowed down. He has always been so easy going, funny, great sense of humor. He has been sober now for about 3 1/2 months. I know it's not that long but he is a to...	Holly9	9	850	Apr 14, 2009 by thinkstoomuch
	He doesnt like when my daughter... (Preview) ...my stomach hurts becasue of this recurring issue. I am mad at myself for not being able to handle it... Ive been remarried almost three years. My husband doesnt like it when my teenage daughter has friends over. I think its because his own daughters don't live with us and he feels jealous or sad. Bu...	Jehnifer	4	920	Apr 14, 2009 by hotrod
	Experience has..... (Preview) sapped my Strength of late, but still hanging on to Hope by my fingernails. ALCOHOLISM is an EXPERIENCE of the last six years that has taken me to my knees.... My strength finally departed a few weeks ago...... after weeks of cries for help from my Ason, with him rejecting suggestions (all which ha...	Ness	6	686	Apr 14, 2009 by Ness
	Gratitude... (Preview) Simply thank you all for your unconditional if not also inspiring and humbling love. Of course you are in my life by design and will of a Power Greater than Jerry F. My HP really lives and I can no longer outdistance HP as I once thought I had. Beyond my imagination. You all are real and really beyond m...	Jerry F	7	868	Apr 13, 2009 by Jerry F
	Things are looking up for the moment! (Preview) So my ex ah (now boyfriend) and I went to visit our son in Juvie Sunday. He seems to finally be adjusting. Granted he hates it in there but is adjusting to the fact that he is stuck in there until May 5 and he had best just deal with it. He is still craving McDonalds of all things and has requested we make a st...	QOD	1	472	Apr 13, 2009 by java
	She make me so angry!!! (Preview) Hubby and I went to Houston to see our "other daughter". She has a very normal life; no drama, thank God. She is the mother of my two beautiful twin granddaughters and is happily married. While we were there(been there about 30 minutes) and my cell rings. It is ADaugher. She actually did...	clara	6	557	Apr 13, 2009 by clara
	My son is in Juvie now (Preview) Well, this is what I have been pushing for the last 6 months. I have been working w/the school and the police to build a case against my son, proving that he is unruly and out of control so that I could get some help for him. I figured he needed a wake up call, eye opener from inside the Juvenile Detention Ho...	QOD	8	575	Apr 13, 2009 by QOD
	Grrrr attitude (Preview) Okay headed off to the Super Saturday Al-Anon Family Group meeting without any expectations other than life would continue to be just the same ole, same ole gray dreary pain in the butt it has been lately. Of course before getting in the car one of my fishing poles that I tried to stack wouldn't cooper...	Jerry F	16	607	Apr 13, 2009 by thinkstoomuch
	Get'n it back,,, One Day At A time... :) (Preview) Hello MIP Family... Just wanted to wish you each and everyone a very Blessed Easter... I am beginning to get my wind back, it is a slow moving train, but at least it is going forward instead of backwords which I will take for now...Had a great dinner with my mom and sister, & niece.. .I think the best th...	Jozie	4	470	Apr 13, 2009 by Ness
	Happy Easter (Preview) Just wanted to wish my extended family Happy Easter. God Bless !	peacewithin	6	382	Apr 13, 2009 by Christy
	Feeling guilty ... but not picking up the phone (Preview) My A left a message a couple of hours ago saying he was being discharged from a hospital and asking if he could sleep in my van, then answered his own question with "it's probably no but I've got nowhere to go." I haven't taken any of his calls in 48 hours. But I know if I talk to him, I'll probabl...	lmw	8	596	Apr 13, 2009 by Jerry F
	New to the Board, not new to Alanon (Preview) Good Morning and Happy Easter to all of those who celebrate this holiday -- I am new to this board but, not to the Alanon program itself, although I have been feeling its work in my life slip away as of late. I grew up with trauma and abuse in my life and have always struggled with self esteem and perpetual in...	RunnerChick	7	518	Apr 13, 2009 by Jerry F
	Is it possible? (Preview) I know everyone's different, but is it possible for someone who has been drinking off and on (mostly ON) since he was 18 and he's now 59 to stop WITHOUT medical detox from a facility? He now admits that for the last couple of years he's been drinking huge amounts all at once and blacking out at times, unab...	milana24	1	743	Apr 13, 2009 by Jerry F
	Still hanging in there! (Preview) What can I say? I am still about the same. Life is good but sometimes I feel like I am living with no purpose. I haven't been attending enough Alanon meetings lately & my serenity really isn't there. I struggle with anger & being short with my AH. He doesn't do anything to provoke all of the r...	Hoot Nanny	2	491	Apr 12, 2009 by clara
	New here & it's all come to a head (Preview) I don't really believe this is all happening, but my looking the other way has finally caught up with me. My 59 year old bf and I have been living separately, but been together as a couple for most of the last 35 years. I'm 57 and we met when I was in college at 18 years old. The last year was an absolute nigh...	milana24	8	541	Apr 12, 2009 by milana24
	Two questions - 1 about control? (Preview) I have two questions. The first leads me to the second. My A and I had counceling this week and he has been dry 4 months. Our conselor said to start some activities with non-alcohol drinking friends. My A was very excited about doing that, only has no idea how. He doesn't know ANYONE on a friendship l...	Inpain	11	669	Apr 12, 2009 by lmw
	Still holding on......digging in with both feet. (Preview) Wasn't planning on going to my F2F meeting last night. Really didn't feel I had anything to offer anyone anywhere and had no intention of going in there and raining on everyone's parade with my "I don't know if I want to be a part of this program anymore or not" attitude. Well my sis in law had...	shellyj123	5	588	Apr 12, 2009 by maire rua
	Resisting the urge to fix everything for him.... (Preview) My A picked up again last Friday night. He got paid for a half month and today the money is gone. After being sober since mid-December, he's once again in the grips. It seems like he does this dance twice a year, minimum - spring and fall. And I'm resisting the urge to help him. He's got an arrest warra...	lmw	7	560	Apr 12, 2009 by abbyal
	I did something new! (Preview) And I was OK!!! So, I am new to Al-anon, I have posted once here and have been to 4 meetings. I went to a meeting on Wednesday and they were reading about slogans. On the drive home, I started thinking about why One Day at a Time is hard for me. I realized that from the time I was very small I was taught by my pare...	hort7	7	520	Apr 12, 2009 by hort7
	conflict & letting it go (Preview) My b/f & I had a misunderstanding last night. I'm not really sure what happened, we tried to talk about it - we were both confused. He made a comment which I perceived very negatively - at any rate, I got up walked in the other room & burst into tears. I was trying to logically understand why I was c...	kitty	6	547	Apr 12, 2009 by RunnerChick
	Husband in Detox (Preview) Six of my husband's friends flew in from out of town to confront him about his drinking this morning. It only took a few minutes, but they managed to do what we haven't the past 3 days - and that was to get himself into rehab. So I helped check him in and it was quite a long process - the whole thing took about 2...	N8SMOM	5	363	Apr 12, 2009 by Karilynn
	Non Phone calls alert (Preview) My AH as you probably know, left me In January, left his business, his children who didnt live with us, but whom we saw every other weekend, and his whole life and went to the west indies, a geographical cure is what i believe its called, getting away from the problem. He told me he didnt love me as a husband...	Lilly Burn	3	790	Apr 12, 2009 by Karilynn
	The show has started - non phone calls were prelude to nasty messages (Preview) Horrible voice message on my landline last night from my AH who left me in January, I ended up all night and I have to go to work this morning. It went along the lines of "you will have to talk to me sometime" (will I?) I assume its you been telling my ex (mother of his daughter) that Ive got lots of m...	Lilly Burn	7	559	Apr 11, 2009 by Jerry F
	So how do you relieve stress of dealing with your A? (Preview) When I 1st came clean (maybe only a few months ago) to my oldest friends about my AH, I was in a crisis. After a few hrs on the phone (they're long distance), they convinced me to find activities to take care of myself' 'What makes you happy/peaceful/relaxed? What can you do to take care of you?' For me it wa...	deserve_more	8	575	Apr 11, 2009 by Sis63
	Been a Long Time (Preview) I can't remember the last time I posted....My AH has been in a controlled drinking state for so long I had forgotten what it was like to sit and wait for the other shoe to drop...the last 3 weeks or so has been a reminder to me.....today I had to look up the 3 C's....didn't cause it, can't control it, and can'...	marmare	4	468	Apr 11, 2009 by bcanuck
	Which situation is harder to deal with; spouce or children (Preview) I have been reading and posting on this board for several weeks. So many have such horrible situations to deal with on a daily basis. Some of you have alcholic husband/or wife. Some have son or daughter that has the problem. Married to them, you have an oath you took before God, for better or worse,...	clara	11	572	Apr 11, 2009 by Dale
	Happy Passover and Happy Easter (Preview) ((((Family))), I just wanted to take a moment to wish you all a Happy Passover and Blessed Easter Season. Passover starts tonight at sundown. Easter is only a few days away. After all that has happened to my town in the past week I am reminded how short life is. I have gone to a few public memorial servi...	Karilynn	4	543	Apr 10, 2009 by cookie1971
	PRAYERS AND ESH NEEDED ASAP (Preview) Hey all, well as my last post states i have been living life for me. Not much contact with ABF and things were peacful. Toay i got a call telling me he relapsed, was seen drinking and passed out. I made a stand and kept my boundaries as i did not rush over.....I did make a few calls and found he has not been s...	inhisarms	5	630	Apr 10, 2009 by inhisarms
	Keeping it Simple (Preview) Okay, so my A is going on two weeks sober. I need help keeping it simple. This is the thing: he has been gone from home 1/2 of the year for the last 10 years due to work. The time he is home he is under the influence of something 1/2 of the year. He has been home since November of 08 because he got hurt. And n...	Sincerely	2	516	Apr 10, 2009 by abbyal
	I Will Not Talk.......... (Preview) to anyone ever again that doesn't understand what it is like to have an addicted family member, in my case it's my firstborn son. I had a friend that I thought I could confide in, someone that cared about me. We have been friends for years, we became close when my son was a senior in high school and he was r...	DreamsOver	11	632	Apr 10, 2009 by kitty
	I love being home alone... (Preview) I truly do enjoy being home alone free to do anything my heart desires. Listen to "MY" music, watch my t.v. shows, mess around online, anything at all. Let my hair down so to speak. But as I was just looking around the kitchen to clean here and there, what do I find? A half gallon of Jack Daniels....	wildthang86	7	586	Apr 10, 2009 by wildthang86
	ESH ESH ESH ESH ESH ESH ESH & ESH Please.... (Preview) WOW... I can honestly say that I have not been this "strungout" in as long as I can remember, I can not focus on any one things for my mind will not let go of currant surroundings, today I went to town to just "Walk around" in Circles more or less because I didn't really need anything b...	Jozie	9	611	Apr 10, 2009 by Jozie
	Snapped......I finally just snapped-HELP!! In need of ESH badly... (Preview) Well yesterday am woke up to an email from EXABF, whom I have not heard from in a week since he needed another "break" to "figure things out". It basically said that he really wasn't planning on doing any emailing this weekend but didn't want me to think he was ignoring me eithe...	shellyj123	6	465	Apr 10, 2009 by grateful
	Dealing with reality - a huge mess! (Preview) I believe I stayed with the ex A because I did not want to deal with the wreckage of our relationship. When I met him I was on the up, good job, looked great, popular and had many choices. My credit was good. Now I don't look great (need to lose 40 lbs) my credit is wrecked need 5 years to clean it up, the econom...	maresie	2	623	Apr 10, 2009 by lavaboy
	attachment theory and how it relates to my going too fast in relationships (Preview) Basically to really cut it short, children attache themselves to their parents by having a safe haven and an environment that is responsive to them. I grew up with neither. Violence and neglect were the common denominators of my childhood. So in doing a 4th step with my sponsor I'm beginning to see tha...	maresie	6	505	Apr 9, 2009 by drucilla06
	Still here and lurking (Preview) I want to thank everyone who responded to my initial post from 10 days ago. I'm sorry to say that since then things have spiralled our of control and I was forced to take drastic measures. My AH got in another car accident that he doesn't remember having, and that wasn't the only problem that week. As so...	Tired Mom	4	550	Apr 9, 2009 by clara
	An update on my Dad... (Preview) The surgery went well, they only had to do a triple bypass. Docs said blood flow and etc was looking good, no complications. After surgery there wasn't much swelling and he had good skin tone. Around 2 am he was breathing on his own again and was sitting up and talking. Thank you to everyone for their pray...	stillkickin	9	462	Apr 9, 2009 by Peggy7
	New here - AH relapsed recently - worried (Preview) I'm new here. My AH was sober for 7 months and recently relapsed. I am trying to not do the codependent thing, I'm trying to not do things for him. I know he knows what to do, I know he knows he needs meetings multiple times a week to stay sober, but I can't force him to go to meetings. I used to drive him to m...	Christi23	7	631	Apr 9, 2009 by CJ
	Still here but no so much really~ (Preview) Wanted to thank everyone for the responses to my last post. You are a wonderful group of loving people no doubt. My head is still in a complete fog and I can barely communicate any kind of sensible thought. Everything in my head is just going round in circles and I can't settle it down for any of it to make...	shellyj123	7	518	Apr 9, 2009 by Jerry F
	taking a different approach (Preview) I attended a fancy business/civic lunch yesterday- our organization bought a "table" at it and I was invited to be there as a rep. It was super "high school-ish"(women being catty and not talking to certain people, pecking order, dirty looks, ad nauseum as sometimes groups of...	Jean4444	8	624	Apr 9, 2009 by Jerry F
	And so the ball continues to roll Up Hill.... (Preview) Welp after being turned down by (3) Lawyers, I desided I was sick of it... Sooo I got a wild hair, and desided to go out on my own... I mean really.. What ever happened to picking up a phone or showing up on someones door step and saying "OK... This is what Is going on... How do ya want to work it out?"...	Jozie	3	439	Apr 9, 2009 by blender_girl
	Letting Go and Letting God - I found myself stepping into divine intervention (Preview) Hello, I am Pam (f2f) a/k/a gardenfairy! Just as I didn't know exactly what to not do at my first few meetings...I have gone and done a not to do again by stepping too fast before I read all the materials! This post is to replace the post I accidently replied to on a sticky post. I hereby give the moderato...	gardenfairy	7	648	Apr 9, 2009 by gardenfairy
	Addicted to alcoholic (Preview) Gee, this is getting deeper the further I go into recovery. Initially it was easy but now the mirror has turned on me. It's scary as I am alone now and dealing with myself. I want to contact my AH and get inside his head. With out him to react to and hassle all the time I am having to deal with myself. I have to f...	silver brumby	8	592	Apr 9, 2009 by maresie
	Keeping busy (Preview) Hi my MIP family...just wanted to let you all know im still lurking everyday and gaining insight and ESH.....I just wanted to share what my HP has done for me. A few weeks ago a new job was actually thrown in my lap, after praying for one. Little did I know that this was truely a blessing financially but a...	inhisarms	4	969	Apr 9, 2009 by Jean4444
	Update (Preview) Well my husband has told me that he does NOT want to go to rehab (been there, done that). He doesn't believe in it. He knows that his drinking got out of control, but that's only because he has been stressed out. He thinks that as long as he can control his drinking, he will still be able to drink. I didn't...	N8SMOM	4	486	Apr 9, 2009 by clara
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.