The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I found my husband passed out in the garage this morning (where he hides his alcohol). I didn't know what to do, so I called his brother (who lives an hour away). His brother came over after work and has sort of taken over things. My husband is completely out-of-it right now. His brother says that when my husband becomes more coherent, he's going to take him to rehab tomorrow. He's also going to spend the night tonight in case my husband gets out of control.
I'm glad to have the help, but he's very pushy. I want to go to a meeting tonight, but I just don't know if it's possible. There is a meeting a little farther away from my house that has babysitting, so maybe I'll go there. Besides, there's no way I can leave our son home alone with my brother-in-law.
My sister-in-law is planning to fly out here and stay with me for a week, so she can help out with Nate. Nate likes her, so that will be a big help.
My main concern right now is our finances. My husband takes care of all that stuff and I have no idea how he pays the bills (he pays most of them online). Plus he hasn't gotten the taxes done yet, so I may have to go to H&R Block, but I don't know where our paperwork is. UGHHHH! This is all so frustrating - I have a headache.
I can't believe I'm having to deal with this all over again (same thing happened a little over 3 years ago).
(1) First things first...break it down into manageable bits..what has to be taken care of first, and what can wait until tomorrow or next week...the world really won't end if you can't resolve it all by tonight!! There are worse things than to get an extension to file the taxes.
(2) Take care of you...you want to go to a meeting, then GO!! Leave your A to his brother and his HP. You need to focus on what YOU need right now.
(3) Remember to take it one day at a time...or one hour at a time if you need to...
(4) Remember to ask for help when you need it. Call an Al-Anon buddy or get online, but remember that we are here for you.
Yours in Recovery,
SLS
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Do not be anxious about tomorrow; tomorrow will look after itself. The Bible, from Courage to Change, p.138
Remember this: If you want an extension on the April 15th due date for payment of taxes, you must apply for one. SLS is right. Take all this in manageable bits.
I am sorry you are having to deal with all this once again, but maybe now is a good time to learn about your finances and how to look after the payment of bills, etc. Once you can take care of things yourself, you will feel an empowerment that you so badly need to feel.
THis is truly a "one day at a time" situation. You can do it
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
Sounds like you have alot going on. So one day at a time. Go to that meeting. My AHsober hasn't drank in over 20 years. He left 4 years ago and I am finding out that he is not as smart or as good with money as he told me he was and I thought he was. I have taken over at least my finances. I was pretty clueless but we need to do it for our sanity. Hang in there.
First you can file for an extenson on the internet. You'll have until October to file then. That will put off one headached. I am not sure anyone can be taken to rehab. They have to want to go.
I am glad you have a supportive family and are in al anon they can help a lot.
I was very very dependent on my ex A. The ex A gradually began to not pay the bills. In the end he didn't pay anything at all. I had to look at other options. There is no question your husband's disease has advanced. You may need to get a plan be in order to survive.
First let me say how sorry I am you are going through this. Second let me say IRS.gov, to help you apply for the extension. That will give you time to learn how to pay the bills and find all of the w-2's, 1099's and medical and pharmacy bills. You might want to call H&R Block and ask what you need and then start gathering it. But you can do it. Just take your time and take one thing at a time. Not everything has to be done right here right now. Hopefully you can get to that meeting. It is quite overwhelming to be where you are now but if your husband is in rehab he can still tell you how to do things. Having been through this once before you are familiar with this a little bit. You can do it, we are here to support you when you want it and need it. Good luck and you and your family are in my prayers.
