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Experience has.....
(Preview)
sapped my Strength of late, but still hanging on to Hope by my fingernails. ALCOHOLISM is an EXPERIENCE of the last six years that has taken me to my knees.... My strength finally departed a few weeks ago...... after weeks of cries for help from my Ason, with him rejecting suggestions (all which ha...
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Ness
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6
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667
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Gratitude...
(Preview)
Simply thank you all for your unconditional if not also inspiring and humbling love. Of course you are in my life by design and will of a Power Greater than Jerry F. My HP really lives and I can no longer outdistance HP as I once thought I had. Beyond my imagination. You all are real and really beyond m...
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Jerry F
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7
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850
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Things are looking up for the moment!
(Preview)
So my ex ah (now boyfriend) and I went to visit our son in Juvie Sunday. He seems to finally be adjusting. Granted he hates it in there but is adjusting to the fact that he is stuck in there until May 5 and he had best just deal with it. He is still craving McDonalds of all things and has requested we make a st...
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QOD
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1
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456
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She make me so angry!!!
(Preview)
Hubby and I went to Houston to see our "other daughter". She has a very normal life; no drama, thank God. She is the mother of my two beautiful twin granddaughters and is happily married. While we were there(been there about 30 minutes) and my cell rings. It is ADaugher. She actually did...
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clara
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6
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541
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My son is in Juvie now
(Preview)
Well, this is what I have been pushing for the last 6 months. I have been working w/the school and the police to build a case against my son, proving that he is unruly and out of control so that I could get some help for him. I figured he needed a wake up call, eye opener from inside the Juvenile Detention Ho...
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QOD
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8
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559
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Grrrr attitude
(Preview)
Okay headed off to the Super Saturday Al-Anon Family Group meeting without any expectations other than life would continue to be just the same ole, same ole gray dreary pain in the butt it has been lately. Of course before getting in the car one of my fishing poles that I tried to stack wouldn't cooper...
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Jerry F
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16
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589
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Get'n it back,,, One Day At A time... :)
(Preview)
Hello MIP Family... Just wanted to wish you each and everyone a very Blessed Easter... I am beginning to get my wind back, it is a slow moving train, but at least it is going forward instead of backwords which I will take for now...Had a great dinner with my mom and sister, & niece.. .I think the best th...
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Jozie
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4
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454
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Happy Easter
(Preview)
Just wanted to wish my extended family Happy Easter. God Bless !
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peacewithin
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6
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366
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Feeling guilty ... but not picking up the phone
(Preview)
My A left a message a couple of hours ago saying he was being discharged from a hospital and asking if he could sleep in my van, then answered his own question with "it's probably no but I've got nowhere to go." I haven't taken any of his calls in 48 hours. But I know if I talk to him, I'll probabl...
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lmw
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8
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577
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New to the Board, not new to Alanon
(Preview)
Good Morning and Happy Easter to all of those who celebrate this holiday -- I am new to this board but, not to the Alanon program itself, although I have been feeling its work in my life slip away as of late. I grew up with trauma and abuse in my life and have always struggled with self esteem and perpetual in...
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RunnerChick
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7
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499
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Is it possible?
(Preview)
I know everyone's different, but is it possible for someone who has been drinking off and on (mostly ON) since he was 18 and he's now 59 to stop WITHOUT medical detox from a facility? He now admits that for the last couple of years he's been drinking huge amounts all at once and blacking out at times, unab...
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milana24
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1
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719
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Still hanging in there!
(Preview)
What can I say? I am still about the same. Life is good but sometimes I feel like I am living with no purpose. I haven't been attending enough Alanon meetings lately & my serenity really isn't there. I struggle with anger & being short with my AH. He doesn't do anything to provoke all of the r...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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477
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New here & it's all come to a head
(Preview)
I don't really believe this is all happening, but my looking the other way has finally caught up with me. My 59 year old bf and I have been living separately, but been together as a couple for most of the last 35 years. I'm 57 and we met when I was in college at 18 years old. The last year was an absolute nigh...
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milana24
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8
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519
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Two questions - 1 about control?
(Preview)
I have two questions. The first leads me to the second. My A and I had counceling this week and he has been dry 4 months. Our conselor said to start some activities with non-alcohol drinking friends. My A was very excited about doing that, only has no idea how. He doesn't know ANYONE on a friendship l...
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Inpain
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11
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650
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Still holding on......digging in with both feet.
(Preview)
Wasn't planning on going to my F2F meeting last night. Really didn't feel I had anything to offer anyone anywhere and had no intention of going in there and raining on everyone's parade with my "I don't know if I want to be a part of this program anymore or not" attitude. Well my sis in law had...
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shellyj123
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5
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575
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Resisting the urge to fix everything for him....
(Preview)
My A picked up again last Friday night. He got paid for a half month and today the money is gone. After being sober since mid-December, he's once again in the grips. It seems like he does this dance twice a year, minimum - spring and fall. And I'm resisting the urge to help him. He's got an arrest warra...
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lmw
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7
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545
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I did something new!
(Preview)
And I was OK!!! So, I am new to Al-anon, I have posted once here and have been to 4 meetings. I went to a meeting on Wednesday and they were reading about slogans. On the drive home, I started thinking about why One Day at a Time is hard for me. I realized that from the time I was very small I was taught by my pare...
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hort7
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7
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501
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conflict & letting it go
(Preview)
My b/f & I had a misunderstanding last night. I'm not really sure what happened, we tried to talk about it - we were both confused. He made a comment which I perceived very negatively - at any rate, I got up walked in the other room & burst into tears. I was trying to logically understand why I was c...
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kitty
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6
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528
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Husband in Detox
(Preview)
Six of my husband's friends flew in from out of town to confront him about his drinking this morning. It only took a few minutes, but they managed to do what we haven't the past 3 days - and that was to get himself into rehab. So I helped check him in and it was quite a long process - the whole thing took about 2...
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N8SMOM
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5
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343
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Non Phone calls alert
(Preview)
My AH as you probably know, left me In January, left his business, his children who didnt live with us, but whom we saw every other weekend, and his whole life and went to the west indies, a geographical cure is what i believe its called, getting away from the problem. He told me he didnt love me as a husband...
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Lilly Burn
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3
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772
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The show has started - non phone calls were prelude to nasty messages
(Preview)
Horrible voice message on my landline last night from my AH who left me in January, I ended up all night and I have to go to work this morning. It went along the lines of "you will have to talk to me sometime" (will I?) I assume its you been telling my ex (mother of his daughter) that Ive got lots of m...
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Lilly Burn
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7
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541
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So how do you relieve stress of dealing with your A?
(Preview)
When I 1st came clean (maybe only a few months ago) to my oldest friends about my AH, I was in a crisis. After a few hrs on the phone (they're long distance), they convinced me to find activities to take care of myself' 'What makes you happy/peaceful/relaxed? What can you do to take care of you?' For me it wa...
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deserve_more
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8
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561
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Been a Long Time
(Preview)
I can't remember the last time I posted....My AH has been in a controlled drinking state for so long I had forgotten what it was like to sit and wait for the other shoe to drop...the last 3 weeks or so has been a reminder to me.....today I had to look up the 3 C's....didn't cause it, can't control it, and can'...
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marmare
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4
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452
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Which situation is harder to deal with; spouce or children
(Preview)
I have been reading and posting on this board for several weeks. So many have such horrible situations to deal with on a daily basis. Some of you have alcholic husband/or wife. Some have son or daughter that has the problem. Married to them, you have an oath you took before God, for better or worse,...
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clara
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11
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556
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Happy Passover and Happy Easter
(Preview)
((((Family))), I just wanted to take a moment to wish you all a Happy Passover and Blessed Easter Season. Passover starts tonight at sundown. Easter is only a few days away. After all that has happened to my town in the past week I am reminded how short life is. I have gone to a few public memorial servi...
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Karilynn
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4
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527
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PRAYERS AND ESH NEEDED ASAP
(Preview)
Hey all, well as my last post states i have been living life for me. Not much contact with ABF and things were peacful. Toay i got a call telling me he relapsed, was seen drinking and passed out. I made a stand and kept my boundaries as i did not rush over.....I did make a few calls and found he has not been s...
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inhisarms
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5
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610
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Keeping it Simple
(Preview)
Okay, so my A is going on two weeks sober. I need help keeping it simple. This is the thing: he has been gone from home 1/2 of the year for the last 10 years due to work. The time he is home he is under the influence of something 1/2 of the year. He has been home since November of 08 because he got hurt. And n...
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Sincerely
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2
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499
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I Will Not Talk..........
(Preview)
to anyone ever again that doesn't understand what it is like to have an addicted family member, in my case it's my firstborn son. I had a friend that I thought I could confide in, someone that cared about me. We have been friends for years, we became close when my son was a senior in high school and he was r...
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DreamsOver
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11
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581
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I love being home alone...
(Preview)
I truly do enjoy being home alone free to do anything my heart desires. Listen to "MY" music, watch my t.v. shows, mess around online, anything at all. Let my hair down so to speak. But as I was just looking around the kitchen to clean here and there, what do I find? A half gallon of Jack Daniels....
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wildthang86
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7
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560
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ESH ESH ESH ESH ESH ESH ESH & ESH Please....
(Preview)
WOW... I can honestly say that I have not been this "strungout" in as long as I can remember, I can not focus on any one things for my mind will not let go of currant surroundings, today I went to town to just "Walk around" in Circles more or less because I didn't really need anything b...
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Jozie
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9
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584
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Snapped......I finally just snapped-HELP!! In need of ESH badly...
(Preview)
Well yesterday am woke up to an email from EXABF, whom I have not heard from in a week since he needed another "break" to "figure things out". It basically said that he really wasn't planning on doing any emailing this weekend but didn't want me to think he was ignoring me eithe...
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shellyj123
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6
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446
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Dealing with reality - a huge mess!
(Preview)
I believe I stayed with the ex A because I did not want to deal with the wreckage of our relationship. When I met him I was on the up, good job, looked great, popular and had many choices. My credit was good. Now I don't look great (need to lose 40 lbs) my credit is wrecked need 5 years to clean it up, the econom...
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maresie
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2
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607
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attachment theory and how it relates to my going too fast in relationships
(Preview)
Basically to really cut it short, children attache themselves to their parents by having a safe haven and an environment that is responsive to them. I grew up with neither. Violence and neglect were the common denominators of my childhood. So in doing a 4th step with my sponsor I'm beginning to see tha...
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maresie
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6
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489
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Still here and lurking
(Preview)
I want to thank everyone who responded to my initial post from 10 days ago. I'm sorry to say that since then things have spiralled our of control and I was forced to take drastic measures. My AH got in another car accident that he doesn't remember having, and that wasn't the only problem that week. As so...
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Tired Mom
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4
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533
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An update on my Dad...
(Preview)
The surgery went well, they only had to do a triple bypass. Docs said blood flow and etc was looking good, no complications. After surgery there wasn't much swelling and he had good skin tone. Around 2 am he was breathing on his own again and was sitting up and talking. Thank you to everyone for their pray...
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stillkickin
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9
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444
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New here - AH relapsed recently - worried
(Preview)
I'm new here. My AH was sober for 7 months and recently relapsed. I am trying to not do the codependent thing, I'm trying to not do things for him. I know he knows what to do, I know he knows he needs meetings multiple times a week to stay sober, but I can't force him to go to meetings. I used to drive him to m...
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Christi23
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7
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613
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Still here but no so much really~
(Preview)
Wanted to thank everyone for the responses to my last post. You are a wonderful group of loving people no doubt. My head is still in a complete fog and I can barely communicate any kind of sensible thought. Everything in my head is just going round in circles and I can't settle it down for any of it to make...
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shellyj123
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7
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501
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taking a different approach
(Preview)
I attended a fancy business/civic lunch yesterday- our organization bought a "table" at it and I was invited to be there as a rep. It was super "high school-ish"(women being catty and not talking to certain people, pecking order, dirty looks, ad nauseum as sometimes groups of...
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Jean4444
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8
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603
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And so the ball continues to roll Up Hill....
(Preview)
Welp after being turned down by (3) Lawyers, I desided I was sick of it... Sooo I got a wild hair, and desided to go out on my own... I mean really.. What ever happened to picking up a phone or showing up on someones door step and saying "OK... This is what Is going on... How do ya want to work it out?"...
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Jozie
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3
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423
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Letting Go and Letting God - I found myself stepping into divine intervention
(Preview)
Hello, I am Pam (f2f) a/k/a gardenfairy! Just as I didn't know exactly what to not do at my first few meetings...I have gone and done a not to do again by stepping too fast before I read all the materials! This post is to replace the post I accidently replied to on a sticky post. I hereby give the moderato...
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gardenfairy
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7
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628
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Addicted to alcoholic
(Preview)
Gee, this is getting deeper the further I go into recovery. Initially it was easy but now the mirror has turned on me. It's scary as I am alone now and dealing with myself. I want to contact my AH and get inside his head. With out him to react to and hassle all the time I am having to deal with myself. I have to f...
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silver brumby
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8
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574
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Keeping busy
(Preview)
Hi my MIP family...just wanted to let you all know im still lurking everyday and gaining insight and ESH.....I just wanted to share what my HP has done for me. A few weeks ago a new job was actually thrown in my lap, after praying for one. Little did I know that this was truely a blessing financially but a...
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inhisarms
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4
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951
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Update
(Preview)
Well my husband has told me that he does NOT want to go to rehab (been there, done that). He doesn't believe in it. He knows that his drinking got out of control, but that's only because he has been stressed out. He thinks that as long as he can control his drinking, he will still be able to drink. I didn't...
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N8SMOM
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4
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466
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Out Patient Recovery
(Preview)
Hi again. My AH is going to an alcoholic counsler today. But I pushed the issue. I said I have to leave or you get some help. He missed his first appointment 2 weeks ago. He is pissed off coz He has to take a breathalizor test before he goes in. I just don't want to get my hopes up. I don't want to feel the pain...
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peacewithin
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5
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461
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Things I am powerless over
(Preview)
At the suggestion of my sponsor, I am revisiting Step 1 and making a list of things I am powerless over. Feel free to add to this list or comment as you see fit - hopefully someone besides me will get something out of this. At a high level, my powerlessness can be summed up to encompass a few rather large are...
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blender_girl
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4
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7541
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Husband's Drinking is out of Control
(Preview)
I found my husband passed out in the garage this morning (where he hides his alcohol). I didn't know what to do, so I called his brother (who lives an hour away). His brother came over after work and has sort of taken over things. My husband is completely out-of-it right now. His brother says that w...
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N8SMOM
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5
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1345
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Emotional Hangovers and Apologies
(Preview)
I've been searching for words to decribe how I feel and read a post here that just summed it all up.....emotionally hungover. Since the last contact with EXABF I have been everywhere and nowhere all at the same time. Upside down and inside out, dancing the dance just one more time. I can't maintai...
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shellyj123
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7
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556
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Not detached after all, turns out
(Preview)
I foolishly engaged in a chatty little email exchange with my main qualifier. I haven't seen him since before Christmas, and we've hardly talked or emailed. My life is good. I'm pretty happy, though I still miss him immensely. What could be the harm in talking about the weather and Easter plans? Nothi...
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gngcrzy
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10
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425
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The Difference Between Alanon and Therapy
(Preview)
I thought I'd start a new thread on this topic, although it was seeded by this comment from Joelle in the "Hard Sell" thread: I have always felt the way you do. Alanon seems to me to be a last resort. When you can no longer deal with the crap of the A in your life you turn to Alanon for supp...
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barisax
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7
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1064
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April Business Meeting Agenda
(Preview)
April 19, 2008Open with Serenity PrayerSecretary's Report: Approval of March Business Mtg. MinutesTreasurer's Report: ...
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Mandy123
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0
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288
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On learning to do better
(Preview)
I came across this today and would like to share it with you guys. It reminded me again to give myself a break and use the slogan easy does it each time I try to fire ahead looking for change overnight. The patterns I follow I have been following for a long time which means it is like starting from birth agai...
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chezza
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5
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612
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Step board
(Preview)
I am trying to register with the step board but it won't let me. It is saying that my email is allready in use. This is true because I am registered here. So now what do I do? Can any one help?
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BrianS
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1
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372
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My Ex-AH - the ups and downs
(Preview)
I have been divorced from my ex-ah for a year. We started dating again 6 months ago. I initiated that one. Things are going pretty good for us for the most part. However, I know that I could NEVER live w/him again. There are too many things about him that drive me crazy. The perfect situation for me is...
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QOD
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4
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306
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A bittersweet day.
(Preview)
((((Family))), Today is a bittersweet day for me. It's my anniversary. I miss my beloved Tim very much. I have many happy memories to comfort me. I was blessed to call him my best friend, my lover and my husband. I remember last April 1. It fell on a Sunday and of course it being the first day of trout...
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Karilynn
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17
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804
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SOmetimes I detect convoluted thinking.
(Preview)
I am one whose A is emotionally unavailable. By that I mean that he will not discuss my needs, wants, dreams, hopes, fears...nothing! He is the proverbial ostrich with its head in the sand. He changes the subject abruptly if I want to have a serious discussion. Well, I am no idiot. I have long since...
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Diva
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12
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725
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Finding a higher power greater than myself
(Preview)
I am feeling a power I have never felt before in my life which I believe is my higher power. The reason being that I found an email in my box today requesting me to delete my ex b/f from contact list due to an email being sent his way. I quickly and simply emailed him back apologising for the email being sent a...
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chezza
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3
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466
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Still affected years later?
(Preview)
I was wondering if others go through this......I have been with alanon for many years, I have divorced my a, (final this month). My life has improved in so many ways, financially, have received many promotions at work....I think maybe because I was working on myself. Have met a wonderful man, who trea...
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grateful
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5
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393
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Need Prayers...Dad is in Hospital
(Preview)
For those who I haven't talked to in the last couple days, we had to take my dad to the hospital on Thursday. He was having pain in the chest and shortness of breath. It turns out that he was having a heart attack. They are going to be doing a quadruple bypass tomorrow morning. Thankfully the attack did not c...
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stillkickin
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12
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555
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I don't know where to start
(Preview)
I don't know where to start. I just need to vent. I kicked my drug addicted boyfriend of 8 years out of our home a little over a month ago. During the last 8 years together, I saw his addiction go from miserable to worse back to miserable, before it finally evened out for two to three years due to methadone m...
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Girl Dandy
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5
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483
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Just realized something
(Preview)
I cannot stop crying again. I have now started to see a therapist again. My A blames me . I have expressed how depressed I am. Its my fault. My A drinks more tonight and argues with me that my attitude is bad. I am accused of seeing someone else. I answer, how could I with NO FRIENDS My A drinks and smokes more t...
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spirit
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17
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451
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